[Sheresumesherwork]。
THEGENTLEMAN。Indeed！Perhaps——mayIaskareyouMissVivieWarren？
THEYOUNGLADY[sharply，assheturnsonherelbowtogetagoodlookathim]Yes。
THEGENTLEMAN[dauntedandconciliatory]I’mafraidIappearintrusive。MynameisPraed。[Vivieatoncethrowsherbooksuponthechair，andgetsoutofthehammock]。Oh，praydon’tletmedisturbyou。
VIVIE[stridingtothegateandopeningitforhim]Comein，MrPraed。[Hecomesin]。Gladtoseeyou。[Sheproffersherhandandtakeshiswitharesoluteandheartygrip。Sheisanattractivespecimenofthesensible，able，highly-educatedyoungmiddle-classEnglishwoman。Age22。Prompt，strong，confident，self-possessed。Plainbusiness-likedress，butnotdowdy。Shewearsachatelaineatherbelt，withafountainpenandapaperknifeamongitspendants]。
PRAED。Verykindofyouindeed，MissWarren。[Sheshutsthegatewithavigorousslam。Hepassesintothemiddleofthegarden，exercisinghisfingers，whichareslightlynumbedbyhergreeting]。Hasyourmotherarrived？
VIVIE[quickly，evidentlyscentingaggression]Isshecoming？
PRAED[surprised]Didn’tyouexpectus？
VIVIE。No。
PRAED。Now，goodnessme，IhopeIvenotmistakentheday。Thatwouldbejustlikeme，youknow。YourmotherarrangedthatshewastocomedownfromLondonandthatIwastocomeoverfromHorshamtobeintroducedtoyou。
VIVIE[notatallpleased]Didshe？Hm！Mymotherhasratheratrickoftakingmebysurprise——toseehowIbehavemyselfwhileshe’saway，Isuppose。IfancyIshalltakemymotherverymuchbysurpriseoneofthesedays，ifshemakesarrangementsthatconcernmewithoutconsultingmebeforehand。Shehasntcome。
PRAED[embarrassed]I’mreallyverysorry。
VIVIE[throwingoffherdispleasure]It’snotyourfault，MrPraed，isit？AndI’mverygladyouvecome。Youaretheonlyoneofmymother’sfriendsIhaveeveraskedhertobringtoseeme。
PRAED[relievedanddelighted]Oh，nowthisisreallyverygoodofyou，MissWarren！
VIVIE。Willyoucomeindoors;orwouldyourathersitouthereandtalk？
PRAED。Itwillbenicerouthere，dontyouthink？
VIVIE。ThenI’llgoandgetyouachair。[Shegoestotheporchforagardenchair]。
PRAED[followingher]Oh，pray，pray！Allowme。[Helayshandsonthechair]。
VIVIE[lettinghimtakeit]Takecareofyourfingers;theyreratherdodgythings，thosechairs。[Shegoesacrosstothechairwiththebooksonit;pitchesthemintothehammock;andbringsthechairforwardwithoneswing]。
PRAED[whohasjustunfoldedhischair]Oh，nowdoletmetakethathardchair。Ilikehardchairs。
VIVIE。SodoI。Sitdown，MrPraed。[Thisinvitationshegiveswithagenialperemptoriness，hisanxietytopleaseherclearlystrikingherasasignofweaknessofcharacteronhispart。Buthedoesnotimmediatelyobey]。
PRAED。Bytheway，though，hadntwebettergotothestationtomeetyourmother？
VIVIE[coolly]Why？Sheknowstheway。
PRAED[disconcerted]Er——Isupposeshedoes[hesitsdown]。
VIVIE。Doyouknow，youarejustlikewhatIexpected。Ihopeyouaredisposedtobefriendswithme。
PRAED[againbeaming]Thankyou，mydearMissWarren;thankyou。Dearme！I’msogladyourmotherhasntspoiltyou！
VIVIE。How？
PRAED。Well，inmakingyoutooconventional。Youknow，mydearMissWarren，Iamabornanarchist。Ihateauthority。Itspoilstherelationsbetweenparentandchild;evenbetweenmotheranddaughter。NowIwasalwaysafraidthatyourmotherwouldstrainherauthoritytomakeyouveryconventional。It’ssucharelieftofindthatshehasnt。
VIVIE。Oh！haveIbeenbehavingunconventionally？
PRAED。Ohno：ohdearno。Atleast，notconventionallyunconventionally，youunderstand。[Shenodsandsitsdown。Hegoeson，withacordialoutburst]Butitwassocharmingofyoutosaythatyouweredisposedtobefriendswithme！Youmodernyoungladiesaresplendid：perfectlysplendid！
VIVIE[dubiously]Eh？[watchinghimwithdawningdisappointmentastothequalityofhisbrainsandcharacter]。
PRAED。WhenIwasyourage，youngmenandwomenwereafraidofeachother：therewasnogoodfellowship。Nothingreal。Onlygallantrycopiedoutofnovels，andasvulgarandaffectedasitcouldbe。Maidenlyreserve！gentlemanlychivalry！alwayssayingnowhenyoumeantyes！simplepurgatoryforshyandsinceresouls。
VIVIE。Yes，Iimaginetheremusthavebeenafrightfulwasteoftime。Especiallywomen’stime。
PRAED。Oh，wasteoflife，wasteofeverything。Butthingsareimproving。Doyouknow，IhavebeeninapositivestateofexcitementaboutmeetingyoueversinceyourmagnificentachievementsatCambridge：athingunheardofinmyday。Itwasperfectlysplendid，yourtieingwiththethirdwrangler。Justtherightplace，youknow。Thefirstwranglerisalwaysadreamy，morbidfellow，inwhomthethingispushedtothelengthofadisease。
VIVIE。Itdoesntpay。Iwouldntdoitagainforthesamemoney。
PRAED[aghast]Thesamemoney！
VIVIE。Yes。Fiftypounds。Perhapsyoudontknowhowitwas。
