TheActorsNamesintheHistoryofSirJohnOldcastle。
KingHenrytheFifth。
SirJohnOld—castle,LordCobham。
Harpoole,ServanttotheLordCobham。
LordHerbert,withGoughhisman。
LordPowis,withOwenandDavyhismen。
TheMayorofHereford,andSheriffofHerefordshire,withBailiffsandServants。
TwoJudgesofAssize。
TheBishopofRochesterandClunhisSumner。
SirJohntheParsonofWrotham,andDollhisConcubine。
TheDukeofSuffolk。
TheEarlofHuntington。
TheEarlofCambridge。
LordScroopandLordGrey。
ChartrestheFrenchAgent。
SirRogerActon。
SirRichardLee。
M。Bourn,M。Beverly,andMurleytheBrewerofDunstable,rebels。
M。Butler,GentlemanofthePrivyChamber。
LadyCobhamandLadyPowis。
Cromer,SheriffofKent。
LordWardenoftheCinquePorts。
LieutenantoftheTower。
TheMayor,Constable,andGaolerofS。Albans。
AKentishConstableandanAle—man。
Soldiersandoldmenbegging。
DickandTom,servantstoMurley。
AnIrishman。
AnHost,Hostler,aCarrierandKate。
THEPROLOGUE。
ThedoubtfulTitle(Gentlemen)prefixtUpontheArgumentwehaveinhand,Maybreedsuspence,andwrongfullydisturbThepeacefulquietofyoursettledthoughts。
Tostopwhichscruple,letthisbriefsuffice:
Itisnopamperedgluttonwepresent,NoragedCounsellortoyouthfulsin,Butone,whosevirtueshoneabovetherest,AvaliantMartyrandavirtuouspeer;
InwhosetruefaithandloyaltyexpressedUntohissovereign,andhiscountry’sweal,WestrivetopaythattributeofourLove,Yourfavoursmerit。LetfairTruthbegraced,Sinceforgedinventionformertimedefaced。
ACTI。SCENEI。Hereford。Astreet。
[EnterLordHerbert,LordPowis,Owen,Gough,Davy,andseveralotherfollowersofthelordsHerbertandPowis;
theyfight。Inthefight,entertheSheriffandtwoofhismen。]
SHERIFF。
MyLords,IchargeyeinhisHighness’name,Tokeepthepeace,you,andyourfollowers。
HERBERT。
GoodMasterSheriff,lookuntoyourself。
POWIS。
Doso,forwehaveotherbusiness。
[Profertofightagain。]
SHERIFF。
WillyedisturbtheJudges,andtheAssize?
HeartheKing’sproclamation,yewerebest。
POWIS。
Holdthen,let’shearit。
HERBERT。
Butbebrief,yewerebest。
BAILIFF。
Oyes!
DAVY。
Cousin,makeshorterO,orshallmaryourYes。
BAILIFF。
Oyes!
OWEN。
What,hashernothingtosaybutOyes?
BAILIFF。
Oyes!
DAVY。
Onay!pyeCosseplutdownwithher,downwithher!
APawesse!aPawesse!
GOUGH。
AHerbert!aHerbert!anddownwithPowis!
[Helterskelteragain。]
SHERIFF。
Hold,intheKing’sname,hold。
OWEN。
Downi’thaknave’sname,down。
[Inthisfight,theBailiffisknockeddown,andtheSheriffandtheotherrunaway。]
HERBERT。
Powesse,IthinkthyWelshandthoudosmart。
POWIS。
Herbert,Ithinkmyswordcamenearthyheart。
HERBERT。
Thyheart’sbestbloodshallpaythelossofmine。
GOUGH。
AHerbert!aHerbert!
DAVY。
APawesse!aPawesse!
[Astheyareliftingtheirweapons,entertheMayorofHereford,andhisOfficersandTowns—menwithclubs。]
MAYOR。
MyLords,asyouareliegementotheCrown,Truenoblemen,andsubjectstotheKing,AttendhisHighness’proclamation,CommandedbytheJudgesofAssize,Forkeepingpeaceatthisassembly。
HERBERT。
GoodMasterMayorofHerefordbebrief。
MAYOR。
Sergeant,withouttheceremonyofOyes,Pronouncealoudtheproclamation。
SERVANT。
TheKing’sJustices,perceivingwhatpublicmischiefmayensuethisprivatequarrel,inhismajesty’snamedostraightlychargeandcommandallpersons,ofwhatdegreesoever,todepartthiscityofHereford,exceptsuchasareboundtogiveattendanceatthisAssize,andthatnomanpresumetowearanyweapon,especiallywelsh—hooks,forestbills——
OWEN。
Haw,nopillnorwellshoog?ha?
MAYOR。
Peace,andheartheproclamation。
SERVANT。
AndthattheLordPowessedopresentlydisperseanddischargehisretinue,anddepartthecityintheKing’speace,heandhisfollowers,onpainofimprisonment。
DAVY。
Haw?pudherLordPawesseinprison?APawes!
APawesse!cossoneliveandtiewithherLord。
GOUGH。
AHerbert!aHerbert!
[InthisfighttheLordHerbertiswounded,andfallstotheground;theMayorandhiscompanygoaway,cryingclubs;
Powesserunsaway;GoughandotherofHerbert’sfactionbusythemselvesaboutHerbert;enterthetwoJudgesintheirrobes,theSheriffandhisBailiffsaforethem,&c。]
FIRSTJUDGE。
Where’stheLordHerbert?ishehurtorslain?
SHERIFF。
He’shere,myLord。
SECONDJUDGE。
HowfareshisLordship,friends?
GOUGH。
Mortallywounded,speechless;hecannotlive。
FIRSTJUDGE。
Conveyhimhence;letnothiswoundstakeair,Andgethimdressedwithexpedition。
[Ex。Herbert&Gough。]
MasterMayorofHereford,MasterShrieveo’theshire,CommitLordPowessetosafecustody,Toanswerthedisturbanceofthepeace,LordHerbert’speril,andhishighcontemptOfus,andyoutheKing’scommissioners。
Seeitbedonewithcareanddiligence。
SHERIFF。
PleaseityourLordship,myLordPowesseisgonePastallrecovery。
SECONDJUDGE。
Yetletsearchbemade,Toapprehendhisfollowersthatareleft。
SHERIFF。
Therearesomeofthem。Sirs,layholdofthem。
OWEN。
Ofus?andwhy?whathasherdone,Iprayyou?
