IhavearoistingchallengesentamongstThedunandfactiousnoblesoftheGreeksWillstrikeamazementtotheirdrowsyspirits:
Iwasadvertisedtheirgreatgeneralslept,Whilstemulationinthearmycrept:
This,Ipresume,willwakehim。
ExeuntSCENEIII。TheGreciancamp。BeforeAchilles’tent。EnterTHERSITES,solusTHERSITESHownow,Thersites!whatlostinthelabyrinthofthyfury!ShalltheelephantAjaxcarryitthus?
Hebeatsme,andIrailathim:O,worthysatisfaction!
woulditwereotherwise;thatIcouldbeathim,whilstherailedatme。’Sfoot,I’lllearntoconjureandraisedevils,butI’llseesomeissueofmyspitefulexecrations。Thenthere’sAchilles,arareenginer!IfTroybenottakentillthesetwoundermineit,thewallswillstandtilltheyfallofthemselves。Othougreatthunder—darterofOlympus,forgetthatthouartJove,thekingofgodsand,Mercury,losealltheserpentinecraftofthycaduceus,ifyetakenotthatlittle,littlelessthanlittlewitfromthemthattheyhave!whichshort—armedignoranceitselfknowsissoabundantscarce,itwillnotincircumventiondeliveraflyfromaspider,withoutdrawingtheirmassyironsandcuttingtheweb。Afterthis,thevengeanceonthewholecamp!orrather,thebone—ache!forthat,methinks,isthecursedependentonthosethatwarforaplacket。IhavesaidmyprayersanddevilEnvysayAmen。Whatho!myLordAchilles!
EnterPATROCLUSPATROCLUSWho’sthere?Thersites!GoodThersites,comeinandrail。THERSITESIfIcouldhaverememberedagiltcounterfeit,thouwouldstnothaveslippedoutofmycontemplation:
butitisnomatter;thyselfuponthyself!Thecommoncurseofmankind,follyandignorance,bethineingreatrevenue!heavenblesstheefromatutor,anddisciplinecomenotnearthee!Letthybloodbethydirectiontillthydeath!thenifshethatlaystheeoutsaysthouartafaircorse,I’llbeswornandswornupon’tshenevershroudedanybutlazars。
Amen。Where’sAchilles?PATROCLUSWhat,artthoudevout?wastthouinprayer?THERSITESAy:theheavenshearme!
EnterACHILLESACHILLESWho’sthere?PATROCLUSThersites,mylord。ACHILLESWhere,where?Artthoucome?why,mycheese,mydigestion,whyhastthounotservedthyselfintomytablesomanymeals?Come,what’sAgamemnon?THERSITESThycommander,Achilles。Thentellme,Patroclus,what’sAchilles?PATROCLUSThylord,Thersites:thentellme,Ipraythee,what’sthyself?THERSITESThyknower,Patroclus:thentellme,Patroclus,whatartthou?PATROCLUSThoumaysttellthatknowest。ACHILLESO,tell,tell。THERSITESI’lldeclinethewholequestion。AgamemnoncommandsAchilles;Achillesismylord;IamPatroclus’
knower,andPatroclusisafool。PATROCLUSYourascal!THERSITESPeace,fool!Ihavenotdone。ACHILLESHeisaprivilegedman。Proceed,Thersites。THERSITESAgamemnonisafool;Achillesisafool;
Thersitesisafool,and,asaforesaid,Patroclusisafool。ACHILLESDerivethis;come。THERSITESAgamemnonisafooltooffertocommandAchilles;
AchillesisafooltobecommandedofAgamemnon;
Thersitesisafooltoservesuchafool,andPatroclusisafoolpositive。PATROCLUSWhyamIafool?THERSITESMakethatdemandoftheprover。Itsufficesmethouart。Lookyou,whocomeshere?ACHILLESPatroclus,I’llspeakwithnobody。
Comeinwithme,Thersites。
ExitTHERSITESHereissuchpatchery,suchjugglingandsuchknavery!alltheargumentisacuckoldandawhore;agoodquarreltodrawemulousfactionsandbleedtodeathupon。Now,thedryserpigoonthesubject!andwarandlecheryconfoundall!
ExitEnterAGAMEMNON,ULYSSES,NESTOR,DIOMEDES,andAJAXAGAMEMNONWhereisAchilles?PATROCLUSWithinhistent;butilldisposed,mylord。AGAMEMNONLetitbeknowntohimthatwearehere。
Heshentourmessengers;andwelaybyOurappertainments,visitingofhim:
Lethimbetoldso;lestperchancehethinkWedarenotmovethequestionofourplace,Orknownotwhatweare。PATROCLUSIshallsaysotohim。
ExitULYSSESWesawhimattheopeningofhistent:
Heisnotsick。AJAXYes,lion—sick,sickofproudheart:youmaycallitmelancholy,ifyouwillfavourtheman;but,bymyhead,’tispride:butwhy,why?lethimshowusthecause。Aword,mylord。
TakesAGAMEMNONasideNESTORWhatmovesAjaxthustobayathim?ULYSSESAchilleshathinveigledhisfoolfromhim。NESTORWho,Thersites?ULYSSESHe。NESTORThenwillAjaxlackmatter,ifhehavelosthisargument。ULYSSESNo,yousee,heishisargumentthathashisargument,Achilles。NESTORAllthebetter;theirfractionismoreourwishthantheirfaction:butitwasastrongcomposureafoolcoulddisunite。ULYSSESTheamitythatwisdomknitsnot,follymayeasilyuntie。HerecomesPatroclus。
Re—enterPATROCLUSNESTORNoAchilleswithhim。ULYSSESTheelephanthathjoints,butnoneforcourtesy:
hislegsarelegsfornecessity,notforflexure。PATROCLUSAchillesbidsmesay,heismuchsorry,IfanythingmorethanyoursportandpleasureDidmoveyourgreatnessandthisnoblestateTocalluponhim;hehopesitisnootherButforyourhealthandyourdigestionsake,Andafter—dinner’sbreath。AGAMEMNONHearyou,Patroclus:
Wearetoowellacquaintedwiththeseanswers:
Buthisevasion,wing’dthusswiftwithscorn,Cannotoutflyourapprehensions。
Muchattributehehath,andmuchthereasonWhyweascribeittohim;yetallhisvirtues,Notvirtuouslyonhisownpartbeheld,Doinoureyesbegintolosetheirgloss,Yea,likefairfruitinanunwholesomedish,Areliketorotuntasted。Goandtellhim,Wecometospeakwithhim;andyoushallnotsin,Ifyoudosaywethinkhimover—proudAndunder—honest,inself—assumptiongreaterThaninthenoteofjudgment;andworthierthanhimselfHeretendthesavagestrangenessheputson,Disguisetheholystrengthoftheircommand,AndunderwriteinanobservingkindHishumorouspredominance;yea,watchHispettishlunes,hisebbs,hisflows,asifThepassageandwholecarriageofthisactionRodeonhistide。Gotellhimthis,andadd,Thatifheoverholdhispricesomuch,We’llnoneofhim;butlethim,likeanengineNotportable,lieunderthisreport:
’Bringactionhither,thiscannotgotowar:
AstirringdwarfwedoallowancegiveBeforeasleepinggiant。’Tellhimso。PATROCLUSIshall;andbringhisanswerpresently。
ExitAGAMEMNONInsecondvoicewe’llnotbesatisfied;
Wecometospeakwithhim。Ulysses,enteryou。
ExitULYSSESAJAXWhatishemorethananother?AGAMEMNONNomorethanwhathethinksheis。AJAXIshesomuch?DoyounotthinkhethinkshimselfabettermanthanIam?AGAMEMNONNoquestion。AJAXWillyousubscribehisthought,andsayheis?AGAMEMNONNo,nobleAjax;youareasstrong,asvaliant,aswise,nolessnoble,muchmoregentle,andaltogethermoretractable。AJAXWhyshouldamanbeproud?Howdothpridegrow?I
knownotwhatprideis。AGAMEMNONYourmindistheclearer,Ajax,andyourvirtuesthefairer。Hethatisproudeatsuphimself:prideishisownglass,hisowntrumpet,hisownchronicle;
andwhateverpraisesitselfbutinthedeed,devoursthedeedinthepraise。AJAXIdohateaproudman,asIhatetheengenderingoftoads。NESTORYetheloveshimself:is’tnotstrange?
AsideRe—enterULYSSESULYSSESAchilleswillnottothefieldto—morrow。AGAMEMNONWhat’shisexcuse?ULYSSESHedothrelyonnone,ButcarriesonthestreamofhisdisposeWithoutobservanceorrespectofany,Inwillpeculiarandinself—admission。AGAMEMNONWhywillhenotuponourfairrequestUntenthispersonandsharetheairwithus?ULYSSESThingssmallasnothing,forrequest’ssakeonly,Hemakesimportant:possess’dheiswithgreatness,AndspeaksnottohimselfbutwithaprideThatquarrelsatself—breath:imaginedworthHoldsinhisbloodsuchswolnandhotdiscourseThat’twixthismentalandhisactivepartsKingdom’dAchillesincommotionragesAndbattersdownhimself:whatshouldIsay?
