SIR,——IwasatColo。PeterRandolph’saboutaFortnightago,&mySchoolingfallingintoDiscourse,hesaidhethoughtitwouldbetomyAdvantagetogototheCollege,&wasdesirousIshouldgo,asindeedIammyselfforseveralReasons。InthefirstplaceaslongasIstayattheMountainstheLossofonefourthofmyTimeisinevitable,byCompany’scominghere&detainingmefromSchool。AndlikewisemyAbsencewillinagreatMeasureputaStoptosomuchCompany,&bythatMeanslessentheExpencesoftheEstateinHouse-Keeping。AndontheotherHandbygoingtotheCollegeIshallgetamoreuniversalAcquaintance,whichmayhereafterbeserviceabletome;&IsupposeIcanpursuemyStudiesintheGreek&Latinaswellthereashere,&likewiselearnsomethingoftheMathematics。I
shallbegladofyouropinion。
OLDCOKEANDYOUNGLADIES
_ToJohnPage_
_Fairfield,December25,1762_
DEARPAGE,——Thisveryday,toothersthedayofgreatestmirthandjollity,seesmeoverwhelmedwithmoreandgreatermisfortunesthanhavebefallenadescendantofAdamforthesethousandyearspast,Iamsure;andperhaps,afterexceptingJob,sincethecreationoftheworld。Ithinkhismisfortunesweresomewhatgreaterthanmine:foralthoughwemaybeprettynearlyonalevelinotherrespects,yet,IthankmyGod,IhavetheadvantageofbrotherJobinthis,thatSatanhasnotasyetputforthhishandtoloadmewithbodilyafflictions。Youmustknow,dearPage,thatIamnowinahousesurroundedwithenemies,whotakecounseltogetheragainstmysoul;andwhenIlaymedowntorest,theysayamongthemselves,comeletusdestroyhim。IamsureifthereissuchathingasaDevilinthisworld,hemusthavebeenherelastnightandhavehadsomehandincontrivingwhathappenedtome。Doyouthinkthecursedratsathisinstigation,Isupposedidnoteatupmypocket-book,whichwasinmypocket,withinafootofmyhead?Andnotcontentedwithplentyforthepresent,theycarriedawaymyjemmy-workedsilkgarters,andhalfadozennewminuetsIhadjustgot,toserve,Isuppose,asprovisionforthewinter。ButofthisI
shouldnothaveaccusedtheDevil,because,youknowratswillberats,andhunger,withouttheadditionofhisinstigations,mighthaveurgedthemtodothis,ifsomethingworse,andfromadifferentquarter,hadnothappened。Youknowitrainedlastnight,orifyoudonotknowit,IamsureIdo。WhenIwenttobed,Ilaidmywatchintheusualplace,andgoingtotakeherupafterIarosethismorning,Ifoundherinthesameplace,it’strue!but_Quantummutatusabillo!_allafloatinwater,letinataleakintheroofofthehouse,andassilentandstillastheratsthathadeatmypocket-book。Now,youknow,ifchancehadhadanythingtodointhismatter,therewereathousandotherspotswhereitmighthavechancedtoleakaswellasatthisone,whichwasperpendicularlyovermywatch。ButI’lltellyou;it’smyopinionthattheDevilcameandboredtheholeoveritonpurpose。Well,asIwassaying,mypoorwatchhadlostherspeech。Ishouldnothavecaredmuchforthis,butsomethingworseattendedit;thesubtleparticlesofthewaterwithwhichthecasewasfilled,had,bytheirpenetration,soovercomethecohesionoftheparticlesofthepaper,ofwhichmydearpictureandwatch-paperwerecomposed,that,inattemptingtotakethemouttodrythem,goodGod!_Menshorretreferre!_Mycursedfingersgavethemsucharent,asIfearInevershallgetover。
