Lords,squires,andcockneysmaypassaway,butatimewillscarcelycomewhenChildeHaroldandthatodewillbeforgotten。
Hewasapoet,afterall,andhemusthaveknownit;arealpoet,equalto-to-whatadestiny!Rank,beauty,fashion,immortality,-hecouldnotbeunhappy;whatadifferenceinthefateofmen-IwishIcouldthinkhewasunhappy……
Iturnedaway。
’Greatpoet,sir,’saidthedapperman,turningawaytoo,’butunhappy-fateofgenius,sir;I,too,amfrequentlyunhappy。’
Hurryingdownastreettotheright,IencounteredFrancisArdry。
’Whatmeansthemultitudeyonder?’hedemanded。
’TheyarelookingafterthehearsewhichiscarryingtheremainsofByronupTottenhamRoad。’
’Ihaveseentheman,’saidmyfriend,asheturnedbackthewayhehadcome,’soIcandispensewithseeingthehearse-IsawthelivingmanatVenice-ah,agreatpoet。’
’Yes,’saidI,’agreatpoet,itmustbeso,everybodysaysso-
whatadestiny!Whatadifferenceinthefateofmen;but’tissaidhewasunhappy;youhaveseenhim,howdidhelook?’
’Oh,beautiful!’
’Butdidhelookhappy?’
’Why,Ican’tsayhelookedveryunhappy;Isawhimwithtwo……
veryfairladies;butwhatisittoyouwhetherthemanwasunhappyornot?Come,whereshallwego-toJoey’s?Hishugestbear-’
’Oh,Ihavehadenoughofbears,Ihavejustbeenworriedbyone。’
’Thepublisher?’
’Yes。’
’ThencometoJoey’s,threedogsaretobelaunchedathisbear:
astheypinhim,imaginehimtobethepublisher。’
’No,’saidI,’Iamgoodfornothing;IthinkIshallstrolltoLondonBridge。’
’That’stoofarforme-farewell。’
CHAPTERXL
LondonBridge-Whynot?-Everyhearthasitsbitters-Wickedboys-Givememybook-Suchafright-Honourbright。
SOIwenttoLondonBridge,andagaintookmystationonthespotbytheboothwhereIhadstoodontheformeroccasion。Thebooth,however,wasempty;neithertheapple-womannorherstallwastobeseen。Ilookedoverthebalustradeupontheriver;thetidewasnow,asbefore,rollingbeneaththearchwithfrightfulimpetuosity。AsIgazedupontheeddiesofthewhirlpool,I
thoughtwithinmyselfhowsoonhumanlifewouldbecomeextinctthere;aplunge,aconvulsiveflounder,andallwouldbeover。
WhenIlaststoodoverthatabyssIhadfeltakindofimpulse-afascination;Ihadresistedit-Ididnotplungeintoit。AtpresentIfeltakindofimpulsetoplunge;buttheimpulsewasofadifferentkind;itproceededfromaloathingoflife,Ilookedwistfullyattheeddies-whathadItolivefor?-what,indeed!
IthoughtofBrandtandStruensee,andYeomanPatch-shouldI
yieldtotheimpulse-whynot?Myeyeswerefixedontheeddies。
AllofasuddenIshuddered;IthoughtIsawheadsinthepool;
humanbodieswallowingconfusedly;eyesturneduptoheavenwithhopelesshorror;wasthatwateror-?Wherewastheimpulsenow?