MrsLatham，mytutoratNewnham，toldmymotherthatIcoulddistinguishmyselfinthemathematicaltriposifIwentinforitinearnest。ThepaperswerefulljustthenofPhillipaSummersbeatingtheseniorwrangler。Yourememberaboutit，ofcourse。
PRAED[shakeshisheadenergetically]！！！
VIVIE。Well，anyhow，shedid;andnothingwouldpleasemymotherbutthatIshoulddothesamething。IsaidflatlythatitwasnotworthmywhiletofacethegrindsinceIwasnotgoinginforteaching;butIofferedtotryforfourthwranglerorthereaboutsforfiftypounds。Sheclosedwithmeatthat，afteralittlegrumbling;andIwasbetterthanmybargain。ButIwouldntdoitagainforthat。Twohundredpoundswouldhavebeennearerthemark。
PRAED[muchdamped]Lordblessme！Thatsaverypracticalwayoflookingatit。
VIVIE。Didyouexpecttofindmeanunpracticalperson？
PRAED。Butsurelyit’spracticaltoconsidernotonlytheworkthesehonorscost，butalsotheculturetheybring。
VIVIE。Culture！MydearMrPraed：doyouknowwhatthemathematicaltriposmeans？Itmeansgrind，grind，grindforsixtoeighthoursadayatmathematics，andnothingbutmathematics。
I’msupposedtoknowsomethingaboutscience;butIknownothingexceptthemathematicsitinvolves。Icanmakecalculationsforengineers，electricians，insurancecompanies，andsoon;butI
knownexttonothingaboutengineeringorelectricityorinsurance。Idontevenknowarithmeticwell。Outsidemathematics，lawn-tennis，eating，sleeping，cycling，andwalking，I’mamoreignorantbarbarianthananywomancouldpossiblybewhohadntgoneinforthetripos。
PRAED[revolted]Whatamonstrous，wicked，rascallysystem！I
knewit！Ifeltatoncethatitmeantdestroyingallthatmakeswomanhoodbeautiful！
VIVIE。Idontobjecttoitonthatscoreintheleast。Ishallturnittoverygoodaccount，Iassureyou。
PRAED。Pooh！Inwhatway？
VIVIE。IshallsetupchambersintheCity，andworkatactuarialcalculationsandconveyancing。UndercoverofthatI
shalldosomelaw，withoneeyeontheStockExchangeallthetime。Ivecomedownherebymyselftoreadlaw：notforaholiday，asmymotherimagines。Ihateholidays。
PRAED。Youmakemybloodruncold。Areyoutohavenoromance，nobeautyinyourlife？
VIVIE。Idontcareforeither，Iassureyou。
PRAED。Youcantmeanthat。
VIVIE。OhyesIdo。Ilikeworkingandgettingpaidforit。
WhenI’mtiredofworking，Ilikeacomfortablechair，acigar，alittlewhisky，andanovelwithagooddetectivestoryinit。
PRAED[risinginafrenzyofrepudiation]Idontbelieveit。I
amanartist;andIcantbelieveit：Irefusetobelieveit。
It’sonlythatyouhavntdiscoveredyetwhatawonderfulworldartcanopenuptoyou。
VIVIE。YesIhave。LastMayIspentsixweeksinLondonwithHonoriaFraser。Mammathoughtweweredoingaroundofsightseeingtogether;butIwasreallyatHonoria’schambersinChanceryLaneeveryday，workingawayatactuarialcalculationsforher，andhelpingheraswellasagreenhorncould。Intheeveningswesmokedandtalked，andneverdreamtofgoingoutexceptforexercise。AndIneverenjoyedmyselfmoreinmylife。
Iclearedallmyexpensesandgotinitiatedintothebusinesswithoutafeeinthebargain。
PRAED。Butblessmyheartandsoul，MissWarren，doyoucallthatdiscoveringart？
VIVIE。Waitabit。Thatwasntthebeginning。IwentuptotownonaninvitationfromsomeartisticpeopleinFitzjohn’sAvenue：
oneofthegirlswasaNewnhamchum。TheytookmetotheNationalGallery——
PRAED[approving]Ah！！[Hesitsdown，muchrelieved]。
VIVIE[continuing]——totheOpera——
PRAED[stillmorepleased]Good！
VIVIE。——andtoaconcertwherethebandplayedalltheevening：
BeethovenandWagnerandsoon。Iwouldntgothroughthatexperienceagainforanythingyoucouldofferme。Iheldoutforcivility’ssakeuntilthethirdday;andthenIsaid，plumpout，thatIcouldntstandanymoreofit，andwentofftoChanceryLane。NowyouknowthesortofperfectlysplendidmodernyoungladyIam。HowdoyouthinkIshallgetonwithmymother？
PRAED[startled]Well，Ihope——er——
VIVIE。It’snotsomuchwhatyouhopeaswhatyoubelieve，thatIwanttoknow。
PRAED。Well，frankly，Iamafraidyourmotherwillbealittledisappointed。Notfromanyshortcomingonyourpart，youknow：I
dontmeanthat。Butyouaresodifferentfromherideal。
VIVIE。Herwhat？！
PRAED。Herideal。
VIVIE。DoyoumeanheridealofME？
PRAED。Yes。
VIVIE。Whatonearthisitlike？
PRAED。Well，youmusthaveobserved，MissWarren，thatpeoplewhoaredissatisfiedwiththeirownbringing-upgenerallythinkthattheworldwouldbeallrightifeverybodyweretobebroughtupquitedifferently。Nowyourmother’slifehasbeen——er——I
supposeyouknow——
VIVIE。Dontsupposeanything，MrPraed。Ihardlyknowmymother。SinceIwasachildIhavelivedinEngland，atschooloratcollege，orwithpeoplepaidtotakechargeofme。Ihavebeenboardedoutallmylife。MymotherhaslivedinBrusselsorViennaandneverletmegotoher。IonlyseeherwhenshevisitsEnglandforafewdays。Idontcomplain：it’sbeenverypleasant;forpeoplehavebeenverygoodtome;andtherehasalwaysbeenplentyofmoneytomakethingssmooth。ButdontimagineIknowanythingaboutmymother。Iknowfarlessthanyoudo。
