FourotherOystersfollowedthem，Andyetanotherfour；
　　Andthickandfasttheycameatlast，Andmore，andmore，andmore——
　　Allhoppingthroughthefrothywaves，Andscramblingtotheshore。
　　TheWalrusandtheCarpenterWalkedonamileorso，AndthentheyrestedonarockConvenientlylow：
　　AndallthelittleOystersstoodAndwaitedinarow。
　　"Thetimehascome，"theWalrussaid，"Totalkofmanythings：
　　Ofshoes——andships——andsealing—wax——
　　Ofcabbages——andkings——
　　Andwhytheseaisboilinghot——
　　Andwhetherpigshavewings。"
　　"Butwaitabit，"theOysterscried，"Beforewehaveourchat；
　　Forsomeofusareoutofbreath，Andallofusarefat!"
　　"Nohurry!"saidtheCarpenter。
　　Theythankedhimmuchforthat。
　　"Aloafofbread，"theWalrussaid，"Iswhatwechieflyneed：
　　PepperandvinegarbesidesAreverygoodindeed——
　　Nowifyou’rereadyOystersdear，Wecanbegintofeed。"
　　"Butnotonus!"theOysterscried，Turningalittleblue，"Aftersuchkindness，thatwouldbeAdismalthingtodo!"
　　"Thenightisfine，"theWalrussaid"Doyouadmiretheview？
　　"Itwassokindofyoutocome!
　　Andyouareverynice!"
　　TheCarpentersaidnothingbut"Cutusanotherslice：
　　Iwishyouwerenotquitesodeaf——
　　I’vehadtoaskyoutwice!"
　　"Itseemsashame，"theWalrussaid，"Toplaythemsuchatrick，Afterwe’vebroughtthemoutsofar，Andmadethemtrotsoquick!"
　　TheCarpentersaidnothingbut"Thebutter’sspreadtoothick!"
　　"Iweepforyou，"theWalrussaid。
　　"Ideeplysympathize。"
　　WithsobsandtearshesortedoutThoseofthelargestsize。
　　HoldinghispockethandkerchiefBeforehisstreamingeyes。
　　"OOysters，"saidtheCarpenter。
　　"You’vehadapleasantrun!
　　Shallwebetrottinghomeagain？"
　　Butanswercametherenone——
　　Andthatwasscarcelyodd，becauseThey’deateneveryone。’
　　`IliketheWalrusbest，’saidAlice：`becauseyouseehewasaLITTLEsorryforthepooroysters。’
　　`HeatemorethantheCarpenter，though，’saidTweedledee。
　　`Youseeheheldhishandkerchiefinfront，sothattheCarpentercouldn’tcounthowmanyhetook：contrariwise。’
　　`Thatwasmean!’Alicesaidindignantly。`ThenIliketheCarpenterbest——ifhedidn’teatsomanyastheWalrus。’
　　`Butheateasmanyashecouldget，’saidTweedledum。
　　Thiswasapuzzler。Afterapause，Alicebegan，`Well!TheywereBOTHveryunpleasantcharacters——’Hereshecheckedherselfinsomealarm，athearingsomethingthatsoundedtoherlikethepuffingofalargesteam—engineinthewoodnearthem，thoughshefeareditwasmorelikelytobeawildbeast。
　　`Arethereanylionsortigersabouthere？’sheaskedtimidly。
　　`It’sonlytheRedKingsnoring，’saidTweedledee。
　　`Comeandlookathim!’thebrotherscried，andtheyeachtookoneofAlice’shands，andledheruptowheretheKingwassleeping。
　　`Isn’theaLOVELYsight？’saidTweedledum。
　　Alicecouldn’tsayhonestlythathewas。Hehadatallrednight—capon，withatassel，andhewaslyingcrumpledupintoasortofuntidyheap，andsnoringloud——`fittosnorehisheadoff!’asTweedledumremarked。
　　`I’mafraidhe’llcatchcoldwithlyingonthedampgrass，’
　　saidAlice，whowasaverythoughtfullittlegirl。
　　`He’sdreamingnow，’saidTweedledee：`andwhatdoyouthinkhe’sdreamingabout？’
　　Alicesaid`Nobodycanguessthat。’
　　`Why，aboutYOU!’Tweedledeeexclaimed，clappinghishandstriumphantly。`Andifheleftoffdreamingaboutyou，wheredoyousupposeyou’dbe？’
　　`WhereIamnow，ofcourse，’saidAlice。
　　`Notyou!’Tweedledeeretortedcontemptuously。`You’dbenowhere。Why，you’reonlyasortofthinginhisdream!’
　　`IfthatthereKingwastowake，’addedTweedledum，`you’dgoout——bang!——justlikeacandle!’
　　`Ishouldn’t!’Aliceexclaimedindignantly。`Besides，ifI’M
　　onlyasortofthinginhisdream，whatareYOU，Ishouldliketoknow？’
　　`Ditto’saidTweedledum。
　　`Ditto，ditto’criedTweedledee。
　　HeshoutedthissoloudthatAlicecouldn’thelpsaying，`Hush!
　　You’llbewakinghim，I’mafraid，ifyoumakesomuchnoise。’
　　`Well，itnouseYOURtalkingaboutwakinghim，’saidTweedledum，`whenyou’reonlyoneofthethingsinhisdream。
　　Youknowverywellyou’renotreal。’
　　`IAMreal!’saidAliceandbegantocry。
　　`Youwon’tmakeyourselfabitreallerbycrying，’Tweedledeeremarked：`there’snothingtocryabout。’
　　`IfIwasn’treal，’Alicesaid——half—laughingthoughhertears，itallseemedsoridiculous——`Ishouldn’tbeabletocry。’
　　`Ihopeyoudon’tsupposethosearerealtears？’Tweedleduminterruptedinatoneofgreatcontempt。
　　`Iknowthey’retalkingnonsense，’Alicethoughttoherself：
　　`andit’sfoolishtocryaboutit。’Soshebrushedawayhertears，andwentonascheerfullyasshecould。`AtanyrateI’dbetterbegettingoutofthewood，forreallyit’scomingonverydark。Doyouthinkit’sgoingtorain？’
　　Tweedledumspreadalargeumbrellaoverhimselfandhisbrother，andlookedupintoit。`No，Idon’tthinkitis，’hesaid：`atleast——notunderHERE。Nohow。’
　　`ButitmayrainOUTSIDE？’
　　`Itmay——ifitchooses，’saidTweedledee：`we’venoobjection。Contrariwise。’
　　`Selfishthings!’thoughtAlice，andshewasjustgoingtosay`Good—night’andleavethem，whenTweedledumsprangoutfromundertheumbrellaandseizedherbythewrist。
　　`DoyouseeTHAT？’hesaid，inavoicechokingwithpassion，andhiseyesgrewlargeandyellowallinamoment，ashepointedwithatremblingfingeratasmallwhitethinglyingunderthetree。
　　`It’sonlyarattle，’Alicesaid，afteracarefulexaminationofthelittlewhitething。`NotarattleSNAKE，youknow，’sheaddedhastily，thinkingthathewasfrightened：onlyanoldrattle——quiteoldandbroken。’
　　`Iknewitwas!’criedTweedledum，beginningtostampaboutwildlyandtearhishair。`It’sspoilt，ofcourse!’HerehelookedatTweedledee，whoimmediatelysatdownontheground，andtriedtohidehimselfundertheumbrella。
　　Alicelaidherhanduponhisarm，andsaidinasoothingtone，`Youneedn’tbesoangryaboutanoldrattle。’
　　`Butitisn’told!’Tweedledumcried，inagreaterfurythanever。`It’snew，Itellyou——Iboughtityesterday——myniceNewRATTLE!’andhisvoicerosetoaperfectscream。
　　AllthistimeTweedledeewastryinghisbesttofolduptheumbrella，withhimselfinit：whichwassuchanextraordinarythingtodo，thatitquitetookoffAlice’sattentionfromtheangrybrother。Buthecouldn’tquitesucceed，anditendedinhisrollingover，bundledupintheumbrella，withonlyhisheadout：andtherehelay，openingandshuttinghismouthandhislargeeyes——’lookingmorelikeafishthananythingelse，’
　　Alicethought。
　　`Ofcourseyouagreetohaveabattle？’Tweedledumsaidinacalmertone。
　　`Isupposeso，’theothersulkilyreplied，ashecrawledoutoftheumbrella：`onlySHEmusthelpustodressup，youknow。’
　　Sothetwobrotherswentoffhand—in—handintothewood，andreturnedinaminutewiththeirarmsfullofthings——suchasbolsters，blankets，hearth—rugs，table—cloths，dish—coversandcoal—scuttles。`Ihopeyou’reagoodhandatpinningandtyingstrings？’Tweedledumremarked。`Everyoneofthesethingshasgottogoon，somehoworother。’
　　Alicesaidafterwardsshehadneverseensuchafussmadeaboutanythinginallherlife——thewaythosetwobustledabout——
　　andthequantityofthingstheyputon——andthetroubletheygaveherintyingstringsandfasteningbuttons——`Reallythey’llbemorelikebundlesofoldclothesthatanythingelse，bythetimethey’reready!’shesaidtoherself，asshearrangedabolsterroundtheneckofTweedledee，`tokeephisheadfrombeingcutoff，’ashesaid。
　　`Youknow，’headdedverygravely，`it’soneofthemostseriousthingsthatcanpossiblyhappentooneinabattle——togetone’sheadcutoff。’
　　Alicelaughedaloud：butshemanagedtoturnitintoacough，forfearofhurtinghisfeelings。
　　`DoIlookverypale？’saidTweedledum，cominguptohavehishelmettiedon。（HeCALLEDitahelmet，thoughitcertainlylookedmuchmorelikeasaucepan。）
　　`Well——yes——aLITTLE，’Alicerepliedgently。
　　`I’mverybravegenerally，’hewentoninalowvoice：`onlyto—dayIhappentohaveaheadache。’
　　`AndI’VEgotatoothache!’saidTweedledee，whohadoverheardtheremark。`I’mfarworseoffthanyou!’
