Ithasadeeper,and,Iventuretothink,amoreestimableoriginthanthecapriceofemotionallawlessness。Itis,indeed,lawful,insomuchthatitisgiven(reluctantly)foraconsideration,forseveralconsiderations。Thereisthatrobustness,forinstance,sooftenthesignofgoodmoralbalance。That’saconsideration。Itisnot,indeed,pleasanttobestampedupon,buttheverythoroughnessoftheoperation,implyingnotonlyacarefulreading,butsomerealinsightintoworkwhosequalitiesanddefects,whatevertheymaybe,arenotsomuchonthesurface,issomethingtobethankfulforinviewofthefactthatitmayhappentoone’sworktobecondemnedwithoutbeingreadatall。Thisisthemostfatuousadventurethatcanwellhappentoawriterventuringhissoulamongcriticisms。Itcandoonenoharm,ofcourse,butitisdisagreeable。Itisdisagreeableinthesamewayasdiscoveringathree-card-trickmanamongadecentlotoffolkinathird-classcompartment。Theopenimpudenceofthewholetransaction,appealinginsidiouslytothefollyandcredulityofmankind,thebrazen,shamelesspatter,proclaimingthefraudopenlywhileinsistingonthefairnessofthegame,giveoneafeelingofsickeningdisgust。Thehonestviolenceofaplainmanplayingafairgamefairly——evenifhemeanstoknockyouover——mayappearshocking,butitremainswithinthepaleofdecency。Damagingasitmaybe,itisinnosenseoffensive。
Onemaywellfeelsomeregardforhonesty,evenifpractiseduponone’sownvilebody。Butitisveryobviousthatanenemyofthatsortwillnotbestayedbyexplanationsorplacatedbyapologies。WereItoadvancethepleaofyouthinexcuseofthenaivenesstobefoundinthesepages,hewouldbelikelytosay"Bosh!"inacolumnandahalfoffierceprint。Yetawriterisnoolderthanhisfirstpublishedbook,and,notwithstandingthevainappearancesofdecaywhichattendusinthistransitorylife,Istandherewiththewreathofonlyfifteenshortsummersonmybrow。
Withtheremark,then,thatatsuchtenderagesomenaivenessoffeelingandexpressionisexcusable,Iproceedtoadmitthat,uponthewhole,mypreviousstateofexistencewasnotagoodequipmentforaliterarylife。PerhapsIshouldnothaveusedthewordliterary。Thatwordpresupposesanintimacyofacquaintancewithletters,aturnofmind,andamanneroffeelingtowhichI
darelaynoclaim。Ionlyloveletters;buttheloveoflettersdoesnotmakealiteraryman,anymorethantheloveoftheseamakesaseaman。Anditisverypossible,too,thatIlovethelettersinthesamewayaliterarymanmaylovetheseahelooksatfromtheshore——asceneofgreatendeavourandofgreatachievementschangingthefaceoftheworld,thegreatopenwaytoallsortsofundiscoveredcountries。No,perhapsIhadbettersaythatthelifeatsea——andIdon’tmeanameretasteofit,butagoodbroadspanofyears,somethingthatreallycountsasrealservice——isnot,uponthewhole,agoodequipmentforawritinglife。Godforbid,though,thatIshouldbethoughtofasdenyingmymastersofthequarter-deck。Iamnotcapableofthatsortofapostasy。Ihaveconfessedmyattitudeofpietytowardtheirshadesinthreeorfourtales,andifanymanonearthmorethananotherneedstobetruetohimselfashehopestobesaved,itiscertainlythewriteroffiction。
WhatImeanttosay,simply,isthatthequarter-decktrainingdoesnotprepareonesufficientlyforthereceptionofliterarycriticism。Onlythat,andnomore。Butthisdefectisnotwithoutgravity。Ifitbepermissibletotwist,invert,adapt(andspoil)Mr。AnatoleFrance’sdefinitionofagoodcritic,thenletussaythatthegoodauthorishewhocontemplateswithoutmarkedjoyorexcessivesorrowtheadventuresofhissoulamongcriticisms。Farbefrommetheintentiontomisleadanattentivepublicintothebeliefthatthereisnocriticismatsea。Thatwouldbedishonest,andevenimpolite。Everthingcanbefoundatsea,accordingtothespiritofyourquest——strife,peace,romance,naturalismofthemostpronouncedkind,ideals,boredom,disgust,inspiration——andeveryconceivableopportunity,includingtheopportunitytomakeafoolofyourself,exactlyasinthepursuitofliterature。Butthequarter-deckcriticismissomewhatdifferentfromliterarycriticism。Thismuchtheyhaveincommon,thatbeforetheoneandtheothertheansweringback,asageneralrule,doesnotpay。
Yes,youfindcriticismatsea,andevenappreciation——Itellyoueverythingistobefoundonsaltwater——criticismgenerallyimpromptu,andalwaysvivavoce,whichistheoutward,obviousdifferencefromtheliteraryoperationofthatkind,withconsequentfreshnessandvigourwhichmaybelackingintheprintedword。Withappreciation,whichcomesattheend,whenthecriticandthecriticisedareabouttopart,itisotherwise。
Theseaappreciationofone’shumbletalentshasthepermanencyofthewrittenword,seldomthecharmofvariety,isformalinitsphrasing。Theretheliterarymasterhasthesuperiority,thoughhe,too,canineffectbutsay——andoftensaysitintheveryphrase——"Icanhighlyrecommend。"Onlyusuallyheusestheword"We,"therebeingsomeoccultvirtueinthefirstpersonpluralwhichmakesitspeciallyfitforcriticalandroyaldeclarations。Ihaveasmallhandfuloftheseseaappreciations,signedbyvariousmasters,yellowingslowlyinmywriting-table’slefthanddrawer,rustlingundermyreverenttouch,likeahandfulofdryleavespluckedforatendermementofromthetreeofknowledge。Strange!Itseemsthatitisforthesefewbitsofpaper,headedbythenamesofafewScotsandEnglishshipmasters,thatIhavefacedtheastonishedindignations,themockeries,andthereproachesofasorthardtobearforaboyoffifteen;thatIhavebeenchargedwiththewantofpatriotism,thewantofsense,andthewantofheart,too;thatIwentthroughagoniesofself-conflictandshedsecrettearsnotafew,andhadthebeautiesoftheFurcaPassspoiledforme,andhavebeencalledan"incorrigibleDonQuixote,"inallusiontothebook-bornmadnessoftheknight。Forthatspoil!Theyrustle,thosebitsofpaper——somedozenoftheminall。Inthatfaint,ghostlysoundtherelivethememoriesoftwentyyears,thevoicesofroughmennownomore,thestrongvoiceoftheeverlastingwinds,andthewhisperofamysteriousspell,themurmurofthegreatsea,whichmusthavesomehowreachedmyinlandcradleandenteredmyunconsciousear,likethatformulaofMohammedanfaiththeMussulmanfatherwhispersintotheearofhisnew-borninfant,makinghimoneofthefaithfulalmostwithhisfirstbreath。IdonotknowwhetherIhavebeenagoodseaman,butI
