-Monsieur,doyouwanttoseethoseletters?”askedthegirl,withagulp。Evidentlyhisappearancefrightenedher-orhadheractingreachedthispointofextremefinish?”Ihadnevairethechancetoputthemback。And-andtheybelongtomonsieur。Theyarehis-allhis-andsobeautiful!Ah,justlikepoetry。””Idon’tconsiderthemmine。Ihaven’taparticleofconfidenceinyouorinyourstory。Youareathief-self-convicted;oryou’reanagentofthepolicewhosemotivesIneitherunderstandnorcaretoinvestigate。Takeupyourbagandgo。Ihaven’tacent’sworthofinterestinitscontents。”
Shestartedtoherfeet。Sweetwaterheardherchairgrateonthepaintedfloor,asshepusheditbackinrising。Thebrotherrosetoo,butmorecalmly。Brothersondidnotstir。Sweetwaterfelthishopesrapidlydyingdown-downintoashes,whensuddenlyhervoicebrokeforthinpants:”AndMariesaid-everybodysaid-thatyoulovedourgreatlady;
thatyou,ofthepeople,common,common,workingwiththehands,livingwithmenandwomenworkingwiththehands,thatyouhadsoul,sentiment-whatyouwillofthegoodandthegreat,andthatyouwouldgiveyoureyesforherwords,sifines,sispirituelles,solikedesversdepoete。False!false!allfalse!Shewasanangel。Youare-readthat!”shevehementlybrokein,openingherbagandwhiskingapaperdownbeforehim。”Readandunderstandmyproudandlovelylady。Shedidrighttodie。Youarehard-hard。Youwouldhavekilledherifshehadnot-””Silence,woman!Iwillreadnothing!”camehissingfromthestrongman’steeth,setinalmostungovernableanger。”Takebackthisletter,asyoucallit,andleavemyroom。””Nevaire!Youwillnotread?Butyoushall,youshall。Beholdanother!One,two,three,four!”Madlytheyflewfromherhand。
Madlyshecontinuedhervituperativeattack。”Beast!beast!Thatsheshouldpouroutherinnocenthearttoyou,you!Idonotwantyourmoney,Monsieurofthecommonstreet,ofthecommonhouse。Itwouldbedirt。Pierre,itwouldbedirt。Ah,bah!jem’oublietoutafait。Pierre,ilestbete。Ilrefusedelestoucher。Maisilfautqu’illestouche,sijeleslaissesurleplancher。Va-t’en!
Jememoquedelui。Canaille!L’hommedupeuple,toutafaitdupeuple!”
Aloudslam-theskurryingoffeetthroughthehall,accompaniedbytheslowerandheaviertreadoftheso-calledbrother,thensilence,andsuchsilencethatSweetwaterfanciedhecouldcatchthesoundofBrotherson’sheavybreathing。Hisownwassilencedtoagasp。Whatatreasureofagirl!Hownaturalherindignation!
Whataninstinctsheshowedandwhatcomprehension!Thishighandmightyhandlingofamostdifficultsituationandamostdifficultman,hadimposedonBrotherson,hadalmostimposeduponhimself。
Thoseletterssobeautiful,sospirituelle!Yet,theoddswerethatshehadneverreadthem,muchlessabstractedthem。Theminx!theready,resourceful,wily,daringminx!