　　`Thenyou’dbetternotfightto—day，’saidAlice，thinkingitagoodopportunitytomakepeace。
　　`WeMUSThaveabitofafight，butIdon’tcareaboutgoingonlong，’saidTweedledum。`What’sthetimenow？’
　　Tweedledeelookedathiswatch，andsaid`Half—pastfour。’
　　`Let’sfighttillsix，andthenhavedinner，’saidTweedledum。
　　`Verywell，’theothersaid，rathersadly：`andSHEcanwatchus——onlyyou’dbetternotcomeVERYclose，’headded：`I
　　generallyhiteverythingIcansee——whenIgetreallyexcited。’
　　`And_I_hiteverythingwithinreach，’criedTweedledum，`whetherIcanseeitornot!’
　　Alicelaughed。`YoumusthittheTREESprettyoften，Ishouldthink，’shesaid。
　　Tweedledumlookedroundhimwithasatisfiedsmile。`Idon’tsuppose，’
　　hesaid，`there’llbeatreeleftstanding，foreversofarround，bythetimewe’vefinished!’
　　`Andallaboutarattle!’saidAlice，stillhopingtomakethemaLITTLEashamedoffightingforsuchatrifle。
　　`Ishouldn’thavemindeditsomuch，’saidTweedledum，`ifithadn’tbeenanewone。’
　　`Iwishthemonstrouscrowwouldcome!’thoughAlice。
　　`There’sonlyonesword，youknow，’Tweedledumsaidtohisbrother：`butyoucanhavetheumbrella——it’squiteassharp。
　　Onlywemustbeginquick。It’sgettingasdarkasitcan。’
　　`Anddarker。’saidTweedledee。
　　ItwasgettingdarksosuddenlythatAlicethoughttheremustbeathunderstormcomingon。`Whatathickblackcloudthatis!’
　　shesaid。`Andhowfastitcomes!Why，Idobelieveit’sgotwings!’
　　`It’sthecrow!’Tweedledumcriedoutinashrillvoiceofalarm：andthetwobrotherstooktotheirheelsandwereoutofsightinamoment。
　　Aliceranalittlewayintothewood，andstoppedunderalargetree。`ItcannevergetatmeHERE，’shethought：`it’sfartoolargetosqueezeitselfinamongthetrees。ButIwishitwouldn’tflapitswingsso——itmakesquiteahurricaneinthewood——
　　here’ssomebody’sshawlbeingblownaway!’
　　CHAPTERV
　　WoolandWaterShecaughttheshawlasshespoke，andlookedaboutfortheowner：inanothermomenttheWhiteQueencamerunningwildlythroughthewood，withbotharmsstretchedoutwide，asifshewereflying，andAliceverycivillywenttomeetherwiththeshawl。
　　`I’mverygladIhappenedtobeintheway，’Alicesaid，asshehelpedhertoputonhershawlagain。
　　TheWhiteQueenonlylookedatherinahelplessfrightenedsortofway，andkeptrepeatingsomethinginawhispertoherselfthatsoundedlike`bread—and—butter，bread—and—butter，’
　　andAlicefeltthatiftherewastobeanyconversationatall，shemustmanageitherself。Soshebeganrathertimidly：`AmI
　　addressingtheWhiteQueen？’
　　`Well，yes，ifyoucallthata—dressing，’TheQueensaid。`Itisn’tMYnotionofthething，atall。’
　　Alicethoughtitwouldneverdotohaveanargumentattheverybeginningoftheirconversation，soshesmiledandsaid，`IfyourMajestywillonlytellmetherightwaytobegin，I’lldoitaswellasIcan。’
　　`ButIdon’twantitdoneatall!’groanedthepoorQueen。
　　`I’vebeena—dressingmyselfforthelasttwohours。’
　　Itwouldhavebeenallthebetter，asitseemedtoAlice，ifshehadgotsomeoneelsetodressher，shewassodreadfullyuntidy。`Everysinglething’scrooked，’Alicethoughttoherself，`andshe’salloverpins!——mayIputyourshawlstraightforyou？’sheaddedaloud。
　　`Idon’tknowwhat’sthematterwithit!’theQueensaid，inamelancholyvoice。`It’soutoftemper，Ithink。I’vepinnedithere，andI’vepinneditthere，butthere’snopleasingit!’
　　`ItCAN’Tgostraight，youknow，ifyoupinitallononeside，’Alicesaid，asshegentlyputitrightforher；
　　`and，dearme，whatastateyourhairisin!’
　　`Thebrushhasgotentangledinit!’theQueensaidwithasigh。`AndIlostthecombyesterday。’
　　Alicecarefullyreleasedthebrush，anddidherbesttogetthehairintoorder。`Come，youlookratherbetternow!’shesaid，afteralteringmostofthepins。`Butreallyyoushouldhavealady’smaid!’
　　`I’msureI’lltakeyouwithpleasure!’theQueensaid。
　　`Twopenceaweek，andjameveryotherday。’
　　Alicecouldn’thelplaughing，asshesaid，`Idon’twantyoutohireME——andIdon’tcareforjam。’
　　`It’sverygoodjam，’saidtheQueen。
　　`Well，Idon’twantanyTO—DAY，atanyrate。’
　　`Youcouldn’thaveitifyouDIDwantit，’theQueensaid。
　　`Theruleis，jamto—morrowandjamyesterday——butneverjamto—day。’
　　`ItMUSTcomesometimesto"jamto—day，"’Aliceobjected。
　　`No，itcan’t，’saidtheQueen。`It’sjameveryOTHERday：
　　to—dayisn’tanyOTHERday，youknow。’
　　`Idon’tunderstandyou，’saidAlice。`It’sdreadfullyconfusing!’
　　`That’stheeffectoflivingbackwards，’theQueensaidkindly：
　　`italwaysmakesonealittlegiddyatfirst——’
　　`Livingbackwards!’Alicerepeatedingreatastonishment。`I
　　neverheardofsuchathing!’
　　`——butthere’sonegreatadvantageinit，thatone’smemoryworksbothways。’
　　`I’msureMINEonlyworksoneway。’Aliceremarked。`Ican’trememberthingsbeforetheyhappen。’
　　`It’sapoorsortofmemorythatonlyworksbackwards，’theQueenremarked。
　　`WhatsortofthingsdoYOUrememberbest？’Aliceventuredtoask。
　　`Oh，thingsthathappenedtheweekafternext，’theQueenrepliedinacarelesstone。`Forinstance，now，’shewenton，stickingalargepieceofplaster[band—aid]onherfingerasshespoke，`there’stheKing’sMessenger。He’sinprisonnow，beingpunished：andthetrialdoesn’tevenbegintillnextWednesday：
　　andofcoursethecrimecomeslastofall。’
　　`Supposehenevercommitsthecrime？’saidAlice。
　　`Thatwouldbeallthebetter，wouldn’tit？’theQueensaid，assheboundtheplasterroundherfingerwithabitofribbon。
　　AlicefelttherewasnodenyingTHAT。`Ofcourseitwouldbeallthebetter，’shesaid：`butitwouldn’tbeallthebetterhisbeingpunished。’
　　`You’rewrongTHERE，atanyrate，’saidtheQueen：`wereYOU
　　everpunished？’
　　`Onlyforfaults，’saidAlice。
　　`Andyouwereallthebetterforit，Iknow!’theQueensaidtriumphantly。
　　`Yes，butthenIHADdonethethingsIwaspunishedfor，’saidAlice：`thatmakesallthedifference。’
　　`ButifyouHADN’Tdonethem，’theQueensaid，`thatwouldhavebeenbetterstill；better，andbetter，andbetter!’Hervoicewenthigherwitheach`better，’tillitgotquitetoasqueakatlast。
　　Alicewasjustbeginningtosay`There’samistakesomewhere——，’
　　whentheQueenbeganscreamingsoloudthatshehadtoleavethesentenceunfinished。`Oh，oh，oh!’shoutedtheQueen，shakingherhandaboutasifshewantedtoshakeitoff。
　　`Myfinger’sbleeding!Oh，oh，oh，oh!’
