Andnaturesmilesopposite，Stanfieldhecopiesit;
　　O’erClaudeorPoussangsure’tishethatmaycrow：
　　ButSirRoss’sbestfaitureissmallmini-ature——
　　Heshouldn’tpaintfrescoesinfamedPimlico。
　　There’sLeslieandUwinshasrathersmalldoings;
　　There’sDyce，asbravemastherasEnglandcanshow;
　　Andtheflowersandthesthrawherries，surehenodauberis，ThatpaintedthepanelsoffamedPimlico。
　　InthepicturesfromWaltherScott，neverafaultthere’sgot，Surethemarble’sasnaturalasthrueScaglio;
　　AndtheChamberPompayenissweettotaketayin，Andaitbutther’dmuffinsinsweetPimlico。
　　There’slandscapesbyGruner，bothsolarandlunar，ThemtwolittleDoylestoo，deserveabravo;
　　WiddepiecebyyoungTownsend，（forjaninsaboundsin’t;）
　　Andthat’swhyhe’sshuitedtopaintPimlico。
　　ThatpictureofSevern’sisworthyofrever’nce，ButsomeIwon’tmintionisrathersoso;
　　Forsweetphiloso’phy，orcrumpetsandcoffee，Owhere’saPavilionlikesweetPimlico？
　　OtopraisethisPavilionwouldpuzzleQuintilian，Daymosthenes，Brougham，oryoungCicero;
　　SoheavenlyGoddess，d’yepardonmymodesty，Andsilence，mylyre！aboutsweetPimlico。
　　THECRYSTALPALACE。
　　WithganialfoireThransfusemeloyre，YesacrednympthsofPindus，ThewhoileIsingThatwondthrousthing，ThePalacemadeo’windows！
　　Say，Paxton，truth，Thouwondthrousyouth，Whatsthrokeofartcelistial，WhatpowerwaslintYoutoinvintThiscombineetioncristial。
　　OwouldbeforeThatThomasMoore，LikewoisethelateLordBoyron，ThimaiglessthrongOfgodlikesong，Castoionthatcastoiron！
　　Andsawthimwalls，Andglitteringhalls，Thimrisingslendthercolumns，WhichIpoorpote，Couldnotdenote，No，notintwintyvollums。
　　MyMuse’swordsIslikethebird’sThatroostsbeneaththepanesthere;
　　Herwingshespoils’Gainstthembrighttoiles，Andcrackshersillybrainsthere。
　　ThisPalacetall，ThisCristialHall，WhichImperorsmightcovet，StandsinHighParkLikeNoah’sArk，Arainbowbintaboveit。
　　Thetowersandfanes，Inotherscaynes，Thefameofthiswillundo，SaintPaul’sbigdoom，SaintPayther’sRoom，AndDublin’sproudRotundo。
　　’Tisherethatroams，AswellbecomesHerdigniteeandstations，VictoriaGreat，AndhouldsinstateTheCongressoftheNations。
　　HersubjectspoursFromdistantshores，HerInjiansandCanajians;
　　Andalsowe，Herkingdomsthree，Attindwithourallagiance。
　　HerecomelikewiseHerbouldallies，BothAsianandEuropian;
　　FromEastandWestTheysendtheirbestTofillherCoornucopean。
　　Iseen（thankGrace！）
　　Thiswonthrousplace（HisNobleHonorMistherH。ColeitwasThatgavethepass，Andletmeseewhatisthere）。
　　WithconsciousproideIstudinsoideAndlook’dtheWorld’sGreatFairin，UntilmesightWasdazzledquite，Andcouldn’tseeforstaring。
　　There’sholysaintsAndwindowpaints，ByMaydiayvalPugin;
　　AlhamboroughJonesDidpaintthetonesOfyellowandgambougein。
　　There’sfountainsthereAndcrossesfair;
　　There’swater-godswithurrns：
　　There’sorgansthree，Toplay，d’yesee？
　　"GodsavetheQueen，"byturrns。
　　There’sStatuesbrightOfmarblewhite，Ofsilver，andofcopper;
　　Andsomeinzinc，Andsome，Ithink，Thatisn’toverproper。
　　There’sstaymIngynes，Thatstandsinlines，Enormousandamazing，ThatsquealandsnortLikewhalesinsport，Orelephantsa-grazing。
　　There’scartsandgigs，Andpinsforpigs，There’sdibblersandthere’sharrows。
　　AndploughsliketoysForlittleboys，Andilegantwheelbarrows。
　　ForthimgenteelsWhorideonwheels，There’splentytoindulge’em：
　　There’sDroskyssnugFromPaytersbug，AndvayhyclesfromBulgium。
　　There’sCabsonStandsAndShandthrydanns;
　　There’sWaggonsfromNewYorkhere;
　　There’sLaplandSleighsHavecross’dtheseas，AndJauntingCyarsfromCorkhere。
　　AmazedIpassFromglasstoglass，DeloightedIsurvey’em;
　　FreshwondthersgrowsBeforemenoseInthissublimeMusayum！
　　Look，here’safanFromfarJapan，AsabrefromDamasco：
　　There’sshawlsyegetFromfarThibet，AndcottonprintsfromGlasgow。
　　There’sGermanflutes，Marockyboots，AndNaplesMacaronies;
　　BohaymiaHassentBohay;
　　Poloniaherpolonies。
　　There’sgraniteflintsThat’squiteimminse，There’ssacksofcoalsandfuels，There’sswordsandguns，Andsoapintuns，AndGingerbreadandJewels。
　　There’staypotsthere，Andcannonsrare;
　　There’scoffinsfill’dwithroses;
　　There’scanvastints，Teethinsthrumints，AndshuitsofclothesbyMOSES。
　　There’slashinsmoreOfthingsinstore，ButthimIdon’tremimber;
　　NorcoulddiscloseDidIcomposeFromMaytimetoNovimber！
　　Ah，JUDYthru！
　　Witheyessoblue，Thatyouwereheretoviewit！
　　AndcouldIscrewButtupoundtu，’TisIwouldthraityoutoit！
　　SoletusraiseVictoria’spraise，AndAlbert’sproudcondition，ThattakeshisayseAshesurveysThisCristialExhibition。
　　1851。
　　MOLONY’SLAMENT。
　　OTIM，didyouhearofthimSaxons，Andreadwhatthepeepersreport？
　　They’regoantorecaltheLiftinant，AndshutuptheCastleandCoort！
　　OurdesolatecounthryofOireland，They’rebint，theblagyards，todesthroy，Andnowhavingmurdtheredourcounthry，They’regointokilltheViceroy，Dearboy;
　　’Twashewasourproideandourjoy！
　　Andwillwenolongerbehouldhim，Surroundinghiscarriageinthrongs，Asheweaveshiscocked-hatfromthewindies，Andsmilestohisbouldaid-de-congs？
　　Ilikedfortoseetheyoungharoes，Allshoiningwithsthripesandwithstars，AhorsingaboutinthePhaynix，Andwinkingthegirlsinthecyars，LikeMars，Asmokin’theirpoipesandcigyars。
　　DearMitchellexoiledtoBermudies，Yourbeautifuloilidsyou’llope，Andthere’llbeanabondanceofcroyin’
　　FromO’BrineattheKeepofGoodHope，Whentheyreadofthisnewsinthepeepers，AcrasstheAtlanticalwave，ThatthelastoftheOirishLiftinintsOftheoislandofSeentshastucklave。GodsaveTheQueen——sheshouldbettherbehave。
　　Andwhat’stobecomeofpoorDameSthreet，Andwho’llaitthepuffsandthetarts，WhintheCoortofimparialsplindorFromDoblin’ssadcitydeparts？
　　Andwho’llhavethefiddlersandpipers，WhenthedeuceofaCoortthereremains？
　　Andwhere’llbethebucksandtheladies，TohiretheCoort-shuitsandthethrains？
　　Insthrains，It’sthusthatouldErincomplains！
　　There’sCounsellorFlanagan’sleedy’TwassheintheCoortdidn’tfail，Andshewantedaplintyofpopplin，Forherdthress，andherflounce，andhertail;
　　SheboughtitofMisthressO’Grady，Eightshillingsayardtabinet，ButnowthattheCoortisconcluded，Thedivvleayardwillsheget;Ibet，Bedad，thatshewearstheoldset。
　　There’sSurgeonO’TooleandMissLeary，They’ddaylingsatMadamO’Riggs’;
　　Eachyearatthedthrawing-roomsayson，Theymountedtheneatestofwigs。
　　WhenSpring，withitsbudsanditsdasies，Comesoutinherbeautyandbloom，Thimtu’llneverthinkofnewjasies，Becasethereisnodthrawing-room，ForwhomThey’dchoosetheexpensetoashume。
　　There’sAldermanToadandhislady，’TwastheygavetheClartandthePoort，Andthepoine-apples，turbots，andlobsters，TofeasttheLordLiftinint’sCoort。
　　Butnowthatthequality’sgoin，Iwarntthattheaitingwillstop，Andyou’llgetattheAlderman’steebleThedevilabiteoradthrop，Orchop;
　　Andthebutchermayshutuphisshop。
　　Yes，thegroomsandtheushersaregoin，AndhisLordship，thedearhonestman，AndtheDuchess，hiseemiableleedy，AndCorry，thebouldConnellan，AndlittleLordHydeandthechildthren，AndtheChewterandGovernesstu;
　　Andtheservantsarepackingtheirboxes，——
　　Oh，murther，butwhatshallIdueWithoutyou？
　　OMeery，withoisoftheblue！
　　MR。MOLONY’SACCOUNTOFTHEBALL。
　　GIVENTOTHENEPAULESEAMBASSADORBYTHEPENINSULARANDORIENTAL
　　COMPANY。
　　Owillyechoosetohearthenews，BedadIcannotpassito’er：
　　I’lltellyouallabouttheBallTotheNaypaulaseAmbassador。
　　Begor！thisfeteallballsdoesbateAtwhichI’vewornapump，andI
　　MusthererelatethesplendthorgreatOfth’OrientalCompany。
　　Thesemenofsinsedispoisedexpinse，TofetetheseblackAchilleses。
