Andshethoughtofherself，`Iwishthecreatureswouldn’tbesoeasilyoffended!’
　　`You’llgetusedtoitintime，’saidtheCaterpillar；anditputthehookahintoitsmouthandbegansmokingagain。
　　ThistimeAlicewaitedpatientlyuntilitchosetospeakagain。
　　InaminuteortwotheCaterpillartookthehookahoutofitsmouthandyawnedonceortwice，andshookitself。Thenitgotdownoffthemushroom，andcrawledawayinthegrass，merelyremarkingasitwent，`Onesidewillmakeyougrowtaller，andtheothersidewillmakeyougrowshorter。’
　　`OnesideofWHAT？TheothersideofWHAT？’thoughtAlicetoherself。
　　`Ofthemushroom，’saidtheCaterpillar，justasifshehadaskeditaloud；andinanothermomentitwasoutofsight。
　　Aliceremainedlookingthoughtfullyatthemushroomforaminute，tryingtomakeoutwhichwerethetwosidesofit；andasitwasperfectlyround，shefoundthisaverydifficultquestion。
　　However，atlastshestretchedherarmsrounditasfarastheywouldgo，andbrokeoffabitoftheedgewitheachhand。
　　`Andnowwhichiswhich？’shesaidtoherself，andnibbledalittleoftheright—handbittotrytheeffect：thenextmomentshefeltaviolentblowunderneathherchin：ithadstruckherfoot!
　　Shewasagooddealfrightenedbythisverysuddenchange，butshefeltthattherewasnotimetobelost，asshewasshrinkingrapidly；soshesettoworkatoncetoeatsomeoftheotherbit。
　　Herchinwaspressedsocloselyagainstherfoot，thattherewashardlyroomtoopenhermouth；butshediditatlast，andmanagedtoswallowamorselofthelefthandbit。
　　`Come，myhead’sfreeatlast!’saidAliceinatoneofdelight，whichchangedintoalarminanothermoment，whenshefoundthathershoulderswerenowheretobefound：allshecouldsee，whenshelookeddown，wasanimmenselengthofneck，whichseemedtoriselikeastalkoutofaseaofgreenleavesthatlayfarbelowher。
　　`WhatCANallthatgreenstuffbe？’saidAlice。`AndwhereHAVEmyshouldersgotto？Andoh，mypoorhands，howisitI
　　can’tseeyou？’Shewasmovingthemaboutasshespoke，butnoresultseemedtofollow，exceptalittleshakingamongthedistantgreenleaves。
　　Asthereseemedtobenochanceofgettingherhandsuptoherhead，shetriedtogetherheaddowntothem，andwasdelightedtofindthatherneckwouldbendabouteasilyinanydirection，likeaserpent。Shehadjustsucceededincurvingitdownintoagracefulzigzag，andwasgoingtodiveinamongtheleaves，whichshefoundtobenothingbutthetopsofthetreesunderwhichshehadbeenwandering，whenasharphissmadeherdrawbackinahurry：alargepigeonhadflownintoherface，andwasbeatingherviolentlywithitswings。
　　`Serpent!’screamedthePigeon。
　　`I’mNOTaserpent!’saidAliceindignantly。`Letmealone!’
　　`Serpent，Isayagain!’repeatedthePigeon，butinamoresubduedtone，andaddedwithakindofsob，`I’vetriedeveryway，andnothingseemstosuitthem!’
　　`Ihaven’ttheleastideawhatyou’retalkingabout，’saidAlice。
　　`I’vetriedtherootsoftrees，andI’vetriedbanks，andI’vetriedhedges，’thePigeonwenton，withoutattendingtoher；`butthoseserpents!There’snopleasingthem!’
　　Alicewasmoreandmorepuzzled，butshethoughttherewasnouseinsayinganythingmoretillthePigeonhadfinished。
　　`Asifitwasn’ttroubleenoughhatchingtheeggs，’saidthePigeon；`butImustbeonthelook—outforserpentsnightandday!Why，Ihaven’thadawinkofsleepthesethreeweeks!’
　　`I’mverysorryyou’vebeenannoyed，’saidAlice，whowasbeginningtoseeitsmeaning。
　　`AndjustasI’dtakenthehighesttreeinthewood，’continuedthePigeon，raisingitsvoicetoashriek，`andjustasIwasthinkingIshouldbefreeofthematlast，theymustneedscomewrigglingdownfromthesky!Ugh，Serpent!’
　　`ButI’mNOTaserpent，Itellyou!’saidAlice。`I’ma——I’ma——’
　　`Well!WHATareyou？’saidthePigeon。`Icanseeyou’retryingtoinventsomething!’
　　`I——I’malittlegirl，’saidAlice，ratherdoubtfully，assherememberedthenumberofchangesshehadgonethroughthatday。
　　`Alikelystoryindeed!’saidthePigeoninatoneofthedeepestcontempt。`I’veseenagoodmanylittlegirlsinmytime，butneverONEwithsuchaneckasthat!No，no!You’reaserpent；andthere’snousedenyingit。Isupposeyou’llbetellingmenextthatyounevertastedanegg!’
　　`IHAVEtastedeggs，certainly，’saidAlice，whowasaverytruthfulchild；`butlittlegirlseateggsquiteasmuchasserpentsdo，youknow。’
　　`Idon’tbelieveit，’saidthePigeon；`butiftheydo，whythenthey’reakindofserpent，that’sallIcansay。’
　　ThiswassuchanewideatoAlice，thatshewasquitesilentforaminuteortwo，whichgavethePigeontheopportunityofadding，`You’relookingforeggs，IknowTHATwellenough；andwhatdoesitmattertomewhetheryou’realittlegirloraserpent？’
　　`ItmattersagooddealtoME，’saidAlicehastily；`butI’mnotlookingforeggs，asithappens；andifIwas，Ishouldn’twantYOURS：Idon’tlikethemraw。’
　　`Well，beoff，then!’saidthePigeoninasulkytone，asitsettleddownagainintoitsnest。Alicecroucheddownamongthetreesaswellasshecould，forherneckkeptgettingentangledamongthebranches，andeverynowandthenshehadtostopanduntwistit。Afterawhilesherememberedthatshestillheldthepiecesofmushroominherhands，andshesettoworkverycarefully，nibblingfirstatoneandthenattheother，andgrowingsometimestallerandsometimesshorter，untilshehadsucceededinbringingherselfdowntoherusualheight。
　　Itwassolongsinceshehadbeenanythingneartherightsize，thatitfeltquitestrangeatfirst；butshegotusedtoitinafewminutes，andbegantalkingtoherself，asusual。`Come，there’shalfmyplandonenow!Howpuzzlingallthesechangesare!I’mneversurewhatI’mgoingtobe，fromoneminutetoanother!However，I’vegotbacktomyrightsize：thenextthingis，togetintothatbeautifulgarden——howISthattobedone，Iwonder？’Asshesaidthis，shecamesuddenlyuponanopenplace，withalittlehouseinitaboutfourfeethigh。
　　`Whoeverlivesthere，’thoughtAlice，`it’llneverdotocomeuponthemTHISsize：why，Ishouldfrightenthemoutoftheirwits!’Soshebegannibblingattherighthandbitagain，anddidnotventuretogonearthehousetillshehadbroughtherselfdowntonineincheshigh。
　　CHAPTERVI