　　Herscreamsweresoexactlylikethewhistleofasteam—engine，thatAlicehadtoholdbothherhandsoverherears。
　　`WhatISthematter？’shesaid，assoonastherewasachanceofmakingherselfheard。`Haveyouprickedyourfinger？’
　　`Ihaven’tprickeditYET，’theQueensaid，`butIsoonshall——
　　oh，oh，oh!’
　　`Whendoyouexpecttodoit？’Aliceasked，feelingverymuchinclinedtolaugh。
　　`WhenIfastenmyshawlagain，’thepoorQueengroanedout：
　　`thebroochwillcomeundonedirectly。Oh，oh!’Asshesaidthewordsthebroochflewopen，andtheQueenclutchedwildlyatit，andtriedtoclaspitagain。
　　`Takecare!’criedAlice。`You’reholdingitallcrooked!’
　　Andshecaughtatthebrooch；butitwastoolate：thepinhadslipped，andtheQueenhadprickedherfinger。
　　`Thataccountsforthebleeding，yousee，’shesaidtoAlicewithasmile。`Nowyouunderstandthewaythingshappenhere。’
　　`Butwhydon’tyouscreamnow？’Aliceasked，holdingherhandsreadytoputoverherearsagain。
　　`Why，I’vedoneallthescreamingalready，’saidtheQueen。
　　`Whatwouldbethegoodofhavingitalloveragain？’
　　Bythistimeitwasgettinglight。`Thecrowmusthaveflownaway，Ithink，’saidAlice：`I’msogladit’sgone。Ithoughtitwasthenightcomingon。’
　　`Iwish_I_couldmanagetobeglad!’theQueensaid。`OnlyI
　　nevercanremembertherule。Youmustbeveryhappy，livinginthiswood，andbeinggladwheneveryoulike!’
　　`OnlyitissoVERYlonelyhere!’Alicesaidinamelancholyvoice；andatthethoughtofherlonelinesstwolargetearscamerollingdownhercheeks。
　　`Oh，don’tgoonlikethat!’criedthepoorQueen，wringingherhandsindespair。`Considerwhatagreatgirlyouare。Considerwhatalongwayyou’vecometo—day。Considerwhato’clockitis。
　　Consideranything，onlydon’tcry!’
　　Alicecouldnothelplaughingatthis，eveninthemidstofhertears。
　　`CanYOUkeepfromcryingbyconsideringthings？’sheasked。
　　`That’sthewayit’sdone，’theQueensaidwithgreatdecision：
　　`nobodycandotwothingsatonce，youknow。Let’sconsideryouragetobeginwith——howoldareyou？’
　　`I’msevenandahalfexactly。’
　　`Youneedn’tsay"exactually，"’theQueenremarked：`Icanbelieveitwithoutthat。NowI’llgiveYOUsomethingtobelieve。
　　I’mjustonehundredandone，fivemonthsandaday。’
　　`Ican’tbelieveTHAT!’saidAlice。
　　`Can’tyou？’theQueensaidinapityingtone。`Tryagain：
　　drawalongbreath，andshutyoureyes。’
　　Alicelaughed。`There’snousetrying，’shesaid：`oneCAN’T
　　believeimpossiblethings。’
　　`Idaresayyouhaven’thadmuchpractice，’saidtheQueen。
　　`WhenIwasyourage，Ialwaysdiditforhalf—an—houraday。
　　Why，sometimesI’vebelievedasmanyassiximpossiblethingsbeforebreakfast。Theregoestheshawlagain!’
　　Thebroochhadcomeundoneasshespoke，andasuddengustofwindblewtheQueen’sshawlacrossalittlebrook。TheQueenspreadoutherarmsagain，andwentflyingafterit，andthistimeshesucceededincatchingitforherself。`I’vegotit!’
　　shecriedinatriumphanttone。`Nowyoushallseemepinitonagain，allbymyself!’
　　`ThenIhopeyourfingerisbetternow？’Alicesaidverypolitely，asshecrossedthelittlebrookaftertheQueen。
　　*******
　　******
　　*******
　　`Oh，muchbetter!’criedtheQueen，hervoicerisingtoasqueakasshewenton。`Muchbe—etter!Be—etter!Be—e—e—etter!
　　Be—e—ehh!’Thelastwordendedinalongbleat，solikeasheepthatAlicequitestarted。
　　ShelookedattheQueen，whoseemedtohavesuddenlywrappedherselfupinwool。Alicerubbedhereyes，andlookedagain。
　　Shecouldn’tmakeoutwhathadhappenedatall。Wassheinashop？Andwasthatreally——wasitreallyaSHEEPthatwassittingontheothersideofthecounter？Rubasshecould，shecouldmakenothingmoreofit：shewasinalittledarkshop，leaningwithherelbowsonthecounter，andoppositetoherwasanoldSheep，sittinginanarm—chairknitting，andeverynowandthenleavingofftolookatherthroughagreatpairofspectacles。
　　`Whatisityouwanttobuy？’theSheepsaidatlast，lookingupforamomentfromherknitting。
　　`Idon’tQUITEknowyet，’Alicesaid，verygently。`Ishouldliketolookallroundmefirst，ifImight。’
　　`Youmaylookinfrontofyou，andonbothsides，ifyoulike，’
　　saidtheSheep：`butyoucan’tlookALLroundyou——unlessyou’vegoteyesatthebackofyourhead。’
　　Butthese，asithappened，AlicehadNOTgot：soshecontentedherselfwithturninground，lookingattheshelvesasshecametothem。
　　Theshopseemedtobefullofallmannerofcuriousthings——
　　buttheoddestpartofitallwas，thatwhenevershelookedhardatanyshelf，tomakeoutexactlywhatithadonit，thatparticularshelfwasalwaysquiteempty：thoughtheothersrounditwerecrowdedasfullastheycouldhold。
　　`Thingsflowaboutsohere!’shesaidatlastinaplaintivetone，aftershehadspentaminuteorsoinvainlypursuingalargebrightthing，thatlookedsometimeslikeadollandsometimeslikeawork—box，andwasalwaysintheshelfnextabovetheoneshewaslookingat。`Andthisoneisthemostprovokingofall——butI’lltellyouwhat——’sheadded，asasuddenthoughtstruckher，`I’llfollowituptotheverytopshelfofall。It’llpuzzleittogothroughtheceiling，Iexpect!’
　　Buteventhisplanfailed：the`thing’wentthroughtheceilingasquietlyaspossible，asifitwerequiteusedtoit。
　　`Areyouachildorateetotum？’theSheepsaid，asshetookupanotherpairofneedles。`You’llmakemegiddysoon，ifyougoonturningroundlikethat。’Shewasnowworkingwithfourteenpairsatonce，andAlicecouldn’thelplookingatheringreatastonishment。
　　`HowCANsheknitwithsomany？’thepuzzledchildthoughttoherself。`Shegetsmoreandmorelikeaporcupineeveryminute!’
　　`Canyourow？’theSheepasked，handingherapairofknitting—
　　needlesasshespoke。
　　`Yes，alittle——butnotonland——andnotwithneedles——’
　　Alicewasbeginningtosay，whensuddenlytheneedlesturnedintooarsinherhands，andshefoundtheywereinalittleboat，glidingalongbetweenbanks：sotherewasnothingforitbuttodoherbest。
　　`Feather!’criedtheSheep，asshetookupanotherpairofneedles。
　　Thisdidn’tsoundlikearemarkthatneededanyanswer，soAlicesaidnothing，butpulledaway。Therewassomethingveryqueeraboutthewater，shethought，aseverynowandthentheoarsgotfastinit，andwouldhardlycomeoutagain。
　　`Feather!Feather!’theSheepcriedagain，takingmoreneedles。`You’llbecatchingacrabdirectly。’
　　`Adearlittlecrab!’thoughtAlice。`Ishouldlikethat。’
　　`Didn’tyouhearmesay"Feather"？’theSheepcriedangrily，takingupquiteabunchofneedles。
　　`IndeedIdid，’saidAlice：`you’vesaiditveryoften——andveryloud。Please，whereAREthecrabs？’
　　`Inthewater，ofcourse!’saidtheSheep，stickingsomeoftheneedlesintoherhair，asherhandswerefull。`Feather，Isay!’
