首页 >出版文学> Some Reminiscences>第4章
  WhatImeanttosay,simply,isthatthequarter-decktrainingdoesnotprepareonesufficientlyforthereceptionofliterarycriticism。Onlythat,andnomore。Butthisdefectisnotwithoutgravity。Ifitbepermissibletotwist,invert,adapt(andspoil)M。AnatoleFrance’sdefinitionofagoodcritic,thenletussaythatthegoodauthorishewhocontemplateswithoutmarkedjoyorexcessivesorrowtheadventuresofhissoulamongstcriticisms。Farbefrommetheintentiontomisleadanattentivepublicintothebeliefthatthereisnocriticismatsea。Thatwouldbedishonest,andevenimpolite。Everythingcanbefoundatsea,accordingtothespiritofyourquest——strife,peace,romance,naturalismofthemostpronouncedkind,ideals,boredom,disgust,inspiration——andeveryconceivableopportunity,includingtheopportunitytomakeafoolofyourself——exactlyasinthepursuitofliterature。Butthequarter-deckcriticismissomewhatdifferentfromliterarycriticism。Thismuchtheyhaveincommon,thatbeforetheoneandtheothertheansweringback,asageneralrule,doesnotpay。
  Yes,youfindcriticismatsea,andevenappreciation——Itellyoueverythingistobefoundonsaltwater——criticismgenerallyimpromptu,andalwaysvivavoce,whichistheoutward,obviousdifferencefromtheliteraryoperationofthatkind,withconsequentfreshnessandvigourwhichmaybelackingintheprintedword。Withappreciation,whichcomesattheend,whenthecriticandthecriticisedareabouttopart,itisotherwise。
  Theseaappreciationofone’shumbletalentshasthepermanencyofthewrittenword,seldomthecharmofvariety,isformalinitsphrasing。Theretheliterarymasterhasthesuperiority,thoughhe,too,canineffectbutsay——andoftensaysitintheveryphrase——"Icanhighlyrecommend。"Onlyusuallyheusestheword"We,"therebeingsomeoccultvirtueinthefirstpersonplural,whichmakesitspeciallyfitforcriticalandroyaldeclarations。Ihaveasmallhandfuloftheseseaappreciations,signedbyvariousmasters,yellowingslowlyinmywriting-table’sleft-handdrawer,rustlingundermyreverenttouch,likeahandfulofdryleavespluckedforatendermementofromthetreeofknowledge。Strange!Itseemsthatitisforthesefewbitsofpaper,headedbythenamesofafewshipsandsignedbythenamesofafewScotsandEnglishshipmasters,thatIhavefacedtheastonishedindignations,themockeriesandthereproachesofasorthardtobearforaboyoffifteen;thatIhavebeenchargedwiththewantofpatriotism,thewantofsense,andthewantofhearttoo;thatIwentthroughagoniesofself-conflictandshedsecrettearsnotafew,andhadthebeautiesoftheFurcaPassspoiledforme,andhavebeencalledan"incorrigibleDonQuixote,"inallusiontothebook-bornmadnessoftheknight。
  Forthatspoil!Theyrustle,thosebitsofpaper——somedozenoftheminall。Inthatfaint,ghostlysoundtherelivethememoriesoftwentyyears,thevoicesofroughmennownomore,thestrongvoiceoftheeverlastingwinds,andthewhisperofamysteriousspell,themurmurofthegreatsea,whichmusthavesomehowreachedmyinlandcradleandenteredmyunconsciousear,likethatformulaofMohammedanfaiththeMussulmanfatherwhispersintotheearofhisnew-borninfant,makinghimoneofthefaithfulalmostwithhisfirstbreath。IdonotknowwhetherIhavebeenagoodseaman,butIknowIhavebeenaveryfaithfulone。Andafterallthereisthathandfulof"characters"fromvariousshipstoprovethatalltheseyearshavenotbeenaltogetheradream。Theretheyare,brief,andmonotonousintone,butassuggestivebitsofwritingtomeasanyinspiredpagetobefoundinliterature。Butthen,yousee,Ihavebeencalledromantic。Well,thatcan’tbehelped。Butstay。IseemtorememberthatIhavebeencalledarealistalso。Andasthatchargetoocanbemadeout,letustrytoliveuptoit,atwhatevercost,forachange。Withthisendinview,Iwillconfidetoyoucoyly,andonlybecausethereisnooneabouttoseemyblushesbythelightofthemidnightlamp,thatthesesuggestivebitsofquarter-deckappreciationoneandallcontainthewords"strictlysober。"
  DidIoverhearacivilmurmur,"That’sverygratifying,tobesure"?Well,yes,itisgratifying——thankyou。Itisatleastasgratifyingtobecertifiedsoberastobecertifiedromantic,thoughsuchcertificateswouldnotqualifyoneforthesecretaryshipofatemperanceassociationorforthepostofofficialtroubadourtosomelordlydemocraticinstitutionsuchastheLondonCountyCouncil,forinstance。Theaboveprosaicreflectionisputdownhereonlyinordertoprovethegeneralsobrietyofmyjudgmentinmundaneaffairs。Imakeapointofitbecauseacoupleofyearsago,acertainshortstoryofminebeingpublishedinaFrenchtranslation,aParisiancritic——IamalmostcertainitwasM。GustaveKahninthe"Gil-Blas"——givingmeashortnotice,summeduphisrapidimpressionofthewriter’squalityinthewordsunpuissantreveur。Sobeit!Whowouldcavilatthewordsofafriendlyreader?Yetperhapsnotsuchanunconditionaldreamerasallthat。IwillmakeboldtosaythatneitheratseanorashorehaveIeverlostthesenseofresponsibility。Thereismorethanonesortofintoxication。
  EvenbeforethemostseductivereveriesIhaveremainedmindfulofthatsobrietyofinteriorlife,thatasceticismofsentiment,inwhichalonethenakedformoftruth,suchasoneconceivesit,suchasonefeelsit,canberenderedwithoutshame。Itisbutamaudlinandindecentveritythatcomesoutthroughthestrengthofwine。Ihavetriedtobeasoberworkerallmylife——allmytwolives。Ididsofromtaste,nodoubt,havinganinstinctivehorroroflosingmysenseoffullself-possession,butalsofromartisticconviction。Yettherearesomanypitfallsoneachsideofthetruepaththat,havinggonesomeway,andfeelingalittlebatteredandweary,asamiddle-agedtravellerwillfromthemeredailydifficultiesofthemarch,IaskmyselfwhetherIhavekeptalways,alwaysfaithfultothatsobrietywhereinthereispower,andtruth,andpeace。
