“That’swhosheis!“saidtheGovernor,rememberingMrs。McLeanallatonce。“Iknowher。SheusedtobeatSidney。She’sgotanotherhusbandsomewhere。She’soneoftheboys。Oh,that’snothinginthiscountry!“hecontinuedtotheamazedOgden,whohadejaculated“Bigamy!““Lotsofthemmarry,livetogetherawhile,gettiredandquit,travel,catchontoanewman,marryhim,gettiredandquit,travel,catchon——“
“Onemoment,Ibeg,“saidOgden,adjustinghisglasses。“Whatdoesthelaw——“
“Law?“saidtheGovernor。“Lookatthatplace!“Heswepthishandtowardsthevastplainsandthemountains。“Ninety-fivethousandsquaremilesofthat,andsixtythousandpeopleinit。Wehaven’tgotpolicemenyetontopoftheRockyMountains。“
“Isee,“saidtheNew-Yorker。“But——but——wellletAandBrepresentfirstandsecondhusbands,andXrepresentthewoman。Now,doesAknowaboutB?ordoesBknowaboutA?Andwhatdotheydoaboutit?“
“Can’tsay,“theGovernoranswered,jovially。“Can’tgeneralize。Dependsonheapsofthings——love——money——Didyougotocollege?Well,letA
minusXequalBplusX,thenifAandBgetsquared——“
“Oh,cometolunch,“Isaid。“Barker,doyoureallyknowthefirsthusbandisalive?“
“Wasn’tdeadlastwinter。“AndBarkergaveustheparticulars。MissKatiePeckhadnotservedlongintherestaurantbeforeshewaswooedandwonbyamanwhohadbeenaranchcook,asheep-herder,abar-tender,afreighthand,andwasthenhaulingpolesforthegovernment。Duringhisnecessaryabsencesfromhomeshe,too,wentout-of-doors。Thisheoftendiscovered,andwouldbeather,andshewouldthenalsobeathim。Afterthebeatingsoneofthemwouldalwaysleavetheotherforever。ThuswasSidneykeptinsmall-talkuntilMrs。Luskonedayreallydidnotcomeback。“Lusk,“saidtheGovernor,finishinghisstory,“criedaroundthesaloonsforacoupleofdays,andthenwentonhaulingpolesforthegovernment,tillatlasthesaidhe’dheardofabetterjobsouth,andnextweknewofhimhewasroundLeavenworth。Luskwasaprettypoorbird。Owesmetendollars。“
“Well,“Isaid,“noneofuseverknewabouthimwhenshecametostaywithMrs。TayloronBearCreek。ShewasMissPeckwhenLinmadeherMrs。
McLean。“
“You’llnotice,“saidtheGovernor,“howshehasgothimunderinthreeweeks。Oldhand,yousee。“
“PoorLin!“Isaid。
“Lucky,Icallhim,“saidtheGovernor。“Hecanquither。“
“SupposingMcLeandoesnotwanttoquither?“
“She’seducatinghimtowanttorightnow,andIthinkhe’lllearnprettyquick。IguessMr。Lin’sromancewasn’tveryidealthistrip。Hello!herecomesJode。Jode,won’tyoulunchwithus?Mr。Ogden,ofNewYork,Mr。
Jode。Mr。Jodeisoursignal-serviceofficer,Mr。Ogden。“TheGovernor’seyesweresparklinghilariously,andhewinkedatme。
“Gentlemen,good-morning。Mr。Ogden,Iamhonoredtomakeyouracquaintance,“saidthesignal-serviceofficer。
“Jode,whenisitgoingtorain?“saidtheGovernor,anxiously。
NowJodeisthemostextraordinarilysolemnmanIhaveeverknown。Hehasthesolemnityofallscience,addedtotheunspeakableweightofrepresentingfiveoftheoldestfamiliesinSouthCarolina。TheJodesthemselveswerenotoldinSouthCarolina,butimmenselysoin——IthinkhetoldmeitwasLongIsland。HisnameisPoinsettMiddletonManigaultJode。Heusedtoweighahundredandtwenty-eightpoundsthen,buthishealthhasstrengthenedinthatclimate。Hisclotheswereblack;hisfacewaswhite,withblackeyessharpasapin;hehadtheshapeofaspout——
thesamenarrowsizeallthewaydown——andhisvoicewasasdryandlightasanegg-shell。InhisfirstdaysatCheyennehehadconstantlychallengedlargecowboysfortakingfamiliaritieswithhisdignity,andthey,afteronemoment’sbewilderment,hadconcoctedapologiesthatentirelymethisexactions,andgavethemmuchsatisfactionalso。NobodywouldhavehurtJodefortheworld。IntimehecametoseethatWyomingwasagameinventedafterhisbookofruleswaspublished,andhelookedon,butcouldnotplaythegame。Hehadfallen,alongwithotherincongruities,intotheroaringWesternhotch-pot,andhepassedhiscareful,precisedayswithbarometersandweather-charts。