Heissoplaguyproudthatthedeath—tokensofitCry’Norecovery。’AGAMEMNONLetAjaxgotohim。
Dearlord,goyouandgreethiminhistent:
’Tissaidheholdsyouwell,andwillbeledAtyourrequestalittlefromhimself。ULYSSESOAgamemnon,letitnotbeso!
We’llconsecratethestepsthatAjaxmakesWhentheygofromAchilles:shalltheproudlordThatbasteshisarrogancewithhisownseamAndneversuffersmatteroftheworldEnterhisthoughts,savesuchasdorevolveAndruminatehimself,shallhebeworshipp’dOfthatweholdanidolmorethanhe?
No,thisthriceworthyandrightvaliantlordMustnotsostalehispalm,noblyacquired;
Nor,bymywill,assubjugatehismerit,AsamplytitledasAchillesis,BygoingtoAchilles:
ThatweretoenlardhisfatalreadyprideAndaddmorecoalstoCancerwhenheburnsWithentertaininggreatHyperion。
Thislordgotohim!Jupiterforbid,Andsayinthunder’Achillesgotohim。’NESTOR[AsidetoDIOMEDES]O,thisiswell;
herubstheveinofhim。DIOMEDES[AsidetoNESTOR]Andhowhissilencedrinksupthisapplause!AJAXIfIgotohim,withmyarmedfistI’llpashhimo’ertheface。AGAMEMNONO,no,youshallnotgo。AJAXAna’beproudwithme,I’llpheezehispride:
Letmegotohim。ULYSSESNotfortheworththathangsuponourquarrel。AJAXApaltry,insolentfellow!NESTORHowhedescribeshimself!AJAXCanhenotbesociable?ULYSSESTheravenchidesblackness。AJAXI’lllethishumoursblood。AGAMEMNONHewillbethephysicianthatshouldbethepatient。AJAXAnallmenwereo’mymind,——ULYSSESWitwouldbeoutoffashion。AJAXA’shouldnotbearitso,a’shouldeatswordsfirst:
shallpridecarryit?NESTORAn’twould,you’ldcarryhalf。ULYSSESA’wouldhavetenshares。AJAXIwillkneadhim;I’llmakehimsupple。NESTORHe’snotyetthroughwarm:forcehimwithpraises:
pourin,pourin;hisambitionisdry。ULYSSES[ToAGAMEMNON]Mylord,youfeedtoomuchonthisdislike。NESTOROurnoblegeneral,donotdoso。DIOMEDESYoumustpreparetofightwithoutAchilles。ULYSSESWhy,’tisthisnamingofhimdoeshimharm。
Hereisaman——but’tisbeforehisface;
Iwillbesilent。NESTORWhereforeshouldyouso?
Heisnotemulous,asAchillesis。ULYSSESKnowthewholeworld,heisasvaliant。AJAXAwhoresondog,thatshallpelterthuswithus!
WouldhewereaTrojan!NESTORWhatavicewereitinAjaxnow,——ULYSSESIfhewereproud,——DIOMEDESOrcovetousofpraise,——ULYSSESAy,orsurlyborne,——DIOMEDESOrstrange,orself—affected!ULYSSESThanktheheavens,lord,thouartofsweetcomposure;
Praisehimthatgotthee,shethatgavetheesuck:
Famedbethytutor,andthypartsofnatureThricefamed,beyondallerudition:
Buthethatdisciplinedthyarmstofight,LetMarsdivideeternityintwain,Andgivehimhalf:and,forthyvigour,Bull—bearingMilohisadditionyieldTosinewyAjax。Iwillnotpraisethywisdom,Which,likeabourn,apale,ashore,confinesThyspaciousanddilatedparts:here’sNestor;
Instructedbytheantiquarytimes,Hemust,heis,hecannotbutbewise:
Putpardon,fatherNestor,wereyourdaysAsgreenasAjax’andyourbrainsotemper’d,Youshouldnothavetheeminenceofhim,ButbeasAjax。AJAXShallIcallyoufather?NESTORAy,mygoodson。DIOMEDESBeruledbyhim,LordAjax。ULYSSESThereisnotarryinghere;thehartAchillesKeepsthicket。PleaseitourgreatgeneralTocalltogetherallhisstateofwar;
FreshkingsarecometoTroy:to—morrowWemustwithallourmainofpowerstandfast:
Andhere’salord,——comeknightsfromeasttowest,Andculltheirflower,Ajaxshallcopethebest。AGAMEMNONGowetocouncil。LetAchillessleep:
Lightboatssailswift,thoughgreaterhulksdrawdeep。
ExeuntACTIIISCENEI。Troy。Priam’spalace。EnteraServantandPANDARUSPANDARUSFriend,you!prayyou,aword:donotyoufollowtheyoungLordParis?ServantAy,sir,whenhegoesbeforeme。PANDARUSYoudependuponhim,Imean?ServantSir,Idodependuponthelord。PANDARUSYoudependuponanoblegentleman;Imustneedspraisehim。ServantThelordbepraised!PANDARUSYouknowme,doyounot?ServantFaith,sir,superficially。PANDARUSFriend,knowmebetter;IamtheLordPandarus。ServantIhopeIshallknowyourhonourbetter。PANDARUSIdodesireit。ServantYouareinthestateofgrace。PANDARUSGrace!notso,friend:honourandlordshiparemytitles。
MusicwithinWhatmusicisthis?ServantIdobutpartlyknow,sir:itismusicinparts。PANDARUSKnowyouthemusicians?ServantWholly,sir。PANDARUSWhoplaytheyto?ServantTothehearers,sir。PANDARUSAtwhosepleasure,friendServantAtmine,sir,andtheirsthatlovemusic。PANDARUSCommand,Imean,friend。ServantWhoshallIcommand,sir?PANDARUSFriend,weunderstandnotoneanother:
Iamtoocourtlyandthouarttoocunning。Atwhoserequestdothesemenplay?ServantThat’sto’tindeed,sir:marry,sir,attherequestofParismylord,who’sthereinperson;withhim,themortalVenus,theheart—bloodofbeauty,love’sinvisiblesoul,——PANDARUSWho,mycousinCressida?ServantNo,sir,Helen:couldyounotfindoutthatbyherattributes?PANDARUSItshouldseem,fellow,thatthouhastnotseentheLadyCressida。IcometospeakwithParisfromthePrinceTroilus:Iwillmakeacomplimentalassaultuponhim,formybusinessseethes。ServantSoddenbusiness!there’sastewedphraseindeed!
EnterPARISandHELEN,attendedPANDARUSFairbetoyou,mylord,andtoallthisfaircompany!fairdesires,inallfairmeasure,fairlyguidethem!especiallytoyou,fairqueen!
fairthoughtsbeyourfairpillow!HELENDearlord,youarefulloffairwords。PANDARUSYouspeakyourfairpleasure,sweetqueen。
Fairprince,hereisgoodbrokenmusic。PARISYouhavebrokeit,cousin:and,bymylife,youshallmakeitwholeagain;youshallpieceitoutwithapieceofyourperformance。Nell,heisfullofharmony。PANDARUSTruly,lady,no。HELENO,sir,——PANDARUSRude,insooth;ingoodsooth,veryrude。PARISWellsaid,mylord!well,yousaysoinfits。PANDARUSIhavebusinesstomylord,dearqueen。
Mylord,willyouvouchsafemeaword?HELENNay,thisshallnothedgeusout:we’llhearyousing,certainly。PANDARUSWell,sweetqueen。youarepleasantwithme。But,marry,thus,mylord:mydearlordandmostesteemedfriend,yourbrotherTroilus,——HELENMyLordPandarus;honey—sweetlord,——PANDARUSGoto,sweetqueen,togo:——commendshimselfmostaffectionatelytoyou,——HELENYoushallnotbobusoutofourmelody:
ifyoudo,ourmelancholyuponyourhead!PANDARUSSweetqueen,sweetqueen!that’sasweetqueen,i’faith。HELENAndtomakeasweetladysadisasouroffence。PANDARUSNay,thatshallnotserveyourturn;thatshallnot,intruth,la。Nay,Icarenotforsuchwords;
no,no。And,mylord,hedesiresyou,thatifthekingcallforhimatsupper,youwillmakehisexcuse。HELENMyLordPandarus,——PANDARUSWhatsaysmysweetqueen,myveryverysweetqueen?PARISWhatexploit’sinhand?wheresupsheto—night?HELENNay,but,mylord,——PANDARUSWhatsaysmysweetqueen?Mycousinwillfalloutwithyou。Youmustnotknowwherehesups。PARISI’lllaymylife,withmydisposerCressida。PANDARUSNo,no,nosuchmatter;youarewide:
come,yourdisposerissick。PARISWell,I’llmakeexcuse。PANDARUSAy,goodmylord。WhyshouldyousayCressida?
no,yourpoordisposer’ssick。PARISIspy。PANDARUSYouspy!whatdoyouspy?Come,givemeaninstrument。Now,sweetqueen。HELENWhy,thisiskindlydone。PANDARUSMynieceishorriblyinlovewithathingyouhave,sweetqueen。HELENSheshallhaveit,mylord,ifitbenotmylordParis。PANDARUSHe!no,she’llnoneofhim;theytwoaretwain。HELENFallingin,afterfallingout,maymakethemthree。PANDARUSCome,come,I’llhearnomoreofthis;
I’llsingyouasongnow。HELENAy,ay,pritheenow。Bymytroth,sweetlord,thouhastafineforehead。PANDARUSAy,youmay,youmay。HELENLetthysongbelove:thislovewillundousall。
OCupid,Cupid,Cupid!PANDARUSLove!ay,thatitshall,i’faith。PARISAy,goodnow,love,love,nothingbutlove。PANDARUSIngoodtroth,itbeginsso。
SingsLove,love,nothingbutlove,stillmore!
