BetweentwoandthreeweeksafterwardsJudewasengagedwithsomemoremen,outsideCrozierCollegeinOld-timeStreet,ingettingablockofworkedfreestonefromawaggonacrossthepavement,beforehoistingittotheparapetwhichtheywererepairing。Standinginpositiontheheadmansaid,`Spaikwhenheheave!He-ho!’Andtheyheaved。
Allofasudden,ashelifted,hiscousinstoodclosetohiselbow,pausingamomentonthebendofherfoottilltheobstructingobjectshouldhavebeenremoved。Shelookedrightintohisfacewithliquid,untranslatableeyes,thatcombined,orseemedtohimtocombine,keennesswithtenderness,andmysterywithboth,theirexpression,aswellasthatofherlips,takingitslifefromsomewordsjustspokentoacompanion,andbeingcarriedonintohisfacequiteunconsciously。Shenomoreobservedhispresencethanthatofthedust-moteswhichhismanipulationsraisedintothesunbeams。
Hisclosenesstoherwassosuggestivethathetrembled,andturnedhisfaceawaywithashyinstincttopreventherrecognizinghim,thoughasshehadneveronceseenhimshecouldnotpossiblydoso;andmightverywellneverhaveheardevenhisname。Hecouldperceivethatthoughshewasacountry-girlatbottom,alattergirlhoodofsomeyearsinLondon,andawomanhoodhere,hadtakenallrawnessoutofher。
Whenshewasgonehecontinuedhiswork,reflectingonher。Hehadbeensocaughtbyherinfluencethathehadtakennocountofhergeneralmouldandbuild。Herememberednowthatshewasnotalargefigure,thatshewaslightandslight,ofthetypedubbedelegant。Thatwasaboutallhehadseen。Therewasnothingstatuesqueinher;allwasnervousmotion。
Shewasmobile,living,yetapaintermightnothavecalledherhandsomeorbeautiful。Butthemuchthatshewassurprisedhim。Shewasquitealongwayremovedfromtherusticitythatwashis。Howcouldoneofhiscross-grained,unfortunate,almostaccursedstock,havecontrivedtoreachthispitchofniceness?Londonhaddoneit,hesupposed。
Fromthismomenttheemotionwhichhadbeenaccumulatinginhisbreastasthebottled-upeffectofsolitudeandthepoetizedlocalityhedweltin,insensiblybegantoprecipitateitselfonthishalf-visionaryform;andheperceivedthat,whateverhisobedientwishinacontrarydirection,hewouldsoonbeunabletoresistthedesiretomakehimselfknowntoher。
Heaffectedtothinkofherquiteinafamilyway,sincetherewerecrushingreasonswhyheshouldnotandcouldnotthinkofherinanyother。
Thefirstreasonwasthathewasmarried,anditwouldbewrong。
Thesecondwasthattheywerecousins。Itwasnotwellforcousinstofallinloveevenwhencircumstancesseemedtofavourthepassion。Thethird:
evenwerehefree,inafamilylikehisownwheremarriageusuallymeantatragicsadness,marriagewithablood-relationwouldduplicatetheadverseconditions,andatragicsadnessmightbeintensifiedtoatragichorror。
Therefore,again,hewouldhavetothinkofSuewithonlyarelation’smutualinterestinonebelongingtohim;regardherinapracticalwayassomeonetobeproudof;totalkandnodto;lateron,tobeinvitedtoteaby,theemotionspentonherbeingrigorouslythatofakinsmanandwell-wisher。Sowouldshebetohimakindlystar,anelevatingpower,acompanioninAnglicanworship,atenderfriendJudetheObscureChapter14II-iiiButunderthevariousdeterrentinfluencesJude’sinstinctwastoapproachhertimidly,andthenextSundayhewenttothemorningserviceintheCathedralchurchofCardinalCollegetogainafurtherviewofher,forhehadfoundthatshefrequentlyattendedthere。
Shedidnotcome,andheawaitedherintheafternoon,whichwasfiner。Heknewthatifshecameatallshewouldapproachthebuildingalongtheeasternsideofthegreatgreenquadranglefromwhichitwasaccessible,andhestoodinacornerwhilethebellwasgoing。Afewminutesbeforethehourforservicesheappearedasoneofthefigureswalkingalongunderthecollegewalls,andatsightofherheadvancedupthesideopposite,andfollowedherintothebuilding,morethanevergladthathehadnotasyetrevealedhimself。Toseeher,andtobehimselfunseenandunknown,wasenoughforhimatpresent。
Helingeredawhileinthevestibule,andtheservicewassomewayadvancedwhenhewasputintoaseat。Itwasalouring,mournful,stillafternoon,whenareligionofsomesortseemsanecessitytoordinarypracticalmen,andnotonlyaluxuryoftheemotionalandleisuredclasses。Inthedimlightandthebafflingglareoftheclerestorywindowshecoulddiscerntheoppositeworshippersindistinctlyonly,buthesawthatSuewasamongthem。Hehadnotlongdiscoveredtheexactseatthatsheoccupiedwhenthechantingofthe119thPsalminwhichthechoirwasengagedreacheditssecondpart,Inquocorriget,theorganchangingtoapatheticGregoriantuneasthesingersgaveforth:
Wherewithalshallayoungmancleansehisway?ItwastheveryquestionthatwasengagingJude’sattentionatthismoment。
Whatawickedworthlessfellowhehadbeentogiveventashehaddonetoananimalpassionforawoman,andallowittoleadtosuchdisastrousconsequences;thentothinkofputtinganendtohimself;thentogorecklesslyandgetdrunk。Thegreatwavesofpedalmusictumbledroundthechoir,and,nursedonthesupernaturalashehadbeen,itisnotwonderfulthathecouldhardlybelievethatthepsalmwasnotspeciallysetbysomeregardfulProvidenceforthismomentofhisfirstentryintothesolemnbuilding。
Andyetitwastheordinarypsalmforthetwenty-fourtheveningofthemonth。
Thegirlforwhomhewasbeginningtonourishanextraordinarytendernesswasatthistimeenspheredbythesameharmoniesasthosewhichfloatedintohisears;andthethoughtwasadelighttohim。Shewasprobablyafrequenterofthisplace,and,steepedbodyandsoulinchurchsentimentasshemustbebyoccupationandhabit,had,nodoubt,muchincommonwithhim。Toanimpressionableandlonelyyoungmantheconsciousnessofhavingatlastfoundanchorageforhisthoughts,whichpromisedtosupplybothsocialandspiritualpossibilities,waslikethedewofHermon,andheremainedthroughouttheserviceinasustainingatmosphereofecstasy。
Thoughhewaslothtosuspectit,somepeoplemighthavesaidtohimthattheatmosphereblewasdistinctlyfromCyprusasfromGalilee。
Judewaitedtillshehadleftherseatandpassedunderthescreenbeforehehimselfmoved。Shedidnotlooktowardshim,andbythetimehereachedthedoorshewashalf-waydownthebroadpath。BeingdressedupinhisSundaysuithewasinclinedtofollowherandrevealhimself。
Buthewasnotquiteready;and,alas,oughthetodosowiththekindoffeelingthatwasawakeninginhim?
Forthoughithadseemedtohaveanecclesiasticalbasisduringtheservice,andhehadpersuadedhimselfthatsuchwasthecase,hecouldnotaltogetherbeblindtotherealnatureofthemagnetism。Shewassuchastrangerthatthekinshipwasaffectation,andhesaid,`Itcan’tbe!
I,amanwithawife,mustnotknowher!’StillSuewashisownkin,andthefactofhishavingawife,eventhoughshewasnotinevidenceinthishemisphere,mightbeahelpinonesense。ItwouldputallthoughtofatenderwishonhispartoutofSue’smind,andmakeherintercoursewithhimfreeandfearless。Itwaswithsomeheartachethathesawhowlittlehecaredforthefreedomandfearlessnessthatwouldresultinherfromsuchknowledge。
Somelittletimebeforethedateofthisserviceinthecathedralthepretty,liquid-eyed,light-footedyoungwomanSueBrideheadhadanafternoon’sholiday,andleavingtheecclesiasticalestablishmentinwhichshenotonlyassistedbutlodged,tookawalkintothecountrywithabookinherhand。ItwasoneofthosecloudlessdayswhichsometimesoccurinWessexandelsewherebetweendaysofcoldandwet,asifintercalatedbycapriceoftheweather-god。Shewentalongforamileortwountilshecametomuchhighergroundthanthatofthecityshehadleftbehindher。
Theroadpassedbetweengreenfields,andcomingtoastileSuepausedthere,tofinishthepageshewasreading,andthenlookedbackatthetowersanddomesandpinnaclesnewandold。
Ontheothersideofthestile,inthefootpath,shebeheldaforeignerwithblackhairandasallowface,sittingonthegrassbesidealargesquareboardwhereonwerefixed,ascloselyastheycouldstand,anumberofplasterstatuettes,someofthembronzed,whichhewasre-arrangingbeforeproceedingwiththemonhisway。Theywereinthemainreducedcopiesofancientmarbles,andcompriseddivinitiesofaverydifferentcharacterfromthosethegirlwasaccustomedtoseeportrayed,amongthembeingaVenusofstandardpattern,aDiana,and,oftheothersex,Apollo,Bacchus,andMars。Thoughthefiguresweremanyyardsawayfromherthesouth-westsunbroughtthemoutsobrilliantlyagainstthegreenherbagethatshecoulddiscerntheircontourswithluminousdistinctness;andbeingalmostinalinebetweenherselfandthechurchtowersofthecitytheyawokeinheranoddlyforeignandcontrastingsetofideasbycomparison。Themanrose,and,seeingher,politelytookoffhiscap,andcried`I-i-i-mages!’
