"’Now,ifhedoesnotsaytherightthingtothemwearealldonefor,’saidtheRussianatmyelbow。Theknotofmenwiththestretcherhadstoppedtoo,half-waytothesteamer,asifpetrified。Isawthemanonthestretchersitup,lankandwithanupliftedarm,abovetheshouldersofthebearers。’Letushopethatthemanwhocantalksowellofloveingeneralwillfindsomeparticularreasontospareusthistime,’Isaid。I
resentedbitterlytheabsurddangerofoursituation,asiftobeatthemercyofthatatrociousphantomhadbeenadishonoringnecessity。Icouldnothearasound,butthroughmyglassesIsawthethinarmextendedcommandingly,thelowerjawmoving,theeyesofthatapparitionshiningdarklyfarinitsbonyheadthatnoddedwithgrotesquejerks。Kurtz——Kurtz——thatmeansshortinGerman——don’tit?Well,thenamewasastrueaseverythingelseinhislife——anddeath。Helookedatleastsevenfeetlong。Hiscoveringhadfallenoff,andhisbodyemergedfromitpitifulandappallingasfromawinding-sheet。Icouldseethecageofhisribsallastir,thebonesofhisarmwaving。Itwasasthoughananimatedimageofdeathcarvedoutofoldivoryhadbeenshakingitshandwithmenacesatamotionlesscrowdofmenmadeofdarkandglitteringbronze。Isawhimopenhismouthwide——itgavehimaweirdlyvoraciousaspect,asthoughhehadwantedtoswallowalltheair,alltheearth,allthemenbeforehim。
Adeepvoicereachedmefaintly。Hemusthavebeenshouting。Hefellbacksuddenly。Thestretchershookasthebearersstaggeredforwardagain,andalmostatthesametimeInoticedthatthecrowdofsavageswasvanishingwithoutanyperceptiblemovementofretreat,asiftheforestthathadejectedthesebeingssosuddenlyhaddrawntheminagainasthebreathisdrawninalongaspiration。
"Someofthepilgrimsbehindthestretchercarriedhisarms——twoshot-guns,aheavyrifle,andalightrevolver-
carbine——thethunderboltsofthatpitifulJupiter。Themanagerbentoverhimmurmuringashewalkedbesidehishead。Theylaidhimdowninoneofthelittlecabins——justaroomforabed-placeandacamp-stoolortwo,youknow。Wehadbroughthisbelatedcorrespondence,andalotoftornenvelopesandopenletterslitteredhisbed。Hishandroamedfeeblyamongstthesepapers。I
wasstruckbythefireofhiseyesandthecomposedlanguorofhisexpression。Itwasnotsomuchtheex-
haustionofdisease。Hedidnotseeminpain。Thisshadowlookedsatiatedandcalm,asthoughforthemomentithadhaditsfillofalltheemotions。
"Herustledoneoftheletters,andlookingstraightinmyfacesaid,’Iamglad。’Somebodyhadbeenwrit-
ingtohimaboutme。Thesespecialrecommendationswereturningupagain。Thevolumeoftoneheemittedwithouteffort,almostwithoutthetroubleofmovinghislips,amazedme。Avoice!avoice!Itwasgrave,pro-
found,vibrating,whilethemandidnotseemcapableofawhisper。However,hehadenoughstrengthinhim——factitiousnodoubt——toverynearlymakeanendofus,asyoushallheardirectly。
"Themanagerappearedsilentlyinthedoorway;I
steppedoutatonceandhedrewthecurtainafterme。
TheRussian,eyedcuriouslybythepilgrims,wasstar-
ingattheshore。Ifollowedthedirectionofhisglance。
"Darkhumanshapescouldbemadeoutinthedistance,flittingindistinctlyagainstthegloomyborderoftheforest,andneartherivertwobronzefigures,leaningontallspears,stoodinthesunlightunderfantastichead-
dressesofspottedskins,warlikeandstillinstatuesquerepose。Andfromrighttoleftalongthelightedshoremovedawildandgorgeousapparitionofawoman。
"Shewalkedwithmeasuredsteps,drapedinstripedandfringedcloths,treadingtheearthproudly,withaslightjingleandflashofbarbarousornaments。Shecarriedherheadhigh;herhairwasdoneintheshapeofahelmet;shehadbrassleggingstotheknee,brasswiregauntletstotheelbow,acrimsonspotonhertawnycheek,innumerablenecklacesofglassbeadsonherneck;
bizarrethings,charms,giftsofwitch-men,thathungabouther,glitteredandtrembledateverystep。Shemusthavehadthevalueofseveralelephanttusksuponher。Shewassavageandsuperb,wild-eyedandmagnifi-
cent;therewassomethingominousandstatelyinherdeliberateprogress。Andinthehushthathadfallensuddenlyuponthewholesorrowfulland,theimmensewilderness,thecolossalbodyofthefecundandmys-
teriouslifeseemedtolookather,pensive,asthoughithadbeenlookingattheimageofitsowntenebrousandpassionatesoul。
"Shecameabreastofthesteamer,stoodstill,andfacedus。Herlongshadowfelltothewater’sedge。Herfacehadatragicandfierceaspectofwildsorrowandofdumbpainmingledwiththefearofsomestruggling,half-shapedresolve。Shestoodlookingatuswithoutastirandlikethewildernessitself,withanairofbrood-
ingoveraninscrutablepurpose。Awholeminutepassed,andthenshemadeastepforward。Therewasalowjingle,aglintofyellowmetal,aswayoffringeddraper-
ies,andshestoppedasifherhearthadfailedher。Theyoungfellowbymysidegrowled。Thepilgrimsmur-
muredatmyback。Shelookedatusallasifherlifehaddependedupontheunswervingsteadinessofherglance。Suddenlysheopenedherbaredarmsandthrewthemuprigidaboveherhead,asthoughinanuncon-
trollabledesiretotouchthesky,andatthesametimetheswiftshadowsdartedoutontheearth,sweptaroundontheriver,gatheringthesteamerintoashadowyem-
brace。Aformidablesilencehungoverthescene。
"Sheturnedawayslowly,walkedon,followingthebank,andpassedintothebushestotheleft。Onceonlyhereyesgleamedbackatusintheduskofthethicketsbeforeshedisappeared。
