首页 >出版文学> Jeremy>第24章

第24章

  Theyenteredthehouse,andatonceevenMary,preoccupiedasshewaswithherstoryaboutthesailor,noticedthatsomethingwaswrong。
  “Rose!Rose!“shecalledoutloudly。
  “Hush!“saidMissJones。“Youmustbequiet,dear。“
  “Why?“saidMary。“IwantRoseto——“
  “Yourmotherisn’tatallwell,dear。I——“
  AndshewasinterruptedbyRose,who,comingsuddenlydownstairs,withafaceverydifferentfromherusualcheerfulone,saidsomethingtoMissJonesinalowvoice。
  MissJonesgavealittlecry:“Sosoon?……Agirl……“Andthenadded:“Howisshe?“
  ThenRosesaidsomethingmore,whichthechildrencouldnotcatch,andvanished。
  “Veryquietly,children,“saidMissJones,inavoicethattrembled;
  “andyoumustn’tleavetheschoolroomtillItellyou。Yourmother——
  “Shebrokeoffasthoughshewereafraidofshowingemotion。
  “Whatisit?“saidJeremyinavoicethatseemednewtothemall——
  older,moreresolute,strangelychallengingforsosmallaboy。
  “Yourmother’sveryill,Jeremy,dear。Youmustbeaverygoodboy,andhelpyoursisters。“
  “Mightn’tIgoforjustaminute?“
  “No,certainlynot。“
  Theyallwentupstairs。Then,intheschoolroom,MissJonessaidanamazingthing。Shesaid:
  “Imusttellyouall,children,thatyou’vegotanewlittlesister。“
  “Anewsister!“screamedMary。
  Helensaid:“Oh,MissJones!“
  Jeremysaid:“Whatdidshecomeforjustnow,whenMotherisill?“
  “Godwantedhertocome,dear,“saidMissJones。“Youmustallbeverykindtoher,anddoallyoucan——“
  Shewasinterruptedbyatorrentofquestionsfromthetwogirls。
  Whatwasshelike?Whatwashername?Couldshewalk?Wheredidshecomefrom?DidFatherandMotherfindherinDrymouth?Andsoon。
  Jeremywassilent。Atlasthesaid:“Wedon’twantanymoregirlshere。“
  “Betterthanhavinganotherboy,“saidHelen。
  Buthewouldnottakeupthechallenge。Hesatonhisfavouriteseatonthewindow-ledge,draggedupareluctantHamlettositwithhim,andgazedoutdownintothegardenthatwasmistynowintheeveninggoldenlight,thetreesandthesoilblackbeneaththegold,therooksslowlyswingingacrossthestyabovethefarthersideoftheroad。Hamletwriggled。Healwaysdetestedthatheshouldbecuddled,andhewouldpressfirstwithoneleg,thenwithanother,againstJeremy’scoat;thenhewouldliedeadforamoment,suddenlyspringing,withhisheadup,inthehopethatthesurprisewouldfreehim;thenhewouldturnintoasnake,twistinghisbodyunderJeremy’sarm,anddroppingwithaflopontothefloor。Allthesemanoeuvresto-dayavailedhimnothing;Jeremyheldhisneckinavice,anddughisfingerswellintotheskin。Hamletwhined,thenlaystill,and,inthemidstofindignantreflectionsagainsttheimbeciletyranniesofman,fell,tohisownsurprise,asleep。
  Jeremysattherewhilsttheduskfellandallthebeautifullightsweredrawnfromtheskyandtherookswenttobed。Rosecametodrawthecurtains,andthenhelefthiswindow-seat,draggedouthistoyvillageandpretendedtoplaywithit。Helookedathissisters。
  Theyseemedquitetranquil。Helenwassewing,andMarydeepin“ThePillarsoftheHouse。“Theclockticked。Hamlet,lostinsleep,snoredandsputtered;thewholeworldpursueditsordinaryway。Onlyinhimselfsomethingwaschanged;hewasunhappy,andhecouldnotaccountforhisunhappiness。Itshouldhavebeenbecausehismotherwasill,andyetshehadbeenillbefore,andhehadbeenonlydisturbedforamoment。Afterall,grown-uppeoplealwaysgotwell。
