首页 >出版文学> Jude the Obscure>第59章

第59章

  `ByGad,theyarecoming!Ithinkthedeed’sdone!’
  `No,’saidUncleJoe,followinghimin。`Takemyword,heturnedrustyatthelastminute。Theyarewalkinginaveryunusualway;andthat’sthemeaningofit!’
  Theywaitedinsilencetillthewedding-partycouldbeheardenteringthehouse。FirstintotheroomcameArabellaboisterously;andherfacewasenoughtoshowthatherstrategyhadsucceeded。
  `Mrs。Fawley,Ipresume?’saidTinkerTaylorwithmockcourtesy。
  `Certainly。Mrs。Fawleyagain,’repliedArabellablandly,pullingoffhergloveandholdingoutherlefthand。`There’sthepadlock,see……
  Well,hewasaverynice,gentlemanlymanindeed。Imeantheclergyman。
  Hesaidtomeasgentleasababewhenallwasdone:`Mrs。Fawley,Icongratulateyouheartily,’hesays。`Forhavingheardyourhistory,andthatofyourhusband,Ithinkyouhavebothdonetherightandproperthing。Andforyourpasterrorsasawife,andhisasahusband,Ithinkyououghtnowtobeforgivenbytheworld,asyouhaveforgiveneachother,’sayshe。
  Yes:hewasaverynice,gentlemanlyman。`TheChurchdon’trecognizedivorceinherdogma,strictlyspeaking,’hesays:`andbearinmindthewordsoftheserviceinyourgoingsoutandyourcomingsin:WhatGodhathjoinedtogetherletnomanputasunder。’Yes:hewasaverynice,gentlemanlyman……But,Jude,mydear,youwereenoughtomakeacatlaugh!Youwalkedthatstraight,andheldyourselfthatsteady,thatonewouldhavethoughtyouweregoing’prenticetoajudge;thoughIknewyouwereseeingdoubleallthetime,fromthewayyoufumbledwithmyfinger。’
  `IsaidI’ddoanythingto-saveawoman’shonour,’mutteredJude。`AndI’vedoneit!’
  `Wellnow,olddeary,comealongandhavesomebreakfast。’
  `Iwant-some-morewhisky,’saidJudestolidly。
  `Nonsense,dear。Notnow!There’snomoreleft。Theteawilltakethemuddleoutofourheads,andweshallbeasfreshaslarks。’
  `Allright。I’ve-marriedyou。ShesaidIoughttomarryyouagain,andIhavestraightway。Itistruereligion!Ha-ha-ha!’
  JudetheObscureChapter50VI-viiiMichaelmascameandpassed,andJudeandhiswife,whohadlivedbutashorttimeinherfather’shouseaftertheirremarriage,wereinlodgingsonthetopfloorofadwellingnearertothecentreofthecity。
  Hehaddoneafewdays’workduringthetwoorthreemonthssincetheevent,buthishealthhadbeenindifferent,anditwasnowprecarious。
  Hewassittinginanarm-chairbeforethefire,andcoughedagooddeal。
  `I’vegotabargainformytroubleinmarryingtheeoveragain!’
  Arabellawassayingtohim。`Ishallhavetokeep’eeentirely-that’swhat’twillcometo!Ishallhavetomakeblack-potandsausages,andhawk’emaboutthestreet,alltosupportaninvalidhusbandI’dnobusinesstobesaddledwithatall。Whydidn’tyoukeepyourhealth,deceivingonelikethis?Youwerewellenoughwhentheweddingwas!’
  `Ah,yes!’saidhe,laughingacridly。`IhavebeenthinkingofmyfoolishfeelingaboutthepigyouandIkilledduringourfirstmarriage。
  IfeelnowthatthegreatestmercythatcouldbevouchsafedtomewouldbethatsomethingshouldservemeasIservedthatanimal。’
  Thiswasthesortofdiscoursethatwentonbetweenthemeverydaynow。Thelandlordofthelodging,whohadheardthattheywereaqueercouple,haddoubtediftheyweremarriedatall,especiallyashehadseenArabellakissJudeoneeveningwhenshehadtakenalittlecordial;andhewasabouttogivethemnoticetoquit,tillbychanceoverhearingheronenightharanguingJudeinrattlingterms,andultimatelyflingingashoeathishead,herecognizedthenoteofgenuinewedlock;andconcludingthattheymustberespectable,saidnomore。
  Judedidnotgetanybetter,andonedayherequestedArabella,withconsiderablehesitation,toexecuteacommissionforhim。Sheaskedhimindifferentlywhatitwas。
  `TowritetoSue。’
  `Whatinthename-doyouwantmetowritetoherfor?’