Iraisedmyeyesfromthepool,Ilookednomoreuponit-Ilookedforward,fardownthestreaminthefardistance。’Ha!whatisthat?IthoughtIsawakindofFataMorgana,greenmeadows,wavinggroves,arustichome;butinthefardistance-Istared-
Istared-aFataMorgana-itwasgone……“
Ileftthebalustradeandwalkedtothefartherendofthebridge,whereIstoodforsometimecontemplatingthecrowd;Ithenpassedovertotheothersidewithanintentionofreturninghome;justhalf-wayoverthebridge,inaboothimmediatelyoppositetotheoneinwhichIhadformerlybeheldher,satmyfriend,theoldapple-woman,huddledupbehindherstall。
’Well,mother,’saidI,’howareyou?’Theoldwomanliftedherheadwithastartledlook。
’Don’tyouknowme?’saidI。
’Yes,IthinkIdo。Ah,yes,’saidshe,asherfeaturesbeamedwithrecollection,’Iknowyou,dear;youaretheyoungladthatgavemethetanner。Well,child,gotanythingtosell?’
’Nothingatall,’saidI。
’Badluck?’
’Yes,’saidI,’badenough,andillusage。’
’Ah,Isupposetheycaughtye;well,child,nevermind,betterlucknexttime;Iamgladtoseeyou。’
’Thankyou,’saidI,sittingdownonthestonebench;’Ithoughtyouhadleftthebridge-whyhaveyouchangedyourside?’
Theoldwomanshook。
’Whatisthematterwithyou,’saidI;’areyouill?’
’No,child,no;only-’
’Onlywhat?Anybadnewsofyourson?’
’No,child,no;nothingaboutmyson。Onlylow,child-everyhearthasitsbitters。’
’That’strue,’saidI;’well,Idon’twanttoknowyoursorrows;
come,where’sthebook?’
Theapple-womanshookmoreviolentlythanbefore,bentherselfdown,anddrewhercloakmorecloselyaboutherthanbefore。
’Book,child,whatbook?’
’Why,blessedMary,tobesure。’
’Oh,that;Iha’n’tgotit,child-Ihavelostit,haveleftitathome。’
’Lostit,’saidI;’leftitathome-whatdoyoumean?Come,letmehaveit。’
’Iha’n’tgotit,child。’
’Ibelieveyouhavegotitunderyourcloak。’
’Don’ttellanyone,dear;don’t-don’t,’andtheapple-womanburstintotears。
’What’sthematterwithyou?’saidI,staringather。
’Youwanttotakemybookfromme?’
’NotI,Icarenothingaboutit;keepit,ifyoulike,onlytellmewhat’sthematter?’
’Why,allaboutthatbook。’
’Thebook?’
’Yes,theywantedtotakeitfromme。’
’Whodid?’
’Why,somewickedboys。I’lltellyouallaboutit。Eightortendaysago,Isatbehindmystall,readingmybook;allofasuddenI
feltitsnatchedfrommyhand,upIstarted,andseethreerascalsofboysgrinningatme;oneofthemheldthebookinhishand。
“Whatbookisthis?“saidhe,grinningatit。“Whatdoyouwantwithmybook?“saidI,clutchingatitovermystall;“givememybook。““Whatdoyouwantabookfor?“saidhe,holdingitback;“I
haveagoodmindtoflingitintotheThames。““Givememybook,“
Ishrieked;and,snatchingatit,Ifellovermystall,andallmyfruitwasscatteredabout。Offrantheboys-offrantherascalwithmybook。Ohdear,IthoughtIshouldhavedied;upIgot,however,andranafterthemaswellasIcould;Ithoughtofmyfruit,butIthoughtmoreofmybook。Ileftmyfruitandranaftermybook。“Mybook!mybook!“Ishrieked,“murder!theft!
robbery!“Iwasnearbeingcrushedunderthewheelsofacart;butIdidn’tcare-Ifollowedtherascals。“Stopthem!stopthem!“I
rannearlyasfastasthey-theycouldn’trunveryfastonaccountofthecrowd。Atlastsomeonestoppedtherascal,whereuponheturnedround,andflingingthebookatme,itfellintothemud;
well,Ipickeditupandkissedit,allmuddyasitwas。“Hasherobbedyou?“saidtheman。“Robbedme,indeed;whyhehadgotmybook。““Oh,yourbook,“saidtheman,andlaughed,andlettherascalgo。Ah,hemightlaugh,but-’
’Well,goon。’
第49章