　　"We’llshowtheblacks，"saysthey，"Almack’s，AndtaketheroomsatWillis’s。"
　　Withflagsandshawls，fortheseNepauls，TheyhungtheroomsofWillisup，Anddeckedthewalls，andstairs，andhalls，Withrosesandwithliliesup。
　　AndJullien’sbandittuckitsstand，Sosweetlyinthemiddlethere，Andsoftbassoonsplayedheavenlychunes，Andviolinsdidfiddlethere。
　　AndwhentheCoortwastiredofspoort，I’dlaveyou，boys，tothinktherewasAnatebuffetbeforethemset，Wherelashinsofgooddhrinktherewas。
　　Attenbeforetheball-roomdoor，HismoightyExcellincywas，Hesmoiledandbowedtoallthecrowd，Sogorgeousandimmensehewas。
　　Hisduskyshuit，sublimeandmute，Intothedoor-wayfollowedhim;
　　AndOthenoiseoftheblackguardboys，Astheyhurroodandhollowedhim！
　　ThenobleChair*studatthestair，Andbadethedthrumstothump;andheDidthusevince，tothatBlackPrince，ThewelcomeofhisCompany。
　　Ofairthegirls，andrichthecurls，Andbrighttheoysyousawthere，was;
　　Andfixedeachoye，yetherecouldspoi，OnGineralJungBahawther，was！
　　ThisGineralgreatthentuckhissate，Withalltheotherginerals，（Bedadhistroat，hisbelt，hiscoat，Allbleezedwithpreciousminerals;）
　　Andashethere，withprincelyair，Recloininonhiscushionwas，AllroundabouthisroyalchairThesqueezinandthepushinwas。
　　OPat，suchgirls，suchJukes，andEarls，Suchfashionandnobilitee！
　　JustthinkofTim，andfancyhimAmidstthehoighgentilitee！
　　TherewasLordDeL’Huys，andthePortygeeseMinistherandhisladythere，AndIreckonized，withmuchsurprise，Ourmessmate，BobO’Grady，there;
　　TherewasBaronessBrunow，thatlookedlikeJuno，AndBaronessRehausenthere，AndCountessRoullier，thatlookedpeculiarWell，inherrobesofgauzeinthere。
　　TherewasLordCrowhurst（Iknewhimfirst，WhenonlyMr。Pipshewas），AndMickO’Toole，thegreatbigfool，Thataftersuppertipsywas。
　　TherewasLordFingall，andhisladiesall，AndLordsKilleenandDufferin，AndPaddyFife，withhisfatwife：
　　Iwondtherhowhecouldstuffherin。
　　TherewasLordBelfast，thatbymepast，AndseemedtoaskhowshouldIgothere？
　　AndtheWidowMacrae，andLordAHay，AndtheMarchionessofSligothere。
　　Yes，Jukes，andEarls，anddiamonds，andpearls，Andprettygirls，wassportingthere;
　　Andsomebeside（therogues！）Ispied，Behindthewindies，coortingthere。
　　Othere’soneIknow，bedadwouldshowAsbeautifulasanythere，AndI’dliketohearthepipersblow，AndshakeafutwithFannythere！
　　*JamesMatheson，Esq。，towhom，andtheBoardofDirectorsofthePeninsularandOrientalCompany，I，TimotheusMolony，latestokeronboardthe"Iberia，"the"LadyMaryWood，"the"Tagus，"andtheOrientalsteamships，humblydedicatethisproductionofmygratefulmuse。
　　THEBATTLEOFLIMERICK。
　　YeGeniiofthenation，Wholookwithveneration。
　　AndIreland’sdesolationonsaysinglydeplore;
　　YesonsofGeneralJackson，WhothrampleontheSaxon，AttendtothethransactionuponShannonshore，WhenWilliam，DukeofSchumbug，Atyrantandahumbug，Withcannonandwiththunderonourcitybore，OurfortitudeandvalianceInsthructedhisbattalionsTorespictthegalliantIrishuponShannonshore。
　　Sincethatcapitulation，NocityinthisnationSograndareputationcouldboastbefore，AsLimerickprodigious，Thatstandswithquaysandbridges，AndtheshipsuptothewindiesoftheShannonshore。
　　Achiefofancientline，’TisWilliamSmithO’BrineReprisintsthisdarlingLimerick，thistenyearsormore：
　　OtheSaxonscan’tendureToseehimontheflure，AndthrimbleattheCicerofromShannonshore！
　　ThisvalliantsonofMarsHadbeentovisitPar’s，ThatlandofRevolution，thatgrowsthetricolor;
　　AndtowelcomehisreturrnFrompilgrimagesfurren，WeinvitedhimtotayontheShannonshore。
　　ThenwesummonedtoourboardYoungMeagherofthesword：
　　’Tishewillsheathethatbattle-axeinSaxongore;
　　AndMitchilofBelfastWebadetoourrepast，TodthrinkadishofcoffeeontheShannonshore。
　　ConvanientlytohouldThesepatriotssobould，WetucktheopportunityofTimDoolan’sstore;
　　Andwithornamintsandbanners（Asbecomesgintalegoodmanners）
　　Wemadetheloveliesttay-roomuponShannonshore。
　　’Twouldbinifityoursowls，Toseethebuttheredrowls，Thesugar-tongsandsangwidgesandcraimgalyore，Andthemuffinsandthecrumpets，Andthebandofheartsandthrumpets，TocelebratethesworryuponShannonshore。
　　SuretheImperorofBohayWouldbeproudtodthrinkthetayThatMisthressBiddyRooneyforO’Brinedidpour;
　　And，sincethedaysofStrongbow，ThereneverwassuchCongo——
　　Mitchildthranksixquartsofit——byShannonshore。
　　ButClarndonandCorryConnellanbeheldthissworryWithrageandimulationintheirblackhearts’core;
　　AndtheyhiredagangofruffinsTointerruptthemuffins，AndthefragranceoftheCongoontheShannonshore。
　　Whenfulloftayandcake，O’Brinebegantospake;
　　Butjuiceaonecouldhearhim，forasuddenroarOfaragamuffinroutBegantoyellandshout，AndfrightentheproprietyofShannonshore。
　　AsSmithO’Brineharangued，Theybattheredandtheybanged：
　　TimDoolan’sdoorsandwindiesdowntheytore;
　　Theysmashedthelovelywindies（HungwithmuslinfromtheIndies），PurshuingoftheirshindiesuponShannonshore。
　　Withthrowingofbrickbats，Drownedpuppiesanddeadrats，Theseruffindemocratsthemselvesdidlower;
　　Tinkettles，rotteneggs，Cabbage-stalks，andwoodenlegs，TheyflungamongthepatriotsofShannonshore。
　　OthegirlsbegantoscrameAndupsetthemilkandcrame;
　　Andthehonorablegintlemin，theycursedandswore：
　　AndMitchilofBelfast，’Twashethatlookedaghast，WhentheyroastedhimineffigybyShannonshore。
　　OthelovelytaywasspiltOnthatdayofIreland’sguilt;
　　SaysJackMitchil，"Iamkilt！Boys，where’sthebackdoor？
　　’Tisanationaldisgrace：
　　Letmegoandveilmeface;"
　　AndheboultedwithquickpacefromtheShannonshore。
　　"Cutdownthebloodyhorde！"
　　SaysMeagherofthesword，"Thisconductwoulddisgraceanyblackamore;"
　　ButthebestuseTommymadeOfhisfamousbattlebladeWastocuthisownstickfromtheShannonshore。
　　ImmortalSmithO’BrineWasraginglikealine;
　　’Twouldhavedoneyoursowlgoodtohaveheardhimroar;
　　Inhisgloryhearose，Andherusheduponhisfoes，ButtheyhithimonthenosebytheShannonshore。
　　ThentheFuttandtheDthragoonsInsquadthronsandplatoons，Withtheirmusicplayingchunes，downuponusbore;
　　Andtheybatetherattatoo，ButthePeelerscameinview，AndendedtheshalooontheShannonshore。
　　LARRYO’TOOLE。
　　You’veallheardofLarryO’Toole，OfthebeautifultownofDrumgoole;
　　Hehadbutoneeye，Toogleyeby——
　　Oh，murther，butthatwasajew’l！
　　AfoolHemadeofdegirls，disO’Toole。
　　’Twashewastheboydidn’tfail，Thattuckdownpatatiesandmail;
　　HeneverwouldshrinkFromanysthrongdthrink，WasitwhiskyorDroghedaale;
　　I’mbailThisLarrywouldswallowapail。
　　Oh，manyanightatthebowl，WithLarryI’vesotcheekbyjowl;
　　He’sgonetohisrest，Where’sthere’sdthrinkofthebest，AndsoletusgivehisoldsowlAhowl，For’twashemadethenoggintorowl。
　　THEROSEOFFLORA。
　　SentbyaYoungGentlemanofQualitytoMissBr-dy，ofCastleBrady。
　　OnBrady’stowertheregrowsaflower，Itistheloveliestflowerthatblows，——
　　AtCastleBradytherelivesalady，（AndhowIlovehernooneknows）;
　　HernameisNora，andthegoddessFloraPresentsherwiththisbloomingrose。
　　"OLadyNora，"saysthegoddessFlora，"I’vemanyarichandbrightparterre;
　　InBrady’stowersthere’ssevenmoreflowers，Butyou’rethefairestladythere：
　　Notallthecounty，norIreland’sbounty，Canprojuiceatreasurethat’shalfsofair！"
　　Whatcheekisredder？surerosesfedher！
　　Herhairismaregolds，andhereyeofblew。
　　Beneathhereyelid，islikethevi’let，Thatdarklyglistenswithgentlejew！
　　Thelily’snatureisnotsurelywhiterThanNora’sneckis，——andherarrumstoo。
　　"Come，gentleNora，"saysthegoddessFlora，Mydearestcreature，takemyadvice，Thereisapoet，fullwellyouknowit，Whospendshislifetimeinheavysighs，——
