hairedconfederatehadtaughtthemandshownthematRome,thepooryoungladieshadbecomequitehandmaidsofsuperstition,sothatthey,especiallytheyoungest,werepreparedtobowdowntoanything,andkissanything,howevervileandugly,providedapriestcommandedthem;andasfortheoldgovernor,whatwiththeinfluencewhichhisdaughtersexerted,andwhatwiththeascendencywhichthered-hairedmanhadobtainedoverhim,hedarednotsayhispurse,farlesshissoul,washisown。OnlythinkofanEnglishmannotbeingmasterofhisownpurse!Myacquaintance,thelady’smaid,assuredmethat,tohercertainknowledge,hehaddisbursedtothered-hairedman,forpurposesofcharity,asitwassaid,atleastonethousandpoundsduringthefiveweekswehadbeenatRome。Shealsotoldmethatthingswouldshortlybebroughttoaconclusion-andsoindeedtheywere,thoughinadifferentmannerfromwhatsheandIandsomeotherpeopleimagined;thattherewastobeagrandfestival,andamass,atwhichweweretobepresent,afterwhichthefamilyweretobepresentedtotheHolyFather,forsothosetwopriestlysharkshadmanagedit;andthen……shesaidshewascertainthatthetwoladies,andperhapstheoldgovernor,wouldforsakethereligionoftheirnativeland,takingupwiththatoftheseforeignregions,forsomyfellow-servantexpressedit,andthatperhapsattemptsmightbemadetoinduceuspoorEnglishservantstotakeupwiththeforeignreligion,thatisherselfandme,forasforourfellow-servant,theothermaid,shewantednoinducing,beingdisposedbodyandsoultogoovertoit。WhereuponIsworewithanoaththatnothingshouldinducemetotakeupwiththeforeignreligion;andthepoormaid,myfellow-servant,burstingintotears,saidthatforherpartshewoulddiesoonerthanhaveanythingtodowithit;thereuponweshookhandsandagreedtostandbyandcountenanceoneanother:andmoreover,providedourgovernorswerefoolsenoughtogoovertothereligionofthesehereforeigners,wewouldnotwaittobeaskedtodothelike,butleavethematonce,andmakethebestofourwayhome,evenifwewereforcedtobegontheroad。
’Atlastthedayofthegrandfestivalcame,andwewerealltogotothebigchurchtohearthemass。NowithappenedthatforsometimepastIhadbeenmuchafflictedwithmelancholy,especiallywhenIgotupofamorning,producedbythestrangemannerinwhichIsawthingsgoingoninourfamily;andtodispelitinsomedegree,Ihadbeeninthehabitoftakingadrambeforebreakfast。
Onthemorninginquestion,feelingparticularlylowspiritedwhenIthoughtofthefoolishstepourgovernorwouldprobablytakebeforeevening,Itooktwodramsbeforebreakfast;andafterbreakfast,feelingmymelancholystillcontinuing,Itookanother,whichproducedaslighteffectuponmyhead,thoughIamconvincednobodyobservedit。
’Awaywedrovetothebigchurch;itwasadarkmistyday,I
remember,andverycold,sothatifanybodyhadnoticedmybeingslightlyinliquor,IcouldhaveexcusedmyselfbysayingthatI
hadmerelytakenaglasstofortifymyconstitutionagainsttheweather;andofonethingIamcertain,whichis,thatsuchanexcusewouldhavestoodmeinsteadwithourgovernor,wholooked,Ithought,asifhehadtakenonetoo;butImaybemistaken,andwhyshouldInoticehim,seeingthathetooknonoticeofme?soawaywedrovetothebigchurch,towhichallthepopulationoftheplaceappearedtobemoving。
’Onarrivingtherewedismounted,andthetwopriests,whowerewithus,ledthefamilyin,whilstIfollowedatalittledistance,butquicklylostthemamidstthethrongofpeople。Imademyway,however,thoughinwhatdirectionIknewnot,exceptitwasoneinwhicheverybodyseemedstriving,andbydintofelbowingandpushingIatlastgottoaplacewhichlookedliketheaisleofacathedral,wherethepeoplestoodintworows,aspacebetweenbeingkeptopenbycertainstrangely-dressedmenwhomovedupanddownwithrodsintheirhands;allwerelookingtotheupperendofthisplaceoraisle;andattheupperend,separatedfromthepeoplebypalingslikethoseofanaltar,satinmagnificent-
lookingstalls,ontherightandtheleft,variouswonderful-
