TheChatterleys,twobrothersandasister,hadlivedcuriouslyisolated,shutinwithoneanotheratWragby,inspiteofalltheirconnexions。A
senseofisolationintensifiedthefamilytie,asenseoftheweaknessoftheirposition,asenseofdefencelessness,inspiteof,orbecauseof,thetitleandtheland。TheywerecutofffromthoseindustrialMidlandsinwhichtheypassedtheirlives。Andtheywerecutofffromtheirownclassbythebrooding,obstinate,shut-upnatureofSirGeoffrey,theirfather,whomtheyridiculed,butwhomtheyweresosensitiveabout。
Thethreehadsaidtheywouldalllivetogetheralways。ButnowHerbertwasdead,andSirGeoffreywantedCliffordtomarry。SirGeoffreybarelymentionedit:hespokeverylittle。Buthissilent,broodinginsistencethatitshouldbesowashardforCliffordtobearupagainst。
ButEmmasaidNo!ShewastenyearsolderthanClifford,andshefelthismarryingwouldbeadesertionandabetrayalofwhattheyoungonesofthefamilyhadstoodfor。
CliffordmarriedConnie,nevertheless,andhadhismonth’shoneymoonwithher。Itwastheterribleyear1917,andtheywereintimateastwopeoplewhostandtogetheronasinkingship。Hehadbeenvirginwhenhemarried:andthesexpartdidnotmeanmuchtohim。Theyweresoclose,heandshe,apartfromthat。AndConnieexultedalittleinthisintimacywhichwasbeyondsex,andbeyondaman’s`satisfaction`。Cliffordanyhowwasnotjustkeenonhis`satisfaction’,assomanymenseemedtobe。No,theintimacywasdeeper,morepersonalthanthat。Andsexwasmerelyanaccident,oranadjunct,oneofthecuriousobsolete,organicprocesseswhichpersistedinitsownclumsiness,butwasnotreallynecessary。ThoughConniedidwantchildren:ifonlytofortifyheragainsthersister-in-lawEmma。
Butearlyin1918Cliffordwasshippedhomesmashed,andtherewasnochild。AndSirGeoffreydiedofchagrin。
Chapter2
ConnieandCliffordcamehometoWragbyintheautumnof1920。MissChatterley,stilldisgustedatherbrother’sdefection,haddepartedandwaslivinginalittleflatinLondon。
Wragbywasalonglowoldhouseinbrownstone,begunaboutthemiddleoftheeighteenthcentury,andaddedonto,tillitwasawarrenofaplacewithoutmuchdistinction。Itstoodonaneminenceinaratherlineoldparkofoaktrees,butalas,onecouldseeintheneardistancethechimneyofTevershallpit,withitscloudsofsteamandsmoke,andonthedamp,hazydistanceofthehilltherawstraggleofTevershallvillage,avillagewhichbeganalmostattheparkgates,andtrailedinutterhopelessuglinessforalongandgruesomemile:houses,rowsofwretched,small,begrimed,brickhouses,withblackslateroofsforlids,sharpanglesandwilful,blankdreariness。
ConniewasaccustomedtoKensingtonortheScotchhillsortheSussexdowns:thatwasherEngland。Withthestoicismoftheyoungshetookintheutter,soullessuglinessofthecoal-and-ironMidlandsataglance,andleftitatwhatitwas:unbelievableandnottobethoughtabout。FromtheratherdismalroomsatWragbysheheardtherattle-rattleofthescreensatthepit,thepuffofthewinding-engine,theclink-clinkofshuntingtrucks,andthehoarselittlewhistleofthecollierylocomotives。Tevershallpit-bankwasburning,hadbeenburningforyears,anditwouldcostthousandstoputitout。Soithadtoburn。Andwhenthewindwasthatway,whichwasoften,thehousewasfullofthestenchofthissulphurouscombustionoftheearth’sexcrement。Butevenonwindlessdaystheairalwayssmeltofsomethingunder-earth:sulphur,iron,coal,oracid。AndevenontheChristmasrosesthesmutssettledpersistently,incredible,likeblackmannafromtheskiesofdoom。