　　YoungRedmondBarry，’tishimyou’llmarry，Ifrhymeandraisinyou’dchooselikewise。"
　　THELASTIRISHGRIEVANCE。
　　OnreadingofthegeneralindignationoccasionedinIrelandbytheappointmentofaScotchProfessortooneofHERMAJESTY’SGodlesscolleges，MASTERMOLLOYMOLONY，brotherofTHADDEUSMOLONY，Esq。，oftheTemple，ayouthonlyfifteenyearsofage，dashedoffthefollowingspiritedlines：——
　　AsIthinkoftheinsultthat’sdonetothisnation，RedtearsofrivingefrommefaturesIwash，Andupholdinthispome，totheworld’sdaytistation，ThesleevesthatappointedPROFESSORM’COSH。
　　Ilookroundmecounthree，renownedbyexparience，Andseemidstherchildthren，thewitty，thewise，——
　　Wholehaypsoflogicians，potes，schollars，grammarians，Allaygerforpleeces，allpantingtorise;
　　Igazeroundtheworldinitsutmostdiminsion;
　　LARDJAHNandhisminionsinCouncilIask;
　　WasthereeveraGovernment-pleece（withapinsion）
　　ButchildrenofErinwerefitforthattask？
　　What，Erinbeloved，isthyfetalcondition？
　　Whatshameinaychboosommustrankleandburrun，Tothinkthatourcountreehasne’eralogicianInthehourofherdeengerwillsurrevherturrun！
　　OnthelogicofSaxonsthere’slittlereliance，And，ratherfromSaxonsthangatheritsrules，I’dstampunderfeetthebasebookofhisscience，Andspitonhischairashetaughtintheschools！
　　OfalseSIRJOHNKANE！isitthusthatyoupraychme？
　　IthinkallyourQueen’sUniversiteesBosh;
　　Andifyou’venoneetiveProfessortotaychme，IscawurntobelearnedbytheSaxonM’COSH。
　　There’sWISEMANandCHUME，andHisGracetheLordPrimate，Thatsindsroundthebox，andtheworldwillsubscribe;
　　’Tisthey’llbuildaCollegethat’sfitforourclimate，AndtaychmethesaycretsIburntoimboibe！
　　’TisthereasaStudentofScienceI’llenther，FairFountainofKnowledge，ofJoy，andContint！
　　SAINTPATHRICK’SsweetStatueshallstandinthecenther，AndwinkhisdearoieverydayduringLint。
　　AndgoodDoctorNEWMAN，thatpraycherunwary，’TisheshallpresidetheAcademeeSchool，AndquitthegayrobeofST。PHILIPofNeri，TowieldthesoftrodofST。LAWRENCEO’TOOLE！
　　THEBALLADSOFPOLICEMANX。
　　THEWOLFENEWBALLADOFJANERONEYANDMARYBROWN。
　　AnigstrawnarytailIvilltellyouthisveek——
　　IstoodintheCourtofA’BecketttheBeak，VereMrs。JaneRoney，avidow，Isee，WhochargedMaryBrownwitharobbinofshe。
　　ThisMarywasporeandinmiseryonce，AndshecametoMrs。Roneyit’smorethantwelvemonce。
　　Sheadn’tgotnobed，nornodinnernornotea，AndkindMrs。RoneygaveMaryallthree。
　　Mrs。RoneykepMaryforeversomanyveeks，（HerconductdisgustedthebestofallBeax，）
　　Shekepherfornothink，askindascouldbe，NeverthinkinthatthisMarywasatraitortoshe。
　　"Mrs。Roney，OMrs。Roney，Ifeelveryill;
　　WillyoujuststeptotheDoctor’sfortofetchmeapill？"
　　"ThatIwill，myporeMary，"Mrs。Roneysaysshe;
　　AndshegoesofftotheDoctor’sasquicklyasmaybe。
　　NosooneronthismessageMrs。Roneywassped，ThanhupgitsvickedMary，andjumpsoutabed;
　　Shehopensallthetrunkswithoutneverakey——
　　Shebustesalltheboxes，andviththemmakesfree。
　　Mrs。Roney’sbestlinning，gownds，petticoats，andclose，Herchildren’slittlecoatsandthings，herboots，andherhose，Shepackedthem，andshestole’em，andavayviththemdidflee。
　　Mrs。Roney’ssituation——youmaythinkvatitvouldbe！
　　OfMary，ungrateful，whohadservedherthisvay，Mrs。Roneyheardnothinkforalongyearandaday。
　　TilllastThursday，inLambeth，venwhomshouldsheseeButthisMary，ashadactedsoungratefultoshe？
　　Shewasleaningonthehelboofaworthyyoungman，Theyweregoingtobemarried，andwerewalkinhandinhand;
　　AndtheChurchbellswasaringingforMaryandhe，Andtheparsonwasready，andawaitinforhisfee。
　　WhenupcomesMrs。Roney，andfacesMaryBrown，Whotrembles，andcasteshereyesupontheground。
　　Shecallsajollypleaseman，ithappenstobeme;
　　Ichargethisyonngwoman，Mr。Pleaseman，saysshe。
　　"Mrs。Roney，O，Mrs。Roney，O，doletmego，IactedmostungratefulIown，andIknow，Butthemarriagebellisaringin，andtheringyoumaysee，Andthisyoungmanisawaitin，"saysMarysaysshe。
　　"Idon’tcarethreefardensfortheparsonandclark，Andthebellmaykeepringinfromnoondaytodark。
　　MaryBrown，MaryBrown，youmustcomealongwithme;
　　AndIthinkthisyoungmanisluckytobefree。"
　　So，inspiteofthetearswhichbejew’dMary’scheek，ItookthatyounggurltoA’BecketttheBeak;
　　ThatexlentJusticedemandedherplea——
　　ButneverasullablesaidMarysaidshe。
　　Onaccountofherconducksobaseandsovile，Thatwickedyounggurliscommittedfortrile，Andifshe’stranspawtedbeyondthesaltsea，It’saproperrewardforsuchwilliansasshe。
　　NowyouyounggurlsofSouthwarkforMarywhoveep，Frompickinandstealinyourandsyoumustkeep，Oritmaybemydooty，asitwasThursdayveek，TopullyouallhuptoA’BecketttheBeak。
　　THETHREECHRISTMASWAITS。
　　MynameisPleacemanX;
　　LastnightIwasinbed，Adreamdidmeperplex，WhichcameintomyEdd。
　　IdreamedIsorthreeWaitsAplayingoftheirtune，AtPimlicoPalacegates，Allunderneaththemoon。
　　OnepuffedaholdFrenchhorn，AndoneaholdBanjo，AndonechapseedyandtornAHirishpipedidblow。
　　Theysadlypipedandplayed，Dexcribingoftheirfates;
　　Andthiswaswhattheysaid，ThosethreeporeChristmasWaits：
　　"Whenthisblackyearbegan，ThisEighteen-forty-eight，Iwasagreatgreatman，Andkingbothviseandgreat，AndMunseerGuizotbymedidshowAsMinisterofState。
　　"ButFebuwerrycame，Andbroughtarabblerout，AndmeandmygooddameAndchildrendidturnout，Andus，inspiteofallourright。
　　Senttotherightabout。
　　"Ileftmynativeground，Ileftmykinandkith，Ileftmyroyalcrownd，VichIcouldn’ttravelvith，AndwithoutapoundcametoEnglishground，InthenameofMr。Smith。
　　"LikeanyanchoriteI’velivedsinceIcamehere，I’vekepmyselfquitequite，I’vedrankthesmallsmallbeer，Andthevater，yousee，disagreesvithmeAndallmyfamlydear。
　　"OTweeleriessodear，OdarlingPallyRoyl，VasittofinishhereThatIdidtroubleandtoyl？
　　Thatallmyplansshouldbreakinmyands，Andshouldonmerecoil？
　　"MystateIfencedaboutVithbaynicksandvithguns;
　　MygalsIportionedhout，RichvivesIgotmysons;
　　Ovarn’titcruletolosemyrule，Mymoneyandlandsatonce？
　　"Andso，vitharpandwoice，Bothtroubledandshagreened，Ihidyoutorejoice，OgloriousEngland’sQueend！
　　Andneverhavetoveep，likeporeLouis-Phileep，Becauseyououtarecleaned。
　　"OPrins，sobraveandstout，Istandbeforeyourgate;
　　PraysendatriflehoutTome，yourporeoldVait;
　　Fornothinkcouldbevussthanit’sbeenalongvithusInthisyearForty-eight。"
　　"Venthisbadyearbegan，"
　　Thenexmansaid，seysee，"IvasaJourneyman，Ataylorblackandfree，Andmywifewentoutandchairedabout，Andmyname’stheboldCuffee。
　　"TheQueenandHalbertbothIsworeIwouldconfound，ItookahawflehoathTodragthemtotheground;
　　AndsevralmorewithmetheysworeAginsttheBritishCrownd。
　　"AginstherPleacemenallWesaidwe’dtryourstrenth;
　　HerscarlicksoldierstallWevow’dwe’dlayfulllenth;
　　Andoutwecame，inFreedom’sname，LastAyprilwasthetenth。
　　"Three’undredthousandsnobsCameouttostopthevay，Vithsticksvithironknobs，Orelsewe’dgainedtheday。
　　Theharmyquitekeptoutofsight，Andsoveventavay。
　　"NextdaythePleacemencame——
　　Rewengeitwastheirplann——
　　AndfrommygoodolddameTheytookhertailor-mann：
　　AndthehardhardbeakdidmebespeakToNewgitintheWann。
　　"InthatetrociousCortTheJewrydidagree;
　　TheJudgedidmetransport，Togobeyondthesea：
　　Andsoforlife，fromhisdearwifeTheytookpooroldCuffee。
　　"OHalbert，AppyPrince！
　　Withchildrenroundyourknees，IngravingansumPrints，Andtakinghoffyourhease;
　　Othinkofme，theoldCuffee，Beyondthesoltsoltseas！
　　"AlthoughI’mholdandblack，Myhanguishismostgreat;
　　GreatPrince，Ocallmeback，AndIvillbeyourVait！
　　AndnevernomorevillbreaktheLor，AsIdidin’Forty-eight。"