PRAED[veryillatease]Inthatcase——[Hestops，quiteataloss。Then，withaforcedattemptatgaiety]Butwhatnonsensewearetalking！Ofcourseyouandyourmotherwillgetoncapitally。[Herises，andlooksabroadattheview]。Whatacharminglittleplaceyouhavehere！
VIVIE[unmoved]Ratheraviolentchangeofsubject，MrPraed。
Whywontmymother’slifebearbeingtalkedabout？
PRAED。Oh，youmustntsaythat。IsntitnaturalthatIshouldhaveacertaindelicacyintalkingtomyoldfriend’sdaughteraboutherbehindherback？Youandshewillhaveplentyofopportunityoftalkingaboutitwhenshecomes。
VIVIE。No：shewonttalkaboutiteither。[Rising]However，I
daresayyouhavegoodreasonsfortellingmenothing。Only，mindthis，MrPraed，IexpecttherewillbeabattleroyalwhenmymotherhearsofmyChanceryLaneproject。
PRAED[ruefully]I’mafraidtherewill。
VIVIE。Well，IshallwinbecauseIwantnothingbutmyfaretoLondontostartthereto-morrowearningmyownlivingbydevillingforHonoria。Besides，Ihavenomysteriestokeepup;
anditseemsshehas。Ishallusethatadvantageoverherifnecessary。
PRAED[greatlyshocked]Ohno！No，pray。Youdnotdosuchathing。
VIVIE。Thentellmewhynot。
PRAED。Ireallycannot。Iappealtoyourgoodfeeling。[Shesmilesathissentimentality]。Besides，youmaybetoobold。
Yourmotherisnottobetrifledwithwhenshe’sangry。
VIVIE。Youcantfrightenme，MrPraed。InthatmonthatChanceryLaneIhadopportunitiesoftakingthemeasureofoneortwowomenverylikemymother。Youmaybackmetowin。ButifIhitharderinmyignorancethanIneed，rememberitisyouwhorefusetoenlightenme。Now，letusdropthesubject。[Shetakesherchairandreplacesitnearthehammockwiththesamevigorousswingasbefore]。
PRAED[takingadesperateresolution]Oneword，MissWarren。I
hadbettertellyou。It’sverydifficult;but——
[MrsWarrenandSirGeorgeCroftsarriveatthegate。MrsWarrenisbetween40and50，formerlypretty，showilydressedinabrillianthatandagayblousefittingtightlyoverherbustandflankedbyfashionablesleeves。Ratherspoiltanddomineering，anddecidedlyvulgar，but，onthewhole，agenialandfairlypresentableoldblackguardofawoman。]
[Croftsisatallpowerfully-builtmanofabout50，fashionablydressedinthestyleofayoungman。Nasalvoice，reedierthanmightbeexpectedfromhisstrongframe。Clean-shavenbulldogjaws，largeflatears，andthickneck：gentlemanlycombinationofthemostbrutaltypesofcityman，sportingman，andmanabouttown。]
VIVIE。Heretheyare。[Comingtothemastheyenterthegarden]
Howdo，mater？MrPraed’sbeenherethishalfhour，waitingforyou。
MRSWARREN。Well，ifyouvebeenwaiting，Praddy，it’syourownfault：IthoughtyoudhavehadthegumptiontoknowIwascomingbythe3。10train。Vivie：putyourhaton，dear：youllgetsunburnt。Oh，Iforgottointroduceyou。SirGeorgeCrofts：mylittleVivie。
[CroftsadvancestoViviewithhismostcourtlymanner。Shenods，butmakesnomotiontoshakehands。]
CROFTS。MayIshakehandswithayoungladywhomIhaveknownbyreputationverylongasthedaughterofoneofmyoldestfriends？
VIVIE[whohasbeenlookinghimupanddownsharply]Ifyoulike。
[Shetakeshistenderlyproferredhandandgivesitasqueezethatmakeshimopenhiseyes;thenturnsaway，andsaystohermother]Willyoucomein，orshallIgetacouplemorechairs？
[Shegoesintotheporchforthechairs]。
MRSWARREN。Well，George，whatdoyouthinkofher？
CROFTS[ruefully]Shehasapowerfulfist。Didyoushakehandswithher，Praed？
PRAED。Yes：itwillpassoffpresently。
CROFTS。Ihopeso。[Viviereappearswithtwomorechairs。Hehurriestoherassistance]。Allowme。
MRSWARREN[patronizingly]LetSirGeorgehelpyouwiththechairs，dear。
VIVIE[pitchingthemintohisarms]Hereyouare。[ShedustsherhandsandturnstoMrsWarren]。Youdlikesometea，wouldntyou？
MRSWARREN[sittinginPraed’schairandfanningherself]I’mdyingforadroptodrink。
VIVIE。I’llseeaboutit。[Shegoesintothecottage]。
[SirGeorgehasbythistimemanagedtounfoldachairandplantitbyMrsWarren，onherleft。Hethrowstheotheronthegrassandsitsdown，lookingdejectedandratherfoolish，withthehandleofhisstickinhismouth。Praed，stillveryuneasy，fidgetsaroundthegardenontheirright。]
MRSWARREN[toPraed，lookingatCrofts]Justlookathim，Praddy：helookscheerful，donthe？He’sbeenworryingmylifeoutthesethreeyearstohavethatlittlegirlofmineshewntohim;andnowthatIvedoneit，he’squiteoutofcountenance。
[Briskly]Come！situp，George;andtakeyourstickoutofyourmouth。[Croftssulkilyobeys]。
PRAED。Ithink，youknow——ifyoudontmindmysayingso——thatwehadbettergetoutofthehabitofthinkingofherasalittlegirl。Youseeshehasreallydistinguishedherself;andI’mnotsure，fromwhatIhaveseenofher，thatsheisnotolderthananyofus。