  Astomysea-sobriety,thatisquiteproperlycertifiedunderthesign-manualofseveraltrustworthyshipmastersofsomestandingintheirtime。Iseemtohearyourpolitemurmurthat"Surelythismighthavebeentakenforgranted。"Well,no。Itmightnothavebeen。ThataugustacademicalbodytheMarineDepartmentoftheBoardofTradetakesnothingforgrantedinthegrantingofitslearneddegrees。ByitsregulationsissuedunderthefirstMerchantShippingAct,theverywordSOBERmustbewritten,orawholesackful,aton,amountainofthemostenthusiasticappreciationwillavailyounothing。Thedooroftheexaminationroomsshallremainclosedtoyourtearsandentreaties。ThemostfanaticaladvocateoftemperancecouldnotbemorepitilesslyfierceinhisrectitudethantheMarineDepartmentoftheBoardofTrade。AsIhavebeenfacetofaceatvarioustimeswithalltheexaminersofthePortofLondon,inmygeneration,therecanbenodoubtastotheforceandthecontinuityofmyabstemiousness。Threeofthemwereexaminersinseamanship,anditwasmyfatetobedeliveredintothehandsofeachofthematproperintervalsofseaservice。Thefirstofall,tall,spare,withaperfectlywhiteheadandmoustache,aquiet,kindlymanner,andanairofbenignintelligence,must,Iamforcedtoconclude,havebeenunfavourablyimpressedbysomethinginmyappearance。Hisoldthinhandslooselyclaspedrestingonhiscrossedlegs,hebeganbyanelementaryquestioninamildvoice,andwenton,wenton……Itlastedforhours,forhours。HadI
  beenastrangemicrobewithpotentialitiesofdeadlymischieftotheMerchantServiceIcouldnothavebeensubmittedtoamoremicroscopicexamination。Greatlyreassuredbyhisapparentbenevolence,Ihadbeenatfirstveryalertinmyanswers。Butatlengththefeelingofmybraingettingaddledcreptuponme。
  Andstillthepassionlessprocesswenton,withasenseofuntoldageshavingbeenspentalreadyonmerepreliminaries。ThenIgotfrightened。Iwasnotfrightenedofbeingplucked;thateventualitydidnotevenpresentitselftomymind。Itwassomethingmuchmoreserious,andweird。"Thisancientperson,"I
  saidtomyself,terrified,"issonearhisgravethathemusthavelostallnotionoftime。Heisconsideringthisexaminationintermsofeternity。Itisallverywellforhim。Hisraceisrun。ButImayfindmyselfcomingoutofthisroomintotheworldofmenastranger,friendless,forgottenbymyverylandlady,evenwereIableafterthisendlessexperiencetorememberthewaytomyhiredhome。"Thisstatementisnotsomuchofaverbalexaggerationasmaybesupposed。SomeveryqueerthoughtspassedthroughmyheadwhileIwasconsideringmyanswers;thoughtswhichhadnothingtodowithseamanship,noryetwithanythingreasonableknowntothisearth。IverilybelievethatattimesIwaslightheadedinasortoflanguidway。
  Atlasttherefellasilence,andthat,too,seemedtolastforages,while,bendingoverhisdesk,theexaminerwroteoutmypass-slipslowlywithanoiselesspen。Heextendedthescrapofpapertomewithoutaword,inclinedhiswhiteheadgravelytomypartingbow……
  WhenIgotoutoftheroomIfeltlimplyflat,likeasqueezedlemon,andthedoor-keeperinhisglasscage,whereIstoppedtogetmyhatandtiphimashilling,said:
  "Well!Ithoughtyouwerenevercomingout。"
  "HowlonghaveIbeeninthere?"Iaskedfaintly。
  Hepulledouthiswatch。
  "Hekeptyou,sir,justunderthreehours。Idon’tthinkthiseverhappenedwithanyofthegentlemenbefore。"
  ItwasonlywhenIgotoutofthebuildingthatIbegantowalkonair。Andthehumananimalbeingaversefromchangeandtimidbeforetheunknown,IsaidtomyselfthatIwouldnotmindreallybeingexaminedbythesamemanonafutureoccasion。Butwhenthetimeofordealcameroundagainthedoorkeeperletmeintoanotherroom,withthenowfamiliarparaphernaliaofmodelsofshipsandtackle,aboardforsignalsonthewall,abiglongtablecoveredwithofficialforms,andhavinganunriggedmastfixedtotheedge。Thesolitarytenantwasunknowntomebysight,thoughnotbyreputation,whichwassimplyexecrable。
  ShortandsturdyasfarasIcouldjudge,cladinanold,brown,morning-suit,hesatleaningonhiselbow,hishandshadinghiseyes,andhalfavertedfromthechairIwastooccupyontheothersideofthetable。Hewasmotionless,mysterious,remote,enigmatical,withsomethingmournfultoointhepose,likethatstatueofGiuliano(Ithink)de’MedicishadinghisfaceonthetombbyMichaelAngelo,though,ofcourse,hewasfar,farfrombeingbeautiful。Hebeganbytryingtomakemetalknonsense。
  ButIhadbeenwarnedofthatfiendishtrait,andcontradictedhimwithgreatassurance。Afterawhileheleftoff。Sofargood。Buthisimmobility,thethickelbowonthetable,theabrupt,unhappyvoice,theshadedandavertedfacegrewmoreandmoreimpressive。Hekeptinscrutablysilentforamoment,andthen,placingmeinashipofacertainsize,atsea,undercertainconditionsofweather,season,locality,&c。&c。——allveryclearandprecise——orderedmetoexecuteacertainmanoeuvre。BeforeIwashalfthroughwithithedidsomematerialdamagetotheship。DirectlyIhadgrappledwiththedifficultyhecausedanothertopresentitself,andwhenthattoowasmethestuckanothershipbeforeme,creatingaverydangeroussituation。Ifeltslightlyoutragedbythisingenuityinpilinguptroubleuponaman。
  "Iwouldn’thavegotintothatmess,"Isuggestedmildly。"I
  couldhaveseenthatshipbefore。"
  Heneverstirredtheleastbit。
  "No,youcouldn’t。Theweather’sthick。"
  "Oh!Ididn’tknow,"Iapologisedblankly。
  IsupposethatafterallImanagedtostaveoffthesmashwithsufficientapproachtoverisimilitude,andtheghastlybusinesswenton。Youmustunderstandthattheschemeofthetesthewasapplyingtomewas,Igathered,ahomewardpassage——thesortofpassageIwouldnotwishtomybitterestenemy。Thatimaginaryshipseemedtolabourunderamostcomprehensivecurse。It’snouseenlargingonthesenever-endingmisfortunes;sufficeittosaythatlongbeforetheendIwouldhavewelcomedwithgratitudeanopportunitytoexchangeintothe"FlyingDutchman。"FinallyheshovedmeintotheNorthSea(Isuppose)andprovidedmewithalee-shorewithoutlyingsandbanks——theDutchcoastpresumably。
  Distance,eightmiles。Theevidenceofsuchimplacableanimositydeprivedmeofspeechforquitehalfaminute。
  "Well,"hesaid——forourpacehadbeenverysmartindeedtillthen。
  "Iwillhavetothinkalittle,sir。"
  "Doesn’tlookasifthereweremuchtimetothink,"hemutteredsardonicallyfromunderhishand。
  "No,sir,"Isaidwithsomewarmth。"NotonboardashipIcouldsee。ButsomanyaccidentshavehappenedthatIreallycan’trememberwhatthere’sleftformetoworkwith。"
  Stillhalfaverted,andwithhiseyesconcealed,hemadeunexpectedlyagruntingremark。
  "You’vedoneverywell。"
  "HaveIthetwoanchorsatthebow,sir?"Iasked。
  "Yes。"
  Ipreparedmyselfthen,asalasthopefortheship,toletthembothgointhemosteffectualmanner,whenhisinfernalsystemoftestingresourcefulnesscameintoplayagain。
  "Butthere’sonlyonecable。You’velosttheother。"
  Itwasexasperating。
  "ThenIwouldbackthem,ifIcould,andtailtheheaviesthawseronboardontheendofthechainbeforelettinggo,andifshepartedfromthat,whichisquitelikely,Iwouldjustdonothing。
  Shewouldhavetogo。"
  "Nothingmoretodo,eh?"