  `Toaskhowsheis,andifshe’llcometoseeme,becauseI’mill,andshouldliketoseeher-onceagain。’
  `Itislikeyoutoinsultalawfulwifebyaskingsuchathing!’
  `ItisjustinordernottoinsultyouthatIaskyoutodoit。
  YouknowIloveSue。Idon’twishtomincethematter-therestandsthefact:Iloveher。Icouldfindadozenwaysofsendingalettertoherwithoutyourknowledge。ButIwishtobequiteabove-boardwithyou,andwithherhusband。Amessagethroughyouaskinghertocomeisatleastfreefromanyodourofintrigue。Ifsheretainsanyofheroldnatureatall,she’llcome。’
  `You’venorespectformarriagewhatever,oritsrightsandduties!’
  `Whatdoesitmatterwhatmyopinionsare-awretchlikeme!Canitmattertoanybodyintheworldwhocomestoseemeforhalfanhour-herewithonefootinthegrave!……Come,pleasewrite,Arabella!’
  hepleaded。`Repaymycandourbyalittlegenerosity!’
  `Ishouldthinknot!’
  `Notjustonce?-Ohdo!’Hefeltthathisphysicalweaknesshadtakenawayallhisdignity。
  `Whatdoyouwanthertoknowhowyouarefor?Shedon’twanttosee’ee。She’stheratthatforsookthesinkingship!’
  `Don’t,don’t!’
  `AndIstucktoun-themorefoolI!Havethatstrumpetinthehouseindeed!’
  AlmostassoonasthewordswerespokenJudesprangfromthechair,andbeforeArabellaknewwhereshewashehadheronherbackuponalittlecouchwhichstoodthere,hekneelingaboveher。
  `Sayanotherwordofthatsort,’hewhispered,`andI’llkillyou-hereandnow!I’veeverythingtogainbyit-myowndeathnotbeingtheleastpart。Sodon’tthinkthere’snomeaninginwhatIsay!’
  `Whatdoyouwantmetodo?’gaspedArabella。
  `Promisenevertospeakofher。’
  `Verywell。Ido。’
  `Itakeyourword,’hesaidscornfullyasheloosenedher。`ButwhatitisworthIcan’tsay。’
  `Youcouldn’tkillthepig,butyoucouldkillme!’
  `Ah-thereyouhaveme!No-Icouldn’tkillyou-eveninapassion。Tauntaway!’
  Hethenbegancoughingverymuch,andsheestimatedhislifewithanappraiser’seyeashesankbackghastlypale。`I’llsendforher,’Arabellamurmured,`ifyou’llagreetomybeingintheroomwithyouallthetimeshe’shere。’
  Thesoftersideofhisnature,thedesiretoseeSue,madehimunabletoresisttheofferevennow,provokedashehadbeen;andherepliedbreathlessly:`Yes,Iagree。Onlysendforher!’
  Intheeveningheinquiredifshehadwritten。
  `Yes,’shesaid;`Iwroteanotetellingheryouwereill,andaskinghertocometo-morroworthedayafter。Ihaven’tpostedityet。’
  ThenextdayJudewonderedifshereallydidpostit,butwouldnotaskher;andfoolishHope,thatlivesonadropandacrumb,madehimrestlesswithexpectation。Heknewthetimesofthepossibletrains,andlistenedoneachoccasionforsoundsofher。
  Shedidnotcome;butJudewouldnotaddressArabellaagainthereon。
  Hehopedandexpectedallthenextday;butnoSueappeared;neitherwasthereanynoteofreply。ThenJudedecidedintheprivacyofhismindthatArabellahadneverpostedhers,althoughshehadwrittenit。Therewassomethinginhermannerwhichtoldit。Hisphysicalweaknesswassuchthatheshedtearsatthedisappointmentwhenshewasnottheretosee。Hissuspicionswere,infact,wellfounded。Arabella,likesomeothernurses,thoughtthatyourdutytowardsyourinvalidwastopacifyhimbyanymeansshortofreallyactinguponhisfancies。
  Heneversaidanotherwordtoherabouthiswishorhisconjecture。
  Asilent,undiscernedresolvegrewupinhim,whichgavehim,ifnotstrength,stabilityandcalm。Onemiddaywhen,afteranabsenceoftwohours,shecameintotheroom,shebeheldthechairempty。
  Downshefloppedonthebed,andsitting,meditated。`Nowwherethedevilismymangoneto!’shesaid。