"’IfshehadofferedtocomeaboardIreallythinkI
wouldhavetriedtoshoother,’saidthemanofpatches,nervously。’Ihadbeenriskingmylifeeverydayforthelastfortnighttokeepheroutofthehouse。Shegotinonedayandkickeduparowaboutthosemiser-
ableragsIpickedupinthestoreroomtomendmyclotheswith。Iwasn’tdecent。Atleastitmusthavebeenthat,forshetalkedlikeafurytoKurtzforanhour,point-
ingatmenowandthen。Idon’tunderstandthedia-
lectofthistribe。Luckilyforme,IfancyKurtzfelttooillthatdaytocare,ortherewouldhavebeenmis-
chief。Idon’tunderstand……No——it’stoomuchforme。Ah,well,it’sallovernow。’
"AtthismomentIheardKurtz’sdeepvoicebehindthecurtain,’Saveme!——savetheivory,youmean。Don’ttellme。SaveME!Why,I’vehadtosaveyou。Youareinterruptingmyplansnow。Sick!Sick!Notsosickasyouwouldliketobelieve。Nevermind。I’llcarrymyideasoutyet——Iwillreturn。I’llshowyouwhatcanbedone。Youwithyourlittlepeddlingno-
tions——youareinterferingwithme。Iwillreturn。
I……’
"Themanagercameout。Hedidmethehonortotakemeunderthearmandleadmeaside。’Heisverylow,verylow,’hesaid。Heconsidereditnecessarytosigh,butneglectedtobeconsistentlysorrowful。’Wehavedoneallwecouldforhim——haven’twe?Butthereisnodisguisingthefact,Mr。KurtzhasdonemoreharmthangoodtotheCompany。Hedidnotseethetimewasnotripeforvigorousaction。Cautiously,cau-
tiously——that’smyprinciple。Wemustbecautiousyet。
Thedistrictisclosedtousforatime。Deplorable!Uponthewhole,thetradewillsuffer。Idon’tdenythereisaremarkablequantityofivory——mostlyfossil。Wemustsaveit,atallevents——butlookhowprecarioustheposi-
tionis——andwhy?Becausethemethodisunsound。’
’Doyou,’saidI,lookingattheshore,’callit"unsoundmethod"?’’Withoutdoubt,’heexclaimed,hotly。
’Don’tyou?’……’Nomethodatall,’Imurmuredafterawhile。’Exactly,’heexulted。’Ianticipatedthis。Showsacompletewantofjudgment。Itismydutytopointitoutintheproperquarter。’’Oh,’saidI,’thatfellow——what’shisname?——thebrickmaker,willmakeareadablereportforyou。’Heappearedcon-
foundedforamoment。ItseemedtomeIhadneverbreathedanatmospheresovile,andIturnedmentallytoKurtzforrelief——positivelyforrelief。’Neverthe-
lessIthinkMr。Kurtzisaremarkableman,’Isaidwithemphasis。Hestarted,droppedonmeacoldheavyglance,saidveryquietly,’HeWAS,’andturnedhisbackonme。Myhouroffavorwasover;IfoundmyselflumpedalongwithKurtzasapartisanofmethodsforwhichthetimewasnotripe:Iwasunsound!Ah!butitwassomethingtohaveatleastachoiceofnightmares。
"Ihadturnedtothewildernessreally,nottoMr。
Kurtz,who,Iwasreadytoadmit,wasasgoodasburied。
AndforamomentitseemedtomeasifIalsowereburiedinavastgravefullofunspeakablesecrets。I
feltanintolerableweightoppressingmybreast,thesmellofthedampearth,theunseenpresenceofvictoriouscorruption,thedarknessofanimpenetrablenight……
TheRussiantappedmeontheshoulder。Iheardhimmumblingandstammeringsomethingabout’brotherseaman——couldn’tconceal——knowledgeofmattersthatwouldaffectMr。Kurtz’sreputation。’Iwaited。ForhimevidentlyMr。Kurtzwasnotinhisgrave;IsuspectthatforhimMr。Kurtzwasoneoftheimmortals。
’Well!’saidIatlast,’speakout。Asithappens,IamMr。Kurtz’sfriend——inaway。’
"Hestatedwithagooddealofformalitythathadwenotbeen’ofthesameprofession,’hewouldhavekeptthemattertohimselfwithoutregardtoconse-
quences。’Hesuspectedtherewasanactiveill-willto-
wardshimonthepartofthesewhitementhat——’
’Youareright,’Isaid,rememberingacertainconversa-
tionIhadoverheard。’Themanagerthinksyououghttobehanged。’Heshowedaconcernatthisintelligencewhichamusedmeatfirst。’Ihadbettergetoutofthewayquietly,’hesaid,earnestly。’IcandonomoreforKurtznow,andtheywouldsoonfindsomeexcuse。
What’stostopthem?There’samilitarypostthreehun-
dredmilesfromhere。’’Well,uponmyword,’saidI,’perhapsyouhadbettergoifyouhaveanyfriendsamongstthesavagesnearby。’’Plenty,’hesaid。’Theyaresimplepeople——andIwantnothing,youknow。’
Hestoodbitinghislips,then:’Idon’twantanyharmtohappentothesewhiteshere,butofcourseIwasthink-
ingofMr。Kurtz’sreputation——butyouareabrotherseamanand——’’Allright,’saidI,afteratime。
’Mr。Kurtz’sreputationissafewithme。’IdidnotknowhowtrulyIspoke。
"Heinformedme,loweringhisvoice,thatitwasKurtzwhohadorderedtheattacktobemadeonthesteamer。’Hehatedsometimestheideaofbeingtakenaway——andthenagain……ButIdon’tunderstandthesematters。Iamasimpleman。Hethoughtitwouldscareyouaway——thatyouwouldgiveitup,thinkinghimdead。Icouldnotstophim。Oh,Ihadanawfultimeofitthislastmonth。’’Verywell,’Isaid。’Heisallrightnow。’’Ye-e-es,’hemuttered,notverycon-
vincedapparently。’Thanks,’saidI;’Ishallkeepmyeyesopen。’’Butquiet——eh?’heurged,anxiously。’Itwouldbeawfulforhisreputationifanybodyhere——’
Ipromisedacompletediscretionwithgreatgravity。’I
haveacanoeandthreeblackfellowswaitingnotveryfar。Iamoff。CouldyougivemeafewMartini-Henrycartridges?’Icould,anddid,withpropersecrecy。Hehelpedhimself,withawinkatme,toahandfulofmytobacco。’Betweensailors——youknow——goodEnglishtobacco。’Atthedoorofthepilot-househeturnedround——’Isay,haven’tyouapairofshoesyoucouldspare?’