  "No,sir。Icoulddonomore。"
  Hegaveabitterhalf-laugh。
  "Youcouldalwayssayyourprayers。"
  Hegotup,stretchedhimself,andyawnedslightly。Itwasasallow,strong,unamiableface。Heputmeinasurly,boredfashionthroughtheusualquestionsastolightsandsignals,andIescapedfromtheroomthankfully——passed!Fortyminutes!AndagainIwalkedonairalongTowerHill,wheresomanygoodmenhadlosttheirheads,because,Isuppose,theywerenotresourcefulenoughtosavethem。AndinmyheartofheartsIhadnoobjectiontomeetingthatexamineroncemorewhenthethirdandlastordealbecamedueinanotheryearorso。IevenhopedI
  should。Iknewtheworstofhimnow,andfortyminutesisnotanunreasonabletime。Yes,Idistinctlyhoped……
  Butnotabitofit。WhenIpresentedmyselftobeexaminedforMastertheexaminerwhoreceivedmewasshort,plump,witharound,softfaceingrey,fluffywhiskers,andfresh,loquaciouslips。
  Hecommencedoperationswithaneasy-going"Let’ssee。H’m。
  Supposeyoutellmeallyouknowofcharter-parties。"Hekeptitupinthatstyleallthrough,wanderingoffintheshapeofcommentintobitsoutofhisownlife,thenpullinghimselfupshortandreturningtothebusinessinhand。Itwasveryinteresting。"What’syourideaofajury-ruddernow?"hequeriedsuddenly,attheendofaninstructiveanecdotebearinguponapointofstowage。
  IwarnedhimthatIhadnoexperienceofalostrudderatsea,andgavehimtwoclassicalexamplesofmakeshiftsoutofatext-
  book。Inexchangehedescribedtomeajury-rudderhehadinventedhimselfyearsbefore,whenincommandofa3000-tonsteamer。Itwas,Ideclare,thecleverestcontrivanceimaginable。"Maybeofusetoyousomeday,"heconcluded。"Youwillgointosteampresently。Everybodygoesintosteam。"
  Therehewaswrong。Ineverwentintosteam——notreally。IfI
  onlylivelongenoughIshallbecomeabizarrerelicofadeadbarbarism,asortofmonstrousantiquity,theonlyseamanofthedarkageswhohadnevergoneintosteam——notreally。
  BeforetheexaminationwasoverheimpartedtomeafewinterestingdetailsofthetransportserviceinthetimeoftheCrimeanWar。
  "Theuseofwireriggingbecamegeneralaboutthattimetoo,"heobserved。"Iwasaveryyoungmasterthen。Thatwasbeforeyouwereborn。"
  "Yes,sir。Iamoftheyear1857。"
  "TheMutinyyear,"hecommented,asiftohimself,addinginaloudertonethathisshiphappenedthentobeintheGulfofBengal,employedunderaGovernmentcharter。
  Clearlythetransportservicehadbeenthemakingofthisexaminer,whosounexpectedlyhadgivenmeaninsightintohisexistence,awakeninginmethesenseofthecontinuityofthatsea-lifeintowhichIhadsteppedfromoutside;givingatouchofhumanintimacytothemachineryofofficialrelations。Ifeltadopted。Hisexperiencewasforme,too,asthoughhehadbeenanancestor。
  Writingmylongname(ithastwelveletters)withlaboriouscareontheslipofbluepaper,heremarked:
  "YouareofPolishextraction。"
  "Bornthere,sir。"
  Helaiddownthepenandleanedbacktolookatmeasitwereforthefirsttime。
  "Notmanyofyournationalityinourservice,Ishouldthink。I
  neverremembermeetingoneeitherbeforeorafterIleftthesea。
  Don’tremembereverhearingofone。Aninlandpeople,aren’tyou?"
  Isaidyes——verymuchso。Wewereremotefromtheseanotonlybysituation,butalsofromacompleteabsenceofindirectassociation,notbeingacommercialnationatall,butpurelyagricultural。Hemadethenthequaintreflectionthatitwas"alongwayformetocomeouttobeginasea-life";asifsea-lifewerenotpreciselyalifeinwhichonegoesalongwayfromhome。
  Itoldhim,smiling,thatnodoubtIcouldhavefoundashipmuchnearermynativeplace,butIhadthoughttomyselfthatifIwastobeaseamanthenIwouldbeaBritishseamanandnoother。Itwasamatterofdeliberatechoice。
  Henoddedslightlyatthat;andashekeptonlookingatmeinterrogatively,Ienlargedalittle,confessingthatIhadspentalittletimeonthewayintheMediterraneanandintheWestIndies。IdidnotwanttopresentmyselftotheBritishMerchantServiceinanaltogethergreenstate。Itwasnousetellinghimthatmymysteriousvocationwassostrongthatmyverywildoatshadtobesownatsea。Itwastheexacttruth,buthewouldnothaveunderstoodthesomewhatexceptionalpsychologyofmysea-
  going,Ifear。
  "Isupposeyou’venevercomeacrossoneofyourcountrymenatsea。Haveyounow?"
  IadmittedIneverhad。Theexaminerhadgivenhimselfuptothespiritofgossipingidleness。Formyself,Iwasinnohastetoleavethatroom。Notintheleast。Theeraofexaminationswasover。Iwouldneveragainseethatfriendlymanwhowasaprofessionalancestor,asortofgrandfatherinthecraft。
  Moreover,Ihadtowaittillhedismissedme,andofthattherewasnosign。Asheremainedsilent,lookingatme,Iadded:
  "ButIhaveheardofone,someyearsago。HeseemstohavebeenaboyservinghistimeonboardaLiverpoolship,ifIamnotmistaken。"
  "Whatwashisname?"
