AftercarefullystudyingthefieldofopportunitiesopentocapitalhehadsoldhislittlepropertythereforeighthundreddollarsandinvesteditinoneoftheenterprisesopenedupbythebookinOkochee。
　　"MightIinquire，sir，"saidMr。Bloom，"inwhatparticularlineofbusinessyouinsertedyourcoin？IknowthattownaswellasIknowtheregulationsforillegaluseofthemails。Imightgiveyouahunchastowhetheryoucanmakethegamegoornot。"
　　J。Pinkney，somehow，hadakindlyfeelingtowardtheseunsophisticatedrepresentativesofby—gonedays。Theyweresosimple，impractical，andunsuspecting。HewasgladthathehappenednottohaveagoldbrickorablockofthatwesternBadBoySilverMinestockalongwithhim。Hewouldhavedislikedtounloadonpeoplehelikedsowellashedidthese；buttherearesometemptationstoeenticingtoberesisted。
　　"No，sir，"saidColonelBlaylock。pausingtoarrangethequeen’swrap。
　　"IdidnotinvestinOkochee。Ihavemadeanexhaustivestudyofbusinessconditions，andIregardoldsettledtownsasunfavorablefieldsinwhichtoplacecapitalthatislimitedinamount。Somemonthsago，throughthekindnessofafriend，therecameintomyhandsamapanddescriptionofthisnewtownofSkylandthathasbeenbuiltuponthelake。Thedescriptionwassopleasing，thefutureofthetownsetforthinsuchconvincingarguments，anditsincreasingprosperityportrayedinsuchanattractivestylethatIdecidedtotakeadvantageoftheopportunityitoffered。I
　　carefullyselectedalotinthecentreofthebusinessdistrict，althoughitspricewasthehighestintheschedule——fivehundreddollars——andmadethepurchaseatonce。"
　　"Areyoutheman——Imean，didyoupayfivehundreddollarsforalotinSkyland"askedJ。PinkneyBloom。
　　"Idid，sir，"answeredtheColonel，withtheairofamodestmillionaireexplaininghissuccess；"alotmostexcellentlysituatedonthesamesquarewiththeoperahouse，andonlytwosquaresfromtheboardoftrade。Iconsiderthepurchaseamostfortuitousone。
　　Itismyintentiontoerectasmallbuildinguponitatonce，andopenamodestbookandstationerystore。DuringpastyearsIhavemetwithmanypecuniaryreverses，andInowfinditnecessarytoengageinsomecommercialoccupationthatwillfurnishmewithalivelihood。Thebookandstationerybusiness，thoughanhumbleone，seemstomenotinaptnoraltogetheruncongenial。IamagraduateoftheUniversityofVirginia；andMrs。Blaylock’sreallywonderfulacquaintancewithbelles—lettresandpoeticliteratureshouldgofartowardinsuringsuccess。Ofcourse，Mrs。Blaylockwouldnotpersonallyservebehindthecounter。WiththenearlythreehundreddollarsIhaveremainingIcanmanagethebuildingofahouse，bygivingalienonthelot。IhaveanoldfriendinAtlantawhoisapartnerinalargebookstore，andhehasagreedtofurnishmewithastockofgoodsoncredit，onextremelyeasyterms。Iampleasedtohope，sir，thatMrs。Blaylock’shealthandhappinesswillbeincreasedbythechangeoflocality。AlreadyIfancyIcanperceivethereturnofthoserosesthatwereoncethehopeanddespairofGeorgiacavaliers。"
　　Againfollowedthatwonderfulbow，astheColonellightlytouchedthepalecheekofthepoetess。Mrs。Blaylock，blushinglikeagirl，shookhercurlandgavetheColonelanarch，reprovingtap。Secretofeternalyouth——whereartthou？Everysecondtheanswercomes——"Here，here，here。"Listentothineownheartbeats，0wearyseekerafterexternalmiracles。
　　"Thoseyears，"saidMrs。Blaylock，"inHollySpringswerelong，long，long。Butnowisthepromisedlandinsight。Skyland!——alovelyname。"
　　"Doubtless，"saidtheColonel，"weshallbeabletosecurecomfortableaccommodationsatsomemodesthotelatreasonablerates。OurtrunksareinOkochee，tobeforwardedwhenweshallhavemadepermanentarrangements。"
　　J。PinkneyBloomexcusedhimself，wentforward，andstoodbythecaptainatthewheel。
　　"Mac，"saidhe，"doyouremembermytellingyouoncethatIsoldoneofthosefive—hundred—dollarlotsinSkyland？"
　　"SeemsIdo，"grinnedCaptainMacFarland。
　　"I’mnotacoward，asageneralrule，"wentonthepromoter，"butIalwayssaidthatifIevermetthesuckerthatboughtthatlotI’drunlikeaturkey。Now，youseethatoldbabe—in—the—woodoverthere？Well，he’stheboythatdrewtheprize。Thatwastheonlyfive—hundred—dollarlotthatwent。Therestrangedfromtendollarstotwohundred。Hiswifewritespoetry。She’sinventedoneaboutthehighgroundsofGeorgia，that’swayupinG。They’regoingtoSkylandtoopenabookstore。"
　　"Well，"saidMacFarland，withanothergrin，"it’sagoodthingyouarealong，J。P。；youcanshow’emaroundtownuntiltheybegintofeelathome。"
　　"He’sgotthreehundreddollarslefttobuildahouseandstorewith，"wentonJ。Pinkney，asifheweretalkingtohimself。"Andhethinksthere’sanopenhouseupthere。"
　　CaptainMacFarlandreleasedthewheellongenoughtogivehislegaroguishslap。
　　"Youoldfatrascal!"hechuckled，withawink。
　　"Mac，you’reafool，"saidJ。PinkneyBloom，coldly。HewentbackandjoinedtheBlaylocks，wherehesat，lesstalkative，withthatstraightfurrowbetweenhisbrowsthatalwaysstoodasasignalofschemesbeingshapedwithin。
　　"There’sagoodmanyswindlesconnectedwiththesebooms，"hesaidpresently。"WhatifthisSkylandshouldturnouttobeone——thatis，supposebusinessshouldbesortofdullthere，andnospecialsaleforbooks？"
　　"Mydearsir，"saidColonelBlaylock，restinghishanduponthebackofhiswife’schair，"threetimesIhavebeenreducedtoalmostpenurybytheduplicityofothers，butIhavenotyetlostfaithinhumanity。
　　IfIhavebeendeceivedagain，stillwemaygleanhealthandcontent，ifnotworldlyprofit。Iamawarethattherearedishonestschemersintheworldwhosettrapsfortheunwary，buteventheyarenotaltogetherbad。Mydear，canyourecallthoseversesentitled’HeGiveththeIncrease，’thatyoucomposedforthechoirofourchurchinHollySprings？"
　　"Thatwasfouryearsago，"saidMrs。Blaylock；"perhansIcanrepeataverseortwo。
　　"Thelilyspringsfromtherottingmould；
　　Pearlsfromthedeepseaslime；
　　GoodwillcomeoutofNazarethAllinGod’sowntime。
　　"TothehardestheartthesofteninggraceCometh，atlast，tobless；
　　GuidingitrighttohelpandcheerAndsuccorindistress。
　　"Icannotremembertherest。Thelineswerenotambitious。Theywerewrittentothemusiccomposedbyadearfriend。"
　　"It’safinerhyme，justthesame，"declaredMr。Bloom。"Itseemstoringthebell，allright。IguessIgatherthesenseofit。Itmeansthattherankestkindofaphonywillgiveyouthebestendofitonceinawhile。"
　　Mr。Bloomstrayedthoughtfullybacktothecaptain，andstoodmeditating。
　　"OughttobeinsightofthespiresandgildeddomesofSkylandnowinafewminutes，"chirrupedMacFarland，shakingwithenjoyment。
　　"Gotothedevil，"saidMr。Bloom，stillpensive。
　　Andnow，upontheleftbank，theycaughtaglimpseofawhitevillage，highuponthehills，smotheredamonggreentrees。ThatwasColdBranch——noboomtown，buttheslowgrowthofmanyyears。ColdBranchlayontheedgeofthegrapeandcornlands。Thebigcountryroadranjustbackoftheheights。ColdBranchhadnothingincommonwiththefriskyambitionofOkocheewithitsimpertinentlake。
　　"Mac，"saidJ。Pinkneysuddenly，"IwantyoutostopatColdBranch。
　　There’salandingtherethattheymadetousesometimeswhentheriverwasup。"
　　"Can’t，"saidthecaptain，grinningmorebroadly。"I’vegottheUnitedStatesmailsonboard。Rightto—daythisboat’sinthegovernmentservice。DoyouwanttohavethepooroldcaptainkeelhauledbyUncleSam？AndthegreatcityofSkyland，alldisconsolate，waitingforitsmail？I’mashamedofyourextravagance，J。P。"
　　"Mac，"almostwhisperedJ。Pinkney，inhisdanger—linevoice，"I
　　lookedintotheengineroomofthe~DixieBelle~awhileago。Don’tyouknowofsomebodythatneedsanewboiler？CementandblackJapancan’thideflawsfromme。Andthen，thosesharesofbuildingandloanthatyoutradedforrepairs——theywereallyours，ofcourse。Ihatetomentionthesethings，but——"
