首页 >出版文学> Initials Only>第26章

第26章

  -Monsieur,doyouwanttoseethoseletters?”askedthegirl,withagulp。Evidentlyhisappearancefrightenedher-orhadheractingreachedthispointofextremefinish?”Ihadnevairethechancetoputthemback。And-andtheybelongtomonsieur。Theyarehis-allhis-andsobeautiful!Ah,justlikepoetry。””Idon’tconsiderthemmine。Ihaven’taparticleofconfidenceinyouorinyourstory。Youareathief-self-convicted;oryou’reanagentofthepolicewhosemotivesIneitherunderstandnorcaretoinvestigate。Takeupyourbagandgo。Ihaven’tacent’sworthofinterestinitscontents。”
  Shestartedtoherfeet。Sweetwaterheardherchairgrateonthepaintedfloor,asshepusheditbackinrising。Thebrotherrosetoo,butmorecalmly。Brothersondidnotstir。Sweetwaterfelthishopesrapidlydyingdown-downintoashes,whensuddenlyhervoicebrokeforthinpants:”AndMariesaid-everybodysaid-thatyoulovedourgreatlady;
  thatyou,ofthepeople,common,common,workingwiththehands,livingwithmenandwomenworkingwiththehands,thatyouhadsoul,sentiment-whatyouwillofthegoodandthegreat,andthatyouwouldgiveyoureyesforherwords,sifines,sispirituelles,solikedesversdepoete。False!false!allfalse!Shewasanangel。Youare-readthat!”shevehementlybrokein,openingherbagandwhiskingapaperdownbeforehim。”Readandunderstandmyproudandlovelylady。Shedidrighttodie。Youarehard-hard。Youwouldhavekilledherifshehadnot-””Silence,woman!Iwillreadnothing!”camehissingfromthestrongman’steeth,setinalmostungovernableanger。”Takebackthisletter,asyoucallit,andleavemyroom。””Nevaire!Youwillnotread?Butyoushall,youshall。Beholdanother!One,two,three,four!”Madlytheyflewfromherhand。
  Madlyshecontinuedhervituperativeattack。”Beast!beast!Thatsheshouldpouroutherinnocenthearttoyou,you!Idonotwantyourmoney,Monsieurofthecommonstreet,ofthecommonhouse。Itwouldbedirt。Pierre,itwouldbedirt。Ah,bah!jem’oublietoutafait。Pierre,ilestbete。Ilrefusedelestoucher。Maisilfautqu’illestouche,sijeleslaissesurleplancher。Va-t’en!
  Jememoquedelui。Canaille!L’hommedupeuple,toutafaitdupeuple!”
  Aloudslam-theskurryingoffeetthroughthehall,accompaniedbytheslowerandheaviertreadoftheso-calledbrother,thensilence,andsuchsilencethatSweetwaterfanciedhecouldcatchthesoundofBrotherson’sheavybreathing。Hisownwassilencedtoagasp。Whatatreasureofagirl!Hownaturalherindignation!
  Whataninstinctsheshowedandwhatcomprehension!Thishighandmightyhandlingofamostdifficultsituationandamostdifficultman,hadimposedonBrotherson,hadalmostimposeduponhimself。
  Thoseletterssobeautiful,sospirituelle!Yet,theoddswerethatshehadneverreadthem,muchlessabstractedthem。Theminx!theready,resourceful,wily,daringminx!