  Itoldhim。
  "Howdidyousaythat?"heasked,puckeringuphiseyesattheuncouthsound。
  Irepeatedthenameverydistinctly。
  "Howdoyouspellit?"
  Itoldhim。Hemovedhisheadattheimpracticablenatureofthatname,andobserved:
  "It’squiteaslongasyourown——isn’tit?"
  Therewasnohurry。IhadpassedforMaster,andIhadalltherestofmylifebeforemetomakethebestofit。Thatseemedalongtime。Iwentleisurelythroughasmallmentalcalculation,andsaid:
  "Notquite。Shorterbytwoletters,sir。"
  "Isit?"Theexaminerpushedthesignedblueslipacrossthetabletome,androsefromhischair。Somehowthisseemedaveryabruptendingofourrelations,andIfeltalmostsorrytopartfromthatexcellentman,whowasmasterofashipbeforethewhisperoftheseahadreachedmycradle。Heofferedmehishandandwishedmewell。Heevenmadeafewstepstowardsthedoorwithme,andendedwithgood-naturedadvice。
  "Idon’tknowwhatmaybeyourplansbutyououghttogointosteam。Whenamanhasgothismaster’scertificateit’sthepropertime。IfIwereyouIwouldgointosteam。"
  Ithankedhim,andshutthedoorbehindmedefinitelyontheeraofexaminations。ButthattimeIdidnotwalkonair,asonthefirsttwooccasions。IwalkedacrosstheHillofmanybeheadingswithmeasuredsteps。Itwasafact,Isaidtomyself,thatIwasnowaBritishmastermarinerbeyondadoubt。ItwasnotthatI
  hadanexaggeratedsenseofthatverymodestachievement,withwhich,however,luck,opportunity,oranyextraneousinfluencecouldhavehadnothingtodo。Thatfact,satisfactoryandobscureinitself,hadformeacertainidealsignificance。Itwasananswertocertainoutspokenscepticism,andeventosomenotverykindaspersions。Ihadvindicatedmyselffromwhathadbeencrieduponasastupidobstinacyorafantasticcaprice。I
  don’tmeantosaythatawholecountryhadbeenconvulsedbymydesiretogotosea。Butforaboybetweenfifteenandsixteen,sensitiveenough,inallconscience,thecommotionofhislittleworldhadseemedaveryconsiderablethingindeed。Soconsiderablethat,absurdlyenough,theechoesofitlingertothisday。Icatchmyselfinhoursofsolitudeandretrospectmeetingargumentsandchargesmadethirty-fiveyearsagobyvoicesnowforeverstill;findingthingstosaythatanassailedboycouldnothavefound,simplybecauseofthemysteriousnessofhisimpulsestohimself。Iunderstoodnomorethanthepeoplewhocalleduponmetoexplainmyself。Therewasnoprecedent。I
  verilybelieveminewastheonlycaseofaboyofmynationalityandantecedentstakinga,sotospeak,standingjumpoutofhisracialsurroundingsandassociations。Foryoumustunderstandthattherewasnoideaofanysortof"career"inmycall。OfRussiaorGermanytherecouldbenoquestion。Thenationality,theantecedents,madeitimpossible。ThefeelingagainsttheAustrianservicewasnotsostrong,andIdaresaytherewouldhavebeennodifficultyinfindingmywayintotheNavalSchoolatPola。Itwouldhavemeantsixmonths’extragrindingatGerman,perhaps,butIwasnotpasttheageofadmission,andinotherrespectsIwaswellqualified。Thisexpedienttopalliatemyfollywasthoughtof——butnotbyme。Imustadmitthatinthatrespectmynegativewasacceptedatonce。Thatorderoffeelingwascomprehensibleenoughtothemostinimicalofmycritics。Iwasnotcalledupontoofferexplanations;thetruthisthatwhatIhadinviewwasnotanavalcareer,butthesea。
  ThereseemednowayopentoitbutthroughFrance。Ihadthelanguageatanyrate,andofallthecountriesinEuropeitiswithFrancethatPolandhasmostconnection。Thereweresomefacilitiesforhavingmealittlelookedafter,atfirst。
  Letterswerebeingwritten,answerswerebeingreceived,arrangementswerebeingmadeformydepartureforMarseilles,whereanexcellentfellowcalledSolary,gotatinaroundaboutfashionthroughvariousFrenchchannels,hadpromisedgood-
  naturedlytoputlejeunehommeinthewayofgettingadecentshipforhisfirststartifhereallywantedatasteofcemetierdechien。
  Iwatchedallthesepreparationsgratefully,andkeptmyowncounsel。ButwhatItoldthelastofmyexaminerswasperfectlytrue。Alreadythedeterminedresolve,that"ifaseaman,thenanEnglishseaman,"wasformulatedinmyheadthough,ofcourse,inthePolishlanguage。IdidnotknowsixwordsofEnglish,andI
  wasastuteenoughtounderstandthatitwasmuchbettertosaynothingofmypurpose。AsitwasIwasalreadylookeduponaspartlyinsane,atleastbythemoredistantacquaintances。Theprincipalthingwastogetaway。Iputmytrustinthegood-
  naturedSolary’sverycivillettertomyuncle,thoughIwasshockedalittlebythephraseaboutthemetierdechien。
  ThisSolary(Baptistin),whenIbeheldhimintheflesh,turnedoutaquiteyoungman,verygood-looking,withafineblack,shortbeard,afreshcomplexion,andsoft,merryblackeyes。Hewasasjovialandgood-naturedasanyboycoulddesire。Iwasstillasleepinmyroominamodesthotelnearthequaysoftheoldport,afterthefatiguesofthejourneyviaVienna,Zurich,Lyons,whenheburstinflingingtheshuttersopentothesunofProvenceandchidingmeboisterouslyforlyingabed。Howpleasantlyhestartledmebyhisnoisyobjurgationstobeupandoffinstantlyfora"threeyears’campaignintheSouthSeas。"O
  magicwords!Unecampagnedetroisansdanslesmersdusud"——
  thatistheFrenchforathreeyears’deep-watervoyage。
  Hegavemeadelightfulwaking,andhisfriendlinesswasunwearied;butIfearhedidnotenteruponthequestforashipformeinaverysolemnspirit。Hehadbeenatseahimself,buthadleftoffattheageoftwenty-five,findinghecouldearnhislivingonshoreinamuchmoreagreeablemanner。HewasrelatedtoanincrediblenumberofMarseilleswell-to-dofamiliesofacertainclass。Oneofhisuncleswasaship-brokerofgoodstanding,withalargeconnectionamongstEnglishships;otherrelativesofhisdealtinships’stores,ownedsail-lofts,soldchainsandanchors,weremaster-stevedores,caulkers,shipwrights。Hisgrandfather(Ithink)wasadignitaryofakind,theSyndicofthePilots。Imadeacquaintancesamongstthesepeople,butmainlyamongstthepilots。TheveryfirstwholedayIeverspentonsaltwaterwasbyinvitation,inabighalf-deckedpilot-boat,cruisingunderclosereefsonthelook-