Heraisedoneleg。’Look。’Thesolesweretiedwithknottedstringssandal-wiseunderhisbarefeet。Irootedoutanoldpair,atwhichhelookedwithadmirationbe-
foretuckingitunderhisleftarm。Oneofhispockets(brightred)wasbulgingwithcartridges,fromtheother(darkblue)peeped’Towson’sInquiry,’&c。,&c。
Heseemedtothinkhimselfexcellentlywellequippedforarenewedencounterwiththewilderness。’Ah!I’llnever,nevermeetsuchamanagain。Yououghttohaveheardhimrecitepoetry——hisowntooitwas,hetoldme。Poetry!’Herolledhiseyesattherecollectionofthesedelights。’Oh,heenlargedmymind!’’Good-
by,’saidI。Heshookhandsandvanishedinthenight。
SometimesIaskmyselfwhetherIhadeverreallyseenhim——whetheritwaspossibletomeetsuchaphenome-
non!……
"WhenIwokeupshortlyaftermidnighthiswarningcametomymindwithitshintofdangerthatseemed,inthestarreddarkness,realenoughtomakemegetupforthepurposeofhavingalookround。Onthehillabigfireburned,illuminatingfitfullyacrookedcornerofthestation-house。Oneoftheagentswithapicketofafewofourblacks,armedforthepurpose,waskeepingguardovertheivory;butdeepwithintheforest,redgleamsthatwavered,thatseemedtosinkandrisefromthegroundamongstconfusedcolumnarshapesofintenseblackness,showedtheexactpositionofthecampwhereMr。Kurtz’sadorerswerekeepingtheirun-
easyvigil。Themonotonousbeatingofabigdrumfilledtheairwithmuffledshocksandalingeringvibration。A
steadydroningsoundofmanymenchantingeachtohimselfsomeweirdincantationcameoutfromtheblack,flatwallofthewoodsasthehummingofbeescomesoutofahive,andhadastrangenarcoticeffectuponmyhalf-awakesenses。IbelieveIdozedoffleaningovertherail,tillanabruptburstofyells,anover-
whelmingoutbreakofapent-upandmysteriousfrenzy,wokemeupinabewilderedwonder。Itwascutshortallatonce,andthelowdroningwentonwithaneffectofaudibleandsoothingsilence。Iglancedcasuallyintothelittlecabin。Alightwasburningwithin,butMr。
Kurtzwasnotthere。
"IthinkIwouldhaveraisedanoutcryifIhadbe-
lievedmyeyes。ButIdidn’tbelievethematfirst——thethingseemedsoimpossible。ThefactisIwascompletelyunnervedbyasheerblankfright,pureabstractterror,unconnectedwithanydistinctshapeofphysicaldanger。
Whatmadethisemotionsooverpoweringwas——howshallIdefineit?——themoralshockIreceived,asifsomethingaltogethermonstrous,intolerabletothoughtandodioustothesoul,hadbeenthrustuponmeunexpectedly。Thislastedofcoursethemerestfractionofasecond,andthentheusualsenseofcommonplace,deadlydanger,thepossibilityofasuddenonslaughtandmassacre,orsome-
thingofthekind,whichIsawimpending,waspositivelywelcomeandcomposing。Itpacifiedme,infact,somuch,thatIdidnotraiseanalarm。
"Therewasanagentbuttonedupinsideanulsterandsleepingonachairondeckwithinthreefeetofe。Theyellshadnotawakenedhim;hesnoredveryslightly;Ilefthimtohisslumbersandleapedashore。
IdidnotbetrayMr。Kurtz——itwasorderedIshouldneverbetrayhim——itwaswrittenIshouldbeloyaltothenightmareofmychoice。Iwasanxioustodealwiththisshadowbymyselfalone,——andtothisdayI
don’tknowwhyIwassojealousofsharingwithany-
onethepeculiarblacknessofthatexperience。
"AssoonasIgotonthebankIsawatrail——abroadtrailthroughthegrass。IremembertheexultationwithwhichIsaidtomyself,’Hecan’twalk——heiscrawlingonall-fours——I’vegothim。’Thegrasswaswetwithdew。Istroderapidlywithclenchedfists。IfancyI
hadsomevaguenotionoffallinguponhimandgivinghimadrubbing。Idon’tknow。Ihadsomeimbecilethoughts。Theknittingoldwomanwiththecatob-
trudedherselfuponmymemoryasamostimproperpersontobesittingattheotherendofsuchanaffair。
IsawarowofpilgrimssquirtingleadintheairoutofWinchestersheldtothehip。IthoughtIwouldnevergetbacktothesteamer,andimaginedmyselflivingaloneandunarmedinthewoodstoanadvancedage。Suchsillythings——youknow。AndIrememberIconfoundedthebeatofthedrumwiththebeatingofmyheart,andwaspleasedatitscalmregularity。
"Ikepttothetrackthough——thenstoppedtolisten。
Thenightwasveryclear:adarkbluespace,sparklingwithdewandstarlight,inwhichblackthingsstoodverystill。IthoughtIcouldseeakindofmotionaheadofme。Iwasstrangelycocksureofeverythingthatnight。Iactuallyleftthetrackandraninawidesemi-
circle(Iverilybelievechucklingtomyself)soastogetinfrontofthatstir,ofthatmotionIhadseen——
ifindeedIhadseenanything。IwascircumventingKurtzasthoughithadbeenaboyishgame。
"Icameuponhim,and,ifhehadnotheardmecoming,Iwouldhavefallenoverhimtoo,buthegotupintime。Herose,unsteady,long,pale,indistinct,likeavaporexhaledbytheearth,andswayedslightly,mistyandsilentbeforeme;whileatmybackthefiresloomedbetweenthetrees,andthemurmurofmanyvoicesissuedfromtheforest。Ihadcuthimoffcleverly;butwhenactuallyconfrontinghimIseemedtocometomysenses,Isawthedangerinitsrightproportion。Itwasbynomeansoveryet。Supposehebegantoshout?Thoughhecouldhardlystand,therewasstillplentyofvigorinhisvoice。’Goaway——hideyourself,’hesaid,inthatprofoundtone。Itwasveryawful。Iglancedback。
Wewerewithinthirtyyardsfromthenearestfire。A
blackfigurestoodup,strodeonlongblacklegs,wavinglongblackarms,acrosstheglow。Ithadhorns——ante-
lopehorns,Ithink——onitshead。Somesorcerer,somewitch-man,nodoubt:itlookedfiend-likeenough。’Doyouknowwhatyouaredoing?’Iwhispered。’Per-
fectly,’heanswered,raisinghisvoiceforthatsingleword:itsoundedtomefaroffandyetloud,likeahailthroughaspeaking-trumpet。Ifhemakesarowwearelost,Ithoughttomyself。Thisclearlywasnotacaseforfisticuffs,evenapartfromtheverynaturalaversionIhadtobeatthatShadow——thiswanderingandtormentedthing。’Youwillbelost,’Isaid——’utterlylost。’Onegetssometimessuchaflashofinspiration,youknow。Ididsaytherightthing,thoughindeedhecouldnothavebeenmoreirretrievablylostthanhewasatthisverymoment,whenthefoundationsofourintimacywerebeinglaid——toendure——toendure——eventotheend——evenbeyond。