　　"Oh，comenow，J。P。，"saidthecaptain。"YouknowIwasjustfooling。I’llputyouoffatColdBranch，ifyousayso。"
　　"Theotherpassengersgetoffthere，too，"saidMr。Bloom。
　　Furtherconversationwasheld，andintenminutesthe~DixieBelle~
　　turnedhernosetowardalittle，crankywoodenpierontheleftbank，andthecaptain，relinquishingthewheeltoaroustabout，cametothepassengerdeckandmadetheremarkableannouncement："AlloutforSkyland。"
　　TheBlaylocksandJ。PinkneyBloomdisembarked，andthe~DixieBelle~
　　proceededonherwayupthelake。Guidedbytheindefatigablepromoter，theyslowlyclimbedthesteephillside，pausingoftentorestandadmiretheview。FinallytheyenteredthevillageofColdBranch。WarmlyboththeColonelandhiswifepraiseditforitshomelikeandpeacefulbeauty。Mr。Bloomconductedthemtoatwo—storybuildingonashadystreetthatborethelegend，"Pine—topInn。"Herehetookhisleave，receivingthecordialthanksofthetwoforhisattentions，theColonelremarkingthathethoughttheywouldspendtheremainderofthedayinrest，andtakealookathispurchaseonthemorrow。
　　J。PinkneyBloomwalkeddownColdBranch’smainstreet。Hedidnotknowthistown，butheknewtowns，andhisfeetdidnotfalter。
　　Presentlyhesawasignoveradoor："FrankE。Cooly，Attorney—at—LawandNotaryPublic。"AyoungmanwasMr。Cooly，andawaitingbusiness。
　　"Getyourhat，son，"saidMr。Bloom，inhisbreezyway，"andablankdeed，andcomealong。It’sajobforyou。"
　　"Now，"hecontinued，whenMr。Coolyhadrespondedwithalacrity，"isthereabookstoreintown？"
　　"One，"saidthelawyer。"HenryWilliams’s。"
　　"Getthere，"saidMr。Bloom。"We’regoingtobuyit。"
　　HenryWilliamswasbehindhiscounter。Hisstorewasasmallone，containingamixtureofbooks，stationery，andfancyrubbish。
　　AdjoiningitwasHenry’shome——adecentcottage，vine—emboweredandcosy。Henrywaslankandsoporific，andnotinclinedtorushhisbusiness。
　　"Iwanttobuyyourhouseandstore，"saidMr。Bloom。"Ihaven’tgottimetodicker——nameyourprice。"
　　"It’swortheighthundred，"saidHenry，toomuchdazedtoaskmorethanitsvalue。
　　"Shutthatdoor，"saidMr。Bloomtothelawyer。Thenhetoreoffhiscoatandvest，andbegantounbuttonhisshirt。
　　"Wanterfightaboutit，doyer？"saidHenryWilliams，jumpingupandcrackinghisheelstogethertwice。"Allright，hunky——sailinandcutyercapers。"
　　"Keepyourclotheson，"saidMr。Bloom。"I’monlygoingdowntothebank。"
　　Hedreweightone—hundred—dollarbillsfromhismoneybeltandplankedthemdownonthecounter。Mr。Coolyshowedsignsoffuturepromise，forhealreadyhadthedeedspreadout，andwasreachingacrossthecounterfortheinkbottle。NeverbeforeorsincewassuchquickactionhadinColdBranch。
　　"Yourname，please？"askedthelawyer。
　　"MakeitouttoPeytonBlaylock，"saidMr。Bloom。"Godknowshowtospellit。"
　　WithinthirtyminutesHenryWilliamswasoutofbusiness，andMr。
　　BloomstoodonthebricksidewalkwithMr。Cooly，whoheldinhishandthesignedandattesteddeed。
　　"You’llfindthepartyatthePinetopInn，"saidJ。PinkneyBloom。
　　"Getitrecorded，andtakeitdownandgiveittohim。He’llaskyouahell’smintofquestions；sohere’stendollarsforthetroubleyou’llhaveinnotbeingabletoanswer’em。Neverrunmuchtopoetry，didyou，youngman？"
　　"Well，"saidthereallytalentedCooly，whoevenyetretainedhisrightmind，"nowandthen。"
　　"Digintoit，"saidMr。Bloom，"it’llpayyou。Neverheardapoem，now，thatrunsomethinglikethis，didyou？——
　　AgoodthingoutofNazarethComesupsometimes，Iguess，Onhand，allright，tohelpandcheerAsuckerindistress。"
　　"Ibelievenot，"saidMr。Cooly。
　　"It’sahymn，"saidJ。PinkneyBloom。"Now，showmethewaytoaliverystable，son，forI’mgoingtohitthedirtroadbacktoOkochee。"
　　CONFESSIONSOFAHUMORIST
　　Therewasapainlessstageofincubationthatlastedtwenty—fiveyears，andthenitbrokeoutonme，andpeoplesaidIwasIt。
　　Buttheycalledithumorinsteadofmeasles。
　　Theemployeesinthestoreboughtasilverinkstandfortheseniorpartneronhisfiftiethbirthday。Wecrowdedintohisprivateofficetopresentit。Ihadbeenselectedforspokesman，andImadealittlespeechthatIhadbeenpreparingforaweek。
　　Itmadeahit。Itwasfullofpunsandepigramsandfunnytwiststhatbroughtdownthehouse——whichwasaverysolidoneinthewholesalehardwareline。OldMarlowehimselfactuallygrinned，andtheemployeestooktheircueandroared。
　　Myreputationasahumoristdatesfromhalf—pastnineo’clockonthatmorning。Forweeksafterwardmyfellowclerksfannedtheflameofmyself—esteem。Onebyonetheycametome，sayingwhatanawfullycleverspeechthatwas，oldman，andcarefullyexplainedtomethepointofeachoneofmyjokes。
　　GraduallyIfoundthatIwasexpectedtokeepitup。Othersmightspeaksanelyonbusinessmattersandtheday’stopics，butfrommesomethinggamesomeandairywasrequired。
　　Iwasexpectedtocrackjokesaboutthecrockeryandlightenupthegranitewarewithpersiflage。Iwassecondbookkeeper，andifI
　　failedtoshowupabalancesheetwithoutsomethingcomicaboutthefootingsorcouldfindnocauseforlaughterinaninvoiceofplows，theotherclerksweredisappointed。Bydegreesmyfamespread，andIbecamealocal"character。"Ourtownwassmallenoughtomakethispossible。Thedailynewspaperquotedme。AtsocialgatheringsIwasindispensable。
　　IbelieveIdidpossessconsiderablewitandafacilityforquickandspontaneousrepartee。ThisgiftIcultivatedandimprovedbypractice。Andthenatureofitwaskindlyandgenial，notrunningtosarcasmoroffendingothers。Peoplebegantosmilewhentheysawmecoming，andbythetimewehadmetIgenerallyhadthewordreadytobroadenthesmileintoalaugh。
　　Ihadmarriedearly。Wehadacharmingboyofthreeandagirloffive。Naturally，welivedinavine—coveredcottage，andwerehappy。
　　Mysalaryasbookkeeperinthehardwareconcernkeptatadistancethoseillsattendantuponsuperfluouswealth。
　　AtsundrytimesIhadwrittenoutafewjokesandconceitsthatI
　　consideredpeculiarlyhappy，andhadsentthemtocertainperiodicalsthatprintsuchthings。Allofthemhadbeeninstantlyaccepted。
　　Severaloftheeditorshadwrittentorequestfurthercontributions。
　　OnedayIreceivedaletterfromtheeditorofafamousweeklypublication。HesuggestedthatIsubmittohimahumorouscompositiontofillacolumnofspace；hintingthathewouldmakeitaregularfeatureofeachissueiftheworkprovedsatisfactory。Ididso，andattheendoftwoweeksheofferedtomakeacontractwithmeforayearatafigurethatwasconsiderablyhigherthantheamountpaidmebythehardwarefirm。
　　Iwasfilledwithdelight。Mywifealreadycrownedmeinhermindwiththeimperishableevergreensofliterarysuccess。Wehadlobstercroquettesandabottleofblackberrywineforsupperthatnight。
　　Herewasthechancetoliberatemyselffromdrudgery。ItalkedoverthematterveryseriouslywithLouisa。WeagreedthatImustresignmyplaceatthestoreanddevotemyselftohumor。
　　Iresigned。Myfellowclerksgavemeafarewellbanquet。ThespeechImadetherecoruscated。ItwasprintedinfullbytheGazette。ThenextmorningIawokeandlookedattheclock。
　　"Late，byGeorge!"Iexclaimed，andgrabbedformyclothes。LouisaremindedmethatIwasnolongeraslavetohardwareandcontractors’
　　supplies。Iwasnowaprofessionalhumorist。
　　Afterbreakfastsheproudlyledmetothelittleroomoffthekitchen。
　　Deargirl!Therewasmytableandchair，writingpad，ink，andpipetray。Andalltheauthor’strappings——thecelerystandfulloffreshrosesandhoneysuckle，lastyear’scalendaronthewall，thedictionary，andalittlebagofchocolatestonibblebetweeninspirations。Deargirl!