For,O,love’sbowShootsbuckanddoe:
Theshaftconfounds,Notthatitwounds,Butticklesstillthesore。
TheseloverscryOh!oh!theydie!
Yetthatwhichseemsthewoundtokill,Dothturnoh!oh!toha!ha!he!
Sodyinglovelivesstill:
Oh!oh!awhile,butha!ha!ha!
Oh!oh!groansoutforha!ha!ha!
Heigh—ho!HELENInlove,i’faith,totheverytipofthenose。PARISHeeatsnothingbutdoves,love,andthatbreedshotblood,andhotbloodbegetshotthoughts,andhotthoughtsbegethotdeeds,andhotdeedsislove。PANDARUSIsthisthegenerationoflove?hotblood,hotthoughts,andhotdeeds?Why,theyarevipers:
isloveagenerationofvipers?Sweetlord,who’sa—fieldto—day?PARISHector,Deiphobus,Helenus,Antenor,andallthegallantryofTroy:Iwouldfainhavearmedto—day,butmyNellwouldnothaveitso。HowchancemybrotherTroiluswentnot?HELENHehangsthelipatsomething:youknowall,LordPandarus。PANDARUSNotI,honey—sweetqueen。Ilongtohearhowtheyspedto—day。You’llrememberyourbrother’sexcuse?PARISToahair。PANDARUSFarewell,sweetqueen。HELENCommendmetoyourniece。PANDARUSIwill,sweetqueen。
ExitAretreatsoundedPARISThey’recomefromfield:letustoPriam’shall,Togreetthewarriors。SweetHelen,ImustwooyouTohelpunarmourHector:hisstubbornbuckles,Withtheseyourwhiteenchantingfingerstouch’d,ShallmoreobeythantotheedgeofsteelOrforceofGreekishsinews;youshalldomoreThanalltheislandkings,——disarmgreatHector。HELEN’Twillmakeusproudtobehisservant,Paris;
Yea,whatheshallreceiveofusindutyGivesusmorepalminbeautythanwehave,Yea,overshinesourself。PARISSweet,abovethoughtIlovethee。
ExeuntSCENEII。Thesame。Pandarus’orchard。EnterPANDARUSandTroilus’sBoy,meetingPANDARUSHownow!where’sthymaster?atmycousinCressida’s?BoyNo,sir;hestaysforyoutoconducthimthither。PANDARUSO,herehecomes。
EnterTROILUS
Hownow,hownow!TROILUSSirrah,walkoff。
ExitBoyPANDARUSHaveyouseenmycousin?TROILUSNo,Pandarus:Istalkaboutherdoor,LikeastrangesoulupontheStygianbanksStayingforwaftage。O,bethoumyCharon,AndgivemeswifttransportancetothosefieldsWhereImaywallowinthelily—bedsProposedforthedeserver!OgentlePandarus,FromCupid’sshoulderpluckhispaintedwingsAndflywithmetoCressid!PANDARUSWalkherei’theorchard,I’llbringherstraight。
ExitTROILUSIamgiddy;expectationwhirlsmeround。
TheimaginaryrelishissosweetThatitenchantsmysense:whatwillitbe,WhenthatthewaterypalatetastesindeedLove’sthricerepurednectar?death,Ifearme,Swooningdestruction,orsomejoytoofine,Toosubtle—potent,tunedtoosharpinsweetness,Forthecapacityofmyruderpowers:
Ifearitmuch;andIdofearbesides,ThatIshalllosedistinctioninmyjoys;
Asdothabattle,whentheychargeonheapsTheenemyflying。
Re—enterPANDARUSPANDARUSShe’smakingherready,she’llcomestraight:
youmustbewittynow。Shedoessoblush,andfetchesherwindsoshort,asifshewerefrayedwithasprite:I’llfetchher。Itistheprettiestvillain:shefetchesherbreathasshortasanew—ta’ensparrow。
ExitTROILUSEvensuchapassiondothembracemybosom:
Myheartbeatsthickerthanafeverouspulse;
Andallmypowersdotheirbestowinglose,LikevassalageatunawaresencounteringTheeyeofmajesty。
Re—enterPANDARUSwithCRESSIDAPANDARUSCome,come,whatneedyoublush?shame’sababy。
Heresheisnow:sweartheoathsnowtoherthatyouhavesworntome。What,areyougoneagain?
youmustbewatchedereyoubemadetame,mustyou?
Comeyourways,comeyourways;anyoudrawbackward,we’llputyoui’thefills。Whydoyounotspeaktoher?Come,drawthiscurtain,andlet’sseeyourpicture。Alastheday,howloathyouaretooffenddaylight!an’tweredark,you’ldclosesooner。
So,so;rubon,andkissthemistress。Hownow!
akissinfee—farm!buildthere,carpenter;theairissweet。Nay,youshallfightyourheartsoutereIpartyou。Thefalconasthetercel,foralltheducksi’theriver:goto,goto。TROILUSYouhavebereftmeofallwords,lady。PANDARUSWordspaynodebts,giveherdeeds:butshe’llbereaveyouo’thedeedstoo,ifshecallyouractivityinquestion。What,billingagain?Here’s’Inwitnesswhereofthepartiesinterchangeably’——
Comein,comein:I’llgogetafire。
ExitCRESSIDAWillyouwalkin,mylord?TROILUSOCressida,howoftenhaveIwishedmethus!CRESSIDAWished,mylord!Thegodsgrant,——Omylord!TROILUSWhatshouldtheygrant?whatmakesthisprettyabruption?Whattoocuriousdregespiesmysweetladyinthefountainofourlove?CRESSIDAMoredregsthanwater,ifmyfearshaveeyes。TROILUSFearsmakedevilsofcherubims;theyneverseetruly。CRESSIDABlindfear,thatseeingreasonleads,findssaferfootingthanblindreasonstumblingwithoutfear:
tofeartheworstoftcurestheworse。TROILUSO,letmyladyapprehendnofear:inallCupid’spageantthereispresentednomonster。CRESSIDANornothingmonstrousneither?TROILUSNothing,butourundertakings;whenwevowtoweepseas,liveinfire,eatrocks,tametigers;thinkingitharderforourmistresstodeviseimpositionenoughthanforustoundergoanydifficultyimposed。
Thisisthemonstruosityinlove,lady,thatthewillisinfiniteandtheexecutionconfined,thatthedesireisboundlessandtheactaslavetolimit。CRESSIDATheysayallloversswearmoreperformancethantheyareableandyetreserveanabilitythattheyneverperform,vowingmorethantheperfectionoftenanddischarginglessthanthetenthpartofone。Theythathavethevoiceoflionsandtheactofhares,aretheynotmonsters?TROILUSAretheresuch?sucharenotwe:praiseusaswearetasted,allowusasweprove;ourheadshallgobaretillmeritcrownit:noperfectioninreversionshallhaveapraiseinpresent:wewillnotnamedesertbeforehisbirth,and,beingborn,hisadditionshallbehumble。Fewwordstofairfaith:TroilusshallbesuchtoCressidaswhatenvycansayworstshallbeamockforhistruth,andwhattruthcanspeaktruestnottruerthanTroilus。CRESSIDAWillyouwalkin,mylord?
Re—enterPANDARUSPANDARUSWhat,blushingstill?haveyounotdonetalkingyet?CRESSIDAWell,uncle,whatfollyIcommit,Idedicatetoyou。PANDARUSIthankyouforthat:ifmylordgetaboyofyou,you’llgivehimme。Betruetomylord:ifheflinch,chidemeforit。TROILUSYouknownowyourhostages;youruncle’swordandmyfirmfaith。PANDARUSNay,I’llgivemywordforhertoo:ourkindred,thoughtheybelongeretheyarewooed,theyareconstantbeingwon:theyareburs,Icantellyou;
they’llstickwheretheyarethrown。CRESSIDABoldnesscomestomenow,andbringsmeheart。
PrinceTroilus,IhavelovedyounightanddayFormanywearymonths。TROILUSWhywasmyCressidthensohardtowin?CRESSIDAHardtoseemwon:butIwaswon,mylord,Withthefirstglancethatever——pardonme——
IfIconfessmuch,youwillplaythetyrant。
Iloveyounow;butnot,tillnow,somuchButImightmasterit:infaith,Ilie;
Mythoughtswerelikeunbridledchildren,grownTooheadstrongfortheirmother。See,wefools!