knowIhavebeenaveryfaithfulone。And,afterall,thereisthathandfulof"characters"fromvariousshipstoprovethatalltheseyearshavenotbeenaltogetheradream。Theretheyare,brief,andmonotonousintone,butassuggestivebitsofwritingtomeasanyinspiredpagetobefoundinliterature。Butthen,yousee,Ihavebeencalledromantic。Well,thatcan’tbehelped。Butstay。IseemtorememberthatIhavebeencalledarealist,also。Andasthatcharge,too,canbemadeout,letustrytoliveuptoit,atwhatevercost,forachange。Withthisendinview,Iwillconfidetoyoucoyly,andonlybecausethereisnooneabouttoseemyblushesbythelightofthemidnightlamp,thatthesesuggestivebitsofquarter-deckappreciation,oneandall,containthewords"strictlysober。"
DidIoverhearacivilmurmur,"That’sverygratifying,tobesure?"Well,yes,itisgratifying——thankyou。Itisatleastasgratifyingtobecertifiedsoberastobecertifiedromantic,thoughsuchcertificateswouldnotqualifyoneforthesecretaryshipofatemperanceassociationorforthepostofofficialtroubadourtosomelordlydemocraticinstitutionsuchastheLondonCountyCouncil,forinstance。Theaboveprosaicreflectionisputdownhereonlyinordertoprovethegeneralsobrietyofmyjudgmentinmundaneaffairs。Imakeapointofitbecauseacoupleofyearsago,acertainshortstoryofminebeingpublishedinaFrenchtranslation,aParisiancritic——IamalmostcertainitwasM。GustaveKahninthe"GilBlas"——givingmeashortnotice,summeduphisrapidimpressionofthewriter’squalityinthewordsunpuissantreveur。Sobeit!Whocouldcavilatthewordsofafriendlyreader?Yetperhapsnotsuchanunconditionaldreamerasallthat。IwillmakeboldtosaythatneitheratseanorashorehaveIeverlostthesenseofresponsibility。Thereismorethanonesortofintoxication。
EvenbeforethemostseductivereveriesIhaveremainedmindfulofthatsobrietyofinteriorlife,thatasceticismofsentiment,inwhichalonethenakedformoftruth,suchasoneconceivesit,suchasonefeelsit,canberenderedwithoutshame。Itisbutamaudlinandindecentveritythatcomesoutthroughthestrengthofwine。Ihavetriedtobeasoberworkerallmylife——allmytwolives。Ididsofromtaste,nodoubt,havinganinstinctivehorroroflosingmysenseoffullself-possession,butalsofromartisticconviction。Yettherearesomanypitfallsoneachsideofthetruepaththat,havinggonesomeway,andfeelingalittlebatteredandweary,asamiddle-agedtravellerwillfromthemeredailydifficultiesofthemarch,IaskmyselfwhetherIhavekeptalways,alwaysfaithfultothatsobrietywhereinthereispowerandtruthandpeace。
Astomyseasobriety,thatisquiteproperlycertifiedunderthesign-manualofseveraltrustworthyshipmastersofsomestandingintheirtime。Iseemtohearyourpolitemurmurthat"Surelythismighthavebeentakenforgranted。"Well,no。Itmightnothavebeen。ThatAugustacademicalbody,theMarineDepartmentoftheBoardofTrade,takesnothingforgrantedinthegrantingofitslearneddegrees。ByitsregulationsissuedunderthefirstMerchantShippingAct,theverywordSOBERmustbewritten,orawholesackful,aton,amountainofthemostenthusiasticappreciationwillavailyounothing。Thedooroftheexaminationroomsshallremainclosedtoyourtearsandentreaties。ThemostfanaticaladvocateoftemperancecouldnotbemorepitilesslyfierceinhisrectitudethantheMarineDepartmentoftheBoardofTrade。AsIhavebeenfacetofaceatvarioustimeswithalltheexaminersofthePortofLondoninmygeneration,therecanbenodoubtastotheforceandthecontinuityofmyabstemiousness。Threeofthemwereexaminersinseamanship,anditwasmyfatetobedeliveredintothehandsofeachofthematproperintervalsofseaservice。Thefirstofall,tall,spare,withaperfectlywhiteheadandmustache,aquiet,kindlymanner,andanairofbenignintelligence,must,Iamforcedtoconclude,havebeenunfavourablyimpressedbysomethinginmyappearance。
Hisold,thinhandslooselyclaspedrestingonhiscrossedlegs,hebeganbyanelementaryquestion,inamildvoice,andwenton,wenton……Itlastedforhours,forhours。HadIbeenastrangemicrobewithpotentialitiesofdeadlymischieftotheMerchantServiceIcouldnothavebeensubmittedtoamoremicroscopicexamination。Greatlyreassuredbyhisapparentbenevolence,Ihadbeenatfirstveryalertinmyanswers。Butatlengththefeelingofmybraingettingaddledcreptuponme。
Andstillthepassionlessprocesswenton,withasenseofuntoldageshavingbeenspentalreadyonmerepreliminaries。ThenIgotfrightened。Iwasnotfrightenedofbeingplucked;thateventualitydidnotevenpresentitselftomymind。Itwassomethingmuchmoreseriousandweird。"Thisancientperson,"I
saidtomyself,terrified,"issonearhisgravethathemusthavelostallnotionoftime。Heisconsideringthisexaminationintermsofeternity。Itisallverywellforhim。Hisraceisrun。ButImayfindmyselfcomingoutofthisroomintotheworldofmenastranger,friendless,forgottenbymyverylandlady,evenwereIableafterthisendlessexperiencetorememberthewaytomyhiredhome。"Thisstatementisnotsomuchofaverbalexaggerationasmaybesupposed。SomeveryqueerthoughtspassedthroughmyheadwhileIwasconsideringmyanswers;thoughtswhichhadnothingtodowithseamanship,noryetwithanythingreasonableknowntothisearth。IverilybelievethatattimesIwaslight-headedinasortoflanguidway。Atlasttherefellasilence,andthat,too,seemedtolastforages,while,bendingoverhisdesk,theexaminerwroteoutmypass-slipslowlywithanoiselesspen。Heextendedthescrapofpapertomewithoutaword,inclinedhiswhiteheadgravelytomypartingbow……
WhenIgotoutoftheroomIfeltlimplyflat,likeasqueezedlemon,andthedoorkeeperinhisglasscage,whereIstoppedtogetmyhatandtiphimashilling,said:
"Well!Ithoughtyouwerenevercomingout。"
"HowlonghaveIbeeninthere?"Iasked,faintly。
Hepulledouthiswatch。
"Hekeptyou,sir,justunderthreehours。Idon’tthinkthiseverhappenedwithanyofthegentlemenbefore。"
ItwasonlywhenIgotoutofthebuildingthatIbegantowalkonair。Andthehumananimalbeingaversefromchangeandtimidbeforetheunknown,IsaidtomyselfthatIreallywouldnotmindbeingexaminedbythesamemanonafutureoccasion。Butwhenthetimeofordealcameroundagainthedoorkeeperletmeintoanotherroom,withthenowfamiliarparaphernaliaofmodelsofshipsandtackle,aboardforsignalsonthewall,abig,longtablecoveredwithofficialformsandhavinganunriggedmastfixedtotheedge。Thesolitarytenantwasunknowntomebysight,thoughnotbyreputation,whichwassimplyexecrable。