SHERIFF。
Disarmthem,Bailiffs。
MAYOR。
Officers,assist。
DAVY。
Hearyou,Lorshudge,whatressonisforthis?
OWEN。
CossonpepuseforfightingforourLord?
FIRSTJUDGE。
Awaywiththem。
DAVY。
Hargyou,myLord。
OWEN。
GoughmyLordHerbert’sman’sashittenkanave。
DAVY。
Iseliveandtieingoodquarrel。
OWEN。
Prayyoudoshustice;letallbepreson。
DAVY。
Prison!no。
Lordshudge,Iwoolgiveyoupale,goodsuerty。
SECONDJUDGE。
WhatBail?whatsureties?
DAVY。
HercoozinapRies,apEvan,apMorris,apMorgan,apLluellyn,apMadoc,apMeredith,apGriffen,apDavy,apOwen,apShinkenShones。
SECONDJUDGE。
Twoofthemostsufficientareynow。
SHERIFF。
And’tpleaseyourLordship,theseareallbutone。
FIRSTJUDGE。
ToJailwiththem,andtheLordHerbert’smen;
We’lltalkwiththem,whentheAssizeisdone。
[Exeunt。]
Riotous,audacious,andunrulyGrooms,MustwebeforcedtocomefromtheBench,Toquietbrawls,whicheveryConstableInothercivilplacescansuppress?
SECONDJUDGE。
Whatwasthequarrelthatcausedallthisstir?
SHERIFF。
Aboutreligion,asIheard,myLord。
LordPowessedetractedfromthepowerofRome,AffirmingWickliffe’sdoctrinetobetrue,AndRome’serroneous。HotreplywasmadeBythelordHerbert,theyweretraitorsallThatwouldmaintainit:Powesseanswered,Theywereastrue,asnoble,andaswiseAshe,thatwoulddefenditwiththeirlives;
HenamedforinstancesirJohnOld—castleTheLordCobham:Herbertrepliedagain,"He,thou,andallaretraitorsthatsohold。"
Theliewasgiven,theseveralfactionsdrawn,Andsoenraged,thatwecouldnotappeaseit。
FIRSTJUDGE。
ThiscaseconcernstheKing’sprerogative,And’sdangeroustotheStateandcommonwealth。
Gentlemen,Justices,masterMayor,andmasterShrieve,Itdothbehooveusall,andeachofusIngeneralandparticular,tohavecareForsuppressingofallmutinies,Andallassemblies,exceptsoldiers’mustersFortheKing’spreparationintoFrance。
Wehearofsecretconventiclesmade,Andthereisdoubtofsomeconspiracies,WhichmaybreakoutintorebelliousarmsWhentheKing’sgone,perchancebeforehego:
Noteasaninstance,thisoneperilousfray;
Whatfactionsmighthavegrownoneitherpart,TothedestructionoftheKingandRealm。
Yet,inmyconscience,sirJohnOld—castle,Innocentofit,onlyhisnamewasused。
We,therefore,fromhisHighnessgivethischarge:
You,masterMayor,looktoyourcitizens;
You,masterSheriff,untoyourshire;andyouAsJustices,ineveryone’sprecinct,Therebenomeetings。WhenthevulgarsortSitontheirAle—bench,withtheircupsandcans,Mattersofstatebenottheircommontalk,Norpurereligionbytheirlipsprofaned。
LetusreturnuntotheBenchagain,Andthereexaminefurtherofthisfray。
[EnteraBailiffandaServant。]
SHERIFF。
Sirs,haveyetakenthelordPowesseyet?
BAILIFF。
No,norheardofhim。
SERVANT。
No,he’sgonefarenough。
SECONDJUDGE。
Theythatareleftbehindshallanswerall。
[Exeunt。]
ACTI。SCENEII。Eltham。Anantechamberinthepalace。
[EnterSuffolk,BishopofRochester,Butler,parsonofWrotham。]
SUFFOLK。
Now,mylordBishop,takefreelibertyTospeakyourmind:whatisyoursuittous?
BISHOP。
MynobleLord,nomorethanwhatyouknow,Andhavebeenoftentimesinvestedwith:
GrievouscomplaintshavepastbetweenthelipsOfenviouspersonstoupbraidtheClergy,Somecarpingatthelivingswhichwehave,AndothersspurningattheceremoniesThatareofancientcustominthechurch。
Amongstthewhich,LordCobhamisachief:
Whatinconveniencemayproceedhereof,BothtotheKingandtothecommonwealth,Mayeasilybediscerned,whenlikeafrenzyThisinnovationshallpossesstheirminds。
Theseupstartswillhavefollowers,toupholdTheirdamnedopinion,morethanHarryshallToundergohisquarrelgainsttheFrench。
SUFFOLK。
Whatproofisthereagainstthemtobehad,Thatwhatyousaythelawmayjustify?
BISHOP。
TheygivethemselvesthenameofProtestants,Andmeetinfieldsandsolitarygroves。
SIRJOHN。
Waseverheard,myLord,theliketilnow?
Thatthievesandrebels——sblood,heretics,Plainheretics,I’llstandtoothtotheirteeth——
Shouldhave,tocolourtheirvilepractices,AtitleofsuchworthasProtestant?