　　`WHYdoyousay"feather"sooften？’Aliceaskedatlast，rathervexed。’I’mnotabird!’
　　`Youare，’saidtheSheet：`you’realittlegoose。’
　　ThisoffendedAlicealittle，sotherewasnomoreconversationforaminuteortwo，whiletheboatglidedgentlyon，sometimesamongbedsofweeds（whichmadetheoarsstickfastinthewater，worsethenever），andsometimesundertrees，butalwayswiththesametallriver—banksfrowningovertheirheads。
　　`Oh，please!Therearesomescentedrushes!’Alicecriedinasuddentransportofdelight。`Therereallyare——andSUCH
　　beauties!’
　　`Youneedn’tsay"please"toMEabout`em’theSheepsaid，withoutlookingupfromherknitting：`Ididn’tput`emthere，andI’mnotgoingtotake`emaway。’
　　`No，butImeant——please，maywewaitandpicksome？’Alicepleaded。`Ifyoudon’tmindstoppingtheboatforaminute。’
　　`Howam_I_tostopit？’saidtheSheep。`Ifyouleaveoffrowing，it’llstopofitself。’
　　Sotheboatwaslefttodriftdownthestreamasitwould，tillitglidedgentlyinamongthewavingrushes。Andthenthelittlesleeveswerecarefullyrolledup，andthelittlearmswereplungedinelbow—deeptogettherushesagoodlongwaydownbeforebreakingthemoff——andforawhileAliceforgotallabouttheSheepandtheknitting，asshebentoverthesideoftheboat，withjusttheendsofhertangledhairdippingintothewater——whilewithbrighteagereyesshecaughtatonebunchafteranotherofthedarlingscentedrushes。
　　`Ionlyhopetheboatwon’ttippleover!’shesaidtoherself。
　　Oh，WHATalovelyone!OnlyIcouldn’tquitereachit。’`AnditcertainlyDIDseemalittleprovoking（`almostasifithappenedonpurpose，’shethought）that，thoughshemanagedtopickplentyofbeautifulrushesastheboatglidedby，therewasalwaysamorelovelyonethatshecouldn’treach。
　　`Theprettiestarealwaysfurther!’shesaidatlast，withasighattheobstinacyoftherushesingrowingsofaroff，as，withflushedcheeksanddrippinghairandhands，shescrambledbackintoherplace，andbegantoarrangehernew—foundtreasures。
　　Whatmatteredittoherjustthanthattherusheshadbeguntofade，andtolosealltheirscentandbeauty，fromtheverymomentthatshepickedthem？Evenrealscentedrushes，youknow，lastonlyaverylittlewhile——andthese，beingdream—rushes，meltedawayalmostlikesnow，astheylayinheapsatherfeet——
　　butAlicehardlynoticedthis，thereweresomanyothercuriousthingstothinkabout。
　　Theyhadn’tgonemuchfartherbeforethebladeofoneoftheoarsgotfastinthewaterandWOULDN’Tcomeoutagain（soAliceexplaineditafterwards），andtheconsequencewasthatthehandleofitcaughtherunderthechin，and，inspiteofaseriesoflittleshrieksof`Oh，oh，oh!’frompoorAlice，itsweptherstraightofftheseat，anddownamongtheheapofrushes。
　　However，shewasn’thurt，andwassoonupagain：theSheepwentonwithherknittingallthewhile，justasifnothinghadhappened。`Thatwasanicecrabyoucaught!’sheremarked，asAlicegotbackintoherplace，verymuchrelievedtofindherselfstillintheboat。
　　`Wasit？Ididn’tseeit，’SaidAlice，peepingcautiouslyoverthesideoftheboatintothedarkwater。`Iwishithadn’tletgo——Ishouldsoliketoseealittlecrabtotakehomewithme!’ButtheSheeponlylaughedscornfully，andwentonwithherknitting。
　　`Aretheremanycrabshere？’saidAlice。
　　`Crabs，andallsortsofthings，’saidtheSheep：`plentyofchoice，onlymakeupyourmind。Now，whatDOyouwanttobuy？’
　　`Tobuy!’Aliceechoedinatonethatwashalfastonishedandhalffrightened——fortheoars，andtheboat，andtheriver，hadvanishedallinamoment，andshewasbackagaininthelittledarkshop。
　　`Ishouldliketobuyanegg，please，’shesaidtimidly。`Howdoyousellthem？’
　　`Fivepencefarthingforone——Twopencefortwo，’theSheepreplied。
　　`Thentwoarecheaperthanone？’Alicesaidinasurprisedtone，takingoutherpurse。
　　`OnlyyouMUSTeatthemboth，ifyoubuytwo，’saidtheSheep。
　　`ThenI’llhaveONE，please，’saidAlice，assheputthemoneydownonthecounter。Forshethoughttoherself，`Theymightn’tbeatallnice，youknow。’
　　TheSheeptookthemoney，andputitawayinabox：thenshesaid`Ineverputthingsintopeople’shands——thatwouldneverdo——youmustgetitforyourself。’Andsosaying，shewentofftotheotherendoftheshop，andsettheegguprightonashelf。
　　`IwonderWHYitwouldn’tdo？’thoughtAlice，asshegropedherwayamongthetablesandchairs，fortheshopwasverydarktowardstheend。`TheeggseemstogetfurtherawaythemoreI
　　walktowardsit。Letmesee，isthisachair？Why，it’sgotbranches，Ideclare!Howveryoddtofindtreesgrowinghere!
　　Andactuallyhere’salittlebrook!Well，thisistheveryqueerestshopIeversaw!’
　　*******
　　******
　　*******
　　Soshewenton，wonderingmoreandmoreateverystep，aseverythingturnedintoatreethemomentshecameuptoit，andshequiteexpectedtheeggtodothesame。
　　CHAPTERVI
　　HumptyDumptyHowever，theeggonlygotlargerandlarger，andmoreandmorehuman：whenshehadcomewithinafewyardsofit，shesawthatithadeyesandanoseandmouth；andwhenshehadcomeclosetoit，shesawclearlythatitwasHUMPTYDUMPTYhimself。`Itcan’tbeanybodyelse!’shesaidtoherself。`I’mascertainofit，asifhisnamewerewrittenalloverhisface。’
　　Itmighthavebeenwrittenahundredtimes，easily，onthatenormousface。HumptyDumptywassittingwithhislegscrossed，likeaTurk，onthetopofahighwall——suchanarrowonethatAlicequitewonderedhowhecouldkeephisbalance——and，ashiseyesweresteadilyfixedintheoppositedirection，andhedidn’ttaketheleastnoticeofher，shethoughthemustbeastuffedfigureafterall。
　　`Andhowexactlylikeaneggheis!’shesaidaloud，standingwithherhandsreadytocatchhim，forshewaseverymomentexpectinghimtofall。
　　`It’sVERYprovoking，’HumptyDumptysaidafteralongsilence，lookingawayfromAliceashespoke，`tobecalledanegg——
　　VERY!’
　　`IsaidyouLOOKEDlikeanegg，Sir，’Alicegentlyexplained。
　　`Andsomeeggsareverypretty，youknow’sheadded，hopingtoturnherremarkintoasortofacompliment。
　　`Somepeople，’saidHumptyDumpty，lookingawayfromherasusual，`havenomoresensethanababy!’
　　Alicedidn’tknowwhattosaytothis：itwasn’tatalllikeconversation，shethought，asheneversaidanythingtoHER；infact，hislastremarkwasevidentlyaddressedtoatree——soshestoodandsoftlyrepeatedtoherself：——
　　`HumptyDumptysatonawall：
　　HumptyDumptyhadagreatfall。
　　AlltheKing’shorsesandalltheKing’smenCouldn’tputHumptyDumptyinhisplaceagain。’
　　`Thatlastlineismuchtoolongforthepoetry，’sheadded，almostoutloud，forgettingthatHumptyDumptywouldhearher。
　　`Don’tstandtherechatteringtoyourselflikethat，’HumptyDumptysaid，lookingatherforthefirsttime，`buttellmeyournameandyourbusiness。’
　　`MyNAMEisAlice，but——’
　　`It’sastupidenoughname!’HumptyDumptyinterruptedimpatiently。
　　`Whatdoesitmean？’
　　`MUSTanamemeansomething？’Aliceaskeddoubtfully。
　　`Ofcourseitmust，’HumptyDumptysaidwithashortlaugh：
　　`MYnamemeanstheshapeIam——andagoodhandsomeshapeitis，too。Withanamelikeyours，youmightbeanyshape，almost。’
　　`Whydoyousitouthereallalone？’saidAlice，notwishingtobeginanargument。
　　`Why，becausethere’snobodywithme!’criedHumptyDumpty。
　　`DidyouthinkIdidn’tknowtheanswertoTHAT？Askanother。’
　　`Don’tyouthinkyou’dbesaferdownontheground？’Alicewenton，notwithanyideaofmakinganotherriddle，butsimplyinhergood—naturedanxietyforthequeercreature。`ThatwallissoVERYnarrow!’