Shortandsturdy,asfarasIcouldjudge,cladinanoldbrownmorning-suit,hesatleaningonhiselbow,hishandshadinghiseyes,andhalfavertedfromthechairIwastooccupyontheothersideofthetable。Hewasmotionless,mysterious,remote,enigmatical,withsomethingmournful,too,inthepose,likethatstatueofGiugliano(Ithink)deMedicishadinghisfaceonthetombbyMichaelAngelo,though,ofcourse,hewasfar,farfrombeingbeautiful。Hebeganbytryingtomakemetalknonsense。
ButIhadbeenwarnedofthatfiendishtrait,andcontradictedhimwithgreatassurance。Afterawhileheleftoff。Sofargood。Buthisimmobility,thethickelbowonthetable,theabrupt,unhappyvoice,theshadedandavertedfacegrewmoreandmoreimpressive。Hekeptinscrutablysilentforamoment,andthen,placingmeinashipofacertainsize,atsea,underconditionsofweather,season,locality,etc。——allveryclearandprecise——orderedmetoexecuteacertainmanoeuvre。BeforeIwashalfthroughwithithedidsomematerialdamagetotheship。
DirectlyIhadgrappledwiththedifficultyhecausedanothertopresentitself,andwhenthat,too,wasmethestuckanothershipbeforeme,creatingaverydangeroussituation。Ifeltslightlyoutragedbythisingenuityinpilingtroubleuponaman。
"Iwouldn’thavegotintothatmess,"Isuggested,mildly。"I
couldhaveseenthatshipbefore。"
Heneverstirredtheleastbit。
"No,youcouldn’t。Theweather’sthick。"
"Oh!Ididn’tknow,"Iapologizedblankly。
IsupposethatafterallImanagedtostaveoffthesmashwithsufficientapproachtoverisimilitude,andtheghastlybusinesswenton。Youmustunderstandthattheschemeofthetesthewasapplyingtomewas,Igathered,ahomewardpassage——thesortofpassageIwouldnotwishtomybitterestenemy。Thatimaginaryshipseemedtolabourunderamostcomprehensivecurse。It’snouseenlargingonthesenever-endingmisfortunes;sufficeittosaythatlongbeforetheendIwouldhavewelcomedwithgratitudeanopportunitytoexchangeintotheFlyingDutchman。FinallyheshovedmeintotheNorthSea(Isuppose)andprovidedmewithaleeshorewithoutlyingsand-banks——theDutchcoast,presumably。
Distance,eightmiles。Theevidenceofsuchimplacableanimositydeprivedmeofspeechforquitehalfaminute。
"Well,"hesaid——forourpacehadbeenverysmart,indeed,tillthen。
"Iwillhavetothinkalittle,sir。"
"Doesn’tlookasifthereweremuchtimetothink,"hemuttered,sardonically,fromunderhishand。
"No,sir,"Isaid,withsomewarmth。"Notonboardaship,I
couldsee。ButsomanyaccidentshavehappenedthatIreallycan’trememberwhatthere’sleftformetoworkwith。"
Stillhalfaverted,andwithhiseyesconcealed,hemadeunexpectedlyagruntingremark。
"You’vedoneverywell。"
"HaveIthetwoanchorsatthebow,sir?"Iasked。
"Yes。"
Ipreparedmyselfthen,asalasthopefortheship,toletthembothgointhemosteffectualmanner,whenhisinfernalsystemoftestingresourcefulnesscameintoplayagain。
"Butthere’sonlyonecable。You’velosttheother。"
Itwasexasperating。
"ThenIwouldbackthem,ifIcould,andtailtheheaviesthawseronboardontheendofthechainbeforelettinggo,andifshepartedfromthat,whichisquitelikely,Iwouldjustdonothing。
Shewouldhavetogo。"
"Nothingmoretodo,eh?"
"No,sir。Icoulddonomore。"
Hegaveabitterhalf-laugh。
"Youcouldalwayssayyourprayers。"
Hegotup,stretchedhimself,andyawnedslightly。Itwasasallow,strong,unamiableface。Heputme,inasurly,boredfashion,throughtheusualquestionsastolightsandsignals,andIescapedfromtheroomthankfully——passed!Fortyminutes!
AndagainIwalkedonairalongTowerHill,wheresomanygoodmenhadlosttheirheadsbecause,Isuppose,theywerenotresourcefulenoughtosavethem。AndinmyheartofheartsIhadnoobjectiontomeetingthatexamineroncemorewhenthethirdandlastordealbecamedueinanotheryearorso。IevenhopedI
should。Iknewtheworstofhimnow,andfortyminutesisnotanunreasonabletime。Yes,Idistinctlyhoped……
Butnotabitofit。WhenIpresentedmyselftobeexaminedformastertheexaminerwhoreceivedmewasshort,plump,witharound,softfaceingray,fluffywhiskers,andfresh,loquaciouslips。
Hecommencedoperationswithaneasygoing"Let’ssee。H’m。
Supposeyoutellmeallyouknowofcharter-parties。"Hekeptitupinthatstyleallthrough,wanderingoffintheshapeofcommentintobitsoutofhisownlife,thenpullinghimselfupshortandreturningtothebusinessinhand。Itwasveryinteresting。"What’syourideaofajury-ruddernow?"hequeried,suddenly,attheendofaninstructiveanecdotebearinguponapointofstowage。
IwarnedhimthatIhadnoexperienceofalostrudderatsea,andgavehimtwoclassicalexamplesofmakeshiftsoutofatext-book。Inexchangehedescribedtomeajury-rudderhehadinventedhimselfyearsbefore,whenincommandofathree-thousand-tonsteamer。Itwas,Ideclare,thecleverestcontrivanceimaginable。"Maybeofusetoyousomeday,"heconcluded。"Youwillgointosteampresently。Everybodygoesintosteam。"
Therehewaswrong。Ineverwentintosteam——notreally。IfI
onlylivelongenoughIshallbecomeabizarrerelicofadeadbarbarism,asortofmonstrousantiquity,theonlyseamanofthedarkageswhohadnevergoneintosteam——notreally。
BeforetheexaminationwasoverheimpartedtomeafewinterestingdetailsofthetransportserviceinthetimeoftheCrimeanWar。
"Theuseofwireriggingbecamegeneralaboutthattime,too,"heobserved。"Iwasaveryyoungmasterthen。Thatwasbeforeyouwereborn。"
"Yes,sir。Iamoftheyearof1857。"
"TheMutinyyear,"hecommented,asiftohimself,addinginaloudertonethathisshiphappenedthentobeintheGulfofBengal,employedunderagovernmentcharter。
Clearlythetransportservicehadbeenthemakingofthisexaminer,whosounexpectedlyhadgivenmeaninsightintohisexistence,awakeninginmethesenseofthecontinuityofthatsealifeintowhichIhadsteppedfromoutside;givingatouchofhumanintimacytothemachineryofofficialrelations。Ifeltadopted。Hisexperiencewasforme,too,asthoughhehadbeenanancestor。
Writingmylongname(ithastwelveletters)withlaboriouscareontheslipofbluepaper,heremarked:
"YouareofPolishextraction。"
"Bornthere,sir。"
Helaiddownthepenandleanedbacktolookatmeasitwereforthefirsttime。
"Notmanyofyournationalityinourservice,Ishouldthink。I
neverremembermeetingoneeitherbeforeorafterIleftthesea。
Don’tremembereverhearingofone。Aninlandpeople,aren’tyou?"
