PRELUDE
　　IthappenedthattheundersignedspentthelastChristmasseasoninaforeigncitywherethereweremanyEnglishchildren。
　　Inthatcity，ifyouwantedtogiveachild’sparty，youcouldnotevengetamagic—lanternorbuyTwelfth—Nightcharacters——thosefunnypaintedpicturesoftheKing，theQueen，theLover，theLady，theDandy，theCaptain，andsoon——withwhichouryoungonesarewonttorecreatethemselvesatthisfestivetime。
　　MyfriendMissBunch，whowasgovernessofalargefamilythatlivedinthePianoNobileofthehouseinhabitedbymyselfandmyyoungcharges（itwasthePalazzoPoniatowskiatRome，andMessrs。Spillmann，twoofthebestpastrycooksinChristendom，havetheirshoponthegroundfloor）：MissBunch，Isay，beggedmetodrawasetofTwelfth—Nightcharactersfortheamusementofouryoungpeople。
　　Sheisaladyofgreatfancyanddrollimagination，andhavinglookedatthecharacters，sheandIcomposedahistoryaboutthem，whichwasrecitedtothelittlefolksatnight，andservedasourFIRESIDEPANTOMIME。
　　OurjuvenileaudiencewasamusedbytheadventuresofGiglioandBulbo，RosalbaandAngelica。IamboundtosaythefateoftheHallPortercreatedaconsiderablesensation；andthewrathofCountessGruffanuffwasreceivedwithextremepleasure。
　　Ifthesechildrenarepleased，thoughtI，whyshouldnotothersbeamusedalso？InafewdaysDr。Birch’syoungfriendswillbeexpectedtoreassembleatRodwellRegis，wheretheywilllearneverythingthatisuseful，andundertheeyesofcarefulusherscontinuethebusinessoftheirlittlelives。
　　But，inthemeanwhile，andforabriefholiday，letuslaughandbeaspleasantaswecan。Andyouelderfolk——alittlejoking，anddancing，andfoolingwilldoevenyounoharm。TheauthorwishesyouamerryChristmas，andwelcomesyoutotheFiresidePantomime。
　　W。M。THACKERAY。December1854。
　　CONTENTS
　　I。SHOWSHOWTHEROYALFAMILYSATEDOWNTOBREAKFAST
　　II。HOWKINGVALOROSOGOTTHECROWN，ANDPRINCEGIGLIOWENT
　　WITHOUT
　　III。TELLSWHOTHEFAIRYBLACKSTICKWAS，ANDWHOWEREEVERSO
　　MANYGRANDPERSONAGESBESIDES
　　IV。HOWBLACKSTICKWASNOTASKEDTOTHEPRINCESSANGELICA’S
　　CHRISTENING
　　V。HOWPRINCESSANGELICATOOKALITTLEMAID
　　VI。HOWPRINCEGIGLIOBEHAVEDHIMSELF
　　VII。HOWGIGLIOANDANGELICAHADAQUARREL
　　VIII。HOWGRUFFANUFFPICKEDTHEFAIRYRINGUP，ANDPRINCEBULBO
　　CAMETOCOURT
　　IX。HOWBETSINDAGOTTHEWARMING—PAN
　　X。HOWKINGVALOROSOWASINADREADFULPASSION
　　XI。WHATGRUFFANUFFDIDTOGIGLIOANDBETSINDA
　　XII。HOWBETSINDAFLED，ANDWHATBECAMEOFHER
　　XIII。HOWQUEENROSALBACAMETOTHECASTLEOFTHEBOLDCOUNT
　　HOGGINARMO
　　XIV。WHATBECAMEOFGIGLIO
　　XV。WERETURNTOROSALBA
　　XVI。HOWHEDZOFFRODEBACKAGAINTOKINGGIGLIO
　　XVII。HOWATREMENDOUSBATTLETOOKPLACE，ANDWHOWONIT
　　XVIII。HOWTHEYALLJOURNEYEDBACKTOTHECAPITAL
　　XIX。ANDNOWWECOMETOTHELASTSCENEINTHEPANTOMIME
　　THEROSEANDTHERING
　　I。SHOWSHOWTHEROYALFAMILYSATEDOWNTOBREAKFAST
　　ThisisValorosoXXIV。，KingofPaflagonia，seatedwithhisQueenandonlychildattheirroyalbreakfast—table，andreceivingtheletterwhichannouncestoHisMajestyaproposedvisitfromPrinceBulbo，heirofPadella，reigningKingofCrimTartary。
　　Remarkthedelightuponthemonarch’sroyalfeatures。HeissoabsorbedintheperusaloftheKingofCrimTartary’sletter，thatheallowshiseggstogetcold，andleaveshisaugustmuffinsuntasted。
　　’What!thatwicked，brave，delightfulPrinceBulbo!’criesPrincessAngelica；’sohandsome，soaccomplished，sowitty——theconquerorofRimbombamento，whereheslewtenthousandgiants!’
　　’Whotoldyouofhim，mydear？’asksHisMajesty。
　　’Alittlebird，’saysAngelica。
　　’PoorGiglio!’saysmamma，pouringoutthetea。
　　’BotherGiglio!’criesAngelica，tossingupherhead，whichrustledwithathousandcurl—papers。
　　’Iwish，’growlstheKing——’IwishGigliowas……’
　　’Wasbetter？Yes，dear，heisbetter，’saystheQueen。
　　’Angelica’slittlemaid，Betsinda，toldmesowhenshecametomyroomthismorningwithmyearlytea。’
　　’Youarealwaysdrinkingtea，’saidthemonarch，withascowl。
　　’Itisbetterthandrinkingportorbrandyandwater；’repliesHerMajesty。
　　’Well，well，mydear，Ionlysaidyouwerefondofdrinkingtea，’
　　saidtheKingofPaflagonia，withaneffortasiftocommandhistemper。’Angelica!Ihopeyouhaveplentyofnewdresses；yourmilliners’billsarelongenough。MydearQueen，youmustseeandhavesomeparties。Ipreferdinners，butofcourseyouwillbeforballs。Youreverlastingbluevelvetquitetiresme：and，mylove，Ishouldlikeyoutohaveanewnecklace。Orderone。
　　Notmorethanahundredorahundredandfiftythousandpounds。’
　　’AndGiglio，dear？’saystheQueen。
　　’GIGLIOMAYGOTOTHE——’
　　’Oh，sir，’screamsHerMajesty。’Yourownnephew!ourlateKing’sonlyson。’
　　’Gigliomaygotothetailor’s，andorderthebillstobesentintoGlumbosotopay。Confoundhim!Imeanblesshisdearheart。
　　Heneedwantfornothing；givehimacoupleofguineasforpocket—money，mydear；andyoumayaswellorderyourselfbraceletswhileyouareaboutthenecklace，Mrs。V。’
　　HerMajesty，orMRS。V。，asthemonarchfacetiouslycalledher（forevenroyaltywillhaveitssport，andthisaugustfamilywereverymuchattached），embracedherhusband，and，twiningherarmroundherdaughter’swaist，theyquittedthebreakfast—roominordertomakeallthingsreadyfortheprincelystranger。
　　Whentheyweregone，thesmilethathadlighteduptheeyesoftheHUSBANDandFATHERfled——theprideoftheKINGfled——theMAN
　　wasalone。HadIthepenofaG。P。R。James，IwoulddescribeValoroso’stormentsinthechoicestlanguage；inwhichIwouldalsodepicthisflashingeye，hisdistendednostril——hisdressing—gown，pocket—handkerchief，andboots。ButIneednotsayIhaveNOTthepenofthatnovelist；sufficeittosay，Valorosowasalone。
　　Herushedtothecupboard，seizingfromthetableoneofthemanyegg—cupswithwhichhisprincelyboardwasservedforthematinmeal，drewoutabottleofrightNantzorCognac，filledandemptiedthecupseveraltimes，andlaiditdownwithahoarse’Ha，ha，ha!nowValorosoisamanagain!’