MRSWARREN[greatlyamused]Onlylistentohim，George！Olderthananyofus！Wellshehasbeenstuffingyounicelywithherimportance。
PRAED。Butyoungpeopleareparticularlysensitiveaboutbeingtreatedinthatway。
MRSWARREN。Yes;andyoungpeoplehavetogetallthatnonsensetakenoutofthem，andgooddealmorebesides。Dontyouinterfere，Praddy：Iknowhowtotreatmyownchildaswellasyoudo。[Praed，withagraveshakeofhishead，walksupthegardenwithhishandsbehindhisback。MrsWarrenpretendstolaugh，butlooksafterhimwithperceptibleconcern。Then，shewhisperstoCrofts]Whatsthematterwithhim？Whatdoeshetakeitlikethatfor？
CROFTS[morosely]YoureafraidofPraed。
MRSWARREN。What！Me！AfraidofdearoldPraddy！Why，aflywouldntbeafraidofhim。
CROFTS。Youreafraidofhim。
MRSWARREN[angry]I’lltroubleyoutomindyourownbusiness，andnottryanyofyoursulksonme。I’mnotafraidofyou，anyhow。Ifyoucantmakeyourselfagreeable，youdbettergohome。[Shegetsup，and，turningherbackonhim，findsherselffacetofacewithPraed]。Come，Praddy，Iknowitwasonlyyourtender-heartedness。YoureafraidI’llbullyher。
PRAED。MydearKitty：youthinkI’moffended。Dontimaginethat：praydont。ButyouknowIoftennoticethingsthatescapeyou;andthoughyounevertakemyadvice，yousometimesadmitafterwardsthatyououghttohavetakenit。
MRSWARREN。Well，whatdoyounoticenow？
PRAED。OnlythatVivieisagrownwoman。Pray，Kitty，treatherwitheveryrespect。
MRSWARREN[withgenuineamazement]Respect！Treatmyowndaughterwithrespect！Whatnext，pray！
VIVIE[appearingatthecottagedoorandcallingtoMrsWarren]
Mother：willyoucometomyroombeforetea？
MRSWARREN。Yes，dearie。[ShelaughsindulgentlyatPraed’sgravity，andpatshimonthecheekasshepasseshimonherwaytotheporch]。Dontbecross，Praddy。[ShefollowsVivieintothecottage]。
CROFTS[furtively]Isay，Praed。
PRAED。Yes。
CROFTS。Iwanttoaskyouaratherparticularquestion。
PRAED。Certainly。[HetakesMrsWarren’schairandsitsclosetoCrofts]。
CROFTS。Thatsright：theymighthearusfromthewindow。Lookhere：didKittyeverytellyouwhothatgirl’sfatheris？
PRAED。Never。
CROFTS。Haveyouanysuspicionofwhoitmightbe？
PRAED。None。
CROFTS[notbelievinghim]Iknow，ofcourse，thatyouperhapsmightfeelboundnottotellifshehadsaidanythingtoyou。
Butit’sveryawkwardtobeuncertainaboutitnowthatweshallbemeetingthegirleveryday。Wedontexactlyknowhowweoughttofeeltowardsher。
PRAED。Whatdifferencecanthatmake？Wetakeheronherownmerits。Whatdoesitmatterwhoherfatherwas？
CROFTS[suspiciously]Thenyouknowwhohewas？
PRAED[withatouchoftemper]Isaidnojustnow。Didyounothearme？
CROFTS。Lookhere，Praed。Iaskyouasaparticularfavor。Ifyoudoknow[movementofprotestfromPraed]——Ionlysay，ifyouknow，youmightatleastsetmymindatrestabouther。Thefactis，Ifellattracted。
PRAED[sternly]Whatdoyoumean？
CROFTS。Oh，dontbealarmed：it’squiteaninnocentfeeling。
Thatswhatpuzzlesmeaboutit。Why，forallIknow，_I_mightbeherfather。
PRAED。You！Impossible！
CROFTS[catchinghimupcunningly]YouknowforcertainthatI’mnot？
PRAED。Iknownothingaboutit，Itellyou，anymorethanyou。
Butreally，Crofts——ohno，it’soutofthequestion。Theresnottheleastresemblance。
CROFTS。Astothat，theresnoresemblancebetweenherandhermotherthatIcansee。Isupposeshe’snotyourdaughter，isshe？
PRAED[risingindignantly]Really，Crofts——！
CROFTS。Nooffence，Praed。Quiteallowableasbetweentwomenoftheworld。
PRAED[recoveringhimselfwithaneffortandspeakinggentlyandgravely]Nowlistentome，mydearCrofts。[Hesitsdownagain]。
IhavenothingtodowiththatsideofMrsWarren’slife，andneverhad。Shehasneverspokentomeaboutit;andofcourseI
haveneverspokentoheraboutit。Yourdelicacywilltellyouthatahandsomewomanneedssomefriendswhoarenot——well，notonthatfootingwithher。Theeffectofherownbeautywouldbecomeatormenttoherifshecouldnotescapefromitoccasionally。YouareprobablyonmuchmoreconfidentialtermswithKittythanIam。Surelyyoucanaskherthequestionyourself。
CROFTS。Ihaveaskedher，oftenenough。Butshe’ssodeterminedtokeepthechildalltoherselfthatshewoulddenythatiteverhadafatherifshecould。[Rising]I’mthoroughlyuncomfortableaboutit，Praed。
PRAED[risingalso]Well，asyouare，atallevents，oldenoughtobeherfather，IdontmindagreeingthatwebothregardMissVivieinaparentalway，asayounggirlwhoweareboundtoprotectandhelp。Whatdoyousay？
CROFTS[aggressively]I’mnoolderthanyou，ifyoucometothat。
PRAED。Yesyouare，mydearfellow：youwerebornold。Iwasbornaboy：Iveneverbeenabletofeeltheassuranceofagrown-
upmaninmylife。[Hefoldshischairandcarriesittotheporch]。
MRSWARREN[callingfromwithinthecottage]Prad-dee！George！
Tea-ea-ea-ea！
CROFTS[hastily]She’scallingus。[Hehurriesin]。