WhyhaveIblabb’d?whoshallbetruetous,Whenwearesounsecrettoourselves?
But,thoughIlovedyouwell,Iwoo’dyounot;
Andyet,goodfaith,Iwish’dmyselfaman,Orthatwewomenhadmen’sprivilegeOfspeakingfirst。Sweet,bidmeholdmytongue,ForinthisraptureIshallsurelyspeakThethingIshallrepent。See,see,yoursilence,Cunningindumbness,frommyweaknessdrawsMyverysoulofcounsel!stopmymouth。TROILUSAndshall,albeitsweetmusicissuesthence。PANDARUSPretty,i’faith。CRESSIDAMylord,Idobeseechyou,pardonme;
’Twasnotmypurpose,thustobegakiss:
Iamashamed。Oheavens!whathaveIdone?
ForthistimewillItakemyleave,mylord。TROILUSYourleave,sweetCressid!PANDARUSLeave!anyoutakeleavetillto—morrowmorning,——CRESSIDAPrayyou,contentyou。TROILUSWhatoffendsyou,lady?CRESSIDASir,mineowncompany。TROILUSYoucannotshunYourself。CRESSIDALetmegoandtry:
Ihaveakindofselfresideswithyou;
Butanunkindself,thatitselfwillleave,Tobeanother’sfool。Iwouldbegone:
Whereismywit?IknownotwhatIspeak。TROILUSWellknowtheywhattheyspeakthatspeaksowisely。CRESSIDAPerchance,mylord,Ishowmorecraftthanlove;
Andfellsoroundlytoalargeconfession,Toangleforyourthoughts:butyouarewise,Orelseyoulovenot,fortobewiseandloveExceedsman’smight;thatdwellswithgodsabove。TROILUSOthatIthoughtitcouldbeinawoman——
As,ifitcan,Iwillpresumeinyou——
Tofeedforayeherrampandflamesoflove;
Tokeepherconstancyinplightandyouth,Outlivingbeauty’soutward,withamindThatdothrenewswifterthanblooddecays!
Orthatpersuasioncouldbutthusconvinceme,ThatmyintegrityandtruthtoyouMightbeaffrontedwiththematchandweightOfsuchawinnow’dpurityinlove;
HowwereIthenuplifted!but,alas!
Iamastrueastruth’ssimplicityAndsimplerthantheinfancyoftruth。CRESSIDAInthatI’llwarwithyou。TROILUSOvirtuousfight,Whenrightwithrightwarswhoshallbemostright!
TrueswainsinloveshallintheworldtocomeApprovetheirtruthsbyTroilus:whentheirrhymes,Fullofprotest,ofoathandbigcompare,Wantsimiles,truthtiredwithiteration,Astrueassteel,asplantagetothemoon,Assuntoday,asturtletohermate,Asirontoadamant,asearthtothecentre,Yet,afterallcomparisonsoftruth,Astruth’sauthenticauthortobecited,’AstrueasTroilus’shallcrownuptheverse,Andsanctifythenumbers。CRESSIDAProphetmayyoube!
IfIbefalse,orswerveahairfromtruth,Whentimeisoldandhathforgotitself,WhenwaterdropshavewornthestonesofTroy,Andblindoblivionswallow’dcitiesup,AndmightystatescharacterlessaregratedTodustynothing,yetletmemory,Fromfalsetofalse,amongfalsemaidsinlove,Upbraidmyfalsehood!whenthey’vesaid’asfalseAsair,aswater,wind,orsandyearth,Asfoxtolamb,aswolftoheifer’scalf,Pardtothehind,orstepdametoherson,’
’Yea,’letthemsay,tosticktheheartoffalsehood,’AsfalseasCressid。’PANDARUSGoto,abargainmade:sealit,sealit;I’llbethewitness。HereIholdyourhand,heremycousin’s。
Ifeveryouprovefalseonetoanother,sinceIhavetakensuchpainstobringyoutogether,letallpitifulgoers—betweenbecalledtotheworld’sendaftermyname;callthemallPandars;letallconstantmenbeTroiluses,allfalsewomenCressids,andallbrokers—betweenPandars!say,amen。TROILUSAmen。CRESSIDAAmen。PANDARUSAmen。WhereuponIwillshowyouachamberwithabed;whichbed,becauseitshallnotspeakofyourprettyencounters,pressittodeath:away!
AndCupidgrantalltongue—tiedmaidenshereBed,chamber,Pandartoprovidethisgear!
ExeuntSCENEIII。TheGreciancamp。BeforeAchilles’tent。EnterAGAMEMNON,ULYSSES,DIOMEDES,NESTOR,AJAX,MENELAUS,andCALCHASCALCHASNow,princes,fortheserviceIhavedoneyou,TheadvantageofthetimepromptsmealoudTocallforrecompense。AppearittoyourmindThat,throughthesightIbearinthingstolove,Ihaveabandon’dTroy,leftmypossession,Incurr’datraitor’sname;exposedmyself,Fromcertainandpossess’dconveniences,Todoubtfulfortunes;sequesteringfrommeallThattime,acquaintance,customandconditionMadetameandmostfamiliartomynature,Andhere,todoyouservice,ambecomeAsnewintotheworld,strange,unacquainted:
Idobeseechyou,asinwayoftaste,Togivemenowalittlebenefit,Outofthosemanyregister’dinpromise,Which,yousay,livetocomeinmybehalf。AGAMEMNONWhatwouldstthouofus,Trojan?makedemand。CALCHASYouhaveaTrojanprisoner,call’dAntenor,Yesterdaytook:Troyholdshimverydear。
Ofthaveyou——oftenhaveyouthankstherefore——
DesiredmyCressidinrightgreatexchange,WhomTroyhathstilldenied:butthisAntenor,Iknow,issuchawrestintheiraffairsThattheirnegotiationsallmustslack,Wantinghismanage;andtheywillalmostGiveusaprinceofblood,asonofPriam,Inchangeofhim:lethimbesent,greatprinces,Andheshallbuymydaughter;andherpresenceShallquitestrikeoffallserviceIhavedone,Inmostacceptedpain。AGAMEMNONLetDiomedesbearhim,AndbringusCressidhither:CalchasshallhaveWhatherequestsofus。GoodDiomed,Furnishyoufairlyforthisinterchange:
WithalbringwordifHectorwillto—morrowBeanswer’dinhischallenge:Ajaxisready。DIOMEDESThisshallIundertake;and’tisaburdenWhichIamproudtobear。
ExeuntDIOMEDESandCALCHAS
EnterACHILLESandPATROCLUS,beforetheirtentULYSSESAchillesstandsi’theentranceofhistent:
Pleaseitourgeneraltopassstrangelybyhim,Asifhewereforgot;and,princesall,Laynegligentandlooseregarduponhim:
Iwillcomelast。’Tislikehe’llquestionmeWhysuchunplausiveeyesarebentonhim:
Ifso,Ihavederisionmedicinable,Tousebetweenyourstrangenessandhispride,Whichhisownwillshallhavedesiretodrink:
Itmaybegood:pridehathnootherglassToshowitselfbutpride,forsupplekneesFeedarroganceandaretheproudman’sfees。AGAMEMNONWe’llexecuteyourpurpose,andputonAformofstrangenessaswepassalong:
Sodoeachlord,andeithergreethimnot,Orelsedisdainfully,whichshallshakehimmoreThanifnotlook’don。Iwillleadtheway。ACHILLESWhat,comesthegeneraltospeakwithme?
Youknowmymind,I’llfightnomore’gainstTroy。AGAMEMNONWhatsaysAchilles?wouldheaughtwithus?NESTORWouldyou,mylord,aughtwiththegeneral?ACHILLESNo。NESTORNothing,mylord。AGAMEMNONThebetter。
ExeuntAGAMEMNONandNESTORACHILLESGoodday,goodday。MENELAUSHowdoyou?howdoyou?
ExitACHILLESWhat,doesthecuckoldscornme?AJAXHownow,Patroclus!ACHILLESGoodmorrow,Ajax。AJAXHa?ACHILLESGoodmorrow。AJAXAy,andgoodnextdaytoo。
ExitACHILLESWhatmeanthesefellows?KnowtheynotAchilles?PATROCLUSTheypassbystrangely:theywereusedtobendTosendtheirsmilesbeforethemtoAchilles;
TocomeashumblyastheyusedtocreepToholyaltars。ACHILLESWhat,amIpooroflate?