　　`Whattremendouslyeasyriddlesyouask!’HumptyDumptygrowledout。`OfcourseIdon’tthinkso!Why，ifeverIDIDfalloff——
　　whichthere’snochanceof——butIFIdid——’HerehepursedhislipsandlookedsosolemnandgrandthatAlicecouldhardlyhelplaughing。`IFIdidfall，’hewenton，`THEKINGHAS
　　PROMISEDME——WITHHISVERYOWNMOUTH——to——to——’
　　`Tosendallhishorsesandallhismen，’Aliceinterrupted，ratherunwisely。
　　`NowIdeclarethat’stoobad!’HumptyDumptycried，breakingintoasuddenpassion。`You’vebeenlisteningatdoors——andbehindtrees——
　　anddownchimneys——oryoucouldn’thaveknownit!’
　　`Ihaven’t，indeed!’Alicesaidverygently。`It’sinabook。’
　　`Ah，well!TheymaywritesuchthingsinaBOOK，’HumptyDumptysaidinacalmertone。`That’swhatyoucallaHistoryofEngland，thatis。Now，takeagoodlookatme!I’monethathasspokentoaKing，_I_am：mayhapyou’llneverseesuchanother：
　　andtoshowyouI’mnotproud，youmayshakehandswithme!’Andhegrinnedalmostfromeartoear，asheleantforwards（andasnearlyaspossiblefellofthewallindoingso）andofferedAlicehishand。Shewatchedhimalittleanxiouslyasshetookit。`Ifhesmiledmuchmore，theendsofhismouthmightmeetbehind，’shethought：`andthenIdon’tknowwhatwouldhappentohishead!I’mafraiditwouldcomeoff!’
　　`Yes，allhishorsesandallhismen，’HumptyDumptywenton。
　　`They’dpickmeupagaininaminute，THEYwould!However，thisconversationisgoingonalittletoofast：let’sgobacktothelastremarkbutone。’
　　`I’mafraidIcan’tquiterememberit，’Alicesaidverypolitely。
　　`Inthatcasewestartfresh，’saidHumptyDumpty，`andit’smyturntochooseasubject——’（`Hetalksaboutitjustasifitwasagame!’thoughtAlice。）`Sohere’saquestionforyou。Howolddidyousayyouwere？’
　　Alicemadeashortcalculation，andsaid`Sevenyearsandsixmonths。’
　　`Wrong!’HumptyDumptyexclaimedtriumphantly。`Youneversaidawordlikeit!’
　　`Ithoughyoumeant"HowoldAREyou？"’Aliceexplained。
　　`IfI’dmeantthat，I’dhavesaidit，’saidHumptyDumpty。
　　Alicedidn’twanttobeginanotherargument，soshesaidnothing。
　　`Sevenyearsandsixmonths!’HumptyDumptyrepeatedthoughtfully。`Anuncomfortablesortofage。Nowifyou’daskedMYadvice，I’dhavesaid"Leaveoffatseven"——butit’stoolatenow。’
　　`Ineveraskadviceaboutgrowing，’Alicesaidindignantly。
　　`Tooproud？’theotherinquired。
　　Alicefeltevenmoreindignantatthissuggestion。`Imean，’
　　shesaid，`thatonecan’thelpgrowingolder。’
　　`ONEcan’t，perhaps，’saidHumptyDumpty，`butTWOcan。Withproperassistance，youmighthaveleftoffatseven。’
　　`Whatabeautifulbeltyou’vegoton!’Alicesuddenlyremarked。
　　（Theyhadhadquiteenoughofthesubjectofage，shethought：
　　andiftheyreallyweretotaketurnsinchoosingsubjects，itwasherturnnow。）`Atleast，’shecorrectedherselfonsecondthoughts，`abeautifulcravat，Ishouldhavesaid——no，abelt，Imean——Ibegyourpardon!’sheaddedindismay，forHumptyDumptylookedthoroughlyoffended，andshebegantowishshehadn’tchosenthatsubject。`IfIonlyknew，’thethoughttoherself，’whichwasneckandwhichwaswaist!’
　　EvidentlyHumptyDumptywasveryangry，thoughhesaidnothingforaminuteortwo。WhenheDIDspeakagain，itwasinadeepgrowl。
　　`Itisa——MOST——PROVOKING——thing，’hesaidatlast，`whenapersondoesn’tknowacravatfromabelt!’
　　`Iknowit’sveryignorantofme，’Alicesaid，insohumbleatonethatHumptyDumptyrelented。
　　`It’sacravat，child，andabeautifulone，asyousay。It’sapresentfromtheWhiteKingandQueen。Therenow!’
　　`Isitreally？’saidAlice，quitepleasedtofindthatsheHAD
　　chosenagoodsubject，afterall。
　　`Theygaveitme，’HumptyDumptycontinuedthoughtfully，ashecrossedonekneeovertheotherandclaspedhishandsroundit，`theygaveitme——foranun—birthdaypresent。’
　　`Ibegyourpardon？’Alicesaidwithapuzzledair。
　　`I’mnotoffended，’saidHumptyDumpty。
　　`Imean，whatISanun—birthdaypresent？’
　　`Apresentgivenwhenitisn’tyourbirthday，ofcourse。’
　　Aliceconsideredalittle。`Ilikebirthdaypresentsbest，’
　　shesaidatlast。
　　`Youdon’tknowwhatyou’retalkingabout!’criedHumptyDumpty。`Howmanydaysarethereinayear？’
　　`Threehundredandsixty—five，’saidAlice。
　　`Andhowmanybirthdayshaveyou？’
　　`One。’
　　`Andifyoutakeonefromthreehundredandsixty—five，whatremains？’
　　`Threehundredandsixty—four，ofcourse。’
　　HumptyDumptylookeddoubtful。`I’dratherseethatdoneonpaper，’hesaid。
　　Alicecouldn’thelpsmilingasshetookouthermemorandum—
　　book，andworkedthesumforhim：
　　365
　　1
　　___
　　364
　　___
　　HumptyDumptytookthebook，andlookedatitcarefully。`Thatseemstobedoneright——’hebegan。
　　`You’reholdingitupsidedown!’Aliceinterrupted。
　　`TobesureIwas!’HumptyDumptysaidgaily，assheturneditroundforhim。`Ithoughtitlookedalittlequeer。AsIwassaying，thatSEEMStobedoneright——thoughIhaven’ttimetolookitoverthoroughlyjustnow——andthatshowsthattherearethreehundredandsixty—fourdayswhenyoumightgetun—birthdaypresents——’
　　`Certainly，’saidAlice。
　　`AndonlyONEforbirthdaypresents，youknow。There’sgloryforyou!’
　　`Idon’tknowwhatyoumeanby"glory，"’Alicesaid。
　　HumptyDumptysmiledcontemptuously。`Ofcourseyoudon’t——
　　tillItellyou。Imeant"there’saniceknock—downargumentforyou!"’
　　`But"glory"doesn’tmean"aniceknock—downargument，"’Aliceobjected。
　　`When_I_useaword，’HumptyDumptysaidinratherascornfultone，`itmeansjustwhatIchooseittomean——neithermorenorless。’
　　`Thequestionis，’saidAlice，`whetheryouCANmakewordsmeansomanydifferentthings。’
　　`Thequestionis，’saidHumptyDumpty，`whichistobemaster——
　　that’sall。’
　　Alicewastoomuchpuzzledtosayanything，soafteraminuteHumptyDumptybeganagain。`They’veatemper，someofthem——
　　particularlyverbs，they’retheproudest——adjectivesyoucandoanythingwith，butnotverbs——however，_I_canmanagethewholelotofthem!Impenetrability!That’swhat_I_say!’