HeansweredtheGovernorwithofficialandSouthCarolinaimpressiveness。
“Thereisnoindicationofdiminutionoftheprevailingpressure,“hesaid。
“Well,that’swhatIthought,“saidthejoyousGovernor,“soI’mgoingtowhoopherup。“
“Whatdoyouexpecttowhoopup,sir?“
“Atmosphere,andallthat,“saidtheGovernor。“Wholebusinesshasgottogetamoveon。I’vesentforarain-maker。“
“Governor,youarecertainlyawag,sir,“saidJode,whoenjoyedBarkerassomepeopleenjoyasymphony,withoutunderstandingit。Butafterwehadreachedtheclubandwerelunching,andJoderealizedthataletterhadactuallybeenwrittentellingHilbruntocomeandbringhisshowerswithhim,thepunctilioussignal-serviceofficerstatedhisposition。
“Haveyourjoke,sir,“hesaid,wavingathin,cleanhand,“butIdeclinetomeethim。“
“Hilbrun?“saidtheGovernor,staring。
“Ifthat’shisname——yes,sir。AsamemberoftheWeatherBureauandtheMeteorologicalSocietyIcanhavenothingtodowiththefellow。“
“Glory!“saidtheGovernor。“Well,Isupposenot。Iseeyourpoint,Jode。
I’llbecarefultokeepyouapart。AsamemberoftheCollegeofPhysiciansI’vefeltthatwayabouthomeopathyandthefaith-cure。Allverywellifpatientswillcall’emin,butcan’tmeet’eminconsultation。Butthreemonths’droughtannually,Jode!It’sslow——tooslow。TheWesternpeoplefeelthatthisconservativemethodtheZodiacdoesitsbusinessbyisoutofdate。“
“Iamquiteserious,sir,“saidJode。“Andletmeexpressmygratificationthatyoudoseemypoint。“Sowechangedthesubject。
Ourweatherschemedidnotatfirstgreatlymovethepublic。Beyondthosewhomadeupthepurse,fewofouracquaintancesexpressedcuriosityaboutHilbrun,andnextafternoonLinMcLeantoldmeinthestreetthathewasdisgustedwithCheyenne’scoldnesstowardtheenterprise。“Buttheboyswouldflyrightatitandstaywithitiftheround-upwasneartown,youbet,“saidhe。
Hewaswalkingalone。“How’sMrs。McLeanto-day?“Iinquired。
“She’swell,“saidLin,turninghiseyefrommine。“Who’syourfriendallbuggedupinEnglishclothes?“
“Aboutasgoodamanasyou,“saidI,“andmorecautious。“
“Himandhiseye-glasses!“saidthescepticalpuncher,stilllookingawayfrommeandsurveyingOgden,whowasapproachingwiththeGovernor。Thatexcellentman,stillatlongrange,brokeoutsmilingtillhisteethshone,andhewavedayellowpaperatus。
“TelegramfromHilbrun,“heshouted;“behereto-morrow“;andhehastenedup。
“Sayshewantsacartatthedepot,andasmallbuildingwherehecanbeprivate,“addedOgden。“Great,isn’tit?“
“Youbet!“saidLin,brightening。TheNewYorker’surbanebutobviousexcitementmollifiedMr。McLean。“Everseenrainmade,Mr。Ogden?“saidhe。
“Never。Haveyou?“
Linhadnot。Ogdenofferedhimacigar,whichthepuncherpronouncedexcellent,andweallagreedtoseeHilbrunarrive。
“We’regoingtoshowthetelegramtoJode,“saidtheGovernor;andheandOgdendepartedonthismissiontothesignalservice。
“Well,Imustbegettingalongmyself,“saidLin;buthecontinuedwalkingslowlywithme。“Where’reyu’bound?“hesaid。
“Nowhereinparticular,“saidI。Andwepacedtheboardsidewalksalittlemore。
“You’regoingtomeetthetrainto-morrow?“saidhe。
“Thetrain?Ohyes。Hilbrun’s。To-morrow。You’llbethere?“
“Yes,I’llbethere。It’ssurebeenadryspell,ain’tit?“
“Yes。Justlikelastyear。Infact,likealltheyears。“
“Yes。I’veneversawitrainanytospeakofinsummer。Iexpectit’stherule。Don’tyou?“
“Ishouldn’twonder。“
“Idon’tguessanymanknowsenoughtobreaksucharule。Doyou?“
“No。Butit’llbefuntoseehimtry。“
“Surefun!Well,Imustbegettingalong。Seeyu’to-morrow。“
“Seeyouto-morrow,Lin。“
Heleftmeatacorner,andIstoodwatchinghistall,depressedfigure。