　　PigandPepperForaminuteortwoshestoodlookingatthehouse，andwonderingwhattodonext，whensuddenlyafootmaninliverycamerunningoutofthewood——（sheconsideredhimtobeafootmanbecausehewasinlivery：otherwise，judgingbyhisfaceonly，shewouldhavecalledhimafish）——andrappedloudlyatthedoorwithhisknuckles。Itwasopenedbyanotherfootmaninlivery，witharoundface，andlargeeyeslikeafrog；andbothfootmen，Alicenoticed，hadpowderedhairthatcurledallovertheirheads。Shefeltverycurioustoknowwhatitwasallabout，andcreptalittlewayoutofthewoodtolisten。
　　TheFish—Footmanbeganbyproducingfromunderhisarmagreatletter，nearlyaslargeashimself，andthishehandedovertotheother，saying，inasolemntone，`FortheDuchess。AninvitationfromtheQueentoplaycroquet。’TheFrog—Footmanrepeated，inthesamesolemntone，onlychangingtheorderofthewordsalittle，`FromtheQueen。AninvitationfortheDuchesstoplaycroquet。’
　　Thentheybothbowedlow，andtheircurlsgotentangledtogether。
　　Alicelaughedsomuchatthis，thatshehadtorunbackintothewoodforfearoftheirhearingher；andwhenshenextpeepedouttheFish—Footmanwasgone，andtheotherwassittingonthegroundnearthedoor，staringstupidlyupintothesky。
　　Alicewenttimidlyuptothedoor，andknocked。
　　`There’snosortofuseinknocking，’saidtheFootman，`andthatfortworeasons。First，becauseI’monthesamesideofthedoorasyouare；secondly，becausethey’remakingsuchanoiseinside，noonecouldpossiblyhearyou。’Andcertainlytherewasamostextraordinarynoisegoingonwithin——aconstanthowlingandsneezing，andeverynowandthenagreatcrash，asifadishorkettlehadbeenbrokentopieces。
　　`Please，then，’saidAlice，`howamItogetin？’
　　`Theremightbesomesenseinyourknocking，’theFootmanwentonwithoutattendingtoher，`ifwehadthedoorbetweenus。Forinstance，ifyouwereINSIDE，youmightknock，andIcouldletyouout，youknow。’Hewaslookingupintotheskyallthetimehewasspeaking，andthisAlicethoughtdecidedlyuncivil。`Butperhapshecan’thelpit，’shesaidtoherself；`hiseyesaresoVERYnearlyatthetopofhishead。Butatanyratehemightanswerquestions。——HowamItogetin？’sherepeated，aloud。
　　`Ishallsithere，’theFootmanremarked，`tilltomorrow——’
　　Atthismomentthedoorofthehouseopened，andalargeplatecameskimmingout，straightattheFootman’shead：itjustgrazedhisnose，andbroketopiecesagainstoneofthetreesbehindhim。
　　`——ornextday，maybe，’theFootmancontinuedinthesametone，exactlyasifnothinghadhappened。
　　`HowamItogetin？’askedAliceagain，inaloudertone。
　　`AREyoutogetinatall？’saidtheFootman。`That’sthefirstquestion，youknow。’
　　Itwas，nodoubt：onlyAlicedidnotliketobetoldso。
　　`It’sreallydreadful，’shemutteredtoherself，`thewayallthecreaturesargue。It’senoughtodriveonecrazy!’
　　TheFootmanseemedtothinkthisagoodopportunityforrepeatinghisremark，withvariations。`Ishallsithere，’hesaid，`onandoff，fordaysanddays。’
　　`ButwhatamItodo？’saidAlice。
　　`Anythingyoulike，’saidtheFootman，andbeganwhistling。
　　`Oh，there’snouseintalkingtohim，’saidAlicedesperately：
　　`he’sperfectlyidiotic!’Andsheopenedthedoorandwentin。
　　Thedoorledrightintoalargekitchen，whichwasfullofsmokefromoneendtotheother：theDuchesswassittingonathree—leggedstoolinthemiddle，nursingababy；thecookwasleaningoverthefire，stirringalargecauldronwhichseemedtobefullofsoup。
　　`There’scertainlytoomuchpepperinthatsoup!’Alicesaidtoherself，aswellasshecouldforsneezing。
　　Therewascertainlytoomuchofitintheair。EventheDuchesssneezedoccasionally；andasforthebaby，itwassneezingandhowlingalternatelywithoutamoment’spause。Theonlythingsinthekitchenthatdidnotsneeze，werethecook，andalargecatwhichwassittingonthehearthandgrinningfromeartoear。
　　`Pleasewouldyoutellme，’saidAlice，alittletimidly，forshewasnotquitesurewhetheritwasgoodmannersforhertospeakfirst，`whyyourcatgrinslikethat？’
　　`It’saCheshirecat，’saidtheDuchess，`andthat’swhy。Pig!’
　　ShesaidthelastwordwithsuchsuddenviolencethatAlicequitejumped；butshesawinanothermomentthatitwasaddressedtothebaby，andnottoher，soshetookcourage，andwentonagain：——
　　`Ididn’tknowthatCheshirecatsalwaysgrinned；infact，I
　　didn’tknowthatcatsCOULDgrin。’
　　`Theyallcan，’saidtheDuchess；`andmostof’emdo。’
　　`Idon’tknowofanythatdo，’Alicesaidverypolitely，feelingquitepleasedtohavegotintoaconversation。
　　`Youdon’tknowmuch，’saidtheDuchess；`andthat’safact。’
　　Alicedidnotatalllikethetoneofthisremark，andthoughtitwouldbeaswelltointroducesomeothersubjectofconversation。Whileshewastryingtofixonone，thecooktookthecauldronofsoupoffthefire，andatoncesettoworkthrowingeverythingwithinherreachattheDuchessandthebaby——thefire—ironscamefirst；thenfollowedashowerofsaucepans，plates，anddishes。TheDuchesstooknonoticeofthemevenwhentheyhither；andthebabywashowlingsomuchalready，thatitwasquiteimpossibletosaywhethertheblowshurtitornot。
　　`Oh，PLEASEmindwhatyou’redoing!’criedAlice，jumpingupanddowninanagonyofterror。`Oh，theregoeshisPRECIOUS
　　nose’；asanunusuallylargesaucepanflewclosebyit，andverynearlycarrieditoff。
　　`Ifeverybodymindedtheirownbusiness，’theDuchesssaidinahoarsegrowl，`theworldwouldgoroundadealfasterthanitdoes。’
　　`WhichwouldNOTbeanadvantage，’saidAlice，whofeltverygladtogetanopportunityofshowingoffalittleofherknowledge。`Justthinkofwhatworkitwouldmakewiththedayandnight!Youseetheearthtakestwenty—fourhourstoturnroundonitsaxis——’
　　`Talkingofaxes，’saidtheDuchess，`chopoffherhead!’
　　Aliceglancedratheranxiouslyatthecook，toseeifshemeanttotakethehint；butthecookwasbusilystirringthesoup，andseemednottobelistening，soshewentonagain：`Twenty—fourhours，ITHINK；orisittwelve？I——’
　　`Oh，don’tbotherME，’saidtheDuchess；`Inevercouldabidefigures!’Andwiththatshebegannursingherchildagain，singingasortoflullabytoitasshedidso，andgivingitaviolentshakeattheendofeveryline：
　　`Speakroughlytoyourlittleboy，Andbeathimwhenhesneezes：
　　Heonlydoesittoannoy，Becauseheknowsitteases。’
　　CHORUS。
　　（Inwhichthecookandthebabyjoined）：——
　　`Wow!wow!wow!’
　　WhiletheDuchesssangthesecondverseofthesong，shekepttossingthebabyviolentlyupanddown，andthepoorlittlethinghowledso，thatAlicecouldhardlyhearthewords：——
　　`Ispeakseverelytomyboy，Ibeathimwhenhesneezes；
　　ForhecanthoroughlyenjoyThepepperwhenhepleases!’
　　CHORUS。
　　`Wow!wow!wow!’
