首页 >出版文学> McTeague>第27章

第27章

  Thenherglancetookonacertainintentness,andshepeeredcuriouslyintohisface,sayingalmostinawhisper:
  “I’mafraidofYOU。“
  Butthedentistdidnotheedher。Animmensejoyseizeduponhim——thejoyofpossession。Trinawashisveryownnow。Shelaythereinthehollowofhisarm,helplessandverypretty。
  Thoseinstinctsthatinhimweresoclosetothesurfacesuddenlyleapedtolife,shoutingandclamoring,nottoberesisted。Helovedher。Ah,didhenotloveher?Thesmellofherhair,ofherneck,rosetohim。
  Suddenlyhecaughtherinbothhishugearms,crushingdownherstrugglewithhisimmensestrength,kissingherfulluponthemouth。ThenhergreatloveforMcTeaguesuddenlyflashedupinTrina’sbreast;shegaveuptohimasshehaddonebefore,yieldingallatoncetothatstrangedesireofbeingconqueredandsubdued。Sheclungtohim,herhandsclaspedbehindhisneck,whisperinginhisear:
  “Oh,youmustbegoodtome——very,verygoodtome,dear——
  foryou’reallthatIhaveintheworldnow。“
  CHAPTER10
  Thatsummerpassed,thenthewinter。ThewetseasonbeganinthelastdaysofSeptemberandcontinuedallthroughOctober,November,andDecember。Atlongintervalswouldcomeaweekofperfectdays,theskywithoutacloud,theairmotionless,buttouchedwithacertainnimbleness,afainteffervescencethatwasexhilarating。Then,withoutwarning,duringanightwhenasouthwindblew,agrayscrollofcloudwouldunrollandhanghighoverthecity,andtherainwouldcomepatteringdownagain,atfirstinscatteredshowers,theninanuninterrupteddrizzle。
  AlldaylongTrinasatinthebaywindowofthesitting-roomthatcommandedaviewofasmallsectionofPolkStreet。Asoftenassheraisedherheadshecouldseethebigmarket,aconfectionerystore,abell-hanger’sshop,and,fartheron,abovetheroofs,theglassskylightsandwatertanksofthebigpublicbaths。Inthenearerforegroundranthestreetitself;thecablecarstrundledupanddown,thumpingheavilyoverthejointsoftherails;marketcartsbythescorecameandwent,drivenatagreatratebypreoccupiedyoungmenintheirshirtsleeves,withpencilsbehindtheirears,orbyrecklessboysinblood-stainedbutcher’saprons。
  UponthesidewalksthelittleworldofPolkStreetswarmedandjostledthroughitsdailyroundoflife。Onfinedaysthegreatladiesfromtheavenue,oneblockabove,invadedthestreet,appearingbeforethebutcherstalls,intentupontheirday’smarketing。Onrainydaystheirservants——theChinesecooksorthesecondgirls——tooktheirplaces。Theseservantsgavethemselvesgreatairs,carryingtheirbigcottonumbrellasastheyhadseentheirmistressescarrytheirparasols,andhagglinginsuperciliousfashionwiththemarketmen,theirchinsintheair。
  Therainpersisted。EverythingintherangeofTrina’svision,fromthetarpaulinsonthemarket-carthorsestothepanesofglassintheroofofthepublicbaths,lookedglazedandvarnished。Theasphaltofthesidewalksshonelikethesurfaceofapatentleatherboot;everyhollowinthestreethelditslittlepuddle,thatwinkedlikeaneyeeachtimeadropofrainstruckintoit。
  TrinastillcontinuedtoworkforUncleOelbermann。Inthemorningsshebusiedherselfaboutthekitchen,thebedroom,andthesitting-room;butintheafternoon,fortwoorthreehoursafterlunch,shewasoccupiedwiththeNoah’sarkanimals。Shetookherworktothebaywindow,spreadingoutagreatsquareofcanvasunderneathherchair,tocatchthechipsandshavings,whichsheusedafterwardsforlightingfires。Oneafteranothershecaughtupthelittleblocksofstraight-grainedpine,theknifeflashedbetweenherfingers,thelittlefiguregrewrapidlyunderhertouch,wasfinishedandreadyforpaintinginawonderfullyshorttime,andwastossedintothebasketthatstoodatherelbow。
  ButveryoftenduringthatrainywinterafterhermarriageTrinawouldpauseinherwork,herhandsfallingidlyintoherlap,hereyes——hernarrow,paleblueeyes——growingwideandthoughtfulasshegazed,unseeing,outintotherain-
  washedstreet。