　　Thetailerthusdidclose（Aporeoldblackymorerogue），Whenadismalgentuprose，AndspokewithHirishbrogue：
　　"I’mSmithO’Brine，ofRoyalLine，DescendedfromRoryOgue。
　　"WhengreatO’Connledied，Thatmanwhomalldidtrust，ThatmanwhomHenglishprideBeheldwithsuchdisgust，ThenErinfreefixedeyesonme，AndswoarIshouldbefust。
　　"’ThegloriousHirishCrown，’
　　Saysshe，’itshallbethine：
　　Longtime，it’swerywellknown，Youkepitinyourline;
　　ThatdiademofhemeraldgemIsyours，mySmithO’Brine。
　　"’ToolongtheSaxonchurlOurlandencumberedhath;
　　ArisemyPrince，myEarl，Andbrushthemfromthypath：
　　Rise，mightySmith，andsveep’emvithThebesomofyourwrath。’
　　"TheninmymightIrose，MycountryIsurveyed，Isawitfilledwithfoes，Iviewedthemundismayed;
　　’Ha，ha！’saysI，’theharvest’shigh，I’llreapitwithmyblade。’
　　"MywarriorsIenrolled，Theyralliedroundtheirlord;
　　AndcheafsincounciloldIsummonedtotheboard——
　　WiseDohenyandDuffybold，AndMeagheroftheSword。
　　"IstoodonSlievenamaun，Theycamewithpikesandbills;
　　Theygatheredinthedawn，Likemistuponthehills，AndrushedadownthemountainsideLiketwentythousandrills。
　　"Theirfortressweassail;
　　Hurroo！myboys，hurroo！
　　ThebloodySaxonsquailTohearthewildShaloo：
　　Strike，andprevail，proudInnesfail，O’Brineaboo，aboo！
　　"Ourpeopletheydefied;
　　Theyshotat’emlikesavages，TheirbloodygunstheypliedWithsanguinaryravages：
　　Hide，blushingGlory，hideThatdayamongthecabbages！
　　"AndsonomoreI’llsay，ButaskyourMussygreat。
　　Andhumblysingandpray，YourMajesty’spoorWait：
　　YourSmithO’Brinein’Forty-nineWillblushfor’Forty-eight。"
　　LINESONALATEHOSPICIOUSEWENT。*
　　BYAGENTLEMANOFTHEFOOTGUARDS（BLUE）。
　　IpaceduponmybeatWithsteadystepandslow，AllhuppandowndofRanelaghStreet：
　　Ran’laghSt。Pimlico。
　　WhilemarchinghuppandowndUponthatfairMaymorn，Beoldtheboomingcanningssound，Aroyalchildisborn！
　　TheMinistersofStateThenpresnlyIsor，TheygallopstothePallisgate，Incarridgesandfor。
　　Withanxiouslooksintent，Beforethegatetheystop，TherecomesthegoodLordPresident，AndtheretheArchbishopp。
　　LordJohnhenextelights;
　　Andwhocomeshereinhaste？
　　’Tistheeroofoneunderdfights，Thecaudlefortotaste。
　　ThenMrs。Lily，thenuss，Towardsthemstepswithjoy;
　　SaysthebraveoldDuke，"Cometelltous，Isitagaloraboy？"
　　SaysMrs。L。totheDuke，"YourGrace，itisAPRINCE。"
　　Andatthatnuss’sboldrebuke，Hedidbothlaughandwince。
　　HevewswithpleasantlookThispootyflowerofMay，Then，saysthewenarableDuke，"Egad，it’smybuthday。"
　　Bymemorybackwardsborne，PerapshisthoughtsdidstrayTothatoldplacewherehewasborn，UponthefirstofMay。
　　PerhapshedidrecalTheancienttowersofTrim;
　　AndCountyMeathandDanganHallTheydidrewisithim。
　　IphansyofhimsoHisgoodoldthoughtsemployin’;
　　FourscoreyearsandoneagoBesidetheflowin’Boyne。
　　Hisfatherprapshesees，MostMusicleofLords，AplayingmaddriglesandgleesUpontheArpsicords。
　　JestphansythisoldEroUponhismother’sknee！
　　DideverladyinthislandAvegreatersonsthanshe？
　　AndIshoudnbesurprizeWhilethiswasinhismind，IfadroptheretwinkledinhiseyesOfunfamiliarbrind……
　　ToHapslyOusenextdayDrivesupaBrooshandfor，AgraciousprincesitsinthatShayImentionhimwithHor！）
　　Theyringuponthebell，ThePortershowshisEd，（HefoughtatVaterlooasvell，AndvearsaVeskitred）。
　　Toseethatcarriagecome，Thepeoplerounditpress：
　　"AndisthegalliantDukeatome？"
　　"YourRoyalIghness，yes。"
　　HesteppsfromouttheBrooshAndinthegateisgone;
　　AndX，althoughthepeoplepush，Sayswarykind，"Movehon。"
　　TheRoyalPrinceuntoThegalliantDukedidsay，"Dearduke，mylittlesonandyouWasborntheselfsameday。
　　"TheLadyoftheland，MywifeandSovringdear，ItisbyherhorgustcommandIwaituponyouhere。
　　"ThatladyisaswellAscanexpectedbe;
　　AndtoyourGraceshebidmetellThisgraciousmessagefree。
　　"Thatoffspringofourrace，Whomyesterdayyousee，ToshowourhonorforyourGrace，PrinceArthurheshallbe。
　　"Thatnameitrhymestofame;
　　AllEuropeknowsthesound：
　　AndIcouldn’tfindabetternameIfyou’dgivemetwentypound。
　　"KingArthurhadhisknightsThatgirthistableround，Butyouhavewonahundredfights，Willmatch’emI’llbebound。
　　"YoufoughtwithBonypart，AndlikewiseTippooSaib;
　　InameyouthenwithallmyheartTheGodsireofthisbabe。"
　　ThatPrincehisleavewastook，Hishinterviewwasdone。
　　SoletusgivethegoodoldDukeGoodluckofhisgod-son。
　　AndwishhimyearsofjoyInthisourtimeofSchism，Andhopehe’llheartheroyalboyHislittlecatechism。
　　AndmypootylittlePrinceThat’scomeourartstocheer，LetmemyloyalpowersewinceAwelcominofyouere。
　　AndthePoit-Laureat’scrownd，Ithink，insomerespex，EgstremelyshootablemightbefoundForhonestPleasemanX。
　　*ThebirthofPrinceArthur。
　　THEBALLADOFELIZADAVIS。
　　Galliantgentsandlovelyladies，Listatailvichlatebefel，VichIheardit，beinonduty，AtthePleaceHoffice，Clerkenwell。
　　PrapsyouknowtheFondlingChapel，Verethelittlechildrensings：
　　（Lor！IlikestohearonSundiesThemtherepootylittlethings！
　　Inthisstreettherelivedahousemaid，Ifyouparticklarlyaskmewhere——
　　Vy，itvasatfour-and-tventyGuilfordStreet，byBrunsvickSquare。
　　VichhernamewasElizaDavis，Andshewenttofetchthebeer：
　　InthestreetshemetapartyAswasquitesurprizedtoseeher。
　　VichhevasaBritishSailor，Fortojudgehimbyhislook：
　　Tarryjacket，canvasstrowsies，Ha-laMr。T。P。Cooke。
　　PresentlythisMannaccostesOfthishinnocentyounggal——
　　"Pray，"saysee，"excusemyfreedom，You’resolikemySisterSal！
　　"You’resolikemySisterSally，Bothinvalkandfaceandsize，Miss，that——dangmyoldleescuppers，Itbringstearsintomyheyes！"
　　"I’mamateonboardawessel，I’masailorboldandtrue;
　　Shiverupmypooroldtimbers，Letmebeamateforyou！
　　"What’syourname，mybeauty，tellme;"
　　Andshefaintlyhansers，"Lore，Sir，myname’sElizaDavis，AndIliveattventy-four。"
　　HoftimescamethisBritishseaman，Thisdeludedgaltomeet;
　　Andattventy-fourwaswelcome，Tventy-fourinGuilfordStreet。
　　AndElizatoldherMaster（KindertheythanMissusesare），Howinmarridgehehadasther，LikeagalliantBrittishTar。
　　Andhebroughthislandladyvithhim，（Vichvasallhishartfulplan），AndshetoldhowCharleyThompsonReelyvasagoodyoungman。
　　AndhowsheherselfhadlivedinManyyearsofunionsweet，Vithagentshemetpromiskous，Valkininthepublicstreet。
　　AndElizalistenedtothem，AndshethoughtthatsoontheirbandsVouldbepublishedattheFondlin，Handtheclergymenjinetheirands。
　　Andheastaboutthelodgers，（Vichhermasterletsomerooms），Likeviseveretheykeptheirthings，andVerehermasterkephisspoons。
　　HandthisvickedCharleyThompsonCameonSundyveektoseeher;
　　AndhesentElizaDavisHouttofetchapintofbeer。
　　HandwhileporeElizaventtoFetchthebeer，dewoidofsin，ThisetrociousCharleyThompsonLethiswileaccomplishhin。
　　Tothelodgers，theirapartments，Thisabandingdfemalegoes，Prigstheirshirtsandumberellas;
　　Prigstheirboots，andhats，andclothes。
　　VilethescoundrelCharleyThompson，Lesthiswictimshouldescape，Hocusthervithrumandvater，Likeafiendinhumingshape。
　　Butahiwasfixtupon’emVichtheseraskleslittlesore;
　　Namely，Mr。Hide，thelandlordOfthehouseattventy-four。
　　Hevasvalkininhisgarden，Justaforeheventtosup;
　　AndonlookinguphesortheLodgers’vinderslightedhup。
　　Hupthestairsthelandlordtumbled;
　　Something’sgoingwrong，hesaid;
　　AndhecaughtthevickedvomanUnderneaththelodgers’bed。
　　AndhecalledabrotherPleaseman，Vichvaspassingonhisbeat;
　　Likeatrueandgalliantfeller，HupanddowninGuilfordStreet。
　　AndthatPleasemanable-bodiedTookthisvomantothecell;
　　Tothecellvereshewasquodded，IntheCloseofClerkenwell。