　　Isatmetowork。Thewallpaperispatternedwitharabesquesorodalisksor——perhaps——itistrapezoids。UpononeofthefiguresI
　　fixedmyeyes。Ibethoughtmeofhumor。
　　Avoicestartledme——Louisa’svoice。
　　"Ifyouaren’ttoobusy，dear，"itsaid，"cometodinner。"
　　Ilookedatmywatch。Yes，fivehourshadbeengatheredinbythegrimscytheman。Iwenttodinner。
　　"Youmustn’tworktoohardatfirst，"saidLouisa。"Goethe——orwasitNapoleon？——saidfivehoursadayisenoughformentallabor。Couldn’tyoutakemeandthechildrentothewoodsthisafternoon？"
　　"Iamalittletired，"Iadmitted。Sowewenttothewoods。
　　ButIsoongottheswingofit。WithinamonthIwasturningoutcopyasregularasshipmentsofhardware。
　　AndIhadsuccess。Mycolumnintheweeklymadesomestir，andIwasreferredtoinagossipywaybythecriticsassomethingfreshinthelineofhumorists。Iaugmentedmyincomeconsiderablybycontributingtootherpublications。
　　Ipickedupthetricksofthetrade。Icouldtakeafunnyideaandmakeatwo—linejokeofit，earningadollar。Withfalsewhiskerson，itwouldserveupcoldasaquatrain，doublingitsproducingvalue。Byturningtheskirtandaddingaruffleofrhymeyouwouldhardlyrecognizeitas~versdesociete~withneatlyshodfeetandafashion—plateillustration。
　　Ibegantosaveupmoney，andwehadnewcarpets，andaparlororgan。
　　MytownspeoplebegantolookuponmeasacitizenofsomeconsequenceinsteadofthemerrytrifierIhadbeenwhenIclerkedinthehardwarestore。
　　Afterfiveorsixmonthsthespontanietyseemedtodepartfrommyhumor。Quipsanddrollsayingsnolongerfellcarelesslyfrommylips。Iwassometimeshardrunformaterial。Ifoundmyselflisteningtocatchavailableideasfromtheconversationofmyfriends。SometimesIchewedmypencilandgazedatthewallpaperforhourstryingtobuildupsomegaylittlebubbleofunstudiedfun。
　　AndthenIbecameaharpy，aMoloch，aJonah，avampire，tomyacquaintances。Anxious，haggard，greedy，Istoodamongthemlikeaveritablekilljoy。Letabrightsaying，awittycomparison，apiquantphrasefallfromtheirlipsandIwasafteritlikeahoundspringinguponabone。Idarednottrustmymemory；but，turningasideguiltilyandmeanly，Iwouldmakeanoteofitinmyever—presentmemorandumbookoruponmycuffformyownfutureuse。
　　Myfriendsregardedmeinsorrowandwonder。Iwasnotthesameman。
　　WhereonceIhadfurnishedthementertainmentandjollity，Inowpreyeduponthem。Nojestsfrommeeverbidfortheirsmilesnow。
　　Theyweretooprecious。Icouldnotaffordtodispensegratuitouslythemeansofmylivelihood。
　　Iwasalugubriousfoxpraisingthesingingofmyfriends，thecrow’s，thattheymightdropfromtheirbeaksthemorselsofwitthatI
　　coveted。
　　Nearlyeveryonebegantoavoidme。Ievenforgothowtosmile，notevenpayingthatmuchforthesayingsIappropriated。
　　Nopersons，places，times，orsubjectswereexemptfrommyplunderinginsearchofmaterial。Eveninchurchmydemoralizedfancywenthuntingamongthesolemnaislesandpillarsforspoil。
　　Didtheministergiveoutthelong—meterdoxology，atonceIbegan：
　　"Doxology——sockdology——sockdolager——meter——meether。"
　　Thesermonranthroughmymentalsieve，itspreceptsfilteringunheeded，couldIbutgleanasuggestionofapunora~bonmot~。
　　ThesolemnestanthemsofthechoirwerebutanaccompanimenttomythoughtsasIconceivednewchangestoringupontheancientcomicalitiesconcerningthejealousiesofsoprano，tenor，andbasso。
　　Myownhomebecameahuntingground。Mywifeisasingularlyfemininecreature，candid，sympathetic，andimpulsive。Onceherconversationwasmydelight，andherideasasourceofunfailingpleasure。NowI
　　workedher。Shewasagoldmineofthoseamusingbutlovableinconsistenciesthatdistinguishthefemalemind。
　　Ibegantomarketthosepearlsofunwisdomandhumorthatshouldhaveenrichedonlythesacredprecinctsofhome。WithdevilishcunningI
　　encouragedhertotalk。Unsuspecting，shelaidherheartbare。Uponthecold，conspicuous，common，printedpageIofferedittothepublicgaze。
　　AliteraryJudas，Ikissedherandbetrayedher。ForpiecesofsilverIdressedhersweetconfidencesinthepantalettesandfrillsoffollyandmadethemdanceinthemarketplace。
　　DearLouisa!OfnightsIhavebentoverhercruelasawolfaboveatenderlamb，hearkeningeventohersoftwordsmurmuredinsleep，hopingtocatchanideaformynextday’sgrind。Thereisworsetocome。
　　Godhelpme!Nextmyfangswereburieddeepintheneckofthefugitivesayingsofmylittlechildren。
　　GuyandViolaweretwobrightfountainsofchildish，quaintthoughtsandspeeches。Ifoundareadysaleforthiskindofhumor，andwasfurnishingaregulardepartmentinamagazinewith"FunnyFanciesofChildhood。"IbegantostalkthemasanIndianstalkstheantelope。
　　Iwouldhidebehindsofasanddoors，orcrawlonmyhandsandkneesamongthebushesintheyardtoeavesdropwhiletheywereatplay。
　　Ihadallthequalitiesofaharpyexceptremorse。
　　Once，whenIwasbarrenofideas，andmycopymustleaveinthenextmail，Icoveredmyselfinapileofautumnleavesintheyard，whereIknewtheyintendedtocometoplay。IcannotbringmyselftobelievethatGuywasawareofmyhidingplace，butevenifhewas，Iwouldbeloathtoblamehimforhissettingfiretotheleaves，causingthedestructionofmynewsuitofclothes，andnearlycrematingaparent。
　　Soonmyownchildrenbegantoshunmeasapest。Often，whenIwascreepinguponthemlikeamelancholyghoul，Iwouldhearthemsaytoeachother："Herecomespapa，"andtheywouldgathertheirtoysandscurryawaytosomesaferhidingplace。MiserablewretchthatIwas!