[Enteronewithaletter。]
SUFFOLK。
O,butyoumustnotswear;itillbecomesOneofyourcoattorapoutbloodyoaths。
BISHOP。
Pardonhim,goodmyLord,itishiszeal;
Anhonestcountryprelate,wholamentsToseesuchfouldisorderinthechurch。
SIRJOHN。
There’sone——theycallhimSirJohnOld—castle——
Hehasnothisnamefornaught:forlikeacastleDothheencompassthemwithinhiswalls;
Buttillthatcastlebesubvertedquite,Wene’ershallbeatquietintherealm。
BISHOP。
Thatisnotoursuit,myLord,thathebeta’en,Andbroughtinquestionforhisheresy。
Beside,twolettersbroughtmeoutofWales,WhereinmyLordHerefordwritestome,Whattumultandseditionwasbegun,AbouttheLordCobhamattheSisesthere,(Fortheyhadmuchadothecalmtherage),AndthatthevaliantHerbertisthereslain。
SUFFOLK。
Afirethatmustbequenched。Well,saynomore,TheKinganongoestothecounselchamber,TheretodebateofmatterstouchingFrance:
Ashedothpassby,I’llinformhisgraceConcerningyourpetition:MasterButler,IfIforget,doyourememberme。
BUTLER。
Iwill,myLord。
[Offerhimapurse。]
BISHOP。
Notforarecompence,Butasatokenofourlovetoyou,BymemyLordsoftheclergydopresentThispurse,andinitfullathousandAngels,PrayingyourLordshiptoaccepttheirgift。
SUFFOLK。
Ithankthem,myLordBishop,fortheirlove,Butwillnottaketheymoney;ifyoupleaseTogiveittothisgentleman,youmay。
BISHOP。
Sir,thenwecraveyourfurtheranceherein。
BUTLER。
ThebestIcan,myLordofRochester。
BISHOP。
Nay,prayyetakeit;trustmebutyoushall。
SIRJOHN。
——WereyealltheeuponNewMarketheath,Youshouldnotneedstraincurtseywhoshouldha’t;
SirJohnwouldquicklyridyeofthatcare。
SUFFOLK。
TheKingiscoming。Fearyenot,myLord;
TheveryfirstthingIwillbreakwithhimShallbeaboutyourmatter。
[EnterKingHenryandHuntingtonintalk。]
KING。
MyLordofSuffolk,WasitnotsaidtheClergydidrefuseTolendusmoneytowardourwarsinFrance?
SUFFOLK。
Itwas,myLord,butverywrongfully。
KING。
Iknowitwas,forHuntingtonheretellsme,Theyhavebeenverybountifuloflate。
SUFFOLK。
Andstilltheyvow,mygraciousLord,tobeso,HopingyourmajestywillthinkofthemAsofyourlovingsubjects,andsuppressAllsuchmaliciouserrorsasbeginTospottheircalling,anddisturbthechurch。
KING。
Godelseforbid:why,Suffolk,isthereAnynewrupturetodisquietthem?
SUFFOLK。
Nonew,myLord;theoldisgreatenough,Andsoincreasingas,ifnotcutdown,Willbreedascandaltoyourroyalstate,AndsetyourKingdomquicklyinanuproar。
TheKentishknight,LordCobham,indespiteOfanylaw,orspiritualdiscipline,Maintainsthisupstartnewreligionstill,AnddiversgreatassembliesbyhismeansAndprivatequarrelsarecommencedabroad,Asbythislettermoreatlarge,myliege,Ismadeapparent。
KING。
Wedofindithere:
TherewasinWalesacertainfrayoflate,Betweentwonoblemen,butwhatofthis?
Followsitstraight,LordCobhammustbeheDidcausethesame?Idarebesworn,goodknight,Heneverdreamtofanysuchcontention。
BISHOP。
Butinhisnamethequarreldidbegin,Abouttheopinionwhichheheld,myliege。
KING。
Howifitdid?waseitherheinplace,Totakepartwiththem,orabettheminit?
Ifbrablingfellows,whoseinkindledblood,Seethesintheirfieryveins,willneedsgofight,MakingtheirquarrelsofsomewordsthatpastEitherofyou,oryou,amongsttheircups,Isthefaultyours,oraretheyguiltyofit?
SUFFOLK。
WithpardonofyourHighness,mydreadlord,Suchlittlesparks,neglected,mayintimeGrowtoamightflame:butthat’snotall;
Hedoth,beside,maintainastrangereligion,Andwillnotbecompelledtocometomass。
BISHOP。
Wedobeseechyou,therefore,graciousprince,Withoutoffenceuntoyourmajesty,Wemaybeboldtouseauthority。
KING。
Ashow?
BISHOP。
TosummonhimuntotheArches,Wheresuchoffenceshavetheirpunishment。
KING。
Toanswerpersonally?isthatyourmeaning?
BISHOP。
Itis,mylord。
KING。
How,ifheappeal?
BISHOP。
Hecannot,myLord,insuchacaseasthis。
SUFFOLK。
NotwhereReligionistheplea,mylord。
KING。
Itookitalways,thatourselfstoodout,Asasufficientrefuge,untowhomNotanybutmightlawfullyappeal。
Butwe’llnotarguenowuponthatpoint。
ForSirJohnOld—castle,whomyouaccuse,LetmeentreatyoutodispenceawhileWithyourhightitleofpre—eminence。
[Inscorn。]
Reportdidneveryetcondemnhimso,Buthehathalwaysbeenreputedloyal:
AndinmyknowledgeIcansaythusmuch,Thatheisvirtuous,wise,andhonourable。
Ifanywayhisconsciencebeseduced,Towaverinhisfaith,I’llsendforhim,Andschoolhimprivately;ifthatservenot,Thenafterwardyoumayproceedagainsthim。
Butler,beyouthemessengerforus,Andwillhimpresentlyrepairtocourt。
[Exeunt。]
SIRJOHN。
Hownow,mylord,whystandyoudiscontent?
