whereupon，layingherhandgentlyonhisshoulder，shesaid，inthepeculiarsoftandtendertonewhichIhadheardheruseonaformeroccasion，’Takecomfort，Peter；whathashappenednowtoafflictthee？’Peterremovedhishandfromhisface。’Theoldpain，theoldpain，’saidhe；’Iwastalkingwiththisyoungman，andhewouldfainknowwhatbroughtmehere，hewouldfainhearmytale，Winifred-mysin：OpechodYspryddGlan!OpechodYspryddGlan!’
　　andthepoormanfellintoamorefearfulagonythanbefore。TearstrickleddownWinifred’sface，Isawthemtricklingbythemoonlight，asshegazeduponthewrithingformofherafflictedhusband。Iarosefrommyseat。’Iamthecauseofallthis，’saidI，’bymyfollyandimprudence，anditisthusIhavereturnedyourkindnessandhospitality；Iwilldepartfromyouandwandermyway。’Iwasretiring，butPetersprangupanddetainedme。’Gonot，’saidhe，’youwerenotinfault；iftherebeanyfaultinthecaseitwasmine；ifIsuffer，Iambutpayingthepenaltyofmyowniniquity’；hethenpaused，andappearedtobeconsidering：atlengthhesaid，’Manythingswhichthouhastseenandheardconnectedwithmerequireexplanation；thouwishesttoknowmytale，Iwilltellitthee，butnotnow，notto-night；Iamtoomuchshaken。’
　　Twoeveningslater，whenwewereagainseatedbeneaththeoak，Petertookthehandofhiswifeinhisown，andthen，intonesbrokenandalmostinarticulate，commencedtellingmehistale-thetaleofthePechodYspryddGlan。
　　CHAPTERLXXV
　　Takingacup-Gettingtoheaven-Afterbreakfast-Woodengallery-Mechanicalhabit-Reservedandgloomy-Lastwords-A
　　longtime-Fromtheclouds-Rayofhope-Momentarychill-
　　Pleasinganticipation。
　　’IWASbornintheheartofNorthWales，thesonofarespectablefarmer，andamtheyoungestofsevenbrothers。
　　’MyfatherwasamemberoftheChurchofEngland，andwaswhatisgenerallycalledaseriousman。Hewenttochurchregularly，andreadtheBibleeverySundayevening；inhismomentsofleisurehewasfondofholdingreligiousdiscoursebothwithhisfamilyandhisneighbours。
　　’Oneautumnafternoon，onaweekday，myfathersatwithoneofhisneighbourstakingacupofalebytheoaktableinourstonekitchen。Isatnearthem，andlistenedtotheirdiscourse。Iwasatthattimesevenyearsofage。Theyweretalkingofreligiousmatters。“Itisahardmattertogettoheaven，“saidmyfather。
　　“Exceedinglyso，“saidtheother。“However，Idon’tdespond；noneneeddespairofgettingtoheaven，savethosewhohavecommittedthesinagainsttheHolyGhost。“
　　’“Ah!“saidmyfather，“thankGodInevercommittedthat-howawfulmustbethestateofapersonwhohascommittedthesinagainsttheHolyGhost。Icanscarcelythinkofitwithoutmyhairstandingonend“；andthenmyfatherandhisfriendbegantalkingofthenatureofthesinagainsttheHolyGhost，andIheardthemsaywhatitwas，asIsatwithgreedyearslisteningtotheirdiscourse。
　　’IlayawakethegreaterpartofthenightmusinguponwhatIhadheard。IkeptwonderingtomyselfwhatmustbethestateofapersonwhohadcommittedthesinagainsttheHolyGhost，andhowhemustfeel。OnceortwiceIfeltastronginclinationtocommitit，astrangekindoffear，however，preventedme；atlastIdeterminednottocommitit，and，havingsaidmyprayers，Ifellasleep。
　　’WhenIawokeinthemorningthefirstthingIthoughtofwasthemysterioussin，andavoicewithinmeseemedtosay，“Commitit“；
　　andIfeltastrongtemptationtodoso，evenstrongerthaninthenight。Iwasjustabouttoyield，whenthesamedread，ofwhichI
　　havealreadyspoken，cameoverme，and，springingoutofbed，I
　　wentdownonmyknees。Isleptinasmallroomalone，towhichI
　　ascendedbyawoodenstair，opentothesky。Ihaveoftenthoughtsincethatitisnotagoodthingforchildrentosleepalone。