　　AndyetIwasdoingwellfinancially。BeforethefirstyearhadpassedIhadsavedathousanddollars，andwehadlivedincomfort。
　　Butatwhatacost!Iamnotquiteclearastowhatapariahis，butIwaseverythingthatitsoundslike。Ihadnofriends，noamusements，noenjoymentoflife。Thehappinessofmyfamilyhadbeensacrificed。Iwasabee，suckingsordidhoneyfromlife’sfairestflowers，dreadedandshunnedonaccountofmystingo。
　　Onedayamanspoketome，withapleasantandfriendlysmile。Notinmonthshadthethinghappened。IwaspassingtheundertakingestablishmentofPeterHeffelbower。Peterstoodinthedoorandsalutedme。Istopped，strangelywrunginmyheartbyhisgreeting。
　　Heaskedmeinside。
　　Thedaywaschillandrainy。Wewentintothebackroom，whereafireburned，inalittlestove。Acustomercame，andPeterleftmealoneforawhile。PresentlyIfeltanewfeelingstealingoverme——asenseofbeautifulcalmandcontent，Ilookedaroundtheplace。
　　Therewererowsofshiningrosewoodcaskets，blackpalls，trestles，hearseplumes，mourningstreamers，andalltheparaphernaliaofthesolemntrade。Herewaspeace，order，silence，theabodeofgraveanddignifiedreflections。Here，onthebrinkoflife，wasalittlenichepervadedbythespiritofeternalrest。
　　WhenIenteredit，thefolliesoftheworldabandonedmeatthedoor。
　　Ifeltnoinclinationtowrestahumorousideafromthosesombreandstatelytrappings。Mymindseemedtostretchitselftogratefulreposeuponacouchdrapedwithgentlethoughts。
　　AquarterofanhouragoIwasanabandonedhumorist。NowIwasaphilosopher，fullofserenityandease。Ihadfoundarefugefromhumor，fromthehotchaseoftheshyquip，fromthedegradingpursuitofthepantingjoke，fromtherestlessreachafterthenimblerepartee。
　　IhadnotknownHeffelbowerwell。Whenhecameback，Ilethimtalk，fearfulthathemightprovetobeajarringnoteinthesweet，dirgelikeharmonyofhisestablishment。
　　But，no。Hechimedtruly。Igavealongsighofhappiness。NeverhaveIknownaman’stalktobeasmagnificentlydullasPeter’swas。
　　ComparedwithittheDeadSeaisageyser。Neverasparkleoraglimmerofwitmarredhiswords。Commonplacesastriteandasplentifulasblackberriesflowedfromhislipsnomorestirringinqualitythanalastweek’staperunningfromaticker。Quakingalittle，Itrieduponhimoneofmybestpointedjokes。Itfellbackineffectual，withthepointbroken。Ilovedthatmanfromthenon。
　　TwoorthreeeveningseachweekIwouldstealdowntoHeffelbower’sandrevelinhisbackroom。Thatwasmyonlyjoy。Ibegantoriseearlyandhurrythroughmywork，thatImightspendmoretimeinmyhaven。InnootherplacecouldIthrowoffmyhabitofextractinghumorousideasfrommysurroundings。Peter’stalkleftmenoopeninghadIbesiegediteversohard。
　　UnderthisinfluenceIbegantoimproveinspirits。Itwastherecreationfromone’slaborwhicheverymanneeds。IsurprisedoneortwoofmyformerfriendsbythrowingthemasmileandacheerywordasIpassedthemonthestreets。SeveraltimesIdumfoundedmyfamilybyrelaxinglongenoughtomakeajocoseremarkintheirpresence。
　　IhadsolongbeenriddenbytheincubusofhumorthatIseizedmyhoursofholidaywithaschoolboy’szest。
　　Mvworkbegantosuffer。Itwasnotthepainandburdentomethatithadbeen。Ioftenwhistledatmydesk，andwrotewithfarmorefluencythanbefore。Iaccomplishedmytasksimpatiently，asanxioustobeofftomyhelpfulretreatasadrunkardistogettohistavern。
　　MywifehadsomeanxioushoursinconjecturingwhereIspentmyafternoons。Ithoughtitbestnottotellher；womendonotunderstandthesethings。Poorgirl!——shehadoneshockoutofit。
　　OnedayIbroughthomeasilvercoffinhandleforapaperweightandafine，fluffyhearseplumetodustmypaperswith。
　　Ilovedtoseethemonmydesk，andthinkofthebelovedbackroomdownatHeffelbower’s。ButLouisafoundthem，andsheshriekedwithhorror。Ihadtoconsoleherwithsomelameexcuseforhavingthem，butIsawinhereyesthattheprejudicewasnotremoved。Ihadtoremovethearticles，though，atdouble—quicktime。
　　OnedayPeterHeffelbowerlaidbeforemeatemptationthatsweptmeoffmyfeet。Inhissensible，uninspiredwayheshowedmehisbooks，andexplainedthathisprofitsandhisbusinesswereincreasingrapidly。Hehadthoughtoftakinginapartnerwithsomecash。Hewouldratherhavemethananyoneheknew。WhenIlefthisplacethatafternoonPeterhadmycheckforthethousanddollarsIhadinthebank，andIwasapartnerinhisundertakingbusiness。
　　Iwenthomewithfeelingsofdeliriousjoy，mingledwithacertainamountofdoubt。Iwasdreadingtotellmywifeaboutit。ButI
　　walkedonair。Togiveupthewritingofhumorousstuff，oncemoretoenjoytheapplesoflife，insteadofsqueezingthemtoapulpforafewdropsofhardcidertomakethepubicfeelfunny——whataboonthatwouldbe!
　　AtthesuppertableLouisahandedmesomelettersthathadcomeduringmyabsence。Severalofthemcontainedrejectedmanuscript。EversinceIfirstbegangoingtoHeffelbower’smystuffhadbeencomingbackwithalarmingfrequency。LatelyIhadbeendashingoffmyjokesandarticleswiththegreatestfluency。PreviouslyIhadlaboredlikeabricklayer，slowlyandwithagony。
　　PresentlyIopenedaletterfromtheeditoroftheweeklywithwhichI
　　hadaregularcontract。Thechecksforthatweeklyarticlewerestillourmaindependence。Theletterranthus：
　　DEARSIR：
　　Asyouareaware，ourcontractfortheyearexpireswiththepresentmonth。Whileregrettingthenecessityforsodoing，wemustsaythatwedonotcaretorenewsameforthecomingyear。Wewerequitepleasedwithyourstyleofhumor，whichseemstohavedelightedquitealargeproportionofourreaders。Butforthepasttwomonthswehavenoticedadecidedfallingoffinitsquality。Yourearlierworkshowedaspontaneous，easy，naturalflowoffunandwit。Oflateitislabored，studied，andunconvincing，givingpainfulevidenceofhardtoilanddrudgingmechanism。
　　Againregrettingthatwedonotconsideryourcontributionsavailableanylonger，weare，yourssincerely，THEEDITOR。
　　Ihandedthislettertomywife。Aftershehadreaditherfacegrewextremelylong，andthereweretearsinhereyes。
　　"Themeanoldthing!"sheexclaimedindignantly。"I’msureyourpiecesarejustasgoodastheyeverwere。Anditdoesn’ttakeyouhalfaslongtowritethemasitdid。"Andthen，Isuppose，Louisathoughtofthechecksthatwouldceasecoming。"Oh，John，"shewailed，"whatwillyoudonow？"
　　ForananswerIgotupandbegantodoapolkasteparoundthesuppertable。IamsureLouisathoughtthetroublehaddrivenmemad；andIthinkthechildrenhopedithad，fortheytoreafterme，yellingwithgleeandemulatingmysteps。Iwasnowsomethingliketheiroldplaymateasofyore。
　　"Thetheatreforusto—night!"Ishouted；"nothingless。Andalate，wild，disreputablesupperforallofusatthePalaceRestaurant。
　　Lumpty—diddle—de—dee—de—dum!"
