Theartofmotherhoodinvolvesmuchsilent，unobtrusiveself-denial，anhourlydevotionwhichfindsnodetailtoominute。Thesoupwarmingbeforethefiremustbewatched。AmIthekindofwoman，doyousuppose，toshirksuchcares？Thehumblesttaskmayearnarichharvestofaffection。Howprettyisachild’slaughwhenhefindsthefoodtohisliking!Armandhasawayofnoddinghisheadwhenheispleasedthatisworthalifetimeofadoration。HowcouldIleavetoanyoneelsetheprivilegeanddelight，aswellastheresponsibility，ofblowingonthespoonfulofsoupwhichistoohotformylittleNais，mynurslingofsevenmonthsago，whostillremembersmybreast？
　　Whenanursehasallowedachildtoburnitstongueandlipswithscaldingfood，shetellsthemother，whohurriesuptoseewhatiswrong，thatthechildcriedfromhunger。Howcouldamothersleepinpeacewiththethoughtthatabreath，lesspurethanherown，hascooledherchild’sfood——themotherwhomNaturehasmadethedirectvehicleoffoodtoinfantlips。TominceachopforNais，whohasjustcutherlastteeth，andmixthemeat，cookedtoaturn，withpotatoes，isaworkofpatience，andtherearetimes，indeed，whennonebutamothercouldsucceedinmakinganimpatientchildgothroughwithitsmeal。
　　Nonumberofservants，then，andnoEnglishnursecandispenseamotherfromtakingthefieldinpersoninthatdailycontest，wheregentlenessaloneshouldgrapplewiththelittlegriefsandpainsofchildhood。Louise，thecareoftheseinnocentdarlingsisaworktoengagethewholesoul。Towhosehandandeyes，butone’sown，intrustthetaskoffeeding，dressing，andputtingtobed？Broadlyspeaking，acryingchildistheunanswerablecondemnationofmotherornurse，exceptwhenthecryistheoutcomeofnaturalpain。NowthatIhavetwotolookafterandathirdontheroad，theyoccupyallmythoughts。Evenyou，whomIlovesodearly，havebecomeamemorytome。
　　Myowndressingisnotalwayscompletedbytwoo’clock。Ihavenofaithinmotherswhoseroomsareinapple-pieorder，andwhothemselvesmighthavesteppedoutofabandbox。YesterdaywasoneofthoselovelydaysofearlyApril，andIwantedtotakemychildrenforawalk，whileIwasstillable——forthewarningbellisinmyears。
　　Suchanexpeditionisquiteanepictoamother!Onedreamsofitthenightbefore!Armandwasforthefirsttimetoputonalittleblackvelvetjacket，anewcollarwhichIhadworked，aScotchcapwiththeStuartcolorsandcock’sfeathers；Naiswastobeinwhiteandpink，withoneofthosedeliciouslittlebabycaps；forsheisababystill，thoughshewilllosethatprettytitleonthearrivaloftheimpatientyoungster，whomIcallmybeggar，forhewillhavetheportionofayoungerson。Yousee，Louise，thechildhasalreadyappearedtomeinavision，soIknowitisaboy。
　　Well，caps，collars，jackets，socks，daintylittleshoes，pinkgarters，themuslinfrockwithsilkembroidery，——allwaslaidoutonmybed。Thenthelittlebrownheadshadtobebrushed，twitteringmerrilyallthetimelikebirds，answeringeachother’scall。Armand’shairisincurls，whileNais’isbroughtforwardsoftlyontheforeheadasabordertothepink-and-whitecap。Thentheshoesarebuckled；andwhenthelittlebarelegsandwell-shodfeethavetrottedofftothenursery，whiletwoshiningfaces/clean/，Marycallsthem
　　andeyesablazewithlifepetitionmetostart，myheartbeatsfast。
　　Tolookonthechildrenwhomone’sownhandhasarrayed，thepureskinbrightlyveinedwithblue，thatonehasbathed，laved，andspongedanddeckedwithgaycolorsofsilkorvelvet——why，thereisnopoemcomesneartoit!Withwhateager，covetouslongingonecallsthembackforonemorekissonthosewhitenecks，which，intheirsimplecollars，theloveliestwomancannotrival。Eventhecoarsestlithographofsuchascenemakesamotherpause，andIfeastmyeyesdailyonthelivingpicture!
