Whilehewascomingup，LordIpsdenwaslecturingMarshalSaundersonapointonwhichthatworthyhadalwaysthoughthimselfverysuperiortohismaster——"Gentlemanlydeportment."
　　"Now，Saunders，mindandbehavelikeagentleman，orweshallbefoundout."
　　"Itrust，mylord，myconduct——"
　　"WhatImeanis，youmustnotbesooverpoweringlygentleman—likeasyouareapttobe;nogentlemanissogentlemanasallthat;itcouldnotbeborne，_c’estsuffoquant;_andawhitehandkerchiefisunsoldier—like，andnobodytiesawhitehandkerchiefsowellasthat;ofallthevices，perfectionisthemostintolerable."Hislordshipthentouchedwithhiscanethegeneralissimo’stie，whosecountenancestraightwayfell，asthoughhehadlostthreesuccessivebattles.
　　Gattycameup.
　　Theysaluted.
　　"Whereisyoursecond，sir？"saidthemare’chal.
　　"Mysecond？"saidGatty."Ah！Iforgottowakehim——doesitmatter？"
　　"Itismerelyacustom，"saidLordIpsden，withaveryslightlysatiricalmanner."Savanadero，"saidhe，"dousthehonortomeasuretheground，andbeeverybody’ssecond."
　　Savanaderomeasuredtheground，andhandedapistoltoeachcombatant，andstruckanimposingattitudeapart.
　　"Areyouready，gentlemen？"saidthisJack—o’—both—sides.
　　"Yes！"saidboth.
　　Justasthesignalwasabouttobegiven，aninterruptionoccurred."I
　　begyourpardon，sir，"saidLordIpsdentohisantagonist;"Iamgoingtotakea_liberty——agreatliberty_withyou，butIthinkyouwillfindyourpistolisonlyathalfcock."
　　"Thankyou，mylord;whatamItodowiththething？"
　　"Drawbackthecockso，andbereadytofire？"
　　"So？"_Bang！_
　　Hehadtouchedthetriggeraswellasthecock，sooffwentthebarker;
　　andafteraconsiderablepausethefield—marshalsprangyellingintotheair.
　　"Hallo！"criedMr.Gatty.
　　"Ah！oh！I’madeadman，"whinedthegeneral.
　　"Nonsense！"saidIpsden，afteramomentofanxiety."Giveyourselfnoconcern，sir，"saidhe，soothingly，tohisantagonist——"amereaccident.
　　Mare’chal，reloadMr.Gatty’spistol."
　　"Excuseme，mylord——"
　　"Loadhispistoldirectly，"saidhislordship，sternly;"andbehavelikeagentleman."
　　"Mylord！mylord！butwhereshallIstandtobesafe？"
　　"Behindme！"
　　ThecommanderofdivisionadvancedreluctantlyforGatty’spistol.
　　"No，mylord！"saidGatty，"itisplainIamnotafitantagonist;I
　　shallbutexposemyself——andmymotherhasseparatedus;Ihavelosther——ifyoudonotwinhersomeworsemanmay;but，oh！ifyouareaman，usehertenderly."
　　"Whom？"
　　"ChristieJohnstone！Oh，sir，donotmakeherregretmetoomuch！Shewasmytreasure，myconsolation——shewastobemywife，shewouldhavecheeredtheroadoflife——itisadesertnow.Ilovedher——I——I——"
　　Herethepoorfellowchoked.
　　LordIpsdenturnedround，andthrewhispistoltoSaunders，saying，"Catchthat，Saunders."
　　Saunders，onthecontrary，byasinglemotionchangedhispersonfromaverticalstraightlinetoahorizontallineexactlyparallelwiththeearth’ssurface，andtheweaponsanginnoxiousoverhim.
　　Hislordshipthen，withanobledefianceofetiquette，walkeduptohisantagonistandgavehimhishand，withamotionnoonecouldresist;forhefeltforthepoorfellow.
　　"Itisallamistake，"saidhe."ThereisnosentimentbetweenLaJohnstoneandmebutmutualesteem.Iwillexplainthewholething._I_
　　admire_her_forhervirtue，herwit，herinnocence，hergoodnessandallthatsortofthing;and_she，_what_she_seesin_me，_IamsureIdon’tknow，"addedhe，slightlyshrugginghisaristocraticshoulders."DomethehonortobreakfastwithmeatNewhaven."