　　`Here!youmaynurseitabit，ifyoulike!’theDuchesssaidtoAlice，flingingthebabyatherasshespoke。`ImustgoandgetreadytoplaycroquetwiththeQueen，’andshehurriedoutoftheroom。Thecookthrewafrying—panafterherasshewentout，butitjustmissedher。
　　Alicecaughtthebabywithsomedifficulty，asitwasaqueer—
　　shapedlittlecreature，andheldoutitsarmsandlegsinalldirections，`justlikeastar—fish，’thoughtAlice。Thepoorlittlethingwassnortinglikeasteam—enginewhenshecaughtit，andkeptdoublingitselfupandstraighteningitselfoutagain，sothataltogether，forthefirstminuteortwo，itwasasmuchasshecoulddotoholdit。
　　Assoonasshehadmadeouttheproperwayofnursingit，（whichwastotwistitupintoasortofknot，andthenkeeptightholdofitsrightearandleftfoot，soastopreventitsundoingitself，）shecarrieditoutintotheopenair。`IFI
　　don’ttakethischildawaywithme，’thoughtAlice，`they’resuretokillitinadayortwo：wouldn’titbemurdertoleaveitbehind？’Shesaidthelastwordsoutloud，andthelittlethinggruntedinreply（ithadleftoffsneezingbythistime）。`Don’tgrunt，’saidAlice；`that’snotatallaproperwayofexpressingyourself。’
　　Thebabygruntedagain，andAlicelookedveryanxiouslyintoitsfacetoseewhatwasthematterwithit。TherecouldbenodoubtthatithadaVERYturn—upnose，muchmorelikeasnoutthanarealnose；alsoitseyesweregettingextremelysmallforababy：altogetherAlicedidnotlikethelookofthethingatall。`Butperhapsitwasonlysobbing，’shethought，andlookedintoitseyesagain，toseeiftherewereanytears。
　　No，therewerenotears。`Ifyou’regoingtoturnintoapig，mydear，’saidAlice，seriously，`I’llhavenothingmoretodowithyou。Mindnow!’Thepoorlittlethingsobbedagain（orgrunted，itwasimpossibletosaywhich），andtheywentonforsomewhileinsilence。
　　Alicewasjustbeginningtothinktoherself，`Now，whatamI
　　todowiththiscreaturewhenIgetithome？’whenitgruntedagain，soviolently，thatshelookeddownintoitsfaceinsomealarm。ThistimetherecouldbeNOmistakeaboutit：itwasneithermorenorlessthanapig，andshefeltthatitwouldbequiteabsurdforhertocarryitfurther。
　　Soshesetthelittlecreaturedown，andfeltquiterelievedtoseeittrotawayquietlyintothewood。`Ifithadgrownup，’
　　shesaidtoherself，`itwouldhavemadeadreadfullyuglychild：
　　butitmakesratherahandsomepig，Ithink。’Andshebeganthinkingoverotherchildrensheknew，whomightdoverywellaspigs，andwasjustsayingtoherself，`ifoneonlyknewtherightwaytochangethem——’whenshewasalittlestartledbyseeingtheCheshireCatsittingonaboughofatreeafewyardsoff。
　　TheCatonlygrinnedwhenitsawAlice。Itlookedgood—
　　natured，shethought：stillithadVERYlongclawsandagreatmanyteeth，soshefeltthatitoughttobetreatedwithrespect。
　　`CheshirePuss，’shebegan，rathertimidly，asshedidnotatallknowwhetheritwouldlikethename：however，itonlygrinnedalittlewider。`Come，it’spleasedsofar，’thoughtAlice，andshewenton。`Wouldyoutellme，please，whichwayI
　　oughttogofromhere？’
　　`Thatdependsagooddealonwhereyouwanttogetto，’saidtheCat。
　　`Idon’tmuchcarewhere——’saidAlice。
　　`Thenitdoesn’tmatterwhichwayyougo，’saidtheCat。
　　`——solongasIgetSOMEWHERE，’Aliceaddedasanexplanation。
　　`Oh，you’resuretodothat，’saidtheCat，`ifyouonlywalklongenough。’
　　Alicefeltthatthiscouldnotbedenied，soshetriedanotherquestion。`Whatsortofpeopleliveabouthere？’
　　`InTHATdirection，’theCatsaid，wavingitsrightpawround，`livesaHatter：andinTHATdirection，’wavingtheotherpaw，`livesaMarchHare。Visiteitheryoulike：they’rebothmad。’
　　`ButIdon’twanttogoamongmadpeople，’Aliceremarked。
　　`Oh，youcan’thelpthat，’saidtheCat：`we’reallmadhere。
　　I’mmad。You’remad。’
　　`HowdoyouknowI’mmad？’saidAlice。
　　`Youmustbe，’saidtheCat，`oryouwouldn’thavecomehere。’
　　Alicedidn’tthinkthatproveditatall；however，shewenton`Andhowdoyouknowthatyou’remad？’
　　`Tobeginwith，’saidtheCat，`adog’snotmad。Yougrantthat？’
　　`Isupposeso，’saidAlice。
　　`Well，then，’theCatwenton，`yousee，adoggrowlswhenit’sangry，andwagsitstailwhenit’spleased。NowIgrowlwhenI’mpleased，andwagmytailwhenI’mangry。ThereforeI’mmad。’
　　`Icallitpurring，notgrowling，’saidAlice。
　　`Callitwhatyoulike，’saidtheCat。`DoyouplaycroquetwiththeQueento—day？’
　　`Ishouldlikeitverymuch，’saidAlice，`butIhaven’tbeeninvitedyet。’
　　`You’llseemethere，’saidtheCat，andvanished。
　　Alicewasnotmuchsurprisedatthis，shewasgettingsousedtoqueerthingshappening。Whileshewaslookingattheplacewhereithadbeen，itsuddenlyappearedagain。
　　`By—the—bye，whatbecameofthebaby？’saidtheCat。`I’dnearlyforgottentoask。’
　　`Itturnedintoapig，’Alicequietlysaid，justasifithadcomebackinanaturalway。
　　`Ithoughtitwould，’saidtheCat，andvanishedagain。
　　Alicewaitedalittle，halfexpectingtoseeitagain，butitdidnotappear，andafteraminuteortwoshewalkedoninthedirectioninwhichtheMarchHarewassaidtolive。`I’veseenhattersbefore，’shesaidtoherself；`theMarchHarewillbemuchthemostinteresting，andperhapsasthisisMayitwon’tberavingmad——atleastnotsomadasitwasinMarch。’Asshesaidthis，shelookedup，andtherewastheCatagain，sittingonabranchofatree。
　　`Didyousaypig，orfig？’saidtheCat。
　　`Isaidpig，’repliedAlice；`andIwishyouwouldn’tkeepappearingandvanishingsosuddenly：youmakeonequitegiddy。’
　　`Allright，’saidtheCat；andthistimeitvanishedquiteslowly，beginningwiththeendofthetail，andendingwiththegrin，whichremainedsometimeaftertherestofithadgone。
　　`Well!I’veoftenseenacatwithoutagrin，’thoughtAlice；
　　`butagrinwithoutacat!It’sthemostcuriousthingIeversawinmylife!’
　　ShehadnotgonemuchfartherbeforeshecameinsightofthehouseoftheMarchHare：shethoughtitmustbetherighthouse，becausethechimneyswereshapedlikeearsandtheroofwasthatchedwithfur。Itwassolargeahouse，thatshedidnotliketogonearertillshehadnibbledsomemoreofthelefthandbitofmushroom，andraisedherselftoabouttwofeethigh：eventhenshewalkeduptowardsitrathertimidly，sayingtoherself`Supposeitshouldberavingmadafterall!IalmostwishI’dgonetoseetheHatterinstead!’
　　CHAPTERVII
　　AMadTea—PartyTherewasatablesetoutunderatreeinfrontofthehouse，andtheMarchHareandtheHatterwerehavingteaatit：aDormousewassittingbetweenthem，fastasleep，andtheothertwowereusingitasacushion，restingtheirelbowsonit，andtalkingoveritshead。`VeryuncomfortablefortheDormouse，’thoughtAlice；
　　`only，asit’sasleep，Isupposeitdoesn’tmind。’
　　Thetablewasalargeone，butthethreewereallcrowdedtogetheratonecornerofit：`Noroom!Noroom!’theycriedoutwhentheysawAlicecoming。`There’sPLENTYofroom!’saidAliceindignantly，andshesatdowninalargearm—chairatoneendofthetable。
　　`Havesomewine，’theMarchHaresaidinanencouragingtone。
　　Alicelookedallroundthetable，buttherewasnothingonitbuttea。`Idon’tseeanywine，’sheremarked。
　　`Thereisn’tany，’saidtheMarchHare。
　　`Thenitwasn’tverycivilofyoutoofferit，’saidAliceangrily。
　　`Itwasn’tverycivilofyoutositdownwithoutbeinginvited，’saidtheMarchHare。
　　`Ididn’tknowitwasYOURtable，’saidAlice；`it’slaidforagreatmanymorethanthree。’
　　`Yourhairwantscutting，’saidtheHatter。HehadbeenlookingatAliceforsometimewithgreatcuriosity，andthiswashisfirstspeech。
　　`Youshouldlearnnottomakepersonalremarks，’Alicesaidwithsomeseverity；`it’sveryrude。’
　　TheHatteropenedhiseyesverywideonhearingthis；butallheSAIDwas，`Whyisaravenlikeawriting—desk？’
　　`Come，weshallhavesomefunnow!’thoughtAlice。`I’mgladthey’vebegunaskingriddles。——IbelieveIcanguessthat，’sheaddedaloud。
　　`Doyoumeanthatyouthinkyoucanfindouttheanswertoit？’
　　saidtheMarchHare。
　　`Exactlyso，’saidAlice。
　　`Thenyoushouldsaywhatyoumean，’theMarchHarewenton。
　　`Ido，’Alicehastilyreplied；`atleast——atleastImeanwhatIsay——that’sthesamething，youknow。’
　　`Notthesamethingabit!’saidtheHatter。`Youmightjustaswellsaythat"IseewhatIeat"isthesamethingas"IeatwhatIsee"!’