  ButhadsheimposedonBrotherson?Asthesilencecontinued,Sweetwaterbegantodoubt。Heunderstoodquitewelltheimportanceofhisneighbour’sfirstmovement。Werehetotearthoselettersintoshreds!Hemightbethustempted。Alldependedonthestrengthofhispresentmoodandtherealnatureofthesecretwhichlayburiedinhisheart。
  Wasthatheartasflintyasitseemed?Wastherenoplacefordoubtorevenforcuriosity,initsimpenetrabledepths?Seemingly,hehadnotmovedfootorhandsincehisunwelcomevisitorshadleft。
  Hewasdoubtlessstillstaringatthescatteredsheetslyingbeforehim;possiblybattlingwithunaccustomedimpulses;possiblyweighingdeedsandconsequencesinthoseslowmovingscalesofhisinwhichnomancouldcastaweightwithanycertaintyhowfaritsevenbalancewouldbedisturbed。
  Therewasasoundasofsettlingcoal。Onlyatnightwouldoneexpecttohearsoslightasoundasthatinatenementfullofnoisychildren。Butthemomentchancedtobepropitious,anditnotonlyattractedtheattentionofSweetwateronhissideofthewall,butitstrucktheearofBrothersonalso。Withanejaculationasbitterasitwasimpatient,herousedhimselfandgathereduptheletters。
  Sweetwatercouldhearthesuccessiverustlingsashebundledthemupinhishand。Thencameanothersilence-thentheliftingofastovelid。
  Sweetwaterhadnotbeenwronginhissecretapprehension。Hisidentificationwithhisunimpressionableneighbour’smoodhadshownhimwhattoexpect。Theseletters-theseinnocentandpreciousoutpouringsofarareandwomanlysoul-theonlyconceivableopensesametothehard-lockednaturehefoundhimselfpittedagainst,wouldsoonberesolvedintoavanishingpuffofsmoke。
  Butthelidwasthrustback,andthelettersremainedinhand。
  Mortalstrengthhasitslimits。EvenBrothersoncouldnotshutdownthatlidonwordswhichmighthavebeenmeantforhim,harshlyashehadrepelledtheidea。
  Thepausewhichfollowedtoldlittle;butwhenSweetwaterheardthemanwithinmovewithcharacteristicenergytothedoor,turnthekeyandstepbackagaintohisplaceatthetable,heknewthatthedangermomenthadpassedandthatthoseletterswereabouttoberead,notcasually,butseriously,asindeedtheircontentsmerited。
  ThiscausedSweetwatertofeelserioushimself。Uponwhatresultmighthecalculate?Whatwouldhappentothishardysoul,whenthefacthesoscornfullyrepudiated,wasborneinuponhim,andhesawthatthedisdainwhichhadantagonisedhimwasameredevice-acloaktohidethesecretheartofloveandeagerwomanlydevotion?
  Herdeath-littleasBrothersonwouldbelieveituptillnow-hadbeenhispersonallossthegreatestwhichcanbefallaman。Whenhecametoseethis-whenthemodestfervourofherunusualnaturebegantodawnuponhimintheseself-revelations,wouldtheresultberemorse,orjustthedeadeningandfinalextinctionofwhatevertendernesshemayhaveretainedforhermemory?
  Impossibletotell。Thebalanceofprobabilityhungeven。
  Sweetwaterrecognisedthis,andclung,breathless,tohisloop-hole。
  Fainwouldhehaveseen,aswellasheard。
  Mr。Brothersonreadthefirstletter,standing。Asitsoonbecamepublicproperty,Iwillgiveithere,justasitafterwardsappearedinthecolumnsofthegreedyjournals:”Beloved:”WhenIsit,asIoftendo,inperfectquietunderthestars,anddreamthatyouarelookingatthemtoo,notforhoursasI