[Praedshakeshisheadbodingly，andisfollowingCroftswhenheishailedbyayounggentlemanwhohasjustappearedonthecommon，andismakingforthegate。Heispleasant，pretty，smartlydressed，cleverlygood-for-nothing，notlongturned20，withacharmingvoiceandagreeablydisrespectfulmanners。Hecarriesalightsportingmagazinerifle。]
THEYOUNGGENTLEMAN。Hallo！Praed！
PRAED。Why，FrankGardner！[Frankcomesinandshakeshandscordially]。Whatonearthareyoudoinghere？
FRANK。Stayingwithmyfather。
PRAED。TheRomanfather？
FRANK。He’srectorhere。I’mlivingwithmypeoplethisautumnforthesakeofeconomy。ThingscametoacrisisinJuly：theRomanfatherhadtopaymydebts。He’sstonybrokeinconsequence;andsoamI。Whatareyouuptointheseparts？doyouknowthepeoplehere？
PRAED。Yes：I’mspendingthedaywithaMissWarren。
FRANK[enthusiastically]What！DoyouknowVivie？Isntsheajollygirl？I’mteachinghertoshootwiththis[puttingdowntherifle]。I’msogladsheknowsyou：yourejustthesortoffellowsheoughttoknow。[Hesmiles，andraisesthecharmingvoicealmosttoasingingtoneasheexclaims]It’seversojollytofindyouhere，Praed。
PRAED。I’manoldfriendofhermother。MrsWarrenbroughtmeovertomakeherdaughter’sacquaintance。
FRANK。Themother！Isshehere？
PRAED。Yes：inside，attea。
MRSWARREN[callingfromwithin]Prad-dee-ee-ee-eee！Thetea-
cake’llbecold。
PRAED[calling]Yes，MrsWarren。Inamoment。Ivejustmetafriendhere。
MRSWARREN。Awhat？
PRAED[louder]Afriend。
MRSWARREN。Bringhimin。
PRAED。Allright。[ToFrank]Willyouaccepttheinvitation？
FRANK[incredulous，butimmenselyamused]IsthatVivie’smother？
PRAED。Yes。
FRANK。ByJove！Whatalark！Doyouthinkshe’lllikeme？
PRAED。Ivenodoubtyoullmakeyourselfpopular，asusual。Comeinandtry[movingtowardsthehouse]。
FRANK。Stopabit。[Seriously]Iwanttotakeyouintomyconfidence。
PRAED。Praydont。It’sonlysomefreshfolly，likethebarmaidatRedhill。
FRANK。It’seversomuchmoreseriousthanthat。YousayyouveonlyjustmetVivieforthefirsttime？
PRAED。Yes。
FRANK[rhapsodically]Thenyoucanhavenoideawhatagirlsheis。Suchcharacter！Suchsense！Andhercleverness！Oh，myeye，Praed，butIcantellyousheisclever！And——needIadd？——
shelovesme。
CROFTS[puttinghisheadoutofthewindow]Isay，Praed：whatareyouabout？Docomealong。[Hedisappears]。
FRANK。Hallo！Sortofchapthatwouldtakeaprizeatadogshow，ainthe？Who’she？
PRAED。SirGeorgeCrofts，anoldfriendofMrsWarren’s。I
thinkwehadbettercomein。
[Ontheirwaytotheporchtheyareinterruptedbyacallfromthegate。Turning，theyseeanelderlyclergymanlookingoverit。]
THECLERGYMAN[calling]Frank！
FRANK。Hallo！[ToPraed]TheRomanfather。[Totheclergyman]
Yes，gov’nor：allright：presently。[ToPraed]Lookhere，Praed：
youdbettergointotea。I’lljoinyoudirectly。
PRAED。Verygood。[Hegoesintothecottage]。
[Theclergymanremainsoutsidethegate，withhishandsonthetopofit。TheRev。SamuelGardner，abeneficedclergymanoftheEstablishedChurch，isover50。Externallyheispretentious，booming，noisy，important。ReallyheisthatobsolescentphenomenonthefoolofthefamilydumpedontheChurchbyhisfatherthepatron，clamorouslyassertinghimselfasfatherandclergymanwithoutbeingabletocommandrespectineithercapacity。]
REV。S。Well，sir。Whoareyourfriendshere，ifImayask？
FRANK。Oh，it’sallright，gov’nor！Comein。
REV。S。No，sir;notuntilIknowwhosegardenIamentering。
FRANK。It’sallright。It’sMissWarren’s。
REV。S。Ihavenotseenheratchurchsinceshecame。
FRANK。Ofcoursenot：she’sathirdwrangler。Eversointellectual。Tookahigherdegreethanyoudid;sowhyshouldshegotohearyoupreach？
REV。S。Dontbedisrespectful，sir。
FRANK。Oh，itdontmatter：nobodyhearsus。Comein。[Heopensthegate，unceremoniouslypullinghisfatherwithitintothegarden]。Iwanttointroduceyoutoher。DoyouremembertheadviceyougavemelastJuly，gov’nor？
REV。S。[severely]Yes。Iadvisedyoutoconqueryouridlenessandflippancy，andtoworkyourwayintoanhonorableprofessionandliveonitandnotuponme。
FRANK。No：thatswhatyouthoughtofafterwards。WhatyouactuallysaidwasthatsinceIhadneitherbrainsnormoney，I’dbetterturnmygoodlookstoaccountbymarryingsomeonewithboth。Well，lookhere。MissWarrenhasbrains：youcantdenythat。
REV。S。Brainsarenoteverything。
FRANK。No，ofcoursenot：theresthemoney——
REV。S。[interruptinghimausterely]Iwasnotthinkingofmoney，sir。Iwasspeakingofhigherthings。Socialposition，forinstance。
FRANK。Idontcarearapaboutthat。
REV。S。ButIdo，sir。
FRANK。Well，nobodywantsyoutomarryher。Anyhow，shehaswhatamountstoahighCambridgedegree;andsheseemstohaveasmuchmoneyasshewants。
REV。S。[sinkingintoafeebleveinofhumor]Igreatlydoubtwhethershehasasmuchmoneyasyouwillwant。
FRANK。Oh，come：Ihavntbeensoveryextravagant。Iliveeversoquietly;Idontdrink;Idontbetmuch;andInevergoregularlytotherazzle-dazzleasyoudidwhenyouweremyage。