This,criedI,wasthelaststrokeSatanhadinreserveforme:heknewIcarednotforanythingelsehecoulddotome,andwasdeterminedtotrythislastmostfatalexpedient。_”Multisfortunaevulneribuspercussus,huicunimeimparemsensi,etpenitussuccubui!”_Iwouldhavecriedbitterly,butIthoughtitbeneaththedignityofaman,andamantoowhohadread{tononton,tamenephemin,tadokephemin}。However,whatevermisfortunesmayattendthepictureorlover,myheartyprayersshallbe,thatallthehealthandhappinesswhichHeavencansendmaybetheportionoftheoriginal,andthatsomuchgoodnessmayevermeetwithwhatmaybemostagreeableinthisworld,asIamsureitmustbeinthenext。
Andnow,althoughthepicturebedefaced,thereissolivelyanimageofherimprintedinmymind,thatIshallthinkofhertoooften,I
fear,formypeaceofmind;andtoooften,Iamsure,togetthrougholdCokethiswinter;forGodknowsIhavenotseenhimsinceI
packedhimupinmytrunkinWilliamsburg。Well,Page,IdowishtheDevilhadoldCoke,forIamsureIneverwassotiredofanolddullscoundrelinmylife。What!aretheresofewinquietudestackedtothismomentarylifeofour’s,thatwemustneedbeloadingourselveswithathousandmore?Or,asbrotherJobsays,who,bythebye,I
thinkbegantowhinealittleunderhisafflictions,”Arenotmydaysfew?Ceasethen,thatImaytakecomfortalittlebeforeIgowhenceIshallnotreturn,eventothelandofdarkness,andtheshadowofdeath。”Buttheoldfellowssaywemustreadtogainknowledge,andgainknowledgetomakeushappyandadmired。_Merejargon!_Isthereanysuchthingashappinessinthisworld?No。
Andasforadmiration,Iamsurethemanwhopowdersmost,perfumesmost,embroidersmost,andtalksmostnonsense,ismostadmired。
Thoughtobecandid,therearesomewhohavetoomuchgoodsensetoesteemsuchmonkey-likeanimalsasthese,inwhoseformation,asthesayingis,thetailorsandbarbersgohalveswithGodAlmighty;andsincethesearetheonlypersonswhoseesteemisworthawish,Idonotknowbutthat,uponthewhole,theadviceoftheseoldfellowsmaybeworthfollowing。
Youcannotconceivethesatisfactionitwouldgivemetohavealetterfromyou。Writemeverycircumstantiallyeverythingwhichhappenedatthewedding。Wasshethere?because,ifshewas,IoughttohavebeenattheDevilfornotbeingtheretoo。Ifthereisanynewsstirringintownorcountry,suchasdeaths,courtships,ormarriages,inthecircleofmyacquaintance,letmeknowit。
Remembermeaffectionatelytoalltheyoungladiesofmyacquaintance,particularlytheMissBurwells,andMissPotters,andtellthemthatthoughthatheavyearthlypartofme,mybody,beabsent,thebetterhalfofme,mysoul,iseverwiththem;andthatmybestwishesshalleverattendthem。TellMissAliceCorbinthatI
verilybelievetheratsknewIwastowinapairofgartersfromher,ortheyneverwouldhavebeensocruelastocarrymineaway。Thisveryconsiderationmakesmesosureofthebet,thatIshallaskeverybodyIseefromthatpartoftheworldwhatprettygentlemanismakinghisaddressestoher。IwouldfainaskthefavourofMissBeccaBurwelltogivemeanotherwatch-paperofherowncutting,whichIshouldesteemmuchmore,thoughitwereaplainroundone,thanthenicestintheworldcutbyotherhands——however,Iamafraidshewouldthinkthispresumption,aftermysufferingtheothertogetspoiled。Ifyouthinkyoucanexcusemetoherforthis,I
shouldbegladifyouwouldaskher。TellMissSukeyPotterthatI
heard,justbeforeIcameoutoftown,thatshewasoffendedwithmeaboutsomething,whatitisIdonotknow;butthisIknow,thatI
neverwasguiltyoftheleastdisrespecttoherinmylife,eitherinwordordeed;asfarfromitasithasbeenpossibleforonetobe。