　　"Ihaveorderedtwelvesortsoffishatthe’Peacock，’mylord，"saidSaunders.
　　"Divine！（Ihatefish）ItoldSaundersallwouldbehungryandnoneshot;
　　bytheby，youarewinged，Ithinkyousaid，Saunders？"
　　"No，mylord！butlookatmytrousers."
　　Thebullethadcuthispantaloons.
　　"Isee——onlybarked;sogoandseeaboutourbreakfast."
　　"Yes，mylord"_（faintly）._
　　"Anddrawonmeforfiftypounds’worthof——newtrousers."
　　Yes，mylord"_（sonorously）._
　　Theduelistsseparated，GattytakingtheshortcuttoNewhaven;heproposedtotakehisfavoriteswimthere，torefreshhimselfbeforebreakfast;andhewentfromhislordshipalittlecheeredbyremarkswhichfellfromhim，andwhich，thoughvague，soundedfriendly——poorfellow，exceptwhenhehadabrushinhandhewasadreamer.
　　Thisviscount，whodidnotseemtotroublehisheadaboutclassdignity，wastoconverthismotherfromheraristocratictendenciesorsomething.
　　_Quesais—je？_whatwillnotadreamerhope？
　　LordIpsdenstrolledalongthesands，andjudgehissurprise，when，attendedbytwofootmen，hemetatthattimeinthemorningLadyBarbaraSinclairLordIpsdenhadbeensodisheartenedandpiquedbythislady’sconductthatforawholeweekhehadnotbeennearher.Thislineofbehaviorsometimesanswers.
　　Shemethimwithagranddisplayofcordiality.
　　Sheinquired，"Whetherhehadheardofamostgallantaction，that，coupledwithanothercircumstance"_（hereshesmiled），_"hadinpartreconciledhertotheagewelivein？"
　　Heaskedforfurtherparticulars.
　　Shetheninformedhim"thatashiphadbeenashoreontherocks，thatnofishermandaredventureout，thatayounggentlemanhadgiventhemhiswholefortune，andsobribedthemtoaccompanyhim;thathehadsavedtheshipandthemen’slives，paidawayhisfortune，andlightedanodiouscigarandgonehome，neverminding，amidtheblessingsandacclamationsofamaritimepopulation."
　　Abeautifulstoryshetoldhim;sobeautiful，infact，thatuntilshehaddiscoursedtenminuteshehardlyrecognizedhisownfeat;butwhenhedidheblushedinsideaswellasoutwithpleasure.Oh！musicofmusic——praisefromeloquentlips，andthoselipsthelipswelove.
　　Thenextmomenthefeltashamed;ashamedthatLadyBarbarashouldpraisehimbeyondhismerits，asheconceived.
　　Hemadeafainthypocriticalendeavortomoderatehereulogium;thisgavemattersanunexpectedturn，LadyBarbara’seyesflasheddefiance.
　　"Isayitwasanobleaction，thatonenursedineffeminacy（asyouallare）shouldteachthehardyseamentomockatperil——noblefellow！"
　　"Hedidaman’sduty，Barbara."
　　"Ipsden，takecare，youwillmakemehateyou，ifyoudetractfromadeedyoucannotemulate.Thisgentlemanriskedhisownlifetosaveothers——heisahero！IshouldknowhimbyhisfacethemomentIsawhim.Oh，thatI
　　weresuchaman，orknewwheretofindsuchacreature！"
　　ThewatercameintoLordIpsden’seyes;hedidnotknowwhattosayordo;heturnedawayhishead.LadyBarbarawassurprised;herconsciencesmoteher.
　　"Oh，dear，"saidshe，"therenow，Ihavegivenyoupain——forgiveme;wecan’tallbeheroes;dearIpsden，don’tthinkIdespiseyounowasI
　　used.Oh，no！Ihaveheardofyourgoodnesstothepoor，andIhavemoreexperiencenow.ThereisnobodyIesteemmorethanyou，Richard，soyouneednotlookso."
　　"Thankyou，dearestBarbara."
　　"Yes，andifyouweretobesuchagooseastowritemeanotherletterproposingabsurditiestome——"
　　"Wouldtheanswerbedifferent？"
　　"Verydifferent."