Well,thereitwas:fatedliketherestofthings!Itwasratherawful,butwhykick?Youcouldn’tkickitaway。Itjustwenton。Life,likealltherest!Onthelowdarkceilingofcloudatnightredblotchesburnedandquavered,dapplingandswellingandcontracting,likeburnsthatgivepain。Itwasthefurnaces。AtfirsttheyfascinatedConniewithasortofhorror;shefeltshewaslivingunderground。Thenshegotusedtothem。
Andinthemorningitrained。
CliffordprofessedtolikeWragbybetterthanLondon。Thiscountryhadagrimwillofitsown,andthepeoplehadguts。Conniewonderedwhatelsetheyhad:certainlyneithereyesnorminds。Thepeoplewereashaggard,shapeless,anddrearyasthecountryside,andasunfriendly。Onlytherewassomethingintheirdeep-mouthedslurringofthedialect,andthethresh-threshoftheirhob-nailedpit-bootsastheytrailedhomeingangsontheasphaltfromwork,thatwasterribleandabitmysterious。
Therehadbeennowelcomehomefortheyoungsquire,nofestivities,nodeputation,notevenasingleflower。Onlyadankrideinamotor-carupadark,dampdrive,burrowingthroughgloomytrees,outtotheslopeoftheparkwheregreydampsheepwerefeeding,totheknollwherethehousespreaditsdarkbrownfacade,andthehousekeeperandherhusbandwerehovering,likeunsuretenantsonthefaceoftheearth,readytostammerawelcome。
TherewasnocommunicationbetweenWragbyHallandTevershallvillage,none。Nocapsweretouched,nocurtseysbobbed。Thecolliersmerelystared;
thetradesmenliftedtheircapstoConnieastoanacquaintance,andnoddedawkwardlytoClifford;thatwasall。Gulfimpassable,andaquietsortofresentmentoneitherside。AtfirstConniesufferedfromthesteadydrizzleofresentmentthatcamefromthevillage。Thenshehardenedherselftoit,anditbecameasortoftonic,somethingtoliveupto。ItwasnotthatsheandCliffordwereunpopular,theymerelybelongedtoanotherspeciesaltogetherfromthecolliers。Gulfimpassable,breachindescribable,suchasisperhapsnonexistentsouthoftheTrent。ButintheMidlandsandtheindustrialNorthgulfimpassable,acrosswhichnocommunicationcouldtakeplace。Yousticktoyourside,I’llsticktomine!Astrangedenialofthecommonpulseofhumanity。
YetthevillagesympathizedwithCliffordandConnieintheabstract。
Inthefleshitwas——Youleavemealone!——oneitherside。
Therectorwasanicemanofaboutsixty,fullofhisduty,andreduced,personally,almosttoanonentitybythesilent——Youleavemealone!——ofthevillage。Theminers’wiveswerenearlyallMethodists。Theminerswerenothing。Butevensomuchofficialuniformastheclergymanworewasenoughtoobscureentirelythefactthathewasamanlikeanyotherman。No,hewasMesterAshby,asortofautomaticpreachingandprayingconcern。
Thisstubborn,instinctive——Wethinkourselvesasgoodasyou,ifyouareLadyChatterley!——puzzledandbaffledConnieatfirstextremely。
Thecurious,suspicious,falseamiabilitywithwhichtheminers’wivesmetherovertures;thecuriouslyoffensivetingeof——Ohdearme!Iamsomebodynow,withLadyChatterleytalkingtome!Butsheneedn’tthinkI’mnotasgoodasherforallthat!——whichshealwaysheardtwanginginthewomen’shalf-fawningvoices,wasimpossible。Therewasnogettingpastit。Itwashopelesslyandoffensivelynonconformist。
Cliffordleftthemalone,andshelearnttodothesame:shejustwentbywithoutlookingatthem,andtheystaredasifshewereawalkingwaxfigure。Whenhehadtodealwiththem,Cliffordwasratherhaughtyandcontemptuous;onecouldnolongeraffordtobefriendly。Infacthewasaltogetherrathersuperciliousandcontemptuousofanyonenotinhisownclass。Hestoodhisground,withoutanyattemptatconciliation。Andhewasneitherlikednordislikedbythepeople:hewasjustpartofthings,likethepit-bankandWragbyitself。