Insooth,methinkstheKinghathwelldecreed。
BISHOP。
Yea,yea,sirJohn,ifhewouldkeephisword;
ButIperceivehefavourshimsomuch,Asthiswillbetosmalleffect,Ifear。
SIRJOHN。
Why,then,I’lltellyouwhaty’arebetstodo:
IfyoususpecttheKingwillbebutcoldInreprehendinghim,sendyouaprocesstooToserveuponhim:soyoumaybesureTomakehimanswer’t,howsoe’eritfall。
BISHOP。
Andwellremembered!Iwillhaveitso。
ASumnershallbesentaboutitstraight。
[Exit。]
SIRJOHN。
Yea,doso。InthemeanspacethisremainsForkindsirJohnofWrotham,honestJack。
MethinksthepurseofgoldtheBishopgaveMadeagoodshow;ithadatemptinglook。
Beshrewme,butmyfingers’endstoitchTobeuponthoserudduks。Well,tisthus:
Iamnotastheworlddoestakemefor;
Ifeverwolfwereclothedinsheep’scoat,ThenIamhe,——oldhuddleandtwang,yfaith,Apriestinshow,butinplaintermsathief。
Yet,letmetellyoutoo,anhonestthief,Onethatwilltakeitwhereitmaybespared,Andspenditfreelyingoodfellowship。
IhaveasmanyshapesasProteushad,Thatstill,whenanyvillainyisdone,TheremaybenonesuspectitwassirJohn。
Besides,tocomfortme,——forwhat’sthislife,Exceptthecrabbedbitternessthereof,Besweetenednowandthenwithlechery?——
IhavemyDoll,myconcubine,astwere,Tofrolicwith,alustybouncinggirl。
ButwhilstIloiterhere,thegoldmayscape,Andthatmustnotbeso。Itismineown;
Therefore,I’llmeethimonhiswaytocourt,Andshrivehimofit:therewillbethesport。
[Exit。]
ACTI。SCENEIII。Kent。AnoutercourtbeforelordCobham’shouse。
[Enterthreeorfourpoorpeople:somesoldiers,someoldmen。]
FIRST。
Godhelp!Godhelp!there’slawforpunishing,Butthere’snolawforournecessity:
Therebemorestockstosetpoorsoldiersin,Thantherebehousestorelievethemat。
OLDMAN。
Faith,housekeepingdecaysineveryplace,EvenasSaintPeterwrit,stillworseandworse。
FOURTH。
MastermayorofRochesterhasgivencommandment,thatnoneshallgoabroadoutoftheparish;andtheyhavesetanorderdownforsooth,whateverypoorhouseholdermustgivetowardsourrelief:wheretherebesomeceased,Imaysaytoyou,hadalmostasmuchneedtobegaswe。
FIRST。
Itisahardworldthewhile。
OLDMAN。
IfapoormancometoadoortoaskforGod’ssake,theyaskhimforalicense,oracertificatefromaJustice。
SECOND。
Faithwehavenonebutwhatwebearuponourbodies,ourmaimedlimbs,Godhelpus。
FOURTH。
Andyet,aslameasIam,I’llwiththekingintoFrance,ifIcancrawlbutashipboard。IhadratherbeslaininFrance,thanstarveinEngland。
OLDMAN。
Ha,wereIbutaslustyasIwasatthebattleofShrewbury,IwouldnotdoasIdo:butwearenowcometothegoodlordCobham’s,tothebestmantothepoorthatisinallKent。
FOURTH。
Godblesshim!therebebutfewsuch。
[EnterLordCobhamwithHarpoole。]
COBHAM。
Thoupeevish,frowardman,whatwouldstthouhave?
HARPOOLE。
Thispride,thispride,bringsalltobeggary。
Iservedyourfather,andyourgrandfather;
Showmesuchtwomennow!
No!No!Yourbacks,yourbacks,thedevilandpride,Hascutthethroatofallgoodhousekeeping。——
TheywerethebestYeomens’masters,ThateverwereinEngland。
COBHAM。
Yea,exceptthouhaveacrewofseelyknavesAndsturdyroguesstillfeedingatmygate,Thereisnohospitalitywiththee。
HARPOOLE。
Theymaysitatthegatwellenough,butthedevilofanythingyougivethem,excepttheywilleatstones。
COBHAM。
Tislong,then,ofsuchhungryknavesasyou。
[Pointingtothebeggars。]
Yea,sir,here’syourretinue;yourguestsbecome。
Theyknowtheirhours,Iwarrantyou。
OLDMAN。
Godblessyourhonour!GodsavethegoodLordCobhamAndallhishouse!
SOLDIER。
Goodyourhonour,bestowyourblessedalmsUponpoormen。
COBHAM。
Now,sir,herebeyourAlmsknights。NowareyouAssafeastheEmperour。
HARPOOLE。
MyAlmsknights!nay,th’areyours。
Itisashameforyou,andI’llstandtoo’t;
Yourfoolishalmsmaintainsmorevagabonds,ThanallthenoblemeninKentbeside。
Out,yourogues,youknaves!workforyourlivings!——
Alas,poormen!OLord,theymaybegtheirheartsout,There’snomorecharityamongstmenthanamongstSomanymastiffdogs!——Whatmakeyouhere,Youneedyknaves?Away,away,youvillains。
SECONDSOLDIER。
Ibeseechyou,sir,begoodtous。
COBHAM。
Nay,nay,theyknowtheewellenough。Ithinkthatallthebeggarsinthislandarethyacquaintance。Gobestowyouralms;nonewillcontrolyou,sir。
HARPOOLE。
WhatshouldIgivethem?youaregrownsobeggarly,youhavescarceabitofbreadtogiveatyourdoor。Youtalkofyourreligionsolong,thatyouhavebanishedcharityfromamongstyou;amanmaymakeaflaxshopinyourkitchenchimneys,foranyfirethereisstirring。
COBHAM。
Ifthouwiltgivethemnothing,sendthemhence:letthemnotstandherestarvinginthecold。
HARPOOLE。
Who!Idrivethemhence?IfIdrivepoormenfromyourdoor,I’llbehanged;IknownotwhatImaycometomyself。Yea,Godhelpyou,poorknaves;yeseetheworld,yfaith!Well,youhadamother:well,Godbewiththee,goodLady;thysoul’satrest。Shegavemoreinshirtsandsmockstopoorchildren,thanyouspendinyourhouse,&yetyouliveabeggartoo。
COBHAM。
Eventheworstdeedthateremymotherdidwasinrelievingsuchafoolasthou。
HARPOOLE。
Yea,yea,Iamafoolstill。Withallyourwityouwilldieabeggar;gotoo。
COBHAM。
Go,youoldfool;givethepoorpeoplesomething。Goin,poormen,intotheinnercourt,andtakesuchalmsasthereistobehad。
SOLDIER。
Godblessyourhonor。
HARPOOLE。
Hangyou,rogues,hangyou;there’snothingbutmiseryamongstyou;youfearnolaw,you。
[Exit。]
OLDMAN。
Godblessyou,goodmasterRafe,Godsaveyourlife;
youaregoodtothepoorstill。
[EntertheLordPowisdisguised,andshroudhimself。]
COBHAM。
Whatfellow’syondercomesalongthegrove?
Fewpassengerstherebethatknowthisway:
Methinkshestopsasthoughhestayedforme,Andmeanttoshroudhimselfamongstthebushes。
IknowtheClergyhatemetothedeath,Andmyreligiongetsmemanyfoes:
Andthismaybesomedesperaterogue,subornedToworkmemischief。——AsitpleasethGod!