　　AndthoughvickedCharleyThompsonBoultedlikeamiscrantbase，PresentlyanotherPleasemanTookhimtotheself-sameplace。
　　AndthispreciouspairofrasklesTuesdaylastcameupfordoom;
　　Bythebeaktheywascommitted，VichhisnamewasMr。Combe。
　　HasforpoorElizaDavis，Simplegurloftventy-four，SHEIope，villneverlistenInthestreetstosailorsmoar。
　　Butifshemustaveasweet-art，（Vichmosteverygurlexpex，）
　　Lethertakeajollypleaseman;
　　Vichhisnameperapsis——X。
　　DAMAGES，TWOHUNDREDPOUNDS。
　　SpecialJurymenofEngland！whoadmireyourcountry’slaws，AndproclaimaBritishJuryworthyoftherealm’sapplause;
　　GaylycomplimenteachotherattheissueofacauseWhichwastriedatGuildford’sizes，thisdayweekaseverwas。
　　Untothataugusttribunalcomesagentlemaningrief，（SpecialwastheBritishJury，andtheJudge，theBaronChief，）
　　ComesaBritishmanandhusband——askingofthelawrelief;
　　Forhiswifewasstolenfromhim——he’dhavevengeanceonthethief。
　　Yes，hiswife，theblessedtreasurewiththewhichhislifewascrowned，Wickedlywasravishedfromhimbyahypocriteprofound。
　　AndhecomesbeforetwelveBritons，menforsenseandtruthrenowned，Toawardhimforhisdamage，twentyhundredsterlingpound。
　　HebycounselandattorneythereatGuildforddoesappear，Askingdamageofthevillainwhoseducedhisladydear：
　　ButIcan’thelpasking，thoughthelady’sguiltwasalltooclear，Andthoughguiltythedefendant，wasn’ttheplaintiffratherqueer？
　　Firstthelady’smotherspoke，andsaidshe’dseenherdaughtercryButafortnightaftermarriage：earlytimesforpipingeye。
　　Sixmonthsafter，thingswereworse，andthepipingeyewasblack，AndthisgallantBritishhusbandcanedhiswifeupontheback。
　　Threemonthsaftertheyweremarried，husbandpushedhertothedoor，Toldhertobeoffandleavehim，forhewantedhernomore。
　　Asshewouldnotgo，whyHEwent：thricehelefthisladydear;
　　Lefther，too，withoutapenny，formorethanaquarterofayear。
　　Mrs。FrancesDuncanknewthepartiesverywellindeed，Shehadseenhimpullhislady’snoseandmakeherliptobleed;
　　Ifhechancedtositathomenotasinglewordhesaid：
　　Onceshesawhimthrowthecoverofadishathislady’shead。
　　SarahGreen，anotherwitness，cleardidtothejurynoteHowshesawthishonestfellowseizehisladybythethroat，Howhecursedherandabusedher，beatingherintoafit，Tillthepityingnext-doorneighborscrossedthewallandwitnessedit。
　　NextdoortothisinjuredBritonMr。Owersabutcherdwelt;
　　Mrs。Owers’sfoolishhearttowardsthiserringdamedidmelt;
　　（Notthatshehaderredasyet，crimewasnotdevelopedinher），Butbeingleftwithoutapenny，Mrs。Owerssuppliedherdinner——
　　GodbemercifultoMrs。Owers，whowasmercifultothissinner！
　　CarolineNaylorwastheirservant，saidtheyledawretchedlife，SawthismostdistinguishedBritonflingateacupathiswife;
　　Hewentouttoballsandpleasures，andneveronce，intenmonths’
　　space，Satwithhiswifeorspokeherkindly。Thiswasthedefendant’scase。
　　Pollock，C。B。，chargedtheJury;saidthewoman’sguiltwasclear：
　　Thatwasnotthepoint，however，whichtheJurycametohear;
　　Butthedamagetodeterminewhich，asitshouldtrueappear，Thismosttender-heartedhusband，whosousedhisladydear——
　　Beather，kickedher，canedher，cursedher，leftherstarving，yearbyyear，Flungherfromhim，partedfromher，wrungherneck，andboxedherear——
　　Whatthereasonabledamagethisafflictedmancouldclaim，Bythelossoftheaffectionsofthisguiltygracelessdame？
　　ThenthehonestBritishTwelve，toeachotherturninground，Laidtheircleverheadstogetherwithawisdommostprofound：
　　AndtowardshisLordshiplooking，spoketheforemanwiseandsound;——
　　"MyLord，wefindforthishereplaintiff，damagestwohundredpound。"
　　So，GodblesstheSpecialJury！prideandjoyofEnglishground，AndthehappylandofEngland，wheretruejusticedoesabound！
　　Britishjurymenandhusbands，letushailthisverdictproper：
　　IfaBritishwifeoffendsyou，Britons，you’vearighttowhopher。
　　Thoughyoupromisedtoprotecther，thoughyoupromisedtodefendher，Youarewelcometoneglecther：tothedevilyoumaysendher：
　　Youmaystrikeher，curse，abuseher;sodeclaresourlawrenowned;
　　Andifafterthisyouloseher，——why，you’repaidtwohundredpound。
　　THEKNIGHTANDTHELADY。
　　There’sintheVestacitypleasantTovichKingBladudgevhisname，Andinthatcitythere’saCrescentVeredweltanobleknightoffame。
　　Althoughthatgalliantknightisoldish，AlthoughSirJohnasgray，grayair，Hagehasnotmadehisbusumcoldish，HisArtstillbeatstewoddstheFair！
　　’Twastwoyearssins，thisknightsosplendid，PerapsfateaguedwithBath’sroutines，ToParistownehisphootstepsbendedInsutchofgayerfolksandseans。
　　Hisandwasfree，hismeanswaseasy，Anobler，finergentthanheNe’erdroveabouttheShons-Eleesy，OrpacedtheRoodeRivolee。
　　AbroughamandpairSirJohnprowided，Inwhichabroadhelovedtoride;
　　Butar！hemostofallenjyedit，Whensomeonehelsewassittin’inside！
　　That"someonehelse"alovelydamewasDearladiesyouwillheasytell——
　　CountessGrabrowskihersweetnamewas，Anobletitle，ardtospell。
　　ThisfaymusCountessadadaughterOflovelyformandtenderart;
　　Anoblemaninmarridgesoughther，BynametheBaronofSaintBart。
　　TheirpashntouchedthenobleSirJohn，Itwassopewerandprofound;
　　LadyGrabrowskihedidurgeonWithHyming’swreeththeirlovestocrownd。
　　"O，cometoBath，toLansdowneCrescent，"
　　SayskindSirJohn，"andlivewithme;
　　Thelivingthere’suncommonpleasant——
　　I’msureyou’llfindthehairagree。
　　"O，cometoBath，myfairGrabrowski，Andbringyourcharminggirl，"sezee;
　　"TheBarringhereshallhavetheouse-key，Vithbreakfast，dinner，lunch，andtea。
　　"Andwhenthey’vepassedanappywinter，Theiropesandlovesnomorewe’llbar;
　　Themarridge-vowthey’llenterinter，AndIatchurchwillbetheirPar。"
　　ToBaththeywenttoLansdowneCrescent，WheregoodSirJohnhedidprovideNoendofteasandballsincessant，Andhossesbothtodriveandride。
　　HewassoOspitablybusy，WhenMisswaslate，he’dmakesoboldUpstairstocallout，"Missy，Missy，Comedown，thecoffy’sgettingcold！"
　　ButO！’tissaddtothinksuchbountiesShouldmeetwithsuchreturnasthis;
　　OBarringofSaintBart，OCountessGrabrowski，andOcruelMiss！
　　HemarriedyouatBath’sfairHabby，SaintBarthetreatedlikeason——
　　Andwasn’tituncommonshabbyTodowhatyouhavewentanddone！
　　MytremblingAndamostrefewsesTowritethechargewhichSirJohnswore，OfwhichtheCountessheecuses，Herdaughterandherson-in-lore。
　　MyMewsquiteblushesasshesingsofThefatlechargewhichnowIquote：
　　HesaysMisstookhistwobestringsoff，Andpawned’emforatenpunnote。
　　"Isthisthechildofhonestparince，Tomakeawaywithfolks’bestthings？
　　Isthis，pray，likethewivesofBarrins，Togoandprigagentleman’srings？"
　　ThusthoughtSirJohn，byangerwroughton，Andtorewengehisinjuredcause，HebroughtthemhuptoMr。Broughton，LastVensdayveekaseverwaws。
　　Ifguiltless，howshehavebeenslandered！
　　Ifguilty，wengeancewillnotfail：
　　MeanwhiletheladyisremandedAndgevthreehundredpounsinbail。
　　JACOBHOMNIUM’SHOSS。
　　ANEWPALLICECOURTCHANT。
　　OneseesinViteallYard，Verepleacemendoresort，Awenerablehinstitute，’Tiscall’dthePallisCourt。
　　Agentasgothisionit，Ithink’twillmakesomesport。
　　ThenaturofthisCourtMyhindignationriles：
　　AfewfatlegalspidersHereset&spintheirviles;
　　Torobthetowntheyrprivlegeis，Inahayreaoftwelvemiles。
　　TheJudgeofthisyearCourtIsamellitarybeak，HeknowsnomoreofLorThanprapshedoesofGreek，AndprowideshisselfadeputyBecausehecannotspeak。
　　FourcounselinthisCourt——
　　MisnamedofJustice——sits;
　　TheselawyersowestheirplacestoTheirmoney，nottheirwits;
　　Andthere’ssixattorniesunderthem，Asheretheirlivinggits。