ButCliffordwasreallyextremelyshyandself-consciousnowhewaslamed。Hehatedseeinganyoneexceptjustthepersonalservants。Forhehadtositinawheeledchairorasortofbath-chair。Neverthelesshewasjustascarefullydressedasever,byhisexpensivetailors,andheworethecarefulBondStreetnecktiesjustasbefore,andfromthetophelookedjustassmartandimpressiveasever。Hehadneverbeenoneofthemodernladylikeyoungmen:ratherbucoliceven,withhisruddyfaceandbroadshoulders。Buthisveryquiet,hesitatingvoice,andhiseyes,atthesametimeboldandfrightened,assuredanduncertain,revealedhisnature。Hismannerwasoftenoffensivelysupercilious,andthenagainmodestandself-effacing,almosttremulous。
Connieandhewereattachedtooneanother,inthealoofmodernway。
Hewasmuchtoohurtinhimself,thegreatshockofhismaiming,tobeeasyandflippant。Hewasahurtthing。AndassuchConniestucktohimpassionately。
Butshecouldnothelpfeelinghowlittleconnexionhereallyhadwithpeople。Theminerswere,inasense,hisownmen;buthesawthemasobjectsratherthanmen,partsofthepitratherthanpartsoflife,cruderawphenomenaratherthanhumanbeingsalongwithhim。Hewasinsomewayafraidofthem,hecouldnotbeartohavethemlookathimnowhewaslame。Andtheirqueer,crudelifeseemedasunnaturalasthatofhedgehogs。
Hewasremotelyinterested;butlikeamanlookingdownamicroscope,orupatelescope。Hewasnotintouch。Hewasnotinactualtouchwithanybody,save,traditionally,withWragby,and,throughtheclosebondoffamilydefence,withEmma。Beyondthisnothingreallytouchedhim。Conniefeltthatsheherselfdidn’treally,notreallytouchhim;perhapstherewasnothingtogetatultimately;justanegationofhumancontact。
Yethewasabsolutelydependentonher,heneededhereverymoment。
Bigandstrongashewas,hewashelpless。Hecouldwheelhimselfaboutinawheeledchair,andhehadasortofbath-chairwithamotorattachment,inwhichhecouldpuffslowlyroundthepark。Butalonehewaslikealostthing。HeneededConnietobethere,toassurehimheexistedatall。
Stillhewasambitious。Hehadtakentowritingstories;curious,verypersonalstoriesaboutpeoplehehadknown。Clever,ratherspiteful,andyet,insomemysteriousway,meaningless。Theobservationwasextraordinaryandpeculiar。Buttherewasnotouch,noactualcontact。Itwasasifthewholethingtookplaceinavacuum。Andsincethefieldoflifeislargelyanartificially-lightedstagetoday,thestorieswerecuriouslytruetomodernlife,tothemodernpsychology,thatis。
Cliffordwasalmostmorbidlysensitiveaboutthesestories。Hewantedeveryonetothinkthemgood,ofthebest,neplusultra。Theyappearedinthemostmodernmagazines,andwerepraisedandblamedasusual。ButtoCliffordtheblamewastorture,likeknivesgoadinghim。Itwasasifthewholeofhisbeingwereinhisstories。
Conniehelpedhimasmuchasshecould。Atfirstshewasthrilled。Hetalkedeverythingoverwithhermonotonously,insistently,persistently,andshehadtorespondwithallhermight。Itwasasifherwholesoulandbodyandsexhadtorouseupandpassintothemestoriesofhis。Thisthrilledherandabsorbedher。
Ofphysicallifetheylivedverylittle。Shehadtosuperintendthehouse。ButthehousekeeperhadservedSirGeoffreyformanyyears,aridthedried-up,elderly,superlativelycorrectfemaleyoucouldhardlycallheraparlour-maid,orevenawoman……whowaitedattable,hadbeeninthehouseforfortyyears。Eventheveryhousemaidswerenolongeryoung。
Itwasawful!Whatcouldyoudowithsuchaplace,butleaveitalone!