Isupposewhenwemeetnext,shewillbe_endeavouring_torepayanimaginaryaffrontwitharealone:butshemaysaveherselfthetrouble,fornothingthatshecansayordotomeshalleverlessenherinmyesteem,andIamdeterminedalwaystolookuponherasthesamehonest-hearted,good-humored,agreeableladyIeverdid。Tell——tell——inshort,tellthemalltenthousandthingsmorethaneitheryouorIcannoworevershallthinkofaslongaswelive。
Mymindhasbeensotakenupwiththinkingofmyacquaintances,that,tillthismoment,IalmostimaginedmyselfinWilliamsburg,talkingtoyouinouroldunreservedway;andneverobserved,tillI
turnedovertheleaf,towhatanimmoderatesizeIhadswelledmyletter——however,thatImaynottireyourpatiencebyfurtheradditions,Iwillmakebutthisonemore,thatIamsincerelyandaffectionately,DearPage,yourfriendandservant。
P。S。Iamnowwithinaneasyday’srideofShadwell,whitherI
shallproceedintwoorthreedays。
AVISITTOANNAPOLIS
_ToJohnPage_
_Annapolis,May25,1766_
DEARPAGE——IreceivedyourlastbyT。NelsonwhomIluckilymetonmyroadhither。surelyneverdidsmallheroexperiencegreatermisadventuresthanIdidonthefirsttwoorthreedaysofmytravelling。twicedidmyhorserunawaywithmeandgreatlyendangerthebreakingmyneckonthefirstday。onthesecondIdrovetwohoursthroughascopiousarainaseverIhaveseen,withoutmeetingwithasinglehousetowhichIcouldrepairforshelter。onthethirdingoingthroughPamunkey,beingunacquaintedwiththeford,IpassedthroughwatersodeepastorunoverthecushionasIsatonit,andtoaddtothedanger,atthatinstantonewheelmountedarockwhichIamconfidentwasashighastheaxle,andrendereditnecessaryformetoexerciseallmyskillinthedoctrineofgravity,inordertopreventthecenterofgravityfrombeingleftunsupportedtheconsequenceofwhichwouldaccordingtoBob。Carter’sopinionhavebeenthecorruitionofmyself,chairandallintothewater。whetherthatwouldhavebeenthecaseornot,letthelearneddetermine:itwasnotconvenientformetotrytheexperimentatthattime,andI
thereforethrewmywholeweightonthemountedwheelandescapedthedanger。IconfessthatonthisoccasionIwasseisedwithaviolenthydrophobia。IhadthepleasureofpassingtwoorthreedaysonmywayhitheratthetwoWill。Fitzhugh’sandCol’o。Harrison’swherewereS。Potter,P。Stith,andBenHarrison,sincewhichtimeIhaveseennofaceknowntomebefore,exceptCap’t。Mitchell’swhoishere——butIwillnowgiveyousomeaccountofwhatIhaveseeninthismetropolis。theassemblyhappenstobesittingatthistime。
theirupperandlowerhouse,astheycallthem,sitindifferenthouses。Iwentintothelower,sittinginanoldcourthouse,which,judgingfromit’sformandappearance,wasbuiltintheyearone。I
wassurprisedonapproachingittohearasgreatanoiseandhubbubasyouwillusuallyobserveatapublickmeetingoftheplantersinVirginia。thefirstobjectwhichstruckmeaftermyentrancewasthefigureofalittleoldmandressedbutindifferently,withayellowqueuewigon,andmountedinthejudge’schair。thisthegentlemanwhowalkedwithmeinformedmewasthespeaker,amanofaveryfaircharacter,butwhobythebye,hasverylittletheairofaspeaker。
atoneendofthejustices’benchstoodamanwhominanotherplaceI
shouldfromhisdressandphishavetakenforGoodallthelawyerinWilliamsburgh,readingabillthenbeforethehousewithaschoolboytoneandanabruptpauseateveryhalfdozenwords。thisIfoundtobetheclerkoftheassembly。themobforsuchwastheirappearance
satcoveredonthejustices’andlawyers’benches,andweredividedintolittleclubsamusingthemselvesinthecommonchitchatway。I
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