Isaidyes——verymuchso。Wewereremotefromtheseanotonlybysituation,butalsofromacompleteabsenceofindirectassociation,notbeingacommercialnationatall,butpurelyagricultural。Hemadethenthequaintreflectionthatitwas"alongwayformetocomeouttobeginasealife";asifsealifewerenotpreciselyalifeinwhichonegoesalongwayfromhome。
Itoldhim,smiling,thatnodoubtIcouldhavefoundashipmuchnearermynativeplace,butIhadthoughttomyselfthatifIwastobeaseaman,thenIwouldbeaBritishseamanandnoother。
Itwasamatterofdeliberatechoice。
Henoddedslightlyatthat;and,ashekeptonlookingatmeinterrogatively,Ienlargedalittle,confessingthatIhadspentalittletimeonthewayintheMediterraneanandintheWestIndies。IdidnotwanttopresentmyselftotheBritishMerchantServiceinanaltogethergreenstate。Itwasnousetellinghimthatmymysteriousvocationwassostrongthatmyverywildoatshadtobesownatsea。Itwastheexacttruth,buthewouldnothaveunderstoodthesomewhatexceptionalpsychologyofmysea-going,Ifear。
"Isupposeyou’venevercomeacrossoneofyourcountrymenatsea。Haveyou,now?"
IadmittedIneverhad。Theexaminerhadgivenhimselfuptothespiritofgossipingidleness。Formyself,Iwasinnohastetoleavethatroom。Notintheleast。Theeraofexaminationswasover。Iwouldneveragainseethatfriendlymanwhowasaprofessionalancestor,asortofgrandfatherinthecraft。
Moreover,Ihadtowaittillhedismissedme,andofthattherewasnosign。Asheremainedsilent,lookingatme,Iadded:
"ButIhaveheardofone,someyearsago。HeseemstohavebeenaboyservinghistimeonboardaLiverpoolship,ifIamnotmistaken。"
"Whatwashisname?"
Itoldhim。
"Howdidyousaythat?"heasked,puckeringuphiseyesattheuncouthsound。
Irepeatedthenameverydistinctly。
"Howdoyouspellit?"
Itoldhim。Hemovedhisheadattheimpracticablenatureofthatname,andobserved:
"It’squiteaslongasyourown——isn’tit?"
Therewasnohurry。Ihadpassedformaster,andIhadalltherestofmylifebeforemetomakethebestofit。Thatseemedalongtime。Iwentleisurelythroughasmallmentalcalculation,andsaid:
"Notquite。Shorterbytwoletters,sir。"
"Isit?"Theexaminerpushedthesignedblueslipacrossthetabletome,androsefromhischair。Somehowthisseemedaveryabruptendingofourrelations,andIfeltalmostsorrytopartfromthatexcellentman,whowasmasterofashipbeforethewhisperoftheseahadreachedmycradle。Heofferedmehishandandwishedmewell。Heevenmadeafewstepstowardthedoorwithme,andendedwithgood-naturedadvice。
"Idon’tknowwhatmaybeyourplans,butyououghttogointosteam。Whenamanhasgothismaster’scertificateit’sthepropertime。IfIwereyouIwouldgointosteam。"
Ithankedhim,andshutthedoorbehindmedefinitelyontheeraofexaminations。ButthattimeIdidnotwalkonair,asonthefirsttwooccasions。Iwalkedacrossthehillofmanybeheadingswithmeasuredsteps。Itwasafact,Isaidtomyself,thatIwasnowaBritishmastermarinerbeyondadoubt。ItwasnotthatI
hadanexaggeratedsenseofthatverymodestachievement,withwhich,however,luck,opportunity,oranyextraneousinfluencecouldhavehadnothingtodo。Thatfact,satisfactoryandobscureinitself,hadformeacertainidealsignificance。Itwasananswertocertainoutspokenscepticismandeventosomenotverykindaspersions。Ihadvindicatedmyselffromwhathadbeencrieduponasastupidobstinacyorafantasticcaprice。I
don’tmeantosaythatawholecountryhadbeenconvulsedbymydesiretogotosea。Butforaboybetweenfifteenandsixteen,sensitiveenough,inallconscience,thecommotionofhislittleworldhadseemedaveryconsiderablethingindeed。Soconsiderablethat,absurdlyenough,theechoesofitlingertothisday。Icatchmyselfinhoursofsolitudeandretrospectmeetingargumentsandchargesmadethirty-fiveyearsagobyvoicesnowforeverstill;findingthingstosaythatanassailedboycouldnothavefound,simplybecauseofthemysteriousnessofhisimpulsestohimself。Iunderstoodnomorethanthepeoplewhocalleduponmetoexplainmyself。Therewasnoprecedent。I
verilybelieveminewastheonlycaseofaboyofmynationalityandantecedentstakinga,sotospeak,standingjumpoutofhisracialsurroundingsandassociations。Foryoumustunderstandthattherewasnoideaofanysortof"career"inmycall。OfRussiaorGermanytherecouldbenoquestion。Thenationality,theantecedents,madeitimpossible。ThefeelingagainsttheAustrianservicewasnotsostrong,andIdaresaytherewouldhavebeennodifficultyinfindingmywayintotheNavalSchoolatPola。Itwouldhavemeantsixmonths’extragrindingatGerman,perhaps;butIwasnotpasttheageofadmission,andinotherrespectsIwaswellqualified。Thisexpedienttopalliatemyfollywasthoughtof——butnotbyme。Imustadmitthatinthatrespectmynegativewasacceptedatonce。Thatorderoffeelingwascomprehensibleenoughtothemostinimicalofmycritics。Iwasnotcalledupontoofferexplanations;butthetruthisthatwhatIhadinviewwasnotanavalcareer,butthesea。ThereseemednowayopentoitbutthroughFrance。Ihadthelanguage,atanyrate,andofallthecountriesinEuropeitiswithFrancethatPolandhasmostconnection。Thereweresomefacilitiesforhavingmealittlelookedafter,atfirst。
Letterswerebeingwritten,answerswerebeingreceived,arrangementswerebeingmadeformydepartureforMarseilles,whereanexcellentfellowcalledSolary,gotatinaroundaboutfashionthroughvariousFrenchchannels,hadpromisedgood-naturedlytoputlejeunehommeinthewayofgettingadecentshipforhisfirststartifhereallywantedatasteofcemetierdechien。
Iwatchedallthesepreparationsgratefully,andkeptmyowncounsel。ButwhatItoldthelastofmyexaminerswasperfectlytrue。Alreadythedeterminedresolvethat"ifaseaman,thenanEnglishseaman"wasformulatedinmyhead,though,ofcourse,inthePolishlanguage。IdidnotknowsixwordsofEnglish,andI
wasastuteenoughtounderstandthatitwasmuchbettertosaynothingofmypurpose。AsitwasIwasalreadylookeduponaspartlyinsane,atleastbythemoredistantacquaintances。Theprincipalthingwastogetaway。Iputmytrustinthegood-naturedSolary’sverycivillettertomyuncle,thoughIwasshockedalittlebythephraseaboutthemetierdechien。
ThisSolary(Baptistin),whenIbeheldhimintheflesh,turnedoutaquiteyoungman,verygood-looking,withafineblack,shortbeard,afreshcomplexion,andsoft,merryblackeyes。Hewasasjovialandgoodnaturedasanyboycoulddesire。Iwasstillasleepinmyroominamodesthotelnearthequaysoftheoldport,afterthefatiguesofthejourneyviaVienna,Zurich,Lyons,whenheburstin,flingingtheshuttersopentothesunofProvenceandchidingmeboisterouslyforlyingabed。Howpleasantlyhestartledmebyhisnoisyobjurgationstobeupandoffinstantlyfora"threeyears’campaignintheSouthSeas!"O