　　`Youmightjustaswellsay，’addedtheMarchHare，`that"I
　　likewhatIget"isthesamethingas"IgetwhatIlike"!’
　　`Youmightjustaswellsay，’addedtheDormouse，whoseemedtobetalkinginhissleep，`that"IbreathewhenIsleep"isthesamethingas"IsleepwhenIbreathe"!’
　　`ItISthesamethingwithyou，’saidtheHatter，andheretheconversationdropped，andthepartysatsilentforaminute，whileAlicethoughtoverallshecouldrememberaboutravensandwriting—desks，whichwasn’tmuch。
　　TheHatterwasthefirsttobreakthesilence。`Whatdayofthemonthisit？’hesaid，turningtoAlice：hehadtakenhiswatchoutofhispocket，andwaslookingatituneasily，shakingiteverynowandthen，andholdingittohisear。
　　Aliceconsideredalittle，andthensaid`Thefourth。’
　　`Twodayswrong!’sighedtheHatter。`Itoldyoubutterwouldn’tsuittheworks!’headdedlookingangrilyattheMarchHare。
　　`ItwastheBESTbutter，’theMarchHaremeeklyreplied。
　　`Yes，butsomecrumbsmusthavegotinaswell，’theHattergrumbled：`youshouldn’thaveputitinwiththebread—knife。’
　　TheMarchHaretookthewatchandlookedatitgloomily：thenhedippeditintohiscupoftea，andlookedatitagain：buthecouldthinkofnothingbettertosaythanhisfirstremark，`ItwastheBESTbutter，youknow。’
　　Alicehadbeenlookingoverhisshoulderwithsomecuriosity。
　　`Whatafunnywatch!’sheremarked。`Ittellsthedayofthemonth，anddoesn’ttellwhato’clockitis!’
　　`Whyshouldit？’mutteredtheHatter。`DoesYOURwatchtellyouwhatyearitis？’
　　`Ofcoursenot，’Alicerepliedveryreadily：`butthat’sbecauseitstaysthesameyearforsuchalongtimetogether。’
　　`WhichisjustthecasewithMINE，’saidtheHatter。
　　Alicefeltdreadfullypuzzled。TheHatter’sremarkseemedtohavenosortofmeaninginit，andyetitwascertainlyEnglish。
　　`Idon’tquiteunderstandyou，’shesaid，aspolitelyasshecould。
　　`TheDormouseisasleepagain，’saidtheHatter，andhepouredalittlehotteauponitsnose。
　　TheDormouseshookitsheadimpatiently，andsaid，withoutopeningitseyes，`Ofcourse，ofcourse；justwhatIwasgoingtoremarkmyself。’
　　`Haveyouguessedtheriddleyet？’theHattersaid，turningtoAliceagain。
　　`No，Igiveitup，’Alicereplied：`what’stheanswer？’
　　`Ihaven’ttheslightestidea，’saidtheHatter。
　　`NorI，’saidtheMarchHare。
　　Alicesighedwearily。`Ithinkyoumightdosomethingbetterwiththetime，’shesaid，`thanwasteitinaskingriddlesthathavenoanswers。’
　　`IfyouknewTimeaswellasIdo，’saidtheHatter，`youwouldn’ttalkaboutwastingIT。It’sHIM。’
　　`Idon’tknowwhatyoumean，’saidAlice。
　　`Ofcourseyoudon’t!’theHattersaid，tossinghisheadcontemptuously。`IdaresayyouneverevenspoketoTime!’
　　`Perhapsnot，’Alicecautiouslyreplied：`butIknowIhavetobeattimewhenIlearnmusic。’
　　`Ah!thataccountsforit，’saidtheHatter。`Hewon’tstandbeating。Now，ifyouonlykeptongoodtermswithhim，he’ddoalmostanythingyoulikedwiththeclock。Forinstance，supposeitwerenineo’clockinthemorning，justtimetobeginlessons：
　　you’donlyhavetowhisperahinttoTime，androundgoestheclockinatwinkling!Half—pastone，timefordinner!’
　　（`Ionlywishitwas，’theMarchHaresaidtoitselfinawhisper。）
　　`Thatwouldbegrand，certainly，’saidAlicethoughtfully：
　　`butthen——Ishouldn’tbehungryforit，youknow。’
　　`Notatfirst，perhaps，’saidtheHatter：`butyoucouldkeepittohalf—pastoneaslongasyouliked。’
　　`IsthatthewayYOUmanage？’Aliceasked。
　　TheHattershookhisheadmournfully。`NotI!’hereplied。
　　`WequarrelledlastMarch——justbeforeHEwentmad，youknow——’
　　（pointingwithhisteaspoonattheMarchHare，）`——itwasatthegreatconcertgivenbytheQueenofHearts，andIhadtosing"Twinkle，twinkle，littlebat!
　　HowIwonderwhatyou’reat!"
　　Youknowthesong，perhaps？’
　　`I’veheardsomethinglikeit，’saidAlice。
　　`Itgoeson，youknow，’theHattercontinued，`inthisway：——
　　"Upabovetheworldyoufly，Likeatea—trayinthesky。
　　Twinkle，twinkle——"’
　　HeretheDormouseshookitself，andbegansinginginitssleep`Twinkle，twinkle，twinkle，twinkle——’andwentonsolongthattheyhadtopinchittomakeitstop。
　　`Well，I’dhardlyfinishedthefirstverse，’saidtheHatter，`whentheQueenjumpedupandbawledout，"He’smurderingthetime!Offwithhishead!"’