　　AndthenIexplainedmygleebydeclaringthatIwasnowapartnerinaprosperousundertakingestablishment，andthatwrittenjokesmightgohidetheirheadsinsackclothandashesforallme。
　　Withtheeditor’sletterinherhandtojustifythedeedIhaddone，mywifecouldadvancenoobjectionssaveafewmildonesbasedonthefeminineinabilitytoappreciateagoodthingsuchasthelittlebackroomofPeterHef——no，ofHeffelbower&Co’s。undertakingestablishment。
　　Inconclusion，Iwillsaythatto—dayyouwillfindnomaninourtownaswellliked，asjovial，andfullofmerrysayingsasI。Myjokesareagainnoisedaboutandquoted；oncemoreItakepleasureinmywife’sconfidentialchatterwithoutamercenarythought，whileGuyandViolaplayatmyfeetdistributinggemsofchildishhumorwithoutfearoftheghastlytormentorwhousedtodogtheirsteps，notebookinhand。
　　Ourbusinesshasprosperedfinely。Ikeepthebooksandlookaftertheshop，whilePeterattendstooutsidematters。HesaysthatmylevityandhighspiritswouldsimplyturnanyfuneralintoaregularIrishwake。
　　THESPARROWSINMADISONSQUARE
　　TheyoungmaninstraitenedcircumstanceswhocomestoNewYorkCitytoenterliteraturehasbutonethingtodo，providedhehasstudiedcarefullyhisfieldinadvance。HemustgostraighttoMadisonSquare，writeanarticleaboutthesparrowsthere，andsellittothe~Sun~for$15。
　　Icannotrecalleitheranovelorastorydealingwiththepopularthemeoftheyoungwriterfromtheprovinceswhocomestothemetropolistowinfameandfortunewithhispeninwhichtheherodoesnotgethisstartthatway。Itdoesseemstrangethatsomeauthor，incastingaboutforstartlinglyoriginalplots，hasnothitupontheideaofhavinghisherowriteaboutthebluebirdsinUnionSquareandsellittothe~Herald~。ButasearchthroughthefilesofmetropolitanfictioncountsupoverwhelminglyforthesparrowsandtheoldGardenSquare，andthe~Sun~alwayswritesthecheck。
　　Ofcourseitiseasytounderstandwhythisfirstcityventureofthebuddingauthorisalwayssuccessful。Heisprimedbynecessitytoasuperlativeeffort；midtheironandstoneandmarbleoftheroaringcityhehasfoundthisspotofsingingbirdsandgreengrassandtrees；everytendersentimentinhisnatureisbafflingwiththesweetpainofhomesickness；hisgeniusisarousedasitnevermaybeagain；
　　thebirdschirp，thetreebranchessway，thenoiseofwheelsisforgotten；hewriteswithhissoulinhispen——andhesellsittothe~Sun~for$15。
　　IhadreadofthiscustomduringmanyyearsbeforeIcametoNewYork。
　　Whenmyfriendswereusingtheirstrongestargumentstodissuademefromcoming，Ionlysmiledserenely。TheydidnotknowofthatsparrowgraftIhadupmysleeve。
　　WhenIarrivedinNewYork，andthecartookmestraightfromtheferryupTwenty—thirdStreettoMadisonSquare，Icouldhearthat$15checkrustlinginmyinsidepocket。
　　Iobtainedlodgingatanunhyphenatedhostelry，andthenextmorningIwasonabenchinMadisonSquarealmostbythetimethesparrowswereawake。Theirmelodiouschirping，thebenignantspringfoliageofthenobletreesandtheclean，fragrantgrassremindedmesopotentlyoftheoldfarmIhadleftthattearsalmostcameintomyeyes。
　　Then，allinamoment，Ifeltmyinspiration。Thebrave，piercingnotesofthosecheerfulsmallbirdsformedakeynotetoawonderful，light，fancifulsongofhopeandjoyandaltruism。Likemyself，theywerecreatureswithheartspitchedtothetuneofwoodsandfields；
　　asIwas，soweretheycaptivesbycircumstanceinthediscordant，dullcity——yetwithhowmuchgraceandgleetheyboretherestraint!
　　Andthentheearlymorningpeoplebegantopassthroughthesquaretotheirwork——sullenpeople，withsidelongglancesandglumfaces，hurrying，hurrying，hurrying。AndIgotmythemecutoutclearfromthebirdnotes，andwroughtitintoalesson，andapoem，andacarnivaldance，andalullaby；andthentranslateditallintoproseandbegantowrite。
　　Fortwohoursmypenciltraveledovermypadwithscarcelyarest。
　　ThenIwenttothelittleroomIhadrentedfortwodays，andthereIcutittohalf，andthenmailedit，white—hot，tothe~Sun~。
　　ThenextmorningIwasupbydaylightandspenttwocentsofmycapitalforapaper。Iftheword"sparrow"wasinitIwasunabletofindit。Itookituptomyroomandspreaditoutonthebedandwentoverit，columnbycolumn。Somethingwaswrong。
　　ThreehoursafterwardthepostmanbroughtmealargeenvelopecontainingmyMS。andapieceofinexpensivepaper，about3inchesby4——Isupposesomeofyouhaveseenthem——uponwhichwaswritteninvioletink，"Withthe~Sun’s~thanks。"
　　Iwentovertothesquareandsatuponabench。No；Ididnotthinkitnecessarytoeatanybreakfastthatmorning。Theconfoundedpestsofsparrowsweremakingthesquarehideouswiththeiridiotic"cheep，cheep。"Ineversawbirdssopersistentlynoisy，impudent，anddisagreeableinallmylife。
　　Bythistime，accordingtoalltraditions，Ishouldhavebeenstandingintheofficeoftheeditorofthe~Sun~。Thatpersonage——atall，grave，white—hairedman——wouldstrikeasilverbellashegraspedmyhandandwipedasuspiciousmoisturefromhisglasses。
　　"Mr。McChesney，"hewouldbesayingwhenasubordinateappeared，"thisisMr。Henry，theyoungmanwhosentinthatexquisitegemaboutthesparrowsinMadisonSquare。Youmaygivehimadeskatonce。Yoursalary，sir，willbe$80aweek，tobeginwith。"
　　ThiswaswhatIhadbeenledtoexpectbyallwriterswhohaveevolvedromancesofliteraryNewYork。
　　Somethingwasdecidedlywrongwithtradition。Icouldnotassumetheblame，soIfixedituponthesparrows。Ibegantohatethemwithintensityandheat。
　　Atthatmomentanindividualwearinganexcessofwhiskers，twohats，andapestilentialairslidintotheseatbesideme。
　　"Say，Willie，"hemutteredcajolingly，"couldyoucoughupadimeoutofyourcoffersforacupofcoffeethismorning？"
　　"I’mlung—weary，myfriend，"saidI。"ThebestIcandoisthreecents。"
　　"Andyoulooklikeagentleman，too，"saidhe。"Whatbrungyoudown？——boozer？"
　　"Birds，"Isaidfiercely。"Thebrown—throatedsongsterscarollingsongsofhopeandcheertowearymantoilingamidthecity’sdustanddin。Thelittlefeatheredcouriersfromthemeadowsandwoodschirpingsweetlytousofblueskiesandfloweringfields。Theconfoundedlittlesquint—eyednuisancesyawpinglikeaflockofsteampianos，andstuffingthemselveslikealdermenwithgrassseedsandbugs，whileamansitsonabenchandgoeswithouthisbreakfast。
　　Yes，sir，birds!lookatthem!"
　　AsIspokeIpickedupadeadtreebranchthatlaybythebench，andhurleditwithallmyforceintoaclosecongregationofthesparrowsonthegrass。Theflockflewtothetreeswithababelofshrillcries；buttwoofthemremainedprostrateupontheturf。
　　Inamomentmyunsavoryfriendhadleapedovertherowofbenchesandsecuredtheflutteringvictims，whichhethrusthurriedlyintohispockets。Thenhebeckonedmewithadirtyforefinger。
　　"Comeon，cully，"hesaidhoarsely。"You’reinonthefeed。"
　　Thankyouverymuch!