lookingindividualsinscarletdresses。Atthefartherendwaswhatappearedtobeanaltar,onthelefthandwasapulpit,andontherightastallhigherthananyoftherest,wherewasafigurewhomIcouldscarcelysee。
’Ican’tpretendtodescribewhatIsawexactly,formyhead,whichwasatfirstratherflurried,hadbecomemoresofromtheeffortswhichIhadmadetogetthroughthecrowd;alsofromcertainsinging,whichproceededfromIknownotwhere;and,aboveall,fromtheburstsofanorgan,whichwereoccasionallysoloudthatI
thoughttheroof,whichwaspaintedwithwondrouscolours,wouldcometopplingdownonthosebelow。SotherestoodI-apoorEnglishservant-inthatoutlandishplace,inthemidstofthatforeigncrowd,lookingatthatoutlandishsight,hearingthoseoutlandishsounds,andoccasionallyglancingatourparty,which,bythistime,IdistinguishedattheoppositesidetowhereI
stood,butmuchnearertheplacewheretheredfiguressat。Yes,therestoodourpoorgovernorandthesweetyoungladies,andI
thoughttheyneverlookedsohandsomebefore;andclosebythemwerethesharkingpriests,andnotfarfromthemwasthatidioticalparsonPlatitude,winkingandgrinning,andoccasionallyliftinguphishandsasifinecstasyatwhathesawandheard,sothathedrewuponhimselfthenoticeofthecongregation。
’Andnowanindividualmountedthepulpit,andbegantopreachinalanguagewhichIdidnotunderstand,butwhichIbelievetobeLatin,addressinghimselfseeminglytothefigureinthestall;andwhenhehadceased,therewasmoresinging,moreorgan-playing,andthentwomeninrobesbroughtforthtwothingswhichtheyheldup;
andthenthepeoplebowedtheirheads,andourpoorgovernorbowedhishead,andthesweetyoungladiesbowedtheirheads,andthesharkingpriests,whilsttheidioticalparsonPlatitudetriedtoflinghimselfdown;andthentherewerevariousevolutionswithinsidethepale,andthescarletfiguresgotupandsatdown;
andthiskindofthingcontinuedforsometime。AtlengththefigurewhichIhadseenintheprincipalstallcameforthandadvancedtowardsthepeople;anawfulfigurehewas,ahugeoldmanwithasugar-loafhat,withasulphur-coloureddress,andholdingacrookinhishandlikethatofashepherd;andasheadvancedthepeoplefellontheirknees,ourpooroldgovernoramongstthem;thesweetyoungladies,thesharkingpriests,theidioticalparsonPlatitude,allfellontheirknees,andsomebodyorothertriedtopullmeonmyknees;butbythistimeIhadbecomeoutrageous;allthatmypoorbrotherusedtotellmeofthesuperstitionsofthehighBarbaryshorerushedintomymind,andIthoughttheywereactingthemoverhere;aboveall,theideathatthesweetyoungladies,tosaynothingofmypooroldgovernor,were,aftertheconclusionofallthismummery,goingtodeliverthemselvesupbodyandsoulintothepowerofthathorrid-lookingoldman,maddenedme,and,rushingforwardintotheopenspace,Iconfrontedthehorrible-lookingoldfigurewiththesugar-loafhat,thesulphur-
colouredgarments,andshepherd’scrook,andshakingmyfistathisnose,IbellowedoutinEnglish-
’“Idon’tcareforyou,oldMumboJumbo,thoughyouhavefetish!“
’Icanscarcelytellyouwhatoccurredforsometime。Ihaveadimrecollectionthathandswerelaiduponme,andthatIstruckoutviolentlyleftandright。Oncomingtomyself,Iwasseatedonastonebenchinalargeroom,somethinglikeaguard-room,inthecustodyofcertainfellowsdressedlikeMerry-andrews;theywerebluff,good-looking,wholesomefellows,verydifferentfromthesallowItalians:theywerelookingatmeattentively,andoccasionallytalkingtoeachotherinalanguagewhichsoundedverylikethecrackingofwalnutsinthemouth,verydifferentfromcooingItalian。AtlastoneofthemaskedmeinItalianwhathadailedme,towhichIreplied,inanincoherentmanner,somethingaboutMumboJumbo;whereuponthefellow,oneofthebluffestofthelot,ajovialrosy-facedrascal,lifteduphisrighthand,placingitinsuchamannerthatthelipswerebetweenthefore-fingerandthumb,thenliftinguphisrightfootanddrawingbackhishead,hesuckedinhisbreathwithahissingsound,asiftoimitateonedrinkingaheartydraught,andthenslappedmeontheshoulder,sayingsomethingwhichsoundedlikegootwine,gootcompanion,whereupontheyalllaughed,exclaiming,ya,ya,gootcompanion。