"’Ihadimmenseplans,’hemutteredirresolutely。
’Yes,’saidI;’butifyoutrytoshoutI’llsmashyourheadwith——’therewasnotastickorastonenear。’I
willthrottleyouforgood,’Icorrectedmyself。’Iwasonthethresholdofgreatthings,’hepleaded,inavoiceoflonging,withawistfulnessoftonethatmademybloodruncold。’Andnowforthisstupidscoundrel——’
’YoursuccessinEuropeisassuredinanycase,’Iaf-
firmed,steadily。Ididnotwanttohavethethrottlingofhim,youunderstand——andindeeditwouldhavebeenverylittleuseforanypracticalpurpose。Itriedtobreakthespell——theheavy,mutespellofthewilder-
ness——thatseemedtodrawhimtoitspitilessbreastbytheawakeningofforgottenandbrutalinstincts,bythememoryofgratifiedandmonstrouspassions。Thisalone,Iwasconvinced,haddrivenhimouttotheedgeoftheforest,tothebush,towardsthegleamoffires,thethrobofdrums,thedroneofweirdincantations;thisalonehadbeguiledhisunlawfulsoulbeyondtheboundsofpermittedaspirations。And,don’tyousee,theterrorofthepositionwasnotinbeingknockedonthehead——thoughIhadaverylivelysenseofthatdangertoo——butinthis,thatIhadtodealwithabeingtowhomIcouldnotappealinthenameofanythinghighorlow。
Ihad,evenliketheniggers,toinvokehim——himself——
hisownexaltedandincredibledegradation。Therewasnothingeitheraboveorbelowhim,andIknewit。Hehadkickedhimselflooseoftheearth。Confoundtheman!hehadkickedtheveryearthtopieces。Hewasalone,andIbeforehimdidnotknowwhetherIstoodonthegroundorfloatedintheair。I’vebeentellingyouwhatwesaid——repeatingthephraseswepronounced,——butwhat’sthegood?Theywerecommoneverydaywords,——thefamiliar,vaguesoundsexchangedoneverywakingdayoflife。Butwhatofthat?Theyhadbe-
hindthem,tomymind,theterrificsuggestivenessofwordsheardindreams,ofphrasesspokeninnight-
mares。Soul!Ifanybodyhadeverstruggledwithasoul,Iamtheman。AndIwasn’targuingwithaluna-
ticeither。Believemeornot,hisintelligencewasper-
fectlyclear——concentrated,itistrue,uponhimselfwithhorribleintensity,yetclear;andthereinwasmyonlychance——barring,ofcourse,thekillinghimthereandthen,whichwasn’tsogood,onaccountofunavoidablenoise。Buthissoulwasmad。Beingaloneinthewilder-
ness,ithadlookedwithinitself,and,byheavens!Itellyou,ithadgonemad。Ihad——formysins,Isuppose——
togothroughtheordealoflookingintoitmyself。Noeloquencecouldhavebeensowitheringtoone’sbeliefinmankindashisfinalburstofsincerity。Hestruggledwithhimself,too。Isawit,——Iheardit。Isawthein-
conceivablemysteryofasoulthatknewnorestraint,nofaith,andnofear,yetstrugglingblindlywithitself。I
keptmyheadprettywell;butwhenIhadhimatlaststretchedonthecouch,Iwipedmyforehead,whilemylegsshookundermeasthoughIhadcarriedhalfatononmybackdownthathill。AndyetIhadonlysupportedhim,hisbonyarmclaspedroundmyneck——andhewasnotmuchheavierthanachild。
"Whennextdayweleftatnoon,thecrowd,ofwhosepresencebehindthecurtainoftreesIhadbeenacutelyconsciousallthetime,flowedoutofthewoodsagain,filledtheclearing,coveredtheslopewithamassofnaked,breathing,quivering,bronzebodies。Isteamedupabit,thenswungdown-stream,andtwothousandeyesfollowedtheevolutionsofthesplashing,thumping,fierceriver-demonbeatingthewaterwithitsterribletailandbreathingblacksmokeintotheair。Infrontofthefirstrank,alongtheriver,threemen,plasteredwithbrightredearthfromheadtofoot,struttedtoandfrorestlessly。Whenwecameabreastagain,theyfacedtheriver,stampedtheirfeet,noddedtheirhornedheads,swayedtheirscarletbodies;theyshooktowardsthefierceriver-demonabunchofblackfeathers,amangyskinwithapendenttail——somethingthatlookedlikeadriedgourd;theyshoutedperiodicallytogetherstringsofamazingwordsthatresemblednosoundsofhumanlan-
guage;andthedeepmurmursofthecrowd,inter-
ruptedsuddenly,wereliketheresponseofsomesataniclitany。
"WehadcarriedKurtzintothepilot-house:therewasmoreairthere。Lyingonthecouch,hestaredthroughtheopenshutter。Therewasaneddyinthemassofhumanbodies,andthewomanwithhelmetedheadandtawnycheeksrushedouttotheverybrinkofthestream。
Sheputoutherhands,shoutedsomething,andallthatwildmobtookuptheshoutinaroaringchorusofarticulated,rapid,breathlessutterance。
"’Doyouunderstandthis?’Iasked。
"Hekeptonlookingoutpastmewithfiery,longingeyes,withamingledexpressionofwistfulnessandhate。
Hemadenoanswer,butIsawasmile,asmileofinde-
finablemeaning,appearonhiscolorlesslipsthatamo-
mentaftertwitchedconvulsively。’DoInot?’hesaidslowly,gasping,asifthewordshadbeentornoutofhimbyasupernaturalpower。
"Ipulledthestringofthewhistle,andIdidthisbecauseIsawthepilgrimsondeckgettingouttheirrifleswithanairofanticipatingajollylark。Atthesuddenscreechtherewasamovementofabjectterrorthroughthatwedgedmassofbodies。’Don’t!don’t!
youfrightenthemaway,’criedsomeoneondeckdis-
consolately。Ipulledthestringtimeaftertime。Theybrokeandran,theyleaped,theycrouched,theyswerved,theydodgedtheflyingterrorofthesound。Thethreeredchapshadfallenflat,facedownontheshore,asthoughtheyhadbeenshotdead。Onlythebarbarousandsuperbwomandidnotsomuchasflinch,andstretchedtragicallyherbarearmsafterusoverthesomberandglitteringriver。
"Andthenthatimbecilecrowddownonthedeckstartedtheirlittlefun,andIcouldseenothingmoreforsmoke。
"Thebrowncurrentranswiftlyoutoftheheartofdarkness,bearingusdowntowardstheseawithtwicethespeedofourupwardprogress;andKurtz’slifewasrunningswiftlytoo,ebbing,ebbingoutofhisheartintotheseaofinexorabletime。Themanagerwasveryplacid,hehadnovitalanxietiesnow,hetookusbothinwithacomprehensiveandsatisfiedglance:the’affair’
hadcomeoffaswellascouldbewished。IsawthetimeapproachingwhenIwouldbeleftaloneofthepartyof’unsoundmethod。’Thepilgrimslookeduponmewithdisfavor。Iwas,sotospeak,numberedwiththedead。