　　`Wouldyoutellme，please，’saidAlice`whatthatmeans？’
　　`Nowyoutalklikeareasonablechild，’saidHumptyDumpty，lookingverymuchpleased。`Imeantby"impenetrability"thatwe’vehadenoughofthatsubject，anditwouldbejustaswellifyou’dmentionwhatyoumeantodonext，asIsupposeyoudon’tmeantostopherealltherestofyourlife。’
　　`That’sagreatdealtomakeonewordmean，’Alicesaidinathoughtfultone。
　　`WhenImakeaworddoalotofworklikethat，’saidHumptyDumpty，`Ialwayspayitextra。’
　　`Oh!’saidAlice。Shewastoomuchpuzzledtomakeanyotherremark。
　　`Ah，youshouldsee’emcomeroundmeofaSaturdaynight，’
　　HumptyDumptywenton，wagginghisheadgravelyfromsidetoside：`fortogettheirwages，youknow。’
　　（Alicedidn’tventuretoaskwhathepaidthemwith；andsoyouseeIcan’ttellYOU。）
　　`Youseemverycleveratexplainingwords，Sir，’saidAlice。
　　`Wouldyoukindlytellmethemeaningofthepoemcalled"Jabberwocky"？’
　　`Let’shearit，’saidHumptyDumpty。`Icanexplainallthepoemsthatwereeverinvented——andagoodmanythathaven’tbeeninventedjustyet。’
　　Thissoundedveryhopeful，soAlicerepeatedthefirstverse：
　　’Twasbrillig，andtheslithytovesDidgyreandgimbleinthewabe；
　　Allmimsyweretheborogoves，Andthemomerathsoutgrabe。
　　`That’senoughtobeginwith，’HumptyDumptyinterrupted：
　　`thereareplentyofhardwordsthere。"BRILLIG"meansfouro’clockintheafternoon——thetimewhenyoubeginBROILING
　　thingsfordinner。’
　　`That’lldoverywell，’saidAlice：and"SLITHY"？’
　　`Well，"SLITHY"means"litheandslimy。""Lithe"isthesameas"active。"Youseeit’slikeaportmanteau——therearetwomeaningspackedupintooneword。’
　　`Iseeitnow，’Aliceremarkedthoughtfully：`andwhatare"TOVES"？’
　　`Well，"TOVES"aresomethinglikebadgers——they’resomethinglikelizards——andthey’resomethinglikecorkscrews。’
　　`Theymustbeverycuriouslookingcreatures。’
　　`Theyarethat，’saidHumptyDumpty：`alsotheymaketheirnestsundersun—dials——alsotheyliveoncheese。’
　　`Andywhat’sthe"GYRE"andto"GIMBLE"？’
　　`To"GYRE"istogoroundandroundlikeagyroscope。To"GIMBLE"istomakeholeslikeagimlet。’
　　`And"THEWABE"isthegrass—plotroundasun—dial，Isuppose？’
　　saidAlice，surprisedatherowningenuity。
　　`Ofcourseitis。It’scalled"WABE，"youknow，becauseitgoesalongwaybeforeit，andalongwaybehindit——’
　　`Andalongwaybeyonditoneachside，’Aliceadded。
　　`Exactlyso。Well，then，"MIMSY"is"flimsyandmiserable"
　　（there’sanotherportmanteauforyou）。Anda"BOROGOVE"isathinshabby—lookingbirdwithitsfeathersstickingoutallround——
　　somethinglikealivemop。’
　　`Andthen"MOMERATHS"？’saidAlice。`I’mafraidI’mgivingyouagreatdealoftrouble。’
　　`Well，a"RATH"isasortofgreenpig：but"MOME"I’mnotcertainabout。Ithinkit’sshortfor"fromhome"——meaningthatthey’dlosttheirway，youknow。’
　　`Andwhatdoes"OUTGRABE"mean？’
　　`Well，"OUTGRABING"issomethingbetweenbellowingandwhistling，withakindofsneezeinthemiddle：however，you’llhearitdone，maybe——downinthewoodyonder——andwhenyou’veonceheardityou’llbeQUITEcontent。Who’sbeenrepeatingallthathardstufftoyou？’
　　`Ireaditinabook，’saidAlice。`ButIhadsomepoetryrepeatedtome，mucheasierthanthat，by——Tweedledee，Ithinkitwas。’
　　`Astopoetry，youknow，’saidHumptyDumpty，stretchingoutoneofhisgreathands，`_I_canrepeatpoetryaswellasotherfolk，ifitcomestothat——’
　　`Oh，itneedn’tcometothat!’Alicehastilysaid，hopingtokeephimfrombeginning。
　　`ThepieceI’mgoingtorepeat，’hewentonwithoutnoticingherremark，’waswrittenentirelyforyouramusement。’
　　AlicefeltthatinthatcaseshereallyOUGHTtolistentoit，soshesatdown，andsaid`Thankyou’rathersadly。
　　`Inwinter，whenthefieldsarewhite，Isingthissongforyourdelight——
　　onlyIdon’tsingit，’headded，asanexplanation。
　　`Iseeyoudon’t，’saidAlice。
　　`IfyoucanSEEwhetherI’msingingornot，you’vesharpereyesthanmost。’HumptyDumptyremarkedseverely。Alicewassilent。
　　`Inspring，whenwoodsaregettinggreen，I’lltryandtellyouwhatImean。’
　　`Thankyouverymuch，’saidAlice。
　　`Insummer，whenthedaysarelong，Perhapsyou’llunderstandthesong：
　　Inautumn，whentheleavesarebrown，Takepenandink，andwriteitdown。’
　　`Iwill，ifIcanrememberitsolong，’saidAlice。
　　`Youneedn’tgoonmakingremarkslikethat，’HumptyDumptysaid：`they’renotsensible，andtheyputmeout。’
　　`Isentamessagetothefish：
　　Itoldthem"ThisiswhatIwish。"
　　Thelittlefishesofthesea，Theysentananswerbacktome。
　　Thelittlefishes’answerwas"Wecannotdoit，Sir，because——"’
　　`I’mafraidIdon’tquiteunderstand，’saidAlice。
　　`Itgetseasierfurtheron，’HumptyDumptyreplied。
　　`Isenttothemagaintosay"Itwillbebettertoobey。"
　　Thefishesansweredwithagrin，"Why，whatatemperyouarein!"
　　Itoldthemonce，Itoldthemtwice：
　　Theywouldnotlistentoadvice。
　　Itookakettlelargeandnew，FitforthedeedIhadtodo。
　　Myheartwenthop，myheartwentthump；
　　Ifilledthekettleatthepump。
　　Thensomeonecametomeandsaid，"Thelittlefishesareinbed。"
　　Isaidtohim，Isaiditplain，"Thenyoumustwakethemupagain。"
　　Isaiditveryloudandclear；
　　Iwentandshoutedinhisear。’
　　HumptyDumptyraisedhisvoicealmosttoascreamasherepeatedthisverse，andAlicethoughtwithashudder，`I
　　wouldn’thavebeenthemessengerforANYTHING!’
　　`Buthewasverystiffandproud；
　　Hesaid"Youneedn’tshoutsoloud!"