　　"Oh，Barbara，wouldyouaccept？"
　　"Why，ofcoursenot;butIwouldrefusecivilly！"
　　"Ah！"
　　"There，don’tsigh;Ihateasighingman.I’lltellyousomethingthatI
　　knowwillmakeyoulaugh."Shethensmiledsaucilyinhisface，andsaid，"DoyourememberMr.————？"
　　_L’effronte’e！_thiswastheearnestman.ButIpsdenwasamatchforherthistime."IthinkIdo，"saidhe;"agentlemanwhowantstomakeJohnBulllittleagainintoJohnCalf;butitwon’tdo."
　　Herladyshiplaughed."WhydidyounottellusthatonInchCoombe？"
　　"BecauseIhadnotread_TheCatspaw_then."
　　_"TheCatspaw？_Ah！Ithoughtitcouldnotbeyou.Whoseisit？"
　　"Mr.Jerrold’s."
　　"ThenMr.Jerroldisclevererthanyou."
　　"Itispossible."
　　"Itiscertain！Well，Mr.JerroldandLordIpsden，youwillbothbegladtohearthatitwas，inpointoffact，abullthatconfutedtheadvocateoftheMiddleAges;wewerewalking;hewastellingmemanhoodwasextinctexceptinafewearnestmenwholiveduponthepast，itsassociations，itstruth;whenahorridbullgave——oh——suchabellow！andcametrottingup.Iscreamedandran——Iremembernothingbutarrivingatthestile，andlo，ontheotherside，offeringmehisarmwith_empressment_acrossthewoodenbarrierwas——"
　　"Well？"
　　"Well！don’tyousee？"
　　"No——oh——yes，Isee！——fancy——ah！ShallItellyouhowhecametogetfirstover？Heranmoreearnestlythanyou."
　　’ItisnotMr.Jerroldthistime，Ipresume，"saidhersatiricalladyship.
　　"No！youcannotalwayshavehim.Iventuretopredictyourladyshiponyourreturnhomegavethismediaevalpersonagehis_conge’."_
　　"No！"
　　"No？"
　　"Igaveithimatthestile！Letusbeserious，ifyouplease;Ihaveaconfidencetomakeyou，Ipsden.Frankly，Ioweyousomeapologyformyconductoflate;Imeanttobereserved——Ihavebeenrude——butyoushalljudgeme.Ayearagoyoumademesomeproposals;Irejectedthembecause，thoughIlikeyou——"
　　"Youlikeme？"
　　"Idetestyourcharacter.Sincethen，myWestIndiaestatehasbeenturnedintospecie;thatspecie，thebulkofmyfortune，placedonboardavessel;thatvessellost，atleastwethinkso——shehasnotbeenheardof."
　　"Mydearcousin."
　　"DoyoucomprehendthatnowIamcoolerthanevertoallyounggentlemenwhohavelargeincomes，and"（holdingoutherhandlikeanangel）"Imusttroubleyoutoforgiveme."
　　Hekissedherlovelyhand.
　　"Iesteemyoumoreandmore，"saidhe."Youought，forithasbeenahardstruggletomenottoadoreyou，becauseyouaresoimproved，_moncousin."_
　　"Isitpossible？Inwhatrespect？"
　　"Youarebrownerandcharitabler;andIshouldhavebeenverykindtoyou——mawkishlykind，Ifear，mysweetcousin，ifthiswretchedmoneyhadnotgonedowninthe_Tisbe."_
　　"Hallo！"criedtheviscount.
　　"Ah！"squeakedLadyBarbara，unusedtosuchinterjections.
　　"Gonedowninwhat？"saidIpsden，inaloudvoice.
　　"Don’tbellowinpeople’sears.The_Tisbe，_stupid，"criedshe，screamingatthetopofhervoice.
　　"Ritum，titurn，titum，tum，tum，tiddy，iddy，"wentLordIpsden——hewhistledapolka.
　　_LadyBarbara（inspectinghimgravely）._"Ihavehearditatadistance，butIneversawhowitwasdonebefore._Itisvery，verypretty！！！！"_
　　_Ipsden."Polkez—vous，madame？"_
　　_LadyBarb."Si，jepolke，MonsieurleVicomte."_
　　Theypolkedforasecondortwo.
　　"Well，IdaresayIamwrong，"criedLadyBarbara，"butIlikeyoubetternowyouareadownright——ahem！——thanwhenyouwereonlyaninsipidnon—intellectual——youaregreatlyimproved."
　　_Ips._"Inwhatrespects？’
　　_LadyBarb._"DidInottellyou？brownerandmoreimpudent;buttellme，"saidshe，resuminghersly，satiricaltone，"howisitthatyou，whousedtobethepinkofcourtesy，danceandsingoverthewreckofmyfortunes？"
　　"Becausetheyarenotwrecked."
