Amaterialrefuge。Hehadnothing。Hehadnotevenamoralrefuge——therefugeofconfidence。Towhomcouldhegowiththistale——inallthisgreat,greatland?
Razumovstampedhisfoot——andunderthesoftcarpetofsnowfeltthehardgroundofRussia,inanimate,cold,inert,likeasullenandtragicmotherhidingherfaceunderawinding—sheet——hisnativesoil!——hisveryown——withoutafireside,withoutaheart!
Hecasthiseyesupwardsandstoodamazed。Thesnowhadceasedtofall,andnow,asifbyamiracle,hesawabovehisheadtheclearblackskyofthenorthernwinter,decoratedwiththesumptuousfiresofthestars。Itwasacanopyfitfortheresplendentpurityofthesnows。
Razumovreceivedanalmostphysicalimpressionofendlessspaceandofcountlessmillions。
HerespondedtoitwiththereadinessofaRussianwhoisborntoaninheritanceofspaceandnumbers。Underthesumptuousimmensityofthesky,thesnowcoveredtheendlessforests,thefrozenrivers,theplainsofanimmensecountry,obliteratingthelandmarks,theaccidentsoftheground,levellingeverythingunderitsuniformwhiteness,likeamonstrousblankpageawaitingtherecordofaninconceivablehistory。ItcoveredthepassivelandwithitslivesofcountlesspeoplelikeZiemianitchanditshandfulofagitatorslikethisHaldin——murderingfoolishly。
Itwasasortofsacredinertia。Razumovfeltarespectforit。
Avoiceseemedtocrywithinhim,"Don’ttouchit。"Itwasaguaranteeofduration,ofsafety,whilethetravailofmaturingdestinywenton——aworknotofrevolutionswiththeirpassionatelevityofactionandtheirshiftingimpulses——butofpeace。Whatitneededwasnottheconflictingaspirationsofapeople,butawillstrongandone:itwantednotthebabbleofmanyvoices,butaman——strongandone!
Razumovstoodonthepointofconversion。Hewasfascinatedbyitsapproach,byitsoverpoweringlogic。Foratrainofthoughtisneverfalse。Thefalsehoodliesdeepinthenecessitiesofexistence,insecretfearsandhalf—formedambitions,inthesecretconfidencecombinedwithasecretmistrustofourselves,intheloveofhopeandthedreadofuncertaindays。
InRussia,thelandofspectralideasanddisembodiedaspirations,manybravemindshaveturnedawayatlastfromthevainandendlessconflicttotheonegreathistoricalfactoftheland。Theyturnedtoautocracyforthepeaceoftheirpatrioticconscienceasawearyunbeliever,touchedbygrace,turnstothefaithofhisfathersfortheblessingofspiritualrest。LikeotherRussiansbeforehim,Razumov,inconflictwithhimself,feltthetouchofgraceuponhisforehead。
"Haldinmeansdisruption,"hethoughttohimself,beginningtowalkagain。"Whatishewithhisindignation,withhistalkofbondage——withhistalkofGod’sjustice?Allthatmeansdisruption。Betterthatthousandsshouldsufferthanthatapeopleshouldbecomeadisintegratedmass,helplesslikedustinthewind。Obscurantismisbetterthanthelightofincendiarytorches。Theseedgerminatesinthenight。Outofthedarksoilspringstheperfectplant。Butavolcaniceruptionissterile,theruinofthefertileground。AndamI,wholovemycountry——whohavenothingbutthattoloveandputmyfaithin——amItohavemyfuture,perhapsmyusefulness,ruinedbythissanguinaryfanatic?"
ThegraceenteredintoRazumov。Hebelievednowinthemanwhowouldcomeattheappointedtime。
Whatisathrone?Afewpiecesofwoodupholsteredinvelvet。
Butathroneisaseatofpowertoo。Theformofgovernmentistheshapeofatool——aninstrument。Buttwentythousandbladdersinflatedbythenoblestsentimentsandjostlingagainsteachotherintheairareamiserableincumbranceofspace,holdingnopower,possessingnowill,havingnothingtogive。
Hewentonthus,heedlessoftheway,holdingadiscoursewithhimselfwithextraordinaryabundanceandfacility。Generallyhisphrasescametohimslowly,afteraconsciousandpainstakingwooing。Somesuperiorpowerhadinspiredhimwithaflowofmasterlyargumentascertainconvertedsinnersbecomeoverwhelminglyloquacious。
Hefeltanaustereexultation。
"Whataretheluridlysmokylucubrationsofthatfellowtothecleargraspofmyintellect?"hethought。"Isnotthismycountry?HaveInotgotfortymillionbrothers?"heaskedhimself,unanswerablyvictoriousinthesilenceofhisbreast。
AndthefearfulthrashinghehadgiventheinanimateZiemianitchseemedtohimasignofintimateunion,apatheticallyseverenecessityofbrotherlylove。"No!IfImustsufferletmeatleastsufferformyconvictions,notforacrimemyreason——mycoolsuperiorreason——rejects。"
Heceasedtothinkforamoment。Thesilenceinhisbreastwascomplete。Buthefeltasuspiciousuneasiness,suchaswemayexperiencewhenweenteranunlightedstrangeplace——theirrationalfeelingthatsomethingmayjumpuponusinthedark——theabsurddreadoftheunseen。
Ofcoursehewasfarfrombeingamoss—grownreactionary。
Everythingwasnotforthebest。Despoticbureaucracy……
abuses……corruption……andsoon。Capablemenwerewanted。
Enlightenedintelligences。Devotedhearts。Butabsolutepowershouldbepreserved——thetoolreadyfortheman——forthegreatautocratofthefuture。Razumovbelievedinhim。Thelogicofhistorymadehimunavoidable。Thestateofthepeopledemandedhim,"Whatelse?"heaskedhimselfardently,"couldmoveallthatmassinonedirection?Nothingcould。Nothingbutasinglewill。"
Hewaspersuadedthathewassacrificinghispersonallongingsofliberalism——rejectingtheattractiveerrorforthesternRussiantruth。"That’spatriotism,"heobservedmentally,andadded,"There’snostoppingmidwayonthatroad,"andthenremarkedtohimself,"Iamnotacoward。"
AndagaintherewasadeadsilenceinRazumov’sbreast。Hewalkedwithloweredhead,makingroomfornoone。Hewalkedslowlyandhisthoughtsreturningspokewithinhimwithsolemnslowness。
"WhatisthisHaldin?AndwhatamI?Onlytwograinsofsand。
Butagreatmountainismadeupofjustsuchinsignificantgrains。Andthedeathofamanorofmanymenisaninsignificantthing。Yetwecombatacontagiouspestilence。
DoIwanthisdeath?No!IwouldsavehimifIcould——butnoonecandothat——heisthewitheredmemberwhichmustbecutoff。
IfImustperishthroughhim,letmeatleastnotperishwithhim,andassociatedagainstmywillwithhissombrefollythatunderstandsnothingeitherofmenorthings。WhyshouldIleaveafalsememory?"