Ifhecometowardme,sureI’llstayhiscoming——
Behebutoneman——whatso’erhebe。
[TheLordPowiscomeson。]
Ihavebeenwellacquaintedwiththatface。
POWIS。
Wellmet,myhonorablelordandfriend。
COBHAM。
Youarewelcome,sir,whatereyoube;
Butofthissudden,sir,Idonotknowyou。
POWIS。
Iamonethatwishethwelluntoyourhonor;
MynameisPowis,anoldfriendofyours。
COBHAM。
Myhonorablelord,andworthyfriend,WhatmakesyourlordshipthusaloneinKent,Andthusdisguisedinthisstrangeattire?
POWIS。
MyLord,anunexpectedaccidentHathatthistimeinforc’dmetotheseparts;
Andthusithapt:——Notyetfullfivedayssince,NowatthelastAssizeatHereford,ItchancedthatthelordHerbertandmyself,Mongstotherthings,discoursingatthetable,DidfallinspeechaboutsomecertainpointsOfWickliffe’sdoctrinegainstthepapacyAndthereligioncatholique,maintainedThroughthemostpartofEuropeatthisday。
ThiswilfulteastylordstucknottosayThatWickliffewasaknave,aschismatic,Hisdoctrinedevilishandheretical,Andwhatsoe’erhewasmaintainedthesame,WastraitorbothtoGodandtohiscountry。
Beingmovedathisperemptoryspeech,Itoldhimsomemaintainedthoseopinions,Men,andtruersubjectsthanlordHerbertwas:
Andhereplyingincomparisons,Yournamewasurged,mylord,gainsthischallenge,Tobeaperfectfavourerofthetruth。
Andtobeshort,fromwordswefelltoblows,Ourservantsandourtenantstakingparts——
Manyonbothsideshurt——andforanhourThebroilbynomeanscouldbepacified,UntiltheJudges,risingfromthebench,Wereintheirpersonsforcedtopartthefray。
COBHAM。
Ihopenomanwasviolentlyslain。
POWIS。
Faith,none,Itrust,butthelordHerbert’sself,Whoisintruthsodangerouslyhurt,Asitisdoubtedhecanhardlyscape。
COBHAM。
Iamsorry,mygoodlord,oftheseillnews。
POWIS。
ThisisthecausethatdrivesmeintoKent,Toshroudmyselfwithyou,sogoodafriend,UntilIhearhowthingsdospeedathome。
COBHAM。
YourlordshipismostwelcomeuntoCobham;
ButIamverysorry,mygoodlord,Mynamewasbroughtinquestioninthismatter,ConsideringIhavemanyenemies,Thatthreatenmalice,anddolieinwaitTotakeadvantageofthesmallestthing。
Butyouarewelcome:andreposeyourlordship,Andkeepyourselfheresecretinmyhouse,UntilwehearhowthelordHerbertspeeds。
Herecomesmyman。
[EnterHarpoole。]
Sirra,whatnews?
HARPOOLE。
Yonder’sonemasterButleroftheprivychamber,issentuntoyoufromtheKing。
POWIS。
IprayGodthelordHerbertbenotdead,AndtheKing,hearingwhitherIamgone,Hathsentforme。
COBHAM。
Comfortyourselfmylord,Iwarrantyou。
HARPOOLE。
Fellow,whatailsthee?doostthouquake?dostthoushake?dostthoutremble?ha?
COBHAM。
Peace,youoldfool!Sirra,conveythisgentlemaninthebackway,andbringtheotherintothewalk。
HARPOOLE。
Come,sir;youarewelcome,ifyoulovemylord。
POWIS。
Godhavemercy,gentlefriend。
[Exeunt。]
COBHAM。
Ithoughtasmuch:thatitwouldnotbelong,BeforeIheardofsomethingfromtheKingAboutthismatter。
[EnterHarpoolewithMasterButler。]
HARPOOLE。
Sir,yondermylordwalks,youseehim;
I’llhaveyourmenintotheCellarthewhile。
COBHAM。
Welcome,goodmasterButler。
BUTLER。
Thanks,mygoodlord:hisMajestydothcommendHisloveuntoyourlordship,Andwillsyoutorepairuntothecourt。
COBHAM。
GodblesshisHighness,andconfoundhisenemies!
IhopehisMajestyiswell。
BUTLER。
Inhealth,mylord。
COBHAM。
Godlongcontinueit!MethinksyoulookAsthoughyouwerenotwell:whatailsyou,sir?
BUTLER。
Faith,Ihavehadafoolishoddmischance,Thatangersme:comingoverShootershill,TherecameafellowtomelikeaSailor,Andaskedmemoney;andwhilstIstayedmyhorseTodrawmypurse,hetakesth’advantageofAlittlebankandleapsbehindme,whipsMypurseaway,andwithasuddenjerk,Iknownothow,threwmeatleastthreeyardsOutofmysaddle。IneverwassorobbedInallmylife。
COBHAM。
Iamverysorry,sir,foryourmischance。Wewillsendourwarrantforth,tostaysuchsuspiciouspersonsasshallbefound。Then,masterButler,wewillattendyou。
BUTLER。
Ihumblythankyourlordship,Iwillattendyou。
ACTII。SCENEI。Thesame。
[EntertheSumner。]
SUMNER。
IhavethelawtowarrantwhatIdo;andthoughtheLordCobhambeanobleman,thatdispensesnotwithlaw:Idareserveprocesswereafivenoblemen。
ThoughweSumnersmakesometimesamadslipinacornerwithaprettywench,aSumnermustnotgoalwaysbyseeing:amanmaybecontenttohidehiseyes,wherehemayfeelhisprofit。Well,thisismyLordCobham’shouseifIcandevisetospeakwithhim;ifnot,I’llclapmycitationupon’sdoor:somylordofRochesterbidme。Butmethinksherecomesoneofhismen。
[EnterHarpoole。]
HARPOOLE。
Welcome,goodfellow,welcome;whowouldstthouspeakwith?
SUMNER。
WithmylordCobhamIwouldspeak,ifthoubeoneofhismen。
HARPOOLE。
Yes,Iamoneofhismen,butthoucanstnotspeakwithmylord。
SUMNER。
MayIsendtohimthen?
HARPOOLE。
I’lltelltheethat,whenIknowthyerrand。
SUMNER。
Iwillnottellmyerrandtothee。
HARPOOLE。
Thenkeepittothyself,andwalklikeaknaveasthoucamest。
SUMNER。
Itellthee,mylordkeepsnoknaves,sirra。
HARPOOLE。
Thenthouservesthimnot,Ibelieve:whatlordisthymaster?