  Adrivingrainfromthenorth-easthadbeenfallingwithmoreorlessintermissionallthemorning,andlookingfromthewindowatthedrippingspoutsitseemedimpossibletobelievethatanysickmanwouldhaveventuredouttoalmostcertaindeath。YetaconvictionpossessedArabellathathehadgoneout,anditbecameacertaintywhenshehadsearchedthehouse。`Ifhe’ssuchafool,lethimbe!’shesaid。`Icandonomore。’
  JudewasatthatmomentinarailwaytrainthatwasdrawingneartoAlfredston,oddlyswathed,paleasamonumentalfigureinalabaster,andmuchstaredatbyotherpassengers。Anhourlaterhisthinform,inthelonggreat-coatandblankethehadcomewith,butwithoutanumbrella,couldhavebeenseenwalkingalongthefive-mileroadtoMarygreen。Onhisfaceshowedthedeterminedpurposethatalonesustainedhim,buttowhichhasweaknessaffordedasorryfoundation。Bytheup-hillwalkhewasquiteblown,buthepressedon;andathalf-pastthreeo’clockstoodbythefamiliarwellatMarygreen。Therainwaskeepingeverybodyindoors;
  Judecrossedthegreentothechurchwithoutobservation,andfoundthebuildingopen。Herehestood,lookingforthattheschool,whencehecouldheartheusualsing-songtonesofthelittlevoicesthathadnotlearntCreation’sgroan。
  Hewaitedtillasmallboycamefromtheschool-oneevidentlyallowedoutbeforehoursforsomereasonorother。Judehelduphishand,andthechildcame。
  `PleasecallattheschoolhouseandaskMrs。Phillotsonifshewillbekindenoughtocometothechurchforafewminutes。’
  Thechilddeparted,andJudeheardhimknockatthedoorofthedwelling。Hehimselfwentfurtherintothechurch。Everythingwasnew,exceptafewpiecesofcarvingpreservedfromthewreckedoldfabric,nowfixedagainstthenewwalls。Hestoodbythese:theyseemedakintotheperishedpeopleofthatplacewhowerehisancestorsandSue’s。
  Alightfootstep,whichmighthavebeenaccountednomorethananaddeddriptotherainfall,soundedintheporch,andhelookedround。
  `Oh-Ididn’tthinkitwasyou!Ididn’t-Oh,Jude!’Ahystericalcatchinherbreathendedinasuccessionofthem。Headvanced,butshequicklyrecoveredandwentback。
  `Don’tgo-don’tgo!’heimplored。`Thisismylasttime!Ithoughtitwouldbelessintrusivethantoenteryourhouse。AndIshallnevercomeagain。Don’tthenbeunmerciful。Sue,Sue!Weareactingbytheletter;
  and’theletterkilleth’!’
  `I’llstay-Iwon’tbeunkind!’shesaid,hermouthquiveringandhertearsflowingassheallowedhimtocomecloser。`Butwhydidyoucome,anddothiswrongthing,afterdoingsucharightthingasyouhavedone?’
  `Whatrightthing?’
  `MarryingArabellaagain。ItwasintheAlfredstonpaper。Shehasneverbeenotherthanyours,Jude-inapropersense。Andthereforeyoudidsowell-Ohsowell!-inrecognizingit-andtakinghertoyouagain。’
  `Godabove-andisthatallI’vecometohear?Ifthereisanythingmoredegrading,immoral,unnatural,thananotherinmylife,itisthismeretriciouscontractwithArabellawhichhasbeencalleddoingtherightthing!Andyoutoo-youcallyourselfPhillotson’swife!Hiswife!
  Youaremine。’
  `Don’tmakemerushawayfromyou-Ican’tbearmuch!ButonthispointIamdecided。’
  `Icannotunderstandhowyoudidit-howyouthinkit-Icannot!’
  `Nevermindthat。Heisakindhusbandtome-AndI-I’vewrestledandstruggled,andfasted,andprayed。Ihavenearlybroughtmybodyintocompletesubjection。Andyoumustn’t-willyou-wake-’
  `Ohyoudarlinglittlefool;whereisyourreason?Youseemtohavesufferedthelossofyourfaculties!IwouldarguewithyouifIdidn’tknowthatawomaninyourstateoffeelingisquitebeyondallappealstoherbrains。Orisitthatyouarehumbuggingyourself,assomanywomendoaboutthesethings;anddon’tactuallybelievewhatyoupretendto,andonlyareindulgingintheluxuryoftheemotionraisedbyanaffectedbelief?’
  `Luxury!Howcanyoubesocruel!’
  `Youdear,sad,soft,mostmelancholywreckofapromisinghumanintellectthatithaseverbeenmylottobehold!Whereisyourscornofconventiongone?Iwouldhavediedgame!’