　　’Butoh!’hewenton（stillsipping，Iamsorrytosay），’ereI
　　wasaking，Ineedednotthisintoxicatingdraught；onceI
　　detestedthehotbrandywine，andquaffednootherfountbutnature’srill。Itdashesnotmorequicklyo’ertherocksthanI
　　did，as，withblunderbussinhand，Ibrushedawaytheearlymorningdew，andshotthepartridge，snipe，orantlereddeer!
　　Ah!wellmayEngland’sdramatistremark，"Uneasyliestheheadthatwearsacrown!"WhydidIstealmynephew’s，myyoungGiglio’s——？Steal!saidI？no，no，no，notsteal，notsteal。
　　Letmewithdrawthatodiousexpression。Itook，andonmymanlyheadIset，theroyalcrownofPaflagonia；Itook，andwithmyroyalarmIwield，thesceptralrodofPaflagonia；Itook，andinmyoutstretchedhandIhold，theroyalorbofPaflagonia!Couldapoorboy，asnivelling，drivellingboy——wasinhisnurse’sarmsbutyesterday，andcriedforsugarplumsandpuledforpap——bearuptheawfulweightofcrown，orb，sceptre？girdontheswordmyroyalfatherswore，andmeetinfightthetoughCrimeanfoe？’
　　Andthenthemonarchwentontoargueinhisownmind（thoughweneednotsaythatblankverseisnotargument）thatwhathehadgotitwashisdutytokeep，andthat，ifatonetimehehadentertainedideasofacertainrestitution，whichshallbenameless，theprospectbyaCERTAINMARRIAGEofunitingtwocrownsandtwonationswhichhadbeenengagedinbloodyandexpensivewars，asthePaflagoniansandtheCrimeanshadbeen，puttheideaofGiglio’srestorationtothethroneoutofthequestion：nay，werehisownbrother，KingSavio，alive，hewouldcertainlywillthecrownfromhisownsoninordertobringaboutsuchadesirableunion。
　　Thuseasilydowedeceiveourselves!Thusdowefancywhatwewishisright!TheKingtookcourage，readthepapers，finishedhismuffinsandeggs，andrangthebellforhisPrimeMinister。
　　TheQueen，afterthinkingwhethersheshouldgoupandseeGiglio，whohadbeensick，thought’Notnow。Businessfirst；
　　pleasureafterwards。IwillgoandseedearGigliothisafternoon；andnowIwilldrivetothejeweller’s，tolookforthenecklaceandbracelets。’ThePrincesswentupintoherownroom，andmadeBetsinda，hermaid，bringoutallherdresses；andasforGiglio，theyforgothimasmuchasIforgetwhatIhadfordinnerlastTuesdaytwelve—month。
　　II。HOWKINGVALOROSOGOTTHECROWN，ANDPRINCEGIGLIOWENT
　　WITHOUT
　　Paflagonia，tenortwentythousandyearsago，appearstohavebeenoneofthosekingdomswherethelawsofsuccessionwerenotsettled；forwhenKingSaviodied，leavinghisbrotherRegentofthekingdom，andguardianofSavio’sorphaninfant，thisunfaithfulregenttooknosortofregardofthelatemonarch’swill；hadhimselfproclaimedsovereignofPaflagoniaunderthetitleofKingValorosoXXIV。，hadamostsplendidcoronation，andorderedallthenoblesofthekingdomtopayhimhomage。SolongasValorosogavethemplentyofballsatCourt，plentyofmoneyandlucrativeplaces，thePaflagoniannobilitydidnotcarewhowasking；andasforthepeople，inthoseearlytimes，theywereequallyindifferent。ThePrinceGiglio，byreasonofhistenderageathisroyalfather’sdeath，didnotfeelthelossofhiscrownandempire。Aslongashehadplentyoftoysandsweetmeats，aholidayfivetimesaweekandahorseandguntogooutshootingwhenhegrewalittleolder，and，aboveall，thecompanyofhisdarlingcousin，theKing’sonlychild，poorGigliowasperfectlycontented；nordidheenvyhisuncletheroyalrobesandsceptre，thegreathotuncomfortablethroneofstate，andtheenormouscumbersomecrowninwhichthatmonarchappearedfrommorningtillnight。KingValoroso’sportraithasbeenlefttous；andIthinkyouwillagreewithmethathemusthavebeensometimesRATHERTIREDofhisvelvet，andhisdiamonds，andhisermine，andhisgrandeur。Ishouldn’tliketositinthatstiflingrobewithsuchathingasthatonmyhead。
　　Nodoubt，theQueenmusthavebeenlovelyinheryouth；forthoughshegrewratherstoutinafterlife，yetherfeatures，asshowninherportrait，arecertainlyPLEASING。Ifshewasfondofflattery，scandal，cards，andfineclothes，letusdealgentlywithherinfirmities，which，afterall，maybenogreaterthanourown。Shewaskindtohernephew；andifshehadanyscruplesofconscienceaboutherhusband’stakingtheyoungPrince’scrown，consoledherselfbythinkingthattheKing，thoughausurper，wasamostrespectableman，andthatathisdeathPrinceGigliowouldberestoredtohisthrone，andshareitwithhiscousin，whomhelovedsofondly。
　　ThePrimeMinisterwasGlumboso，anoldstatesman，whomostcheerfullysworefidelitytoKingValoroso，andinwhosehandsthemonarchleftalltheaffairsofhiskingdom。AllValorosowantedwasplentyofmoney，plentyofhunting，plentyofflattery，andaslittletroubleaspossible。Aslongashehadhissport，thismonarchcaredlittlehowhispeoplepaidforit：
　　heengagedinsomewars，andofcoursethePaflagoniannewspapersannouncedthathehadgainedprodigiousvictories：hehadstatueserectedtohimselfineverycityoftheempire；andofcoursehispicturesplacedeverywhere，andinalltheprint—shops：hewasValorosotheMagnanimous，ValorosotheVictorious，ValorosotheGreat，andsoforth；——forevenintheseearlytimescourtiersandpeopleknewhowtoflatter。
　　Thisroyalpairhadoneonlychild，thePrincessAngelica，who，youmaybesure，wasaparagoninthecourtiers’eyes，inherparents’，andinherown。Itwassaidshehadthelongesthair，thelargesteyes，theslimmestwaist，thesmallestfoot，andthemostlovelycomplexionofanyyoungladyinthePaflagoniandominions。Heraccomplishmentswereannouncedtobeevensuperiortoherbeauty；andgovernessesusedtoshametheiridlepupilsbytellingthemwhatPrincessAngelicacoulddo。Shecouldplaythemostdifficultpiecesofmusicatsight。ShecouldansweranyoneofMangnall’sQuestions。ShekneweverydateinthehistoryofPaflagonia，andeveryothercountry。SheknewFrench，English，Italian，German，Spanish，Hebrew，Greek，Latin，Cappadocian，Samothracian，Aegean，andCrimTartar。Inaword，shewasamostaccomplishedyoungcreature；andhergovernessandlady—in—waitingwasthesevereCountessGruffanuff。
　　Wouldyounotfancy，fromthispicture，thatGruffanuffmusthavebeenapersonofhighestbirth？ShelookssohaughtythatI
　　shouldhavethoughtheraprincessattheveryleast，withapedigreereachingasfarbackastheDeluge。Butthisladywasnobetterbornthanmanyotherladieswhogivethemselvesairs；
　　andallsensiblepeoplelaughedatherabsurdpretensions。Thefactis，shehadbeenmaid—servanttotheQueenwhenHerMajestywasonlyPrincess，andherhusbandhadbeenheadfootman；butafterhisdeathorDISAPPEARANCE，ofwhichyoushallhearpresently，thisMrs。Gruffanuff，byflattering，toadying，andwheedlingherroyalmistress，becameafavouritewiththeQueen（whowasratheraweakwoman），andHerMajestygaveheratitle，andmadehernurserygovernesstothePrincess。