  do,butforonefullmomentinwhichyourthoughtsarewithmeaswhollyasminearewithyou,Ifeelthatthebondbetweenus,unseenbytheworld,andpossiblynotwhollyrecognisedbyourselves,isinstinctwiththesamepowerwhichlinkstogethertheeternities。”Itseemstohavealwaysbeen;tohaveknownnobeginning,onlyabudding,anefflorescence,thevisibleproductofahiddenbutalwayspresentreality。AmonthagoandIwasignorant,even,ofyourname。Now,youseemthebestknowntome,thebestunderstood,ofGod’screatures。Oneafternoonofperfectcompanionship-oneflashofstrongemotion,withitsdeep,trueinsightintoeachother’ssoul,andthemiraclewaswrought。Wehadmet,andhenceforth,partingwouldmeanseparationonly,andnottheseveringofamutualbond。Onehand,andoneonly,coulddothatnow。Iwillnotnamethathand。Forusthereisnoughtaheadbutlife。”ThusdoIeasemyheartinthesilencewhichconditionsimposeuponus。SomedayIshallhearyourvoiceagain,andthen-”
  Thepaperdroppedfromthereader’shand。Itwasseveralminutesbeforehetookupanother。
  Thisone,asithappened,antedatedtheother,aswillappearonreadingit:”Myfriend:”IsaidthatIcouldnotwritetoyou-thatwemustwait。Youwerewilling;butthereismuchtobeaccomplished,andthesilencemaybelong。Myfatherisnotaneasymantoplease,buthedesiresmyhappinessandwilllistentomypleawhentherighthourcomes。Whenyouhavewonyourplace-whenyouhaveshownyourselftobethemanIfeelyoutobe,thenmyfatherwillrecogniseyourworth,andthewaywillbecleared,despitetheobstacleswhichnowintervene。”Butmeantime!Ah,youwillnotknowit,butwordswillrise-theheartmustfindutterance。Whatthelipcannotutter,northelooksreveal,thesepagesshallholdinsacredtrustforyoutillthedaywhenmyfatherwillplacemyhandinyours,withheart-feltapproval。”Isitafolly?Awoman’sweakevasionofthestrongsilenceofman?Youmaysaysosomeday;butsomehow,Idoubtit-Idoubtit。”
  Thecreakingofachair;-themanwithinhadseatedhimself。Therewasnoothersound;asoulinturmoilwakensnoechoes。Sweetwaterenviedthewallssurroundingtheunsympatheticreader。Theycouldsee。Hecouldonlylisten。
  Alittlewhile;thenthatslightrustlingagainoftheunfoldingsheet。Thefollowingwasread,andthenthefourthandlast:”Dearest:”DidyouthinkIhadneverseenyoutillthatdaywemetinLenox?
  Iamgoingtotellyouasecret-agreat,greatsecret-suchaoneasawomanhardlywhisperstoherownheart。”Oneday,inearlysummer,IwassittinginSt。Bartholomew’sChurchonFifthAvenue,waitingfortheservicestobegin。Itwasearlyandthecongregationwasassembling。Whileidlywatchingthepeoplecomingin,Isawagentlemanpassbymeuptheaisle,whomademeforgetalltheothers。HehadnottheairofaNewYorker;hewasnotevendressedincitystyle,butasInotedhisfaceandexpression,Isaidwaydowninmyheart,’ThatisthekindofmanIcouldlove;theonlymanIhaveeverseenwhocouldmakemeforgetmyownworldandmyownpeople。’
  Itwasapassingthought,soon~forgotten。ButwheninthathourofembarrassmentandperilonGreylockMountain,Ilookedupintothefaceofmyrescuerandsawagainthatcountenancewhichsoshortatimebeforehadcalledintolifeimpulsestillthenutterlyunknown,Iknewthatmyhourwascome。Andthatwaswhymyconfidencewassospontaneousandmybeliefinthefuturesoabsolute。”Itrustyourlovewhichwillworkwonders;andItrustmyown,whichsprangatalookbutonlygatheredstrengthandpermanencewhenIfoundthatthesoulofthemanIlovedbetteredhisoutwardattractions,makingtheidealofmyfoolishgirlhoodseemasunsubstantialandevanescentasadreamintheglowingnoontide。””MyOwn:”Icansaysonow;foryouhavewrittentome,andIhavethedancingwordswithwhichtosilenceanyunsoughtdoubtwhichmightsubduetheexuberanceofthesesecretoutpourings。”Ididnotexpectthis。Ithoughtthatyouwouldremainassilentasmyself。Butmen’swaysarenotourways。Theycannotexhaustlonginginpurposelesswordsonscrapsofsoullesspaper,andIamgladthattheycannot。Iloveyouforyourimpatience;foryourpurpose,andforthemanlinesswhichwillwinforyouyetallthatyoucovetoffame,accomplishmentandlove。Youexpectnoreply,buttherearewaysinwhichonecankeepsilentandyetspeak。
  Won’tyoubesurprisedwhenyouranswercomesinamanneryouhaveneverthoughtof?”