Sheleanedherforeheadonthecoolpane,andstoodhalfhiddenbythecurtains,nevermindingthatherfavoritewaltzhadbegun,tillsomeonetouchedher,andturning,shesawLaurie,lookingpenitent,ashesaid,withhisverybestbowandhishandout……
“Pleaseforgivemyrudeness,andcomeanddancewithme。“
“I’mafraiditwillbetodisagreeabletoyou,“saidMeg,tryingtolookoffendedandfailingentirely。
“Notabitofit,I’mdyingtodoit。Come,I’llbegood。
Idon’tlikeyourgown,butIdothinkyouarejustsplendid。“
Andhewavedhishands,asifwordsfailedtoexpresshisadmiration。
Megsmiledandrelented,andwhisperedastheystoodwaitingtocatchthetime,“Takecaremyskirtdoesn’ttripyouup。It’stheplagueofmylifeandIwasagoosetowearit。“
“Pinitroundyourneck,andthenitwillbeuseful,“saidLaurie,lookingdownatthelittleblueboots,whichheevidentlyapprovedof。
Awaytheywentfleetlyandgracefully,forhavingpracticedathome,theywerewellmatched,andtheblitheyoungcouplewereapleasantsighttosee,astheytwirledmerrilyroundandround,feelingmorefriendlythaneveraftertheirsmalltiff。
“Laurie,Iwantyoutodomeafavor,willyou?’saidMeg,ashestoodfanningherwhenherbreathgaveout,whichitdidverysoonthoughshewouldnotownwhy。
“Won’tI!“saidLaurie,withalacrity。
“Pleasedon’ttellthemathomeaboutmydresstonight。
Theywon’tunderstandthejoke,anditwillworryMother。’
“Thenwhydidyoudoit?“saidLaurie’seyes,soplainlythatMeghastilyadded……
“Ishalltellthemmyselfallaboutit,and`fess’toMotherhowsillyI’vebeen。ButI’dratherdoitmyself。Soyou’llnottell,willyou?“
“IgiveyoumywordIwon’t,onlywhatshallIsaywhentheyaskme?“
“JustsayIlookedprettywellandwashavingagoodtime。“
“I’llsaythefirstwithallmyheart,buthowabouttheother?Youdon’tlookasifyouwerehavingagoodtime。
Areyou?’AndLaurielookedatherwithanexpressionwhichmadeheranswerinawhisper……
“No,notjustnow。Don’tthinkI’mhorrid。Ionlywantedalittlefun,butthissortdoesn’tpay,Ifind,andI’mgettingtiredofit。“
“HerecomesNedMoffat。Whatdoeshewant?“saidLaurie,knittinghisblackbrowsasifhedidnotregardhisyounghostinthelightofapleasantadditiontotheparty。
“Heputhisnamedownforthreedances,andIsupposehe’scomingforthem。Whatabore!“saidMeg,assumingalanguidairwhichamusedLaurieimmensely。
Hedidnotspeaktoheragaintillsuppertime,whenhesawherdrinkingchampagnewithNedandhisfriendFisher,whowerebehaving`likeapairoffools’,asLauriesaidtohimself,forhefeltabrotherlysortofrighttowatchovertheMarchesandfighttheirbattleswheneveradefenderwasneeded。
“You’llhaveasplittingheadachetomorrow,ifyoudrinkmuchofthat。Iwouldn’t,Meg,yourmotherdoesn’tlikeit,youknow,“hewhispered,leaningoverherchair,asNedturnedtorefillherglassandFisherstoopedtopickupherfan。
“I’mnotMegtonight,I’m`adoll’whodoesallsortsofcrazythings。TomorrowIshallputawaymy`fussandfeathers’
andbedesperatelygoodagain,“seansweredwithanaffectedlittlelaugh。
“Wishtomorrowwashere,then,“mutteredLaurie,walkingoff,ill-pleasedatthechangehesawinher。