　　`Howdreadfullysavage!’exclaimedAlice。
　　`Andeversincethat，’theHatterwentoninamournfultone，`hewon’tdoathingIask!It’salwayssixo’clocknow。’
　　AbrightideacameintoAlice’shead。`Isthatthereasonsomanytea—thingsareputouthere？’sheasked。
　　`Yes，that’sit，’saidtheHatterwithasigh：`it’salwaystea—time，andwe’venotimetowashthethingsbetweenwhiles。’
　　`Thenyoukeepmovinground，Isuppose？’saidAlice。
　　`Exactlyso，’saidtheHatter：`asthethingsgetusedup。’
　　`Butwhathappenswhenyoucometothebeginningagain？’Aliceventuredtoask。
　　`Supposewechangethesubject，’theMarchHareinterrupted，yawning。`I’mgettingtiredofthis。Ivotetheyoungladytellsusastory。’
　　`I’mafraidIdon’tknowone，’saidAlice，ratheralarmedattheproposal。
　　`ThentheDormouseshall!’theybothcried。`Wakeup，Dormouse!’Andtheypincheditonbothsidesatonce。
　　TheDormouseslowlyopenedhiseyes。`Iwasn’tasleep，’hesaidinahoarse，feeblevoice：`Iheardeverywordyoufellowsweresaying。’
　　`Tellusastory!’saidtheMarchHare。
　　`Yes，pleasedo!’pleadedAlice。
　　`Andbequickaboutit，’addedtheHatter，`oryou’llbeasleepagainbeforeit’sdone。’
　　`Onceuponatimetherewerethreelittlesisters，’theDormousebeganinagreathurry；`andtheirnameswereElsie，Lacie，andTillie；andtheylivedatthebottomofawell——’
　　`Whatdidtheyliveon？’saidAlice，whoalwaystookagreatinterestinquestionsofeatinganddrinking。
　　`Theylivedontreacle，’saidtheDormouse，afterthinkingaminuteortwo。
　　`Theycouldn’thavedonethat，youknow，’Alicegentlyremarked；`they’dhavebeenill。’
　　`Sotheywere，’saidtheDormouse；`VERYill。’
　　Alicetriedtofancytoherselfwhatsuchanextraordinarywaysoflivingwouldbelike，butitpuzzledhertoomuch，soshewenton：`Butwhydidtheyliveatthebottomofawell？’
　　`Takesomemoretea，’theMarchHaresaidtoAlice，veryearnestly。
　　`I’vehadnothingyet，’Alicerepliedinanoffendedtone，`soIcan’ttakemore。’
　　`Youmeanyoucan’ttakeLESS，’saidtheHatter：`it’sveryeasytotakeMOREthannothing。’
　　`NobodyaskedYOURopinion，’saidAlice。
　　`Who’smakingpersonalremarksnow？’theHatteraskedtriumphantly。
　　Alicedidnotquiteknowwhattosaytothis：soshehelpedherselftosometeaandbread—and—butter，andthenturnedtotheDormouse，andrepeatedherquestion。`Whydidtheyliveatthebottomofawell？’
　　TheDormouseagaintookaminuteortwotothinkaboutit，andthensaid，`Itwasatreacle—well。’
　　`There’snosuchthing!’Alicewasbeginningveryangrily，buttheHatterandtheMarchHarewent`Sh!sh!’andtheDormousesulkilyremarked，`Ifyoucan’tbecivil，you’dbetterfinishthestoryforyourself。’
　　`No，pleasegoon!’Alicesaidveryhumbly；`Iwon’tinterruptagain。IdaresaytheremaybeONE。’
　　`One，indeed!’saidtheDormouseindignantly。However，heconsentedtogoon。`Andsothesethreelittlesisters——theywerelearningtodraw，youknow——’
　　`Whatdidtheydraw？’saidAlice，quiteforgettingherpromise。
　　`Treacle，’saidtheDormouse，withoutconsideringatallthistime。
　　`Iwantacleancup，’interruptedtheHatter：`let’sallmoveoneplaceon。’
　　Hemovedonashespoke，andtheDormousefollowedhim：theMarchHaremovedintotheDormouse’splace，andAliceratherunwillinglytooktheplaceoftheMarchHare。TheHatterwastheonlyonewhogotanyadvantagefromthechange：andAlicewasagooddealworseoffthanbefore，astheMarchHarehadjustupsetthemilk—jugintohisplate。
　　AlicedidnotwishtooffendtheDormouseagain，soshebeganverycautiously：`ButIdon’tunderstand。Wheredidtheydrawthetreaclefrom？’
　　`Youcandrawwateroutofawater—well，’saidtheHatter；`soIshouldthinkyoucoulddrawtreacleoutofatreacle—well——eh，stupid？’
　　`ButtheywereINthewell，’AlicesaidtotheDormouse，notchoosingtonoticethislastremark。
　　`Ofcoursetheywere’，saidtheDormouse；`——wellin。’
　　ThisanswersoconfusedpoorAlice，thatshelettheDormousegoonforsometimewithoutinterruptingit。
　　`Theywerelearningtodraw，’theDormousewenton，yawningandrubbingitseyes，foritwasgettingverysleepy；`andtheydrewallmannerofthings——everythingthatbeginswithanM——’
　　`WhywithanM？’saidAlice。
　　`Whynot？’saidtheMarchHare。
　　Alicewassilent。
　　TheDormousehadcloseditseyesbythistime，andwasgoingoffintoadoze；but，onbeingpinchedbytheHatter，itwokeupagainwithalittleshriek，andwenton：`——thatbeginswithanM，suchasmouse—traps，andthemoon，andmemory，andmuchness——
　　youknowyousaythingsare"muchofamuchness"——didyoueverseesuchathingasadrawingofamuchness？’
　　`Really，nowyouaskme，’saidAlice，verymuchconfused，`I
　　don’tthink——’
　　`Thenyoushouldn’ttalk，’saidtheHatter。
　　ThispieceofrudenesswasmorethanAlicecouldbear：shegotupingreatdisgust，andwalkedoff；theDormousefellasleepinstantly，andneitheroftheotherstooktheleastnoticeofhergoing，thoughshelookedbackonceortwice，halfhopingthattheywouldcallafterher：thelasttimeshesawthem，theyweretryingtoputtheDormouseintotheteapot。
　　`AtanyrateI’llnevergoTHEREagain!’saidAliceasshepickedherwaythroughthewood。`It’sthestupidesttea—partyI
　　everwasatinallmylife!’
　　Justasshesaidthis，shenoticedthatoneofthetreeshadadoorleadingrightintoit。`That’sverycurious!’shethought。
　　`Buteverything’scurioustoday。IthinkImayaswellgoinatonce。’
　　Andinshewent。
　　Oncemoreshefoundherselfinthelonghall，andclosetothelittleglasstable。`Now，I’llmanagebetterthistime，’
　　shesaidtoherself，andbeganbytakingthelittlegoldenkey，andunlockingthedoorthatledintothegarden。Thenshewenttoworknibblingatthemushroom（shehadkeptapieceofitinherpocket）tillshewasaboutafoothigh：thenshewalkeddownthelittlepassage：andTHEN——shefoundherselfatlastinthebeautifulgarden，amongthebrightflower—bedsandthecoolfountains。
　　CHAPTERVIII
　　TheQueen’sCroquet—GroundAlargerose—treestoodneartheentranceofthegarden：therosesgrowingonitwerewhite，buttherewerethreegardenersatit，busilypaintingthemred。Alicethoughtthisaverycuriousthing，andshewentnearertowatchthem，andjustasshecameuptothemsheheardoneofthemsay，`Lookoutnow，Five!Don’tgosplashingpaintovermelikethat!’
　　`Icouldn’thelpit，’saidFive，inasulkytone；`Sevenjoggedmyelbow。’
　　OnwhichSevenlookedupandsaid，`That’sright，Five!Alwayslaytheblameonothers!’
　　`YOU’Dbetternottalk!’saidFive。`IheardtheQueensayonlyyesterdayyoudeservedtobebeheaded!’
　　`Whatfor？’saidtheonewhohadspokenfirst。
　　`That’snoneofYOURbusiness，Two!’saidSeven。
　　`Yes，itIShisbusiness!’saidFive，`andI’lltellhim——itwasforbringingthecooktulip—rootsinsteadofonions。’
　　Sevenflungdownhisbrush，andhadjustbegun`Well，ofalltheunjustthings——’whenhiseyechancedtofalluponAlice，asshestoodwatchingthem，andhecheckedhimselfsuddenly：theotherslookedroundalso，andallofthembowedlow。
　　`Wouldyoutellme，’saidAlice，alittletimidly，`whyyouarepaintingthoseroses？’
　　FiveandSevensaidnothing，butlookedatTwo。Twobeganinalowvoice，`Whythefactis，yousee，Miss，thishereoughttohavebeenaREDrose—tree，andweputawhiteoneinbymistake；
　　andiftheQueenwastofinditout，weshouldallhaveourheadscutoff，youknow。Soyousee，Miss，we’redoingourbest，aforeshecomes，to——’AtthismomentFive，whohadbeenanxiouslylookingacrossthegarden，calledout`TheQueen!TheQueen!’