Itpassedthroughhismindthattherewasnooneintheworldwhocaredwhatsortofmemoryheleftbehindhim。Heexclaimedtohimselfinstantly,"Perishvainlyforafalsehood!……Whatamiserablefate!"
Hewasnowinamoreanimatedpartofthetown。Hedidnotremarkthecrashoftwocollidingsledgesclosetothecurb。
Thedriverofonebellowedtearfullyathisfellow——
"Oh,thouvilewretch!"
Thishoarseyell,letoutnearlyinhisear,disturbedRazumov。
Heshookhisheadimpatientlyandwentonlookingstraightbeforehim。Suddenlyonthesnow,stretchedonhisbackrightacrosshispath,hesawHaldin,solid,distinct,real,withhisinvertedhandsoverhiseyes,cladinabrownclose—fittingcoatandlongboots。Hewaslyingoutofthewayalittle,asthoughhehadselectedthatplaceonpurpose。Thesnowroundhimwasuntrodden。
ThishallucinationhadsuchasolidityofaspectthatthefirstmovementofRazumovwastoreachforhispockettoassurehimselfthatthekeyofhisroomswasthere。Buthecheckedtheimpulsewithadisdainfulcurveofhislips。Heunderstood。Histhought,concentratedintenselyonthefigureleftlyingonhisbed,hadculminatedinthisextraordinaryillusionofthesight。
Razumovtackledthephenomenoncalmly。Withasternface,withoutacheckandgazingfarbeyondthevision,hewalkedon,experiencingnothingbutaslighttighteningofthechest。
Afterpassingheturnedhisheadforaglance,andsawonlytheunbrokentrackofhisfootstepsovertheplacewherethebreastofthephantomhadbeenlying。
Razumovwalkedonandafteralittletimewhisperedhiswondertohimself。
"Exactlyasifalive!Seemedtobreathe!Andrightinmywaytoo!
Ihavehadanextraordinaryexperience。"
Hemadeafewstepsandmutteredthroughhissetteeth——
"Ishallgivehimup。"
Thenforsometwentyyardsormoreallwasblank。Hewrappedhiscloakcloserroundhim。Hepulledhiscapwellforwardoverhiseyes。
"Betray。Agreatword。Whatisbetrayal?Theytalkofamanbetrayinghiscountry,hisfriends,hissweetheart。Theremustbeamoralbondfirst。Allamancanbetrayishisconscience。
Andhowismyconscienceengagedhere;bywhatbondofcommonfaith,ofcommonconviction,amIobligedtoletthatfanaticalidiotdragmedownwithhim?Onthecontrary——everyobligationoftruecourageistheotherway。"
Razumovlookedroundfromunderhiscap。
"Whatcantheprejudiceoftheworldreproachmewith?HaveI
provokedhisconfidence?No!HaveIbyasingleword,look,orgesturegivenhimreasontosupposethatIacceptedhistrustinme?No!ItistruethatIconsentedtogoandseehisZiemianitch。Well,Ihavebeentoseehim。AndIbrokeastickonhisbacktoo——thebrute。"
Somethingseemedtoturnoverinhisheadbringinguppermostasingularlyhard,clearfacetofhisbrain。
"Itwouldbebetter,however,"hereflectedwithaquitedifferentmentalaccent,"tokeepthatcircumstancealtogethertomyself。"
Hehadpassedbeyondtheturnleadingtohislodgings,andhadreachedawideandfashionablestreet。Someshopswerestillopen,andalltherestaurants。Lightsfellonthepavementwheremeninexpensivefurcoats,withhereandtheretheelegantfigureofawoman,walkedwithanairofleisure。Razumovlookedatthemwiththecontemptofanausterebelieverforthefrivolouscrowd。Itwastheworld——thoseofficers,dignitaries,menoffashion,officials,membersoftheYachtClub。Theeventofthemorningaffectedthemall。Whatwouldtheysayiftheyknewwhatthisstudentinacloakwasgoingtodo?
"NotoneofthemiscapableoffeelingandthinkingasdeeplyasIcan。Howmanyofthemcouldaccomplishanactofconscience?"
Razumovlingeredinthewell—lightedstreet。Hewasfirmlydecided。Indeed,itcouldhardlybecalledadecision。Hehadsimplydiscoveredwhathehadmeanttodoallalong。Andyethefelttheneedofsomeothermind’ssanction。
Withsomethingresemblinganguishhesaidtohimself——
"Iwanttobeunderstood。"TheuniversalaspirationwithallitsprofoundandmelancholymeaningassailedheavilyRazumov,who,amongsteightymillionsofhiskithandkin,hadnohearttowhichhecouldopenhimself。
Theattorneywasnottobethoughtof。Hedespisedthelittleagentofchicanetoomuch。Onecouldnotgoandlayone’sconsciencebeforethepolicemanatthecorner。NeitherwasRazumovanxioustogotothechiefofhisdistrict’spolice——acommon—lookingpersonwhomheusedtoseesometimesinthestreetinashabbyuniformandwithasmoulderingcigarettestucktohislowerlip。"Hewouldbeginbylockingmeupmostprobably。Atanyrate,heiscertaintogetexcitedandcreateanawfulcommotion,"thoughtRazumovpracticallyAnactofconsciencemustbedonewithoutwarddignity。
Razumovlongeddesperatelyforawordofadvice,formoralsupport。Whoknowswhattruelonelinessis——nottheconventionalword,butthenakedterror?Tothelonelythemselvesitwearsamask。Themostmiserableoutcasthugssomememoryorsomeillusion。Nowandthenafatalconjunctionofeventsmaylifttheveilforaninstant。Foraninstantonly。
Nohumanbeingcouldbearasteadyviewofmoralsolitudewithoutgoingmad。
Razumovhadreachedthatpointofvision。Toescapefromitheembracedforawholeminutethedeliriouspurposeofrushingtohislodgingsandflinginghimselfonhiskneesbythesideofthebedwiththedarkfigurestretchedonit;topouroutafullconfessioninpassionatewordsthatwouldstirthewholebeingofthatmantoitsinnermostdepths;thatwouldendinembracesandtears;inanincrediblefellowshipofsouls——suchastheworldhadneverseen。Itwassublime!
Inwardlyheweptandtrembledalready。Buttothecasualeyesthatwerecastuponhimhewasawarethatheappearedasatranquilstudentinacloak,outforaleisurelystroll。
Henoted,too,thesidelong,brilliantglanceofaprettywoman——withadelicatehead,andcoveredinthehairyskinsofwildbeastsdowntoherfeet,likeafrailandbeautifulsavage——whichrestedforamomentwithasortofmockingtendernessonthedeepabstractionofthatgood—lookingyoungman。
SuddenlyRazumovstoodstill。Theglimpseofapassinggreywhisker,caughtandlostinthesameinstant,hadevokedthecompleteimageofPrinceK———,themanwhooncehadpressedhishandasnoothermanhadpressedit——afaintbutlingeringpressurelikeasecretsign,likeahalf—unwillingcaress。
AndRazumovmarvelledathimself。Whydidhenotthinkofhimbefore!