　　Onceoutofdoors，triumphantintheresultofmylabors，whileIwasadmiringtheprincelyairwithwhichlittleArmandhelpedbabytototteralongthepathyouknow，Isawacarriagecoming，andtriedtogetthemoutoftheway。Thechildrentumbledintoadirtypuddle，andlo!myworksofartareruined!Wehadtotakethembackandchangetheirthings。Itookthelittleoneinmyarms，neverthinkingofmyowndress，whichwasruined，whileMaryseizedArmand，andthecavalcadere-entered。Withacryingbabyandasoakedchild，whatmindhasamotherleftforherself？
　　Dinnertimearrives，andasaruleIhavedonenothing。Nowcomestheproblemwhichfacesmetwiceeveryday——howtosufficeinmyownpersonfortwochildren，putontheirbibs，turnuptheirsleeves，andgetthemtoeat。Inthemidstoftheseever-recurringcares，joys，andcatastrophes，theonlypersonneglectedinthehouseismyself。Ifthechildrenhavebeennaughty，oftenIdon’tgetridofmycurl-papersallday。Theirtempersrulemytoilet。AsthepriceofafewminutesinwhichIwriteyouthesehalf-dozenpages，Ihavehadtoletthemcutpicturesoutofmynovels，buildcastleswithbooks，chessmen，ormother-of-pearlcounters，andgiveNaismysilksandwoolstoarrangeinherownfashion，which，Iassureyou，issocomplicated，thatsheisentirelyabsorbedinit，andhasnotutteredaword。
　　YetIhavenothingtocomplainof。Mychildrenarebothstrongandindependent；theyamusethemselvesmoreeasilythenyouwouldthink。
　　Theyfinddelightineverything；aguardedlibertyisworthmanytoys。
　　Afewpebbles——pink，yellow，purple，andblack，smallshells，themysteriesofsand，areaworldofpleasuretothem。Theirwealthconsistsinpossessingamultitudeofsmallthings。IwatchArmandandfindhimtalkingtotheflowers，theflies，thechickens，andimitatingthem。Heisonfriendlytermswithinsects，andneverweariesofadmiringthem。Everythingwhichisonaminutescaleintereststhem。Armandisbeginningtoaskthe“why“ofeverythinghesees。HehascometoaskwhatIamsayingtohisgodmother，whomhelooksonasafairy。Strangehowchildrenhitthemark!
　　Alas!mysweet，Iwouldnotsaddenyouwiththetaleofmyjoys。Letmegiveyousomenotionofyourgodson’scharacter。Theotherdaywewerefollowedbyapoormanbegging——beggarssoonfindoutthatamotherwithherchildathersidecan’tresistthem。Armandhasnoideawhathungeris，andmoneyisasealedbooktohim；butIhavejustboughthimatrumpetwhichhadlongbeentheobjectofhisdesires。Hehelditouttotheoldmanwithakinglyair，saying：
　　“Here，takethis!“
　　Whatjoytheworldcangivewouldcomparewithsuchamoment？
　　“MayIkeepit？“saidthepoormantome。“Itoo，madame，havehadchildren，“headded，hardlynoticingthemoneyIputintohishand。
　　IshudderwhenIthinkthatArmandmustgotoschool，andthatIhaveonlythreeyearsandahalfmoretokeephimbyme。Theflowersthatblossominhissunnychildhoodwillfallbeforethescytheofapublicschoolsystem；hisgraciouswaysandbewitchingcandorwilllosetheirspontaneity。TheywillcutthecurlsthatIhavebrushedandsmoothedandkissedsooften!WhatwilltheydowiththethinkingbeingthatisArmand？
　　Andwhatofyou？Youtellmenothingofyourlife。AreyoustillinlovewithFelipe？For，asregardstheSaracen，Ihavenouneasiness。
　　Good-bye；Naishasjusthadatumble，andifIrunonlikethis，myletterwillbecomeavolume。
　　MME。DEMACUMERTOTHECOMTESSEDEL’ESTORADE
　　Mysweet，tenderRenee，youwillhavelearnedfromthepaperstheterriblecalamitywhichhasoverwhelmedme。Ihavenotbeenabletowriteyouevenaword。FortwentydaysIneverlefthisbedside；I
　　receivedhislastbreathandclosedhiseyes；Ikeptholywatchoverhimwiththepriestsandrepeatedtheprayersforthedead。ThecruelpangsIsufferedwereacceptedbymeasarightfulpunishment；andyet，whenIsawonhiscalmlipsthesmilewhichwashislastfarewelltome，howwasitpossibletobelievethatIhadcausedhisdeath!