  out,inmisty,blowingweather,forthesailsofshipsandthesmokeofsteamersrisingoutthere,beyondtheslimandtallPlanierlighthousecuttingthelineofthewind-swepthorizonwithawhiteperpendicularstroke。Theywerehospitablesouls,thesesturdyProvencalseamen。UnderthegeneraldesignationoflepetitamideBaptistinIwasmadetheguestoftheCorporationofPilots,andhadthefreedomoftheirboatsnightorday。AndmanyadayandanighttoodidIspendcruisingwiththeserough,kindlymen,underwhoseauspicesmyintimacywiththeseabegan。
  Manyatime"thelittlefriendofBaptistin"hadthehoodedcloakoftheMediterraneansailorthrownoverhimbytheirhonesthandswhiledodgingatnightundertheleeofChateaud’Ifonthewatchforthelightsofships。Theirsea-tannedfaces,whiskeredorshaved,leanorfull,withtheintentwrinkledsea-eyesofthepilot-breed,andhereandthereathingoldhoopatthelobeofahairyear,bentovermysea-infancy。ThefirstoperationofseamanshipIhadanopportunityofobservingwastheboardingofshipsatsea,atalltimes,inallstatesoftheweather。Theygaveittometothefull。AndIhavebeeninvitedtositinmorethanonetall,darkhouseoftheoldtownattheirhospitableboard,hadthebouillabaisseladledoutintoathickplatebytheirhigh-voiced,broad-browedwives,talkedtotheirdaughters——thick-setgirls,withpureprofiles,gloriousmassesofblackhairarrangedwithcomplicatedart,darkeyes,anddazzlinglywhiteteeth。
  Ihadalsootheracquaintancesofquiteadifferentsort。Oneofthem,MadameDelestang,animperious,handsomeladyinastatuesquestyle,wouldcarrymeoffnowandthenonthefrontseatofhercarriagetothePrado,atthehouroffashionableairing。Shebelongedtooneoftheoldaristocraticfamiliesinthesouth。InherhaughtywearinesssheusedtomakemethinkofLadyDedlockinDickens’s"BleakHouse,"aworkofthemasterforwhichIhavesuchanadmiration,orrathersuchanintenseandunreasoningaffection,datingfromthedaysofmychildhood,thatitsveryweaknessesaremoreprecioustomethanthestrengthofothermen’swork。Ihavereaditinnumerabletimes,bothinPolishandinEnglish;Ihavereaditonlytheotherday,and,byanotverysurprisinginversion,theLadyDedlockofthebookremindedmestronglyofthebelleMadameDelestang。
  Herhusband(asIsatfacingthemboth),withhisthinbonynose,andaperfectlybloodless,narrowphysiognomyclampedtogetherasitwerebyshortformalside-whiskers,hadnothingofSirLeicesterDedlock’s"grandair"andcourtlysolemnity。Hebelongedtothehautebourgeoisieonly,andwasabanker,withwhomamodestcredithadbeenopenedformyneeds。Hewassuchanardent——no,suchafrozen-up,mummifiedRoyalistthatheusedincurrentconversationturnsofspeechcontemporary,Ishouldsay,withthegoodHenriQuatre;andwhentalkingofmoneymattersreckonednotinfrancs,likethecommon,godlessherdofpost-
  RevolutionaryFrenchmen,butinobsoleteandforgottenecus——ecusofallmoneyunitsintheworld!——asthoughLouisQuatorzewerestillpromenadinginroyalsplendourthegardensofVersailles,andMonsieurdeColbertbusywiththedirectionofmaritimeaffairs。Youmustadmitthatinabankerofthenineteenthcenturyitwasaquaintidiosyncrasy。Luckilyinthecounting-
  house(itoccupiedpartofthegroundflooroftheDelestangtownresidence,inasilent,shadystreet)theaccountswerekeptinmodernmoney,sothatIneverhadanydifficultyinmakingmywantsknowntothegrave,low-voiced,decorous,Legitimist(I
  suppose)clerks,sittingintheperpetualgloomofheavilybarredwindowsbehindthesombre,ancientcounters,beneathloftyceilingswithheavilymouldedcornices。IalwaysfeltongoingoutasthoughIhadbeeninthetempleofsomeverydignifiedbutcompletelytemporalreligion。AnditwasgenerallyontheseoccasionsthatunderthegreatcarriagegatewayLadyDed——ImeanMadameDelestang,catchingsightofmyraisedhat,wouldbeckonmewithanamiableimperiousnesstothesideofthecarriage,andsuggestwithanairofamusednonchalance,"Venezdoncfaireuntouravecnous,"towhichthehusbandwouldaddanencouraging"C’estca。Allons,montez,jeunehomme。"Hequestionedmesometimes,significantlybutwithperfecttactanddelicacy,astothewayIemployedmytime,andneverfailedtoexpressthehopethatIwroteregularlytomy"honoureduncle。"ImadenosecretofthewayIemployedmytime,andIratherfancythatmyartlesstalesofthepilotsandsoonentertainedMadameDelestang,sofarasthatineffablewomancouldbeentertainedbytheprattleofayoungsterveryfullofhisnewexperienceamongststrangemenandstrangesensations。Sheexpressednoopinions,andtalkedtomeverylittle;yetherportraithangsinthegalleryofmyintimatememories,fixedtherebyashortandfleetingepisode。Oneday,afterputtingmedownatthecornerofastreet,sheofferedmeherhand,anddetainedmebyaslightpressure,foramoment。Whilethehusbandsatmotionlessandlookingstraightbeforehim,sheleanedforwardinthecarriagetosay,withjustashadeofwarninginherleisurelytone:"Ilfaut,cependant,faireattentionanepasgatersavie。"Ihadneverseenherfacesoclosetominebefore。Shemademyheartbeat,andcausedmetoremainthoughtfulforawholeevening。
  Certainlyonemust,afterall,takecarenottospoilone’slife。
  Butshedidnotknow——nobodycouldknow——howimpossiblethatdangerseemedtome。
  ChapterVII。
  Canthetransportsoffirstlovebecalmed,checked,turnedtoacoldsuspicionofthefuturebyagravequotationfromaworkonPoliticalEconomy?Iask——isitconceivable?Isitpossible?