magicwords!"Unecampagnedetroisansdanslesmersdusud"——thatistheFrenchforathreeyears’deep-watervoyage。
Hegavemeadelightfulwaking,andhisfriendlinesswasunwearied;butIfearhedidnotenteruponthequestforashipformeinaverysolemnspirit。Hehadbeenatseahimself,buthadleftoffattheageoftwenty-five,findinghecouldearnhislivingonshoreinamuchmoreagreeablemanner。HewasrelatedtoanincrediblenumberofMarseilleswell-to-dofamiliesofacertainclass。Oneofhisuncleswasaship-brokerofgoodstanding,withalargeconnectionamongEnglishships;otherrelativesofhisdealtinships’stores,ownedsail-lofts,soldchainsandanchors,weremaster-stevedores,calkers,shipwrights。
Hisgrandfather(Ithink)wasadignitaryofakind,theSyndicofthePilots。Imadeacquaintancesamongthesepeople,butmainlyamongthepilots。TheveryfirstwholedayIeverspentonsaltwaterwasbyinvitation,inabighalf-deckedpilot-boat,cruisingunderclosereefsonthelookout,inmisty,blowingweather,forthesailsofshipsandthesmokeofsteamersrisingoutthere,beyondtheslimandtallPlanierlighthousecuttingthelineofthewind-swepthorizonwithawhiteperpendicularstroke。Theywerehospitablesouls,thesesturdyProvencalseamen。UnderthegeneraldesignationoflepetitamideBaptistinIwasmadetheguestofthecorporationofpilots,andhadthefreedomoftheirboatsnightorday。Andmanyadayandanight,too,didIspendcruisingwiththeserough,kindlymen,underwhoseauspicesmyintimacywiththeseabegan。Manyatime"thelittlefriendofBaptistin"hadthehoodedcloakoftheMediterraneansailorthrownoverhimbytheirhonesthandswhiledodgingatnightundertheleeofChateaudaftonthewatchforthelightsofships。Theirseatannedfaces,whiskeredorshaved,leanorfull,withtheintent,wrinkledseaeyesofthepilotbreed,andhereandthereathingoldhoopatthelobeofahairyear,bentovermyseainfancy。ThefirstoperationofseamanshipIhadanopportunityofobservingwastheboardingofshipsatsea,atalltimes,inallstatesoftheweather。Theygaveittometothefull。AndIhavebeeninvitedtositinmorethanonetall,darkhouseoftheoldtownattheirhospitableboard,hadthebouillabaisseladledoutintoathickplatebytheirhigh-voiced,broad-browedwives,talkedtotheirdaughters——thick-setgirls,withpureprofiles,gloriousmassesofblackhairarrangedwithcomplicatedart,darkeyes,anddazzlinglywhiteteeth。
Ihadalsootheracquaintancesofquiteadifferentsort。Oneofthem,MadameDelestang,animperious,handsomeladyinastatuesquestyle,wouldcarrymeoffnowandthenonthefrontseatofhercarriagetothePrado,atthehouroffashionableairing。Shebelongedtooneoftheoldaristocraticfamiliesinthesouth。InherhaughtywearinesssheusedtomakemethinkofLadyDedlockinDickens’s"BleakHouse,"aworkofthemasterforwhichIhavesuchanadmiration,orrathersuchanintenseandunreasoningaffection,datingfromthedaysofmychildhood,thatitsveryweaknessesaremoreprecioustomethanthestrengthofothermen’swork。Ihavereaditinnumerabletimes,bothinPolishandinEnglish;Ihavereaditonlytheotherday,and,byanotverysurprisinginversion,theLadyDedlockofthebookremindedmestronglyofthe"belleMadameDelestang。"
Herhusband(asIsatfacingthemboth),withhisthin,bonynoseandaperfectlybloodless,narrowphysiognomyclampedtogether,asitwere,byshort,formalsidewhiskers,hadnothingofSirLeicesterDedlock’s"grandair"andcourtlysolemnity。Hebelongedtothehautebourgeoisieonly,andwasabanker,withwhomamodestcredithadbeenopenedformyneeds。Hewassuchanardent——no,suchafrozen-up,mummifiedRoyalistthatheusedincurrentconversationturnsofspeechcontemporary,Ishouldsay,withthegoodHenriQuatre;andwhentalkingofmoneymatters,reckonednotinfrancs,likethecommon,godlessherdofpost-RevolutionaryFrenchmen,butinobsoleteandforgottenecus——ecusofallmoneyunitsintheworld!——asthoughLouisQuatorzewerestillpromenadinginroyalsplendourthegardensofVersailles,andMonsieurdeColbertbusywiththedirectionofmaritimeaffairs。Youmustadmitthatinabankerofthenineteenthcenturyitwasaquaintidiosyncrasy。Luckily,inthecounting-house(itoccupiedpartofthegroundflooroftheDelestangtownresidence,inasilent,shadystreet)theaccountswerekeptinmodernmoney,sothatIneverhadanydifficultyinmakingmywantsknowntothegrave,low-voiced,decorous,Legitimist(Isuppose)clerks,sittingintheperpetualgloomofheavilybarredwindowsbehindthesombre,ancientcounters,beneathloftyceilingswithheavilymoldedcornices。Ialwaysfelt,ongoingout,asthoughIhadbeeninthetempleofsomeverydignifiedbutcompletelytemporalreligion。AnditwasgenerallyontheseoccasionsthatunderthegreatcarriagegatewayLadyDed——ImeanMadameDelestang——catchingsightofmyraisedhat,wouldbeckonmewithanamiableimperiousnesstothesideofthecarriage,andsuggestwithanairofamusednonchalance,"Venezdoncfaireuntouravecnous,"towhichthehusbandwouldaddanencouraging"C’estca。Allons,montez,jeunehomme。"Hequestionedmesometimes,significantlybutwithperfecttactanddelicacy,astothewayIemployedmytime,andneverfailedtoexpressthehopethatIwroteregularlytomy"honoureduncle。"ImadenosecretofthewayIemployedmytime,andIratherfancythatmyartlesstalesofthepilotsandsoonentertainedMadameDelestangsofarasthatineffablewomancouldbeentertainedbytheprattleofayoungsterveryfullofhisnewexperienceamongstrangemenandstrangesensations。Sheexpressednoopinions,andtalkedtomeverylittle;yetherportraithangsinthegalleryofmyintimatememories,fixedtherebyashortandfleetingepisode。Oneday,afterputtingmedownatthecornerofastreet,sheofferedmeherhand,anddetainedme,byaslightpressure,foramoment。Whilethehusbandsatmotionlessandlookingstraightbeforehim,sheleanedforwardinthecarriagetosay,withjustashadeofwarninginherleisurelytone:"Ilfaut,cependant,faireattentionanepasgatersavie。"Ihadneverseenherfacesoclosetominebefore。Shemademyheartbeatandcausedmetoremainthoughtfulforawholeevening。Certainlyonemust,afterall,takecarenottospoilone’slife。Butshedidnotknow——
nobodycouldknow——howimpossiblethatdangerseemedtome。
VII
Canthetransportsoffirstlovebecalmed,checked,turnedtoacoldsuspicionofthefuturebyagravequotationfromaworkonpoliticaleconomy?Iask——isitconceivable?Isitpossible?