　　Theselawyers，sixandfour，Wasalivinattheirease，Asendinoftheirwritsabowt，Anddroringinthefees，WhentheireroseacirkimstanceAsisliketomakeabreeze。
　　Itnowissomemoncesince，AgentbothgoodandtrewPossestanansumossvithvichHedidnknowwhattodo：
　　Perapshedidnotliketheoss;
　　Perapshewasascru。
　　ThisgentlemanhisossAtTattersall’sdidlodge;
　　Therecameawulgaross-dealer，Thisgentleman’snamedidfodge，AndtooktheossfromTattersall’sWasnthataartfuldodge？
　　Onedaythisgentleman’sgroomThiswillaindidspyout，AmountedonthisossAridinhimabout;
　　"Getoutofthatthereoss，yourogue，"
　　Speaksupthegroomsostout。
　　Thethiefwascruelwhex’dTofindhimselfsopinn’d;
　　Theossbegantowhinny，Thehonestgloomhegrinn’d;
　　AndtherasklethiefgotofftheossAndcutavaylikevind。
　　AndphansywithwhatjoyThemasterdidregardHisdearlybluvdlostossagainTrotinthestableyard！
　　WhowasthismastergoodOfwhombImakestheserhymes？
　　HisnameisJacobHomnium，Exquire;
　　AndifI’dcommittedcrimes，GoodLordIwouldn’tavethatmannAttackmeintheTimes！
　　NowshortlyafterthegroombHismaster’sossdidtakeup，Therecamealivery-manThisgentlemantowakeup;
　　Andhehandedinalittlebill，WhichhangeredMr。Jacob。
　　FortwopoundseventeenThislivery-maneplied，ForthekeepofMr。Jacob’soss，Whichthethiefhadtooktoride。
　　"Doyouseeanythinkgreeninme？"
　　Mr。JacobHomniumcried。
　　"BecausearasklechewsMyossawaytorobb，AndgoestickatyourMewsForseven-and-fiftybobb，ShallIbecall’dtopay？——ItisAiniquitiousJobb。"
　　ThusMr。JacobcutTheconwasationshort;
　　Thelivery-manwentome，Detummingdtoavesport，AndsummingsdJacobHomnium，Exquire，IntothePallisCourt。
　　PoreJacobwenttoCourt，ACounselfortofix，Andchooseabarristeroutofthefour，Anattorneyofthesix：
　　AndtherehesorthesemenofLor，Andwatch’d’emattheirtricks。
　　ThedreadfuldayoftrileInthePallisCourtdidcome;
　　Thelawyerssaidtheirsay，TheJudgelook’dweryglum，AndthentheBritishJurycastPoreJacobHom-ni-um。
　　OawearydaywasthatForJacobtogothrough;
　　Thedebtwastwoseventeen（Whichhenomorowedthanyou），Andthentherewastheplaintivescosts，Elevenpoundsixandtwo。
　　Andthentherewashisown，WhichthelawyerstheydidfixAtthewerymoderitfiggarOftenpoundoneandsix。
　　NowEvinsblessthePallisCourt，Andallitsboldver-dicks！
　　IcannotsettinglytellIfJacobswawandcust，Atavingfortopaythissumb;
　　ButIshouldthinkhemust，AndavdrawnachequeforL244s。8d。
　　Withmostigstremedisgust。
　　OPallisCourt，youmoveMypittymostprofound。
　　AmostemusingsportYouthoughtit，I’llbebound，Tosaddlehupathree-pounddebt，Withtwo-and-twentypound。
　　GoodsportitistoyouTogrindthehonestpore，TopaytheirjustorunjustdebtsWitheighthundredpercent。forLor;
　　Makehasteandgetyourcostesin，Theywillnotlastmuchmor！
　　Comedownfromthattribewn，ThoushamelessandUnjust;
　　ThouSwindle，pickingpocketsinThenameofTruthaugust：
　　Comedown，thouhoaryblasphemy，Fordiethoushaltandmust。
　　Andgoit，JacobHomnium，Andplyyourironpen，Andriseup，SirJohnJervis，Andshutmeupthatden;
　　Thatstyforfatteninglawyersin，Onthebonesofhonestmen。
　　PLEACEMANX。
　　THESPECULATORS。
　　Thenightwasstormyanddark，Thetownwasshutupinsleep：
　　Onlythosewereabroadwhowereoutonalark，Orthosewho’dnobedstokeep。
　　Ipass’dthroughthelonelystreet，Thewinddidsingandblow;
　　Icouldhearthepoliceman’sfeetClappingtoandfro。
　　Therestoodapotato-manInthemidstofallthewet;
　　Hestoodwithhis’tato-canInthelonelyHay-market。
　　Twogentsofdismalmien，Anddankandgreasyrags，Cameoutofashopforgin，Swaggeringovertheflags：
　　Swaggeringoverthestones，Theseshabbybucksdidwalk;
　　AndIwentandfollowedthoseseedyones，Andlistenedtotheirtalk。
　　WasIsoberorawake？
　　CouldIbelievemyears？
　　ThosedismalbeggarsspakeOfnothingbutrailroadshares。
　　Iwonderedmoreandmore：
　　Saysone——"Goodfriendofmine，Howmanyshareshaveyouwrotefor，IntheDiddlesexJunctionline？"
　　"Iwrotefortwenty，"saysJim，"Buttheywouldn’tgivemeone;"
　　HiscomradestraightrebukedhimForthefollyhehaddone：
　　"OJim，youareunawaresOfthewaysofthisbadtown;
　　Ialwayswriteforfivehundredshares，AndTHENtheyputmedown。"
　　"Andyetyougotnoshares，"
　　SaysJim，"forallyourboast;"
　　"IWOULDhavewrote，"saysJack，"butwhereWasthepennytopaythepost？"
　　"Ilost，forIcouldn’tpayThatfirstinstalmentup;
　　Buthere’s’taterssmokinghot——Isay，Let’sstop，myboy，andsup。"
　　AndatthissimplefeastThewhiletheydidregale，IdreweachraggedcapitalistDownonmyleftthumbnail。
　　Theirtalkdidmeperplex，AllnightItumbledandtost，Andthoughtofrailroadspecs，Andhowmoneywaswonandlost。
　　"Blessrailroadseverywhere，"
　　Isaid，"andtheworld’sadvance;
　　BlesseveryrailroadshareInItaly，Ireland，France;
　　Forneverabeggarneednowdespair，Andeveryroguehasachance。"
　　AWOEFULNEWBALLAD
　　OFTHEPROTESTANTCONSPIRACYTOTAKETHEPOPE’SLIFE。
　　（BYAGENTLEMANWHOHASBEENONTHESPOT。）
　　ComeallyeChristianpeople，untomytalegiveear，’Tisaboutabaseconsperracy，asquicklyshallappear;
　　’Twillmakeyourhairtobristleup，andyoureyestostartandglow，Whenofthisdreadconsperracyyouhonestfolksshallknow。
　　Thenewsofthisconsperracyandvillianousattempt，Ireaditinanewspaper，fromItalyitwassent：
　　ItwassentfromlovelyItaly，wheretheolivestheydogrow，Andourholyfatherlives，yes，yes，whilehisnameitisNoNO。
　　And’tisthereourEnglishnoblemengoesthatisPuseyitesnolonger，Becausetheyfindstheancientfaithbothbetterisandstronger，And’tisthereIkneltbesidemylordwhenhekiss’dthePOPEhistoe，AndhunghisneckwithchainsatSt。Peter’sVinculo。
　　And’tistherethesplendidchurchesis，andthefountainsplayinggrand，AndthepalaceofPRINCETORLONIA，likewisetheVatican;
　　Andthere’sthestairswherethebagpipe-menandthepiffararysblow。
　　Andit’sthereIdrovemyladyandlordintheParkofPincio。
　　And’tisthereoursplendidchurchesisinalltheirprideandglory，SaintPeter’sfamousBasiliskandSaintMary’sMaggiory;
　　AndthembenightedProdestants，onSundaytheymustgoOutsidethetowntothepreaching-shopbythegateofPopolo。
　　NowinthistownoffamousRoom，asIdessayyouhaveheard，Thereisscarcelyanygentlemanashasn’tgotabeard。
　　Andeversincetheworldbeganitwasordainedso，Thatthereshouldalwaysbarbershewheresumeverbeardsdogrow。
　　Andasitalwayshasbeensosincetheworlditdidbegin，ThePOPE，ourHolyPotentate，hasabearduponhischin;
　　Andeverymorningregularwhencocksbegintocrow，TherecomesacertingpartytowaitonPOPEPIO。
　　Therecomesacertinggintlemenwithrazier，soap，andlather，AshavingmostrespectfullythePOPE，ourHolyFather。
　　AndnowthedreadconsperracyI’llquicklytoyoushow，WhichthemsanguinaryProdestantsdidformagainstNONO。
　　ThemsanguinaryProdestants，whichIaboreandhate，Assembledinthepreaching-shopbytheFlaminiangate;
　　AndtheytookcounselwiththeirselvestodealadeadlyblowAgainstourgentleFather，theHolyPOPEPIO。
　　ExhibitingawickednesswhichIneverheardorreadof;
　　WhatdoyouthinkthemProdestantswished？tocutthegoodPope’sheadoff！
　　AndtothekindPOPE’SAir-dressertheProdestantClarkdidgo，AndproposedhimtodecapitatetheinnocentPIO。
　　"Whathevercanbeeasier，"saidthisClerk——thisManofSin，"WhenyouarecalledtohoperateonHisHoliness’schin，Thanjusttogivetherazieralittleslip——justso？——
　　Andthere’sanend，dearbarber，ofinnocentPIO！"
　　ThewickedconversationitchancedwasovererdByanItalianlady;shehearditeveryword：
　　WhichbybirthshewasaMarchioness，inserviceforcedtogoWiththeparsonofthepreaching-shopatthegateofPopolo。
　　Whentheladyheardthenews，asdutydidobleege，AsfastasherlegscouldcarryhersherantothePoleege。
　　"OPolegia，"saysshe（fortheypronountsitso），"They’regoingfortomassykerourHolyPOPEPIO。