"Asenator,adignitary,agreatpersonage,theveryman——He!"
AstrangesofteningemotioncameoverRazumov——madehiskneesshakealittle。Herepresseditwithanew—bornausterity。Allthatsentimentwasperniciousnonsense。Hecouldn’tbequickenough;andwhenhegotintoasledgeheshoutedtothedriver——
"TotheK———Palace。Geton——you!Fly!"Thestartledmoujik,beardeduptotheverywhitesofhiseyes,answeredobsequiously——
"Ihear,yourhighNobility。"
ItwasluckyforRazumovthatPrinceK———wasnotamanoftimidcharacter。OnthedayofMr。deP———’smurderanextremealarmanddespondencyprevailedinthehighofficialspheres。
PrinceK———,sittingsadlyaloneinhisstudy,wastoldbyhisalarmedservantsthatamysteriousyoungmanhadforcedhiswayintothehall,refusedtotellhisnameandthenatureofhisbusiness,andwouldnotmovefromtheretillhehadseenhisExcellencyinprivate。Insteadoflockinghimselfupandtelephoningforthepolice,asnineoutoftenhighpersonageswouldhavedonethatevening,thePrincegavewaytocuriosityandcamequietlytothedoorofhisstudy。
Inthehall,thefrontdoorstandingwideopen,herecognisedatonceRazumov,paleasdeath,hiseyesblazing,andsurroundedbyperplexedlackeys。
ThePrincewasvexedbeyondmeasure,andevenindignant。Buthishumaneinstinctsandasubtlesenseofself—respectcouldnotallowhimtoletthisyoungmanbethrownoutintothestreetbybasemenials。Heretreatedunseenintohisroom,andafteralittleranghisbell。Razumovheardinthehallanominouslyraisedharshvoicesayingsomewherefaraway——
"Showthegentlemaninhere。"
Razumovwalkedinwithoutatremor。Hefelthimselfinvulnerable——raisedfarabovetheshallownessofcommonjudgment。ThoughhesawthePrincelookingathimwithblackdispleasure,thelucidityofhismind,ofwhichhewasveryconscious,gavehimanextraordinaryassurance。Hewasnotaskedtositdown。
Halfanhourlatertheyappearedinthehalltogether。Thelackeysstoodup,andthePrince,movingwithdifficultyonhisgoutyfeet,washelpedintohisfurs。Thecarriagehadbeenorderedbefore。Whenthegreatdoubledoorwasflungopenwithacrash,Razumov,whohadbeenstandingsilentwithalostgazebutwitheveryfacultyintenselyonthealert,heardthePrince’svoice——
"Yourarm,youngman。"
Themobile,superficialmindoftheex—Guardsofficer,manofshowymissions,experiencedinnothingbuttheartsofgallantintrigueandworldlysuccess,hadbeenequallyimpressedbythemoreobviousdifficultiesofsuchasituationandbyRazumov’squietdignityinstatingthem。
Hehadsaid,"No。UponthewholeIcan’tcondemnthestepyouventuredtotakebycomingtomewithyourstory。Itisnotanaffairforpoliceunderstrappers。Thegreatestimportanceisattachedto……Setyourmindatrest。Ishallseeyouthroughthismostextraordinaryanddifficultsituation。"
ThenthePrincerosetoringthebell,andRazumov,makingashortbow,hadsaidwithdeference——
"Ihavetrustedmyinstinct。AyoungmanhavingnoclaimuponanybodyintheworldhasinanhouroftrialinvolvinghisdeepestpoliticalconvictionsturnedtoanillustriousRussian——that’sall。"
ThePrincehadexclaimedhastily——
"Youhavedonewell。"
Inthecarriage——itwasasmallbroughamonsleighrunners——
Razumovbrokethesilenceinavoicethattrembledslightly。
"Mygratitudesurpassesthegreatnessofmypresumption。"
Hegasped,feelingunexpectedlyinthedarkamomentarypressureonhisarm。
"Youhavedonewell,"repeatedthePrince。
WhenthecarriagestoppedthePrincemurmuredtoRazumov,whohadneverventuredasinglequestion——
"ThehouseofGeneralT———。"
Inthemiddleofthesnow—coveredroadwayblazedagreatbonfire。
SomeCossacks,thebridlesoftheirhorsesoverthearm,werewarmingthemselvesaround。Twosentriesstoodatthedoor,severalgendarmesloungedunderthegreatcarriagegateway,andonthefirst—floorlandingtwoorderliesroseandstoodatattention。RazumovwalkedatthePrince’selbow。
Asurprisingquantityofhot—houseplantsinpotscumberedtheflooroftheante—room。Servantscameforward。Ayoungmanincivilianclothesarrivedhurriedly,waswhisperedto,bowedlow,andexclaimingzealously,"Certainly——thisminute,"fledwithinsomewhere。ThePrincesignedtoRazumov。
Theypassedthroughasuiteofreception—roomsallbarelylitandoneofthempreparedfordancing。ThewifeoftheGeneralhadputoffherparty。Anatmosphereofconsternationpervadedtheplace。
ButtheGeneral’sownroom,withheavysombrehangings,twomassivedesks,anddeeparmchairs,hadallthelightsturnedon。Thefootmanshutthedoorbehindthemandtheywaited。
TherewasacoalfireinanEnglishgrate;Razumovhadneverbeforeseensuchafire;andthesilenceoftheroomwaslikethesilenceofthegrave;perfect,measureless,foreventheclockonthemantelpiecemadenosound。Fillingacorner,onablackpedestal,stoodaquarter—life—sizesmooth—limbedbronzeofanadolescentfigure,running。ThePrinceobservedinanundertone—
"Spontini’s。’FlightofYouth。’Exquisite。"
"Admirable,"assentedRazumovfaintly。
Theysaidnothingmoreafterthis,thePrincesilentwithhisgrandair,Razumovstaringatthestatue。Hewasworriedbyasensationresemblingthegnawingofhunger。
Hedidnotturnwhenheheardaninnerdoorflyopen,andaquickfootstep,muffledonthecarpet。
ThePrince’svoiceimmediatelyexclaimed,thickwithexcitement——
"Wehavegothim——_cemiserable。_Aworthyyoungmancametome——
No!It’sincredible……"
Razumovheldhisbreathbeforethebronzeasifexpectingacrash。Behindhisbackavoicehehadneverheardbeforeinsistedpolitely——
"_Asseyez—vousdonc_。"
ThePrincealmostshrieked,"_Maiscomprenez—vous,moncher!