ItisstrangehowIacceptedthisunforeseenpartner-
ship,thischoiceofnightmaresforceduponmeinthetenebrouslandinvadedbythesemeanandgreedyphan-
toms。
"Kurtzdiscoursed。Avoice!avoice!Itrangdeeptotheverylast。Itsurvivedhisstrengthtohideinthemagnificentfoldsofeloquencethebarrendarknessofhisheart。Oh,hestruggled!hestruggled!Thewastesofhiswearybrainwerehauntedbyshadowyimagesnow——imagesofwealthandfamerevolvingobsequiouslyroundhisunextinguishablegiftofnobleandloftyexpression。MyIntended,mystation,mycareer,myideas——thesewerethesubjectsfortheocca-
sionalutterancesofelevatedsentiments。TheshadeoftheoriginalKurtzfrequentedthebedsideofthehollowsham,whosefateitwastobeburiedpresentlyinthemoldofprimevalearth。Butboththediabolicloveandtheunearthlyhateofthemysteriesithadpenetratedfoughtforthepossessionofthatsoulsatiatedwithprimitiveemotions,avidoflyingfame,ofshamdis-
tinction,ofalltheappearancesofsuccessandpower。
"Sometimeshewascontemptiblychildish。Hedesiredtohavekingsmeethimatrailway-stationsonhisreturnfromsomeghastlyNowhere,whereheintendedtoac-
complishgreatthings。’Youshowthemyouhaveinyousomethingthatisreallyprofitable,andthentherewillbenolimitstotherecognitionofyourability,’hewouldsay。’Ofcourseyoumusttakecareofthemo-
tives——rightmotives——always。’Thelongreachesthatwerelikeoneandthesamereach,monotonousbendsthatwereexactlyalike,slippedpastthesteamerwiththeirmultitudeofseculartreeslookingpatientlyafterthisgrimyfragmentofanotherworld,theforerunnerofchange,ofconquest,oftrade,ofmassacres,ofblessings。
Ilookedahead——piloting。’Closetheshutter,’saidKurtzsuddenlyoneday;’Ican’tbeartolookatthis。’
Ididso。Therewasasilence。’Oh,butIwillwringyourheartyet!’hecriedattheinvisiblewilderness。
"Webrokedown——asIhadexpected——andhadtolieupforrepairsattheheadofanisland。ThisdelaywasthefirstthingthatshookKurtz’sconfidence。Onemorninghegavemeapacketofpapersandaphoto-
graph,——thelottiedtogetherwithashoe-string。’Keepthisforme,’hesaid。’Thisnoxiousfool’(meaningthemanager)’iscapableofpryingintomyboxeswhenIamnotlooking。’IntheafternoonIsawhim。Hewaslyingonhisbackwithclosedeyes,andIwithdrewquietly,butIheardhimmutter,’Liverightly,die,die……’Ilistened。Therewasnothingmore。Washerehearsingsomespeechinhissleep,orwasitafrag-
mentofaphrasefromsomenewspaperarticle?Hehadbeenwritingforthepapersandmeanttodosoagain,’forthefurtheringofmyideas。It’saduty。’
"Hiswasanimpenetrabledarkness。Ilookedathimasyoupeerdownatamanwhoislyingatthebottomofaprecipicewherethesunnevershines。ButIhadnotmuchtimetogivehim,becauseIwashelpingtheengine-drivertotaketopiecestheleakycylinders,tostraightenabentconnecting-rod,andinothersuchmatters。Ilivedinaninfernalmessofrust,filings,nuts,bolts,spanners,hammers,ratchet-drills——thingsI
abominate,becauseIdon’tgetonwiththem。Itendedthelittleforgewefortunatelyhadaboard;Itoiledwearilyinawretchedscrap-heap——unlessIhadtheshakestoobadtostand。
"OneeveningcominginwithacandleIwasstartledtohearhimsayalittletremulously,’Iamlyinghereinthedarkwaitingfordeath。’Thelightwaswithinafootofhiseyes。Iforcedmyselftomurmur,’Oh,nonsense!’andstoodoverhimasiftransfixed。
"AnythingapproachingthechangethatcameoverhisfeaturesIhaveneverseenbefore,andhopenevertoseeagain。Oh,Iwasn’ttouched。Iwasfascinated。
Itwasasthoughaveilhadbeenrent。Isawonthativoryfacetheexpressionofsomberpride,ofruthlesspower,ofcraventerror——ofanintenseandhopelessdespair。Didhelivehislifeagainineverydetailofdesire,temptation,andsurrenderduringthatsuprememomentofcompleteknowledge?Hecriedinawhisperatsomeimage,atsomevision,——hecriedouttwice,acrythatwasnomorethanabreath——
"’Thehorror!Thehorror!’
"Iblewthecandleoutandleftthecabin。Thepil-
grimsweredininginthemess-room,andItookmyplaceoppositethemanager,wholiftedhiseyestogivemeaquestioningglance,whichIsuccessfullyignored。
Heleanedback,serene,withthatpeculiarsmileofhissealingtheunexpresseddepthsofhismeanness。Acon-
tinuousshowerofsmallfliesstreameduponthelamp,uponthecloth,uponourhandsandfaces。Suddenlythemanager’sboyputhisinsolentblackheadinthedoorway,andsaidinatoneofscathingcontempt——
"’MistahKurtz——hedead。’
"Allthepilgrimsrushedouttosee。Iremained,andwentonwithmydinner。IbelieveIwasconsideredbrutallycallous。However,Ididnoteatmuch。Therewasalampinthere——light,don’tyouknow——andoutsideitwassobeastly,beastlydark。Iwentnomoreneartheremarkablemanwhohadpronouncedajudgmentupontheadventuresofhissoulonthisearth。Thevoicewasgone。Whatelsehadbeenthere?ButIamofcourseawarethatnextdaythepilgrimsburiedsome-
thinginamuddyhole。
"Andthentheyverynearlyburiedme。
"However,asyousee,IdidnotgotojoinKurtzthereandthen。Ididnot。Iremainedtodreamthenightmareouttotheend,andtoshowmyloyaltytoKurtzoncemore。Destiny。Mydestiny!Drollthinglifeis——thatmysteriousarrangementofmercilesslogicforafutilepurpose。Themostyoucanhopefromitissomeknowledgeofyourself——thatcomestoolate——acropofunextinguishableregrets。Ihavewrestledwithdeath。Itisthemostunexcitingcontestyoucanimagine。
Ittakesplaceinanimpalpablegrayness,withnothingunderfoot,withnothingaround,withoutspectators,withoutclamor,withoutglory,withoutthegreatdesireofvictory,withoutthegreatfearofdefeat,inasicklyatmosphereoftepidskepticism,withoutmuchbeliefinyourownright,andstilllessinthatofyouradversary。
Ifsuchistheformofultimatewisdom,thenlifeisagreaterriddlethansomeofusthinkittobe。Iwaswithinahair’s-breadthofthelastopportunityforpro-
nouncement,andIfoundwithhumiliationthatprobablyIwouldhavenothingtosay。ThisisthereasonwhyI
affirmthatKurtzwasaremarkableman。Hehadsome-