  Woulditberight?Withmyfeetontheveryshoresoftheseaandabouttoembracemyblue-eyeddream,whatcouldagood-
  naturedwarningastospoilingone’slifemeantomyyouthfulpassion?ItwasthemostunexpectedandthelasttooofthemanywarningsIhadreceived。Itsoundedtomeverybizarre——and,utteredasitwasintheverypresenceofmyenchantress,likethevoiceoffolly,thevoiceofignorance。ButIwasnotsocallousorsostupidasnottorecognisetherealsothevoiceofkindness。Andthenthevaguenessofthewarning——becausewhatcanbethemeaningofthephrase:tospoilone’slife?——arrestedone’sattentionbyitsairofwiseprofundity。Atanyrate,asI
  havesaidbefore,thewordsoflabelleMadameDelestangmademethoughtfulforawholeevening。Itriedtounderstandandtriedinvain,nothavinganynotionoflifeasanenterprisethatcouldbemismanaged。ButIleftoffbeingthoughtfulshortlybeforemidnight,atwhichhour,hauntedbynoghostsofthepastandbynovisionsofthefuture,IwalkeddownthequayoftheVieuxPorttojointhepilot-boatofmyfriends。Iknewwhereshewouldbewaitingforhercrew,inthelittlebitofacanalbehindtheFortattheentranceoftheharbour。Thedesertedquayslookedverywhiteanddryinthemoonlightandasiffrost-
  boundinthesharpairofthatDecembernight。Aprowlerortwoslunkbynoiselessly;acustom-houseguard,soldier-like,aswordbyhisside,pacedcloseunderthebowspritsofthelongrowofshipsmooredbowsonoppositethelong,slightlycurved,continuousflatwallofthetallhousesthatseemedtobeoneimmenseabandonedbuildingwithinnumerablewindowsshutteredclosely。Onlyhereandthereasmalldingycafeforsailorscastayellowgleamonthebluishsheenoftheflagstones。Passingby,oneheardadeepmurmurofvoicesinside——nothingmore。HowquieteverythingwasattheendofthequaysonthelastnightonwhichIwentoutforaservicecruiseasaguestoftheMarseillespilots!Notafootstep,exceptmyown,notasigh,notawhisperingechooftheusualrevelrygoingoninthenarrowunspeakablelanesoftheOldTownreachedmyear——andsuddenly,withaterrificjinglingrattleofironandglass,theomnibusoftheJollietteonitslastjourneyswungroundthecornerofthedeadwallwhichfacesacrossthepavedroadthecharacteristicangularmassoftheFortSt。Jean。Threehorsestrottedabreastwiththeclatterofhoofsonthegranitesetts,andtheyellow,uproariousmachinejoltedviolentlybehindthem,fantastic,lightedup,perfectlyemptyandwiththedriverapparentlyasleeponhisswayingperchabovethatamazingracket。Iflattenedmyselfagainstthewallandgasped。Itwasastunningexperience。ThenafterstaggeringonafewpacesintheshadowoftheFortcastingadarknessmoreintensethanthatofacloudednightuponthecanal,Isawthetinylightofalanternstandingonthequay,andbecameawareofmuffledfiguresmakingtowardsitfromvariousdirections。PilotsoftheThirdCompanyhasteningtoembark。Toosleepytobetalkativetheysteponboardinsilence。Butafewlowgruntsandanenormousyawnareheard。Somebodyevenejaculates:"Ah!Coquindesort!"andsighswearilyathishardfate。
  ThepatronoftheThirdCompany(therewerefivecompaniesofpilotsatthattime,Ibelieve)isthebrother-in-lawofmyfriendSolary(Baptistin),abroad-shouldered,deep-chestedmanofforty,withakeen,frankglancewhichalwaysseeksyoureyes。
  Hegreetsmebyalow,hearty,"He,l’ami。Commentva?"Withhisclippedmoustacheandmassiveopenface,energeticandatthesametimeplacidinexpression,heisafinespecimenofthesouthernerofthecalmtype。Forthereissuchatypeinwhichthevolatilesouthernpassionistransmutedintosolidforce。Heisfair,butnoonecouldmistakehimforamanofthenorthevenbythedimgleamofthelanternstandingonthequay。HeisworthadozenofyourordinaryNormansorBretons,butthen,inthewholeimmensesweepoftheMediterraneanshores,youcouldnotfindhalfadozenmenofhisstamp。
  Standingbythetiller,hepullsouthiswatchfromunderathickjacketandbendshisheadoveritinthelightcastintotheboat。Time’sup。Hispleasantvoicecommandsinaquietundertone"Larguez。"Asuddenlyprojectedarmsnatchesthelanternoffthequay——and,warpedalongbyalineatfirst,thenwiththeregulartugoffourheavysweepsinthebow,thebighalf-deckedboatfullofmenglidesoutoftheblackbreathlessshadowoftheFort。Theopenwateroftheavant-portglittersunderthemoonasifsownoverwithmillionsofsequins,andthelongwhitebreakwatershineslikeathickbarofsolidsilver。
  Withaquickrattleofblocksandonesinglesilkyswish,thesailisfilledbyalittlebreezekeenenoughtohavecomestraightdownfromthefrozenmoon,andtheboat,aftertheclatterofthehauled-insweeps,seemstostandatrest,surroundedbyamysteriouswhisperingsofaintandunearthlythatitmaybetherustlingofthebrilliant,over-poweringmoonraysbreakinglikearain-showeruponthehard,smooth,shadowlesssea。
  ImaywellrememberthatlastnightspentwiththepilotsoftheThirdCompany。Ihaveknownthespellofmoonlightsince,onvariousseasandcoasts——coastsofforests,ofrocks,ofsanddunes——butnomagicsoperfectinitsrevelationofunsuspectedcharacter,asthoughonewereallowedtolookuponthemysticnatureofmaterialthings。ForhoursIsupposenowordwasspokeninthatboat。Thepilotsseatedintworowsfacingeachotherdozedwiththeirarmsfoldedandtheirchinsrestingupontheirbreasts。Theydisplayedagreatvarietyofcaps:cloth,wool,leather,peaks,ear-flaps,tassels,withapicturesqueroundberetortwopulleddownoverthebrows;andonegrandfather,withashaved,bonyfaceandagreatbeakofanose,hadacloakwithahoodwhichmadehimlookinourmidstlikeacowledmonkbeingcarriedoffgoodnessknowswherebythatsilentcompanyofseamen——quietenoughtobedead。
  Myfingersitchedforthetillerandinduecoursemyfriend,thepatron,surrenderedittomeinthesamespiritinwhichthefamilycoachmanletsaboyholdthereinsonaneasybitofroad。
  Therewasagreatsolitudearoundus;theisletsahead,MonteCristoandtheChateaud’Ifinfulllight,seemedtofloattowardsus——sosteady,soimperceptiblewastheprogressofourboat。"Keepherinthefurrowofthemoon,"thepatrondirectedmeinaquietmurmur,sittingdownponderouslyinthestern-
  sheetsandreachingforhispipe。