L’assassin!_themurderer——wehavegothim……"
Razumovspunround。TheGeneral’ssmoothbigcheeksrestedonthestiffcollarofhisuniform。HemusthavebeenalreadylookingatRazumov,becausethatlastsawthepaleblueeyesfastenedonhimcoldly。
ThePrincefromachairwavedanimpressivehand。
"ThisisamosthonourableyoungmanwhomProvidenceitself……Mr。Razumov。"
TheGeneralacknowledgedtheintroductionbyfrowningatRazumov,whodidnotmaketheslightestmovement。
SittingdownbeforehisdesktheGenerallistenedwithcompressedlips。
Itwasimpossibletodetectanysignofemotiononhisface。
Razumovwatchedtheimmobilityofthefleshyprofile。Butitlastedonlyamoment,tillthePrincehadfinished;andwhentheGeneralturnedtotheprovidentialyoungman,hisfloridcomplexion,theblue,unbelievingeyesandthebrightwhiteflashofanautomaticsmilehadanairofjovial,carelesscruelty。Heexpressednowonderattheextraordinarystory——nopleasureorexcitement——noincredulityeither。Hebetrayednosentimentwhatever。Onlywithapolitenessalmostdeferentialsuggestedthat"thebirdmighthaveflownwhileMr。——Mr。Razumovwasrunningaboutthestreets。"
Razumovadvancedtothemiddleoftheroomandsaid,"ThedoorislockedandIhavethekeyinmypocket。"
Hisloathingforthemanwasintense。Ithadcomeuponhimsounawaresthathefelthehadnotkeptitoutofhisvoice。TheGenerallookedupathimthoughtfully,andRazumovgrinned。
AllthiswentovertheheadofPrinceK———seatedinadeeparmchair,verytiredandimpatient。
"AstudentcalledHaldin,"saidtheGeneralthoughtfully。
Razumovceasedtogrin。
"Thatishisname,"hesaidunnecessarilyloud。"VictorVictorovitchHaldin——astudent。"
TheGeneralshiftedhispositionalittle。
"Howishedressed?Wouldyouhavethegoodnesstotellme?"
RazumovangrilydescribedHaldin’sclothinginafewjerkywords。
TheGeneralstaredallthetime,thenaddressingthePrince——
"Wewerenotwithoutsomeindications,"hesaidinFrench。"A
goodwomanwhowasinthestreetdescribedtoussomebodywearingadressofthesortasthethrowerofthesecondbomb。WehavedetainedherattheSecretariat,andeveryoneinaTcherkesscoatwecouldlayourhandsonhasbeenbroughttohertolookat。Shekeptoncrossingherselfandshakingherheadatthem。
Itwasexasperating……"HeturnedtoRazumov,andinRussian,withfriendlyreproach——
"Takeachair,Mr。Razumov——do。Whyareyoustanding?"
RazumovsatdowncarelesslyandlookedattheGeneral。
"Thisgoggle—eyedimbecileunderstandsnothing,"hethought。
ThePrincebegantospeakloftily。
"Mr。Razumovisayoungmanofconspicuousabilities。Ihaveitatheartthathisfutureshouldnot……"
"Certainly,"interruptedtheGeneral,withamovementofthehand。"Hasheanyweaponsonhim,doyouthink,Mr。Razumov?"
TheGeneralemployedagentlemusicalvoice。Razumovansweredwithsuppressedirritation——
"No。Butmyrazorsarelyingabout——youunderstand。"
TheGeneralloweredhisheadapprovingly。
"Precisely。"
ThentothePrince,explainingcourteously——
"Wewantthatbirdalive。Itwillbethedevilifwecan’tmakehimsingalittlebeforewearedonewithhim。"
Thegrave—likesilenceoftheroomwithitsmuteclockfelluponthepolitemodulationsofthisterriblephrase。ThePrince,hiddeninthechair,madenosound。
TheGeneralunexpectedlydevelopedathought。
"Fidelitytomenacedinstitutionsonwhichdependthesafetyofathroneandofapeopleisnochild’splay。Weknowthat,_monPrince,_and——_tenez_——"hewentonwithasortofflatteringharshness,"Mr。Razumovherebeginstounderstandthattoo。"
HiseyeswhichheturneduponRazumovseemedtobestartingoutofhishead。ThisgrotesquenessofaspectnolongershockedRazumov。Hesaidwithgloomyconviction——
"Haldinwillneverspeak。"
"Thatremainstobeseen,"mutteredtheGeneral。
"Iamcertain,"insistedRazumov。"Amanlikethisneverspeaks……DoyouimaginethatIamherefromfear?"headdedviolently。HefeltreadytostandbyhisopinionofHaldintothelastextremity。
"Certainlynot,"protestedtheGeneral,withgreatsimplicityoftone。"AndIdon’tmindtellingyou,Mr。Razumov,thatifhehadnotcomewithhistaletosuchastaunchandloyalRussianasyou,hewouldhavedisappearedlikeastoneinthewater……
whichwouldhavehadadetestableeffect,"headded,withabright,cruelsmileunderhisstonystare。"Soyousee,therecanbenosuspicionofanyfearhere。"
ThePrinceintervened,lookingatRazumovroundthebackofthearmchair。
"Nobodydoubtsthemoralsoundnessofyouraction。Beateaseinthatrespect,pray。"
HeturnedtotheGeneraluneasily。
"That’swhyIamhere。YoumaybesurprisedwhyIshould……"
TheGeneralhastenedtointerrupt。
"Notatall。Extremelynatural。Yousawtheimportance……
"Yes,"brokeinthePrince。"AndIventuretoaskinsistentlythatmineandMr。Razumov’sinterventionshouldnotbecomepublic。Heisayoungmanofpromise——ofremarkableaptitudes。"
"Ihaven’tadoubtofit,"murmuredtheGeneral。"Heinspiresconfidence。"
"Allsortsofperniciousviewsaresowidespreadnowadays——theytaintsuchunexpectedquarters——that,monstrousasitseems,hemightsuffer……Hisstudies……His……"
TheGeneral,withhiselbowsonthedesk,tookhisheadbetweenhishands。
"Yes。Yes。Iamthinkingitout……Howlongisitsinceyoulefthimatyourrooms,Mr。Razumov?"