REV。S。[boominghollowly]Silence，sir。
FRANK。Well，youtoldmeyourself，whenIwasmakingeverysuchanassofmyselfaboutthebarmaidatRedhill，thatyouonceofferedawomanfiftypoundsforthelettersyouwrotetoherwhen——
REV。S。[terrified]Sh-sh-sh，Frank，forHeaven’ssake！[HelooksroundapprehensivelySeeingnoonewithinearshotheplucksupcouragetoboomagain，butmoresubduedly]。YouaretakinganungentlemanlyadvantageofwhatIconfidedtoyouforyourowngood，tosaveyoufromanerroryouwouldhaverepentedallyourlifelong。Takewarningbyyourfather’sfollies，sir;
anddontmakethemanexcuseforyourown。
FRANK。DidyoueverhearthestoryoftheDukeofWellingtonandhisletters？
REV。S。No，sir;andIdontwanttohearit。
FRANK。TheoldIronDukedidntthrowawayfiftypounds：nothe。
Hejustwrote："DearJenny：publishandbedamned！Yoursaffectionately，Wellington。"Thatswhatyoushouldhavedone。
REV。S。[piteously]Frank，myboy，：whenIwrotethoselettersI
putmyselfintothatwoman’spower。WhenItoldyouaboutthemI
putmyself，tosomeextent，Iamsorrytosay，inyourpower。
Sherefusedmymoneywiththesewords，whichIshallneverforget。"Knowledgeispower"shesaid;"andIneversellpower。"
Thatsmorethantwentyyearsago;andshehasnevermadeuseofherpowerorcausedmeamoment’suneasiness。Youarebehavingworsetomethanshedid，Frank。
FRANK。OhyesIdaresay！Didyoueverpreachatherthewayyoupreachatmeeveryday？
REV。S。[woundedalmosttotears]Ileaveyou，sir。Youareincorrigible。[Heturnstowardsthegate]。
FRANK[utterlyunmoved]TellthemIshantbehometotea，willyou，gov’nor，likeagoodfellow？[HemovestowardsthecottagedoorandismetbyPraedandViviecomingout]。
VIVIE[toFrank]Isthatyourfather，Frank？Idosowanttomeethim。
FRANK。Certainly。[Callingafterhisfather]Gov’nor。Yourewanted。[Theparsonturnsatthegate，fumblingnervouslyathishat。Praedcrossesthegardentotheoppositeside，beaminginanticipationofcivilities]。Myfather：MissWarren。
VIVIE[goingtotheclergymanandshakinghishand]Verygladtoseeyouhere，MrGardner。[Callingtothecottage]Mother：comealong：yourewanted。
[MrsWarrenappearsonthethreshold，andisimmediatelytransfixed，recognizingtheclergyman。]
VIVIE[continuing]Letmeintroduce——
MRSWARREN[swoopingontheReverendSamuel]Whyit’sSamGardner，goneintotheChurch！Well，Inever！Dontyouknowus，Sam？ThisisGeorgeCrofts，aslargeaslifeandtwiceasnatural。Dontyourememberme？
REV。S。[veryred]Ireally——er——
MRSWARREN。Ofcourseyoudo。Why，Ihaveawholealbumofyourlettersstill：Icameacrossthemonlytheotherday。
REV。S。[miserablyconfused]MissVavasour，Ibelieve。
MRSWARREN[correctinghimquicklyinaloudwhisper]Tch！
Nonsense！MrsWarren：dontyouseemydaughterthere？
ACTII
[Insidethecottageafternightfall。Lookingeastwardfromwithininsteadofwestwardfromwithout，thelatticedwindow，withitscurtainsdrawn，isnowseeninthemiddleofthefrontwallofthecottage，withtheporchdoortotheleftofit。Intheleft-handsidewallisthedoorleadingtothekitchen。
Fartherbackagainstthesamewallisadresserwithacandleandmatchesonit，andFrank’sriflestandingbesidethem，withthebarrelrestingintheplate-rack。Inthecentreatablestandswithalightedlamponit。Vivie’sbooksandwritingmaterialsareonatabletotherightofthewindow，againstthewall。Thefireplaceisontheright，withasettle：thereisnofire。Twoofthechairsaresetrightandleftofthetable。]
[Thecottagedooropens，shewingafinestarlitnightwithout;
andMrsWarren，hershoulderswrappedinashawlborrowedfromVivie，enters，followedbyFrank，whothrowshiscaponthewindowseat。Shehashadenoughofwalking，andgivesagaspofreliefassheunpinsherhat;takesitoff;sticksthepinthroughthecrown;andputsitonthetable。]
MRSWARREN。OLord！Idontknowwhichistheworstofthecountry，thewalkingorthesittingathomewithnothingtodo。
Icoulddowithawhiskyandsodanowverywell，ifonlytheyhadsuchathingsinthisplace。
FRANK。PerhapsVivie’sgotsome。
MRSWARREN。Nonsense！Whatwouldayounggirllikeherbedoingwithsuchthings！Nevermind：itdontmatter。Iwonderhowshepasseshertimehere！I’dagooddealratherbeinVienna。
FRANK。Letmetakeyouthere。[Hehelpshertotakeoffhershawl，gallantlygivinghershouldersaveryperceptiblesqueezeashedoesso]。
MRSWARREN。Ah！wouldyou？I’mbeginningtothinkyoureachipoftheoldblock。
FRANK。Likethegov’nor，eh？[Hehangstheshawlonthenearestchair，andsitsdown]。
MRSWARREN。Neveryoumind。Whatdoyouknowaboutsuchthings？
Youreonlyaboy。[Shegoestothehearthtobefartherfromtemptation]。
FRANK。DocometoViennawithme？It’dbeeversuchlarks。
MRSWARREN。No，thankyou。Viennaisnoplaceforyou——atleastnotuntilyourealittleolder。[Shenodsathimtoemphasizethispieceofadvice。Hemakesamock-piteousface，beliedbyhislaughingeyes。Shelooksathim;thencomesbacktohim]。