thingtosay。Hesaidit。SinceIhadpeepedovertheedgemyself,Iunderstandbetterthemeaningofhisstare,thatcouldnotseetheflameofthecandle,butwaswideenoughtoembracethewholeuniverse,piercingenoughtopenetratealltheheartsthatbeatinthedark-
ness。Hehadsummedup——hehadjudged。’Thehorror!’Hewasaremarkableman。Afterall,thiswastheexpressionofsomesortofbelief;ithadcandor,ithadconviction,ithadavibratingnoteofrevoltinitswhisper,ithadtheappallingfaceofaglimpsedtruth——thestrangecomminglingofdesireandhate。AnditisnotmyownextremityIrememberbest——avisionofgraynesswithoutformfilledwithphysicalpain,andacarelesscontemptfortheevanescenceofallthings——evenofthispainitself。No!ItishisextremitythatIseemtohavelivedthrough。True,hehadmadethatlaststride,hehadsteppedovertheedge,whileIhadbeenpermittedtodrawbackmyhesitatingfoot。Andper-
hapsinthisisthewholedifference;perhapsallthewis-
dom,andalltruth,andallsincerity,arejustcompressedintothatinappreciablemomentoftimeinwhichwestepoverthethresholdoftheinvisible。Perhaps!Iliketothinkmysumming-upwouldnothavebeenawordofcarelesscontempt。Betterhiscry——muchbetter。Itwasanaffirmation,amoralvictorypaidforbyinnumerabledefeats,byabominableterrors,byabominablesatisfac-
tions。Butitwasavictory!ThatiswhyIhavere-
mainedloyaltoKurtztothelast,andevenbeyond,whenalongtimeafterIheardoncemore,nothisownvoice,buttheechoofhismagnificenteloquencethrowntomefromasoulastranslucentlypureasacliffofcrystal。
"No,theydidnotburyme,thoughthereisaperiodoftimewhichIremembermistily,withashudderingwonder,likeapassagethroughsomeinconceivableworldthathadnohopeinitandnodesire。Ifoundmyselfbackinthesepulchralcityresentingthesightofpeoplehurryingthroughthestreetstofilchalittlemoneyfromeachother,todevourtheirinfamouscookery,togulptheirunwholesomebeer,todreamtheirinsignificantandsillydreams。Theytrespasseduponmythoughts。Theywereintruderswhoseknowledgeoflifewastomeanirritatingpretense,becauseIfeltsosuretheycouldnotpossiblyknowthethingsIknew。Theirbearing,whichwassimplythebearingofcommonplaceindividualsgoingabouttheirbusinessintheassuranceofperfectsafety,wasoffensivetomeliketheoutrageousflaunt-
ingsoffollyinthefaceofadangeritisunabletocomprehend。Ihadnoparticulardesiretoenlightenthem,butIhadsomedifficultyinrestrainingmyselffromlaughingintheirfaces,sofullofstupidimpor-
tance。IdaresayIwasnotverywellatthattime。I
totteredaboutthestreets——therewerevariousaffairstosettle——grinningbitterlyatperfectlyrespectableper-
sons。Iadmitmybehaviorwasinexcusable,butthenmytemperaturewasseldomnormalinthesedays。Mydearaunt’sendeavorsto’nurseupmystrength’seemedalto-
getherbesidethemark。Itwasnotmystrengththatwantednursing,itwasmyimaginationthatwantedsoothing。IkeptthebundleofpapersgivenmebyKurtz,notknowingexactlywhattodowithit。Hismotherhaddiedlately,watchedover,asIwastold,byhisIntended。Aclean-shavedman,withanofficialmannerandwearinggold-rimmedspectacles,calledonmeonedayandmadeinquiries,atfirstcircuitous,after-
wardssuavelypressing,aboutwhathewaspleasedtodenominatecertain’documents。’Iwasnotsurprised,becauseIhadhadtworowswiththemanageronthesubjectoutthere。Ihadrefusedtogiveupthesmallestscrapoutofthatpackage,andItookthesameattitudewiththespectacledman。Hebecamedarklymenacingatlast,andwithmuchheatarguedthattheCompanyhadtherighttoeverybitofinformationaboutits’ter-
ritories。’And,saidhe,’Mr。Kurtz’sknowledgeofunexploredregionsmusthavebeennecessarilyextensiveandpeculiar——owingtohisgreatabilitiesandtothedeplorablecircumstancesinwhichhehadbeenplaced:
therefore’——IassuredhimMr。Kurtz’sknowledge,howeverextensive,didnotbearupontheproblemsofcommerceoradministration。Heinvokedthenthenameofscience。’Itwouldbeanincalculablelossif,’&c。,&c。
Iofferedhimthereportonthe’SuppressionofSavageCustoms,’withthepostscriptumtornoff。Hetookitupeagerly,butendedbysniffingatitwithanairofcontempt。’Thisisnotwhatwehadarighttoexpect,’
heremarked。’Expectnothingelse,’Isaid。’Thereareonlyprivateletters。’Hewithdrewuponsomethreatoflegalproceedings,andIsawhimnomore;butan-
otherfellow,callinghimselfKurtz’scousin,appearedtwodayslater,andwasanxioustohearallthedetailsabouthisdearrelative’slastmoments。IncidentallyhegavemetounderstandthatKurtzhadbeenessentiallyagreatmusician。’Therewasthemakingofanim-
mensesuccess,’saidtheman,whowasanorganist,I
believe,withlankgrayhairflowingoveragreasycoat-
collar。Ihadnoreasontodoubthisstatement;andtothisdayIamunabletosaywhatwasKurtz’spro-
fession,whetherheeverhadany——whichwasthegreatestofhistalents。Ihadtakenhimforapainterwhowroteforthepapers,orelseforajournalistwhocouldpaint——buteventhecousin(whotooksnuffduringtheinter-
view)couldnottellmewhathehadbeen——exactly。Hewasauniversalgenius——onthatpointIagreedwiththeoldchap,whothereuponblewhisnosenoisilyintoalargecottonhandkerchiefandwithdrewinsenileagita-
tion,bearingoffsomefamilylettersandmemorandawithoutimportance。Ultimatelyajournalistanxioustoknowsomethingofthefateofhis’dearcolleague’
turnedup。ThisvisitorinformedmeKurtz’spropersphereoughttohavebeenpolitics’onthepopularside。’
Hehadfurrystraighteyebrows,bristlyhaircroppedshort,aneye-glassonabroadribbon,and,becomingexpansive,confessedhisopinionthatKurtzreallycouldn’twriteabit——’butheavens!howthatmancouldtalk!Heelectrifiedlargemeetings。Hehadfaith——
don’tyousee?——hehadthefaith。Hecouldgethimselftobelieveanything——anything。Hewouldhavebeenasplendidleaderofanextremeparty。’’Whatparty?’
Iasked。’Anyparty,’answeredtheother。’Hewasan——an——extremist。’DidInotthinkso?Iassented。
DidIknow,heasked,withasuddenflashofcuriosity,’whatitwasthathadinducedhimtogooutthere?’
