“Iamonlyayoungman，“hewenton，movinguneasilyinhischair，“andIambeginninganewlife——“
　　“Anythingwrongwiththechair？“askedSirPatrick。“Beginyournewlifecomfortably，andgetanother。“
　　“There’snothingwrongwiththechair，Sir。Wouldyou——“
　　“WouldIkeepthechair，inthatcase？Certainly。“
　　“Imean，wouldyouadviseme——“
　　“Mygoodfellow，I’mwaitingtoadviseyou。I’msurethere’ssomethingwrongwiththatchair。Whybeobstinateaboutit？Whynotgetanother？“
　　“Pleasedon’tnoticethechair，SirPatrick——youputmeout。I
　　want——inshort——perhapsit’sacuriousquestion——“
　　“Ican’tsaytillIhaveheardit，“remarkedSirPatrick。
　　“However，wewilladmitit，forform’ssake，ifyoulike。Sayit’sacuriousquestion。Orletusexpressitmorestrongly，ifthatwillhelpyou。Sayit’sthemostextraordinaryquestionthateverwasput，sincethebeginningoftheworld，fromonehumanbeingtoanother。“
　　“It’sthis!“Arnoldburstout，desperately。“Iwanttobemarried!“
　　“Thatisn’taquestion，“objectedSirPatrick。“It’sanassertion。Yousay，Iwanttobemarried。AndIsay，Justso!Andthere’sanendofit。“
　　Arnold’sheadbegantowhirl。“Wouldyouadvisemetogetmarried，Sir？“hesaid，piteously。“That’swhatImeant。“
　　“Oh!That’stheobjectofthepresentinterview，isit？WouldI
　　adviseyoutomarry，eh？“
　　Havingcaughtthemousebythistime，thecatliftedhispawandletthelucklesslittlecreaturebreatheagain。SirPatrick’smannersuddenlyfreeditselffromanyslightsignsofimpatiencewhichitmighthavehithertoshown，andbecameaspleasantlyeasyandconfidentialasamannercouldbe。Hetouchedtheknobofhiscane，andhelpedhimself，withinfinitezestandenjoyment，toapinchofsnuff。
　　“WouldIadviseyoutomarry？“repeatedSirPatrick。“Twocoursesareopentous，Mr。Arnold，intreatingthatquestion。Wemayputitbriefly，orwemayputitatgreatlength。Iamforputtingitbriefly。Whatdoyousay？“
　　“Whatyousay，SirPatrick。“
　　“Verygood。MayIbeginbymakinganinquiryrelatingtoyourpastlife？“
　　“Certainly!“
　　“Verygoodagain。Whenyouwereinthemerchantservice，didyoueverhaveanyexperienceinbuyingprovisionsashore？“
　　Arnoldstared。Ifanyrelationexistedbetweenthatquestionandthesubjectinhanditwasanimpenetrablerelationto_him_。Heanswered，inunconcealedbewilderment，“Plentyofexperience，Sir。“
　　“I’mcomingtothepoint，“pursuedSirPatrick。“Don’tbeastonished。I’mcomingtothepoint。Whatdidyouthinkofyourmoistsugarwhenyouboughtitatthegrocer’s？“
　　“Think？“repeatedArnold。“Why，Ithoughtitwasmoistsugar，tobesure!“
　　“Marry，byallmeans!“criedSirPatrick。“Youareoneofthefewmenwhocantrythatexperimentwithafairchanceofsuccess。“
　　ThesuddennessoftheanswerfairlytookawayArnold’sbreath。
　　Therewassomethingperfectlyelectricinthebrevityofhisvenerablefriend。Hestaredharderthanever。
　　“Don’tyouunderstandme？“askedSirPatrick。
　　“Idon’tunderstandwhatthemoistsugarhasgottodowithit，Sir。“
　　“Youdon’tseethat？“
　　“Notabit!“
　　“ThenI’llshowyou，“saidSirPatrick，crossinghislegs，andsettingincomfortablyforagoodtalk“Yougotothetea-shop，andgetyourmoistsugar。Youtakeitontheunderstandingthatitismoistsugar。Butitisn’tanythingofthesort。It’sacompoundofadulterationsmadeuptolooklikesugar。Youshutyoureyestothatawkwardfact，andswallowyouradulteratedmessinvariousarticlesoffood；andyouandyoursugargetontogetherinthatwayaswellasyoucan。Doyoufollowme，sofar？“
　　Yes。Arnoldquiteinthedarkfollowed，sofar。
　　“Verygood，“pursuedSirPatrick。“Yougotothemarriage-shop，andgetawife。Youtakeherontheunderstanding——letussay——thatshehaslovelyyellowhair，thatshehasanexquisitecomplexion，thatherfigureistheperfectionofplumpness，andthatsheisjusttallenoughtocarrytheplumpnessoff。Youbringherhome，andyoudiscoverthatit’stheoldstoryofthesugaroveragain。Yourwifeisanadulteratedarticle。Herlovelyyellowhairis——dye。Herexquisiteskinis——pearlpowder。Herplumpnessis——padding。Andthreeinchesofherheightare——intheboot-maker’sheels。Shutyoureyes，andswallowyouradulteratedwifeasyouswallowyouradulteratedsugar——and，Itellyouagain，youareoneofthefewmenwhocantrythemarriageexperimentwithafairchanceofsuccess。“