　　"TheebomminableEnglishmen，theParsingandhisClark，HisHoliness’sAir-dresserdeviseditinthedark！
　　AndIwouldrecommendyouinprisonfortothrowThesevillianswouldesassinatetheHolyPOPEPIO？
　　"AndforsavingofHisHolinessandhistrebblecrowndIhumblyhopeyourWorshipswillgivemeafewpound;
　　BecauseIwasaMarchionessmanyyearsago，BeforeIcametoserviceatthegateofPopolo。"
　　ThatsackreligiousAir-dresser，theParsonandhismanWouldn’t，thoughask’dcontinyally，owntheirwickedplan——
　　AndsothekindAuthoratiesletthosevilliansgoThatwasplottingofthemurderofthegoodPIONONO。
　　Nowisn’tthissafishntproof，yegentlemenathome，HowwickedisthemProdestants，andhowgoodourPopeatRome？
　　SoletusdrinkconfusiontoLORDJOHNandLORDMINTO，AndahealthuntoHisEminence，andgoodPIONONO。
　　THELAMENTABLEBALLADOFTHEFOUNDLINGOFSHOREDITCH。
　　ComeallyeChristianpeople，andlistentomytail，Itisallaboutadoctorwastravellingbytherail，BytheHeasternCounties’Railway（vichthesharesIdon’tdesire），FromIxworthtowninSuffolk，vichhisnamedidnottranspire。
　　AtravellingfromBurythisDoctorwasemployedWithagentleman，afriendofhis，vichhisnamewasCaptainLoyd，AndonreachingMarksTeyStation，thatisnextbeyondColchest-
　　er，aladyenteredintothemmostelegantlydressed。
　　SheenteredintotheCarriageallwithatotteringstep，AndapootylittleBaybyuponherbussumslep;
　　Thegentlemenreceivedherwithkindnessandsiwillaty，Pityingthisladyforherillnessanddebillaty。
　　Shehadafust-classticket，thislovelyladysaid，Becauseitwassolonesomeshetookaseckndinstead。
　　Bettertotravelbyseckndclass，thansitaloneinthefust，AndthepootylittleBabyuponherbreastshenust。
　　Aseeinofhercryin，andshiverinandpail，Toherspokethissurging，theEroofmytail;
　　Sayseeyoulookunwell，Ma’am，I’llelpyouifIcan，Andyoumaytellyoureasetome，forI’mameddicleman。
　　"Thankyou，Sir，"theladysaid，"Ionlylooksopale，BecauseIain’taccustom’dtotravellingontheRale;
　　Ishallbebetterpresnly，whenI’veadsomerest："
　　AndthatpootylittleBabyshesqueegedittoherbreast。
　　Sointheconwersationthejourneytheybeguiled，CaptingLoydandthemeddicleman，andtheladyandthechild，Tillthewariousstationsalongthelinewaspassed，ForeventheHeasternCounties’trainsmustcomeinatlast。
　　WhenatShoreditchtumminusatlenthstoppedthetrain，Thiskindmeddiclegentlemanproposedhisaidagain。
　　"Thankyou，Sir，"theladysaid，"foryourkyindnessdear;
　　Mycarridgeandmyossesisprobibblycomehere。
　　"Willyouoldthisbaby，please，vilstIstepandsee？"
　　TheDoctorwasafamlyman："ThatIwill，"sayshe。
　　Thenthelittlechildshekist，kistitverygently，Vichwassuckinghislittlefist，sleepinginnocently。
　　Withasighfromherart，asthoughshewouldhavebustit，ThenshegavetheDoctorthechild——werykindhenustit：
　　Hupthentheladyjumpedhoffthebenchshesatfrom，Tumbleddownthecarridgestepsandranalongtheplatform。
　　Vilehalltheotherpassengersventupontheirvays，TheCaptingandtheDoctorsatthereinamaze;
　　SomeventinaHomminibus，someventinaCabby，TheCaptingandtheDoctorvaitedviththebabby。
　　Theretheysatlookingqueer，foranhourormore，Buttheirfellerpassingerneatheron’emsore：
　　Never，neverbackagaindidthatladycomeTothatpootysleepingHinfntasuckinofhisThum！
　　WhatcouldthisporeDoctordo，beintreatedthus，WhenthedarlingBabywoke，cryinforitsnuss？
　　Offhedrovetoafemalefriend，vichshewasbothkindandmild，Andigsplainedtoherthecircumstanceofthisyearlittlechild。
　　Thatkindladytookthechildinstantlyinherlap，Andmadeitverycomfortablebygivingitsomepap;
　　Andwhenshetookitscloseoff，whatd’youthinkshefound？
　　Acoupleoftenpunnotessewnup，initslittlegownd！
　　Alsoinitslittleclose，wasanotewhichdidconweyThatthislittlebaby’sparentslivedinahandsomewayAndforhisHeaducationtheyreglarlywouldpay，Andsirtinglylikegentlefolkswouldclaimthechildoneday，IftheChristianpeoplewho’dchargeofitwouldsay，PeradwertisementinTheTimeswherethebabylay。
　　Pityofthisbaybymanypeopletook，Ithadsuchpootywaysandsuchapootylook;
　　Andtherecamealadyforrard（IwishthatIcouldseeAnykindladyaswoulddoasmuchforme;
　　AndIwishwithallmyart，somenightinMYnightgownd，Icouldfindanotestitchedfortenortwentypound）——
　　Therecamealadyforrard，thatmosthonorabledidsay，She’dadoptthislittlebaby，whichherparentscastaway。
　　WhiletheDoctorponderedonthishofferfair，ComesaletterfromDevonshire，fromapartythere，HorderingtheDoctor，atitsMar’sdesire，TosendthelittleInfantbacktoDevonshire。
　　Lostinapoplexity，thisporemeddicleman，Likeasensablegentleman，totheJusticeran;
　　WhichhisnamewasMr。Hammill，ahonorablebeak，ThattakeshisseatinWorshipStreet，fourtimesaweek。
　　"OJustice！"saystheDoctor，"instrugtmewhattodo。
　　I’vecomeupfromthecountry，tothrowmyselfonyou;
　　Mypatientshavenodoctortotendthemintheirills，（TheretheyareinSuffolkwithouttheirdraftsandpills！）
　　"I’vecomeupfromthecountry，toknowhowI’lldisposeOfthisporelittlebaby，andthetwentypunnote，andtheclose，AndIwanttogobacktoSuffolk，dearJustice，ifyouplease，AndmypatientswantstheirDoctor，andtheirDoctorwantshisfeez。"
　　UpspokeMr。Hammill，sittinathisdesk，"Thisyearapplicationdoesmemuchperplesk;
　　WhatIdoadwiseyou，istoleavethisbabbyIntheParishwhereitwasleft，byitsmothershabby。"
　　TheDoctorfromhisworshipsadlydiddepart——
　　Hemighthaveleftthebaby，buthehadn’tgottheheartTogofortoleavethatHinnocent，hasthelawallows，TothetendermussiesoftheUnionHouse。
　　Mother，wholeftthislittleoneonastranger’sknee，Thinkhowcruelyouhavebeen，andhowgoodwashe！
　　Think，ifyou’vebeenguilty，innocentwasshe;
　　Anddonottakeunkindlythislittlewordofme：
　　Heavenbemercifultousall，sinnersaswebe！
　　THEORGAN-BOY’SAPPEAL。
　　"WESTMINSTERPOLICECOURT。——PolicemanXbroughtapaperofdoggerelversestotheMAGISTRATE，whichhadbeenthrustintohishands，X
　　said，byanItalianboy，whoranawayimmediatelyafterwards。
　　"TheMAGISTRATE，afterperusingthelines，lookedhardatX，andsaidhedidnotthinktheywerewrittenbyanItalian。
　　"X，blushing，saidhethoughtthepaperreadinCourtlastweek，andwhichfrightenedsotheoldgentlemantowhomitwasaddressed，wasalsonotofItalianorigin。"
　　OSIGNORBRODERIP，youareawickidoleman，Youwexisuslittlehorgin-boyswheneveryoucan：
　　HowdareyoutalkofJustice，andgofortoseekTopussicuteushorgin-boys，yousenguinaryBeek？
　　ThoughyousetinVestminstersurroundedbyyourcrushers，HarrogintandhabsoluteliketheHortocratofhalltheRushers，YetthereisabettervurldI’dhaveyoufortoknow，Likewiseaplaceverethehenimiesofhorgin-boyswillgo。
　　OyouvickidHERODwithoutanypity！
　　Londonvithouthorgin-boysvoodbeadismalcity。
　　SweetSAINTCICILYwhofirsttaughthorgin-pipestoblow，SoftentheheartofthisMagistritthathaggerywatesusso！
　　GoodItaliangentlemen，fatherlyandkind，BringsusovertoLondonhereourhorginsfortogrind;
　　Sendsusoutvithlittlevitemiceandguinea-pigsalsoApoppingoftheVeaselandaJumpinofJIMCROW。
　　Andasusyounghorgin-boysisgratefulinourturnWegivestothesekindgentlemenhallthemoneyweearn，BecausethattheyvoodvopupaswerywelweknowUnlesswebroughtourhurningsbacktothemaslovesusso。
　　OMR。BRODERIP！werymuchI’msurprise，Venyoutakeyourvalksabroadwherecanbeyoureyes？
　　IfaBeakhadaheartthenyou’dcompryendUsporelittlehorgin-boyswasthepoorman’sfriend。
　　Don’tyouseetheshildreninthedroring-roomsClappingoftheirlittleandswhentheyyearourtoons？
　　Ontheirmothers’bussumsdon’tyouseethebabbiescrowAnddowntousdearhorgin-boyslotsofapencethrow？
　　Don’tyouseetheousemaids（pootyPOLLIESandMARIES），Venvebringoururdigurdis，smilingfromthehairies？