Ahundredyardsdownthestreetheturned,andseeingmelookingafterhim,pretendedhehadnotturned;andthenItookmystepstowardtheclub,tellingmyselfthatIhadbeensomethingofaskunk;forIhadinquiredforMrs。McLeaninacertaintone,andIhadhintedtoLinthathehadlackedcaution;andthiswasnothingbutawayofsaying“Itoldyouso“tothemanthatisdown。DownLincertainlywas,althoughithadnotcomesohometomeuntilourlittlewalktogetherjustnowalongtheboards。
AttheclubIfoundtheGovernorteachingOgdenaCheyennespecialty——aparticulardrink,theAllstoncocktail。“It’sthebittersthatdoesthetrick,“hewassaying,butsawmeandcalledout:“YououghttohavebeenwithusandseenJode。Ishowedhimthetelegram,youknow。Hereaditthrough,andjusthandeditbacktome,andwentonmonkeyingwithhisanemometer。Everseenhisinstruments?Everyfreshjiggertheygetouthesendsfor。Well,hemonkeyedaway,andwouldn’tsayaword,soIsaid,’Youunderstand,Jode,thistelegramcomesfromHilbrun。’AndJode,hequithisanemometerandsaid,’Imakenodoubt,sir,thatyourdespatchisgenuwine。’Oh,SouthCarolina’sindignantatme!“AndtheGovernorslappedhisknee。“Why,he’ssosetagainstHilbrun,“hecontinued,“I
guessifheknewofsomethinghecouldexplodetostoprainhe’dletherfly!“
“No,hewouldn’t,“saidI。“He’dnotconsiderthathonorable。“
“That’sso,“theGovernorassented。“Jode’llplayfair。“
Itwasthuswehadcometolookatourenterprise——agamebetweenawell-established,respectableweatherbureauandanupstartcharlatan。
Anditwasthecharlatanhadoursympathy——asallcharlatans,whetherreligious,military,medical,political,orwhatnot,havewiththeaverageAmerican。Wemethimatthestation。Thatis,Ogden,McLean,andI;andtheGovernor,beingengaged,sentunofficiallyhissecretaryandtherequestedcart。Linwasanxioustoseewhatwouldbeputinthecart,andIwascuriousabouthowarain-makerwouldlook。Butheturnedoutanunassuming,quietmaninblueserge,withafaceyoucouldnotrememberafterwards,andafewcivil,ordinaryremarks。Heevensaiditwasahotday,asifhehadnorelationswiththeweather;andwhatheputintothecartwereonlytwopacking-boxesofnospecialsignificancetotheeye。
Hedesirednolodgingatthehotel,buttosleepwithhisapparatusinthebuildingprovidedforhim;andwesetoutforitatonce。Itwasanuntenantedbarn,andheaskedthatheandhisassistantmightcutaholeintheroof,uponwhichwenoticedtheassistantforthefirsttime——atallish,good-lookingyoungman,butwithaweakmouth。“ThisisMr。
Lusk,“saidtherain-maker;andweshookhands,OgdenandIexchangingaglance。OurselvesandthecartmarchedupHillStreet——orCapitolAvenue,asithasbecomenamedsinceCheyennehasgrownfullerofpompandemptierofprosperity——andIthoughtwemadeanunusualprocession:theGovernor’ssecretary,unofficiallyleadingthewaytothebarn;thecart,andtherain-makerbesideit,guardinghispacked-upmysteries;McLeanandLusk,walkingtogetherinunconsciousbigamy;andintherear,Odgennudgingmeintheribs。ThatitwasthecorrectLuskwehadwithusI
feltsurefromhisincompetent,healthy,vacantappearance,strong-bodiedandshiftless——thesortofmantowearyofonetradeandanother,andmakeafailureofwifebeatingbetweenwhiles。InTwenty-fourthStreet——
thetown’suttermostrim——theGovernormetus,andstaredatLusk。
“Christopher!“washissingleobservation;butheneverforgetsaface——
cannotaffordto,nowthatheisinpolitics;and,besides,Luskrememberedhim。Youseldomreallyforgetamantowhomyouowetendollars。
“Soyou’vequithaulingpoles?“saidtheGovernor。
“Nothinginit,sir,“saidLusk。
“Isthereanyobjectiontomyhavingaholeintheroof?“askedtherain-maker;forthisthesecretaryhadbeenunabletotellhim。
“What!goingtothrowyourbombsthroughit?“saidtheGovernor,smilingheartily。
Buttherain-makerexplainedatoncethathiswasnotthebombsystem,butamethodattendedbymorerainandlessdisturbance。“Notthatthebombdon’tproducefirst-classresultsattimesandundercircumstances,“
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