　　andthethreegardenersinstantlythrewthemselvesflatupontheirfaces。Therewasasoundofmanyfootsteps，andAlicelookedround，eagertoseetheQueen。
　　Firstcametensoldierscarryingclubs；thesewereallshapedlikethethreegardeners，oblongandflat，withtheirhandsandfeetatthecorners：nextthetencourtiers；thesewereornamentedalloverwithdiamonds，andwalkedtwoandtwo，asthesoldiersdid。Afterthesecametheroyalchildren；thereweretenofthem，andthelittledearscamejumpingmerrilyalonghandinhand，incouples：theywereallornamentedwithhearts。Nextcametheguests，mostlyKingsandQueens，andamongthemAlicerecognisedtheWhiteRabbit：itwastalkinginahurriednervousmanner，smilingateverythingthatwassaid，andwentbywithoutnoticingher。ThenfollowedtheKnaveofHearts，carryingtheKing’scrownonacrimsonvelvetcushion；and，lastofallthisgrandprocession，cameTHEKINGANDQUEENOFHEARTS。
　　Alicewasratherdoubtfulwhethersheoughtnottoliedownonherfacelikethethreegardeners，butshecouldnotremembereverhavingheardofsucharuleatprocessions；`andbesides，whatwouldbetheuseofaprocession，’thoughtshe，`ifpeoplehadalltoliedownupontheirfaces，sothattheycouldn’tseeit？’
　　Soshestoodstillwhereshewas，andwaited。
　　WhentheprocessioncameoppositetoAlice，theyallstoppedandlookedather，andtheQueensaidseverely`Whoisthis？’
　　ShesaidittotheKnaveofHearts，whoonlybowedandsmiledinreply。
　　`Idiot!’saidtheQueen，tossingherheadimpatiently；and，turningtoAlice，shewenton，`What’syourname，child？’
　　`MynameisAlice，sopleaseyourMajesty，’saidAliceverypolitely；butsheadded，toherself，`Why，they’reonlyapackofcards，afterall。Ineedn’tbeafraidofthem!’
　　`AndwhoareTHESE？’saidtheQueen，pointingtothethreegardenerswhowerelyingroundtherosetree；for，yousee，astheywerelyingontheirfaces，andthepatternontheirbackswasthesameastherestofthepack，shecouldnottellwhethertheyweregardeners，orsoldiers，orcourtiers，orthreeofherownchildren。
　　`HowshouldIknow？’saidAlice，surprisedatherowncourage。
　　`It’snobusinessofMINE。’
　　TheQueenturnedcrimsonwithfury，and，afterglaringatherforamomentlikeawildbeast，screamed`Offwithherhead!
　　Off——’
　　`Nonsense!’saidAlice，veryloudlyanddecidedly，andtheQueenwassilent。
　　TheKinglaidhishanduponherarm，andtimidlysaid`Consider，mydear：sheisonlyachild!’
　　TheQueenturnedangrilyawayfromhim，andsaidtotheKnave`Turnthemover!’
　　TheKnavedidso，verycarefully，withonefoot。
　　`Getup!’saidtheQueen，inashrill，loudvoice，andthethreegardenersinstantlyjumpedup，andbeganbowingtotheKing，theQueen，theroyalchildren，andeverybodyelse。
　　`Leaveoffthat!’screamedtheQueen。`Youmakemegiddy。’
　　Andthen，turningtotherose—tree，shewenton，`WhatHAVEyoubeendoinghere？’
　　`MayitpleaseyourMajesty，’saidTwo，inaveryhumbletone，goingdownononekneeashespoke，`weweretrying——’
　　`Isee!’saidtheQueen，whohadmeanwhilebeenexaminingtheroses。`Offwiththeirheads!’andtheprocessionmovedon，threeofthesoldiersremainingbehindtoexecutetheunfortunategardeners，whorantoAliceforprotection。
　　`Youshan’tbebeheaded!’saidAlice，andsheputthemintoalargeflower—potthatstoodnear。Thethreesoldierswanderedaboutforaminuteortwo，lookingforthem，andthenquietlymarchedoffaftertheothers。
　　`Aretheirheadsoff？’shoutedtheQueen。
　　`Theirheadsaregone，ifitpleaseyourMajesty!’thesoldiersshoutedinreply。
　　`That’sright!’shoutedtheQueen。`Canyouplaycroquet？’
　　Thesoldiersweresilent，andlookedatAlice，asthequestionwasevidentlymeantforher。
　　`Yes!’shoutedAlice。
　　`Comeon，then!’roaredtheQueen，andAlicejoinedtheprocession，wonderingverymuchwhatwouldhappennext。
　　`It’s——it’saveryfineday!’saidatimidvoiceatherside。
　　ShewaswalkingbytheWhiteRabbit，whowaspeepinganxiouslyintoherface。
　　`Very，’saidAlice：`——where’stheDuchess？’
　　`Hush!Hush!’saidtheRabbitinalow，hurriedtone。Helookedanxiouslyoverhisshoulderashespoke，andthenraisedhimselfupontiptoe，puthismouthclosetoherear，andwhispered`She’sundersentenceofexecution。’
　　`Whatfor？’saidAlice。
　　`Didyousay"Whatapity!"？’theRabbitasked。
　　`No，Ididn’t，’saidAlice：`Idon’tthinkit’satallapity。
　　Isaid"Whatfor？"’
　　`SheboxedtheQueen’sears——’theRabbitbegan。Alicegavealittlescreamoflaughter。`Oh，hush!’theRabbitwhisperedinafrightenedtone。`TheQueenwillhearyou!Yousee，shecameratherlate，andtheQueensaid——’
　　`Gettoyourplaces!’shoutedtheQueeninavoiceofthunder，andpeoplebeganrunningaboutinalldirections，tumblingupagainsteachother；however，theygotsettleddowninaminuteortwo，andthegamebegan。Alicethoughtshehadneverseensuchacuriouscroquet—groundinherlife；itwasallridgesandfurrows；theballswerelivehedgehogs，themalletsliveflamingoes，andthesoldiershadtodoublethemselvesupandtostandontheirhandsandfeet，tomakethearches。
　　ThechiefdifficultyAlicefoundatfirstwasinmanagingherflamingo：shesucceededingettingitsbodytuckedaway，comfortablyenough，underherarm，withitslegshangingdown，butgenerally，justasshehadgotitsnecknicelystraightenedout，andwasgoingtogivethehedgehogablowwithitshead，itWOULDtwistitselfroundandlookupinherface，withsuchapuzzledexpressionthatshecouldnothelpburstingoutlaughing：
　　andwhenshehadgotitsheaddown，andwasgoingtobeginagain，itwasveryprovokingtofindthatthehedgehoghadunrolleditself，andwasintheactofcrawlingaway：besidesallthis，therewasgenerallyaridgeorfurrowinthewaywherevershewantedtosendthehedgehogto，and，asthedoubled—upsoldierswerealwaysgettingupandwalkingofftootherpartsoftheground，Alicesooncametotheconclusionthatitwasaverydifficultgameindeed。
　　Theplayersallplayedatoncewithoutwaitingforturns，quarrellingallthewhile，andfightingforthehedgehogs；andinaveryshorttimetheQueenwasinafuriouspassion，andwentstampingabout，andshouting`Offwithhishead!’or`Offwithherhead!’aboutonceinaminute。
　　Alicebegantofeelveryuneasy：tobesure，shehadnotasyethadanydisputewiththeQueen，butsheknewthatitmighthappenanyminute，`andthen，’thoughtshe，`whatwouldbecomeofme？They’redreadfullyfondofbeheadingpeoplehere；thegreatwonderis，thatthere’sanyoneleftalive!’
　　Shewaslookingaboutforsomewayofescape，andwonderingwhethershecouldgetawaywithoutbeingseen，whenshenoticedacuriousappearanceintheair：itpuzzledherverymuchatfirst，but，afterwatchingitaminuteortwo，shemadeitouttobeagrin，andshesaidtoherself`It’stheCheshireCat：nowI
　　shallhavesomebodytotalkto。’
　　`Howareyougettingon？’saidtheCat，assoonastherewasmouthenoughforittospeakwith。
　　Alicewaitedtilltheeyesappeared，andthennodded。`It’snousespeakingtoit，’shethought，`tillitsearshavecome，oratleastoneofthem。’Inanotherminutethewholeheadappeared，andthenAliceputdownherflamingo，andbegananaccountofthegame，feelingverygladshehadsomeonetolistentoher。TheCatseemedtothinkthattherewasenoughofitnowinsight，andnomoreofitappeared。
　　`Idon’tthinktheyplayatallfairly，’Alicebegan，inratheracomplainingtone，`andtheyallquarrelsodreadfullyonecan’thearoneselfspeak——andtheydon’tseemtohaveanyrulesinparticular；atleast，ifthereare，nobodyattendstothem——andyou’venoideahowconfusingitisallthethingsbeingalive；
　　forinstance，there’sthearchI’vegottogothroughnextwalkingaboutattheotherendoftheground——andIshouldhavecroquetedtheQueen’shedgehogjustnow，onlyitranawaywhenitsawminecoming!’