  Thepilotstationinweatherlikethiswasonlyamileortwotothewestwardoftheislets;andpresently,asweapproachedthespot,theboatweweregoingtorelieveswamintoourviewsuddenly,onherwayhome,cuttingblackandsinisterintothewakeofthemoonunderasablewing,whiletothemoursailmusthavebeenavisionofwhiteanddazzlingradiance。Withoutalteringthecourseahair’s-breadthweslippedbyeachotherwithinanoar’s-length。Adrawlingsardonichailcameoutofher。Instantly,asifbymagic,ourdozingpilotsgotontheirfeetinabody。Anincrediblebabelofbanteringshoutsburstout,ajocular,passionate,volublechatter,whichlastedtilltheboatsweresterntostern,theirsallbrightnowandwithashiningsailtooureyes,weturnedallblacktotheirvision,anddrawingawayfromthemunderasablewing。Thatextraordinaryuproardiedawayalmostassuddenlyasithadbegun;firstonehadenoughofitandsatdown,thenanother,thenthreeorfourtogether,andwhenallhadleftoffwithmuttersandgrowlinghalf-laughsthesoundofheartychucklingbecameaudible,persistent,unnoticed。Thecowledgrandfatherwasverymuchentertainedsomewherewithinhishood。
  Hehadnotjoinedintheshoutingofjokes,neitherhadhemovedtheleastbit。Hehadremainedquietlyinhisplaceagainstthefootofthemast。Ihadbeengiventounderstandlongbeforethathehadtheratingofasecond-classableseaman(matelotleger)inthefleetwhichsailedfromToulonfortheconquestofAlgeriaintheyearofgrace1830。And,indeed,Ihadseenandexaminedoneofthebuttonsofhisoldbrownpatchedcoat,theonlybrassbuttonofthemiscellaneouslot,flatandthin,withthewordsEquipagesdeligneengravedonit。Thatsortofbutton,Ibelieve,wentoutwiththelastoftheFrenchBourbons。
  "IpreserveditfromthetimeofmyNavyService,"heexplained,noddingrapidlyhisfrail,vulture-likehead。Itwasnotverylikelythathehadpickedupthatrelicinthestreet。HelookedcertainlyoldenoughtohavefoughtatTrafalgar——oratanyratetohaveplayedhislittlepartthereasapowder-monkey。ShortlyafterwehadbeenintroducedhehadinformedmeinaFranco-
  Provencaljargon,mumblingtremulouslywithhistoothlessjaws,thatwhenhewasa"shavernohigherthanthat"hehadseentheEmperorNapoleonreturningfromElba。Itwasatnight,henarratedvaguely,withoutanimation,ataspotbetweenFrejusandAntibesintheopencountry。Abigfirehadbeenlitatthesideofthecross-roads。Thepopulationfromseveralvillageshadcollectedthere,oldandyoung——downtotheverychildreninarms,becausethewomenhadrefusedtostayathome。Tallsoldierswearinghigh,hairycaps,stoodinacirclefacingthepeoplesilently,andtheirsterneyesandbigmoustacheswereenoughtomakeeverybodykeepatadistance。He,"beinganimpudentlittleshaver,"wriggledoutofthecrowd,creepingonhishandsandkneesasnearashedaredtothegrenadiers’legs,andpeepingthroughdiscoveredstandingperfectlystillinthelightofthefire"alittlefatfellowinathree-corneredhat,buttonedupinalongstraightcoat,withabigpaleface,inclinedononeshoulder,lookingsomethinglikeapriest。Hishandswereclaspedbehindhisback……ItappearsthatthiswastheEmperor,"theAncientcommentedwithafaintsigh。Hewasstaringfromthegroundwithallhismight,when"mypoorfather,"whohadbeensearchingforhisboyfranticallyeverywhere,pounceduponhimandhauledhimawaybytheear。
  Thetaleseemsanauthenticrecollection。Herelatedittomemanytimes,usingtheverysamewords。Thegrandfatherhonouredmebyaspecialandsomewhatembarrassingpredilection。Extremestouch。HewastheoldestmemberbyalongwayinthatCompany,andIwas,ifImaysayso,itstemporarilyadoptedbaby。Hehadbeenapilotlongerthananymanintheboatcouldremember;
  thirty——fortyyears。Hedidnotseemcertainhimself,butitcouldbefoundout,hesuggested,inthearchivesofthePilot-
  office。Hehadbeenpensionedoffyearsbefore,buthewentoutfromforceofhabit;and,asmyfriendthepatronoftheCompanyonceconfidedtomeinawhisper,"theoldchapdidnoharm。Hewasnotintheway。"Theytreatedhimwithroughdeference。Oneandanotherwouldaddresssomeinsignificantremarktohimnowandagain,butnobodyreallytookanynoticeofwhathehadtosay。Hehadsurvivedhisstrength,hisusefulness,hisverywisdom。Heworelong,green,worstedstockings,pulledupabovethekneeoverhistrousers,asortofwoollennightcaponhishairlesscranium,andwoodenclogsonhisfeet。Withouthishoodedcloakhelookedlikeapeasant。Halfadozenhandswouldbeextendedtohelphimonboard,butafterwardshewasleftprettymuchtohisownthoughts。Ofcourseheneverdidanywork,except,perhaps,tocastoffsomeropewhenhailed:"He,l’Ancien!letgothehalyardsthere,atyourhand"——orsomesuchrequestofaneasykind。
  Noonetooknoticeinanywayofthechucklingwithintheshadowofthehood。Hekeptitupforalongtimewithintenseenjoyment。Obviouslyhehadpreservedintacttheinnocenceofmindwhichiseasilyamused。Butwhenhishilarityhadexhausteditself,hemadeaprofessionalremarkinaself-assertivebutquaveringvoice:
  "Can’texpectmuchworkonanightlikethis。"
  Noonetookitup。Itwasameretruism。Nothingundercanvascouldbeexpectedtomakeaportonsuchanidlenightofdreamysplendourandspiritualstillness。Wewouldhavetoglideidlytoandfro,keepingourstationwithintheappointedbearings,and,unlessafreshbreezesprangupwiththedawn,wewouldlandbeforesunriseonasmallisletthat,withintwomilesofus,shonelikealumpoffrozenmoonlight,to"breakacrustandtakeapullatthewinebottle。"Iwasfamiliarwiththeprocedure。
  Thestoutboatemptiedofhercrowdwouldnestleherbuoyant,capablesideagainsttheveryrock——suchistheperfectlysmoothamenityoftheclassicseawheninagentlemood。Thecrustbroken,andthemouthfulofwineswallowed——itwasliterallynomorethanthatwiththisabstemiousrace——thepilotswouldpassthetimestampingtheirfeetontheslabsofsea-saltedstoneandblowingintotheirnippedfingers。Oneortwomisanthropistswouldsitapartperchedonboulderslikeman-likesea-fowlofsolitaryhabits;thesociablydisposedwouldgossipscandalouslyinlittlegesticulatingknots;andtherewouldbeperpetuallyoneoranotherofmyhoststakingaimattheemptyhorizonwiththelong,brasstubeofthetelescope,aheavy,murderous-lookingpieceofcollectiveproperty,everlastinglychanginghandswithbrandishingandlevellingmovements。Thenaboutnoon(itwasashortturnofduty——thelongturnlastedtwenty-fourhours)