  TherehadbeenAuntAmy,whohadhadmeasles,andthewifeoftheDean,whohadhadsomething,andeventheBishoponce……Butnowhewasfrightened。Therewassomeperception,comingtohimnowforthefirsttimeinhislife,thatthisworldwasnotabsolutelystable——thatpeopleleftit,peoplecameintoit,thattherewaschangeanddangerandsomethingstronger……Graduallythisperceptionwasapproachinghimasthoughithadbeensomedarkfigurewhohadenteredthehouse,andnow,withmuffledstepandveiledface,wasslowlyclimbingthestairstowardshim。Heonlyknewthathismothercouldnotgo;shecouldnotgo。Shewaspartofhislife,andshewouldalwaysbeso。Why,now,whenhethoughtofit,hecoulddonothingwithouthismother;everydayhemusttellherwhathehaddoneandwhathewasgoingtodo,mustshowherwhathehadacquiredandmustexplaintoherwhathehadlost,mustgotoherwhenhewashurtandwhenhewasfrightenedandwhenhewasglad……Andofallthesethingshehadnevereventhoughtuntilnow。
  Ashesattherethehouseseemedtogroweverquieterandquieterabouthim。Hefeltasthoughhewouldhavelikedtohavegonetotheschoolroomdoorandlistened。Itwasterribleimaginingthehousebehindthedoor——quitesilent——sothattheclockshadstopped,andnoonewalkeduponthestairsandnoonelaugheddowninthepantry。
  Hewishedthattheywouldmakemorenoiseintheschoolroom。HeupsetthechurchandtheorchardandMrs。Noah。
  Butthesilenceafterthenoisewasworsethanever。
  SoonMissJonestookthetwogirlsawaytoherroomtofitonsomeclothes,anoperationwhichHelenadoredandMaryhated。Jeremywasleftalone,andhewas,atonce,terriblyfrightened。Heknewthatitwasofnousetobefrightened,andhetriedtogoonwithhisgame,puttingthechurchwiththeappletreesarounditandtheNoahfamilyallsleepingunderthetrees,butateverymomentsomethingcompelledhimtoraisehisheadandseethatnoonewasthere,andhefeltsosmallandsolonelythathewouldliketohavehiddenundersomething。
  Thenwhenhethoughtofhismotherallaloneandthehousesoquietaroundherandnooneabletogotoherhefeltsomiserablethatheturnedroundfromhisvillageandstareddesolatelyintothefireplace。Thethoughtofhisnewsistercametohim,butwasdismissedimpatiently。Hedidnotwantanewsister——MaryandHelenweretroubleenoughasitwas——andhefelt,withanoldwearyair,thatitwastime,indeed,thathewasofftoschool。Nothingwasthesame。Alwaysnewpeople。Neveranypeace。
  Hewasstartledbythesoundoftheopeningdoor,and,turning,sawhisfather。Hisfatherandhewereneververyeasytogether。Mr。
  Colehadverylittletimefortheindividual,beingengagedinsavingsoulsinthemass,andhischeery,good-temperedChristianityhadastrange,startlingfashionofprovingunavailingbeforesomesinglehumancase。
  Hedidnotunderstandchildrenexceptwhentheywereplacedinmassesbeforehim。Hisownchildren,havingbeennamed,ontheirarrival,“GiftsfromGod,“hadkeptmuchofthatincorporealatmospherethroughouttheirgrowingyears。
  Butto-nighthewasadifferentman。Ashelookedathissmallsonacrosstheschoolroomfloortherewasterrorinhiseyes。Nothingcouldhavebeeneasierormoresimplethanhislifelongassumptionthat,becauseGodwasinHisheavenallwasrightwiththeworld。Hehadgiventhankseveryeveningfortheblessingsthathehadreceivedandeverymorningfortheblessingsthathewasgoingtoreceive,andhehadhadnoreasontocomplain。Hehadthewife,thechildren,theworkthathedeserved,andhislifehadbeensohemmedinwithsecuritythathehadhadnodifficultyinassuringhiscongregationoneverypossibleoccasionthatGodwasgoodandfar-
  seeing,andthat“notonesparrow……“
  Andnowliewasthreatened——threatenedmostdesperately。Mrs。Colewassoillthatitwasdoubtfulwhethershewouldlivethroughthenight。Hewascompletelyhelpless。Hehadturnedfromonesidetoanother,simplydemandinganassurancefromsomeoneorsomethingthatshecouldnotbetakenfromhim。Noonecouldgivehimthatassurance。Lifewithoutherwouldbeimpossible;hewouldnotknowwhattodoaboutthesimplestmatter。Lifewithouther……oh!butitwasincredible!