　　AndnowImusttellyouaboutthePrincess’slearningandaccomplishments，forwhichshehadsuchawonderfulcharacter。
　　CleverAngelicacertainlywas，butasIDLEasPOSSIBLE。Playatsight，indeed!shecouldplayoneortwopieces，andpretendthatshehadneverseenthembefore；shecouldanswerhalfadozenMangnall’sQuestions；butthenyoumusttakecaretoasktheRIGHTones。Asforherlanguages，shehadmastersinplenty，butIdoubtwhethersheknewmorethanafewphrasesineach，forallherpresence；andasforherembroideryandherdrawing，sheshowedbeautifulspecimens，itistrue，butWHODIDTHEM？
　　Thisobligesmetotellthetruth，andtodosoImustgobackeversofar，andtellyouabouttheFAIRYBLACKSTICK。
　　III。TELLSWHOTHEFAIRYBLACKSTICKWAS，ANDWHOWEREEVERSO
　　MANYGRANDPERSONAGESBESIDES
　　BetweenthekingdomsofPaflagoniaandCrimTartary，therelivedamysteriouspersonage，whowasknowninthosecountriesastheFairyBlackstick，fromtheebonywandorcrutchwhichshecarried；onwhichsherodetothemoonsometimes，oruponotherexcursionsofbusinessorpleasure，andwithwhichsheperformedherwonders。
　　Whenshewasyoung，andhadbeenfirsttaughttheartofconjuringbythenecromancer，herfather，shewasalwayspracticingherskill，whizzingaboutfromonekingdomtoanotheruponherblackstick，andconferringherfairyfavoursuponthisPrinceorthat。Shehadscoresofroyalgodchildren；turnednumberlesswickedpeopleintobeasts，birds，millstones，clocks，pumps，bootjacks，umbrellas，orotherabsurdshapes；and，inaword，wasoneofthemostactiveandofficiousofthewholeCollegeoffairies。
　　Butaftertwoorthreethousandyearsofthissport，IsupposeBlackstickgrewtiredofit。Orperhapsshethought，’WhatgoodamIdoingbysendingthisPrincesstosleepforahundredyears？
　　byfixingablackpuddingontothatbooby’snose？bycausingdiamondsandpearlstodropfromonelittlegirl’smouth，andvipersandtoadsfromanother’s？IbegintothinkIdoasmuchharmasgoodbymyperformances。Imightaswellshutmyincantationsup，andallowthingstotaketheirnaturalcourse。
　　’Thereweremytwoyounggoddaughters，KingSavio’swife，andDukePadella’swife，Igavethemeachapresent，whichwastorenderthemcharmingintheeyesoftheirhusbands，andsecuretheaffectionofthosegentlemenaslongastheylived。WhatgooddidmyRoseandmyRingdothesetwowomen？Noneonearth。
　　Fromhavingalltheirwhimsindulgedbytheirhusbands，theybecamecapricious，lazy，ill—humoured，absurdlyvain，andleeredandlanguished，andfanciedthemselvesirresistiblybeautiful，whentheywerereallyquiteoldandhideous，theridiculouscreatures!TheyusedactuallytopatronisemewhenIwenttopaythemavisit——ME，theFairyBlackstick，whoknowsallthewisdomofthenecromancers，andcouldhaveturnedthemintobaboons，andalltheirdiamondsintostringsofonions，byasinglewaveofmyrod!’Soshelockedupherbooksinhercupboard，declinedfurthermagicalperformances，andscarcelyusedherwandatallexceptasacanetowalkaboutwith。
　　SowhenDukePadella’sladyhadalittleson（theDukewasatthattimeonlyoneoftheprincipalnoblemeninCrimTartary），Blackstick，althoughinvitedtothechristening，wouldnotsomuchasattend；butmerelysenthercomplimentsandasilverpapboatforthebaby，whichwasreallynotworthacoupleofguineas。AboutthesametimetheQueenofPaflagoniapresentedHisMajestywithasonandheir；andgunswerefired，thecapitalilluminated，andnoendoffeastsordainedtocelebratetheyoungPrince’sbirth。Itwasthoughtthefairy，whowasaskedtobehisgodmother，wouldatleasthavepresentedhimwithaninvisiblejacket，aflyinghorse，aFortunatus’spurse，orsomeothervaluabletokenofherfavour；butinstead，BlackstickwentuptothecradleofthechildGiglio，wheneverybodywasadmiringhimandcomplimentinghisroyalpapaandmamma，andsaid，’Mypoorchild，thebestthingIcansendyouisalittleMISFORTUNE’；andthiswasallshewouldutter，tothedisgustofGiglio’sparents，whodiedverysoonafter，whenGiglio’suncletookthethrone，aswereadinChapterI。
　　Inlikemanner，whenCAVOLFIORE，KingofCrimTartary，hadachristeningofhisonlychild，ROSALBA，theFairyBlackstick，whohadbeeninvited，wasnotmoregraciousthaninPrinceGiglio’scase。Whilsteverybodywasexpatiatingoverthebeautyofthedarlingchild，andcongratulatingitsparents，theFairyBlacksticklookedverysadlyatthebabyanditsmother，andsaid，’Mygoodwoman（fortheFairywasveryfamiliar，andnomoremindedaQueenthanawasherwoman）——mygoodwoman，thesepeoplewhoarefollowingyouwillbethefirsttoturnagainstyou；andasforthislittlelady，thebestthingIcanwishherisaLITTLEMISFORTUNE。’SoshetouchedRosalbawithherblackwand，lookedseverelyatthecourtiers，motionedtheQueenanadieuwithherhand，andsailedslowlyupintotheairoutofthewindow。
　　Whenshewasgone，theCourtpeople，whohadbeenawedandsilentinherpresence，begantospeak。’WhatanodiousFairysheis（theysaid）——aprettyFairy，indeed!Why，shewenttotheKingofPaflagonia’schristening，andpretendedtodoallsortsofthingsforthatfamily；andwhathashappened——thePrince，hergodson，hasbeenturnedoffhisthronebyhisuncle。WouldweallowoursweetPrincesstobedeprivedofherrightsbyanyenemy？Never，never，never，never!’
　　Andtheyallshoutedinachorus，’Never，never，never，never!’
　　Now，Ishouldliketoknow，andhowdidthesefinecourtiersshowtheirfidelity？OneofKingCavolfiore’svassals，theDukePadellajustmentioned，rebelledagainsttheKing，whowentouttochastisehisrebellioussubject。’AnyonerebelagainstourbelovedandaugustMonarch!’criedthecourtiers；’anyoneresistHIM？Pooh!Heisinvincible，irresistible。HewillbringhomePadellaaprisoner，andtiehimtoadonkey’stail，anddrivehimroundthetown，saying，"ThisisthewaytheGreatCavolfioretreatsrebels。"’
　　TheKingwentforthtovanquishPadella；andthepoorQueen，whowasaverytimid，anxiouscreature，grewsofrightenedandillthatIamsorrytosayshedied；leavinginjunctionswithherladiestotakecareofthedearlittleRosalba。——Ofcoursetheysaidtheywould。OfcoursetheyvowedtheywoulddieratherthananyharmshouldhappentothePrincess。AtfirsttheCrimTartarCourtJournalstatedthattheKingwasobtaininggreatvictoriesovertheaudaciousrebel：thenitwasannouncedthatthetroopsoftheinfamousPadellawereinflight：thenitwassaidthattheroyalarmywouldsooncomeupwiththeenemy，andthen——thenthenewscamethatKingCavolfiorewasvanquishedandslainbyHisMajesty，KingPadellatheFirst!