inanaccentthatagreedwithhisappearance。Inamomenthedexterouslylifteduponhiskneethegreatboardwithitsassemblednotabilitiesdivineandhuman,andraisedittothetopofhishead,bringingthemontoherandrestingtheboardonthestile。Firstheofferedherhissmallerwares-thebustsofkingsandqueens,thenaminstrel,thenawingedCupid。
Sheshookherhead。
`Howmucharethesetwo?’shesaid,touchingwithherfingertheVenusandtheApollo-thelargestfiguresonthetray。
Hesaidsheshouldhavethemfortenshillings。
`Icannotaffordthat,’saidSue。Sheofferedconsiderablyless,andtohersurprisetheimage-mandrewthemfromtheirwirestayandhandedthemoverthestile。Sheclaspedthemastreasures。
Whentheywerepaidfor,andthemanhadgone,shebegantobeconcernedastowhatsheshoulddowiththem。Theyseemedsoverylargenowthattheywereinherpossession,andsoverynaked。Beingofanervoustemperamentshetrembledatherenterprise。Whenshehandledthemthewhitepipeclaycameoffonherglovesandjacket。Aftercarryingthemalongalittlewayopenlyanideacametoher,and,pullingsomehugeburdockleaves,parsley,andotherrankgrowthsfromthehedge,shewrappedupherburdenaswellasshecouldinthese,sothatwhatshecarriedappearedtobeanenormousarmfulofgreenstuffgatheredbyazealousloverofnature。
`Well,anythingisbetterthanthoseeverlastingchurchfallals!’
shesaid。Butshewasstillinatremblingstate,andseemedalmosttowishshehadnotboughtthefigures。
OccasionallypeepinginsidetheleavestoseethatVenus’sarmwasnotbroken,sheenteredwithherheathenloadintothemostChristiancityinthecountrybyanobscurestreetrunningparalleltothemainone,androundacornertothesidedooroftheestablishmenttowhichshewasattached。Herpurchasesweretakenstraightuptoherownchamber,andsheatonceattemptedtolocktheminaboxthatwasherveryownproperty;
butfindingthemtoocumbersomeshewrappedtheminlargesheetsofbrownpaper,andstoodthemonthefloorinacorner。
Themistressofthehouse,MissFontover,wasanelderlyladyinspectacles,dressedalmostlikeanabbess;adabatRitual,asbecomeoneofherbusiness,andaworshipperattheceremonialchurchofSt。Silas,inthesuburbofBeershebabefore-mentioned,whichJudealsohadbeguntoattend。Shewasthedaughterofaclergymaninreducedcircumstances,andathisdeath,whichhadoccurredseveralyearsbeforethisdate,sheboldlyavoidedpenurybytakingoveralittleshopofchurchrequisitesanddevelopingittoitspresentcreditableproportions。Sheworeacrossandbeadsroundherneckasheronlyornament,andknewtheChristianYearbyheart。
ShenowcametocallSuetotea,and,findingthatthegirldidnotrespondforamoment,enteredtheroomjustastheotherwashastilyputtingastringroundeachparcel。
`Somethingyouhavebeenbuying,MissBridehead?’sheasked,regardingtheenwrappedobjects。
`Yes-justsomethingtoornamentmyroom,’saidSue。
`Well,IshouldhavethoughtIhadputenoughherealready,’saidMissFontover,lookingroundattheGothic-framedprintsofsaints,theChurch-textscrolls,andotherarticleswhich,havingbecometoostaletosell,hadbeenusedtofurnishthisobscurechamber。`Whatisit?Howbulky!’Shetorealittlehole,aboutasbigasawafer,inthebrownpaper,andtriedtopeepin。`Why,statuary?Twofigures?Wheredidyougetthem?’
`Oh-Iboughtthemofatravellingmanwhosellscasts’
`Twosaints?’
`Yes。’
`Whatones?’
第13章