’TheDepartmentisaccessibletothe——Public,’MrBarnaclewasalwayscheckedalittlebythatwordofimpertinentsignification,’ifthe——Publicapproachesitaccordingtotheofficialforms;ifthe——Publicdoesnotapproachitaccordingtotheofficialforms,the——Publichasitselftoblame。’
MrBarnaclemadehimaseverebow,asawoundedmanoffamily,awoundedmanofplace,andawoundedmanofagentlemanlyresidence,allrolledintoone;andhemadeMrBarnacleabow,andwasshutoutintoMewsStreetbytheflabbyfootman。
Havinggottothispass,heresolvedasanexerciseinperseverance,tobetakehimselfagaintotheCircumlocutionOffice,andtrywhatsatisfactionhecouldgetthere。SohewentbacktotheCircumlocutionOffice,andoncemoresentuphiscardtoBarnaclejuniorbyamessengerwhotookitveryillindeedthatheshouldcomebackagain,andwhowaseatingmashedpotatoesandgravybehindapartitionbythehallfire。
HewasreadmittedtothepresenceofBarnaclejunior,andfoundthatyounggentlemansingeinghiskneesnow,andgapinghiswearywayontofouro’clock。
’Isay。Lookhere。Yousticktousinadevilofamanner,’SaidBarnaclejunior,lookingoverhisshoulder。
’Iwanttoknow——’
’Lookhere。Uponmysoulyoumustn’tcomeintotheplacesayingyouwanttoknow,youknow,’remonstratedBarnaclejunior,turningaboutandputtinguptheeye-glass。
’Iwanttoknow,’saidArthurClennam,whohadmadeuphismindtopersistenceinoneshortformofwords,’theprecisenatureoftheclaimoftheCrownagainstaprisonerfordebt,namedDorrit。’
’Isay。Lookhere。Youreallyaregoingitatagreatpace,youknow。Egad,youhaven’tgotanappointment,’saidBarnaclejunior,asifthethingweregrowingserious。
’Iwanttoknow,’saidArthur,andrepeatedhiscase。
Barnaclejuniorstaredathimuntilhiseye-glassfellout,andthenputitinagainandstaredathimuntilitfelloutagain。
’Youhavenorighttocomethissortofmove,’hethenobservedwiththegreatestweakness。’Lookhere。Whatdoyoumean?Youtoldmeyoudidn’tknowwhetheritwaspublicbusinessornot。’
’Ihavenowascertainedthatitispublicbusiness,’returnedthesuitor,’andIwanttoknow’——andagainrepeatedhismonotonousinquiry。
ItseffectuponyoungBarnaclewastomakehimrepeatinadefencelessway,’Lookhere!UponmySOULyoumustn’tcomeintotheplacesayingyouwanttoknow,youknow!’TheeffectofthatuponArthurClennamwastomakehimrepeathisinquiryinexactlythesamewordsandtoneasbefore。TheeffectofthatuponyoungBarnaclewastomakehimawonderfulspectacleoffailureandhelplessness。
’Well,Itellyouwhat。Lookhere。YouhadbettertrytheSecretarialDepartment,’hesaidatlast,sidlingtothebellandringingit。’Jenkinson,’tothemashedpotatoesmessenger,’MrWobbler!’
ArthurClennam,whonowfeltthathehaddevotedhimselftothestormingoftheCircumlocutionOffice,andmustgothroughwithit,accompaniedthemessengertoanotherfloorofthebuilding,wherethatfunctionarypointedoutMrWobbler’sroom。Heenteredthatapartment,andfoundtwogentlemensittingfacetofaceatalargeandeasydesk,oneofwhomwaspolishingagun-barrelonhispocket-handkerchief,whiletheotherwasspreadingmarmaladeonbreadwithapaper-knife。
’MrWobbler?’inquiredthesuitor。
Bothgentlemenglancedathim,andseemedsurprisedathisassurance。
’Sohewent,’saidthegentlemanwiththegun-barrel,whowasanextremelydeliberatespeaker,’downtohiscousin’splace,andtooktheDogwithhimbyrail。InestimableDog。Flewattheporterfellowwhenhewasputintothedog-box,andflewattheguardwhenhewastakenout。Hegothalf-a-dozenfellowsintoaBarn,andagoodsupplyofRats,andtimedtheDog。FindingtheDogabletodoitimmensely,madethematch,andheavilybackedtheDog。Whenthematchcameoff,somedevilofafellowwasboughtover,Sir,Dogwasmadedrunk,Dog’smasterwascleanedout。’
’MrWobbler?’inquiredthesuitor。
Thegentlemanwhowasspreadingthemarmaladereturned,withoutlookingupfromthatoccupation,’WhatdidhecalltheDog?’