　　"IthoughtItoldyoumyspecieisgonedowninthe_Tisbe."_
　　_Ipsden._"Butthe_Tisbe_hasnotgonedown."
　　_LadyBarb._"Itellyouitis."
　　_Ipsden._"Iassureyouitisnot."
　　_LadyBarb._"Itisnot？"
　　_Ipsden._"Barbara！Iamtoohappy，Ibegintonourishsuchsweethopesoncemore.Oh，Icouldfallonmykneesandblessyouforsomethingyousaidjustnow."
　　LadyBarbarablushedtothetemples.
　　"Thenwhydon’tyou？"saidshe."Allyouwantisalittleenthusiasm."
　　Thenrecoveringherself，shesaid：
　　"Youkneelonwetsand，withblacktrouserson;thatwillneverbe！！！"
　　Thesetwoweresooccupiedthattheydidnotobservetheapproachofastrangeruntilhebrokeinupontheirdialogue.
　　AnAncientMarinerhadbeenforsomeminutesstandingoffandon，reconnoiteringLordIpsden;henowboredown，andwithgreatrough，roaringcordiality，thatmadeLadyBarbarastart，criedout：
　　"Givemeyourhand，sir——givemeyourhand，ifyouweretwicealord.
　　"Icouldn’tspeaktoyoutillthebrigwassafeinport，andyouslippedaway，butI’vebroughtyouupatlast;and——givemeyourhandagain，sir.
　　Isay，isn’titapityyouarealordinsteadofasailor？"
　　_Ipsden._"ButIamasailor."
　　_AncientMariner._"Thatyeare，andassmartaoneasevertiedatrue—lover’sknotinthetop;buttellthetruth——youwerenevernearerlosingthenumberofyourmessthanthatdayintheold_Tisbe."_
　　_LadyBarb._"Theold_Tisbe！_Oh！"
　　_Ipsden._"Doyourememberthatnicelittlelurchshegavetoleewardaswebroughtherround？"
　　_LadyBarb._"Oh，Richard！"
　　_AncientMariner._"Andthatreeltheoldwenchgaveunderourfeet，norththepier—head.Iwouldn’thavegivenawashing—tubforheratthatmoment."
　　_Ipsden._"Pastdangerbecomespleasure，sir._Olimethoecmeminisse_——I
　　begyourpardon，sir."
　　_AncientMariner（takingoffhishatwithfeeling）._"Godblessye，sir，andsendyemanyhappydays，andwellspent，withtheprettyladyIseealongside;askingyourpardon，miss，forpartingpleasantercompany——soI’llsheeroff."
　　Andawaywenttheskipperofthe_Tisbe，_rollingfearfully.Intheheatofthisreminiscence，theskipperoftheyacht（theyareallalike，bluewateroncefairlytasted）hadlostsightofLadyBarbara;henowlookedround.Imaginehissurprise！
　　Herladyshipwasintears.
　　"DearBarbara，"saidLordIpsden，"donotdistressyourselfonmyaccount."
　　"Itisnotyourfe—feelingsIcareabout;atleast，Ih—h—hopenot;butI
　　havebeensounjust，andIpridedmyselfsoonmyj—ju—justice."
　　"Nevermind！"
　　"Oh！ifyoudon’t，Idon’t.Ihatemyself，soitisnowonderyouh—hateme."
　　"Iloveyoumorethanever."
　　"Thenyouareagoodsoul！OfcourseyouknowIalways_l_—esteemedyou，Richard."
　　"No！Ihadanideayoudespisedme！"
　　"Howsillyyouare！Can’tyousee？WhenIthoughtyouwerenotperfection，whichyouarenow，itvexedmetodeath;youneversawmeaffrontanyonebutyou？"
　　"No，Ineverdid！Whatdoesthatprove？"
　　"Thatdependsuponthewitofhimthatreasonsthereon."（Comingtoherself.）
　　"Iloveyou，Barbara！Willyouhonormewithyourhand？"
　　"No！Iamnotsobase，soselfish.Youareworthahundredofme，andherehaveIbeentreatingyou_dehautenbas._DearRichard，poorRichard.Oh！oh！oh！"（Aperfectfloodoftears.）
　　"Barbara！Iregretnothing;thismomentpaysforall."