　　Andhewasveryproudandstiff；
　　Hesaid"I’dgoandwakethem，if——"
　　Itookacorkscrewfromtheshelf：
　　Iwenttowakethemupmyself。
　　AndwhenIfoundthedoorwaslocked，Ipulledandpushedandkickedandknocked。
　　AndwhenIfoundthedoorwasshut，Itriedtoturnthehandle，but——’
　　Therewasalongpause。
　　`Isthatall？’Alicetimidlyasked。
　　`That’sall，’saidHumptyDumpty。`Good—bye。’
　　Thiswasrathersudden，Alicethought：but，aftersuchaVERY
　　stronghintthatsheoughttobegoing，shefeltthatitwouldhardlybeciviltostay。Soshegotup，andheldoutherhand。
　　`Good—bye，tillwemeetagain!’shesaidascheerfullyasshecould。
　　`Ishouldn’tknowyouagainifweDIDmeet，’HumptyDumptyrepliedinadiscontentedtone，givingheroneofhisfingerstoshake；`you’resoexactlylikeotherpeople。’
　　`Thefaceiswhatonegoesby，generally，’Aliceremarkedinathoughtfultone。
　　`That’sjustwhatIcomplainof，’saidHumptyDumpty。`Yourfaceisthesameaseverybodyhas——thetwoeyes，so——’
　　（markingtheirplacesintheairwiththisthumb）`noseinthemiddle，mouthunder。It’salwaysthesame。Nowifyouhadthetwoeyesonthesamesideofthenose，forinstance——orthemouthatthetop——thatwouldbeSOMEhelp。’
　　`Itwouldn’tlooknice，’Aliceobjected。ButHumptyDumptyonlyshuthiseyesandsaid`Waittillyou’vetried。’
　　Alicewaitedaminutetoseeifhewouldspeakagain，butasheneveropenedhiseyesortookanyfurthernoticeofher，shesaid`Good—bye!’oncemore，and，gettingnoanswertothis，shequietlywalkedaway：butshecouldn’thelpsayingtoherselfasshewent，`Ofalltheunsatisfactory——’（sherepeatedthisaloud，asitwasagreatcomforttohavesuchalongwordtosay）
　　`ofalltheunsatisfactorypeopleIEVERmet——’Sheneverfinishedthesentence，foratthismomentaheavycrashshooktheforestfromendtoend。
　　CHAPTERVII
　　TheLionandtheUnicornThenextmomentsoldierscamerunningthroughthewood，atfirstintwosandthrees，thentenortwentytogether，andatlastinsuchcrowdsthattheyseemedtofillthewholeforest。Alicegotbehindatree，forfearofbeingrunover，andwatchedthemgoby。
　　Shethoughtthatinallherlifeshehadneverseensoldierssouncertainontheirfeet：theywerealwaystrippingoversomethingorother，andwheneveronewentdown，severalmorealwaysfelloverhim，sothatthegroundwassooncoveredwithlittleheapsofmen。
　　Thencamethehorses。Havingfourfeet，thesemanagedratherbetterthanthefoot—soldiers：butevenTHEYstumblednowandthen；anditseemedtobearegularrulethat，wheneverahorsestumbledtheriderfelloffinstantly。Theconfusiongotworseeverymoment，andAlicewasverygladtogetoutofthewoodintoanopenplace，whereshefoundtheWhiteKingseatedontheground，busilywritinginhismemorandum—book。
　　`I’vesentthemall!’theKingcriedinatoneofdelight，onseeingAlice。`Didyouhappentomeetanysoldiers，mydear，asyoucamethroughthewood？’
　　`Yes，Idid，’saidAlice：`severalthousand，Ishouldthink。’
　　`Fourthousandtwohundredandseven，that’stheexactnumber，’
　　theKingsaid，referringtohisbook。`Icouldn’tsendallthehorses，youknow，becausetwoofthemarewantedinthegame。
　　AndIhaven’tsentthetwoMessengers，either。They’rebothgonetothetown。Justlookalongtheroad，andtellmeifyoucanseeeitherofthem。’
　　`Iseenobodyontheroad，’saidAlice。
　　`Ionlywish_I_hadsucheyes，’theKingremarkedinafretfultone。`TobeabletoseeNobody!Andatthatdistance，too!
　　Why，it’sasmuchas_I_candotoseerealpeople，bythislight!’
　　AllthiswaslostonAlice，whowasstilllookingintentlyalongtheroad，shadinghereyeswithonehand。`Iseesomebodynow!’sheexclaimedatlast。`Buthe’scomingveryslowly——andwhatcuriousattitudeshegoesinto!’（Forthemessengerkeptskippingupanddown，andwrigglinglikeaneel，ashecamealong，withhisgreathandsspreadoutlikefansoneachside。）
　　`Notatall，’saidtheKing。`He’sanAnglo—SaxonMessenger——
　　andthoseareAnglo—Saxonattitudes。Heonlydoesthemwhenhe’shappy。HisnameisHaigha。’（Hepronounceditsoastorhymewith`mayor。’）
　　`IlovemylovewithanH，’Alicecouldn’thelpbeginning，`becauseheisHappy。IhatehimwithanH，becauseheisHideous。
　　Ifedhimwith——with——withHam—sandwichesandHay。
　　HisnameisHaigha，andhelives——’
　　`HelivesontheHill，’theKingremarkedsimply，withouttheleastideathathewasjoininginthegame，whileAlicewasstillhesitatingforthenameofatownbeginningwithH。`TheotherMessenger’scalledHatta。ImusthaveTWO，youknow——tocomeandgo。Oncetocome，andonetogo。’
　　`Ibegyourpardon？’saidAlice。
　　`Itisn’trespectabletobeg，’saidtheKing。
　　`IonlymeantthatIdidn’tunderstand，’saidAlice。`Whyonetocomeandonetogo？’
　　`Didn’tItellyou？’theKingrepeatedimpatiently。`ImusthaveTwo——tofetchandcarry。Onetofetch，andonetocarry。’
　　AtthismomenttheMessengerarrived：hewasfartoomuchoutofbreathtosayaword，andcouldonlywavehishandsabout，andmakethemostfearfulfacesatthepoorKing。
　　`ThisyoungladylovesyouwithanH，’theKingsaid，introducingAliceinthehopeofturningofftheMessenger’sattentionfromhimself——butitwasnouse——theAnglo—Saxonattitudesonlygotmoreextraordinaryeverymoment，whilethegreateyesrolledwildlyfromsidetoside。
　　`Youalarmme!’saidtheKing。`Ifeelfaint——Givemeahamsandwich!’
　　OnwhichtheMessenger，toAlice’sgreatamusement，openedabagthathungroundhisneck，andhandedasandwichtotheKing，whodevoureditgreedily。
　　`Anothersandwich!’saidtheKing。
　　`There’snothingbuthayleftnow，’theMessengersaid，peepingintothebag。
　　`Hay，then，’theKingmurmuredinafaintwhisper。
　　Alicewasgladtoseethatitrevivedhimagooddeal。
　　`There’snothinglikeeatinghaywhenyou’refaint，’heremarkedtoher，ashemunchedaway。
　　`Ishouldthinkthrowingcoldwateroveryouwouldbebetter，’
　　Alicesuggested：`orsomesal—volatile。’
　　`Ididn’tsaytherewasnothingBETTER，’theKingreplied。`IsaidtherewasnothingLIKEit。’WhichAlicedidnotventuretodeny。
　　`Whodidyoupassontheroad？’theKingwenton，holdingouthishandtotheMessengerforsomemorehay。
　　`Nobody，’saidtheMessenger。
　　`Quiteright，’saidtheKing：`thisyoungladysawhimtoo。
　　SoofcourseNobodywalksslowerthanyou。’
　　`Idomybest，’theMessengersaidinasulkytone。`I’msurenobodywalksmuchfasterthanIdo!’
　　`Hecan’tdothat，’saidtheKing，`orelsehe’dhavebeenherefirst。However，nowyou’vegotyourbreath，youmaytelluswhat’shappenedinthetown。’
　　`I’llwhisperit，’saidtheMessenger，puttinghishandstohismouthintheshapeofatrumpet，andstoopingsoastogetclosetotheKing’sear。Alicewassorryforthis，asshewantedtohearthenewstoo。However，insteadofwhispering，hesimplyshoutedatthetopofhisvoice`They’reatitagain!’
　　`DoyoucallTHATawhisper？’criedthepoorKing，jumpingupandshakinghimself。`Ifyoudosuchathingagain，I’llhaveyoubuttered!Itwentthroughandthroughmyheadlikeanearthquake!’
　　`Itwouldhavetobeaverytinyearthquake!’thoughtAlice。
　　`Whoareatitagain？’sheventuredtoask。
　　`WhytheLionandtheUnicorn，ofcourse，’saidtheKing。
　　`Fightingforthecrown？’
　　`Yes，tobesure，’saidtheKing：`andthebestofthejokeis，thatit’sMYcrownallthewhile!Let’srunandseethem。’
　　Andtheytrottedoff，Alicerepeatingtoherself，assheran，thewordsoftheoldsong：——
　　`TheLionandtheUnicornwerefightingforthecrown：
　　TheLionbeattheUnicornallroundthetown。
　　Somegavethemwhitebread，somegavethembrown；
　　Somegavethemplum—cakeanddrummedthemoutoftown。’
　　`Does——theone——thatwins——getthecrown？’sheasked，aswellasshecould，fortherunwasputtingherquiteoutofbreath。
　　`Dearme，no!’saidtheKing。`Whatanidea!’
　　`Wouldyou——begoodenough，’Alicepantedout，afterrunningalittlefurther，`tostopaminute——justtoget——one’sbreathagain？’
　　`I’mGOODenough，’theKingsaid，`onlyI’mnotstrongenough。
　　Yousee，aminutegoesbysofearfullyquick。YoumightaswelltrytostopaBandersnatch!’