SUMNER
MylordofRochester。
HARPOOLE。
Ingoodtime!AndwhatwouldstthouhavewithmylordCobham?
SUMNER。
Icome,byvirtueofaprocess,toascitehimtoappearbeforemylordinthecourtatRochester。
HARPOOLE。
[Aside。]Well,Godgrantmepatience!Icouldeatthisconger。Mylordisnotathome;thereforeitweregood,Sumner,youcarriedyourprocessback。
SUMNER。
Why,ifhewillnotbespokenwithal,thenwillIleaveithere;andseeyouthathetakeknowledgeofit。
HARPOOLE。
Swounds,youslave,doyousetupyourbillshere!goto;
takeitdownagain。Doestthouknowwhatthoudost?
Dostthouknowonwhomthouservestprocess?
SUMNER。
Yes,marry,doI;SirJohnOld—castle,LordCobham。
HARPOOLE。
Iamgladthouknowesthimyet:and,sirra,dostnotthouknow,thatthelordCobhamisabravelord,thatkeepsgoodbeefandbeerinhishouse,andeverydayfeedsahundredpoorpeopleat’sgate,andkeepsahundredtallfellows?
SUMNER。
What’sthattomyprocess?
HARPOOLE。
Marry,this,sir!isthisprocessparchment?
SUMNER。
Yes,marry。
HARPOOLE。
Andthissealwax?
SUMNER。
Itisso。
HARPOOLE。
Ifthisbeparchment,&thiswax,eatyouthisparchmentandthiswax,orIwillmakeparchmentofyourskin,andbeatyourbrainsintowax:SirraSumner,dispatch;devour,sirra,devour。
SUMNER。
IammylordofRochester’sSumner;Icametodomyoffice,andthoushaltanswerit。
HARPOOLE。
Sirra,norailing,butbetakeyoutoyourteeth。Thoushalteatnoworsethanthoubringstwiththee:thoubringstitformylord,andwiltthoubringmylordworsethanthouwilteatthyself?
SUMNER。
Sirra,Ibroughtitnotmylordtoeat。
HARPOOLE。
O,doyousirmenow?all’soneforthat:butI’llmakeyoueatit,forbringingit。
SUMNER。
Icannoteatit。
HARPOOLE。
Canyounot?sbloodI’llbeatyouuntilyouhaveastomach。
[Hebeatshim。]
SUMNER。
Ohold,hold,goodmasterserving—man!Iwilleatit。
HARPOOLE。
Bechamping,bechawing,sir;orI’llchawyou,yourogue!thepurestofthehoney!Toughwaxisthepurestofthehoney。
SUMNER。
OLord,sir!oh!oh!
[Heeats。]
HARPOOLE。
Feed,feed!wholesome,rogue,wholesome!Cannotyou,likeanhonestSumner,walkwiththedevilyourbrother,tofetchinyourBailiffs’rents,butyoumustcometoanobleman’shousewithprocess?Sblood!ifthysealwereasbroadastheleadthatcoversRochesterchurch,thoushouldsteatit。
SUMNER。
O,Iamalmostchoked!Iamalmostchoked!
HARPOOLE。
Who’swithinthere?willyoushamemyLord?istherenobeerinthehouse?Butler!Isay。
[EnterButler。]
BUTLER。
Here,here。
HARPOOLE。
GivehimBeer。
[Hedrinks。]
There;tougholdsheepskin’sbare,drymeat。
SUMNER。
Osir,letmegonofurther;I’lleatmyword。
HARPOOLE。
Yea,marry,sit!soImean:youshalleatmorethanyourownword,forI’llmakeyoueatallthewordsintheprocess。
Why,youdrabmonger,cannotthesecretsofallthewenchesinashireserveyourturn,butyoumustcomehitherwithacitation?withapox!I’llciteyou。[Hehasthendone。]A
cupofsackfortheSumner。
BUTLER。
Here,sir,here。
HARPOOLE。
Here,slave,Idrinktothee。
SUMNER。
Ithankyou,sir。
HARPOOLE。
Nowifthoufindstthystomachwell——becausethoushaltseemyLordkeep’smeatin’shouse——ifthouwiltgoin,thoushalthaveapieceofbeeftothebreakfast。
SUMNER。
No,Iamverywell,goodMasterserving—man,Ithankyou;verywellsir。
HARPOOLE。
Iamgladon’t。ThenbewalkingtowardsRochestertokeepyourstomachwarm;andSumner,ifImayknowyoudisturbagoodwenchwithinthisDiocese;ifIdonotmaketheeeatherpetticoat,iftherewerefouryardsofKentishclothin’t,Iamavillain。
SUMNER。
Godbewithyou,Masterserving—man。
[Exit。]
HARPOOLE。
Farewell,Sumner。
[EnterConstable。]
CONSTABLE。
GodsaveyouMasterHarpoole。
HARPOOLE。
Welcome,Constable,welcome,Constable;whatnewswiththee?
CONSTABLE。
And’tpleaseyou,MasterHarpoole,Iamtomakehueandcry,forafellowwithoneeyethathasrobbedtwoClothiers,andamtocraveyourhindrance,fortosearchallsuspectedplaces;andtheysaytherewasawomaninthecompany。
HARPOOLE。
HastthoubeenattheAlehouse?hastthousoughtthere?
CONSTABLE。
Idurstnotsearch,sir,inmyLordCobham’sliberty,exceptI
hadsomeofhisservants,whichareformywarrant。
HARPOOLE。
AnhonestConstable!anhonestConstable!CallforthhimthatkeepstheAlehousehere。
CONSTABLE。
Ho!who’swithinthere?
[EnterAle—man。]
ALEMAN。
Whocallsthere?comenearaGod’sname!Oh,is’tyou,MasterConstableandMasterHarpoole?youarewelcomewithallmyheart。Whatmakeyouheresoearlythismorning?
HARPOOLE。
Sirra,whatstrangersdoyoulodge?thereisarobberydonethismorning,andwearetosearchforallsuspectedpersons。
ALEMAN。
God’sbores!Iamsorryfor’t:yfaith,sir,Ilodgenobodybutagoodhonestmerrypriest,——theycallhimsirJohnaWrotham——
andahandsomewomanthatishisniece,thathesayshehassomesuitinlawfor;andastheygoup&downtoLondon,sometimestheylieatmyhouse。
HARPOOLE。
What,ishehereinthyhousenow?