  Likeablindmanhehadgropedhiswayuptotheschoolroom。Hedidnotwanttoseethechildren,norMissJones,buthemustbemoving,mustbedoingsomethingthatwouldbreakinuponthatterribleominouspausethatthewholeworldseemedtohim,atthismoment,tobemaking。
  ThenhesawJeremy。Hesaid:
  “Oh!Where’sMissJones?“
  “She’sinthenextroom,“saidJeremy,lookingathisfather。
  “Oh!“Hebegantowalkupanddowntheschoolroom。Jeremylefthistoyvillageandstoodup。
  “IsMotherbetter,Father?“
  Hestoppedinhiswalkandlookedattheboyasthoughheweretryingtorecollectwhohewas。
  “No……No——thatis——No,myboy,I’mafraidnot。“
  “Issheverybad,Father——liketheDean’swifewhenshehadfever?“
  Hisfatherdidn’tanswer。Hewalkedtotheendoftheroom,thenturnedsuddenlyasthoughhehadseensomethingtherethatterrifiedhim,andhurriedfromtheroom。
  Jeremy,suddenlyleftalone,hadadesperateimpulsetoscreamthatsomeonemustcome,thathewasfrightened,thatsomethinghorriblewasinthehouse。Hestoodup,staringatthecloseddoor,hisfacewhite,hiseyeslargeandfulloffear。ThenheflunghimselfdownbyHamletand,takinghimbytheneck,whispered:
  “I’mfrightened!I’mfrightened!Barkorsomething!……There’ssomeonehere!“
  III
  NextmorningMrs。Colewasstillalive。Therehadbeennochangeduringthenight;to-day,thedoctorsaid,wouldbethecriticalday。To-daywasSunday,andMr。Coletookhismorningserviceathischurchasusual。Hehadbeenupallnight;helookedhaggardandpale,stillwearingthatexpressionasofamanlostinaworldthathehadalwaystrusted。Buthewouldnotfailinhisduty。“Whentwoorthreearegatheredtogetherinmyname……“PerhapsGodwouldhearhim。
  ItwasadayofwonderfulheatforMay。Noonehadeverrememberedsohotadayatsoearlyatimeofyear。Thewindowsofthechurchwereopen,butnobreezeblewthroughtheaisles。Therelentlessblazingblueoftheskypenetratedintothecoolshadowsofthechurch,anditwasasthoughthecongregationsatthereundershimmeringglass。Thewavesoflightshifted,roseandfellabovethebonnetsandhatsandbareheads,andallthelittlechoirboysfellasleepduringthesermon。
  TheColefamilydidnotfallasleep。Theysatwithpalefacesandstiffbacksstaringattheirfatherandthinkingabouttheirmother。
  MaryandHelenwerefrightened;thehousewassostrange,everyonespokeinwhispers,and,onthewayintochurch,manyladieshadaskedthemhowtheirmotherwas。
  Theyfeltimportantaswellassad。ButJeremydidnotfeelimportant。Hehadnotheardtheladiesandtheirquestions——hewouldnothavecaredifhehad。Peoplehadalwayscalledhim“aqueerlittleboy,“simplybecausehewasindependentandthoughtmorethanhespoke。Nevertheless,hehadalwaysinrealitybeennormalenoughuntilnow。To-dayhewasreally“queer,“wasconsciousforthefirsttimeoftheexistenceofaworldwhoseadjacencetotherealworldwas,inafterdays,totroublehimsooftenandtocomplicatelifeforhimsogrievously。Theterrorthathadcomedownuponhimwhenhisfatherhadlefthimseemedto-dayutterlytosoakthroughintotheveryheartofhim。Hismotherwasgoingtodieunlesssomethingorsomebodysavedher。Whatwasdying?Goingaway,hehadalwaysbeentold,withagoldenharp,tosinghymnsinaforeigncountry。
  Butto-daythepicturewouldnotformsoeasily。TherewassilenceanddarknessandconfusionaboutthisDeath。Hismotherwasgoing,againstherwill,andnoonecouldtellhimwhithershewasgoing。
  Ifhecouldonlystopherdying,forceGodtoleaveheralone,toleaveherwiththemallasshehadbeenbefore……
  Hefixedhiseyesuponhisfather,whoclimbedslowlyintohispulpitandgaveoutthetextofhissermon。To-dayhewouldtalkaboutthesacrificeofIsaac。“Abraham,ashishearerswouldremember……“andsoon。