　　Atthisnews，halfthecourtiersranofftopaytheirdutytotheconqueringchief，andtheotherhalfranaway，layinghandsonallthebestarticlesinthepalace；andpoorlittleRosalbawaslefttherequitealone——quitealone；andshetoddledfromoneroomtoanother，crying，’Countess!Duchess!’（Onlyshesaid’Tountess，Duttess，’notbeingabletospeakplain）’bringmemymuttonsop；myRoyalHighnesshungy!Tountess!Duttess!’Andshewentfromtheprivateapartmentsintothethrone—roomandnobodywasthere；——andthenceintotheballroomandnobodywasthere；——andthenceintothepages’roomandnobodywasthere；
　　——andshetoddleddownthegreatstaircaseintothehallandnobodywasthere；——andthedoorwasopen，andshewentintothecourt，andintothegarden，andthenceintothewilderness，andthenceintotheforestwherethewildbeastslive，andwasneverheardofanymore!
　　Apieceofhertornmantleandoneofhershoeswerefoundinthewoodinthemouthsoftwolionesses’cubswhomKINGPADELLAandaroyalhuntingpartyshot——forhewasKingnow，andreignedoverCrimTartary。’SothepoorlittlePrincessisdonefor，’saidhe；’well，what’sdonecan’tbehelped。Gentlemen，letusgotoluncheon!’Andoneofthecourtierstookuptheshoeandputitinhispocket。AndtherewasanendofRosalba!
　　IV。HOWBLACKSTICKWASNOTASKEDTOTHEPRINCESSANGELICA’S
　　CHRISTENING
　　WhenthePrincessAngelicawasborn，herparentsnotonlydidnotasktheFairyBlacksticktothechristeningparty，butgaveorderstotheirporterabsolutelytorefuseherifshecalled。
　　Thisporter’snamewasGruffanuff，andhehadbeenselectedforthepostbytheirRoyalHighnessesbecausehewasaverytallfierceman，whocouldsay’Notathome’toatradesmanoranunwelcomevisitorwitharudenesswhichfrightenedmostsuchpersonsaway。HewasthehusbandofthatCountesswhosepicturewehavejustseen，andaslongastheyweretogethertheyquarrelledfrommorningtillnight。Nowthisfellowtriedhisrudenessoncetoooften，asyoushallhear。FortheFairyBlackstickcomingtocalluponthePrinceandPrincess，whowereactuallysittingattheopendrawing—roomwindow，Gruffanuffnotonlydeniedthem，butmadethemostODIOUSVULGARSIGNashewasgoingtoslamthedoorintheFairy’sface!’Gitaway，holdBlackstick!’saidhe。’Itellyou，MasterandMissisain’tathometoyou；’andhewas，aswehavesaid，GOINGtoslamthedoor。
　　ButtheFairy，withherwand，preventedthedoorbeingshut；andGruffanuffcameoutagaininafury，swearinginthemostabominableway，andaskingtheFairy’whethershethoughthewasagoingtostayatthattheredoorhallday？’
　　’YouAREgoingtostayatthatdooralldayandallnight，andformanyalongyear，’theFairysaid，verymajestically；andGruffanuff，comingoutofthedoor，straddlingbeforeitwithhisgreatcalves，burstoutlaughing，andcried，’Ha，ha，ha!thisisagoodun!Ha——ah——what’sthis？Letmedown——O——o——H’m!’andthenhewasdumb!
　　For，astheFairywavedherwandoverhim，hefelthimselfrisingofftheground，andflutteringupagainstthedoor，andthen，asifascrewranintohisstomach，hefeltadreadfulpainthere，andwaspinnedtothedoor；andthenhisarmsflewupoverhishead；andhislegs，afterwrithingaboutwildly，twistedunderhisbody；andhefeltcold，cold，growingoverhim，asifhewasturningintometal；andhesaid，’O——o——H’m!’andcouldsaynomore，becausehewasdumb。
　　HeWASturnedintometal!Hewas，frombeingBRAZEN，BRASS!Hewasneithermorenorlessthanaknocker!Andtherehewas，nailedtothedoorintheblazingsummerday，tillheburnedalmostred—hot；andtherehewas，nailedtothedoorallthebitterwinternights，tillhisbrassnosewasdroppingwithicicles。Andthepostmancameandrappedathim，andthevulgarestboywithalettercameandhithimupagainstthedoor。
　　AndtheKingandQueen（PrincessandPrincetheywerethen）
　　cominghomefromawalkthatevening，theKingsaid，’Hullo，mydear!youhavehadanewknockerputonthedoor。Why，it’sratherlikeourporterintheface!Whathasbecomeofthatboozyvagabond？’Andthehouse—maidcameandscrubbedhisnosewithsandpaper；andonce，whenthePrincessAngelica’slittlesisterwasborn，hewastiedupinanoldkidglove；and，anothernight，someLARKINGyoungmentriedtowrenchhimoff，andputhimtothemostexcruciatingagonywithaturnscrew。AndthentheQueenhadafancytohavethecolourofthedooraltered；andthepaintersdabbedhimoverthemouthandeyes，andnearlychokedhim，astheypaintedhimpea—green。IwarranthehadleisuretorepentofhavingbeenrudetotheFairyBlackstick!
　　Asforhiswife，shedidnotmisshim；andashewasalwaysguzzlingbeeratthepublic—house，andnotoriouslyquarrellingwithhiswife，andindebttothetradesmen，itwassupposedhehadrunawayfromalltheseevils，andemigratedtoAustraliaorAmerica。AndwhenthePrinceandPrincesschosetobecomeKingandQueen，theylefttheiroldhouse，andnobodythoughtoftheporteranymore。
　　V。HOWPRINCESSANGELICATOOKALITTLEMAID
　　Oneday，whenthePrincessAngelicawasquitealittlegirl，shewaswalkinginthegardenofthepalace，withMrs。Gruffanuff，thegoverness，holdingaparasoloverherhead，tokeephersweetcomplexionfromthefreckles，andAngelicawascarryingabun，tofeedtheswansandducksintheroyalpond。
　　Theyhadnotreachedtheduck—pond，whentherecametoddlinguptothemsuchafunnylittlegirl!Shehadagreatquantityofhairblowingaboutherchubbylittlecheeks，andlookedasifshehadnotbeenwashedorcombedforeversolong。Sheworearaggedbitofacloak，andhadonlyoneshoeon。
　　’Youlittlewretch，wholetyouinhere？’askedMrs。Gruffanuff。
　　’Divmedatbun，’saidthelittlegirl，’mevelyhungy。’
　　’Hungry!whatisthat？’askedPrincessAngelica，andgavethechildthebun。
　　’Oh，Princess!’saysMrs。Gruffanuff，’howgood，howkind，howtrulyangelicalyouare!See，YourMajesties，’shesaidtotheKingandQueen，whonowcameup，alongwiththeirnephew，PrinceGiglio，’howkindthePrincessis!Shemetthislittledirtywretchinthegarden——Ican’ttellhowshecameinhere，orwhytheguardsdidnotshootherdeadatthegate!——andthedeardarlingofaPrincesshasgivenherthewholeofherbun!’