Woulditberight?Withmyfeetontheveryshoresoftheseaandabouttoembracemyblue-eyeddream,whatcouldagood-naturedwarningastospoilingone’slifemeantomyyouthfulpassion?Itwasthemostunexpectedandthelast,too,ofthemanywarningsIhadreceived。Itsoundedtomeverybizarre——and,utteredasitwasintheverypresenceofmyenchantress,likethevoiceoffolly,thevoiceofignorance。
ButIwasnotsocallousorsostupidasnottorecognizetherealsothevoiceofkindness。Andthenthevaguenessofthewarning——becausewhatcanbethemeaningofthephrase:tospoilone’slife?——arrestedone’sattentionbyitsairofwiseprofundity。Atanyrate,asIhavesaidbefore,thewordsoflabelleMadameDelestangmademethoughtfulforawholeevening。I
triedtounderstandandtriedinvain,nothavinganynotionoflifeasanenterprisethatcouldbemimanaged。ButIleftoffbeingthoughtfulshortlybeforemidnight,atwhichhour,hauntedbynoghostsofthepastandbynovisionsofthefuture,I
walkeddownthequayoftheVieuxPorttojointhepilot-boatofmyfriends。Iknewwhereshewouldbewaitingforhercrew,inthelittlebitofacanalbehindthefortattheentranceoftheharbour。Thedesertedquayslookedverywhiteanddryinthemoonlight,andasiffrostboundinthesharpairofthatDecembernight。Aprowlerortwoslunkbynoiselessly;acustom-houseguard,soldier-like,aswordbyhisside,pacedcloseunderthebowspritsofthelongrowofshipsmooredbowsonoppositethelong,slightlycurved,continuousflatwallofthetallhousesthatseemedtobeoneimmenseabandonedbuildingwithinnumerablewindowsshutteredclosely。Onlyhereandthereasmall,dingycafeforsailorscastayellowgleamonthebluishsheenoftheflagstones。Passingby,oneheardadeepmurmurofvoicesinside——nothingmore。HowquieteverythingwasattheendofthequaysonthelastnightonwhichIwentoutforaservicecruiseasaguestoftheMarseillespilots!Notafootstep,exceptmyown,notasigh,notawhisperingechooftheusualrevelrygoingoninthenarrow,unspeakablelanesoftheOldTownreachedmyear——andsuddenly,withaterrificjinglingrattleofironandglass,theomnibusoftheJollietteonitslastjourneyswungaroundthecornerofthedeadwallwhichfacesacrossthepavedroadthecharacteristicangularmassoftheFortSt。Jean。Threehorsestrottedabreast,withtheclatterofhoofsonthegranitesetts,andtheyellow,uproariousmachinejoltedviolentlybehindthem,fantastic,lightedup,perfectlyempty,andwiththedriverapparentlyasleeponhisswayingperchabovethatamazingracket。
Iflattenedmyselfagainstthewallandgasped。Itwasastunningexperience。Thenafterstaggeringonafewpacesintheshadowofthefort,castingadarknessmoreintensethanthatofacloudednightuponthecanal,Isawthetinylightofalanternstandingonthequay,andbecameawareofmuffledfiguresmakingtowarditfromvariousdirections。PilotsoftheThirdCompanyhasteningtoembark。Toosleepytobetalkative,theysteponboardinsilence。Butafewlowgruntsandanenormousyawnareheard。Somebodyevenejaculates:"Ah!Coquindesort!"andsighswearilyathishardfate。
ThepatronoftheThirdCompany(therewerefivecompaniesofpilotsatthattime,Ibelieve)isthebrother-in-lawofmyfriendSolary(Baptistin),abroad-shouldered,deepchestedmanofforty,withakeen,frankglancewhichalwaysseeksyoureyes。
Hegreetsmebyalow,hearty"He,l’ami。Commentva?"Withhisclippedmustacheandmassiveopenface,energeticandatthesametimeplacidinexpression,heisafinespecimenofthesouthernerofthecalmtype。Forthereissuchatypeinwhichthevolatilesouthernpassionistransmutedintosolidforce。Heisfair,butnoonecouldmistakehimforamanofthenorthevenbythedimgleamofthelanternstandingonthequay。HeisworthadozenofyourordinaryNormansorBretons,butthen,inthewholeimmensesweepoftheMediterraneanshores,youcouldnotfindhalfadozenmenofhisstamp。
Standingbythetiller,hepullsouthiswatchfromunderathickjacketandbendshisheadoveritinthelightcastintotheboat。Time’sup。Hispleasantvoicecommands,inaquietundertone,"Larguez。"Asuddenlyprojectedarmsnatchesthelanternoffthequay——and,warpedalongbyalineatfirst,thenwiththeregulartugoffourheavysweepsinthebow,thebighalf-deckedboatfullofmenglidesoutoftheblack,breathlessshadowofthefort。Theopenwateroftheavant-portglittersunderthemoonasifsownoverwithmillionsofsequins,andthelongwhitebreakwatershineslikeathickbarofsolidsilver。
Withaquickrattleofblocksandonesinglesilkyswish,thesailisfilledbyalittlebreezekeenenoughtohavecomestraightdownfromthefrozenmoon,andtheboat,aftertheclatterofthehauled-insweeps,seemstostandatrest,surroundedbyamysteriouswhisperingsofaintandunearthlythatitmaybetherustlingofthebrilliant,overpoweringmoonraysbreakinglikearain-showeruponthehard,smooth,shadowlesssea。
ImaywellrememberthatlastnightspentwiththepilotsoftheThirdCompany。Ihaveknownthespellofmoonlightsince,onvariousseasandcoasts——coastsofforests,ofrocks,ofsanddunes——butnomagicsoperfectinitsrevelationofunsuspectedcharacter,asthoughonewereallowedtolookuponthemysticnatureofmaterialthings。ForhoursIsupposenowordwasspokeninthatboat。Thepilots,seatedintworowsfacingeachother,dozed,withtheirarmsfoldedandtheirchinsrestingupontheirbreasts。Theydisplayedagreatvarietyofcaps:cloth,wool,leather,peaks,ear-flaps,tassels,withapicturesqueroundberetortwopulleddownoverthebrows;andonegrandfather,withashaved,bonyfaceandagreatbeakofanose,hadacloakwithahoodwhichmadehimlookinourmidstlikeacowledmonkbeingcarriedoffgoodnessknowswherebythatsilentcompanyofseamen——quietenoughtobedead。
Myfingersitchedforthetiller,andinduecoursemyfriend,thepatron,surrenderedittomeinthesamespiritinwhichthefamilycoachmanletsaboyholdthereinsonaneasybitofroad。
Therewasagreatsolitudearoundus;theisletsahead,MonteCristoandtheChateaudaftinfulllight,seemedtofloattowardus——sosteady,soimperceptiblewastheprogressofourboat。
"Keepherinthefurrowofthemoon,"thepatrondirectedme,inaquietmurmur,sittingdownponderouslyinthestern-sheetsandreachingforhispipe。