ALEMAN。
Sheis,sir。Ipromiseyou,sir,heisaquietman;andbecausehewillnottroubletoomanyrooms,hemakesthewomanlieeverynightathisbed’sfeet。
HARPOOLE。
Bringherforth!Constable,bringherforth!let’sseeher,let’sseeher。
ALEMAN。
Dorothy,youmustcomedowntoMasterConstable。
DOLL。
Anon,forsooth。
[Sheenters。]
HARPOOLE。
Welcome,sweetlass,welcome。
DOLL。
Ithankyou,goodMasterserving—man,andmasterConstablealso。
HARPOOLE。
Aplumpgirlbythemass,aplumpgirl!Ha,Doll,ha!
Wiltthouforsakethepriest,andgowithme?
CONSTABLE。
A!wellsaid,MasterHarpoole;youareamerryoldman,yfaith。Yfaith,youwillneverbeold。Now,bythemack,aprettywenchindeed!
HARPOOLE。
YeoldmadmerryConstable,artthouadvisedofthat。Ha,wellsaid,Doll!fillsomealehere。
DOLL。
[Aside。]Oh,ifIwistthisoldpriestwouldnotsticktome,byJove,Iwouldinglethisoldserving—man。
HARPOOLE。
Ohyouoldmadcolt!yfaith,I’llfeakyou!fillallthepotsinthehousethere。
CONSTABLE。
Oh,wellsaid,MasterHarpoole!youareheartofoakwhenall’sdone。
HARPOOLE。
Ha,Doll,thouhastasweetpairoflips,bythemass。
DOLL。
Trulyyouareamostsweetoldman,aseverIsaw;bymytroth,youhaveaface,abletomakeanywomaninlovewithyou。
HARPOOLE。
Fill,sweetDoll;I’lldrinktothee。
DOLL。
’Ipledgeyou,sir,andthankyoutherefore,AndIprayyouletitcome。’
HARPOOLE。
[Embracingher。]Doll,canstthouloveme?Amadmerrylass!wouldtoGodIhadneverseenthee!
DOLL。
Iwarrantyou,youwillnotoutofmythoughtsthistwelvemonth;trulyyouareasfulloffavour,asamanmaybe。
Ah,thesesweetgreylocks!bymytroth,theyaremostlovely。
CONSTABLE。
Godboores,masterHarpoole,Iwillhaveonebusstoo。
HARPOOLE。
Nolickingforyou,Constable!handoff,handoff!
CONSTABLE。
Burlady,Ilovekissingaswellasyou。
DOLL。
Oh,youareanoddboy;youhaveawantoneyeofyourown!
ah,yousweetsugarlippedwanton,youwillwinasmanywomen’sheartsascomeinyourcompany。
[EnterPriest。]
WROTHAM。
Doll,comehither。
HARPOOLE。
Priest,sheshallnot。
DOLL。
I’llcomeanon,sweetlove。
WROTHAM。
Handoff,oldfornicator。
HARPOOLE。
Vicar,I’llsithereinspiteofthee。Isthisfitstuffforapriesttocarryupanddownwithhim?
WROTHAM。
Ah,sirra,dostthounotknowthatagoodfellowparsonmayhaveachapelofease,wherehisparishChurchisfaroff?
HARPOOLE。
YouwhoresonstonedVicar!
WROTHAM。
Youoldstaleruffin!youlionofCotswold!
HARPOOLE。
Swounds,Vicar,I’llgeldyou!
[Fliesuponhim。]
CONSTABLE。
KeeptheKing’speace!
DOLL。
Murder!murder!murder!
ALEMAN。
Hold!asyouaremen,hold!forGod’ssakebequiet!Putupyourweapons;youdrawnotinmyhouse。
HARPOOLE。
Youwhoresonbawdypriest!
WROTHAM。
Youoldmuttonmonger!
CONSTABLE。
Hold,sirJohn,hold!
DOLL。
[TothePriest。]Ipraythee,sweethear,bequiet。Iwasbutsittingtodrinkapotofalewithhim,evenaskindamanaseverImetwith。
HARPOOLE。
Thouartathief,Iwarrantthee。
WROTHAM。
ThenIambutasthouhastbeeninthydays。Let’snotbeashamedofourtrade;theKinghasbeenathiefhimself。
DOLL。
Come,bequiet。Hastthousped?
WROTHAM。
Ihave,wench:herebecrowns,yfaith。
DOLL。
Come,let’sbeallfriendsthen。
CONSTABLE。
Wellsaid,mistressDorothy,yfaith。
HARPOOLE。
ThouartthemaddestpriestthateverImetwith。
WROTHAM。
Givemethyhand,thouartasgoodafellow。Iamasinger,adrinker,abencher,awencher!Icansayamass,andkissalass!Faith,Ihaveaparsonage,andbecauseIwouldnotbeattoomuchcharges,thiswenchservesmeforasexton。
HARPOOLE。
Wellsaid,madpriest,we’llinandbefriends。
[Exeunt。]
ACTII。SCENEII。London。AroomintheAxeInn,withoutBishop—gate。
[EntersirRogerActon,masterBourne,masterBeverly,andWilliamMurleythebrewerofDunstable。]
ACTON。
Now,masterMurley,IamwellassuredYouknowourarrant,anddolikethecause,Beingamanaffectedasweare。
MURLEY。
Mary,Goddildye,daintymydear!nomaster,goodsirRogerActonKnight,masterBourne,andmasterBeverlyesquires,gentlemen,andjusticesofthepeace——nomasterI,butplainWilliamMurley,thebrewerofDunstable,yourhonestneighbour,andyourfriend,ifyebemenofmyprofession。
BEVERLY。
ProfessedfriendstoWickliffe,foestoRome。
MURLEY。
Holdbyme,lad;leanuponthatstaff,goodmasterBeverly:allofahouse。Sayyourmind,sayyourmind。
ACTON。
Youknowourfactionnowisgrownsogreat,Throughouttherealm,thatitbeginstosmokeIntotheClergy’seyes,andtheKing’sear。
Hightimeitisthatweweredrawntohead,Ourgeneralandofficersappointed;
Andwars,yewot,willaskgreatstoreofcoin。
Abletostrengthouractionwithyourpurse,YouareelectedforacolonelOveraregimentoffifteenbands。
MURLEY。
Fue,paltry,paltry!inandout,toandfro!beitmoreorless,uponoccasion。Lordhavemercyuponus,whataworldisthis!SirRogerActon,IambutaDunstableman,aplainbrewer,yeknow:willlustyCavalieringcaptains,gentlemen,comeatmycalling,goatmybidding?Daintymydear,they’lldoagodofwax,ahorseorcheese,aprickandapudding。No,no,yemustappointsomelord,orknightatleast,tothatplace。
BOURNE。
Why,masterMurley,youshallbeaKnight:
Wereyounotinelectiontobeshrieve?