　　’Ididn’twantit，’saidAngelical’Butyouareadarlinglittleangelallthesame，’saysthegoverness。
　　’Yes；IknowIam，’saidAngelical’Dirtylittlegirl，don’tyouthinkIamverypretty？’Indeed，shehadonthefinestoflittledressesandhats；and，asherhairwascarefullycurled，shereallylookedverywell。
　　’Oh，pooty，pooty!’saysthelittlegirl，caperingabout，laughing，anddancing，andmunchingherbun；andassheateitshebegantosing，’Oh，whatfuntohaveaplumbun!howIwisitneverwasdone!’Atwhich，andherfunnyaccent，Angelica，Giglio，andtheKingandQueenbegantolaughverymerrily。
　　’Icandanceaswellassing，’saysthelittlegirl。’Icandance，andIcansing，andIcandoallsortsofting。’Andsherantoaflower—bed，andpullingafewpolyanthuses，rhododendrons，andotherflowers，madeherselfalittlewreath，anddancedbeforetheKingandQueensodrollyandprettily，thateverybodywasdelighted。
　　’Whowasyourmother——whowereyourrelations，littlegirl？’saidtheQueen。
　　Thelittlegirlsaid，’Littlelionwasmybrudder；greatbiglionessmymudder；neberheardofanyudder。’Andshecaperedawayonheroneshoe，andeverybodywasexceedinglydiverted。
　　SoAngelicasaidtotheQueen，’Mamma，myparrotflewawayyesterdayoutofitscage，andIdon’tcareanymoreforanyofmytoys；andIthinkthisfunnylittledirtychildwillamuseme。
　　Iwilltakeherhome，andgivehersomeofmyoldfrocks。’
　　’Oh，thegenerousdarling!’saysMrs。Gruffanuff。
　　’WhichIhaveworneversomanytimes，andamquitetiredof，’
　　Angelicawenton；’andsheshallbemylittlemaid。Willyoucomehomewithme，littledirtygirl？’
　　Thechildclappedherhands，andsaid，’Gohomewithyou——yes!
　　YoupootyPrincess!——Haveanicedinner，andwearanewdress!’
　　Andtheyalllaughedagain，andtookhomethechildtothepalace，where，whenshewaswashedandcombed，andhadoneofthePrincess’sfrocksgiventoher，shelookedashandsomeasAngelica，almost。NotthatAngelicaeverthoughtso；forthislittleladyneverimaginedthatanybodyintheworldcouldbeaspretty，asgood，orascleverasherself。Inorderthatthelittlegirlshouldnotbecometooproudandconceited，Mrs。
　　Gruffanufftookheroldraggedmantleandoneshoe，andputthemintoaglassbox，withacardlaiduponthem，uponwhichwaswritten，’TheseweretheoldclothesinwhichlittleBETSINDAwasfoundwhenthegreatgoodnessandadmirablekindnessofHerRoyalHighnessthePrincessAngelicareceivedthislittleoutcast。’
　　Andthedatewasadded，andtheboxlockedup。
　　ForawhilelittleBetsindawasagreatfavouritewiththePrincess，andshedanced，andsang，andmadeherlittlerhymes，toamusehermistress。ButthenthePrincessgotamonkey，andafterwardsalittledog，andafterwardsadoll，anddidnotcareforBetsindaanymore，whobecameverymelancholyandquiet，andsangnomorefunnysongs，becausenobodycaredtohearher。Andthen，asshegrewolder，shewasmadealittlelady’s—maidtothePrincess；andthoughshehadnowages，sheworkedandmended，andputAngelica’shairinpapers，andwasnevercrosswhenscolded，andwasalwayseagertopleasehermistress，andwasalwaysupearlyandtobedlate，andathandwhenwanted，andinfactbecameaperfectlittlemaid。Sothetwogirlsgrewup，and，whenthePrincesscameout，Betsindawasnevertiredofwaitingonher；andmadeherdressesbetterthanthebestmilliner，andwasusefulinahundredways。WhilstthePrincesswashavinghermasters，Betsindawouldsitandwatchthem；andinthiswayshepickedupagreatdealoflearning；forshewasalwaysawake，thoughhermistresswasnot，andlistenedtothewiseprofessorswhenAngelicawasyawningorthinkingofthenextball。Andwhenthedancing—mastercame，BetsindalearnedalongwithAngelica；
　　andwhenthemusic—mastercame，shewatchedhim，andpracticedthePrincess’spieceswhenAngelicawasawayatballsandparties；andwhenthedrawing—mastercame，shetooknoteofallhesaidanddid；andthesamewithFrench，Italian，andallotherlanguages——shelearnedthemfromtheteacherwhocametoAngelica。WhenthePrincesswasgoingoutofaneveningshewouldsay，’MygoodBetsinda，youmayaswellfinishwhatIhavebegun。’’Yes，miss，’Betsindawouldsay，andsitdownverycheerful，nottoFINISHwhatAngelicabegan，buttoDOit。
　　Forinstance，thePrincesswouldbeginaheadofawarrior，letussay，andwhenitwasbegunitwassomethinglikethis——
　　Butwhenitwasdone，thewarriorwaslikethis——
　　（onlyhandsomerstillifpossible），andthePrincessputhernametothedrawing；andtheCourtandKingandQueen，andaboveallpoorGiglio，admiredthepictureofallthings，andsaid，’WasthereeverageniuslikeAngelica？’So，Iamsorrytosay，wasitwiththePrincess’sembroideryandotheraccomplishments；andAngelicaactuallybelievedthatshedidthesethingsherself，andreceivedalltheflatteryoftheCourtasifeverywordofitwastrue。Thusshebegantothinkthattherewasnoyoungwomaninalltheworldequaltoherself，andthatnoyoungmanwasgoodenoughforher。AsforBetsinda，assheheardnoneofthesepraises，shewasnotpuffedupbythem，andbeingamostgrateful，good—naturedgirl，shewasonlytooanxioustodoeverythingwhichmightgivehermistresspleasure。NowyoubegintoperceivethatAngelicahadfaultsofherown，andwasbynomeanssuchawonderofwondersaspeoplerepresentedHerRoyalHighnesstobe。
　　VI。HOWPRINCEGIGLIOBEHAVEDHIMSELF
　　AndnowletusspeakaboutPrinceGiglio，thenephewofthereigningmonarchofPaflagonia。Ithasalreadybeenstated，inpageseven，thataslongashehadasmartcoattowear，agoodhorsetoride，andmoneyinhispocket，orrathertotakeoutofhispocket，forhewasverygood—natured，myyoungPrincedidnotcareforthelossofhiscrownandsceptre，beingathoughtlessyouth，notmuchinclinedtopoliticsoranykindoflearning。Sohistutorhadasinecure。Gigliowouldnotlearnclassicsormathematics，andtheLordChancellorofPaflagonia，SQUARETOSO，pulledaverylongfacebecausethePrincecouldnotbegottostudythePaflagonianlawsandconstitution；but，ontheotherhand，theKing’sgamekeepersandhuntsmenfoundthePrinceanaptpupil；thedancing—masterpronouncedthathewasamostelegantandassiduousscholar；theFirstLordoftheBilliardTablegavethemostflatteringreportsofthePrince’sskill；sodidtheGroomoftheTennisCourt；andasfortheCaptainoftheGuardandFencingMaster，theVALIANTandVETERANCountKUTASOFF
　　HEDZOFF，heavowedthatsinceherantheGeneralofCrimTartary，thedreadfulGrumbuskin，throughthebody，heneverhadencounteredsoexpertaswordsmanasPrinceGiglio。
　　IhopeyoudonotimaginethattherewasanyimproprietyinthePrinceandPrincesswalkingtogetherinthepalacegarden，andbecauseGigliokissedAngelica’shandinapolitemanner。Inthefirstplacetheyarecousins；next，theQueeniswalkinginthegardentoo（youcannotseeher，forshehappenstobebehindthattree），andHerMajestyalwayswishedthatAngelicaandGiglioshouldmarry：sodidGiglio：sodidAngelicasometimes，forshethoughthercousinveryhandsome，brave，andgood—natured：butthenyouknowshewassocleverandknewsomanythings，andpoorGiglioknewnothing，andhadnoconversation。Whentheylookedatthestars，whatdidGiglioknowoftheheavenlybodies？Once，whenonasweetnightinabalconywheretheywerestanding，Angelicasaid，’ThereistheBear。’’Where？’saysGiglio。
　　’Don’tbeafraid，Angelica!ifadozenbearscome，Iwillkillthemratherthantheyshallhurtyou。’’Oh，yousillycreature!’