　　`HowdoyouliketheQueen？’saidtheCatinalowvoice。
　　`Notatall，’saidAlice：`she’ssoextremely——’JustthenshenoticedthattheQueenwasclosebehindher，listening：soshewenton，`——likelytowin，thatit’shardlyworthwhilefinishingthegame。’
　　TheQueensmiledandpassedon。
　　`WhoAREyoutalkingto？’saidtheKing，goinguptoAlice，andlookingattheCat’sheadwithgreatcuriosity。
　　`It’safriendofmine——aCheshireCat，’saidAlice：`allowmetointroduceit。’
　　`Idon’tlikethelookofitatall，’saidtheKing：
　　`however，itmaykissmyhandifitlikes。’
　　`I’drathernot，’theCatremarked。
　　`Don’tbeimpertinent，’saidtheKing，`anddon’tlookatmelikethat!’HegotbehindAliceashespoke。
　　`Acatmaylookataking，’saidAlice。`I’vereadthatinsomebook，butIdon’trememberwhere。’
　　`Well，itmustberemoved，’saidtheKingverydecidedly，andhecalledtheQueen，whowaspassingatthemoment，`Mydear!I
　　wishyouwouldhavethiscatremoved!’
　　TheQueenhadonlyonewayofsettlingalldifficulties，greatorsmall。`Offwithhishead!’shesaid，withoutevenlookinground。
　　`I’llfetchtheexecutionermyself，’saidtheKingeagerly，andhehurriedoff。
　　Alicethoughtshemightaswellgoback，andseehowthegamewasgoingon，assheheardtheQueen’svoiceinthedistance，screamingwithpassion。Shehadalreadyheardhersentencethreeoftheplayerstobeexecutedforhavingmissedtheirturns，andshedidnotlikethelookofthingsatall，asthegamewasinsuchconfusionthatsheneverknewwhetheritwasherturnornot。Soshewentinsearchofherhedgehog。
　　Thehedgehogwasengagedinafightwithanotherhedgehog，whichseemedtoAliceanexcellentopportunityforcroquetingoneofthemwiththeother：theonlydifficultywas，thatherflamingowasgoneacrosstotheothersideofthegarden，whereAlicecouldseeittryinginahelplesssortofwaytoflyupintoatree。
　　Bythetimeshehadcaughttheflamingoandbroughtitback，thefightwasover，andboththehedgehogswereoutofsight：
　　`butitdoesn’tmattermuch，’thoughtAlice，`asallthearchesaregonefromthissideoftheground。’Soshetuckeditawayunderherarm，thatitmightnotescapeagain，andwentbackforalittlemoreconversationwithherfriend。
　　WhenshegotbacktotheCheshireCat，shewassurprisedtofindquitealargecrowdcollectedroundit：therewasadisputegoingonbetweentheexecutioner，theKing，andtheQueen，whowerealltalkingatonce，whilealltherestwerequitesilent，andlookedveryuncomfortable。
　　ThemomentAliceappeared，shewasappealedtobyallthreetosettlethequestion，andtheyrepeatedtheirargumentstoher，though，astheyallspokeatonce，shefounditveryhardindeedtomakeoutexactlywhattheysaid。
　　Theexecutioner’sargumentwas，thatyoucouldn’tcutoffaheadunlesstherewasabodytocutitofffrom：thathehadneverhadtodosuchathingbefore，andhewasn’tgoingtobeginatHIStimeoflife。
　　TheKing’sargumentwas，thatanythingthathadaheadcouldbebeheaded，andthatyouweren’ttotalknonsense。
　　TheQueen’sargumentwas，thatifsomethingwasn’tdoneaboutitinlessthannotimeshe’dhaveeverybodyexecuted，allround。
　　（Itwasthislastremarkthathadmadethewholepartylooksograveandanxious。）
　　Alicecouldthinkofnothingelsetosaybut`ItbelongstotheDuchess：you’dbetteraskHERaboutit。’
　　`She’sinprison，’theQueensaidtotheexecutioner：`fetchherhere。’Andtheexecutionerwentofflikeanarrow。
　　TheCat’sheadbeganfadingawaythemomenthewasgone，and，bythetimehehadcomebackwiththeDutchess，ithadentirelydisappeared；sotheKingandtheexecutionerranwildlyupanddownlookingforit，whiletherestofthepartywentbacktothegame。
　　CHAPTERIX
　　TheMockTurtle’sStory`Youcan’tthinkhowgladIamtoseeyouagain，youdearoldthing!’saidtheDuchess，asshetuckedherarmaffectionatelyintoAlice’s，andtheywalkedofftogether。
　　Alicewasverygladtofindherinsuchapleasanttemper，andthoughttoherselfthatperhapsitwasonlythepepperthathadmadehersosavagewhentheymetinthekitchen。
　　`WhenI’MaDuchess，’shesaidtoherself，（notinaveryhopefultonethough），`Iwon’thaveanypepperinmykitchenAT
　　ALL。Soupdoesverywellwithout——Maybeit’salwayspepperthatmakespeoplehot—tempered，’shewenton，verymuchpleasedathavingfoundoutanewkindofrule，`andvinegarthatmakesthemsour——andcamomilethatmakesthembitter——and——andbarley—sugarandsuchthingsthatmakechildrensweet—tempered。Ionlywishpeopleknewthat：thentheywouldn’tbesostingyaboutit，youknow——’
　　ShehadquiteforgottentheDuchessbythistime，andwasalittlestartledwhensheheardhervoiceclosetoherear。
　　`You’rethinkingaboutsomething，mydear，andthatmakesyouforgettotalk。Ican’ttellyoujustnowwhatthemoralofthatis，butIshallrememberitinabit。’
　　`Perhapsithasn’tone，’Aliceventuredtoremark。
　　`Tut，tut，child!’saidtheDuchess。`Everything’sgotamoral，ifonlyyoucanfindit。’AndshesqueezedherselfupclosertoAlice’ssideasshespoke。
　　Alicedidnotmuchlikekeepingsoclosetoher：first，becausetheDuchesswasVERYugly；andsecondly，becauseshewasexactlytherightheighttorestherchinuponAlice’sshoulder，anditwasanuncomfortablysharpchin。However，shedidnotliketoberude，sosheboreitaswellasshecould。
　　`Thegame’sgoingonratherbetternow，’shesaid，bywayofkeepinguptheconversationalittle。
　　`’Tisso，’saidtheDuchess：`andthemoralofthatis——"Oh，’tislove，’tislove，thatmakestheworldgoround!"’
　　`Somebodysaid，’Alicewhispered，`thatit’sdonebyeverybodymindingtheirownbusiness!’
　　`Ah，well!Itmeansmuchthesamething，’saidtheDuchess，digginghersharplittlechinintoAlice’sshoulderassheadded，`andthemoralofTHATis——"Takecareofthesense，andthesoundswilltakecareofthemselves。"’
　　`Howfondsheisoffindingmoralsinthings!’Alicethoughttoherself。
　　`Idaresayyou’rewonderingwhyIdon’tputmyarmroundyourwaist，’theDuchesssaidafterapause：`thereasonis，thatI’mdoubtfulaboutthetemperofyourflamingo。ShallItrytheexperiment？’
　　`HEmightbite，’Alicecautiouslyreplied，notfeelingatallanxioustohavetheexperimenttried。
　　`Verytrue，’saidtheDuchess：`flamingoesandmustardbothbite。Andthemoralofthatis——"Birdsofafeatherflocktogether。"’
　　`Onlymustardisn’tabird，’Aliceremarked。
　　`Right，asusual，’saidtheDuchess：`whataclearwayyouhaveofputtingthings!’