　　Withthatheuncrossedhislegsagain，andlookedhardatArnold。
　　Arnoldreadthelesson，atlast，intherightway。HegaveupthehopelessattempttocircumventSirPatrick，and——comewhatmightofit——dashedatadirectallusiontoSirPatrick’sniece。
　　“Thatmaybeallverytrue，Sir，ofsomeyoungladies，“hesaid。
　　“ThereisoneIknowof，whoisnearlyrelatedtoyou，andwhodoesn’tdeservewhatyouhavesaidoftherestofthem。“
　　Thiswascomingtothepoint。SirPatrickshowedhisapprovalofArnold’sfranknessbycomingtothepointhimself，asreadilyashisownwhimsicalhumorwouldlethim。
　　“Isthisfemalephenomenonmyniece？“heinquired。
　　“Yes，SirPatrick。“
　　“MayIaskhowyouknowthatmynieceisnotanadulteratedarticle，liketherestofthem？“
　　Arnold’sindignationloosenedthelastrestraintsthattiedArnold’stongue。Heexplodedinthethreewordswhichmeanthreevolumesineverycirculatinglibraryinthekingdom。
　　“Iloveher。“
　　SirPatricksatbackinhischair，andstretchedouthislegsluxuriously。
　　“That’sthemostconvincinganswerIeverheardinmylife，“hesaid。
　　“I’minearnest!“criedArnold，recklessbythistimeofeveryconsiderationbutone。“Putmetothetest，Sir!putmetothetest!“
　　“Oh，verywell。Thetestiseasilyput。“HelookedatArnold，withtheirrepressiblehumortwinklingmerrilyinhiseyes，andtwitchingsharplyatthecornersofhislips。“Myniecehasabeautifulcomplexion。Doyoubelieveinhercomplexion？“
　　“There’sabeautifulskyaboveourheads，“returnedArnold。“I
　　believeinthesky。“
　　“Doyou？“retortedSirPatrick。“Youwereevidentlynevercaughtinashower。Myniecehasanimmensequantityofhair。Areyouconvincedthatitallgrowsonherhead？“
　　“Idefyanyotherwoman’sheadtoproducethelikeofit!“
　　“MydearArnold，yougreatlyunderratetheexistingresourcesofthetradeinhair!Lookintotheshop-windows。WhenyounextgotoLondonpraylookintotheshow-windows。Inthemeantime，whatdoyouthinkofmyniece’sfigure？“
　　“Oh，come!therecan’tbeanydoubtabout_that!_Anyman，witheyesinhishead，canseeit’stheloveliestfigureintheworld。“
　　SirPatricklaughedsoftly，andcrossedhislegsagain。
　　“Mygoodfellow，ofcourseitis!Theloveliestfigureintheworldisthecommonestthingintheworld。Ataroughguess，therearefortyladiesatthislawn-party。Everyoneofthempossessesabeautifulfigure。Itvariesinprice；andwhenit’sparticularlyseductiveyoumayswearitcomesfromParis。Why，howyoustare!WhenIaskedyouwhatyouthoughtofmyniece’sfigure，Imeant——howmuchofitcomesfromNature，andhowmuchofitcomesfromtheShop？Idon’tknow，mind!Doyou？“
　　“I’lltakemyoathtoeveryinchofit!“
　　“Shop？“
　　“Nature!“
　　SirPatrickrosetohisfeet；hissatiricalhumorwassilencedatlast。
　　“IfeverIhaveason，“hethoughttohimself，“thatsonshallgotosea!“HetookArnold’sarm，asapreliminarytoputtinganendtoArnold’ssuspense。“IfI_can_beseriousaboutanything，“
　　heresumed，“it’stimetobeseriouswithyou。Iamconvincedofthesincerityofyourattachment。AllIknowofyouisinyourfavor，andyourbirthandpositionarebeyonddispute。IfyouhaveBlanche’sconsent，youhavemine。“Arnoldattemptedtoexpresshisgratitude。SirPatrick，decliningtohearhim，wenton。“Andrememberthis，inthefuture。WhenyounextwantanythingthatIcangiveyou，askforitplainly。Don’tattempttomystify_me_onthenextoccasion，andIwillpromise，onmyside，nottomystify_you。_There，that’sunderstood。Nowaboutthisjourneyofyourstoseeyourestate。Propertyhasitsduties，MasterArnold，aswellasitsrights。Thetimeisfastcomingwhenitsrightswillbedisputed，ifitsdutiesarenotperformed。Ihavegotanewinterestinyou，andImeantoseethatyoudoyourduty。It’ssettledyouaretoleaveWindygatesto-day。Isitarrangedhowyouaretogo？“