　　WeaklyIfollowedmydingyacquaintance。Heledmeawayfromtheparkdownasidestreetandthroughacrackinafenceintoavacantlotwheresomeexcavatinghadbeengoingon。Behindapileofoldstonesandlumberhepaused，andtookouthisbirds。
　　"Igotmatches，"saidhe。"Yougotanypapertostartafirewith？"
　　Idrewforthmymanuscriptstoryofthesparrows，andoffereditforburntsacrifice。Therewereoldplanks，splinters，andchipsforourfire。Myfrowsyfriendproducedfromsomeinteriorofhisfrayedclothinghalfaloafofbread，pepper，andsalt。
　　Intenminuteseachofuswasholdingasparrowspitteduponastickovertheleapingflames。
　　"Say，"saidmyfellowbivouacker，"thisain’tsobadwhenafellow’shungry。ItremindsmeofwhenIstruckNewYorkfirst——aboutfifteenyearsago。IcomeinfromtheWesttoseeifIcouldgetajobonanewspaper。IhittheMadisonSquareParkthefirstmornin’after，andwassittingaroundonthebenches。Inoticedthesparrowschirpin’，andthegrassandtreessoniceandgreenthatIthoughtIwasbackinthecountryagain。ThenIgotsomepapersoutofmypocket，and——"
　　"Iknow，"Iinterrupted。"Yousentittothe~Sun~andgot$15。"
　　"Say，"saidmyfriend，suspiciously，"youseemtoknowagooddeal。
　　Wherewasyou？Iwenttosleeponthebenchthere，inthesun，andsomebodytouchedmeforeverycentIhad——$15。"
　　HEARTSANDHANDS
　　AtDenvertherewasaninfluxofpassengersintothecoachesontheeastboundB。&M。express。Inonecoachtheresataveryprettyyoungwomandressedineleganttasteandsurroundedbyalltheluxuriouscomfortsofanexperiencedtraveler。Amongthenewcomersweretwoyoungmen，oneofhandsomepresencewithabold，frankcountenanceandmanner；theotheraruffled，glum—facedperson，heavilybuiltandroughlydressed。Thetwowerehandcuffedtogether。
　　Astheypasseddowntheaisleofthecoachtheonlyvacantseatofferedwasareversedonefacingtheattractiveyoungwoman。Herethelinkedcoupleseatedthemselves。Theyoungwoman’sglancefelluponthemwithadistant，swiftdisinterest；thenwithalovelysmilebrighteninghercountenanceandatenderpinktingeingherroundedcheeks，sheheldoutalittlegray—glovedhand。Whenshespokehervoice，full，sweet，anddeliberate，proclaimedthatitsownerwasaccustomedtospeakandbeheard。
　　"Well，Mr。Easton，ifyou~will~makemespeakfirst，IsupposeI
　　must。Don’tvoueverrecognizeoldfriendswhenyoumeetthemintheWest？"
　　Theyoungermanrousedhimselfsharplyatthesoundofhervoice，seemedtostrugglewithaslightembarrassmentwhichhethrewoffinstantly，andthenclaspedherfingerswithhislefthand。
　　"It’sMissFairchild，"hesaid，withasmile。"I’llaskyoutoexcusetheotherhand；"it’sotherwiseengagedjustatpresent。"
　　Heslightlyraisedhisrighthand，boundatthewristbytheshining"bracelet"totheleftoneofhiscompanion。Thegladlookinthegirl’seyesslowlychangedtoabewilderedhorror。Theglowfadedfromhercheeks。Herlipspartedinavague，relaxingdistress。
　　Easton，withalittlelaugh，asifamused，wasabouttospeakagainwhentheotherforestalledhim。Theglum—facedmanhadbeenwatchingthegirl’scountenancewithveiledglancesfromhiskeen，shrewdeyes。
　　"You’llexcusemeforspeaking，miss，but，Iseeyou’reacquaintedwiththemarshallhere。Ifyou’llaskhimtospeakawordformewhenwegettothepenhe’lldoit，andit’llmakethingseasierformethere。He’stakingmetoLeavenworthprison。It’ssevenyearsforcounterfeiting。"
　　"Oh!"saidthegirl，withadeepbreathandreturningcolor。"Sothatiswhatyouaredoingouthere？Amarshal!"
　　"MydearMissFairchild，"saidEaston，calmly，"Ihadtodosomething。
　　Moneyhasawayoftakingwingsuntoitself，andyouknowittakesmoneytokeepstepwithourcrowdinWashington。IsawthisopeningintheWest，and——well，amarshalshipisn’tquiteashighapositionasthatofambassador，but——"
　　"Theambassador，"saidthegirl，warmly，"doesn’tcallanymore。Heneedn’teverhavedoneso。Yououghttoknowthat。AndsonowyouareoneofthesedashingWesternheroes，andyourideandshootandgointoallkindsofdangers。That’sdifferentfromtheWashingtonlife。
　　Youhavebeenmissedfromtheoldcrowd。"
　　Thegirl’seyes，fascinated，wentback，wideningalittle，torestupontheglitteringhandcuffs。
　　"Don’tyouworryaboutthem，miss，"saidtheotherman。"Allmarshalshandcuffthemselvestotheirprisonerstokeepthemfromgettingaway。
　　Mr。Eastonknowshisbusiness。"
　　"WillweseeyouagainsooninWashington？"askedthegirl。
　　"Notsoon，Ithink，"saidEaston。"Mybutterflydaysareover，I
　　fear。"
　　"IlovetheWest，"saidthegirlirrelevantly。Hereyeswereshiningsoftly。Shelookedawayoutthecarwindow。Shebegantospeaktrulyandsimplywithouttheglossofstyleandmanner：
　　"MammaandIspentthesummerinDenver。Shewenthomeaweekagobecausefatherwasslightlyill。IcouldliveandbehappyintheWest。Ithinktheairhereagreeswithme。Moneyisn’teverything。
　　Butpeoplealwaysmisunderstandthingsandremainstupid——"
　　"Say，Mr。Marshal，"growledtheglum—facedman。"Thisisn’tquitefair。I’mneedingadrink，andhaven’thadasmokeallday。Haven’tyoutalkedlongenough？Takemeinthesmokernow，won’tyou？I’mhalfdeadforapipe。"
　　Theboundtravelersrosetotheirfeet，Eastonwiththesameslowsmileonhisface。
　　"Ican’tdenyapetitionfortobacco，"hesaid，lightly。"It’stheonefriendoftheunfortunate。Good—bye，MissFairchild。Dutycalls，youknow。"Heheldouthishandforafarewell。
　　"It’stoobadyouarenotgoingEast，"shesaid，reclothingherselfwithmannerandstyle。"ButyoumustgoontoLeavenworth，I
　　suppose？"
　　"Yes，"saidEaston，"ImustgoontoLeavenworth。"
　　Thetwomensidleddowntheaisleintothesmoker。
　　Thetwopassengersinaseatnearbyhadheardmostoftheconversation。Saidoneofthem："Thatmarshal’sagoodsortofchap。SomeoftheseWesternfellowsareallright。"
　　"Prettyyoungtoholdanofficelikethat，isn’the？"askedtheother。
　　"Young!"exclaimedthefirstspeaker，"why——Oh!didn’tyoucatchon？
　　Say——didyoueverknowanofficertohandcuffaprisonertohis~right~hand？"
　　THECACTUS
　　ThemostnotablethingaboutTimeisthatitissopurelyrelative。Alargeamountofreminiscenceis，bycommonconsent，concededtothedrowningman；anditisnotpastbeliefthatonemayreviewanentirecourtshipwhileremovingone’sgloves。
　　ThatiswhatTrysdalewasdoing，standingbyatableinhisbachelorapartments。Onthetablestoodasingular—lookinggreenplantinaredearthenjar。Theplantwasoneofthespeciesofcacti，andwasprovidedwithlong，tentacularleavesthatperpetuallyswayedwiththeslightestbreezewithapeculiarbeckoningmotion。
　　Trysdale’sfriend，thebrotherofthebride，stoodatasideboardcomplainingatbeingallowedtodrinkalone。Bothmenwereineveningdress。Whitefavorslikestarsupontheircoatsshonethroughthegloomoftheapartment。