　　saysshe；’youareverygood，butyouarenotverywise。’Whentheylookedattheflowers，Gigliowasutterlyunacquaintedwithbotany，andhadneverheardofLinnaeus。Whenthebutterfliespassed，Giglioknewnothingaboutthem，beingasignorantofentomologyasIamofalgebra。Soyousee，Angelica，thoughshelikedGiglioprettywell，despisedhimonaccountofhisignorance。IthinksheprobablyvaluedHEROWNLEARNINGrathertoomuch；buttothinktoowellofone’sselfisthefaultofpeopleofallagesandbothsexes。Finally，whennobodyelsewasthere，Angelicalikedhercousinwellenough。
　　KingValorosowasverydelicateinhealth，andwithalsofondofgooddinners（whichwerepreparedforhimbyhisFrenchcookMarmitonio），thatitwassupposedhecouldnotlivelong。NowtheideaofanythinghappeningtotheKingstrucktheartfulPrimeMinisterandthedesigningoldlady—in—waitingwithterror。
　　For，thoughtGlumbosoandtheCountess，’whenPrinceGigliomarrieshiscousinandcomestothethrone，whataprettypositionweshallbein，whomhedislikes，andwhohavealwaysbeenunkindtohim。Weshallloseourplacesinatrice；Mrs。
　　Gruffanuffwillhavetogiveupallthejewels，laces，snuff—boxes，rings，andwatcheswhichbelongedtotheQueen，Giglio’smother；andGlumbosowillbeforcedtorefundtwohundredandseventeenthousandmillionsninehundredandeighty—seventhousandfourhundredandthirty—ninepounds，thirteenshillings，andsixpencehalfpenny，moneylefttoPrinceGigliobyhispoordearfather。’
　　SotheLadyofHonourandthePrimeMinisterhatedGigliobecausetheyhaddonehimawrong；andtheseunprincipledpeopleinventedahundredcruelstoriesaboutpoorGiglio，inordertoinfluencetheKing，Queen，andPrincessagainsthim；howhewassoignorantthathecouldnotspellthecommonestwords，andactuallywroteValorosoValloroso，andspeltAngelicawithtwol’s；howhedrankagreatdealtoomuchwineatdinner，andwasalwaysidlinginthestableswiththegrooms；howheowedeversomuchmoneyatthepastry—cook’sandthehaberdasher’s；howheusedtogotosleepatchurch；howhewasfondofplayingcardswiththepages。
　　SodidtheQueenlikeplayingcards；sodidtheKinggotosleepatchurch，andeatanddrinktoomuch；and，ifGiglioowedatriflefortarts，whoowedhimtwohundredandseventeenthousandmillionsninehundredandeighty—seventhousandfourhundredandthirty—ninepounds，thirteenshillings，andsixpencehalfpenny，I
　　shouldliketoknow？Detractorsandtale—bearers（inmyhumbleopinion）hadmuchbetterlookatHOME。AllthisbackbitingandslanderinghadeffectuponPrincessAngelica，whobegantolookcoldlyonhercousin，thentolaughathimandscornhimforbeingsostupid，thentosneerathimforhavingvulgarassociates；andatCourtballs，dinners，andsoforth，totreathimsounkindlythatpoorGigliobecamequiteill，tooktohisbed，andsentforthedoctor。
　　HisMajestyKingValoroso，aswehaveseen，hadhisownreasonsfordislikinghisnephew；andasforthoseinnocentreaderswhoaskwhy？——Ibeg（withthepermissionoftheirdearparents）toreferthemtoShakespeare’spages，wheretheywillreadwhyKingJohndislikedPrinceArthur。WiththeQueen，hisroyalbutweak—mindedaunt，whenGigliowasoutofsighthewasoutofmind。Whileshehadherwhistandhereveningparties，shecaredforlittleelse。
　　IdaresayTWOVILLAINS，whoshallbenameless，wishedDoctorPildrafto，theCourtPhysician，hadkilledGigliorightout，butheonlybledandphysickedhimsoseverelythatthePrincewaskepttohisroomforseveralmonths，andgrewasthinasapost。
　　Whilsthewaslyingsickinthisway，therecametotheCourtofPaflagoniaafamouspainter，whosenamewasTomasoLorenzo，andwhowasPainterinOrdinarytotheKingofCrimTartary，Paflagonia’sneighbour。TomasoLorenzopaintedalltheCourt，whoweredelightedwithhisworks；forevenCountessGruffanufflookedyoungandGlumbosogood—humouredinhispictures。’Heflattersverymuch，’somepeoplesaid。’Nay!’saysPrincessAngelica，’Iamaboveflattery，andIthinkhedidnotmakemypicturehandsomeenough。Ican’tbeartohearamanofgeniusunjustlycrieddown，andIhopemydearpapawillmakeLorenzoaknightofhisOrderoftheCucumber。’
　　ThePrincessAngelica，althoughthecourtiersvowedHerRoyalHighnesscoulddrawsoBEAUTIFULLYthattheideaofhertakinglessonswasabsurd，yetchosetohaveLorenzoforateacher，anditwaswonderful，ASLONGASSHEPAINTEDINHISSTUDIO，whatbeautifulpicturesshemade!SomeoftheperformanceswereengravedfortheBookofBeauty：othersweresoldforenormoussumsatCharityBazaars。ShewrotetheSIGNATURESunderthedrawings，nodoubt，butIthinkIknowwho—didthepictures——thisartfulpainter，whohadcomewithotherdesignsonAngelicathanmerelytoteachhertodraw。
　　Oneday，LorenzoshowedthePrincessaportraitofayoungmaninarmour，withfairhairandtheloveliestblueeyes，andanexpressionatoncemelancholyandinteresting。
　　’DearSignorLorenzo，whoisthis？’askedthePrincess。
　　"Ineversawanyonesohandsome，’saysCountessGruffanuff（theoldhumbug）。
　　’That，’saidthepainter，’that，Madam，istheportraitofmyaugustyoungmaster，hisRoyalHighnessBulbo，CrownPrinceofCrimTartary，DukeofAcroceraunia，MarquisofPoluphloisboio，andKnightGrandCrossoftheOrderofthePumpkin。ThatistheorderofthePumpkinglitteringonhismanlybreast，andreceivedbyHisRoyalHighnessfromhisaugustfather，HisMajestyKingPADELLAI。，forhisgallantryatthebattleofRimbombamento，whenheslewwithhisownprincelyhandtheKingofOgrariaandtwohundredandelevengiantsofthetwohundredandeighteenwhoformedtheKing’sbodyguard。TheremainderweredestroyedbythebraveCrimTartararmyafteranobstinatecombat，inwhichtheCrimTartarssufferedseverely。’
　　WhataPrince!thoughtAngelica：sobrave——socalm—looking——soyoung——whatahero!