Megdancedandflirted,chatteredandgiggled,astheothergirlsdid。AftersuppersheundertooktheGerman,andblunderedthroughit,nearlyupsettingherpartnerwithherlongskirt,andrompinginawaythatscandalizedLaurie,wholookedonandmeditatedalecture。Buthegotnochancetodeliverit,forMegkeptawayfromhimtillhecametosaygoodnight。
“Remember!“shesaid,tryingtosmile,forthesplittingheadachehadalreadybegun。
“Silencea`lamort,“repliedLaurie,withamelodramaticflourish,ashewentaway。
ThislittlebitofbyplayexcitedAnnie’scuriosity,butMegwastootiredforgossipandwenttobed,feelingasifshehadbeentoamasqueradeandhadn’tenjoyedherselfasmuchassheexpected。Shewassickallthenextday,andonSaturdaywenthome,quiteusedupwithherfortnight’sfunandfeelingthatshehad`satinthelapofluxury’longenough。
“Itdoesseempleasanttobequiet,andnothavecompanymannersonallthetime。Homeisaniceplace,thoughitisn’tsplendid,“saidMeg,lookingaboutherwitharestfulexpression,asshesatwithhermotherandJoontheSundayevening。
“I’mgladtohearyousayso,dear,forIwasafraidhomewouldseemdullandpoortoyouafteryourfinequarters,“repliedhermother,whohadgivenhermanyanxiouslooksthatday。Formotherlyeyesarequicktoseeanychangeinchildren’sfaces。
Meghadtoldheradventuresgaylyandsaidoverandoverwhatacharmingtimeshehadhad,butsomethingstillseemedtoweighuponherspirits,andwhentheyoungergirlsweregonetobed,shesatthoughtfullystaringatthefire,sayinglittleandlookingworried。AstheclockstrucknineandJoproposedbed,Megsuddenlyleftherchairand,takingBeth’sstool,leanedherelbowsonhermother’sknee,sayingbravely……
“Marmee,Iwantto`fess’。“
“Ithoughtso。Whatisit,dear?“
“ShallIgoaway?“askedJodiscreetly。
“Ofcoursenot。Don’tIalwaystellyoueverything?Iwasashamedtospeakofitbeforetheyoungerchildren,butIwantyoutoknowallthedreadfulthingsIdidattheMoffats’。“
“Weareprepared,“saidMrs。March,smilingbutlookingalittleanxious。
“Itoldyoutheydressedmeup,butIdidn’ttellyouthattheypowderedandsqueezedandfrizzled,andmademelooklikeafashionplate。LauriethoughtIwasn’tproper。Iknowhedid,thoughhedidn’tsayso,andonemancalledme`adoll’。Iknewitwassilly,buttheyflatteredmeandsaidIwasabeauty,andquantitiesofnonsense,soIletthemmakeafoolofme。“
“Isthatall?“askedJo,asMrs。Marchlookedsilentlyatthedowncastfaceofherprettydaughter,andcouldnotfinditinherhearttoblameherlittlefollies。
“No,Idrankchampagneandrompedandtriedtoflirt,andwasaltogetherabominable,“saidMegself-reproachfully。
“Thereissomethingmore,Ithink。“AndMrs。Marchsmoothedthesoftcheek,whichsuddenlygrewrosyasMegansweredslowly……
“Yes。It’sverysilly,butIwanttotellit,becauseIhatetohavepeoplesayandthinksuchthingsaboutusandLaurie。“
ThenshetoldthevariousbitsofgossipshehadheardattheMoffats’,andasshespoke,Josawhermotherfoldherlipstightly,asifillpleasedthatsuchideasshouldbeputintoMeg’sinnocentmind。
“Well,ifthatisn’tthegreatestrubbishIeverheard,“criedJoindignantly。“Whydidn’tyoupopoutandtellthemsoonthespot?’