Haveyenotpastallofficesbutthat?
Haveyenotwealthtomakeyourwifealady?
Iwarrantyou,mylord,ourGeneralBestowsthathonoronyouatfirstsight。
MURLEY。
Mary,Goddildye,daintymydear!
Buttellme,whoshallbeourGeneral?
Where’sthelordCobham,sirJohnOld—castle,Thatnoblealms—giver,housekeeper,virtuous,Religiousgentleman?Cometomethere,boys,Cometomethere!
ACTON。
Why,whobutheshallbeourGeneral?
MURLEY。
Andshallheknightme,andmakemecolonel?
ACTON。
Mywordforthat:sirWilliamMurley,knight。
MURLEY。
FellowsirRogerActon,knight,allfellows——Imeaninarms——howstrongarewe?howmanypartners?OurenemiesbesidetheKingaremight:beitmoreorlessuponoccasion,reckonourforce。
ACTON。
Thereareofus,ourfriends,andfollowers,Threethousandandthreehundredattheleast;
Ofnorthernladsfourthousand,besidehorse;
>FromKenttherecomeswithsirJohnOld—castleSeventhousand;thenfromLondonissueout,Ofmasters,servants,strangers,prentices,FortyoddthousandsintoFicketfield,Whereweappointourspecialrendezvous。
MURLEY。
Fue,paltry,paltry,inandout,toandfro!Lordhavemercyuponus,whataworldisthis!Where’sthatFicketfield,sirRoger?
ACTON。
BehindsaintGilesinthefieldnearHolborne。
MURLEY。
Newgate,upHolborne,S。Gilesinthefield,andtoTiborne:anoldsaw。Fortheday,fortheday?
ACTON。
OnFridaynext,thefourteenthdayofJanuary。
MURLEY。
Tyllievallie,trustmeneverifIhaveanylikingofthatday!fue,paltry,paltry!Friday,quotha!Dismalday!
ChildermassdaythisyearwasFriday。
BEVERLY。
Nay,masterMurley,ifyouobservethedays,Wemakesomequestionofyourconstancy。
Alldaysareliketomenresolvedinright。
MURLEY。
SayAmen,andsaynomore;butsay,andhold,masterBeverly:Fridaynext,andFicketfield,andWilliamMurley,andhismerrymenshallbeallone。Ihavehalfascorejadesthatdrawmybeercarts,Andeveryjadeshallbearaknave,Andeveryknaveshallwearajack,Andeveryjackshallhaveaskull,Andeveryskullshallshewaspear,AndeveryspearshallkillafoeAtFicketfield,atFicketfield。
JohnandTom,andDickandHodge,AndRafeandRobin,William&George,Andallmyknavesshallfightlikemen,AtFicketfieldonFridaynext。
BOURNE。
Whatsumofmoneymeanyoutodisburse?
MURLEY。
Itmaybemodestly,decently,soberly,andhandsomelyImaybringfivehundredpound。
ACTON。
Fivehundred,man!fivethousand’snotenough!
AhundredthousandwillnotpayourmenTwomonthstogether。EithercomepreparedLikeabraveKnight,andmartialColonel,Inglitteringgold,andgallantfurniture,Bringingincoinacartloadatheleast,Andallyourfollowersmountedongoodhorse,Ornevercomedisgracefultousall。
BEVERLY。
PerchanceyoumaybechosenTreasurer。
Tenthousandpound’stheleastthatyoucanbring。
MURLEY。
Paltry,paltry!inandout,toandfro,uponoccasionI
havetenthousandpoundtospend,andtentoo。AndratherthantheBishopshallhavehiswillofmeformyconscience,itshalloutall。Flameandflax,flameandflax!itwasgotwithwaterandmalt,anditshallflywithfireandgunpowder。SirRoger,acartloadofmoneytilltheaxetreecrack,myselfandmymeninFicketfieldonFridaynext:remembermyKnighthood,andmyplace。There’smyhand;I’llbethere。
[Exit。]
ACTON。
SeewhatAmbitionmaypersuademento,Inhopeofhonorhewillspendhimself。
BOURNE。
IneverthoughtaBrewerhalfsorich。
BEVERLY。
WasneverbankeroutBreweryetbutone,Withusingtoomuchmalt,toolittlewater。
ACTON。
That’snofaultinBrewersnow—adays。
Come,away,aboutourbusiness。
[Exeunt。]
ACTII。SCENEIII。Anaudience—chamberinthepalaceatEltham。
[EnterKingHenry,Suffolk,Butler,andOld—castlekneelingtotheKing。]
KING。
Tisnotenough,LordCobham,tosubmit;
Youmustforsakeyourgrossopinion。
TheBishopsfindthemselvesmuchinjured,Andthough,forsomegoodserviceyouhavedone,Weforourpartarepleasedtopardonyou,Yettheywillnotsosoonbesatisfied。
COBHAM。
MygraciousLord,untoyourMajesty,NextuntomyGod,Iowemylife:
Andwhatismine,eitherbynature’sgift,Orfortune’sbounty,allisatyourservice。
But,forobediencetothePopeofRome,Iowehimnone,norshallhisshavelingpriestsThatareinEnglandaltermybelief。
IfoutofholyScripturetheycanprove,ThatIaminanerrorIwillyield,Andgladlytakeinstructionattheirhands;
Butotherwise,Idobeseechyourgrace,Myconsciencemaynotbeencroachedupon。
KING。
Wewouldbeloathtopressoursubjects’bodies,Muchlesstheirsouls,thedearredeemedpartOfhimthatistherulerofusall;
Yetletmecounselye,thatmightcommand:
Donotpresumetotemptthemwithillwords,NorsufferanymeetingstobehadWithinyourhouse,buttotheuttermost,Dispersetheflocksofthisnewgatheringsect。
COBHAM。