　　Alicehadnomorebreathfortalking，sotheytrottedoninsilence，tilltheycameinsightofagreatcrowd，inthemiddleofwhichtheLionandUnicornwerefighting。Theywereinsuchacloudofdust，thatatfirstAlicecouldnotmakeoutwhichwaswhich：butshesoonmanagedtodistinguishtheUnicornbyhishorn。
　　TheyplacedthemselvesclosetowhereHatta，theothermessenger，wasstandingwatchingthefight，withacupofteainonehandandapieceofbread—and—butterintheother。
　　`He’sonlyjustoutofprison，andhehadn’tfinishedhisteawhenhewassentin，’HaighawhisperedtoAlice：`andtheyonlygivethemoyster—shellsinthere——soyouseehe’sveryhungryandthirsty。Howareyou，dearchild？’hewenton，puttinghisarmaffectionatelyroundHatta’sneck。
　　Hattalookedroundandnodded，andwentonwithhisbreadandbutter。
　　`Wereyouhappyinprison，dearchild？’saidHaigha。
　　Hattalookedroundoncemore，andthistimeatearortwotrickleddownhischeek：butnotawordwouldhesay。
　　`Speak，can’tyou!’Haighacriedimpatiently。ButHattaonlymunchedaway，anddranksomemoretea。
　　`Speak，won’tyou!’criedtheKing。’Howaretheygettingonwiththefight？’
　　Hattamadeadesperateeffort，andswallowedalargepieceofbread—and—butter。`They’regettingonverywell，’hesaidinachokingvoice：`eachofthemhasbeendownabouteighty—seventimes。’
　　`ThenIsupposethey’llsoonbringthewhitebreadandthebrown？’Aliceventuredtoremark。
　　`It’swaitingfor’emnow，’saidHatta：`thisisabitofitasI’meating。’
　　Therewasapauseinthefightjustthen，andtheLionandtheUnicornsatdown，panting，whiletheKingcalledout`Tenminutesallowedforrefreshments!’HaighaandHattasettoworkatonce，carryingroughtraysofwhiteandbrownbread。Alicetookapiecetotaste，butitwasVERYdry。
　　`Idon’tthinkthey’llfightanymoreto—day，’theKingsaidtoHatta：`goandorderthedrumstobegin。’AndHattawentboundingawaylikeagrasshopper。
　　ForaminuteortwoAlicestoodsilent，watchinghim。Suddenlyshebrightenedup。`Look，look!’shecried，pointingeagerly。
　　`There’stheWhiteQueenrunningacrossthecountry!Shecameflyingoutofthewoodoveryonder——HowfastthoseQueensCAN
　　run!’
　　`There’ssomeenemyafterher，nodoubt，’theKingsaid，withoutevenlookinground。`Thatwood’sfullofthem。’
　　`Butaren’tyougoingtorunandhelpher？’Aliceasked，verymuchsurprisedathistakingitsoquietly。
　　`Nouse，nouse!’saidtheKing。`Sherunssofearfullyquick。
　　YoumightaswelltrytocatchaBandersnatch!ButI’llmakeamemorandumabouther，ifyoulike——She’sadeargoodcreature，’
　　herepeatedsoftlytohimself，asheopenedhismemorandum—book。
　　`Doyouspell"creature"withadouble"e"？’
　　AtthismomenttheUnicornsaunteredbythem，withhishandsinhispockets。`Ihadthebestofitthistime？’hesaidtotheKing，justglancingathimashepassed。
　　`Alittle——alittle，’theKingreplied，rathernervously。
　　`Youshouldn’thaverunhimthroughwithyourhorn，youknow。’
　　`Itdidn’thurthim，’theUnicornsaidcarelessly，andhewasgoingon，whenhiseyehappenedtofalluponAlice：heturnedroundratherinstantly，andstoodforsometimelookingatherwithanairofthedeepestdisgust。
　　`What——is——this？’hesaidatlast。
　　`Thisisachild!’Haigharepliedeagerly，cominginfrontofAlicetointroduceher，andspreadingoutbothhishandstowardsherinanAnglo—Saxonattitude。`Weonlyfounditto—day。It’saslargeaslife，andtwiceasnatural!’
　　`Ialwaysthoughttheywerefabulousmonsters!’saidtheUnicorn。`Isitalive？’
　　`Itcantalk，’saidHaigha，solemnly。
　　TheUnicornlookeddreamilyatAlice，andsaid`Talk，child。’
　　Alicecouldnothelpherlipscurlingupintoasmileasshebegan：
　　`Doyouknow，IalwaysthoughtUnicornswerefabulousmonsters，too!
　　Ineversawonealivebefore!’
　　`Well，nowthatweHAVEseeneachother，’saidtheUnicorn，`ifyou’llbelieveinme，I’llbelieveinyou。Isthatabargain？’
　　`Yes，ifyoulike，’saidAlice。
　　`Come，fetchouttheplum—cake，oldman!’theUnicornwenton，turningfromhertotheKing。`Noneofyourbrownbreadforme!’
　　`Certainly——certainly!’theKingmuttered，andbeckonedtoHaigha。`Openthebag!’hewhispered。`Quick!Notthatone——
　　that’sfullofhay!’
　　Haighatookalargecakeoutofthebag，andgaveittoAlicetohold，whilehegotoutadishandcarving—knife。HowtheyallcameoutofitAlicecouldn’tguess。Itwasjustlikeaconjuring—trick，shethought。
　　TheLionhadjoinedthemwhilethiswasgoingon：helookedverytiredandsleepy，andhiseyeswerehalfshut。`What’sthis!’hesaid，blinkinglazilyatAlice，andspeakinginadeephollowtonethatsoundedlikethetollingofagreatbell。
　　`Ah，whatISit，now？’theUnicorncriedeagerly。`You’llneverguess!_I_couldn’t。’
　　TheLionlookedatAlicewearily。`Areyouanimal——vegetable——ormineral？’hesaid，yawningateveryotherword。
　　`It’safabulousmonster!’theUnicorncriedout，beforeAlicecouldreply。
　　`Thenhandroundtheplum—cake，Monster，’theLionsaid，lyingdownandputtinghischinonthispaws。`Andsitdown，bothofyou，’（totheKingandtheUnicorn）：`fairplaywiththecake，youknow!’
　　TheKingwasevidentlyveryuncomfortableathavingtositdownbetweenthetwogreatcreatures；buttherewasnootherplaceforhim。
　　`Whatafightwemighthaveforthecrown，NOW!’theUnicornsaid，lookingslylyupatthecrown，whichthepoorKingwasnearlyshakingoffhishead，hetrembledsomuch。
　　`Ishouldwineasy，’saidtheLion。
　　`I’mnotsosureofthat，’saidtheUnicorn。
　　`Why，Ibeatyouallroundthetown，youchicken!’theLionrepliedangrily，halfgettingupashespoke。
　　HeretheKinginterrupted，topreventthequarrelgoingon：hewasverynervous，andhisvoicequitequivered。`Allroundthetown？’hesaid。`That’sagoodlongway。Didyougobytheoldbridge，orthemarket—place？Yougetthebestviewbytheoldbridge。’
　　`I’msureIdon’tknow，’theLiongrowledoutashelaydownagain。`Therewastoomuchdusttoseeanything。WhatatimetheMonsteris，cuttingupthatcake!’
　　Alicehadseatedherselfonthebankofalittlebrook，withthegreatdishonherknees，andwassawingawaydiligentlywiththeknife。`It’sveryprovoking!’shesaid，inreplytotheLion（shewasgettingquiteusedtobeingcalled`theMonster’）。
　　`I’vecutseveralslicesalready，buttheyalwaysjoinonagain!’
　　`Youdon’tknowhowtomanageLooking—glasscakes，’theUnicornremarked。`Handitroundfirst，andcutitafterwards。’
　　Thissoundednonsense，butAliceveryobedientlygotup，andcarriedthedishround，andthecakedivideditselfintothreepiecesasshedidso。`NOWcutitup，’saidtheLion，asshereturnedtoherplacewiththeemptydish。
　　`Isay，thisisn’tfair!’criedtheUnicorn，asAlicesatwiththeknifeinherhand，verymuchpuzzledhowtobegin。`TheMonsterhasgiventheLiontwiceasmuchasme!’
　　`She’skeptnoneforherself，anyhow，’saidtheLion。`Doyoulikeplum—cake，Monster？’
　　ButbeforeAlicecouldanswerhim，thedrumsbegan。
　　Wherethenoisecamefrom，shecouldn’tmakeout：theairseemedfullofit，anditrangthroughandthroughherheadtillshefeltquitedeafened。Shestartedtoherfeetandsprangacrossthelittlebrookinherterror，*******
　　******
　　*******
　　andhadjusttimetoseetheLionandtheUnicornrisetotheirfeet，withangrylooksatbeinginterruptedintheirfeast，beforeshedroppedtoherknees，andputherhandsoverherears，vainlytryingtoshutoutthedreadfuluproar。