“Icouldn’t,itwassoembarrassingforme。Icouldn’thelphearingatfirst,andthenIwassoangryandashamed,Ididn’trememberthatIoughttogoaway。“
“JustwaittillIseeAnnieMoffat,andI’llshowyouhowtosettlesuchridiculousstuff。Theideaofhaving`plans’andbeingkindtoLauriebecausehe’srichandmaymarryusby-and-by!Won’theshoutwhenItellhimwhatthosesillythingssayaboutuspoorchildren?“AndJolaughed,asifonsecondthoughtsthethingstruckherasagoodjoke。
“IfyoutellLaurie,I’llneverforgiveyou!Shemustn’t,mustshe,Mother?“saidMeg,lookingdistressed。
“No,neverrepeatthatfoolishgossip,andforgetitassoonasyoucan,“saidMrs。Marchgravely。“IwasveryunwisetoletyougoamongpeopleofwhomIknowsolittle,kind,Idaresay,butworldly,ill-bred,andfullofthesevulgarideasaboutyoungpeople。IammoresorrythanIcanexpressforthemischiefthisvisitmayhavedoneyou,Meg。“
“Don’tbesorry,Iwon’tletithurtme。I’llforgetallthebadandrememberonlythegood,forIdidenjoyagreatdeal,andthankyouverymuchforlettingmego。I’llnotbesentimentalordissatisfied,Mother。IknowI’masillylittlegirl,andI’llstaywithyoutillI’mfittotakecareofmyself。Butitisnicetobepraisedandadmired,andIcan’thelpsayingIlikeit,“saidMeg,lookinghalfashamedoftheconfession。
“Thatisperfectlynatural,andquiteharmless,ifthelikingdoesnotbecomeapassionandleadonetodofoolishorunmaidenlythings。Learntoknowandvaluethepraisewhichisworthhaving,andtoexcitetheadmirationofexcellentpeoplebybeingmodestaswellaspretty,Meg。“
Margaretsatthinkingamoment,whileJostoodwithherhandsbehindher,lookingbothinterestedandalittleperplexed,foritwasanewthingtoseeMegblushingandtalkingaboutadmiration,lovers,andthingsofthatsort。AndJofeltasifduringthatfortnighthersisterhadgrownupamazingly,andwasdriftingawayfromherintoaworldwhereshecouldnotfollow。
“Mother,doyouhave`plans’,asMrs。Moffatsaid?“askedMegbashfully。
“Yes,mydear,Ihaveagreatmany,allmothersdo,butminediffersomewhatfromMrs。Moffat’s,Isuspect。Iwilltellyousomeofthem,forthetimehascomewhenawordmaysetthisromanticlittleheadandheartofyoursright,onaveryserioussubject。Youareyoung,Meg,butnottooyoungtounderstandme,andmothers’lipsarethefittesttospeakofsuchthingstogirlslikeyou。Jo,yourturnwillcomeintime,perhaps,solistentomy`plans’andhelpmecarrythemout,iftheyaregood。“
Jowentandsatononearmofthechair,lookingasifshethoughttheywereabouttojoininsomeverysolemnaffair。
Holdingahandofeach,andwatchingthetwoyoungfaceswistfully,Mrs。Marchsaid,inherseriousyetcheeryway……
“Iwantmydaughterstobebeautiful,accomplished,andgood。
Tobeadmired,loved,andrespected。Tohaveahappyyouth,tobewellandwiselymarried,andtoleaduseful,pleasantlives,withaslittlecareandsorrowtotrythemasGodseesfittosend。
Tobelovedandchosenbyagoodmanisthebestandsweetestthingwhichcanhappentoawoman,andIsincerelyhopemygirlsmayknowthisbeautifulexperience。Itisnaturaltothinkofit,Meg,righttohopeandwaitforit,andwisetoprepareforit,sothatwhenthehappytimecomes,youmayfeelreadyforthedutiesandworthyofthejoy。Mydeargirls,Iamambitiousforyou,butnottohaveyoumakeadashintheworld,marryrichmenmerelybecausetheyarerich,orhavesplendidhouses,whicharenothomesbecauseloveiswanting。Moneyisaneedfulandpreciousthing,andwhenwellused,anoblething,butIneverwantyoutothinkitisthefirstoronlyprizetostrivefor。I’dratherseeyoupoormen’swives,ifyouwerehappy,beloved,contented,thanqueensonthrones,withoutself-respectandpeace。“
“Poorgirlsdon’tstandanychance,Bellesays,unlesstheyputthemselvesforward,“sighedMeg。
“Thenwe’llbeoldmaids,“saidJostoutly。
第18章