ButhadsheimposedonBrotherson?Asthesilencecontinued,Sweetwaterbegantodoubt。Heunderstoodquitewelltheimportanceofhisneighbour’sfirstmovement。Werehetotearthoselettersintoshreds!Hemightbethustempted。Alldependedonthestrengthofhispresentmoodandtherealnatureofthesecretwhichlayburiedinhisheart。
Wasthatheartasflintyasitseemed?Wastherenoplacefordoubtorevenforcuriosity,initsimpenetrabledepths?Seemingly,hehadnotmovedfootorhandsincehisunwelcomevisitorshadleft。
Hewasdoubtlessstillstaringatthescatteredsheetslyingbeforehim;possiblybattlingwithunaccustomedimpulses;possiblyweighingdeedsandconsequencesinthoseslowmovingscalesofhisinwhichnomancouldcastaweightwithanycertaintyhowfaritsevenbalancewouldbedisturbed。
Therewasasoundasofsettlingcoal。Onlyatnightwouldoneexpecttohearsoslightasoundasthatinatenementfullofnoisychildren。Butthemomentchancedtobepropitious,anditnotonlyattractedtheattentionofSweetwateronhissideofthewall,butitstrucktheearofBrothersonalso。Withanejaculationasbitterasitwasimpatient,herousedhimselfandgathereduptheletters。
Sweetwatercouldhearthesuccessiverustlingsashebundledthemupinhishand。Thencameanothersilence-thentheliftingofastovelid。
Sweetwaterhadnotbeenwronginhissecretapprehension。Hisidentificationwithhisunimpressionableneighbour’smoodhadshownhimwhattoexpect。Theseletters-theseinnocentandpreciousoutpouringsofarareandwomanlysoul-theonlyconceivableopensesametothehard-lockednaturehefoundhimselfpittedagainst,wouldsoonberesolvedintoavanishingpuffofsmoke。
Butthelidwasthrustback,andthelettersremainedinhand。
Mortalstrengthhasitslimits。EvenBrothersoncouldnotshutdownthatlidonwordswhichmighthavebeenmeantforhim,harshlyashehadrepelledtheidea。
Thepausewhichfollowedtoldlittle;butwhenSweetwaterheardthemanwithinmovewithcharacteristicenergytothedoor,turnthekeyandstepbackagaintohisplaceatthetable,heknewthatthedangermomenthadpassedandthatthoseletterswereabouttoberead,notcasually,butseriously,asindeedtheircontentsmerited。
ThiscausedSweetwatertofeelserioushimself。Uponwhatresultmighthecalculate?Whatwouldhappentothishardysoul,whenthefacthesoscornfullyrepudiated,wasborneinuponhim,andhesawthatthedisdainwhichhadantagonisedhimwasameredevice-acloaktohidethesecretheartofloveandeagerwomanlydevotion?
Herdeath-littleasBrothersonwouldbelieveituptillnow-hadbeenhispersonallossthegreatestwhichcanbefallaman。Whenhecametoseethis-whenthemodestfervourofherunusualnaturebegantodawnuponhimintheseself-revelations,wouldtheresultberemorse,orjustthedeadeningandfinalextinctionofwhatevertendernesshemayhaveretainedforhermemory?
Impossibletotell。Thebalanceofprobabilityhungeven。
Sweetwaterrecognisedthis,andclung,breathless,tohisloop-hole。
Fainwouldhehaveseen,aswellasheard。
Mr。Brothersonreadthefirstletter,standing。Asitsoonbecamepublicproperty,Iwillgiveithere,justasitafterwardsappearedinthecolumnsofthegreedyjournals:”Beloved:”WhenIsit,asIoftendo,inperfectquietunderthestars,anddreamthatyouarelookingatthemtoo,notforhoursasI
do,butforonefullmomentinwhichyourthoughtsarewithmeaswhollyasminearewithyou,Ifeelthatthebondbetweenus,unseenbytheworld,andpossiblynotwhollyrecognisedbyourselves,isinstinctwiththesamepowerwhichlinkstogethertheeternities。”Itseemstohavealwaysbeen;tohaveknownnobeginning,onlyabudding,anefflorescence,thevisibleproductofahiddenbutalwayspresentreality。AmonthagoandIwasignorant,even,ofyourname。Now,youseemthebestknowntome,thebestunderstood,ofGod’screatures。Oneafternoonofperfectcompanionship-oneflashofstrongemotion,withitsdeep,trueinsightintoeachother’ssoul,andthemiraclewaswrought。Wehadmet,andhenceforth,partingwouldmeanseparationonly,andnottheseveringofamutualbond。Onehand,andoneonly,coulddothatnow。Iwillnotnamethathand。Forusthereisnoughtaheadbutlife。”ThusdoIeasemyheartinthesilencewhichconditionsimposeuponus。SomedayIshallhearyourvoiceagain,andthen-”