Andnowhurriedintotheroomourpooroldgovernor,withthered-
hairedpriest。Thefirstaskedwhatcouldhaveinducedmetobehaveinsuchamannerinsuchaplace,towhichIrepliedthatI
wasnotgoingtobowdowntoMumboJumbo,whateverotherpeoplemightdo。WhereuponmymastersaidhebelievedIwasmad,andthepriestsaidhebelievedIwasdrunk;towhichIansweredthatIwasneithersomadnordrunkbutIcoulddistinguishhowthewindlay。
Whereupontheyleftme,andinalittletimeIwastoldbythebluff-lookingMerry-andrewsIwasatlibertytodepart。Ibelievethepriest,inordertopleasemygovernor,intercededformeinhighquarters。
’Butonegoodresultedfromthisaffair;therewasnopresentationofourfamilytotheHolyFather,foroldMumbowassofrightenedbymyoutrageouslooksthathewaslaidupforaweek,asIwasafterwardsinformed。
’Iwenthome,andhadscarcelybeentherehalfanhourwhenIwassentforbythegovernor,whoagainreferredtothesceneinchurch,saidthathecouldnottoleratesuchscandalousbehaviour,andthatunlessIpromisedtobemorecircumspectinfuture,heshouldbecompelledtodischargeme。Isaidthatifhewasscandalisedatmybehaviourinthechurch,IwasmorescandalisedatallIsawgoingoninthefamily,whichwasgovernedbytworascallypriests,who,notcontentwithplunderinghim,appearedbentonhurryingthesoulsofusalltodestruction;andthatwithrespecttodischargingme,hecoulddosothatmoment,asIwishedtogo。IbelievehisownreasontoldhimthatIwasright,forhemadenodirectanswer,but,afterlookingonthegroundforsometime,hetoldmetoleavehim。Ashedidnottellmetoleavethehouse,Iwenttomyroom,intendingtoliedownforanhourortwo;
butscarcelywasItherewhenthedooropened,andincamethered-
hairedpriest。Heshowedhimself,ashealwaysdid,perfectlycivil,askedmehowIwas,tookachairandsatdown。AfterahemortwoheenteredintoalongconversationontheexcellenceofwhathecalledtheCatholicreligion;toldmethathehopedIwouldnotsetmyselfagainstthelight,andlikewiseagainstmyinterest;
forthatthefamilywereabouttoembracetheCatholicreligion,andwouldmakeitworthmywhiletofollowtheirexample。Itoldhimthatthefamilymightdowhattheypleased,butthatIwouldneverforsakethereligionofmycountryforanyconsiderationwhatever;thatIwasnothingbutapoorservant,butIwasnottobeboughtbybasegold。“Iadmireyourhonourablefeelings,“saidhe,“youshallhavenogold;andasIseeyouareafellowofspirit,anddonotlikebeingaservant,forwhichIcommendyou,I
canpromiseyousomethingbetter。Ihaveagooddealofinfluenceinthisplace,andifyouwillnotsetyourfaceagainstthelight,butembracetheCatholicreligion,Iwillundertaketomakeyourfortune。Yourememberthosefinefellowsto-daywhotookyouintocustody,theyaretheguardsofhisHoliness。IhavenodoubtthatIhaveinterestenoughtoprocureyourenrolmentamongstthem。“
“What,“saidI,“becomeswashbucklertoMumboJumbouphere!MayI……“-andhereIswore-“ifIdo。ThemerepossibilityofoneoftheirchildrenbeingswashbucklertoMumboJumboonthehighBarbaryshorehasalwaysbeenasourceofheart-breakingtomypoorparents。What,then,wouldtheynotundergo,iftheyknewforcertainthattheirotherchildwasswashbucklertoMumboJumbouphere?“Thereuponheaskedme,evenasyoudidsometimeago,whatImeantbyMumboJumbo。AndItoldhimallIhadheardabouttheMumboJumboofthehighBarbaryshore;tellinghimthatIhadnodoubtthattheoldfellowupherewashisbrother,ornearlyrelatedtohim。ThemanwiththeredhairlistenedwiththegreatestattentiontoallIsaid,andwhenIhadconcluded,hegotup,noddedtome,andmovedtothedoor;erehereachedthedoorI
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