Razumovmentionedthehourwhichnearlycorrespondedwiththetimeofhisdistractedflightfromthebigslumhouse。HehadmadeuphismindtokeepZiemianitchoutoftheaffaircompletely。Tomentionhimatallwouldmeanimprisonmentforthe"brightsoul,"perhapscruelfloggings,andintheendajourneytoSiberiainchains。Razumov,whohadbeatenZiemianitch,feltforhimnowavague,remorsefultenderness。
TheGeneral,givingwayforthefirsttimetohissecretsentiments,exclaimedcontemptuously——
"Andyousayhecameintomakeyouthisconfidencelikethis——fornothing——_aproposdesbottes_。"
Razumovfeltdangerintheair。Themercilesssuspicionofdespotismhadspokenopenlyatlast。SuddenfearsealedRazumov’slips。Thesilenceoftheroomresemblednowthesilenceofadeepdungeon,wheretimedoesnotcount,andasuspectpersonissometimesforgottenforever。ButthePrincecametotherescue。
"ProvidenceitselfhasledthewretchinamomentofmentalaberrationtoseekMr。Razumovonthestrengthofsomeold,utterlymisinterpretedexchangeofideas——somesortofidlespeculativeconversation——monthsago——Iamtold——andcompletelyforgottentillnowbyMr。Razumov。"
"Mr。Razumov,"queriedtheGeneralmeditatively,afterashortsilence,"doyouoftenindulgeinspeculativeconversation?"
"No,Excellency,"answeredRazumov,coolly,inasuddenaccessofself—confidence。"Iamamanofdeepconvictions。Crudeopinionsareintheair。Theyarenotalwaysworthcombating。
Buteventhesilentcontemptofaseriousmindmaybemisinterpretedbyheadlongutopists。"
TheGeneralstaredfrombetweenhishands。PrinceK———
murmured——
"Aseriousyoungman。_Unespritsuperieur_。"
"Iseethat,_moncherPrince_,"saidtheGeneral。"Mr。Razumovisquitesafewithme。Iaminterestedinhim。Hehas,itseems,thegreatandusefulqualityofinspiringconfidence。
WhatIwaswonderingatiswhytheothershouldmentionanythingatall——Imeaneventhebarefactalone——ifhisobjectwasonlytoobtaintemporaryshelterforafewhours。For,afterall,nothingwaseasierthantosaynothingaboutitunless,indeed,heweretrying,underacrazymisapprehensionofyourtruesentiments,toenlistyourassistance——eh,Mr。Razumov?"
ItseemedtoRazumovthatthefloorwasmovingslightly。
Thisgrotesquemaninatightuniformwasterrible。Itwasrightthatheshouldbeterrible。
"IcanseewhatyourExcellencyhasinyourmind。ButIcanonlyanswerthatIdon’tknowwhy。"
"Ihavenothinginmymind,"murmuredtheGeneral,withgentlesurprise。
"Iamhisprey——hishelplessprey,"thoughtRazumov。Thefatiguesandthedisgustsofthatafternoon,theneedtoforget,thefearwhichhecouldnotkeepoff,reawakenedhishateforHaldin。
"ThenIcan’thelpyourExcellency。Idon’tknowwhathemeant。
IonlyknowtherewasamomentwhenIwishedtokillhim。TherewasalsoamomentwhenIwishedmyselfdead。Isaidnothing。I
wasovercome。Iprovokednoconfidence——Iaskedfornoexplanations——"
Razumovseemedbesidehimself;buthismindwaslucid。Itwasreallyacalculatedoutburst。
"Itisratherapity,"theGeneralsaid,"thatyoudidnot。
Don’tyouknowatallwhathemeanstodo?"Razumovcalmeddownandsawanopeningthere。
"Hetoldmehewasinhopesthatasledgewouldmeethimabouthalfanhouraftermidnightattheseventhlamp—postontheleftfromtheupperendofKarabelnaya。Atanyrate,hemeanttobethereatthattime。Hedidnotevenaskmeforachangeofclothes。"
"_Ahvoila_!"saidtheGeneral,turningtoPrinceKwithanairofsatisfaction。"Thereisawaytokeepyour_protege_,Mr。
Razumov,quiteclearofanyconnexionwiththeactualarrest。WeshallbereadyforthatgentlemaninKarabelnaya。"
ThePrinceexpressedhisgratitude。Therewasrealemotioninhisvoice。Razumov,motionless,silent,satstaringatthecarpet。TheGeneralturnedtohim。
"Halfanhouraftermidnight。Tillthenwehavetodependonyou,Mr。Razumov。Youdon’tthinkheislikelytochangehispurpose?"
"HowcanItell?"saidRazumov。"Thosemenarenotofthesortthateverchangesitspurpose。"
"Whatmendoyoumean?"
"Fanaticalloversoflibertyingeneral。LibertywithacapitalL,Excellency。Libertythatmeansnothingprecise。Libertyinwhosenamecrimesarecommitted。"
TheGeneralmurmured——
"Idetestrebelsofeverykind。Ican’thelpit。It’smynature!"
Heclenchedafistandshookit,drawingbackhisarm。"Theyshallbedestroyed,then。"
"Theyhavemadeasacrificeoftheirlivesbeforehand,"saidRazumovwithmaliciouspleasureandlookingtheGeneralstraightintheface。"IfHaldindoeschangehispurposeto—night,youmaydependonitthatitwillnotbetosavehislifebyflightinsomeotherway。Hewouldhavethoughtthenofsomethingelsetoattempt。Butthatisnotlikely。"
TheGeneralrepeatedasiftohimself,"Theyshallbedestroyed。"
Razumovassumedanimpenetrableexpression。
ThePrinceexclaimed——
"Whataterriblenecessity!"
TheGeneral’sarmwasloweredslowly。
"Onecomfortthereis。Thatbroodleavesnoposterity。I’vealwayssaidit,oneeffort,pitiless,persistent,steady——andwearedonewiththemforever。"
Razumovthoughttohimselfthatthismanentrustedwithsomucharbitrarypowermusthavebelievedwhathesaidorelsehecouldnothavegoneonbearingtheresponsibility。
"Idetestrebels。Thesesubversiveminds!Theseintellectual_debauches_!Myexistencehasbeenbuiltonfidelity。It’safeeling。
TodefenditIamreadytolaydownmylife——andevenmyhonour——ifthatwereneeded。Butpraytellmewhathonourcantherebeasagainstrebels——againstpeoplethatdenyGodHimself——perfectunbelievers!