　　"Well，then，Iwill！sinceyoukeeppressingme.There，letmego;Imustbealone;ImusttelltheseahowunjustIwas，andhowhappyIam，andwhenyouseemeagainyoushallseethebettersideofyourcousinBarbara."
　　Shewasperemptory."Shehadherfollyandhismeritstothinkover，"shesaid;butshepromisedtopassthroughNewhaven，andheshouldputherintoherpony—phaeton，whichwouldmeetherthere.
　　LadyBarbarawasonlyafoolbytheexcessofherwitoverherexperience;andLordIpsden’slovewasnotmisplaced，forshehadagreatheartwhichshehidfromlittlepeople.Iforgiveher！
　　Theresolutionssheformedincompanywiththesea，havingdismissedIpsden，andorderedherflunkyintothehorizon，willprobablygiveourviscountjusthalfacenturyofconjugalbliss.
　　Ashewasgoingshestoppedhimandsaid："YourfriendhadbrownerhandsthanIhavehithertoconceivedpossible._Totellthetruth，_Itookthemfortheclawsofamahoganytablewhenhegrappledyou——isthattheterm？
　　_C’este’gal_——Ilikehim——"
　　Shestoppedhimagain."Ipsden，inthemidstofallthisthatpoorman’sshipisbroken.Ifeelitis！Youwillbuyhimanother，ifyoureallyloveme——forIlikehim."
　　Andsotheseloverspartedforatime;andLordIpsdenwithaboundingheartreturnedtoNewhaven.Hewenttoentertainhislate_vis—’a—vis_atthe"Peacock."
　　Meantimeashorterandlesspleasant_rencontre_hadtakenplacebetweenLeithandthatvillage.
　　Gattyfeltheshouldmeethislostsweetheart;andsureenough，ataturnoftheroadChristieandJeancamesuddenlyuponhim.
　　Jeannodded，butChristietooknonoticeofhim;theypassedhim;heturnedandfollowedthem，andsaid，"Christie！"
　　"Whatisyourwillwi’me？"saidshe，coldly.
　　"I——I——Howpaleyouare！"
　　"Iamnoveryweel."
　　"Shehasbeenwatchingovermucklewi’Flucker，"saidJean.
　　Christiethankedherwithalook.
　　"Ihopeitisnot——not——"
　　"Naefears，lad，"saidshe，briskly;"Idinnathinkthatmuckleo’ye."
　　"AndIthinkofnothingbutyou，"saidhe.
　　Adeepflushcrimsonedtheyoungwoman’sbrow，butsherestrainedherself，andsaidicily："Thaat’sverygudeo’ye，I’msure."
　　Gattyfeltallthecontempthermannersandwordsexpressed.Hebithislips.Thetearstartedtohiseye."Youwillforgetme，"saidhe."Idonotdeservetoberemembered，butIshallneverforgetyou.IleaveforEngland.IleaveNewhavenforever，whereIhavebeensohappy.Iamgoingatthreeo’clockbythesteamboat.Won’tyoubidmegood—by？"Heapproachedhertimidly.
　　"Ay！thatwulldo，"criedshe;"Gudebewi’ye，lad;Iwishyenaeill."
　　Shegaveacommandinggestureofdismissal;heturnedaway，andwentsadlyfromher.Shewatchedeverymotionwhenhisbackwasturned.
　　"Thatisyou，Christie，"saidJean;"usetheladslikedirt，an’theythinka’themairo’ye."
　　"Oh，Jean，myhairt’sbroken.I’mjustdeeingforhim."
　　"Letmespeaktillhimthen，"saidJean;"I’llsunebringhimtillhismarrow—banes;"andshetookahastysteptofollowhim.
　　Christieheldherfast."I’ddeeereI’dgiveintillthem.Oh，Jean！I’malassiecleanflungawa;hehasneitherhairtnorspunkava，yonlad！"
　　Jeanbegantomakeexcusesforhim.Christieinveighedagainsthim.Jeanspokeupforhimwithmoreearnestness.
　　Nowobserve，Jeandespisedthepoorboy.
　　Christieadoredhim.
　　SoJeanspokeforhim，becausewomenofeverydegreeareoftenonesolidmassoftact;andChristieabusedhim，becauseshewantedtohearhimdefended.
　　CHAPTERXVI.