’Yes,’saidI,andforthwithhandedhimthefamousReportforpublication,ifhethoughtfit。Heglancedthroughithurriedly,mumblingallthetime,judged’itwoulddo,’andtookhimselfoffwiththisplunder。
"ThusIwasleftatlastwithaslimpacketoflettersandthegirl’sportrait。Shestruckmeasbeautiful——
Imeanshehadabeautifulexpression。Iknowthatthesunlightcanbemadetolietoo,yetonefeltthatnomanipulationoflightandposecouldhaveconveyedthedelicateshadeoftruthfulnessuponthosefeatures。Sheseemedreadytolistenwithoutmentalreservation,with-
outsuspicion,withoutathoughtforherself。Icon-
cludedIwouldgoandgiveherbackherportraitandthoselettersmyself。Curiosity?Yes;andalsosomeotherfeelingperhaps。AllthathadbeenKurtz’shadpassedoutofmyhands:hissoul,hisbody,hisstation,hisplans,hisivory,hiscareer。ThereremainedonlyhismemoryandhisIntended——andIwantedtogivethatuptootothepast,inaway,——tosurrenderpersonallyallthatremainedofhimwithmetothatoblivionwhichisthelastwordofourcommonfate。Idon’tdefendmyself。IhadnoclearperceptionofwhatitwasI
reallywanted。Perhapsitwasanimpulseofuncon-
sciousloyalty,orthefulfillmentofoneoftheseironicnecessitiesthatlurkinthefactsofhumanexistence。
Idon’tknow。Ican’ttell。ButIwent。
"Ithoughthismemorywasliketheothermemoriesofthedeadthataccumulateineveryman’slife,——avagueimpressonthebrainofshadowsthathadfallenonitintheirswiftandfinalpassage;butbeforethehighandponderousdoor,betweenthetallhousesofastreetasstillanddecorousasawell-keptalleyinacemetery,I
hadavisionofhimonthestretcher,openinghismouthvoraciously,asiftodevouralltheearthwithallitsmankind。Helivedthenbeforeme;helivedasmuchashehadeverlived——ashadowinsatiableofsplendidappearances,offrightfulrealities;ashadowdarkerthantheshadowofthenight,anddrapednoblyinthefoldsofagorgeouseloquence。Thevisionseemedtoenterthehousewithme——thestretcher,thephantom-bearers,thewildcrowdofobedientworshipers,thegloomoftheforests,theglitterofthereachbetweenthemurkybends,thebeatofthedrum,regularandmuffledlikethebeat-
ingofaheart——theheartofaconqueringdarkness。Itwasamomentoftriumphforthewilderness,aninvad-
ingandvengefulrushwhich,itseemedtome,Iwouldhavetokeepbackaloneforthesalvationofanothersoul。AndthememoryofwhatIhadheardhimsayafarthere,withthehornedshapesstirringatmyback,intheglowoffires,withinthepatientwoods,thosebrokenphrasescamebacktome,wereheardagainintheirominousandterrifyingsimplicity。Irememberedhisabjectpleading,hisabjectthreats,thecolossalscaleofhisviledesires,themeanness,thetorment,thetem-
pestuousanguishofhissoul。AndlateronIseemedtoseehiscollectedlanguidmanner,whenhesaidoneday,’Thislotofivorynowisreallymine。TheCompanydidnotpayforit。Icollecteditmyselfataverygreatpersonalrisk。Iamafraidtheywilltrytoclaimitastheirsthough。H’m。Itisadifficultcase。WhatdoyouthinkIoughttodo——resist?Eh?Iwantnomorethanjustice。’……Hewantednomorethanjustice——
nomorethanjustice。Irangthebellbeforeamahoganydooronthefirstfloor,andwhileIwaitedheseemedtostareatmeoutoftheglassypanel——starewiththatwideandimmensestareembracing,condemning,loathingalltheuniverse。Iseemedtohearthewhisperedcry,’Thehorror!Thehorror!’
"Theduskwasfalling。Ihadtowaitinaloftydraw-
ing-roomwiththreelongwindowsfromfloortoceilingthatwerelikethreeluminousandbedrapedcolumns。
Thebentgiltlegsandbacksofthefurnitureshoneinindistinctcurves。Thetallmarblefireplacehadacoldandmonumentalwhiteness。Agrandpianostoodmas-
sivelyinacorner,withdarkgleamsontheflatsur-
faceslikeasomberandpolishedsarcophagus。Ahighdooropened——closed。Irose。
"Shecameforward,allinblack,withapalehead,floatingtowardsmeinthedusk。Shewasinmourning。
Itwasmorethanayearsincehisdeath,morethanayearsincethenewscame;sheseemedasthoughshewouldrememberandmournforever。Shetookbothmyhandsinhersandmurmured,’Ihadheardyouwerecoming。’Inoticedshewasnotveryyoung——I
meannotgirlish。Shehadamaturecapacityforfidelity,forbelief,forsuffering。Theroomseemedtohavegrowndarker,asifallthesadlightofthecloudyeveninghadtakenrefugeonherforehead。Thisfairhair,thispalevisage,thispurebrow,seemedsurroundedbyanashyhalofromwhichthedarkeyeslookedoutatme。Theirglancewasguileless,profound,confident,andtrustful。Shecarriedhersorrowfulheadasthoughshewereproudofthatsorrow,asthoughshewouldsay,I
——Ialoneknowhowtomournforhimashedeserves。
Butwhilewewerestillshakinghands,suchalookofawfuldesolationcameuponherfacethatIperceivedshewasoneofthosecreaturesthatarenottheplaythingsofTime。Forherhehaddiedonlyyesterday。And,byJove!theimpressionwassopowerfulthatformetooheseemedtohavediedonlyyesterday——nay,thisveryminute。Isawherandhiminthesameinstantoftime——hisdeathandhersorrow——Isawhersorrowintheverymomentofhisdeath。Doyouunderstand?Isawthemtogether——Iheardthemtogether。Shehadsaid,withadeepcatchofthebreath,’Ihavesurvived;’whilemystrainedearsseemedtoheardistinctly,mingledwithhertoneofdespairingregret,thesumming-upwhisperofhiseternalcondemnation。IaskedmyselfwhatI
wasdoingthere,withasensationofpanicinmyheartasthoughIhadblunderedintoaplaceofcruelandabsurdmysteriesnotfitforahumanbeingtobehold。
Shemotionedmetoachair。Wesatdown。Ilaidthepacketgentlyonthelittletable,andsheputherhandoverit……’Youknewhimwell,’shemurmured,afteramomentofmourningsilence。
"’Intimacygrowsquickoutthere,’Isaid。’Iknewhimaswellasitispossibleforonemantoknowanother。’
"’Andyouadmiredhim,’shesaid。’Itwasimpossibletoknowhimandnottoadmirehim。Wasit?’
"’Hewasaremarkableman,’Isaid,unsteadily。Thenbeforetheappealingfixityofhergaze,thatseemedtowatchformorewordsonmylips,Iwenton,’Itwasimpossiblenotto——’
"’Lovehim,’shefinishedeagerly,silencingmeintoanappalleddumbness。’Howtrue!howtrue!ButwhenyouthinkthatnooneknewhimsowellasI!I
hadallhisnobleconfidence。Iknewhimbest。’
"’Youknewhimbest,’Irepeated。Andperhapsshedid。Butwitheverywordspokentheroomwasgrowingdarker,andonlyherforehead,smoothandwhite,re-
mainedilluminedbytheunextinguishablelightofbeliefandlove。
"’Youwerehisfriend,’shewenton。’Hisfriend,’
sherepeated,alittlelouder。’Youmusthavebeen,ifhehadgivenyouthis,andsentyoutome。IfeelI
canspeaktoyou——andoh!Imustspeak。Iwantyou——youwhohaveheardhislastwords——toknowIhavebeenworthyofhim……Itisnotpride……Yes!