Thepaperdroppedfromthereader’shand。Itwasseveralminutesbeforehetookupanother。
Thisone,asithappened,antedatedtheother,aswillappearonreadingit:”Myfriend:”IsaidthatIcouldnotwritetoyou-thatwemustwait。Youwerewilling;butthereismuchtobeaccomplished,andthesilencemaybelong。Myfatherisnotaneasymantoplease,buthedesiresmyhappinessandwilllistentomypleawhentherighthourcomes。Whenyouhavewonyourplace-whenyouhaveshownyourselftobethemanIfeelyoutobe,thenmyfatherwillrecogniseyourworth,andthewaywillbecleared,despitetheobstacleswhichnowintervene。”Butmeantime!Ah,youwillnotknowit,butwordswillrise-theheartmustfindutterance。Whatthelipcannotutter,northelooksreveal,thesepagesshallholdinsacredtrustforyoutillthedaywhenmyfatherwillplacemyhandinyours,withheart-feltapproval。”Isitafolly?Awoman’sweakevasionofthestrongsilenceofman?Youmaysaysosomeday;butsomehow,Idoubtit-Idoubtit。”
Thecreakingofachair;-themanwithinhadseatedhimself。Therewasnoothersound;asoulinturmoilwakensnoechoes。Sweetwaterenviedthewallssurroundingtheunsympatheticreader。Theycouldsee。Hecouldonlylisten。
Alittlewhile;thenthatslightrustlingagainoftheunfoldingsheet。Thefollowingwasread,andthenthefourthandlast:”Dearest:”DidyouthinkIhadneverseenyoutillthatdaywemetinLenox?
Iamgoingtotellyouasecret-agreat,greatsecret-suchaoneasawomanhardlywhisperstoherownheart。”Oneday,inearlysummer,IwassittinginSt。Bartholomew’sChurchonFifthAvenue,waitingfortheservicestobegin。Itwasearlyandthecongregationwasassembling。Whileidlywatchingthepeoplecomingin,Isawagentlemanpassbymeuptheaisle,whomademeforgetalltheothers。HehadnottheairofaNewYorker;hewasnotevendressedincitystyle,butasInotedhisfaceandexpression,Isaidwaydowninmyheart,’ThatisthekindofmanIcouldlove;theonlymanIhaveeverseenwhocouldmakemeforgetmyownworldandmyownpeople。’
Itwasapassingthought,soon~forgotten。ButwheninthathourofembarrassmentandperilonGreylockMountain,Ilookedupintothefaceofmyrescuerandsawagainthatcountenancewhichsoshortatimebeforehadcalledintolifeimpulsestillthenutterlyunknown,Iknewthatmyhourwascome。Andthatwaswhymyconfidencewassospontaneousandmybeliefinthefuturesoabsolute。”Itrustyourlovewhichwillworkwonders;andItrustmyown,whichsprangatalookbutonlygatheredstrengthandpermanencewhenIfoundthatthesoulofthemanIlovedbetteredhisoutwardattractions,makingtheidealofmyfoolishgirlhoodseemasunsubstantialandevanescentasadreamintheglowingnoontide。””MyOwn:”Icansaysonow;foryouhavewrittentome,andIhavethedancingwordswithwhichtosilenceanyunsoughtdoubtwhichmightsubduetheexuberanceofthesesecretoutpourings。”Ididnotexpectthis。Ithoughtthatyouwouldremainassilentasmyself。Butmen’swaysarenotourways。Theycannotexhaustlonginginpurposelesswordsonscrapsofsoullesspaper,andIamgladthattheycannot。Iloveyouforyourimpatience;foryourpurpose,andforthemanlinesswhichwillwinforyouyetallthatyoucovetoffame,accomplishmentandlove。Youexpectnoreply,buttherearewaysinwhichonecankeepsilentandyetspeak。
Won’tyoubesurprisedwhenyouranswercomesinamanneryouhaveneverthoughtof?”
第26章