Now，lookhere，littleboy[takinghisfaceinherhandsandturningituptoher]：Iknowyouthroughandthroughbyyourlikenesstoyourfather，betterthanyouknowyourself。Dontyougotakinganysillyideasintoyourheadaboutme。Doyouhear？
FRANK[gallantlywooingherwithhisvoice]Canthelpit，mydearMrsWarren：itrunsinthefamily。
[Shepretendstoboxhisears;thenlooksattheprettylaughingupturnedfaceofamoment，tempted。Atlastshekisseshim，andimmediatelyturnsaway，outofpatiencewithherself。]
MRSWARREN。There！Ishouldnthavedonethat。Iamwicked。
Neveryoumind，mydear：it’sonlyamotherlykiss。GoandmakelovetoVivie。
FRANK。SoIhave。
MRSWARREN[turningonhimwithasharpnoteofalarminhervoice]What！
FRANK。VivieandIareeversuchchums。
MRSWARREN。Whatdoyoumean？Nowseehere：Iwonthaveanyyoungscamptamperingwithmylittlegirl。Doyouhear？Iwonthaveit。
FRANK[quiteunabashed]MydearMrsWarren：dontyoubealarmed。
Myintentionsarehonorable：eversohonorable;andyourlittlegirlisjollywellabletotakecareofherself。Shedontneedlookingafterhalfsomuchashermother。Sheaintsohandsome，youknow。
MRSWARREN[takenabackbyhisassurance]Well，youhavegotanicehealthytwoinchesofcheekalloveryou。Idontknowwhereyougotit。Notfromyourfather，anyhow。
CROFTS[inthegarden]Thegipsies，Isuppose？
REV。S。[replying]Thebroomsquiresarefarworse。
MRSWARREN[toFrank]S-sh！Remember！youvehadyourwarning。
[CroftsandtheReverendSamuelGardnercomeinfromthegarden，theclergymancontinuinghisconversationasheenters。]
REV。S。TheperjuryattheWinchesterassizesisdeplorable。
MRSWARREN。Well？whatbecameofyoutwo？AndwheresPraddyandVivie？
CROFTS[puttinghishatonthesettleandhisstickinthechimneycorner]Theywentupthehill。Wewenttothevillage。
Iwantedadrink。[Hesitsdownonthesettle，puttinghislegsupalongtheseat]。
MRSWARREN。Well，sheoughtnttogoofflikethatwithouttellingme。[ToFrank]Getyourfatherachair，Frank：whereareyourmanners？[Frankspringsupandgracefullyoffershisfatherhischair;thentakesanotherfromthewallandsitsdownatthetable，inthemiddle，withhisfatheronhisrightandMrsWarrenonhisleft]。George：whereareyougoingtostayto-night？Youcantstayhere。AndwhatsPraddygoingtodo？
CROFTS。Gardner’llputmeup。
MRSWARREN。Oh，nodoubtyouvetakencareofyourself！ButwhataboutPraddy？
CROFTS。Dontknow。Isupposehecansleepattheinn。
MRSWARREN。Havntyouroomforhim，Sam？
REV。S。Well——er——yousee，asrectorhere，IamnotfreetodoasIlike。Er——whatisMrPraed’ssocialposition？
MRSWARREN。Oh，he’sallright：he’sanarchitect。Whatanoldstick-in-the-mudyouare，Sam！
FRANK。Yes，it’sallright，gov’nor。HebuiltthatplacedowninWalesfortheDuke。CaernarvonCastletheycallit。Youmusthaveheardofit。[HewinkswithlightningsmartnessatMrsWarren，andregardshisfatherblandly]。
REV。S。Oh，inthatcase，ofcourseweshallonlybetoohappy。
IsupposeheknowstheDukepersonally。
FRANK。Oh，eversointimately！WecanstickhiminGeorgina’soldroom。
MRSWARREN。Well，thatssettled。Nowifthosetwowouldonlycomeinandletushavesupper。Theyvenorighttostayoutafterdarklikethis。
CROFTS[aggressively]Whatharmaretheydoingyou？
MRSWARREN。Well，harmornot，Idontlikeit。
FRANK。Betternotwaitforthem，MrsWarren。Praedwillstayoutaslongaspossible。HehasneverknownbeforewhatitistostrayovertheheathonasummernightwithmyVivie。
CROFTS[sittingupinsomeconsternation]Isay，youknow！Come！
REV。S。[rising，startledoutofhisprofessionalmannerintorealforceandsincerity]Frank，onceandforall，it’soutofthequestion。MrsWarrenwilltellyouthatit’snottobethoughtof。
CROFTS。Ofcoursenot。
FRANK[withenchantingplacidity]Isthatso，MrsWarren？
MRSWARREN[reflectively]Well，Sam，Idontknow。Ifthegirlwantstogetmarried，nogoodcancomeofkeepingherunmarried。
REV。S。[astounded]Butmarriedtohim！——yourdaughtertomyson！Onlythink：it’simpossible。
CROFTS。Ofcourseit’simpossible。Dontbeafool，Kitty。
MRSWARREN[nettled]Whynot？Isntmydaughtergoodenoughforyourson？
REV。S。Butsurely，mydearMrsWarren，youknowthereasons——
MRSWARREN[defiantly]Iknownoreasons。Ifyouknowany，youcantellthemtothelad，ortothegirl，ortoyourcongregation，ifyoulike。
REV。S。[collapsinghelplesslyintohischair]YouknowverywellthatIcouldnttellanyonethereasons。ButmyboywillbelievemewhenItellhimtherearereasons。
FRANK。Quiteright，Dad：hewill。Buthasyourboy’sconducteverbeeninfluencedbyyourreasons？
CROFTS。Youcantmarryher;andthatsallaboutit。[Hegetsupandstandsonthehearth，withhisbacktothefireplace，frowningdeterminedly]。
MRSWARREN[turningonhimsharply]Whathaveyougottodowithit，pray？
FRANK[withhisprettiestlyricalcadence]PreciselywhatIwasgoingtoask，myself，inmyowngracefulfashion。