  ShelovedMcTeaguenowwithablind,unreasoninglovethatadmittedofnodoubtorhesitancy。Indeed,itseemedtoherthatitwasonlyAFTERhermarriagewiththedentistthatshehadreallybeguntolovehim。Withtheabsolutefinalsurrenderofherself,theirrevocable,ultimatesubmission,hadcomeanaffectionthelikeofwhichshehadneverdreamedintheoldBStreetdays。ButTrinalovedherhusband,notbecauseshefanciedshesawinhimanyofthosenobleandgenerousqualitiesthatinspireaffection。Thedentistmightormightnotpossessthem,itwasallonewithTrina。Shelovedhimbecauseshehadgivenherselftohimfreely,unreservedly;hadmergedherindividualityintohis;
  shewashis,shebelongedtohimforeverandforever。
  Nothingthathecoulddososhetoldherself,nothingthatsheherselfcoulddo,couldchangeherinthisrespect。
  McTeaguemightceasetoloveher,mightleaveher,mightevendie;itwouldbeallthesame,SHEWASHIS。
  Butithadnotbeensoatfirst。Duringthoselong,rainydaysofthefall,dayswhenTrinawasleftaloneforhours,atthattimewhentheexcitementandnoveltyofthehoneymoonweredyingdown,whenthenewhouseholdwassettlingintoitsgrooves,shepassedthroughmanyanhourofmisgiving,ofdoubt,andevenofactualregret。
  NeverwouldsheforgetoneSundayafternooninparticular。
  Shehadbeenmarriedbutthreeweeks。AfterdinnersheandlittleMissBakerhadgoneforabitofawalktotakeadvantageofanhour’ssunshineandtolookatsomewonderfulgeraniumsinaflorist’swindowonSutterStreet。
  Theyhadbeencaughtinashower,andonreturningtotheflatthelittledressmakerhadinsistedonfetchingTrinauptohertinyroomandbrewingheracupofstrongtea,“totakethechilloff。“Thetwowomenhadchattedovertheirteacupsthebetterpartoftheafternoon,thenTrinahadreturnedtoherrooms。FornearlythreehoursMcTeaguehadbeenoutofherthoughts,andasshecamethroughtheirlittlesuite,singingsoftlytoherself,shesuddenlycameuponhimquiteunexpectedly。Herhusbandwasinthe“DentalParlors,“lyingbackinhisoperatingchair,fastasleep。
  Thelittlestovewascrammedwithcoke,theroomwasoverheated,theairthickandfoulwiththeodorsofether,ofcokegas,ofstalebeerandcheaptobacco。Thedentistsprawledhisgiganticlimbsoverthewornvelvetoftheoperatingchair;hiscoatandvestandshoeswereoff,andhishugefeet,intheirthickgraysocks,dangledovertheedgeofthefoot-rest;hispipe,fallenfromhishalf-openmouth,hadspilledtheashesintohislap;whileonthefloor,athissidestoodthehalf-emptypitcherofsteambeer。Hisheadhadrolledlimplyupononeshoulder,hisfacewasredwithsleep,andfromhisopenmouthcameaterrificsoundofsnoring。
  ForamomentTrinastoodlookingathimashelaythus,prone,inert,half-dressed,andstupefiedwiththeheatoftheroom,thesteambeer,andthefumesofthecheaptobacco。Thenherlittlechinquiveredandasobrosetoherthroat;shefledfromthe“Parlors,“andlockingherselfinherbedroom,flungherselfonthebedandburstintoanagonyofweeping。Ah,no,ah,no,shecouldnotlovehim。
  Ithadallbeenadreadfulmistake,andnowitwasirrevocable;shewasboundtothismanforlife。Ifitwasasbadasthisnow,onlythreeweeksafterhermarriage,howwoulditbeintheyearstocome?Yearafteryear,monthaftermonth,hourafterhour,shewastoseethissameface,withitssalientjaw,wastofeelthetouchofthoseenormousredhands,wastoheartheheavy,elephantinetreadofthosehugefeet——inthickgraysocks。Yearafteryear,dayafterday,therewouldbenochange,anditwouldlastallherlife。Eitheritwouldbeonelongcontinuedrevulsion,orelse——worsethanall——shewouldcometobecontentwithhim,wouldcometobelikehim,wouldsinktothelevelofsteambeerandcheaptobacco,andallherprettyways,herclean,trimlittlehabits,wouldbeforgotten,sincetheywouldbethrownawayuponherstupid,brutishhusband。“Herhusband!“THAT,washerhusbandinthere——shecouldyethearhissnores——forlife,forlife。
  Agreatdespairseizeduponher。Sheburiedherfaceinthepillowandthoughtofhermotherwithaninfinitelonging。
  Arousedatlengthbythechitteringofthecanary,McTeaguehadawakenedslowly。Afterawhilehehadtakendownhisconcertinaandplayeduponitthesixverymournfulairsthatheknew。