  anotherboatfulofpilotswouldrelieveus——andweshouldsteerfortheoldPhoenicianport,dominated,watchedoverfromtheridgeofadust-greyaridhillbythered-and-white-stripedpileoftheNotreDamedelaGarde。
  AllthiscametopassasIhadforeseeninthefullnessofmyveryrecentexperience。Butalsosomethingnotforeseenbymedidhappen,somethingwhichcausesmetoremembermylastoutingwiththepilots。Itwasonthisoccasionthatmyhandtouched,forthefirsttime,thesideofanEnglishship。
  Nofreshbreezehadcomewiththedawn,onlythesteadylittledraughtgotamorekeenedgeonitastheeasternskybecamebrightandglassywithaclean,colourlesslight。Itwaswhilewewereallashoreontheisletthatasteamerwaspickedupbythetelescope,ablackspecklikeaninsectposedonthehardedgeoftheoffing。Sheemergedrapidlytoherwater-lineandcameonsteadily,aslimhullwithalongstreakofsmokeslantingawayfromtherisingsun。Weembarkedinahurry,andheadedtheboatoutforourprey,butwehardlymovedthreemilesanhour。
  Shewasabig,high-classcargo-steamerofatypethatistobemetontheseanomore,blackhull,withlow,whitesuper-
  structures,powerfullyriggedwiththreemastsandalotofyardsonthefore;twohandsatherenormouswheel——steamsteering-gearwasnotamatterofcourseinthesedays——andwiththemonthebridgethreeothers,bulkyinthickbluejackets,ruddy-faced,muffledup,withpeakedcaps——Isupposeallherofficers。ThereareshipsIhavemetmorethanonceandknownwellbysightwhosenamesIhaveforgotten;butthenameofthatshipseenoncesomanyyearsagointheclearflushofacoldpalesunriseIhavenotforgotten。HowcouldI——thefirstEnglishshiponwhosesideIeverlaidmyhand!Thename——Ireaditletterbyletteronthebow——was"JamesWestoll。"Notveryromanticyouwillsay。Thenameofaveryconsiderable,well-knownanduniversallyrespectedNorth-countryshipowner,Ibelieve。JamesWestoll!Whatbetternamecouldanhonourablehard-workingshiphave?TometheverygroupingofthelettersisalivewiththeromanticfeelingofherrealityasIsawherfloatingmotionless,andborrowinganidealgracefromtheausterepurityofthelight。
  Wewerethenverynearherand,onasuddenimpulse,I
  volunteeredtopullbowinthedinghywhichshovedoffatoncetoputthepilotonboardwhileourboat,fannedbythefaintairwhichhadattendedusallthroughthenight,wentonglidinggentlypasttheblackglisteninglengthoftheship。Afewstrokesbroughtusalongside,anditwasthenthat,fortheveryfirsttimeinmylife,IheardmyselfaddressedinEnglish——thespeechofmysecretchoice,ofmyfuture,oflongfriendships,ofthedeepestaffections,ofhoursoftoilandhoursofease,andofsolitaryhourstoo,ofbooksread,ofthoughtspursued,ofrememberedemotions——ofmyverydreams!Andif(afterbeingthusfashionedbyitinthatpartofmewhichcannotdecay)Idarenotclaimitaloudasmyown,then,atanyratethespeechofmychildren。Thussmalleventsgrowmemorablebythepassageoftime。AstothequalityoftheaddressitselfIcannotsayitwasverystriking。Tooshortforeloquenceanddevoidofallcharmoftone,itconsistedpreciselyofthethreewords"Lookoutthere,"growledouthuskilyabovemyhead。
  Itproceededfromabigfatfellow(hehadanobtrusive,hairydoublechin)inabluewoollenshirtandroomybreechespulledupveryhigh,eventothelevelofhisbreast-bone,byapairofbracesquiteexposedtopublicview。AswherehestoodtherewasnobulwarkbutonlyarailandstanchionsIwasabletotakeinataglancethewholeofhisvoluminouspersonfromhisfeettothehighcrownofhissoftblackhat,whichsatlikeanabsurdflangedconeonhisbighead。Thegrotesqueandmassivespaceofthatdeckhand(Isupposehewasthat——verylikelythelamp-
  trimmer)surprisedmeverymuch。Mycourseofreading,ofdreamingandlongingfortheseahadnotpreparedmeforasea-
  brotherofthatsort。InevermetagainafigureintheleastlikehisexceptintheillustrationstoMr。W。W。Jacobs’mostentertainingtalesofbargesandcoasters;buttheinspiredtalentofMr。Jacobsforpokingendlessfunatpoor,innocentsailorsinaprosewhich,howeverextravagantinitsfelicitousinvention,isalwaysartisticallyadjustedtoobservedtruth,wasnotyet。PerhapsMr。Jacobshimselfwasnotyet。Ifancythat,atmost,ifhehadmadehisnurselaughitwasaboutallhehadachievedatthatearlydate。
  Therefore,Irepeat,otherdisabilitiesapart,Icouldnothavebeenpreparedforthesightofthathuskyoldporpoise。Theobjectofhisconciseaddresswastocallmyattentiontoaropewhichheincontinentlyflungdownformetocatch。Icaughtit,thoughitwasnotreallynecessary,theshiphavingnowayonherbythattime。Theneverythingwentonveryswiftly。Thedinghycamewithaslightbumpagainstthesteamer’sside,thepilot,grabbingtheropeladder,hadscrambledhalfwayupbeforeIknewthatourtaskofboardingwasdone;theharsh,muffledclangingoftheengine-roomtelegraphstruckmyearthroughtheironplate;mycompanioninthedinghywasurgingmeto"shoveoff——
  pushhard";andwhenIboreagainstthesmoothflankofthefirstEnglishshipIevertouchedinmylife,Ifeltitalreadythrobbingundermyopenpalm。
  Herheadswungalittletothewest,pointingtowardstheminiaturelighthouseoftheJolliettebreakwater,farawaythere,hardlydistinguishableagainsttheland。Thedinghydancedasquashy,splashyjiginthewashofthewakeandturninginmyseatIfollowedthe"JamesWestoll"withmyeyes。Beforeshehadgoneinaquarterofamileshehoistedherflagastheharbourregulationsprescribeforarrivinganddepartingships。Isawitsuddenlyflickerandstreamoutontheflagstaff。TheRedEnsign!Inthepellucid,colourlessatmospherebathingthedrabandgreymassesofthatsouthernland,thelividislets,theseaofpaleglassyblueunderthepaleglassyskyofthatcoldsunrise,itwasasfarastheeyecouldreachtheonlyspotofardentcolour——flame-like,intense,andpresentlyasminuteasthetinyredsparktheconcentratedreflectionofagreatfirekindlesintheclearheartofaglobeofcrystal。TheRedEnsign——thesymbolic,protectingwarmbitofbuntingflungwideupontheseas,anddestinedforsomanyyearstobetheonlyroofovermyhead。