’CalledhimLovely,’saidtheothergentleman。’SaidtheDogwastheperfectpictureoftheoldauntfromwhomhehadexpectations。
Foundhimparticularlylikeherwhenhocussed。’
’MrWobbler?’saidthesuitor。
Bothgentlemenlaughedforsometime。Thegentlemanwiththegun-
barrel,consideringit,oninspection,inasatisfactorystate,referredittotheother;receivingconfirmationofhisviews,hefitteditintoitsplaceinthecasebeforehim,andtookoutthestockandpolishedthat,softlywhistling。
’MrWobbler?’saidthesuitor。
’What’sthematter?’thensaidMrWobbler,withhismouthfull。
’Iwanttoknow——’andArthurClennamagainmechanicallysetforthwhathewantedtoknow。
’Can’tinformyou,’observedMrWobbler,apparentlytohislunch。
’Neverheardofit。Nothingatalltodowithit。BettertryMrClive,seconddoorontheleftinthenextpassage。’
’Perhapshewillgivemethesameanswer。’
’Verylikely。Don’tknowanythingaboutit,’saidMrWobbler。
Thesuitorturnedawayandhadlefttheroom,whenthegentlemanwiththeguncalledout’Mister!Hallo!’
Helookedinagain。
’Shutthedoorafteryou。You’relettinginadevilofadraughthere!’
Afewstepsbroughthimtotheseconddoorontheleftinthenextpassage。Inthatroomhefoundthreegentlemen;numberonedoingnothingparticular,numbertwodoingnothingparticular,numberthreedoingnothingparticular。Theyseemed,however,tobemoredirectlyconcernedthantheothershadbeenintheeffectiveexecutionofthegreatprincipleoftheoffice,astherewasanawfulinnerapartmentwithadoubledoor,inwhichtheCircumlocutionSagesappearedtobeassembledincouncil,andoutofwhichtherewasanimposingcomingofpapers,andintowhichtherewasanimposinggoingofpapers,almostconstantly;whereinanothergentleman,numberfour,wastheactiveinstrument。
’Iwanttoknow,’saidArthurClennam,——andagainstatedhiscaseinthesamebarrel-organway。Asnumberonereferredhimtonumbertwo,andasnumbertworeferredhimtonumberthree,hehadoccasiontostateitthreetimesbeforetheyallreferredhimtonumberfour,towhomhestateditagain。
Numberfourwasavivacious,well-looking,well-dressed,agreeableyoungfellow——hewasaBarnacle,butonthemoresprightlysideofthefamily——andhesaidinaneasyway,’Oh!youhadbetternotbotheryourselfaboutit,Ithink。’
’Notbothermyselfaboutit?’
’No!Irecommendyounottobotheryourselfaboutit。’
ThiswassuchanewpointofviewthatArthurClennamfoundhimselfatalosshowtoreceiveit。
’Youcanifyoulike。Icangiveyouplentyofformstofillup。
Lotsof’emhere。Youcanhaveadozenifyoulike。Butyou’llnevergoonwithit,’saidnumberfour。
’Woulditbesuchhopelesswork?Excuseme;IamastrangerinEngland。’
’Idon’tsayitwouldbehopeless,’returnednumberfour,withafranksmile。’Idon’texpressanopinionaboutthat;Ionlyexpressanopinionaboutyou。Idon’tthinkyou’dgoonwithit。
However,ofcourse,youcandoasyoulike。Isupposetherewasafailureintheperformanceofacontract,orsomethingofthatkind,wasthere?’
’Ireallydon’tknow。’
’Well!Thatyoucanfindout。Thenyou’llfindoutwhatDepartmentthecontractwasin,andthenyou’llfindoutallaboutitthere。’
’Ibegyourpardon。HowshallIfindout?’
’Why,you’ll——you’llasktilltheytellyou。Thenyou’llmemorialisethatDepartmentaccordingtoregularformswhichyou’llfindoutforleavetomemorialisethisDepartment。Ifyougetitwhichyoumayafteratime,thatmemorialmustbeenteredinthatDepartment,senttoberegisteredinthisDepartment,sentbacktobesignedbythatDepartment,sentbacktobecountersignedbythisDepartment,andthenitwillbegintoberegularlybeforethatDepartment。You’llfindoutwhenthebusinesspassesthrougheachofthesestagesbyaskingatbothDepartmentstilltheytellyou。’
’Butsurelythisisnotthewaytodothebusiness,’ArthurClennamcouldnothelpsaying。
ThisairyyoungBarnaclewasquiteentertainedbyhissimplicityinsupposingforamomentthatitwas。ThislightinhandyoungBarnacleknewperfectlythatitwasnot。ThistouchandgoyoungBarnaclehad’gotup’theDepartmentinaprivatesecretaryship,thathemightbereadyforanylittlebitoffatthatcametohand;
andhefullyunderstoodtheDepartmenttobeapolitico-diplomatichocuspocuspieceofmachineryfortheassistanceofthenobsinkeepingoffthesnobs。ThisdashingyoungBarnacle,inaword,waslikelytobecomeastatesman,andtomakeafigure。
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