　　’AfterbreakfastIwenttoschool，andendeavouredtoemploymyselfuponmytasks，butallinvain；IcouldthinkofnothingbutthesinagainsttheHolyGhost；myeyes，insteadofbeingfixeduponmybook，wanderedinvacancy。Mymasterobservedmyinattention，andchidme。Thetimecameforsayingmytask，andIhadnotacquiredit。Mymasterreproachedme，and，yetmore，hebeatme；Ifeltshameandanger，andIwenthomewithafulldeterminationtocommitthesinagainsttheHolyGhost。
　　’ButwhenIgothomemyfatherorderedmetodosomethingconnectedwiththefarm，sothatIwascompelledtoexertmyself；Iwasoccupiedtillnight，andwassobusythatIalmostforgotthesinandmylateresolution。Myworkcompleted，Itookmysupper，andwenttomyroom；Ibeganmyprayers，and，whentheywereended，I
　　thoughtofthesin，butthetemptationwasslight，Ifeltverytired，andwaspresentlyasleep。
　　’Thus，yousee，IhadplentyoftimeallottedmebyagraciousandkindGodtoreflectonwhatIwasabouttodo。Hedidnotpermittheenemyofsoulstotakemebysurprise，andtohurrymeatonceintothecommissionofthatwhichwastobemyruinhereandhereafter。WhateverIdidwasofmyownfreewill，afterIhadhadtimetoreflect。ThusGodisjustified；Hehadnohandinmydestruction，but，onthecontrary，Hedidallthatwascompatiblewithjusticetopreventit。Ihastentothefatalmoment。Awakinginthenight，Ideterminedthatnothingshouldpreventmycommittingthesin。Arisingfrommybed，Iwentoutuponthewoodengallery；andhavingstoodforafewmomentslookingatthestars，withwhichtheheavenswerethicklystrewn，Ilaidmyselfdown，andsupportingmyfacewithmyhand，Imurmuredoutwordsofhorror，wordsnottoberepeated，andinthismannerIcommittedthesinagainsttheHolyGhost。
　　’WhenthewordswereutteredIsatupuponthetopmoststepofthegallery；forsometimeIfeltstunnedinsomewhatthesamemannerasIoncesubsequentlyfeltafterbeingstungbyanadder。Isoonarose，however，andretiredtomybed，where，notwithstandingwhatIhaddone，Iwasnotslowinfallingasleep。
　　’Iawokeseveraltimesduringthenight，eachtimewiththedimideathatsomethingstrangeandmonstroushadoccurred，butI
　　presentlyfellasleepagain；inthemorningIawokewiththesamevaguefeeling，butpresentlyrecollectionreturned，andI
　　rememberedthatIhadcommittedthesinagainsttheHolyGhost。I
　　laymusingforsometimeonwhatIhaddone，andIfeltratherstunned，asbefore；atlastIaroseandgotoutofbed，dressedmyself，andthenwentdownonmyknees，andwasabouttoprayfromtheforceofmechanicalhabit；beforeIsaidaword，however，I
　　recollectedmyself，andgotupagain。Whatwastheuseofpraying？
　　Ithought；IhadcommittedthesinagainsttheHolyGhost。
　　’Iwenttoschool，butsatstupefied。Iwasagainchidden，againbeaten，bymymaster。Ifeltnoangerthistime，andscarcelyheededthestrokes。Ilooked，however，atmymaster’sface，andthoughttomyself，youarebeatingmeforbeingidle，asyousuppose；poorman，whatwouldyoudoifyouknewIhadcommittedthesinagainsttheHolyGhost？
　　’Daysandweekspassedby。Ihadoncebeencheerful，andfondofthesocietyofchildrenofmyownage；butIwasnowreservedandgloomy。Itseemedtomethatagulfseparatedmefromallmyfellow-creatures。Iusedtolookatmybrothersandschoolfellows，andthinkhowdifferentIwasfromthem；theyhadnotdonewhatI
　　had。Iseemed，inmyowneyes，alonemonstrousbeing，andyet，strangetosay，Ifeltakindofprideinbeingso。Iwasunhappy，butIfrequentlythoughttomyself，Ihavedonewhatnooneelsewoulddaretodo；therewassomethinggrandintheidea；Ihadyettolearnthehorrorofmycondition。
　　’Timepassedon，andIbegantothinklessofwhatIhaddone；I
　　beganoncemoretotakepleasureinmychildishsports；Iwasactive，andexcelledatfootballandthelikealltheladsofmyage。Ilikewisebegan，whatIhadneverdonebefore，totakepleasureintheexercisesoftheschool。ImadegreatprogressinWelshandEnglishgrammar，andlearnttoconstrueLatin。Mymasternolongerchidorbeatme，butonedaytoldmyfatherthathehadnodoubtthatonedayIshouldbeanhonourtoWales。