Brutes。Itishorribletothinkof。"
DuringthistiradeRazumov,facingtheGeneral,hadnoddedslightlytwice。PrinceK———,standingononesidewithhisgrandair,murmured,castinguphiseyes——
"_Helas!_"
Thenloweringhisglanceandwithgreatdecisiondeclared——
"Thisyoungman,General,isperfectlyfittoapprehendthebearingofyourmemorablewords。"
TheGeneral’swholeexpressionchangedfromdullresentmenttoperfecturbanity。
"Iwouldasknow,Mr。Razumov,"hesaid,"toreturntohishome。
NotethatIdon’taskMr。Razumovwhetherhehasjustifiedhisabsencetohisguest。Nodoubthedidthissufficiently。ButI
don’task。Mr。Razumovinspiresconfidence。Itisagreatgift。
Ionlysuggestthatamoreprolongedabsencemightawakenthecriminal’ssuspicionsandinducehimperhapstochangehisplans。"
Heroseandwithascrupulouscourtesyescortedhisvisitorstotheante—roomencumberedwithflower—pots。
RazumovpartedwiththePrinceatthecornerofastreet。Inthecarriagehehadlistenedtospeecheswherenaturalsentimentstruggledwithcaution。EvidentlythePrincewasafraidofencouraginganyhopesoffutureintercourse。Buttherewasatouchoftendernessinthevoiceutteringinthedarktheguardedgeneralphrasesofgoodwill。AndthePrincetoosaid——
"Ihaveperfectconfidenceinyou,Mr。Razumov。"
"Theyall,itseems,haveconfidenceinme,"thoughtRazumovdully。Hehadanindulgentcontemptforthemansittingshouldertoshoulderwithhimintheconfinedspace。Probablyhewasafraidofsceneswithhiswife。Shewassaidtobeproudandviolent。
Itseemedtohimbizarrethatsecrecyshouldplaysuchalargepartinthecomfortandsafetyoflives。ButhewantedtoputthePrince’smindatease;andwithaproperamountofemphasishesaidthat,beingconsciousofsomesmallabilitiesandconfidentinhispowerofwork,hetrustedhisfuturetohisownexertions。Heexpressedhisgratitudeforthehelpinghand。
Suchdangeroussituationsdidnotoccurtwiceinthecourseofonelife——headded。
"Andyouhavemetthisonewithafirmnessofmindandcorrectnessoffeelingwhichgivemeahighideaofyourworth,"
thePrincesaidsolemnly。"Youhavenowonlytopersevere——topersevere。"
OngettingoutonthepavementRazumovsawanunglovedhandextendedtohimthroughtheloweredwindowofthebrougham。Itdetainedhisowninitsgraspforamoment,whilethelightofastreetlampfelluponthePrince’slongfaceandold—fashionedgreywhiskers。
"Ihopeyouareperfectlyreassurednowastotheconsequences……"
"AfterwhatyourExcellencyhascondescendedtodoforme,Icanonlyrelyonmyconscience。"
"_Adieu_,"saidthewhiskeredheadwithfeeling。
Razumovbowed。Thebroughamglidedawaywithaslightswishinthesnow——hewasaloneontheedgeofthepavement。
Hesaidtohimselfthattherewasnothingtothinkabout,andbeganwalkingtowardshishome。
Hewalkedquietly。Itwasacommonexperiencetowalkthushometobedafteraneveningspentsomewherewithhisfellowsorinthecheaperseatsofatheatre。Afterhehadgonealittlewaythefamiliarityofthingsgotholdofhim。Nothingwaschanged。Therewasthefamiliarcorner;andwhenheturnedithesawthefamiliardimlightoftheprovisionshopkeptbyaGermanwoman。Therewereloavesofstalebread,bunchesofonionsandstringsofsausagesbehindthesmallwindow—panes。Theywereclosingit。Thesicklylamefellowwhomheknewsowellbysightstaggeredoutintothesnowembracingalargeshutter。
Nothingwouldchange。Therewasthefamiliargatewayyawningblackwithfeebleglimmersmarkingthearchesofthedifferentstaircases。
Thesenseoflife’scontinuitydependedontriflingbodilyimpressions。Thetrivialitiesofdailyexistencewereanarmourforthesoul。AndthisthoughtreinforcedtheinwardquietnessofRazumovashebegantoclimbthestairsfamiliartohisfeetinthedark,withhishandonthefamiliarclammybanister。Theexceptionalcouldnotprevailagainstthematerialcontactswhichmakeonedayresembleanother。To—morrowwouldbelikeyesterday。
Itwasonlyonthestagethattheunusualwasoutwardlyacknowledged。
"Isuppose,"thoughtRazumov,"thatifIhadmadeupmymindtoblowoutmybrainsonthelandingIwouldbegoingupthesestairsasquietlyasIamdoingitnow。What’samantodo?
Whatmustbemustbe。Extraordinarythingsdohappen。Butwhentheyhavehappenedtheyaredonewith。Thus,too,whenthemindismadeup。Thatquestionisdonewith。Andthedailyconcerns,thefamiliaritiesofourthoughtswallowitup——andthelifegoesonasbeforewithitsmysteriousandsecretsidesquiteoutofsight,astheyshouldbe。Lifeisapublicthing。"
Razumovunlockedhisdoorandtookthekeyout;enteredveryquietlyandboltedthedoorbehindhimcarefully。
Hethought,"Hehearsme,"andafterboltingthedoorhestoodstillholdinghisbreath。Therewasnotasound。Hecrossedthebareouterroom,steppingdeliberatelyinthedarkness。Enteringtheother,hefeltalloverhistableforthematchbox。Thesilence,butforthegropingofhishand,wasprofound。Couldthefellowbesleepingsosoundly?
Hestruckalightandlookedatthebed。Haldinwaslyingonhisbackasbefore,onlybothhishandswereunderhishead。
Hiseyeswereopen。Hestaredattheceiling。
Razumovheldthematchup。Hesawtheclear—cutfeatures,thefirmchin,thewhiteforeheadandthetopknotoffairhairagainstthewhitepillow。Therehewas,lyingflatonhisback。
Razumovthoughtsuddenly,"Ihavewalkedoverhischest。"
Hecontinuedtostaretillthematchburntitselfout;thenstruckanotherandlitthelampinsilencewithoutlookingtowardsthebedanymore。HehadturnedhisbackonitandwashanginghiscoatonapegwhenheheardHaldinsighprofoundly,thenaskinatiredvoice——
"Well!Andwhathaveyouarranged?"
TheemotionwassogreatthatRazumovwasgladtoputhishandsagainstthewall。Adiabolicalimpulsetosay,"Ihavegivenyouuptothepolice,"frightenedhimexceedingly。Buthedidnotsaythat。Hesaid,withoutturninground,inamuffledvoice——
"It’sdone。"
AgainheheardHaldinsigh。Hewalkedtothetable,satdownwiththelampbeforehim,andonlythenlookedtowardsthebed。
Inthedistantcornerofthelargeroomfarawayfromthelamp,whichwassmallandprovidedwithaverythickchinashade,Haldinappearedlikeadarkandelongatedshape——rigidwiththeimmobilityofdeath。ThisbodyseemedtohavelesssubstancethanitsownphantomwalkedoverbyRazumovinthestreetwhitewithsnow。Itwasmorealarminginitsshadowy,persistentrealitythanthedistinctbutvanishingillusion。
Haldinwasheardagain。
"Youmusthavehadawalk——suchawalk……"hemurmureddeprecatingly。"Thisweather……"
Razumovansweredwithenergy——
"Horriblewalk……Anightmareofawalk。"
Heshudderedaudibly。Haldinsighedoncemore,then——
"AndsoyouhaveseenZiemianitch——brother?"