Thepilotstationinweatherlikethiswasonlyamileortwotothewestwardoftheislets;andpresently,asweapproachedthespot,theboatweweregoingtorelieveswamintoourviewsuddenly,onherwayhome,cuttingblackandsinisterintothewakeofthemoonunderasablewing,whiletothemoursailmusthavebeenavisionofwhiteanddazzlingradiance。Withoutalteringthecourseahair’sbreadthweslippedbyeachotherwithinanoar’slength。Adrawling,sardonichailcameoutofher。Instantly,asifbymagic,ourdozingpilotsgotontheirfeetinabody。Anincrediblebabelofbanteringshoutsburstout,ajocular,passionate,volublechatter,whichlastedtilltheboatsweresterntostern,theirsallbrightnow,and,withashiningsailtooureyes,weturnedallblacktotheirvision,anddrewawayfromthemunderasablewing。Thatextraordinaryuproardiedawayalmostassuddenlyasithadbegun;firstonehadenoughofitandsatdown,thenanother,thenthreeorfourtogether;andwhenallhadleftoffwithmuttersandgrowlinghalf-laughsthesoundofheartychucklingbecameaudible,persistent,unnoticed。Thecowledgrandfatherwasverymuchentertainedsomewherewithinhishood。
Hehadnotjoinedintheshoutingofjokes,neitherhadhemovedtheleastbit。Hehadremainedquietlyinhisplaceagainstthefootofthemast。Ihadbeengiventounderstandlongbeforethathehadtheratingofasecond-classableseaman(matelotleger)inthefleetwhichsailedfromToulonfortheconquestofAlgeriaintheyearofgrace1830。And,indeed,Ihadseenandexaminedoneofthebuttonsofhisoldbrown,patchedcoat,theonlybrassbuttonofthemiscellaneouslot,flatandthin,withthewordsEquipagesdeligneengravedonit。Thatsortofbutton,Ibelieve,wentoutwiththelastoftheFrenchBourbons。
"Ipreserveditfromthetimeofmynavyservice,"heexplained,noddingrapidlyhisfrail,vulture-likehead。Itwasnotverylikelythathehadpickedupthatrelicinthestreet。HelookedcertainlyoldenoughtohavefoughtatTrafalgar——or,atanyrate,tohaveplayedhislittlepartthereasapowdermonkey。
ShortlyafterwehadbeenintroducedhehadinformedmeinaFranco-Provencaljargon,mumblingtremulouslywithhistoothlessjaws,thatwhenhewasa"shavernohigherthanthat"hehadseentheEmperorNapoleonreturningfromElba。Itwasatnight,henarratedvaguely,withoutanimation,ataspotbetweenFrejusandAntibes,intheopencountry。Abigfirehadbeenlitatthesideofthecross-roads。Thepopulationfromseveralvillageshadcollectedthere,oldandyoung——downtotheverychildreninarms,becausethewomenhadrefusedtostayathome。Tallsoldierswearinghigh,hairycapsstoodinacircle,facingthepeoplesilently,andtheirsterneyesandbigmustacheswereenoughtomakeeverybodykeepatadistance。He,"beinganimpudentlittleshaver,"wriggledoutofthecrowd,creepingonhishandsandkneesasnearashedaredtothegrenadiers’legs,andpeepingthroughdiscovered,standingperfectlystillinthelightofthefire,"alittlefatfellowinathree-corneredhat,buttonedupinalongstraightcoat,withabig,palefaceinclinedononeshoulder,lookingsomethinglikeapriest。Hishandswereclaspedbehindhisback……ItappearsthatthiswastheEmperor,"theancientcommented,withafaintsigh。Hewasstaringfromthegroundwithallhismight,when"mypoorfather,"whohadbeensearchingforhisboyfranticallyeverywhere,pounceduponhimandhauledhimawaybytheear。
Thetaleseemsanauthenticrecollection。Herelatedittomemanytimes,usingtheverysamewords。Thegrandfatherhonouredmebyaspecialandsomewhatembarrassingpredilection。Extremestouch。Hewastheoldestmemberbyalongwayinthatcompany,andIwas,ifImaysayso,itstemporarilyadoptedbaby。Hehadbeenapilotlongerthananymanintheboatcouldremember;
thirty——fortyyears。Hedidnotseemcertainhimself,butitcouldbefoundout,hesuggested,inthearchivesofthePilot-office。Hehadbeenpensionedoffyearsbefore,buthewentoutfromforceofhabit;and,asmyfriendthepatronofthecompanyonceconfidedtomeinawhisper,"theoldchapdidnoharm。Hewasnotintheway。"Theytreatedhimwithroughdeference。Oneandanotherwouldaddresssomeinsignificantremarktohimnowandagain,butnobodyreallytookanynoticeofwhathehadtosay。Hehadsurvivedhisstrength,hisusefulness,hisverywisdom。Heworelong,green,worstedstockingspulledupabovethekneeoverhistrousers,asortofwoollennightcaponhishairlesscranium,andwoodenclogsonhisfeet。Withouthishoodedcloakhelookedlikeapeasant。Halfadozenhandswouldbeextendedtohelphimonboard,butafterwardhewasleftprettymuchtohisownthoughts。Ofcourseheneverdidanywork,except,perhaps,tocastoffsomeropewhenhailed,"He,l’Ancien!letgothehalyardsthere,atyourhand"——orsomesuchrequestofaneasykind。
Noonetooknoticeinanywayofthechucklingwithintheshadowofthehood。Hekeptitupforalongtimewithintenseenjoyment。Obviouslyhehadpreservedintacttheinnocenceofmindwhichiseasilyamused。Butwhenhishilarityhadexhausteditself,hemadeaprofessionalremarkinaself-assertivebutquaveringvoice:
"Can’texpectmuchworkonanightlikethis。"
Noonetookitup。Itwasameretruism。Nothingundercanvascouldbeexpectedtomakeaportonsuchanidlenightofdreamysplendourandspiritualstillness。Wewouldhavetoglideidlytoandfro,keepingourstationwithintheappointedbearings,and,unlessafreshbreezesprangupwiththedawn,wewouldlandbeforesunriseonasmallisletthat,withintwomilesofus,shonelikealumpoffrozenmoonlight,to"breakacrustandtakeapullatthewinebottle。"Iwasfamiliarwiththeprocedure。
Thestoutboatemptiedofhercrowdwouldnestleherbuoyant,capablesideagainsttheveryrock——suchistheperfectlysmoothamenityoftheclassicseawheninagentlemood。Thecrustbrokenandthemouthfulofwineswallowed——itwasliterallynomorethanthatwiththisabstemiousrace——thepilotswouldpassthetimestampingtheirfeetontheslabsofsea-saltedstoneandblowingintotheirnippedfingers。Oneortwomisanthropistswouldsitapart,perchedonboulderslikemanlikesea-fowlofsolitaryhabits;thesociablydisposedwouldgossipscandalouslyinlittlegesticulatingknots;andtherewouldbeperpetuallyoneoranotherofmyhoststakingaimattheemptyhorizonwiththelong,brasstubeofthetelescope,aheavy,murderous-lookingpieceofcollectiveproperty,everlastinglychanginghandswithbrandishingandlevellingmovements。Thenaboutnoon(itwasashortturnofduty——thelongturnlastedtwenty-fourhours)