　　Asheslowlyunbuttonedhisgloves，therepassedthroughTrysdale’smindaswift，scarifyingretrospectofthelastfewhours。Itseemedthatinhisnostrilswasstillthescentoftheflowersthathadbeenbankedinodorousmassesaboutthechurch，andinhisearsthelowpitchedhumofathousandwell—bredvoices，therustleofcrispgarments，and，mostinsistentlyrecurring，thedrawlingwordsoftheministerirrevocablybindinghertoanother。
　　>Fromthislasthopelesspointofviewhestillstrove，asifithadbecomeahabitofhismind，toreachsomeconjectureastowhyandhowhehadlosther。Shakenrudelybytheuncompromisingfact，hehadsuddenlyfoundhimselfconfrontedbyathinghehadneverbeforefaced——hisowninnermost，unmitigated，aridunbedeckedself。Hesawallthegarbsofpretenceandegoismthathehadwornnowturntoragsoffolly。Heshudderedatthethoughtthattoothers，beforenow，thegarmentsofhissoulmusthaveappearedsorryandthreadbare。
　　Vanityandconceit？Thesewerethejointsinhisarmor。Andhowfreefromeithershehadalwaysbeen——Butwhy——
　　Asshehadslowlymoveduptheaisletowardthealtarhehadfeltanunworthy，sullenexultationthathadservedtosupporthim。Hehadtoldhimselfthatherpalenesswasfromthoughtsofanotherthanthemantowhomshewasabouttogiveherself。Buteventhatpoorconsolationhadbeenwrenchedfromhim。For，whenhesawthatswift，limpid，upwardlookthatshegavethemanwhenhetookherhand，heknewhimselftobeforgotten。Oncethatsamelookhadbeenraisedtohim，andhehadgaugeditsmeaning。Indeed，hisconceithadcrumbled；itslastpropwasgone。Whyhaditendedthus？Therehadbeennoquarrelbetweenthem，nothing——
　　Forthethousandthtimeheremarshalledinhismindtheeventsofthoselastfewdaysbeforethetidehadsosuddenlyturned。
　　Shehadalwaysinsisteduponplacinghimuponapedestal，andhehadacceptedherhomagewithroyalgrandeur。Ithadbeenaverysweetincensethatshehadburnedbeforehim；somodest（hetoldhimself）；
　　sochildlikeandworshipful，and（hewouldoncehavesworn）sosincere。Shehadinvestedhimwithanalmostsupernaturalnumberofhighattributesandexcellenciesandtalents，andhehadabsorbedtheoblationasadesertdrinkstherainthatcancoaxfromitnopromiseofblossomorfruit。
　　AsTrysdalegrimlywrenchedaparttheseamofhislastglove，thecrowninginstanceofhisfatuousandtardilymournedegoismcamevividlybacktohim。Thescenewasthenightwhenhehadaskedhertocomeuponhispedestalwithhimandsharehisgreatness。Hecouldnot，now，forthepainofit，allowhismindtodwelluponthememoryofherconvincingbeautythatnight——thecarelesswaveofherhair，thetendernessandvirginalcharmofherlooksandwords。Buttheyhadbeenenough，andtheyhadbroughthimtospeak。Duringtheirconversationshehadsaid：
　　"AndCaptainCarrutherstellsmethatyouspeaktheSpanishlanguagelikeanative。Whyhaveyouhiddenthisaccomplishmentfromme？Isthereanythingyoudonotknow？"
　　Now，Carrutherswasanidiot。Nodoubthe（Trysdale）hadbeenguilty（hesometimesdidsuchthings）ofairingattheclubsomeold，cantingCastilianproverbdugfromthehotchpotchatthebackofdictionaries。
　　Carruthers，whowasoneofhisincontinentadmirers，wastheverymantohavemagnifiedthisexhibitionofdoubtfulerudition。
　　But，alas!theincenseofheradmirationhadbeensosweetandflattering。Heallowedtheimputationtopasswithoutdenial。
　　Withoutprotest，heallowedhertotwineabouthisbrowthisspuriousbayofSpanishscholarship。Heletitgracehisconqueringhead，and，amongitssoftconvolutions，hedidnotfeeltheprickofthethornthatwastopiercehimlater。
　　Howglad，howshy，howtremulousshewas!Howsheflutteredlikeasnaredbirdwhenhelaidhismightinessatherfeet!Hecouldhavesworn，andhecouldswearnow，thatunmistakableconsentwasinhereyes，but，coyly，shewouldgivehimnodirectanswer。"Iwillsendyoumyanswerto—morrow，"shesaid；andhe，theindulgent，confidentvictor，smilinglygrantedthedelay。Thenextdayhewaited，impatient，inhisroomsfortheword。Atnoonhergroomcametothedoorandleftthestrangecactusintheredearthenjar。Therewasnonote，nomessage，merelyatagupontheplantbearingabarbarousforeignorbotanicalname。Hewaiteduntilnight，butheranswerdidnotcome。Hislargeprideandhurtvanitykepthimfromseekingher。
　　Twoeveningslatertheymetatadinner。Theirgreetingswereconventional，butshelookedathim，breathless，wondering，eager。
　　Hewascourteous，adamant，waitingherexplanation。Withwomanlyswiftnessshetookhercuefromhismanner，andturnedtosnowandice。Thus，andwiderfromthison，theyhaddriftedapart。Wherewashisfault？Whohadbeentoblame？Humblednow，hesoughttheansweramidtheruinsofhisself—conceit。If——
　　Thevoiceoftheothermanintheroom，querulouslyintrudinguponhisthoughts，arousedhim。
　　"Isay，Trysdale，whatthedeuceisthematterwithyou？Youlookunhappyasifyouyourselfhadbeenmarriedinsteadofhavingactedmerelyasanaccomplice。Lookatme，anotheraccessory，cometwothousandmilesonagarlicky，cockroachybananasteamerallthewayfromSouthAmericatoconniveatthesacrifice——pleasetoobservehowlightlymyguiltrestsuponmyshoulders。OnlylittlesisterIhad，too，andnowshe’sgone。Comenow!takesomethingtoeaseyourconscience。"
　　"Idon’tdrinkjustnow，thanks，"saidTrysdale。
　　"Yourbrandy，"resumedtheother，comingoverandjoininghim，"isabominable。RundowntoseemesometimeatPuntaRedonda，andtrysomeofourstuffthatoldGarciasmugglesin。It’sworththe，trip。
　　Hallo!here’sanoldacquaintance。Whereverdidyourakeupthiscactus，Trysdale？"
　　"Apresent，"saidTrysdale，"fromafriend。Knowthespecies？"
　　"Verywell。It’satropicalconcern。Seehundredsof’emaroundPuntaeveryday。Here’sthenameonthistagtiedtoit。KnowanySpanish，Trysdale？"
　　"No，"saidTrysdale，withthebitterwraithofasmile——"IsitSpanish？"
　　"Yes。Thenativesimaginetheleavesarereachingoutandbeckoningtoyou。Theycallitbythisname——Ventomarme。NamemeansinEnglish，’Comeandtakeme。’"
　　THEDETECTIVEDETECTOR
　　IwaswalkinginCentralParkwithAveryKnight，thegreatNewYorkburglar，highwayman，andmurderer。
　　"But，mydearKnight，"saidI，"itsoundsincredible。Youhaveundoubtedlyperformedsomeofthemostwonderfulfeatsinyourprofessionknowntomoderncrime。Youhavecommittedsomemarvellousdeedsundertheverynosesofthepolice——youhaveboldlyenteredthehomesofmillionairesandheldthemupwithanemptygunwhileyoumadefreewiththeirsilverandjewels；youhavesandbaggedcitizensintheglareofBroadway’selectriclights；youhavekilledandrobbedwithsuperbopennessandabsoluteimpunity——butwhenyouboastthatwithinforty—eighthoursaftercommittingamurderyoucanrundownandactuallybringmefacetofacewiththedetectiveassignedtoapprehendyou，Imustbegleavetoexpressmydoubts——remember，youareinNewYork。"
　　AveryKnightsmiledindulgently。
　　"Youpiquemyprofessionalpride，doctor，"hesaidinanettledtone。"Iwillconvinceyou。"