"I’veseenhim。"
Razumov,rememberingthetimehehadspentwiththePrince,thoughtitprudenttoadd,"Ihadtowaitsometime。"
"Acharacter——eh?It’sextraordinarywhatasenseofthenecessityoffreedomthereisinthatman。Andhehassayingstoo——simple,tothepoint,suchasonlythepeoplecaninventintheirroughsagacity。Acharacterthat……"
"I,youunderstand,haven’thadmuchopportunity……"Razumovmutteredthroughhisteeth。
Haldincontinuedtostareattheceiling。
"Yousee,brother,Ihavebeenagooddealinthathouseoflate。Iusedtotaketherebooks——leaflets。Notafewofthepoorpeoplewholivetherecanread。And,yousee,theguestsforthefeastoffreedommustbesoughtforinbywaysandhedges。
Thetruthis,Ihavealmostlivedinthathouseoflate。Isleptsometimesinthestable。Thereisastable……"
"That’swhereIhadmyinterviewwithZiemianitch,"interruptedRazumovgently。Amockingspiritenteredintohimandheadded,"Itwassatisfactoryinasense。Icameawayfromitmuchrelieved。"
"Ah!he’safellow,"wentonHaldin,talkingslowlyattheceiling。"Icametoknowhiminthatway,yousee。Forsomeweeksnow,eversinceIresignedmyselftodowhathadtobedone,Itriedtoisolatemyself。Igaveupmyrooms。Whatwasthegoodofexposingadecentwidowwomantotheriskofbeingworriedoutofhermindbythepolice?Igaveupseeinganyofourcomrades……"
Razumovdrewtohimselfahalf—sheetofpaperandbegantotracelinesonitwithapencil。
"Uponmyword,"hethoughtangrily,"heseemstohavethoughtofeverybody’ssafetybutmine。"
Haldinwastalkingon。
"Thismorning——ah!thismorning——thatwasdifferent。HowcanI
explaintoyou?BeforethedeedwasdoneIwanderedatnightandlayhidintheday,thinkingitout,andIfeltrestful。
Sleeplessbutrestful。Whatwasthereformetotormentmyselfabout?Butthismorning——after!ThenitwasthatIbecamerestless。Icouldnothavestoppedinthatbighousefullofmisery。Themiserableofthisworldcan’tgiveyoupeace。
Thenwhenthatsillycaretakerbegantoshout,Isaidtomyself,’Thereisayoungmaninthistownheadandshouldersabovecommonprejudices。’"
"Ishelaughingatmei?"。Razumovaskedhimself,goingonwithhisaimlessdrawingoftrianglesandsquares。Andsuddenlyhethought:"Mybehaviourmustappeartohimstrange。ShouldhetakefrightatmymannerandrushoffsomewhereIshallbeundonecompletely。ThatinfernalGeneral……"
Hedroppedthepencilandturnedabruptlytowardsthebedwiththeshadowyfigureextendedfulllengthonit——somuchmoreindistinctthantheoneoverwhosebreasthehadwalkedwithoutfaltering。Wasthis,too,aphantom?
Thesilencehadlastedalongtime。"Heisnolongerhere,"wasthethoughtagainstwhichRazumovstruggleddesperately,quitefrightenedatitsabsurdity。"Heisalreadygoneandthis……
only……"
Hecouldresistnolonger。Hesprangtohisfeet,sayingaloud,"Iamintolerablyanxious,"andinafewheadlongstridesstoodbythesideofthebed。HishandfelllightlyonHaldin’sshoulder,anddirectlyhefeltitsrealityhewasbesetbyaninsanetemptationtogripthatexposedthroatandsqueezethebreathoutofthatbody,lestitshouldescapehiscustody,leavingonlyaphantombehind。
Haldindidnotstiralimb,buthisovershadowedeyesmovingalittlegazedupwardsatRazumovwithwistfulgratitudeforthismanifestationoffeeling。
Razumovturnedawayandstrodeupanddowntheroom。"Itwouldhavebeenpossiblyakindness,"hemutteredtohimself,andwasappalledbythenatureofthatapologyforamurderousintentionhismindhadfoundsomewherewithinhim。Andallthesamehecouldnotgiveitup。Hebecamelucidaboutit。"Whatcanheexpecti?"hethought。"Thehalter——intheend。AndI……"
ThisargumentwasinterruptedbyHaldin’svoice。
"Whybeanxiousforme?Theycankillmybody,buttheycannotexilemysoulfromthisworld。Itellyouwhat——IbelieveinthisworldsomuchthatIcannotconceiveeternityotherwisethanasaverylonglife。ThatisperhapsthereasonIamsoreadytodie。"
"H’m,"mutteredRazumov,andbitinghislowerliphecontinuedtowalkupanddownandtocarryonhisstrangeargument。
Yes,toamaninsuchasituation——ofcourseitwouldbeanactofkindness。Thequestion,however,wasnothowtobekind,buthowtobefirm。Hewasaslipperycustomer"Itoo,VictorVictorovitch,believeinthisworldofours,"hesaidwithforce。"Itoo,whileIlive……Butyouseemdeterminedtohauntit。Youcan’tseriously……mean"
ThevoiceofthemotionlessHaldinbegan——
"Hauntit!Truly,theoppressorsofthoughtwhichquickenstheworld,thedestroyersofsoulswhichaspiretoperfectionofhumandignity,theyshallbehaunted。Astothedestroyersofmymerebody,Ihaveforgiventhembeforehand。"
Razumovhadstoppedapparentlytolisten,butatthesametimehewasobservinghisownsensations。HewasvexedwithhimselfforattachingsomuchimportancetowhatHaldinsaid。
"Thefellow’smad,"hethoughtfirmly,butthisopiniondidnotmollifyhimtowardsHaldin。Itwasaparticularlyimpudentformoflunacy——andwhenitgotlooseinthesphereofpubliclifeofacountry,itwasobviouslythedutyofeverygoodcitizen……
ThistrainofthoughtbrokeoffshortthereandwassucceededbyaparoxysmofsilenthatredtowardsHaldin,sointensethatRazumovhastenedtospeakatrandom。
"Yes。Eternity,ofcourse。I,too,can’tverywellrepresentittomyself……Iimagineit,however,assomethingquietanddull。
Therewouldbenothingunexpected——don’tyousee?Theelementoftimewouldbewanting。"
Hepulledouthiswatchandgazedatit。Haldinturnedoveronhissideandlookedonintently。
Razumovgotfrightenedatthismovement。Aslipperycustomerthisfellowwithaphantom。Itwasnotmidnightyet。Hehastenedon——
"Andunfathomablemysteries!CanyouconceivesecretplacesinEternity?Impossible。Whereaslifeisfullofthem。Therearesecretsofbirth,forinstance。Onecarriesthemontothegrave。Thereissomethingcomical……butnevermind。Andtherearesecretmotivesofconduct。Aman’smostopenactionshaveasecretsidetothem。Thatisinterestingandsounfathomable!