　　’Heisasaccomplishedasheisbrave，’continuedtheCourtPainter。’Heknowsalllanguagesperfectly：singsdeliciously：
　　playseveryinstrument：composesoperaswhichhavebeenactedathousandnightsrunningattheImperialTheatreofCrimTartary，anddancedinaballettherebeforetheKingandQueen；inwhichhelookedsobeautiful，thathiscousin，thelovelydaughteroftheKingofCircassia，diedforloveofhim。’
　　’WhydidhenotmarrythepoorPrincess？’askedAngelica，withasigh。
　　’BecausetheywereFIRSTCOUSINS，Madam，andtheclergyforbidtheseunions，’saidthePainter。’And，besides，theyoungPrincehadgivenhisroyalheartELSEWHERE。’
　　’Andtowhom？’askedHerRoyalHighness。
　　’IamnotatlibertytomentionthePrincess’sname，’answeredthePainter。
　　’Butyoumaytellmethefirstletterofit，’gaspedoutthePrincess。
　　’ThatYourRoyalHighnessisatlibertytoguess，’saidLorenzo。
　　’DoesitbeginwithaZ？’askedAngelica。
　　ThePaintersaiditwasn’taZ；thenshetriedaY；thenanX；
　　thenaW，andwentsobackwardsthroughalmostthewholealphabet。
　　WhenshecametoD，anditwasn’tD，shegrewveryexcited；whenshecametoC，anditwasn’tC，shewasstillmorenervous；whenshecametoB，ANDITWASN’TB，’OdearestGruffanuff，’shesaid，’lendmeyoursmelling—bottle!’and，hidingherheadintheCountess’sshoulder，shefaintlywhispered，’Ah，Signor，canitbeA？’
　　’ItwasA；andthoughImaynot，bymyRoyalMaster’sorders，tellYourRoyalHighnessthePrincess’sname，whomhefondly，madly，devotedly，rapturouslyloves，Imayshowyouherportrait，’saysthisslyboots：andleadingthePrincessuptoagiltframe，hedrewacurtainwhichwasbeforeit。
　　Ogoodness!theframecontainedALOOKING—GLASS!andAngelicasawherownface!
　　VII。HOWGIGLIOANDANGELICAHADAQUARREL
　　TheCourtPainterofHisMajestytheKingofCrimTartaryreturnedtothatmonarch’sdominions，carryingawayanumberofsketcheswhichhehadmadeinthePaflagoniancapital（youknow，ofcourse，mydears，thatthenameofthatcapitalisBlombodinga）；butthemostcharmingofallhispieceswasaportraitofthePrincessAngelica，whichalltheCrimTartarnoblescametosee。WiththisworktheKingwassodelighted，thathedecoratedthePainterwithhisOrderofthePumpkin（sixthclass）andtheartistbecameSirTomasoLorenzo，K。P。，thenceforth。
　　KingValorosoalsosentSirTomasohisOrderoftheCucumber，besidesahandsomeorderformoney，forhepaintedtheKing，Queen，andprincipalnobilitywhileatBlombodinga，andbecameallthefashion，totheperfectrageofalltheartistsinPaflagonia，wheretheKingusedtopointtotheportraitofPrinceBulbo，whichSirTomasohadleftbehindhim，andsay’Whichamongyoucanpaintapicturelikethat？’
　　Ithungintheroyalparlourovertheroyalsideboard，andPrincessAngelicacouldalwayslookatitasshesatmakingthetea。Eachdayitseemedtogrowhandsomerandhandsomer，andthePrincessgrewsofondoflookingatit，thatshewouldoftenspilltheteaoverthecloth，atwhichherfatherandmotherwouldwinkandwagtheirheads，andsaytoeachother，’Aha!weseehowthingsaregoing。’
　　InthemeantimepoorGigliolayupstairsverysickinhischamber，thoughhetookallthedoctor’shorriblemedicineslikeagoodyounglad；asIhopeYOUdo，mydears，whenyouareillandmammasendsforthemedicalman。AndtheonlypersonwhovisitedGiglio（besideshisfriendthecaptainoftheguard，whowasalmostalwaysbusyoronparade），waslittleBetsindathehousemaid，whousedtodohisbedroomandsitting—roomout，bringhimhisgruel，andwarmhisbed。
　　Whenthelittlehousemaidcametohiminthemorningandevening，PrinceGigliousedtosay，’Betsinda，Betsinda，howisthePrincessAngelica？’
　　AndBetsindausedtoanswer，’ThePrincessisverywell，thankyou，myLord。’AndGigliowouldheaveasigh，andthink，ifAngelicaweresick，Iamsure_I_shouldnotbeverywell。
　　ThenGigliowouldsay，’Betsinda，hasthePrincessAngelicaaskedformetoday？’AndBetsindawouldanswer，’No，myLord，nottoday’；or，’shewasverybusypracticingthepianowhenIsawher’；or，’shewaswritinginvitationsforaneveningparty，anddidnotspeaktome’；ormakesomeexcuseorother，notstrictlyconsonantwithtruth：forBetsindawassuchagood—naturedcreaturethatshestrovetodoeverythingtopreventannoyancetoPrinceGiglio，andevenbroughthimuproastchickenandjelliesfromthekitchen（whentheDoctorallowedthem，andGigliowasgettingbetter），saying，’thatthePrincesshadmadethejelly，orthebread—sauce，withherownhands，onpurposeforGiglio。’
　　WhenGiglioheardthishetookheartandbegantomendimmediately；andgobbledupallthejelly，andpickedthelastboneofthechicken——drumsticks，merry—thought，sides’—bones，back，pope’snose，andall——thankinghisdearAngelica；andhefeltsomuchbetterthenextday，thathedressedandwentdownstairs，where，whomshouldhemeetbutAngelicagoingintothedrawing—room？Allthecoverswereoffthechairs，thechandelierstakenoutofthebags，thedamaskcurtainsuncovered，theworkandthingscarriedaway，andthehandsomestalbumsonthetables。Angelicahadherhairinpapers：inaword，itwasevidenttherewasgoingtobeaparty。
　　’Heavens，Giglio!’criesAngelica：’YOUhereinsuchadress!
　　Whatafigureyouare!’