　　Beitsoornot，heisgone，andIamleft。Toyou，whohaveknownusbothsowell，whatmoreneedIsay？Thesewordscontainall。Oh!I
　　wouldgivemyshareofHeaventoheartheflatteringtalethatmyprayershavepowertobringhimbacktolife!Toseehimagain，tohavehimoncemoremine，wereitonlyforasecond，wouldmeanthatI
　　coulddrawbreathagainwithoutmortalagony。Willyounotcomesoonandsoothemewithsuchpromises？Isnotyourlovestrongenoughtodeceiveme？
　　Butstay!itwasyouwhotoldmebeforehandthathewouldsufferthroughme。Wasitsoindeed？Yes，itistrue，Ihadnorighttohislove。Likeathief，Itookwhatwasnotmine，andmyfrenziedgrasphascrushedthelifeoutofmybliss。Themadnessisovernow，butI
　　feelthatIamalone。MercifulGod!whattortureofthedamnedcanexceedthemiseryinthatword？
　　Whentheytookhimawayfromme，Ilaydownonthesamebedandhopedtodie。Therewasbutadoorbetweenus，anditseemedtomeIhadstrengthtoforceit!But，alas!Iwastooyoungfordeath；andafterfortydays，duringwhich，withcruelcareandallthesorryinventionsofmedicalscience，theyslowlynursedmebacktolife，Ifindmyselfinthecountry，seatedbymywindow，surroundedwithlovelyflowers，whichhemadetobloomforme，gazingonthesamesplendidviewoverwhichhiseyeshavesooftenwandered，andwhichhewassoproudtohavediscovered，sinceitgavemepleasure。Ah!dearRenee，nowordscantellhownewsurroundingshurtwhentheheartisdead。Ishiveratthesightofthemoistearthinmygarden，fortheearthisavasttomb，anditisalmostasthoughIwalkedon/him/!WhenIfirstwentout，Itrembledwithfearandcouldnotmove。Itwassosadtoseehisflowers，andhenotthere!
　　MyfatherandmotherareinSpain。Youknowwhatmybrothersare，andyouyourselfaredetainedinthecountry。Butyouneednotbeuneasyaboutme；twoangelsofmercyflewtomyside。TheDucandtheDuchessedeSoriahastenedtotheirbrotherinhisillness，andhavebeeneverythingthatheartcouldwish。Thelastfewnightsbeforetheendfoundthethreeofusgathered，incalmandwordlessgrief，roundthebedwherethisgreatmanwasbreathinghislast，amanamongathousand，rareinanyage，headandshouldersabovetherestofusineverything。ThepatientresignationofmyFelipewasangelic。ThesightofhisbrotherandMariegavehimamoment’spleasureandeasingofhispain。
　　“Darling，“hesaidtomewiththesimplefranknesswhichneverdesertedhim，“IhadalmostgonefromlifewithoutleavingtoFernandtheBaronyofMacumer；Imustmakeanewwill。Mybrotherwillforgiveme；heknowswhatitistolove!“
　　Iowemylifetothecareofmybrother-in-lawandhiswife；theywanttocarrymeofftoSpain!