　　`It’samineral，ITHINK，’saidAlice。
　　`Ofcourseitis，’saidtheDuchess，whoseemedreadytoagreetoeverythingthatAlicesaid；`there’salargemustard—minenearhere。Andthemoralofthatis——"Themorethereisofmine，thelessthereisofyours。"’
　　`Oh，Iknow!’exclaimedAlice，whohadnotattendedtothislastremark，`it’savegetable。Itdoesn’tlooklikeone，butitis。’
　　`Iquiteagreewithyou，’saidtheDuchess；`andthemoralofthatis——"Bewhatyouwouldseemtobe"——orifyou’dlikeitputmoresimply——"Neverimagineyourselfnottobeotherwisethanwhatitmightappeartoothersthatwhatyouwereormighthavebeenwasnototherwisethanwhatyouhadbeenwouldhaveappearedtothemtobeotherwise。"’
　　`IthinkIshouldunderstandthatbetter，’Alicesaidverypolitely，`ifIhaditwrittendown：butIcan’tquitefollowitasyousayit。’
　　`That’snothingtowhatIcouldsayifIchose，’theDuchessreplied，inapleasedtone。
　　`Praydon’ttroubleyourselftosayitanylongerthanthat，’
　　saidAlice。
　　`Oh，don’ttalkabouttrouble!’saidtheDuchess。`ImakeyouapresentofeverythingI’vesaidasyet。’
　　`Acheapsortofpresent!’thoughtAlice。`I’mgladtheydon’tgivebirthdaypresentslikethat!’Butshedidnotventuretosayitoutloud。
　　`Thinkingagain？’theDuchessasked，withanotherdigofhersharplittlechin。
　　`I’vearighttothink，’saidAlicesharply，forshewasbeginningtofeelalittleworried。
　　`Justaboutasmuchright，’saidtheDuchess，`aspigshavetofly；
　　andthem——’
　　Buthere，toAlice’sgreatsurprise，theDuchess’svoicediedaway，eveninthemiddleofherfavouriteword`moral，’andthearmthatwaslinkedintohersbegantotremble。Alicelookedup，andtherestoodtheQueeninfrontofthem，withherarmsfolded，frowninglikeathunderstorm。
　　`Afineday，yourMajesty!’theDuchessbeganinalow，weakvoice。
　　`Now，Igiveyoufairwarning，’shoutedtheQueen，stampingonthegroundasshespoke；`eitheryouoryourheadmustbeoff，andthatinabouthalfnotime!Takeyourchoice!’
　　TheDuchesstookherchoice，andwasgoneinamoment。
　　`Let’sgoonwiththegame，’theQueensaidtoAlice；andAlicewastoomuchfrightenedtosayaword，butslowlyfollowedherbacktothecroquet—ground。
　　TheotherguestshadtakenadvantageoftheQueen’sabsence，andwererestingintheshade：however，themomenttheysawher，theyhurriedbacktothegame，theQueenmerelyremarkingthatamoment’sdelaywouldcostthemtheirlives。
　　AllthetimetheywereplayingtheQueenneverleftoffquarrellingwiththeotherplayers，andshouting`Offwithhishead!’or`Offwithherhead!’Thosewhomshesentencedweretakenintocustodybythesoldiers，whoofcoursehadtoleaveoffbeingarchestodothis，sothatbytheendofhalfanhourorsotherewerenoarchesleft，andalltheplayers，excepttheKing，theQueen，andAlice，wereincustodyandundersentenceofexecution。
　　ThentheQueenleftoff，quiteoutofbreath，andsaidtoAlice，`HaveyouseentheMockTurtleyet？’
　　`No，’saidAlice。`Idon’tevenknowwhataMockTurtleis。’
　　`It’sthethingMockTurtleSoupismadefrom，’saidtheQueen。
　　`Ineversawone，orheardofone，’saidAlice。
　　`Comeon，then，’saidtheQueen，`andheshalltellyouhishistory，’
　　Astheywalkedofftogether，AliceheardtheKingsayinalowvoice，tothecompanygenerally，`Youareallpardoned。’`Come，THAT’Sagoodthing!’shesaidtoherself，forshehadfeltquiteunhappyatthenumberofexecutionstheQueenhadordered。
　　TheyverysooncameuponaGryphon，lyingfastasleepinthesun。（IFyoudon’tknowwhataGryphonis，lookatthepicture。）
　　`Up，lazything!’saidtheQueen，`andtakethisyoungladytoseetheMockTurtle，andtohearhishistory。ImustgobackandseeaftersomeexecutionsIhaveordered’；andshewalkedoff，leavingAlicealonewiththeGryphon。Alicedidnotquitelikethelookofthecreature，butonthewholeshethoughtitwouldbequiteassafetostaywithitastogoafterthatsavageQueen：soshewaited。
　　TheGryphonsatupandrubbeditseyes：thenitwatchedtheQueentillshewasoutofsight：thenitchuckled。`Whatfun!’
　　saidtheGryphon，halftoitself，halftoAlice。
　　`WhatISthefun？’saidAlice。
　　`Why，SHE，’saidtheGryphon。`It’sallherfancy，that：theyneverexecutesnobody，youknow。Comeon!’
　　`Everybodysays"comeon!"here，’thoughtAlice，asshewentslowlyafterit：`Ineverwassoorderedaboutinallmylife，never!’
　　TheyhadnotgonefarbeforetheysawtheMockTurtleinthedistance，sittingsadandlonelyonalittleledgeofrock，and，astheycamenearer，Alicecouldhearhimsighingasifhisheartwouldbreak。Shepitiedhimdeeply。`Whatishissorrow？’sheaskedtheGryphon，andtheGryphonanswered，verynearlyinthesamewordsasbefore，`It’sallhisfancy，that：hehasn’tgotnosorrow，youknow。Comeon!’
　　SotheywentuptotheMockTurtle，wholookedatthemwithlargeeyesfulloftears，butsaidnothing。
　　`Thishereyounglady，’saidtheGryphon，`shewantsfortoknowyourhistory，shedo。’
　　`I’lltellither，’saidtheMockTurtleinadeep，hollowtone：`sitdown，bothofyou，anddon’tspeakawordtillI’vefinished。’
　　Sotheysatdown，andnobodyspokeforsomeminutes。Alicethoughttoherself，`Idon’tseehowhecanEVENfinish，ifhedoesn’tbegin。’Butshewaitedpatiently。
　　`Once，’saidtheMockTurtleatlast，withadeepsigh，`IwasarealTurtle。’
　　Thesewordswerefollowedbyaverylongsilence，brokenonlybyanoccasionalexclamationof`Hjckrrh!’fromtheGryphon，andtheconstantheavysobbingoftheMockTurtle。Alicewasverynearlygettingupandsaying，`Thankyou，sir，foryourinterestingstory，’butshecouldnothelpthinkingthereMUSTbemoretocome，soshesatstillandsaidnothing。
　　`Whenwewerelittle，’theMockTurtlewentonatlast，morecalmly，thoughstillsobbingalittlenowandthen，`wewenttoschoolinthesea。ThemasterwasanoldTurtle——weusedtocallhimTortoise——’
　　`WhydidyoucallhimTortoise，ifhewasn’tone？’Aliceasked。
　　`WecalledhimTortoisebecausehetaughtus，’saidtheMockTurtleangrily：`reallyyouareverydull!’
　　`Yououghttobeashamedofyourselfforaskingsuchasimplequestion，’addedtheGryphon；andthentheybothsatsilentandlookedatpoorAlice，whofeltreadytosinkintotheearth。AtlasttheGryphonsaidtotheMockTurtle，`Driveon，oldfellow!
　　Don’tbealldayaboutit!’andhewentoninthesewords：
　　`Yes，wewenttoschoolinthesea，thoughyoumayn’tbelieveit——’
　　`IneversaidIdidn’t!’interruptedAlice。
　　`Youdid，’saidtheMockTurtle。
　　`Holdyourtongue!’addedtheGryphon，beforeAlicecouldspeakagain。TheMockTurtlewenton。
　　`Wehadthebestofeducations——infact，wewenttoschooleveryday——’
　　`I’VEbeentoaday—school，too，’saidAlice；`youneedn’tbesoproudasallthat。’
　　`Withextras？’askedtheMockTurtlealittleanxiously。
　　`Yes，’saidAlice，`welearnedFrenchandmusic。’
　　`Andwashing？’saidtheMockTurtle。