IamproudtoknowIunderstoodhimbetterthanany-
oneonearth——hetoldmesohimself。AndsincehismotherdiedIhavehadnoone——noone——to——to——’
"Ilistened。Thedarknessdeepened。Iwasnotevensurewhetherhehadgivenmetherightbundle。Irathersuspecthewantedmetotakecareofanotherbatchofhispaperswhich,afterhisdeath,Isawthemanagerexaminingunderthelamp。Andthegirltalked,easingherpaininthecertitudeofmysympathy;shetalkedasthirstymendrink。IhadheardthatherengagementwithKurtzhadbeendisapprovedbyherpeople。Hewasn’trichenoughorsomething。AndindeedIdon’tknowwhetherhehadnotbeenapauperallhislife。Hehadgivenmesomereasontoinferthatitwashisim-
patienceofcomparativepovertythatdrovehimoutthere。
"’……Whowasnothisfriendwhohadheardhimspeakonce?’shewassaying。’Hedrewmentowardshimbywhatwasbestinthem。’Shelookedatmewithintensity。’Itisthegiftofthegreat,’shewenton,andthesoundofherlowvoiceseemedtohavetheac-
companimentofalltheothersounds,fullofmystery,desolation,andsorrow,Ihadeverheard——therippleoftheriver,thesoughingofthetreesswayedbythewind,themurmursofwildcrowds,thefaintringofincom-
prehensiblewordscriedfromafar,thewhisperofavoicespeakingfrombeyondthethresholdofaneternaldarkness。’Butyouhaveheardhim!Youknow!’shecried。
"’Yes,Iknow,’Isaidwithsomethinglikedespairinmyheart,butbowingmyheadbeforethefaiththatwasinher,beforethatgreatandsavingillusionthatshonewithanunearthlyglowinthedarkness,inthetriumphantdarknessfromwhichIcouldnothavede-
fendedher——fromwhichIcouldnotevendefendmyself。
"’Whatalosstome——tous!’——shecorrectedherselfwithbeautifulgenerosity;thenaddedinamurmur,’Totheworld。’BythelastgleamsoftwilightIcouldseetheglitterofhereyes,fulloftears——oftearsthatwouldnotfall。
"’Ihavebeenveryhappy——veryfortunate——veryproud,’shewenton。’Toofortunate。Toohappyforalittlewhile。AndnowIamunhappyfor——forlife。’
"Shestoodup;herfairhairseemedtocatchalltheremaininglightinaglimmerofgold。Irosetoo。
"’Andofallthis,’shewenton,mournfully,’ofallhispromise,andofallhisgreatness,ofhisgenerousmind,ofhisnobleheart,nothingremains——nothingbutamemory。YouandI——’
"’Weshallalwaysrememberhim,’Isaid,hastily。
"’No!’shecried。’Itisimpossiblethatallthisshouldbelost——thatsuchalifeshouldbesacrificedtoleavenothing——butsorrow。Youknowwhatvastplanshehad。Iknewofthemtoo——Icouldnotperhapsunder-
stand,——butothersknewofthem。Somethingmustre-
main。Hiswords,atleast,havenotdied。’
"’Hiswordswillremain,’Isaid。
"’Andhisexample,’shewhisperedtoherself。’Menlookeduptohim,——hisgoodnessshoneineveryact。Hisexample——’
"’True,’Isaid;’hisexampletoo。Yes,hisexample。
Iforgotthat。’
"’ButIdonot。Icannot——Icannotbelieve——notyet。
IcannotbelievethatIshallneverseehimagain,thatnobodywillseehimagain,never,never,never。’
"Sheputoutherarmsasifafteraretreatingfigure,stretchingthemblackandwithclaspedpalehandsacrossthefadingandnarrowsheenofthewindow。Neverseehim!Isawhimclearlyenoughthen。IshallseethiseloquentphantomaslongasIlive,andIshallseehertoo,atragicandfamiliarShade,resemblinginthisges-
tureanotherone,tragicalso,andbedeckedwithpower-
lesscharms,stretchingbarebrownarmsovertheglitteroftheinfernalstream,thestreamofdarkness。Shesaidsuddenlyverylow,’Hediedashelived。’
"’Hisend,’saidI,withdullangerstirringinme,’wasineverywayworthyofhislife。’
"’AndIwasnotwithhim,’shemurmured。Myangersubsidedbeforeafeelingofinfinitepity。
"’Everythingthatcouldbedone——’Imumbled。
"’Ah,butIbelievedinhimmorethananyoneonearth——morethanhisownmother,morethan——himself。
Heneededme!Me!Iwouldhavetreasuredeverysigh,everyword,everysign,everyglance。’
"Ifeltlikeachillgriponmychest。’Don’t,’Isaid,inamuffledvoice。
"’Forgiveme。I——I——havemournedsolonginsilence——insilence……Youwerewithhim——tothelast?
Ithinkofhisloneliness。NobodyneartounderstandhimasIwouldhaveunderstood。Perhapsnoonetohear……’
"’Totheveryend,’Isaid,shakily。’Iheardhisverylastwords……’Istoppedinafright。
"’Repeatthem,’shesaidinaheart-brokentone。’I
want——Iwant——something——something——to——tolivewith。’
"Iwasonthepointofcryingather,’Don’tyouhearthem?’Theduskwasrepeatingtheminapersistentwhisperallaroundus,inawhisperthatseemedtoswellmenacinglylikethefirstwhisperofarisingwind。’Thehorror!thehorror!’
"’Hislastword——tolivewith,’shemurmured。’Don’tyouunderstandIlovedhim——Ilovedhim——Ilovedhim!’
"Ipulledmyselftogetherandspokeslowly。
"’Thelastwordhepronouncedwas——yourname。’
"Iheardalightsigh,andthenmyheartstoodstill,stoppeddeadshortbyanexultingandterriblecry,bythecryofinconceivabletriumphandofunspeakablepain。’Iknewit——Iwassure!’……Sheknew。Shewassure。Iheardherweeping;shehadhiddenherfaceinherhands。ItseemedtomethatthehousewouldcollapsebeforeIcouldescape,thattheheavenswouldfalluponmyhead。Butnothinghappened。Theheavensdonotfallforsuchatrifle。Wouldtheyhavefallen,Iwonder,ifIhadrenderedKurtzthatjusticewhichwashisdue?Hadn’thesaidhewantedonlyjus-
tice?ButIcouldn’t。Icouldnottellher。Itwouldhavebeentoodark——toodarkaltogether……"
Marlowceased,andsatapart,indistinctandsilent,intheposeofameditatingBuddha。Nobodymovedforatime。"Wehavelostthefirstoftheebb,"saidtheDi-
rector,suddenly。Iraisedmyhead。Theoffingwasbarredbyablackbankofclouds,andthetranquilwater-
wayleadingtotheuttermostendsoftheearthflowedsomberunderanovercastsky——seemedtoleadintotheheartofanimmensedarkness。