　　Thentheycomeoutvithasliceo’colepuddnorabito’baconorsoAndgiveitusyounghorgin-boysforlunchaforewego。
　　HaveyoueverseentheHirishchildrensportWhenourvelcomemusic-boxbringssunshineintheCourt？
　　TotheselittlepauperswhocanneverpaySurelyallgoodhorgin-boys，forGOD’Slove，willplay。
　　Hasforthoseproudgentlemen，likeasertingB——k（VichIvon’tbepussonalandthereforevilnotspeak），Thatflingstheirparler-vindershupvonvebegintoplayAndcussesusandswearsatusinsuchawiolentway，InsteddoftheirabewsingandcallinghoutPoleeceLetemsendoutJOHNtousvithsix-penceorashillinapiece。
　　Thenlikegoodyounghorgin-boysavayfromtherewe’llgo，BlessingsweetSAINTCICILYthattaughtourpipestoblow。
　　LITTLEBILLEE。*
　　Air——"Ilyavaitunpetitnavire。"
　　TherewerethreesailorsofBristolcityWhotookaboatandwenttosea。
　　Butfirstwithbeefandcaptain’sbiscuitsAndpickledporktheyloadedshe。
　　TherewasgorgingJackandguzzlingJimmy，AndtheyoungesthewaslittleBillee。
　　NowwhentheygotasfarastheEquatorThey’dnothingleftbutonesplitpea。
　　SaysgorgingJacktoguzzlingJimmy，"Iamextremelyhungaree。"
　　TogorgingJacksaysguzzlingJimmy，"We’venothingleft，usmusteatwe。"
　　SaysgorgingJacktoguzzlingJimmy，"Withoneanotherweshouldn’tagree！
　　There’slittleBill，he’syoungandtender，We’reoldandtough，solet’seathe。
　　"Oh！Billy，we’regoingtokillandeatyou，Soundothebuttonofyourchemie。"
　　WhenBillreceivedthisinformationHeusedhispockethandkerchie。
　　"Firstletmesaymycatechism，Whichmypoormamytaughttome。"
　　"Makehaste，makehaste，"saysguzzlingJimmy，WhileJackpulledouthissnickersnee。
　　SoBillywentuptothemain-topgallantmast，Anddownhefellonhisbendedknee。
　　HescarcehadcometothetwelfthcommandmentWhenuphejumps。"There’slandIsee：
　　"JerusalemandMadagascar，AndNorthandSouthAmerikee：
　　There’stheBritishflagaridingatanchor，WithAdmiralNapier，K。C。B。"
　　SowhentheygotaboardoftheAdmiral’sHehangedfatJackandfloggedJimmee;
　　ButasforlittleBillhemadehimTheCaptainofaSeventy-three。
　　*Asdifferentversionsofthispopularsonghavebeensettomusicandsung，noapologyisneededfortheinsertioninthesepagesofwhatisconsideredtobethecorrectversion。
　　THEENDOFTHEPLAY。
　　Theplayisdone;thecurtaindrops，Slowfallingtotheprompter’sbell：
　　Amomentyettheactorstops，Andlooksaround，tosayfarewell。
　　Itisanirksomewordandtask;
　　And，whenhe’slaughedandsaidhissay，Heshows，asheremovesthemask，Afacethat’sanythingbutgay。
　　Oneword，ereyettheeveningends，Let’scloseitwithapartingrhyme，Andpledgeahandtoallyoungfriends，AsfitsthemerryChristmastime。*
　　Onlife’swidesceneyou，too，haveparts，ThatFateerelongshallbidyouplay;
　　Goodnight！withhonestgentleheartsAkindlygreetinggoalway！
　　Goodnight——I’dsay，thegriefs，thejoys，Justhintedinthismimicpage，Thetriumphsanddefeatsofboys，Arebutrepeatedinourage。
　　I’dsay，yourwoeswerenotlesskeen，Yourhopesmorevainthanthoseofmen;
　　YourpangsorpleasuresoffifteenAtforty-fiveplayedo’eragain。
　　I’dsay，wesufferandwestrive，Notlessnormoreasmen，thanboys;
　　Withgrizzledbeardsatforty-five，Aserstattwelveincorduroys。
　　Andif，intimeofsacredyouth，Welearnedathometoloveandpray，PrayHeaventhatearlyLoveandTruthMayneverwhollypassaway。
　　Andintheworld，asintheschool，I’dsay，howfatemaychangeandshift;
　　Theprizebesometimeswiththefool，Theracenotalwaystotheswift。
　　Thestrongmayyield，thegoodmayfall，Thegreatmanbeavulgarclown，Theknavebeliftedoverall，Thekindcastpitilesslydown。
　　Whoknowstheinscrutabledesign？
　　BlessedbeHewhotookandgave！
　　Whyshouldyourmother，Charles，notmine，Beweepingatherdarling’sgrave？**
　　WebowtoHeaventhatwill’ditso，Thatdarklyrulesthefateofall，Thatsendstherespiteortheblow，That’sfreetogive，ortorecall。
　　Thiscrownshisfeastwithwineandwit：
　　Whobroughthimtothatmirthandstate？
　　Hisbetters，see，belowhimsit，Orhungerhopelessatthegate。
　　WhobadethemudfromDives’wheelTospurntheragsofLazarus？
　　Come，brother，inthatdustwe’llkneel，ConfessingHeaventhatruleditthus。
　　Soeachshallmourn，inlife’sadvance，Dearhopes，dearfriends，untimelykilled;
　　Shallgrieveformanyaforfeitchance，Andlongingpassionunfulfilled。
　　Amen！whateverfatebesent，PrayGodtheheartmaykindlyglow，Althoughtheheadwithcaresbebent，Andwhitenedwiththewintersnow。
　　Comewealthorwant，comegoodorill，Letyoungandoldaccepttheirpart，AndbowbeforetheAwfulWill，Andbearitwithanhonestheart，Whomissesorwhowinstheprize。
　　Go，loseorconquerasyoucan;
　　Butifyoufail，orifyourise，Beeach，prayGod，agentleman。
　　Agentleman，oroldoryoung！
　　（Bearkindlywithmyhumblelays）;
　　ThesacredchorusfirstwassungUponthefirstofChristmasdays：
　　Theshepherdshearditoverhead——
　　Thejoyfulangelsraiseditthen：
　　GlorytoHeavenonhigh，itsaid，Andpeaceonearthtogentlemen。
　　Mysong，savethis，islittleworth;
　　Ilaythewearypenaside，Andwishyouhealth，andlove，andmirth，AsfitsthesolemnChristmas-tide。
　　AsfitstheholyChristmasbirth，Bethis，goodfriends，ourcarolstill——
　　Bepeaceonearth，bepeaceonearth，Tomenofgentlewill。
　　*TheseverseswereprintedattheendofaChristmasBook（1848-
　　9），"Dr。BirchandhisYoungFriends。"
　　**C。Bob。29thNovember，1848。aet。42。
　　VANITASVANITATUM。
　　HowspakeofoldtheRoyalSeer？
　　（HistextisoneIlovetotreaton。）
　　ThislifeofourshesaidissheerMataiotesMataioteton。
　　OStudentofthisgildedBook，Declare，whilemusingonitspages，IftruerwordswereeverspokeByancient，orbymodernsages！
　　Thevariousauthors’namesbutnote，*
　　French，Spanish，English，Russians，Germans：
　　Andinthevolumepolyglot，Sureyoumayreadahundredsermons！
　　Whathistoriesoflifearehere，Morewildthanallromancers’stories;
　　Whatwondroustransformationsqueer，Whathomiliesonhumanglories！
　　Whatthemeforsorroworforscorn！
　　WhatchronicleofFate’ssurprises——
　　Ofadversefortunenoblyborne，Ofchances，changes，ruins，rises！
　　Ofthronesupset，andsceptresbroke，Howstrangearecordhereiswritten！
　　Ofhonors，dealtasifinjoke;
　　Ofbravedesertunkindlysmitten。
　　Howlowmenwere，andhowtheyrise！
　　Howhightheywere，andhowtheytumble！
　　Ovanityofvanities！
　　Olaughable，patheticjumble！
　　HerebetweenhonestJanin’sjokeAndhisTurkExcellency’sfirman，Iwritemynameuponthebook：
　　Iwritemyname——andendmysermon。
　　——————————
　　OVanityofvanities！
　　HowwaywardthedecreesofFateare;
　　Howveryweaktheverywise，Howverysmalltheverygreatare！
　　Whatmeanthesestalemoralities，SirPreacher，fromyourdeskyoumumble？
　　Whyrailagainstthegreatandwise，Andtireuswithyourceaselessgrumble？
　　Praychooseusoutanothertext，Omanmoroseandnarrow-minded！
　　Cometurnthepage——Ireadthenext，Andthenthenext，andstillIfindit。
　　ReadherehowWealthasidewasthrust，AndFollysetinplaceexalted;
　　HowPrincesfootedinthedust，Whilelackeysinthesaddlevaulted。
　　Thoughthriceathousandyearsarepast，SinceDavid’sson，thesadandsplendid，ThewearyKingEcclesiast，Uponhisawfultabletspennedit，——
　　Methinksthetextisneverstale，AndlifeiseverydayrenewingFreshcommentsontheoldoldtaleOfFolly，Fortune，Glory，Ruin。
　　HarktothePreacher，preachingstillHeliftshisvoiceandcrieshissermon，HereatSt。Peter’sofCornhill，AsyonderontheMountofHermon;
　　Foryouandmetohearttotake（Odearbelovedbrotherreaders）
　　To-dayaswhenthegoodKingspakeBeneaththesolemnSyriancedars。
　　*BetweenapagebyJulesJanin，andapoembytheTurkishAmbassador，inMadamedeR————’salbum，containingtheautographsofkings，princes，poets，marshals，musicians，diplomatists，statesmen，artists，andmenoflettersofallnations。