Forinstance,amangoesoutofaroomforawalk。Nothingmoretrivialinappearance。Andyetitmaybemomentous。Hecomesback——hehasseenperhapsadrunkenbrute,takenparticularnoticeofthesnowontheground——andbeholdheisnolongerthesameman。Themostunlikelythingshaveasecretpoweroverone’sthoughts——thegreywhiskersofaparticularperson——thegoggleeyesofanother。"
Razumov’sforeheadwasmoist。Hetookaturnortwointheroom,hisheadlowandsmilingtohimselfviciously。
"Haveyoueverreflectedonthepowerofgoggleeyesandgreywhiskers?Excuseme。YouseemtothinkImustbecrazytotalkinthisveinatsuchatime。ButIamnottalkinglightly。I
haveseeninstances。Ithashappenedtomeoncetobetalkingtoamanwhosefatewasaffectedbyphysicalfactsofthatkind。
Andthemandidnotknowit。Ofcourse,itwasacaseofconscience,butthematerialfactssuchasthesebroughtaboutthesolution……Andyoutellme,VictorVictorovitch,nottobeanxious!Why!Iamresponsibleforyou,"
Razumovalmostshrieked。
HeavoidedwithdifficultyaburstofMephistophelianlaughter。
Haldin,verypale,raisedhimselfonhiselbow。
"Andthesurprisesoflife,"wentonRazumov,afterglancingattheotheruneasily。"Justconsidertheirastonishingnature。A
mysteriousimpulseinducesyoutocomehere。Idon’tsayyouhavedonewrong。Indeed,fromacertainpointofviewyoucouldnothavedonebetter。Youmighthavegonetoamanwithaffectionsandfamilyties。Youhavesuchtiesyourself。Astome,youknowIhavebeenbroughtupinaneducationalinstitutewheretheydidnotgiveusenoughtoeat。Totalkofaffectioninsuchaconnexion——youperceiveyourself……Astoties,theonlytiesIhaveintheworldaresocial。ImustgetacknowledgedinsomewaybeforeIcanactatall。Isithereworking……Anddon’tyouthinkIamworkingforprogresstoo?
I’vegottofindmyownideasofthetrueway……Pardonme,"
continuedRazumov,afterdrawingbreathandwithashort,throatylaugh,"butIhaven’tinheritedarevolutionaryinspirationtogetherwitharesemblancefromanuncle。"
Helookedagainathiswatchandnoticedwithsickeningdisgustthattherewereyetagoodmanyminutestomidnight。Hetorewatchandchainoffhiswaistcoatandlaidthemonthetablewellinthecircleofbrightlamplight。Haldin,recliningonhiselbow,didnotstir。Razumovwasmadeuneasybythisattitude。
"Whatmoveishemeditatingoversoquietly?"hethought。"Hemustbeprevented。Imustkeepontalkingtohim。"
Heraisedhisvoice。
"Youareason,abrother,anephew,acousin——Idon’tknowwhat——tonoendofpeople。Iamjustaman。HereIstandbeforeyou。Amanwithamind。Diditeveroccurtoyouhowamanwhohadneverheardawordofwarmaffectionorpraiseinhislifewouldthinkonmattersonwhichyouwouldthinkfirstwithoragainstyourclass,yourdomestictradition——yourfiresideprejudices?……Didyoueverconsiderhowamanlikethatwouldfeel?Ihavenodomestictradition。Ihavenothingtothinkagainst。Mytraditionishistorical。WhathaveItolookbacktobutthatnationalpastfromwhichyougentlemenwanttowrenchawayyourfuture?AmItoletmyintelligence,myaspirationstowardsabetterlot,berobbedoftheonlythingithastogouponatthewillofviolententhusiasts?Youcomefromyourprovince,butallthislandismine——orIhavenothing。Nodoubtyoushallbelookeduponasamartyrsomeday——asortofhero——apoliticalsaint。ButIbegtobeexcused。I
amcontentinfittingmyselftobeaworker。Andwhatcanyoupeopledobyscatteringafewdropsofbloodonthesnow?OnthisImmensity。OnthisunhappyImmensity!Itellyou,"hecried,inavibrating,subduedvoice,andadvancingonestepnearerthebed,"thatwhatitneedsisnotalotofhauntingphantomsthatIcouldwalkthrough——butaman!"
Haldinthrewhisarmsforwardasiftokeephimoffinhorror。
"Iunderstanditallnow,"heexclaimed,withawestruckdismay。
"Iunderstand——atlast。"
Razumovstaggeredbackagainstthetable。Hisforeheadbrokeoutinperspirationwhileacoldshudderrandownhisspine。
"WhathaveIbeensaying?"heaskedhimself。"HaveIlethimslipthroughmyfingersafterall?
"Hefelthislipsgostifflikebuckram,andinsteadofareassuringsmileonlyachievedanuncertaingrimace。
"Whatwillyouhave?"hebeganinaconciliatingvoicewhichgotsteadyafterthefirsttremblingwordortwo。"Whatwillyouhave?
Consider——amanofstudious,retiredhabits——andsuddenlylikethis……
Iamnotpractisedintalkingdelicately。But……
"Hefeltanger,awickedanger,getholdofhimagain。
"Whatwerewetodotogethertillmidnight?Sithereoppositeeachotherandthinkofyour——your—shambles?"
Haldinhadasubdued,heartbrokenattitude。Hebowedhishead;
hishandshungbetweenhisknees。Hisvoicewaslowandpainedbutcalm。
"Iseenowhowitis,Razumov——brother。Youareamagnanimoussoul,butmyactionisabhorrenttoyou——alas……"
Razumovstared。Fromfrighthehadsethisteethsohardthathiswholefaceached。Itwasimpossibleforhimtomakeasound。
"Andevenmyperson,too,isloathsometoyouperhaps,"Haldinaddedmournfully,afterashortpause,lookingupforamoment,thenfixinghisgazeonthefloor。"Forindeed,unlessone……"
Hebrokeoffevidentlywaitingforaword。Razumovremainedsilent。Haldinnoddedhisheaddejectedlytwice。
"Ofcourse。Ofcourse,"hemurmured……"Ah!wearywork!"
Heremainedperfectlystillforamoment,thenmadeRazumov’sleadenheartstrikeaponderousblowbyspringingupbriskly。
"Sobeit,"hecriedsadlyinalow,distincttone。"Farewellthen。"
Razumovstartedforward,butthesightofHaldin’sraisedhandcheckedhimbeforehecouldgetawayfromthetable。Heleanedonitheavily,listeningtothefaintsoundsofsometownclocktollingthehour。Haldin,alreadyatthedoor,tallandstraightasanarrow,withhispalefaceandahandraisedattentively,mighthaveposedforthestatueofadaringyouthlisteningtoaninnervoice。Razumovmechanicallyglanceddownathiswatch。WhenhelookedtowardsthedooragainHaldinhadvanished。Therewasafaintrustlingintheouterroom,thefeebleclickofaboltdrawnbacklightly。Hewasgone——almostasnoiselessasavision。