　　’Shortlyafterthismyfatherfellsick；theprogressofthedisorderwasrapid；feelinghisendapproaching，hecalledhischildrenbeforehim。Aftertenderlyembracingus，hesaid“Godblessyou，mychildren，Iamgoingfromyou，buttakecomfort，I
　　trustthatweshallallmeetagaininheaven。’
　　’Asheutteredtheselastwords，horrortookentirepossessionofme。Meetmyfatherinheaven，-howcouldIeverhopetomeethimthere？Ilookedwildlyatmybrethrenandatmymother；theywereallbathedintears，buthowIenviedthem。Theymighthopetomeetmyfatherinheaven，buthowdifferentweretheyfromme，theyhadnevercommittedtheunpardonablesin。
　　’Inafewdaysmyfatherdied；helefthisfamilyincomfortablecircumstances，atleastsuchaswouldbeconsideredsoinWales，wherethewantsofthepeoplearefew。Myelderbrothercarriedonthefarmforthebenefitofmymotherandusall。Incourseoftimemybrotherswereputouttovarioustrades。Istillremainedatschool，butwithoutbeingasourceofexpensetomyrelations，asIwasbythistimeabletoassistmymasterinthebusinessoftheschool。
　　’Iwasdiligentbothinself-improvementandintheinstructionofothers；nevertheless，ahorribleweightpresseduponmybreast；I
　　knewIwasalostbeing；thatformetherewasnohope；that，thoughallothersmightbesaved，Imustofnecessitybelost；I
　　hadcommittedtheunpardonablesin，forwhichIwasdoomedtoeternalpunishment，intheflaminggulf，assoonaslifewasover!-
　　andhowlongcouldIhopetolive？perhapsfiftyyears；attheendofwhichImustgotomyplace；andthenIwouldcountthemonthsandthedays，nay，eventhehours，whichyetintervenedbetweenmeandmydoom。SometimesIwouldcomfortmyselfwiththeideathatalongtimewouldelapsebeforemytimewouldbeout；butthenagainIthoughtthat，howeverlongthetermmightbe，itmustbeoutatlast；andthenIwouldfallintoanagony，duringwhichI
　　wouldalmostwishthatthetermwereout，andthatIwereinmyplace；thehorrorsofwhichIthoughtcouldscarcelybeworsethanwhatIthenendured。
　　’Therewasonethoughtaboutthistimewhichcausedmeunutterablegriefandshame，perhapsmoreshamethangrief。Itwasthatmyfather，whowasgonetoheaven，andwastheredailyholdingcommunionwithhisGod，wasbythistimeawareofmycrime。I
　　imaginedhimlookingdownfromthecloudsuponhiswretchedson，withacountenanceofinexpressiblehorror。Whenthisideawasuponme，Iwouldoftenrushtosomesecretplacetohidemyself；tosomethicket，whereIwouldcastmyselfontheground，andthrustmyheadintoathickbush，inordertoescapefromthehorror-
　　struckglanceofmyfatheraboveintheclouds；andthereIwouldcontinuegroaningtilltheagonyhad，insomedegree，passedaway。
　　’Thewretchednessofmystateincreasingdaily，itatlastbecameapparenttothemasteroftheschool，whoquestionedmeearnestlyandaffectionately。I，however，gavehimnosatisfactoryanswer，beingapprehensivethat，ifIunbosomedmyself，IshouldbecomeasmuchanobjectofhorrortohimasIhadlongbeentomyself。AtlengthhesuspectedthatIwasunsettledinmyintellects；and，fearingprobablytheilleffectofmypresenceuponhisscholars，headvisedmetogohome；whichIwasgladtodo，asIfeltmyselfeverydaybecominglessqualifiedforthedutiesoftheofficewhichIhadundertaken。
　　’SoIreturnedhometomymotherandmybrother，whoreceivedmewiththegreatestkindnessandaffection。Inowdeterminedtodevotemyselftohusbandry，andassistmybrotherinthebusinessofthefarm。Iwasstill，however，verymuchdistressed。Onefinemorning，however，asIwasatworkinthefield，andthebirdswerecarollingaroundme，arayofhopebegantobreakuponmypoordarksoul。Ilookedattheearthandlookedatthesky，andfeltasI