Alltheseendlessroomsthatnobodyused,alltheMidlandsroutine,themechanicalcleanlinessandthemechanicalorder!Cliffordhadinsistedonanewcook,anexperiencedwomanwhohadservedhiminhisroomsinLondon。Fortheresttheplaceseemedrunbymechanicalanarchy。Everythingwentoninprettygoodorder,strictcleanliness,andstrictpunctuality;
evenprettystricthonesty。Andyet,toConnie,itwasamethodicalanarchy。
Nowarmthoffeelinguniteditorganically。Thehouseseemedasdrearyasadisusedstreet。
Whatcouldshedobutleaveitalone?Sosheleftitalone。MissChatterleycamesometimes,withheraristocraticthinface,andtriumphed,findingnothingaltered。ShewouldneverforgiveConnieforoustingherfromherunioninconsciousnesswithherbrother。Itwasshe,Emma,whoshouldbebringingforththestories,thesebooks,withhim;theChatterleystories,somethingnewintheworld,thatthey,theChatterleys,hadputthere。Therewasnootherstandard。Therewasnoorganicconnexionwiththethoughtandexpressionthathadgonebefore。Onlysomethingnewintheworld:theChatterleybooks,entirelypersonal。
Connie’sfather,wherehepaidaflyingvisittoWragby,andinprivatetohisdaughter:AsforClifford’swriting,it’ssmart,butthere’snothinginit。Itwon’tlast!ConnielookedattheburlyScottishknightwhohaddonehimselfwellallhislife,andhereyes,herbig,still-wonderingblueeyesbecamevague。Nothinginit!Whatdidhemeanbynothinginit?
Ifthecriticspraisedit,andClifford’snamewasalmostfamous,anditevenbroughtinmoney……whatdidherfathermeanbysayingtherewasnothinginClifford’swriting?Whatelsecouldtherebe?
ForConniehadadoptedthestandardoftheyoung:whattherewasinthemomentwaseverything。Andmomentsfollowedoneanotherwithoutnecessarilybelongingtooneanother。
ItwasinhersecondwinteratWragbyherfathersaidtoher:`Ihope,Connie,youwon’tletcircumstancesforceyouintobeingademi-vierge。’
`Ademi-vierge!’repliedConnievaguely。`Why?Whynot?’
`Unlessyoulikeit,ofcourse!’saidherfatherhastily。ToCliffordhesaidthesame,whenthetwomenwerealone:`I’mafraiditdoesn’tquitesuitConnietobeademi-vierge。’
`Ahalf-virgin!’repliedClifford,translatingthephrasetobesureofit。
Hethoughtforamoment,thenflushedveryred。Hewasangryandoffended。
`Inwhatwaydoesn’titsuither?’heaskedstiffly。
`She’sgettingthin……angular。It’snotherstyle。She’snotthepilchardsortoflittleslipofagirl,she’sabonnyScotchtrout。’
`Withoutthespots,ofcourse!’saidClifford。
HewantedtosaysomethinglatertoConnieaboutthedemi-viergebusiness……thehalf-virginstateofheraffairs。Buthecouldnotbringhimselftodoit。Hewasatoncetoointimatewithherandnotintimateenough。Hewassoverymuchatonewithher,inhismindandhers,butbodilytheywerenon-existenttooneanother,andneithercouldbeartodraginthecorpusdelicti。Theyweresointimate,andutterlyoutoftouch。
Connieguessed,however,thatherfatherhadsaidsomething,andthatsomethingwasinClifford’smind。Sheknewthathedidn’tmindwhethersheweredemi-viergeordemi-monde,solongashedidn’tabsolutelyknow,andwasn’tmadetosee。Whattheeyedoesn’tseeandtheminddoesn’tknow,doesn’texist。
ConnieandCliffordhadnowbeennearlytwoyearsatWragby,livingtheirvaguelifeofabsorptioninCliffordandhiswork。Theirinterestshadneverceasedtoflowtogetheroverhiswork。Theytalkedandwrestledinthethroesofcomposition,andfeltasifsomethingwerehappening,reallyhappening,reallyinthevoid。
Andthusfaritwasalife:inthevoid。Fortherestitwasnon-existence。