’Tiscertain,greatness,oncefall’noutwithfortune,Mustfalloutwithmentoo:whatthedeclinedisHeshallassoonreadintheeyesofothersAsfeelinhisownfall;formen,likebutterflies,Shownottheirmealywingsbuttothesummer,Andnotaman,forbeingsimplyman,Hathanyhonour,buthonourforthosehonoursThatarewithouthim,asplace,riches,favour,Prizesofaccidentasoftasmerit:
Whichwhentheyfall,asbeingslipperystanders,Thelovethatlean’donthemasslipperytoo,DoonepluckdownanotherandtogetherDieinthefall。But’tisnotsowithme:
FortuneandIarefriends:IdoenjoyAtamplepointallthatIdidpossess,Savethesemen’slooks;whodo,methinks,findoutSomethingnotworthinmesuchrichbeholdingAstheyhaveoftengiven。HereisUlysses;
I’llinterrupthisreading。
HownowUlysses!ULYSSESNow,greatThetis’son!ACHILLESWhatareyoureading?ULYSSESAstrangefellowhereWritesme:’Thatman,howdearlyeverparted,Howmuchinhaving,orwithoutorin,Cannotmakeboasttohavethatwhichhehath,Norfeelsnotwhatheowes,butbyreflection;
AswhenhisvirtuesshininguponothersHeatthemandtheyretortthatheatagainTothefirstgiver。’ACHILLESThisisnotstrange,Ulysses。
ThebeautythatisbornehereinthefaceThebearerknowsnot,butcommendsitselfToothers’eyes;nordoththeeyeitself,Thatmostpurespiritofsense,beholditself,Notgoingfromitself;buteyetoeyeopposedSaluteseachotherwitheachother’sform;
Forspeculationturnsnottoitself,Tillithathtravell’dandismirror’dthereWhereitmayseeitself。Thisisnotstrangeatall。ULYSSESIdonotstrainattheposition,——
Itisfamiliar,——butattheauthor’sdrift;
Who,inhiscircumstance,expresslyprovesThatnomanisthelordofanything,Thoughinandofhimtherebemuchconsisting,Tillhecommunicatehispartstoothers:
NordothheofhimselfknowthemforaughtTillhebeholdthemform’dintheapplauseWherethey’reextended;who,likeanarch,reverberatesThevoiceagain,or,likeagateofsteelFrontingthesun,receivesandrendersbackHisfigureandhisheat。Iwasmuchwraptinthis;
AndapprehendedhereimmediatelyTheunknownAjax。
Heavens,whatamanisthere!averyhorse,Thathasheknowsnotwhat。Nature,whatthingsthereareMostabjectinregardanddearinuse!
WhatthingsagainmostdearintheesteemAndpoorinworth!Nowshallweseeto—morrow——
Anactthatverychancedoththrowuponhim——
Ajaxrenown’d。Oheavens,whatsomemendo,Whilesomemenleavetodo!
Howsomemencreepinskittishfortune’shall,Whilesothersplaytheidiotsinhereyes!
Howonemaneatsintoanother’spride,Whileprideisfastinginhiswantonness!
ToseetheseGrecianlords!——why,evenalreadyTheyclapthelubberAjaxontheshoulder,AsifhisfootwereonbraveHector’sbreastAndgreatTroyshrieking。ACHILLESIdobelieveit;fortheypass’dbymeAsmisersdobybeggars,neithergavetomeGoodwordnorlook:what,aremydeedsforgot?ULYSSESTimehath,mylord,awalletathisback,Whereinheputsalmsforoblivion,Agreat—sizedmonsterofingratitudes:
Thosescrapsaregooddeedspast;whicharedevour’dAsfastastheyaremade,forgotassoonAsdone:perseverance,dearmylord,Keepshonourbright:tohavedoneistohangQuiteoutoffashion,likearustymailInmonumentalmockery。Taketheinstantway;
Forhonourtravelsinastraitsonarrow,Whereonebutgoesabreast:keepthenthepath;
ForemulationhathathousandsonsThatonebyonepursue:ifyougiveway,Orhedgeasidefromthedirectforthright,Liketoanenter’dtide,theyallrushbyAndleaveyouhindmost;
Orlikeagallanthorsefall’ninfirstrank,Liethereforpavementtotheabjectrear,O’er—runandtrampledon:thenwhattheydoinpresent,Thoughlessthanyoursinpast,musto’ertopyours;
FortimeislikeafashionablehostThatslightlyshakeshispartingguestbythehand,Andwithhisarmsoutstretch’d,ashewouldfly,Graspsinthecomer:welcomeeversmiles,Andfarewellgoesoutsighing。O,letnotvirtueseekRemunerationforthethingitwas;
Forbeauty,wit,Highbirth,vigourofbone,desertinservice,Love,friendship,charity,aresubjectsallToenviousandcalumniatingtime。
Onetouchofnaturemakesthewholeworldkin,Thatallwithoneconsentpraisenew—borngawds,Thoughtheyaremadeandmouldedofthingspast,AndgivetodustthatisalittlegiltMorelaudthangilto’er—dusted。
Thepresenteyepraisesthepresentobject。
Thenmarvelnot,thougreatandcompleteman,ThatalltheGreeksbegintoworshipAjax;
SincethingsinmotionsoonercatchtheeyeThanwhatnotstirs。Thecrywentonceonthee,Andstillitmight,andyetitmayagain,IfthouwouldstnotentombthyselfaliveAndcasethyreputationinthytent;
Whosegloriousdeeds,butinthesefieldsoflate,Madeemulousmissions’mongstthegodsthemselvesAnddravegreatMarstofaction。ACHILLESOfthismyprivacyIhavestrongreasons。ULYSSESBut’gainstyourprivacyThereasonsaremorepotentandheroical:
’Tisknown,Achilles,thatyouareinloveWithoneofPriam’sdaughters。ACHILLESHa!known!ULYSSESIsthatawonder?
Theprovidencethat’sinawatchfulstateKnowsalmosteverygrainofPlutus’gold,Findsbottomintheuncomprehensivedeeps,Keepsplacewiththoughtandalmost,likethegods,Doesthoughtsunveilintheirdumbcradles。
Thereisamystery——withwhomrelationDurstnevermeddle——inthesoulofstate;
WhichhathanoperationmoredivineThanbreathorpencangiveexpressureto:
AllthecommercethatyouhavehadwithTroyAsperfectlyisoursasyours,mylord;
AndbetterwoulditfitAchillesmuchTothrowdownHectorthanPolyxena:
ButitmustgrieveyoungPyrrhusnowathome,Whenfameshallinourislandssoundhertrump,AndalltheGreekishgirlsshalltrippingsing,’GreatHector’ssisterdidAchilleswin,ButourgreatAjaxbravelybeatdownhim。’
Farewell,mylord:Iasyourloverspeak;
Thefoolslideso’ertheicethatyoushouldbreak。
ExitPATROCLUSTothiseffect,Achilles,haveImovedyou:
AwomanimpudentandmannishgrownIsnotmoreloathedthananeffeminatemanIntimeofaction。Istandcondemn’dforthis;
TheythinkmylittlestomachtothewarAndyourgreatlovetomerestrainsyouthus:
Sweet,rouseyourself;andtheweakwantonCupidShallfromyourneckunloosehisamorousfold,And,likeadew—dropfromthelion’smane,Beshooktoair。ACHILLESShallAjaxfightwithHector?PATROCLUSAy,andperhapsreceivemuchhonourbyhim。ACHILLESIseemyreputationisatstakeMyfameisshrewdlygored。PATROCLUSO,then,beware;
Thosewoundshealillthatmendogivethemselves:
OmissiontodowhatisnecessarySealsacommissiontoablankofdanger;
Anddanger,likeanague,subtlytaintsEventhenwhenwesitidlyinthesun。ACHILLESGocallThersiteshither,sweetPatroclus:
I’llsendthefooltoAjaxanddesirehimToinvitetheTrojanlordsafterthecombatToseeushereunarm’d:Ihaveawoman’slonging,AnappetitethatIamsickwithal,ToseegreatHectorinhisweedsofpeace,Totalkwithhimandtobeholdhisvisage,Eventomyfullofview。
EnterTHERSITES
Alaboursaved!THERSITESAwonder!ACHILLESWhat?THERSITESAjaxgoesupanddownthefield,askingforhimself。ACHILLESHowso?THERSITESHemustfightsinglyto—morrowwithHector,andissopropheticallyproudofanheroicalcudgellingthatheravesinsayingnothing。ACHILLESHowcanthatbe?THERSITESWhy,hestalksupanddownlikeapeacock,——astrideandastand:ruminateslikeanhostessthathathnoarithmeticbutherbraintosetdownherreckoning:
biteshislipwithapoliticregard,aswhoshouldsay’Therewerewitinthishead,an’twouldout;’
andsothereis,butitliesascoldlyinhimasfireinaflint,whichwillnotshowwithoutknocking。
Theman’sundoneforever;forifHectorbreaknothisnecki’thecombat,he’llbreak’thimselfinvain—glory。Heknowsnotme:Isaid’Goodmorrow,Ajax;’andhereplies’Thanks,Agamemnon。’Whatthinkyouofthismanthattakesmeforthegeneral?