  Facedownwarduponthebed,Trinastillwept。Throughoutthatlittlesuitecouldbeheardbuttwosounds,thelugubriousstrainsoftheconcertinaandthenoiseofstifledweeping。
  ThatherhusbandshouldbeignorantofherdistressseemedtoTrinaanadditionalgrievance。Withperverseinconsistencyshebegantowishhimtocometoher,tocomforther。Heoughttoknowthatshewasintrouble,thatshewaslonelyandunhappy。
  “Oh,Mac,“shecalledinatremblingvoice。Buttheconcertinastillcontinuedtowailandlament。ThenTrinawishedsheweredead,andontheinstantjumpedupandranintothe“DentalParlors,“andthrewherselfintoherhusband’sarms,crying:“Oh,Mac,dear,loveme,lovemebig!I’msounhappy。“
  “What——what——what——“thedentistexclaimed,startingupbewildered,alittlefrightened。
  “Nothing,nothing,onlyLOVEme,lovemealwaysandalways。“
  Butthisfirstcrisis,thismomentaryrevolt,asmuchamatterofhigh-strungfemininenervesasofanythingelse,passed,andintheendTrina’saffectionforher“oldbear“
  grewinspiteofherself。Shebegantolovehimmoreandmore,notforwhathewas,butforwhatshehadgivenuptohim。OnlyonceagaindidTrinaundergoareactionagainstherhusband,andthenitwasbutthematterofaninstant,broughton,curiouslyenough,bythesightofabitofeggonMcTeague’sheavymustacheonemorningjustafterbreakfast。
  Then,too,thepairhadlearnedtomakeconcessions,littlebylittle,andallunconsciouslytheyadaptedtheirmodesoflifetosuiteachother。InsteadofsinkingtoMcTeague’slevelasshehadfeared,TrinafoundthatshecouldmakeMcTeaguerisetohers,andinthissawasolutionofmanyadifficultandgloomycomplication。
  Foronething,thedentistbegantodressalittlebetter,TrinaevensucceedingininducinghimtowearahighsilkhatandafrockcoatofaSunday。NextherelinquishedhisSundayafternoon’snapandbeerinfavorofthreeorfourhoursspentintheparkwithher——theweatherpermitting。
  SothatgraduallyTrina’smisgivingsceased,orwhentheydidassailher,shecouldatlastmeetthemwithashrugoftheshoulders,sayingtoherselfmeanwhile,“Well,it’sdonenowanditcan’tbehelped;onemustmakethebestofit。“
  Duringthefirstmonthsoftheirmarriedlifethesenervousrelapsesofhershadalternatedwithbrusqueoutburstsofaffectionwhenheronlyfearwasthatherhusband’slovedidnotequalherown。Withoutaninstant’swarning,shewouldclasphimabouttheneck,rubbinghercheekagainsthis,murmuring:
  “DearoldMac,Iloveyouso,Iloveyouso。Oh,aren’twehappytogether,Mac,justustwoandnooneelse?YoulovemeasmuchasIloveyou,don’tyou,Mac?Oh,ifyoushouldn’t——ifyouSHOULDN’T。“
  ButbythemiddleofthewinterTrina’semotions,oscillatingatfirstfromoneextremetoanother,commencedtosettlethemselvestoanequilibriumofcalmnessandplacidquietude。Herhouseholddutiesbeganmoreandmoretoabsorbherattention,forshewasanadmirablehousekeeper,keepingthelittlesuiteinmarvellousgoodorderandregulatingthescheduleofexpenditurewithaneconomythatoftenborderedonpositiveniggardliness。Itwasapassionwithhertosavemoney。Inthebottomofhertrunk,inthebedroom,shehidabrassmatch-safethatansweredthepurposesofasavingsbank。Eachtimesheaddedaquarterorahalfdollartothelittlestoreshelaughedandsangwithaveritablechildishdelight;whereas,ifthebutcherormilkmancompelledhertopayanoverchargeshewasunhappyfortherestoftheday。Shedidnotsavethismoneyforanyulteriorpurpose,shehoardedinstinctively,withoutknowingwhy,respondingtothedentist’sremonstranceswith:
  “Yes,yes,IknowI’malittlemiser,Iknowit。“
  Trinahadalwaysbeenaneconomicallittlebody,butitwasonlysincehergreatwinninginthelotterythatshehadbecomeespeciallypenurious。Nodoubt,inherfearlesttheirgreatgoodluckshoulddemoralizethemandleadtohabitsofextravagance,shehadrecoiledtoofarintheotherdirection。Never,never,nevershouldapennyofthatmiraculousfortunebespent;rathershoulditbeaddedto。