anotherboatfulofpilotswouldrelieveus——andweshouldsteerfortheoldPhoenicianport,dominated,watchedoverfromtheridgeofadust-gray,aridhillbythered-and-whitestripedpileoftheNotreDamedelaGarde。
AllthiscametopassasIhadforeseeninthefullnessofmyveryrecentexperience。Butalsosomethingnotforeseenbymedidhappen,somethingwhichcausesmetoremembermylastoutingwiththepilots。Itwasonthisoccasionthatmyhandtouched,forthefirsttime,thesideofanEnglishship。
Nofreshbreezehadcomewiththedawn,onlythesteadylittledraughtgotamorekeenedgeonitastheeasternskybecamebrightandglassywithaclean,colourlesslight。Itwaswhilewewereallashoreontheisletthatasteamerwaspickedupbythetelescope,ablackspecklikeaninsectposedonthehardedgeoftheoffing。Sheemergedrapidlytoherwater-lineandcameonsteadily,aslimhullwithalongstreakofsmokeslantingawayfromtherisingsun。Weembarkedinahurry,andheadedtheboatoutforourprey,butwehardlymovedthreemilesanhour。
Shewasabig,high-classcargo-steamerofatypethatistobemetontheseanomore——blackhull,withlow,whitesuperstructures,powerfullyriggedwiththreemastsandalotofyardsonthefore;twohandsatherenormouswheel——steamsteering-gearwasnotamatterofcourseinthesedays——andwiththemonthebridgethreeothers,bulkyinthickbluejackets,ruddy-faced,muffledup,withpeakcaps——Isupposeallherofficers。ThereareshipsIhavemetmorethanonceandknownwellbysightwhosenamesIhaveforgotten;butthenameofthatshipseenoncesomanyyearsagointheclearflushofacold,palesunriseIhavenotforgotten。HowcouldI——thefirstEnglishshiponwhosesideIeverlaidmyhand!Thename——Ireaditletterbyletteronthebow——wasJamesWestoll。Notveryromantic,youwillsay。Thenameofaveryconsiderable,well-known,anduniversallyrespectedNorthcountryship-owner,I
believe。JamesWestoll!Whatbetternamecouldanhonourablehard-workingshiphave?TometheverygroupingofthelettersisalivewiththeromanticfeelingofherrealityasIsawherfloatingmotionlessandborrowinganidealgracefromtheausterepurityofthelight。
Wewerethenverynearherand,onasuddenimpulse,I
volunteeredtopullbowinthedinghywhichshovedoffatoncetoputthepilotonboardwhileourboat,fannedbythefaintairwhichhadattendedusallthroughthenight,wentonglidinggentlypasttheblack,glisteninglengthoftheship。Afewstrokesbroughtusalongside,anditwasthenthat,fortheveryfirsttimeinmylife,IheardmyselfaddressedinEnglish——thespeechofmysecretchoice,ofmyfuture,oflongfriendships,ofthedeepestaffections,ofhoursoftoilandhoursofease,andofsolitaryhours,too,ofbooksread,ofthoughtspursued,ofrememberedemotions——ofmyverydreams!Andif(afterbeingthusfashionedbyitinthatpartofmewhichcannotdecay)Idarenotclaimitaloudasmyown,then,atanyrate,thespeechofmychildren。Thussmalleventsgrowmemorablebythepassageoftime。AstothequalityoftheaddressitselfIcannotsayitwasverystriking。Tooshortforeloquenceanddevoidofallcharmoftone,itconsistedpreciselyofthethreewords"Lookoutthere!"growledouthuskilyabovemyhead。
Itproceededfromabigfatfellow(hehadanobtrusive,hairydoublechin)inabluewoollenshirtandroomybreechespulledupveryhigh,eventothelevelofhisbreastbone,byapairofbracesquiteexposedtopublicview。Aswherehestoodtherewasnobulwark,butonlyarailandstanchions,Iwasabletotakeinataglancethewholeofhisvoluminouspersonfromhisfeettothehighcrownofhissoftblackhat,whichsatlikeanabsurdflangedconeonhisbighead。Thegrotesqueandmassiveaspectofthatdeckhand(Isupposehewasthat——verylikelythelamp-trimmer)surprisedmeverymuch。Mycourseofreading,ofdreaming,andlongingfortheseahadnotpreparedmeforaseabrotherofthatsort。InevermetagainafigureintheleastlikehisexceptintheillustrationstoMr。W。W。Jacobs’smostentertainingtalesofbargesandcoasters;buttheinspiredtalentofMr。Jacobsforpokingendlessfunatpoor,innocentsailorsinaprosewhich,howeverextravagantinitsfelicitousinvention,isalwaysartisticallyadjustedtoobservedtruth,wasnotyet。PerhapsMr。Jacobshimselfwasnotyet。Ifancythat,atmost,ifhehadmadehisnurselaughitwasaboutallhehadachievedatthatearlydate。
Therefore,Irepeat,otherdisabilitiesapart,Icouldnothavebeenpreparedforthesightofthathuskyoldporpoise。Theobjectofhisconciseaddresswastocallmyattentiontoaropewhichheincontinentlyflungdownformetocatch。Icaughtit,thoughitwasnotreallynecessary,theshiphavingnowayonherbythattime。Theneverythingwentonveryswiftly。Thedinghycamewithaslightbumpagainstthesteamer’sside;thepilot,grabbingfortheropeladder,hadscrambledhalf-wayupbeforeI
knewthatourtaskofboardingwasdone;theharsh,muffledclangingoftheengine-roomtelegraphstruckmyearthroughtheironplate;mycompanioninthedinghywasurgingmeto"shoveoff——pushhard";andwhenIboreagainstthesmoothflankofthefirstEnglishshipIevertouchedinmylife,Ifeltitalreadythrobbingundermyopenpalm。
Herheadswungalittletothewest,pointingtowardtheminiaturelighthouseoftheJolliettebreakwater,farawaythere,hardlydistinguishableagainsttheland。Thedinghydancedasquashy,splashyjiginthewashofthewake;and,turninginmyseat,IfollowedtheJamesWestollwithmyeyes。Beforeshehadgoneinaquarterofamileshehoistedherflag,astheharbourregulationsprescribeforarrivinganddepartingships。Isawitsuddenlyflickerandstreamoutontheflagstaff。TheRedEnsign!Inthepellucid,colourlessatmospherebathingthedrabandgraymassesofthatsouthernland,thelividislets,theseaofpale,glassyblueunderthepale,glassyskyofthatcoldsunrise,itwas,asfarastheeyecouldreach,theonlyspotofardentcolour——flame-like,intense,andpresentlyasminuteasthetinyredsparktheconcentratedreflectionofagreatfirekindlesintheclearheartofaglobeofcrystal。TheRedEnsign——thesymbolic,protecting,warmbitofbuntingflungwideupontheseas,anddestinedforsomanyyearstobetheonlyroofovermyhead。