CROFTS[toMrsWarren]Isupposeyoudontwanttomarrythegirltoamanyoungerthanherselfandwithouteitheraprofessionortwopencetokeepheron。AskSam，ifyoudontbelieveme。[Totheparson]Howmuchmoremoneyareyougoingtogivehim？
REV。S。Notanotherpenny。Hehashadhispatrimony;andhespentthelastofitinJuly。[MrsWarren’sfacefalls]。
CROFTS[watchingher]There！Itoldyou。[Heresumeshisplaceonthesettleandputshislegsontheseatagain，asifthematterwerefinallydisposedof]。
FRANK[plaintively]Thisiseversomercenary。DoyousupposeMissWarren’sgoingtomarryformoney？Ifweloveoneanother——
MRSWARREN。Thankyou。Yourlove’saprettycheapcommodity，mylad。Ifyouhavenomeansofkeepingawife，thatsettlesit;
youcanthaveVivie。
FRANK[muchamused]Whatdoyousay，gov’nor，eh？
REV。S。IagreewithMrsWarren。
FRANK。AndgoodoldCroftshasalreadyexpressedhisopinion。
CROFTS[turningangrilyonhiselbow]Lookhere：Iwantnoneofyourcheek。
FRANK[pointedly]I’meversosorrytosurpriseyou，Crofts;
butyouallowedyourselfthelibertyofspeakingtomelikeafatheramomentago。Onefatherisenough，thankyou。
CROFTS[contemptuously]Yah！[Heturnsawayagain]。
FRANK[rising]MrsWarren：IcannotgivemyVivieup，evenforyoursake。
MRSWARREN[muttering]Youngscamp！
FRANK[continuing]Andasyounodoubtintendtoholdoutotherprospectstoher，Ishalllosenotimeinplacingmycasebeforeher。[Theystareathim;andhebeginstodeclaimgracefully]Heeitherfearshisfatetoomuch，Orhisdesertsaresmall，Thatdaresnotputittothetouch，Togainorloseitall。
[Thecottagedoorsopenwhilstheisreciting;andVivieandPraedcomein。Hebreaksoff。Praedputshishatonthedresser。Thereisanimmediateimprovementinthecompany’sbehavior。CroftstakesdownhislegsfromthesettleandpullshimselftogetherasPraedjoinshimatthefireplace。MrsWarrenloseshereaseofmannerandtakesrefugeinquerulousness。]
MRSWARREN。Whereverhaveyoubeen，Vivie？
VIVIE[takingoffherhatandthrowingitcarelesslyonthetable]Onthehill。
MRSWARREN。Well，youshouldntgoofflikethatwithoutlettingmeknow。HowcouldItellwhathadbecomeofyou？Andnightcomingontoo！
VIVIE[goingtothedoorofthekitchenandopeningit，ignoringhermother]Now，aboutsupper？[AllriseexceptMrsWarren]Weshallberathercrowdedinhere，I’mafraid。
MRSWARREN。DidyouhearwhatIsaid，Vivie？
VIVIE[quietly]Yes，mother。[Revertingtothesupperdifficulty]Howmanyarewe？[Counting]One，two，three，four，five，six。Well，twowillhavetowaituntiltherestaredone：
MrsAlisonhasonlyplatesandknivesforfour。
PRAED。Oh，itdoesntmatteraboutme。I——
VIVIE。Youhavehadalongwalkandarehungry，MrPraed：youshallhaveyoursupperatonce。Icanwaitmyself。Iwantonepersontowaitwithme。Frank：areyouhungry？
FRANK。Nottheleastintheworld。Completelyoffmypeck，infact。
MRSWARREN[toCrofts]Neitherareyou，George。Youcanwait。
CROFTS。Oh，hangit，Iveeatennothingsincetea-time。CantSamdoit？
FRANK。Wouldyoustarvemypoorfather？
REV。S。[testily]Allowmetospeakformyself，sir。Iamperfectlywillingtowait。
VIVIE[decisively]There’snoneed。Onlytwoarewanted。[Sheopensthedoorofthekitchen]。Willyoutakemymotherin，MrGardner。[TheparsontakesMrsWarren;andtheypassintothekitchen。PraedandCroftsfollow。AllexceptPraedclearlydisapproveofthearrangement，butdonotknowhowtoresistit。
Viviestandsatthedoorlookinginatthem]。Canyousqueezepasttothatcorner，MrPraed：it’sratheratightfit。Takecareofyourcoatagainstthewhite-wash：thatright。Now，areyouallcomfortable？
PRAED[within]Quite，thankyou。
MRSWARREN[within]Leavethedooropen，dearie。[Viviefrowns;
butFrankchecksherwithagesture，andstealstothecottagedoor，whichhesoftlysetswideopen]。OhLor，whatadraught！
Youdbettershutit，dear。
[Vivieshutsitwithaslam，andthen，notingwithdisgustthathermother’shatandshawlarelyingabout，takesthemtidilytothewindowseat，whilstFranknoiselesslyshutsthecottagedoor。]
FRANK[exulting]Aha！Gotridofem。Well，Vivvums：whatdoyouthinkofmygovernor？
VIVIE[preoccupiedandserious]Ivehardlyspokentohim。Hedoesntstrikemeasaparticularlyableperson。
FRANK。Well，youknow，theoldmanisnotaltogethersuchafoolashelooks。Yousee，hewasshovedintotheChurch，rather;andintryingtoliveuptoithemakesamuchbiggerassofhimselfthanhereallyis。Idontdislikehimasmuchasyoumightexpect。Hemeanswell。Howdoyouthinkyoullgetonwithhim？
VIVIE[rathergrimly]Idontthinkmyfuturelifewillbemuchconcernedwithhim，orwithanyofthatoldcircleofmymother’s，exceptperhapsPraed。[Shesitsdownonthesettle]
Whatdoyouthinkofmymother？
FRANK。Reallyandtruly？
VIVIE。Yes，reallyandtruly。
FRANK。Well，she’seversojolly。Butshe’sratheracaution，isntshe？AndCrofts！Oh，myeye，Crofts！[Hesitsbesideher]。