He’sgrownaveryland—fish,language—less,amonster。
Aplagueofopinion!amanmaywearitonbothsides,likealeatherjerkin。ACHILLESThoumustbemyambassadortohim,Thersites。THERSITESWho,I?why,he’llanswernobody;heprofessesnotanswering:speakingisforbeggars;hewearshistonguein’sarms。Iwillputonhispresence:
letPatroclusmakedemandstome,youshallseethepageantofAjax。ACHILLESTohim,Patroclus;tellhimIhumblydesirethevaliantAjaxtoinvitethemostvalorousHectortocomeunarmedtomytent,andtoprocuresafe—conductforhispersonofthemagnanimousandmostillustrioussix—or—seven—times—honouredcaptain—generaloftheGrecianarmy,Agamemnon,etcetera。Dothis。PATROCLUSJoveblessgreatAjax!THERSITESHum!PATROCLUSIcomefromtheworthyAchilles,——THERSITESHa!PATROCLUSWhomosthumblydesiresyoutoinviteHectortohistent,——THERSITESHum!PATROCLUSAndtoprocuresafe—conductfromAgamemnon。THERSITESAgamemnon!PATROCLUSAy,mylord。THERSITESHa!PATROCLUSWhatsayyouto’t?THERSITESGodb’wi’you,withallmyheart。PATROCLUSYouranswer,sir。THERSITESIfto—morrowbeafairday,byeleveno’clockitwillgoonewayorother:howsoever,heshallpayformeerehehasme。PATROCLUSYouranswer,sir。THERSITESFareyouwell,withallmyheart。ACHILLESWhy,butheisnotinthistune,ishe?THERSITESNo,buthe’souto’tunethus。WhatmusicwillbeinhimwhenHectorhasknockedouthisbrains,I
knownot;but,Iamsure,none,unlessthefiddlerApollogethissinewstomakecatlingson。ACHILLESCome,thoushaltbearalettertohimstraight。THERSITESLetmebearanothertohishorse;forthat’sthemorecapablecreature。ACHILLESMymindistroubled,likeafountainstirr’d;
AndImyselfseenotthebottomofit。
ExeuntACHILLESandPATROCLUSTHERSITESWouldthefountainofyourmindwereclearagain,thatImightwateranassatit!Ihadratherbeatickinasheepthansuchavaliantignorance。
ExitACTIVSCENEI。Troy。Astreet。Enter,fromoneside,AENEAS,andServantwithatorch;
fromtheother,PARIS,DEIPHOBUS,ANTENOR,DIOMEDES,andothers,withtorchesPARISSee,ho!whoisthatthere?DEIPHOBUSItistheLordAEneas。AENEASIstheprincethereinperson?
HadIsogoodoccasiontolielongAsyou,princeParis,nothingbutheavenlybusinessShouldrobmybed—mateofmycompany。DIOMEDESThat’smymindtoo。Goodmorrow,LordAEneas。PARISAvaliantGreek,AEneas,——takehishand,——
Witnesstheprocessofyourspeech,whereinYoutoldhowDiomed,awholeweekbydays,Didhauntyouinthefield。AENEASHealthtoyou,valiantsir,Duringallquestionofthegentletruce;
ButwhenImeetyouarm’d,asblackdefianceAsheartcanthinkorcourageexecute。DIOMEDESTheoneandotherDiomedembraces。
Ourbloodsarenowincalm;and,solong,health!
Butwhencontentionandoccasionmeet,ByJove,I’llplaythehunterforthylifeWithallmyforce,pursuitandpolicy。AENEASAndthoushalthuntalion,thatwillflyWithhisfacebackward。Inhumanegentleness,WelcometoTroy!now,byAnchises’life,Welcome,indeed!ByVenus’handIswear,NomanalivecanloveinsuchasortThethinghemeanstokillmoreexcellently。DIOMEDESWesympathize:Jove,letAEneaslive,Iftomyswordhisfatebenottheglory,Athousandcompletecoursesofthesun!
But,inmineemuloushonour,lethimdie,Witheveryjointawound,andthatto—morrow!AENEASWeknoweachotherwell。DIOMEDESWedo;andlongtoknoweachotherworse。PARISThisisthemostdespitefulgentlegreeting,Thenoblesthatefullove,thate’erIheardof。
Whatbusiness,lord,soearly?AENEASIwassentfortotheking;butwhy,I
knownot。PARISHispurposemeetsyou:’twastobringthisGreekToCalchas’house,andtheretorenderhim,FortheenfreedAntenor,thefairCressid:
Let’shaveyourcompany,or,ifyouplease,Hastetherebeforeus:Iconstantlydothink——
Orrather,callmythoughtacertainknowledge——
MybrotherTroiluslodgesthereto—night:
Rousehimandgivehimnoteofourapproach。
Withthewholequalitywherefore:IfearWeshallbemuchunwelcome。AENEASThatIassureyou:
TroilushadratherTroywerebornetoGreeceThanCressidbornefromTroy。PARISThereisnohelp;
ThebitterdispositionofthetimeWillhaveitso。On,lord;we’llfollowyou。AENEASGoodmorrow,all。
ExitwithServantPARISAndtellme,nobleDiomed,faith,tellmetrue,Eveninthesoulofsoundgood—fellowship,Who,inyourthoughts,meritsfairHelenbest,MyselforMenelaus?DIOMEDESBothalike:
Hemeritswelltohaveher,thatdothseekher,Notmakinganyscrupleofhersoilure,Withsuchahellofpainandworldofcharge,Andyouaswelltokeepher,thatdefendher,Notpalatingthetasteofherdishonour,Withsuchacostlylossofwealthandfriends:
He,likeapulingcuckold,woulddrinkupTheleesanddregsofaflattamedpiece;
You,likealecher,outofwhorishloinsArepleasedtobreedoutyourinheritors:
Bothmeritspoised,eachweighsnorlessnormore;
Butheashe,theheavierforawhore。PARISYouaretoobittertoyourcountrywoman。DIOMEDESShe’sbittertohercountry:hearme,Paris:
ForeveryfalsedropinherbawdyveinsAGrecian’slifehathsunk;foreveryscrupleOfhercontaminatedcarrionweight,ATrojanhathbeenslain:sinceshecouldspeak,ShehathnotgivensomanygoodwordsbreathAsforherGreeksandTrojanssuffer’ddeath。PARISFairDiomed,youdoaschapmendo,Dispraisethethingthatyoudesiretobuy:
Butweinsilenceholdthisvirtuewell,We’llbutcommendwhatweintendtosell。
Hereliesourway。
ExeuntSCENEII。Thesame。CourtofPandarus’house。EnterTROILUSandCRESSIDATROILUSDear,troublenotyourself:themorniscold。CRESSIDAThen,sweetmylord,I’llcallmineuncledown;
Heshallunboltthegates。TROILUSTroublehimnot;
Tobed,tobed:sleepkillthoseprettyeyes,AndgiveassoftattachmenttothysensesAsinfants’emptyofallthought!CRESSIDAGoodmorrow,then。TROILUSIpritheenow,tobed。CRESSIDAAreyoua—wearyofme?TROILUSOCressida!butthatthebusyday,Wakedbythelark,hathrousedtheribaldcrows,Anddreamingnightwillhideourjoysnolonger,Iwouldnotfromthee。CRESSIDANighthathbeentoobrief。TROILUSBeshrewthewitch!withvenomouswightsshestaysAstediouslyashell,butfliesthegraspsofloveWithwingsmoremomentary—swiftthanthought。
Youwillcatchcold,andcurseme。CRESSIDAPrithee,tarry:
Youmenwillnevertarry。
OfoolishCressid!Imighthavestillheldoff,Andthenyouwouldhavetarried。Hark!
there’soneup。PANDARUS[Within]What,’sallthedoorsopenhere?TROILUSItisyouruncle。CRESSIDAApestilenceonhim!nowwillhebemocking:
Ishallhavesuchalife!
EnterPANDARUSPANDARUSHownow,hownow!howgomaidenheads?
Here,youmaid!where’smycousinCressid?CRESSIDAGohangyourself,younaughtymockinguncle!
Youbringmetodo,andthenyoufloutmetoo。PANDARUSTodowhat?todowhat?lethersaywhat:whathaveIbroughtyoutodo?CRESSIDACome,come,beshrewyourheart!you’llne’erbegood,Norsufferothers。PANDARUSHa!ha!Alas,poorwretch!ah,poorcapocchia!
hastnotsleptto—night?wouldhenot,anaughtyman,letitsleep?abugbeartakehim!CRESSIDADidnotItellyou?Wouldhewereknock’di’thehead!