　　Ah!Renee，tonoonebutyoucanIspeakfreelyofmygrief。Asenseofmyownfaultsweighsmetotheground，andthereisabittersolaceinpouringthemouttoyou，poor，unheededCassandra。Theexactions，thepreposterousjealousy，thenaggingunrestofmypassionworehimtodeath。Mylovewasthemorefraughtwithdangerforhimbecausewehadboththesameexquisitelysensitivenature，wespokethesamelanguage，nothingwaslostonhim，andoftenthemockingshaft，socarelesslydischarged，wentstraighttohisheart。Youcanhavenoideaofthepointtowhichhecarriedsubmissiveness。Ihadonlytotellhimtogoandleavemealone，andthecaprice，howeverwoundingtohim，wouldbeobeyedwithoutamurmur。Hislastbreathwasspentinblessingmeandinrepeatingthatasinglemorningalonewithmewasmoreprecioustohimthanalifetimespentwithanotherwoman，weresheeventheMarieofhisyouth。MytearsfallasIwritethewords。
　　Thisisthemannerofmylifenow。Iriseatmiddayandgotobedatseven；Ilingerabsurdlylongovermeals；Isaunteraboutslowly，standingmotionless，anhouratatime，beforeasingleplant；Igazeintotheleafytrees；Itakeasoberandseriousinterestinmerenothings；Ilongforshade，silence，andnight；inaword，Ifightthrougheachhourasitcomes，andtakeagloomypleasureinaddingittotheheapofthevanquished。MypeacefulparkgivesmeallthecompanyIcarefor；everythingthereisfullofgloriousimagesofmyvanishedjoy，invisibleforothersbuteloquenttome。
　　“IcannotawaywithyouSpaniards!“Iexclaimedonemorning，asmysister-in-lawflungherselfonmyneck。“Youhavesomenobilitythatwelack。“
　　Ah!Renee，ifIstilllive，itisdoubtlessbecauseHeaventempersthesenseofafflictiontothestrengthofthosewhohavetobearit。Onlyawomancanknowwhatitistolosealovewhichsprangfromtheheartandwasgenuinethroughout，apassionwhichwasnotephemeral，andsatisfiedatoncethespiritandtheflesh。Howrareitistofindamansogiftedthattoworshiphimbringsnosenseofdegradation!Ifsuchsupremefortunebefallusonce，wecannothopeforitasecondtime。Menoftruegreatness，whosestrengthandworthareveiledbypoeticgrace，andwhocharmbysomehighspiritualpower，menmadetobeadored，bewareoflove!Lovewillruinyou，andruinthewomanofyourheart。ThisistheburdenofmycryasIpacemywoodlandwalks。
　　Andhehasleftmenochild!Thatlovesorichinsmiles，whichrainedperpetualflowersandjoy，hasleftnofruit。Iamathingaccursed。
　　Canitbethat，evenasthetwoextremesofpolariceandtorridsandarealikeintolerantoflife，sotheverypurityandvehemenceofasingle-heartedpassionrenderitbarrenashate？Isitonlyamarriageofreason，suchasyours，whichisblessedwithafamily？CanHeavenbejealousofourpassions？Therearewildwords。
　　Youare，Ibelieve，theonepersonwhosecompanyIcouldendure。Cometome，then；nonebutReneeshouldbewithLouiseinhersombregarb。
　　WhatadaywhenIfirstputonmywidow’sbonnet!WhenIsawmyselfallarrayedinblack，Ifellbackonaseatandwepttillnightcame；
　　andIweepagainasIrecallthatmomentofanguish。
　　Good-bye。Writingtiresme；thoughtscrowdfast，butIhavenohearttoputthemintowords。Bringyourchildren；youcannursebabyherewithoutmakingmejealous；allthatisgone，/he/isnothere，andI
　　shallbeverygladtoseemygodson。FelipeusedtowishforachildlikelittleArmand。Come，then，comeandhelpmetobearmywoe。