　　Abouttwelveyardsinadvanceofusaprosperous—lookingcitizenwasroundingaclumpofbusheswherethewalkcurved。Knightsuddenlydrewarevolverandshotthemanintheback。Hisvictimfellandlaywithoutmoving。
　　Thegreatmurdererwentuptohimleisurelyandtookfromhisclotheshismoney，watch，andavaluableringandcravatpin。Hethenrejoinedmesmilingcalmly，andwecontinuedourwalk。
　　Tenstepsandwemetapolicemanrunningtowardthespotwheretheshothadbeenfired。AveryKnightstoppedhim。
　　"Ihavejustkilledaman，"heannounced，seriously，"androbbedhimofhispossessions。"
　　"G’wan，"saidthepoliceman，angrily，"orI’llrunyezin!Wantyernameinthepapers，don’tyez？Ineverknewthecrankstocomearoundsoquickafterashootin’before。Outofth’park，now，foryours，orI’llfanyez。"
　　"Whatyouhavedone，"Isaid，argumentatively，asKnightandIwalkedon，"waseasy。Butwhenyoucometothetaskofhuntingdownthedetectivethattheysenduponyourtrailyouwillfindthatyouhaveundertakenadifficultfeat。"
　　"Perhapsso，"saidKnight，lightly。"Iwilladmitthatmysuccessdependsinadegreeuponthesortofmantheystartafterme。Ifitshouldbeanordinaryplain—clothesmanImightfailtogainasightofhim。IftheyhonormebygivingthecasetosomeoneoftheircelebratedsleuthsIdonotfeartomatchmycunningandpowersofinductionagainsthis。"
　　OnthenextafternoonKnightenteredmyofficewithasatisfiedlookonhiskeencountenance。
　　"Howgoesthemysteriousmurder？"Iasked。
　　"Asusual，"saidKnight，smilingly。"Ihaveputinthemorningatthepolicestationandattheinquest。Itseemsthatacardcaseofminecontainingcardswithmynameandaddresswasfoundnearthebody。
　　Theyhavethreewitnesseswhosawtheshootingandgaveadescriptionofme。ThecasehasbeenplacedinthehandsofShamrockJolnes，thefamousdetective。HeleftHeadquartersat11：30ontheassignment。
　　Iwaitedatmyaddressuntiltwo，thinkinghemightcallthere。"
　　Ilaughed，tauntingly。
　　"YouwillneverseeJolnes，"Icontinued，"untilthismurderhasbeenforgotten，twoorthreeweeksfromnow。Ihadabetteropinionofyourshrewdness，Knight。Duringthethreehoursandahalfthatyouwaitedhehasgotoutofyourken。Heisafteryouontrueinductiontheoriesnow，andnowrongdoerhasyetbeenknowntocomeuponhimwhilethusengaged。Iadviseyoutogiveitup。"
　　"Doctor，"saidKnight，withasuddenglintinhiskeengrayeyeandasquaringofhischin，"inspiteoftherecordyourcityholdsofsomethinglikeadozenhomicideswithoutasubsequentmeetingoftheperpetrator，andthesleuthinchargeofthecase，Iwillundertaketobreakthatrecord。To—morrowIwilltakeyoutoShamrockJolnes——
　　Iwillunmaskhimbeforeyouandprovetoyouthatitisnotanimpossibilityforanofficerofthelawandamanslayertostandfacetofaceinyourcity。"
　　"Doit，"saidI，"andyou’llhavethesincerethanksofthePoliceDepartment。"
　　OnthenextdayKnightcalledformeinacab。
　　"I’vebeenononeortwofalsescents，doctor，"headmitted。"Iknowsomethingofdetectives’methods，andIfollowedoutafewofthem，expectingtofindJolnesattheotherend。Thepistolbeinga。45—
　　caliber，IthoughtsurelyIwouldfindhimatworkontheclueinForty—fifthStreet。Then，again，IlookedforthedetectiveattheColumbiaUniversity，astheman’sbeingshotinthebacknaturallysuggestedhazing。ButIcouldnotfindatraceofhim。"
　　"——Norwillyou，"Isaid，emphatically。
　　"Notbyordinarymethods，"saidKnight。"ImightwalkupanddownBroadwayforamonthwithoutsuccess。Butyouhavearousedmypride，doctor；andifIfailtoshowyouShamrockJolnesthisday，IpromiseyouIwillneverkillorrobinyourcityagain。"
　　"Nonsense，man，"Ireplied。"Whenourburglarswalkintoourhousesandpolitelydemand，thousandsofdollars’worthofjewels，andthendineandbangthepianoanhourortwobeforeleaving，howdoyou，ameremurderer，expecttocomeincontactwiththedetectivethatislookingforyou？"
　　AveryKnight，satlostinthoughtforawhile。Atlengthhelookedupbrightly。
　　"Doc，"saidhe，"Ihaveit。Putonyourhat，andcomewithme。InhalfanhourIguaranteethatyoushallstandinthepresenceofShamrockJolnes。"
　　IenteredacabwithAveryKnight。Ididnothearhisinstructionstothedriver，butthevehiclesetoutatasmartpaceupBroadway，turningpresentlyintoFifthAvenue，andproceedingnorthwardagain。
　　ItwaswitharapidlybeatingheartthatIaccompaniedthiswonderfulandgiftedassassin，whoseanalyticalgeniusandsuperbself—
　　confidencehadpromptedhimtomakemethetremendouspromiseofbringingmeintothepresenceofamurdererandtheNewYorkdetectiveinpursuitofhimsimultaneously。EvenyetIcouldnotbelieveitpossible。
　　"Areyousurethatyouarenotbeingledintosometrap？"Iasked。
　　"Supposethatyourclue，whateveritis，shouldbringusonlyintothepresenceoftheCommissionerofPoliceandacoupleofdozencops!"
　　"Mydeardoctor，"saidKnight，alittlestiffly。"IwouldremindyouthatIamnogambler。"
　　"Ibegyourpardon，"saidI。"ButIdonotthinkyouwillfindJolnes。"
　　Thecabstoppedbeforeoneofthehandsomestresidencesontheavenue。
　　Walkingupanddowninfrontofthehousewasamanwithlongredwhiskers，withadetective’sbadgeshowingonthelapelofhiscoat。
　　Nowandthenthemanwouldremovehiswhiskerstowipehisface，andthenIwouldrecognizeatoncethewell—knownfeaturesofthegreatNewYorkdetective。Jolneswaskeepingasharpwatchuponthedoorsandwindowsofthehouse。
　　"Well，doctor，"saidKnight，unabletorepressanoteoftriumphinhisvoice，"haveyouseen？"
　　"Itiswonderful——wonderful!"Icouldnothelpexclaimingasourcabstartedonitsreturntrip。"Buthowdidyoudoit？Bywhatprocessofinduction——"
　　"Mydeardoctor，"interruptedthegreatmurderer，"theinductivetheoryiswhatthedetectivesuse。Myprocessismoremodern。I
　　callitthesaltatorialtheory。Withoutbotheringwiththetediousmentalphenomenanecessarytothesolutionofamysteryfromslightclues，Ijumpatoncetoaconclusion。IwillexplaintoyouthemethodIemployedinthiscase。
　　"Inthefirstplace，IarguedthatasthecrimewascommittedinNewYorkCityinbroaddaylight，inapublicplaceandunderpeculiarlyatrociouscircumstances，andthatasthemostskilfulsleuthavailablewasletlooseuponthecase，theperpetratorwouldneverbediscovered。Doyounotthinkmypostulationjustifiedbyprecedent？"
　　"Perhapsso，"Ireplied，doggedly。"ButifBigBillDev——"
　　"Stopthat，"interruptedKnight，withasmile，"I’veheardthatseveraltimes。It’stoolatenow。Iwillproceed。
　　"IfhomicidesinNewYorkwentundiscovered，Ireasoned，althoughthebestdetectivetalentwasemployedtoferretthemout，itmustbetruethatthedetectiveswentabouttheirworkinthewrongway。
　　Andnotonlyinthewrongway，butexactlyoppositefromtherightway。Thatwasmyclue。
　　"IslewthemaninCentralPark。Now，letmedescribemyselftoyou。