KnockingwithinWho’sthatatdoor?gooduncle,goandsee。
Mylord,comeyouagainintomychamber:
Yousmileandmockme,asifImeantnaughtily。TROILUSHa,ha!CRESSIDACome,youaredeceived,Ithinkofnosuchthing。
KnockingwithinHowearnestlytheyknock!Prayyou,comein:
IwouldnotforhalfTroyhaveyouseenhere。
ExeuntTROILUSandCRESSIDAPANDARUSWho’sthere?what’sthematter?willyoubeatdownthedoor?Hownow!what’sthematter?
EnterAENEASAENEASGoodmorrow,lord,goodmorrow。PANDARUSWho’sthere?myLordAEneas!Bymytroth,Iknewyounot:whatnewswithyousoearly?AENEASIsnotPrinceTroilushere?PANDARUSHere!whatshouldhedohere?AENEASCome,heishere,mylord;donotdenyhim:
Itdothimporthimmuchtospeakwithme。PANDARUSIshehere,sayyou?’tismorethanI
know,I’llbesworn:formyownpart,Icameinlate。Whatshouldhedohere?AENEASWho!——nay,then:come,come,you’lldohimwrongereyou’reware:you’llbesotruetohim,tobefalsetohim:donotyouknowofhim,butyetgofetchhimhither;go。
Re—enterTROILUSTROILUSHownow!what’sthematter?AENEASMylord,Iscarcehaveleisuretosaluteyou,Mymatterissorash:thereisathandParisyourbrother,andDeiphobus,TheGrecianDiomed,andourAntenorDeliver’dtous;andforhimforthwith,Erethefirstsacrifice,withinthishour,WemustgiveuptoDiomedes’handTheLadyCressida。TROILUSIsitsoconcluded?AENEASByPriamandthegeneralstateofTroy:
Theyareathandandreadytoeffectit。TROILUSHowmyachievementsmockme!
Iwillgomeetthem:and,myLordAEneas,Wemetbychance;youdidnotfindmehere。AENEASGood,good,mylord;thesecretsofnatureHavenotmoregiftintaciturnity。
ExeuntTROILUSandAENEASPANDARUSIs’tpossible?nosoonergotbutlost?
ThedeviltakeAntenor!theyoungprincewillgomad:aplagueuponAntenor!Iwouldtheyhadbroke’sneck!
Re—enterCRESSIDACRESSIDAHownow!what’sthematter?whowashere?PANDARUSAh,ah!CRESSIDAWhysighyousoprofoundly?where’smylord?gone!
Tellme,sweetuncle,what’sthematter?PANDARUSWouldIwereasdeepundertheearthasIamabove!CRESSIDAOthegods!what’sthematter?PANDARUSPrithee,gettheein:wouldthouhadstne’erbeenborn!Iknewthouwouldstbehisdeath。O,poorgentleman!AplagueuponAntenor!CRESSIDAGooduncle,Ibeseechyou,onmyknees!
beseechyou,what’sthematter?PANDARUSThoumustbegone,wench,thoumustbegone;thouartchangedforAntenor:thoumusttothyfather,andbegonefromTroilus:’twillbehisdeath;
’twillbehisbane;hecannotbearit。CRESSIDAOyouimmortalgods!Iwillnotgo。PANDARUSThoumust。CRESSIDAIwillnot,uncle:Ihaveforgotmyfather;
Iknownotouchofconsanguinity;
Nokinnolove,noblood,nosoulsonearmeAsthesweetTroilus。Oyougodsdivine!
MakeCressid’snametheverycrownoffalsehood,IfeversheleaveTroilus!Time,force,anddeath,Dotothisbodywhatextremesyoucan;
ButthestrongbaseandbuildingofmyloveIsastheverycentreoftheearth,Drawingallthingstoit。I’llgoinandweep,——PANDARUSDo,do。CRESSIDATearmybrighthairandscratchmypraisedcheeks,CrackmyclearvoicewithsobsandbreakmyheartWithsoundingTroilus。IwillnotgofromTroy。
ExeuntSCENEIII。Thesame。StreetbeforePandarus’house。EnterPARIS,TROILUS,AENEAS,DEIPHOBUS,ANTENOR,andDIOMEDESPARISItisgreatmorning,andthehourprefix’dOfherdeliverytothisvaliantGreekComesfastupon。GoodmybrotherTroilus,Tellyoutheladywhatsheistodo,Andhastehertothepurpose。TROILUSWalkintoherhouse;
I’llbringhertotheGrecianpresently:
AndtohishandwhenIdeliverher,Thinkitanaltar,andthybrotherTroilusApriestthereofferingtoithisownheart。
ExitPARISIknowwhat’tistolove;
Andwould,asIshallpity,Icouldhelp!
Pleaseyouwalkin,mylords。
ExeuntSCENEIV。Thesame。Pandarus’house。EnterPANDARUSandCRESSIDAPANDARUSBemoderate,bemoderate。CRESSIDAWhytellyoumeofmoderation?
Thegriefisfine,full,perfect,thatItaste,AndviolentethinasenseasstrongAsthatwhichcausethit:howcanImoderateit?
IfIcouldtemporizewithmyaffection,Orbrewittoaweakandcolderpalate,ThelikeallaymentcouldIgivemygrief。
Myloveadmitsnoqualifyingdross;
Nomoremygrief,insuchapreciousloss。PANDARUSHere,here,herehecomes。
EnterTROILUS
Ah,sweetducks!CRESSIDAOTroilus!Troilus!
EmbracinghimPANDARUSWhatapairofspectaclesishere!
Letmeembracetoo。’Oheart,’asthegoodlysayingis,’——Oheart,heavyheart,Whysigh’stthouwithoutbreaking?
whereheanswersagain,’BecausethoucanstnoteasethysmartByfriendshipnorbyspeaking。’
Therewasneveratruerrhyme。Letuscastawaynothing,forwemaylivetohaveneedofsuchaverse:weseeit,weseeit。Hownow,lambs?TROILUSCressid,Ilovetheeinsostrain’dapurity,Thatthebless’dgods,asangrywithmyfancy,MorebrightinzealthanthedevotionwhichColdlipsblowtotheirdeities,taketheefromme。CRESSIDAHavethegodsenvy?PANDARUSAy,ay,ay,ay;’tistooplainacase。CRESSIDAAndisittruethatImustgofromTroy?TROILUSAhatefultruth。CRESSIDAWhat,andfromTroilustoo?TROILUSFromTroyandTroilus。CRESSIDAIsitpossible?TROILUSAndsuddenly;whereinjuryofchancePutsbackleave—taking,justlesroughlybyAlltimeofpause,rudelybeguilesourlipsOfallrejoindure,forciblypreventsOurlock’dembrasures,stranglesourdearvowsEveninthebirthofourownlabouringbreath:
Wetwo,thatwithsomanythousandsighsDidbuyeachother,mustpoorlysellourselvesWiththerudebrevityanddischargeofone。
Injurioustimenowwitharobber’shasteCramshisrichthieveryup,heknowsnothow:
Asmanyfarewellsasbestarsinheaven,Withdistinctbreathandconsign’dkissestothem,Hefumblesupintoaloseadieu,Andscantsuswithasinglefamish’dkiss,Distastedwiththesaltofbrokentears。AENEAS[Within]Mylord,istheladyready?TROILUSHark!youarecall’d:somesaytheGeniussoCries’come’tohimthatinstantlymustdie。
Bidthemhavepatience;sheshallcomeanon。PANDARUSWherearemytears?rain,tolaythiswind,ormyheartwillbeblownupbytheroot。
ExitCRESSIDAImustthentotheGrecians?TROILUSNoremedy。CRESSIDAAwofulCressid’mongstthemerryGreeks!
Whenshallweseeagain?TROILUSHearme,mylove:bethoubuttrueofheart,——CRESSIDAItrue!hownow!whatwickeddeemisthis?TROILUSNay,wemustuseexpostulationkindly,Foritispartingfromus:
Ispeaknot’bethoutrue,’asfearingthee,ForIwillthrowmyglovetoDeathhimself,Thatthere’snomaculationinthyheart:
But’bethoutrue,’sayI,tofashioninMysequentprotestation;bethoutrue,AndIwillseethee。CRESSIDAO,youshallbeexposed,mylord,todangersAsinfiniteasimminent!butI’llbetrue。TROILUSAndI’llgrowfriendwithdanger。Wearthissleeve。CRESSIDAAndyouthisglove。WhenshallIseeyou?TROILUSIwillcorrupttheGreciansentinels,Togivetheenightlyvisitation。
Butyetbetrue。CRESSIDAOheavens!’betrue’again!TROILUSHearwhileIspeakit,love:
TheGrecianyouthsarefullofquality;
They’reloving,wellcomposedwithgiftsofnature,Flowingandswellingo’erwithartsandexercise:
Hownoveltymaymove,andpartswithperson,Alas,akindofgodlyjealousy——
Which,Ibeseechyou,callavirtuoussin——
Makesmeafeard。CRESSIDAOheavens!youlovemenot。TROILUSDieIavillain,then!