　　’Yes，dearAngelica，Iamcomedownstairs，andfeelsowelltoday，thankstotheFOWLandtheJELLY。’
　　’WhatdoIknowaboutfowlsandjellies，thatyoualludetotheminthatrudeway？’saysAngelica。
　　’Why，didn’t——didn’tyousendthem，Angelicadear？’saysGiglio。
　　’Isendthemindeed!Angelicadear!No，Gigliodear，’saysshe，mockinghim，’_I_wasengagedingettingtheroomsreadyforHisRoyalHighnessthePrinceofCrimTartary，whoiscomingtopaymypapa’sCourtavisit。’
　　’The——Prince——of——Crim——Tartary!’Gigliosaid，aghast。
　　’Yes，thePrinceofCrimTartary，’saysAngelica，mockinghim。
　　’Idaresayyouneverheardofsuchacountry。WhatDIDyoueverhearof？Youdon’tknowwhetherCrimTartaryisontheRedSeaorontheBlackSea，Idaresay。’
　　’Yes，Ido，it’sontheRedSea，’saysGiglio，atwhichthePrincessburstoutlaughingathim，andsaid，’Oh，youninny!Youaresoignorant，youarereallynotfitforsociety!Youknownothingbutabouthorsesanddogs，andareonlyfittodineinamess—roomwithmyRoyalfather’sheaviestdragoons。Don’tlooksosurprisedatme，sir：goandputyourbestclothesontoreceivethePrince，andletmegetthedrawing—roomready。’
　　Gigliosaid，’Oh，Angelica，Angelica，Ididn’tthinkthisofyou。
　　THISwasn’tyourlanguagetomewhenyougavemethisring，andI
　　gaveyoumineinthegarden，andyougavemethatk——’
　　Butwhatkwaswenevershallknow，forAngelica，inarage，cried，’Getout，yousaucy，rudecreature!Howdareyoutoremindmeofyourrudeness？Asforyourlittletrumperytwopennyring，there，sir，there!’Andsheflungitoutofthewindow。
　　’Itwasmymother’smarriage—ring，’criedGiglio。
　　’_I_don’tcarewhosemarriage—ringitwas，’criesAngelica。
　　’Marrythepersonwhopicksitupifshe’sawoman；youshan’tmarryME。AndgivemebackMYring。I’venopatiencewithpeoplewhoboastaboutthethingstheygiveaway!_I_knowwho’llgivememuchfinerthingsthanyouevergaveme。Abeggarlyringindeed，notworthfiveshillings!’
　　NowAngelicalittleknewthattheringwhichGigliohadgivenherwasafairyring：ifamanworeit，itmadeallthewomeninlovewithhim；ifawoman，allthegentlemen。TheQueen，Giglio’smother，quiteanordinary—lookingperson，wasadmiredimmenselywhilstsheworethisring，andherhusbandwasfranticwhenshewasill。ButwhenshecalledherlittleGigliotoher，andputtheringonhisfinger，KingSaviodidnotseemtocareforhiswifesomuchanymore，buttransferredallhislovetolittleGiglio。Sodideverybodylovehimaslongashehadthering；butwhen，asquiteachild，hegaveittoAngelica，peoplebegantoloveandadmireHER；andGiglio，asthesayingis，playedonlysecondfiddle。
　　’Yes，’saysAngelica，goingoninherfoolishungratefulway。
　　’_I_knowwho’llgivememuchfinerthingsthanyourbeggarlylittlepearlnonsense。’
　　’Verygood，miss!Youmaytakebackyourringtoo!’saysGiglio，hiseyesflashingfireather，andthen，ashiseyeshadbeensuddenlyopened，hecriedout，’Ha!whatdoesthismean？IsTHIS
　　thewomanIhavebeeninlovewithallmylife？HaveIbeensuchaninnyastothrowawaymyregarduponyou？Why——actually——
　　yes——youarealittlecrooked!’
　　’Oh，youwretch!’criesAngelica。
　　’And，uponmyconscience，you——yousquintalittle。’
　　’Eh!’criesAngelica。
　　’Andyourhairisred——andyouaremarkedwiththesmallpox——andwhat？youhavethreefalseteeth——andonelegshorterthantheother!’
　　’Youbrute，youbrute，you!’Angelicascreamedout：andassheseizedtheringwithonehand，shedealtGiglioone，two，threesmacksontheface，andwouldhavepulledthehairoffhisheadhadhenotstartedlaughing，andcrying——
　　’Ohdearme，Angelica，don’tpulloutMYhair，ithurts!YoumightremoveagreatdealofYOUROWN，asIperceive，withoutscissorsorpullingatall。Oh，ho，ho!ha，ha，ha!hohehe!’
　　Andhenearlychokedhimselfwithlaughing，andshewithrage；
　　when，withalowbow，anddressedinhisCourthabit，CountGambabella，thefirstlord—in—waiting，enteredandsaid，’RoyalHighnesses!TheirMajestiesexpectyouinthePinkThrone—room，wheretheyawaitthearrivalofthePrinceofCRIMTARTARY。’
　　VIII。HOWGRUFFANUFFPICKEDTHEFAIRYRINGUP，ANDPRINCEBULBO
　　CAMETOCOURT
　　PrinceBulbo’sarrivalhadsetallthecourtinaflutter：
　　everybodywasorderedtoputhisorherbestclotheson：thefootmenhadtheirgalaliveries；theLordChancellorhisnewwig；
　　theGuardstheirlastnewtunics；andCountessGruffanuff，youmaybesure，wasgladofanopportunityofdecoratingHERoldpersonwithherfinestthings。ShewaswalkingthroughthecourtofthePalaceonherwaytowaituponTheirMajesties，whensheespiedsomethingglitteringonthepavement，andbadetheboyinbuttonswhowasholdinguphertrain，togoandpickupthearticleshiningyonder。Hewasanuglylittlewretch，insomeofthelategroom—porter’soldclothescutdown，andmuchtootightforhim；andyet，whenhehadtakenupthering（asitturnedouttobe），andwascarryingittohismistress，shethoughthelookedlikealittlecupid。Hegavetheringtoher；itwasatrumperylittlethingenough，buttoosmallforanyofheroldknuckles，sosheputitintoherpocket。
　　’Oh，mum!’saystheboy，lookingather’how——howbeyoutifulyoudolook，mum，today，mum!’
　　’Andyou，too，Jacky，’shewasgoingtosay；but，lookingdownathim——no，hewasnolongergood—lookingatall——butonlythecarroty—hairedlittleJackyofthemorning。However，praiseiswelcomefromtheugliestofmenorboys，andGruffanuff，biddingtheboyholduphertrain，walkedoninhighgood—humour。Theguardssalutedherwithpeculiarrespect。CaptainHedzoff，intheanteroom，said，’Mydearmadam，youlooklikeanangeltoday。’Andso，bowingandsmirking，GruffanuffwentinandtookherplacebehindherRoyalMasterandMistress，whowereinthethrone—room，awaitingthePrinceofCrimTartary。PrincessAngelicasatattheirfeet，andbehindtheKing’schairstoodPrinceGiglio，lookingverysavage。
　　ThePrinceofCrimTartarymadehisappearance，attendedbyBaronSleibootz，hischamberlain，andfollowedbyablackpagecarryingthemostbeautifulcrownyoueversaw!Hewasdressedinhistravellingcostume，andhishair，asyousee，wasalittleindisorder。’Ihaveriddenthreehundredmilessincebreakfast，’
　　saidhe，’soeagerwasItobeholdthePrin——theCourtandaugustfamilyofPaflagonia，andIcouldnotwaitoneminutebeforeappearinginYourMajesties’presences。’
　　Giglio，frombehindthethrone，burstoutintoaroarofcontemptuouslaughter；butalltheRoyalparty，infact，weresoflurried，thattheydidnothearthislittleoutbreak。’YourR。
　　H。iswelcomeinanydress，’saystheKing。’Glumboso，achairforHisRoyalHighness。’
　　’AnydressHisRoyalHighnesswearsISaCourtdress，’saysPrincessAngelica，smilinggraciously。
　　’Ah!butyoushouldseemyotherclothes，’saidthePrince。’I
　　shouldhavehadthemon，butthatstupidcarrierhasnotbroughtthem。Who’sthatlaughing？’
　　ItwasGigliolaughing。’Iwaslaughing，’hesaid，’becauseyousaidjustnowthatyouwereinsuchahurrytoseethePrincess，thatyoucouldnotwaittochangeyourdress；andnowyousayyoucomeinthoseclothesbecauseyouhavenoothers。’
　　’Andwhoareyou？’saysPrinceBulbo，veryfiercely。
　　’MyfatherwasKingofthiscountry，andIamhisonlyson，Prince!’repliesGiglio，withequalhaughtiness。