InthisIdonotcallyourfaithinquestionSomainlyasmymerit:Icannotsing,Norheelthehighlavolt,norsweetentalk,Norplayatsubtlegames;fairvirtuesall,TowhichtheGreciansaremostpromptandpregnant:
ButIcantellthatineachgraceoftheseTherelurksastillanddumb—discoursivedevilThattemptsmostcunningly:butbenottempted。CRESSIDADoyouthinkIwill?TROILUSNo。
Butsomethingmaybedonethatwewillnot:
Andsometimeswearedevilstoourselves,Whenwewilltemptthefrailtyofourpowers,Presumingontheirchangefulpotency。AENEAS[Within]Nay,goodmylord,——TROILUSCome,kiss;andletuspart。PARIS[Within]BrotherTroilus!TROILUSGoodbrother,comeyouhither;
AndbringAEneasandtheGrecianwithyou。CRESSIDAMylord,willyoubetrue?TROILUSWho,I?alas,itismyvice,myfault:
Whilesothersfishwithcraftforgreatopinion,Iwithgreattruthcatchmeresimplicity;
Whilstsomewithcunninggildtheircoppercrowns,WithtruthandplainnessIdowearminebare。
Fearnotmytruth:themoralofmywitIs’plainandtrue;’there’sallthereachofit。
EnterAENEAS,PARIS,ANTENOR,DEIPHOBUS,andDIOMEDES
Welcome,SirDiomed!hereistheladyWhichforAntenorwedeliveryou:
Attheport,lord,I’llgivehertothyhand,Andbythewaypossesstheewhatsheis。
Entreatherfair;and,bymysoul,fairGreek,Ife’erthoustandatmercyofmysword,NameCressidaandthylifeshallbeassafeAsPriamisinIlion。DIOMEDESFairLadyCressid,Sopleaseyou,savethethanksthisprinceexpects:
Thelustreinyoureye,heaveninyourcheek,Pleadsyourfairusage;andtoDiomedYoushallbemistress,andcommandhimwholly。TROILUSGrecian,thoudostnotusemecourteously,ToshamethezealofmypetitiontotheeInpraisingher:Itellthee,lordofGreece,Sheisasfarhigh—soaringo’erthypraisesAsthouunworthytobecall’dherservant。
Ichargetheeuseherwell,evenformycharge;
For,bythedreadfulPluto,ifthoudostnot,ThoughthegreatbulkAchillesbethyguard,I’llcutthythroat。DIOMEDESO,benotmoved,PrinceTroilus:
Letmebeprivilegedbymyplaceandmessage,Tobeaspeakerfree;whenIamhenceI’llanswertomylust:andknowyou,lord,I’llnothingdooncharge:toherownworthSheshallbeprized;butthatyousay’be’tso,’
I’llspeakitinmyspiritandhonour,’no。’TROILUSCome,totheport。I’lltellthee,Diomed,Thisbraveshalloftmaketheetohidethyhead。
Lady,givemeyourhand,and,aswewalk,Toourownselvesbendweourneedfultalk。
ExeuntTROILUS,CRESSIDA,andDIOMEDES
TrumpetwithinPARISHark!Hector’strumpet。AENEASHowhavewespentthismorning!
Theprincemustthinkmetardyandremiss,Thatsoretoridebeforehimtothefield。PARIS’TisTroilus’fault:come,come,tofieldwithhim。DEIPHOBUSLetusmakereadystraight。AENEASYea,withabridegroom’sfreshalacrity,LetusaddresstotendonHector’sheels:
ThegloryofourTroydoththisdaylieOnhisfairworthandsinglechivalry。
ExeuntSCENEV。TheGreciancamp。Listssetout。EnterAJAX,armed;AGAMEMNON,ACHILLES,PATROCLUS,MENELAUS,ULYSSES,NESTOR,andothersAGAMEMNONHereartthouinappointmentfreshandfair,Anticipatingtimewithstartingcourage。
GivewiththytrumpetaloudnotetoTroy,ThoudreadfulAjax;thattheappalledairMaypiercetheheadofthegreatcombatantAndhalehimhither。AJAXThou,trumpet,there’smypurse。
Nowcrackthylungs,andsplitthybrazenpipe:
Blow,villain,tillthyspheredbiascheekOutswellthecolicofpuff’dAquilon:
Come,stretchthychestandletthyeyesspoutblood;
Thoublow’stforHector。
TrumpetsoundsULYSSESNotrumpetanswers。ACHILLES’Tisbutearlydays。AGAMEMNONIsnotyondDiomed,withCalchas’daughter?ULYSSES’Tishe,Ikenthemannerofhisgait;
Herisesonthetoe:thatspiritofhisInaspirationliftshimfromtheearth。
EnterDIOMEDES,withCRESSIDAAGAMEMNONIsthistheLadyCressid?DIOMEDESEvenshe。AGAMEMNONMostdearlywelcometotheGreeks,sweetlady。NESTOROurgeneraldothsaluteyouwithakiss。ULYSSESYetisthekindnessbutparticular;
’Twerebettershewerekiss’dingeneral。NESTORAndverycourtlycounsel:I’llbegin。
SomuchforNestor。ACHILLESI’lltakewhatwinterfromyourlips,fairlady:
Achillesbidsyouwelcome。MENELAUSIhadgoodargumentforkissingonce。PATROCLUSButthat’snoargumentforkissingnow;
Forthispopp’dParisinhishardiment,Andpartedthusyouandyourargument。ULYSSESOdeadlygall,andthemeofallourscorns!
Forwhichweloseourheadstogildhishorns。PATROCLUSThefirstwasMenelaus’kiss;this,mine:
Patrocluskissesyou。MENELAUSO,thisistrim!PATROCLUSParisandIkissevermoreforhim。MENELAUSI’llhavemykiss,sir。Lady,byyourleave。CRESSIDAInkissing,doyourenderorreceive?PATROCLUSBothtakeandgive。CRESSIDAI’llmakemymatchtolive,Thekissyoutakeisbetterthanyougive;
Thereforenokiss。MENELAUSI’llgiveyouboot,I’llgiveyouthreeforone。CRESSIDAYou’reanoddman;giveevenorgivenone。MENELAUSAnoddman,lady!everymanisodd。CRESSIDANo,Parisisnot;foryouknow’tistrue,Thatyouareodd,andheisevenwithyou。MENELAUSYoufillipmeo’thehead。CRESSIDANo,I’llbesworn。ULYSSESItwerenomatch,yournailagainsthishorn。
MayI,sweetlady,begakissofyou?CRESSIDAYoumay。ULYSSESIdodesireit。CRESSIDAWhy,beg,then。ULYSSESWhythenforVenus’sake,givemeakiss,WhenHelenisamaidagain,andhis。CRESSIDAIamyourdebtor,claimitwhen’tisdue。ULYSSESNever’smyday,andthenakissofyou。DIOMEDESLady,aword:I’llbringyoutoyourfather。
ExitwithCRESSIDANESTORAwomanofquicksense。ULYSSESFie,fieuponher!
There’slanguageinhereye,hercheek,herlip,Nay,herfootspeaks;herwantonspiritslookoutAteveryjointandmotiveofherbody。
O,theseencounterers,sogliboftongue,Thatgiveaccostingwelcomeereitcomes,AndwideunclaspthetablesoftheirthoughtsToeveryticklishreader!setthemdownForsluttishspoilsofopportunityAnddaughtersofthegame。
TrumpetwithinALLTheTrojans’trumpet。AGAMEMNONYondercomesthetroop。
EnterHECTOR,armed;AENEAS,TROILUS,andotherTrojans,withAttendantsAENEASHail,allyoustateofGreece!whatshallbedoneTohimthatvictorycommands?ordoyoupurposeAvictorshallbeknown?willyoutheknightsShalltotheedgeofallextremityPursueeachother,orshallbedividedByanyvoiceororderofthefield?
Hectorbadeask。AGAMEMNONWhichwaywouldHectorhaveit?AENEASHecaresnot;he’llobeyconditions。ACHILLES’TisdonelikeHector;butsecurelydone,Alittleproudly,andgreatdealmisprizingTheknightopposed。AENEASIfnotAchilles,sir,Whatisyourname?ACHILLESIfnotAchilles,nothing。AENEASThereforeAchilles:but,whate’er,knowthis:
Intheextremityofgreatandlittle,ValourandprideexcelthemselvesinHector;
Theonealmostasinfiniteasall,Theotherblankasnothing。Weighhimwell,Andthatwhichlookslikeprideiscourtesy。
ThisAjaxishalfmadeofHector’sblood:
Inlovewhereof,halfHectorstaysathome;
Halfheart,halfhand,halfHectorcomestoseekThisblendedknight,halfTrojanandhalfGreek。ACHILLESAmaidenbattle,then?O,Iperceiveyou。
Re—enterDIOMEDESAGAMEMNONHereisSirDiomed。Go,gentleknight,StandbyourAjax:asyouandLordAEneasConsentupontheorderoftheirfight,Sobeit;eithertotheuttermost,Orelseabreath:thecombatantsbeingkinHalfstintstheirstrifebeforetheirstrokesbegin。