　　RICHARD，LORDVISCOUNTIPSDEN，havingdottedtheseashorewithsentinels，totellhimofLadyBarbara’sapproach，awaitedhisguestinthe"Peacock";but，asGattywasalittlebehindtime，heplacedSaunderssentineloverthe"Peacock，"andstrolledeastward;ashecameoutofthe"Peacock，"Mrs.Gattycamedownthelittlehillinfront，andalsoproceededeastward;meantimeLadyBarbaraandherescortwerenotfarfromtheNewTownofNewhaven，ontheirwayfromLeith.
　　Mrs.Gattycamedown，merelywithavaguefear.Shehadnoreasontosupposeherson’salliancewithChristieeitherwouldorcouldberenewed，butshewasacarefulplayerandwouldnotgiveachanceaway;
　　shefoundhewasgoneoutunusuallyearly，soshecamestraighttotheonlyplaceshedreaded;itwasherson’slastdayinScotland.Shehadpackedhisclothes，andhehadinspiredherwithconfidencebyarrangingpictures，etc.，himself;shehadnoideahewaspackingforhisdeparturefromthislife，notEdinburghonly.
　　ShecamethentoNewhavenwithnoseriousmisgivings，for，evenifhersonhadagainvacillated，shesawthat，withChristie’sprideandherownfirmness，thegamemustbehersintheend;but，asIsaidbefore，shewasonewhoplayedhercardsclosely，andsuchseldomlose.
　　Butmystoryiswiththetwoyoungfishwives，who，ontheirreturnfromLeith，foundthemselvesatthefootoftheNewTown，Newhaven，someminutesbeforeanyoftheotherpersonswho，itistobeobserved，wereapproachingitfromdifferentpoints;theycameslowlyin，Christieinparticular，withalistlessnessshehadnever，knowntillthislastweek;
　　forsomedaysherstrengthhadfailedher——itwasJeanthatcarriedthecreelnow——before，Christie，intheprideofherstrength，wouldalwaysdomorethanhershareoftheirjointlabor.Thenshecouldhardlybeforcedtoeat，andwhatshedideatwasquitetastelesstoher，andsleeplefther，andinitssteadcameuneasyslumbers，fromwhichsheawokequiveringfromheadtofoot.
　　Oh！perilousventureofthosewholoveoneobjectwiththewholeheart.
　　Thisgreatbuttenderheartwasbreakingdaybyday.
　　Well，ChristieandJean，strollingslowlyintotheNewTownofNewhaven，foundanassemblageofthenativesalllookingseaward;thefishermen，exceptSandyListon，wereawayattheherringfishery，butalltheboysandwomenoftheNewTownwerecollected;thegirlsfeltamomentarycuriosity;itproved，however，tobeonlyanindividualswimmingintowardshorefromagreaterdistancethanusual.
　　Alittlematterexcitescuriosityinsuchplaces.
　　Theman’sheadlookedlikeaspotofink.
　　SandyListonwasmindinghisownbusiness，lazilymendingaskait—net，whichhehadattachedtoacrazyoldherring—boathauleduptorot.
　　Christiesatdown，paleandlanguid，byhim，onacreepiethatalasswhohadbeenbaitingalinewithmusselshadjustvacated;suddenlysheseizedJean’sarmwithaconvulsivemotion;Jeanlookedup——itwastheLondonsteamboatrunningoutfromLeithtoGrantonPiertotakeupherpassengersforLondon.CharlesGattywasgoingbythatboat;thelookofmutedespairthepoorgirlgavewenttoJean’sheart;sheranhastilyfromthegroup，andcriedoutofsightforpoorChristie.
　　Afishwife，lookingthroughatelescopeattheswimmer，remarked："He’scominginfast;he’sagallantswimmer，yon——
　　"Canhedee’t？"inquiredChristieofSandyListon.
　　"Finethaat，"wasthereply;"hedoesitayeo’Sundayswhenyeareatthekirk."
　　"It’snoooto’thekirkwindowye’llhaeseenhim，Sandy，mymon，"saidayoungfishwife.
　　"Rinformyglassonyway，Flucker，"saidChristie，forcingherselftotakesomelittleinterest.
　　Fluckerbroughtittoher，sheputherhandonhisshoulder，gotslowlyup，andstoodonthecreepieandadjustedthefocusofherglass;afterashortview，shesaidtoFlucker：
　　"Rinandseethenook."Shethenleveledherglassagainattheswimmer.
　　Fluckerinformedherthenooksaid"halfeleven"——Scotchfor"halfpastten."
　　Christiewhippedoutawell—thumbedalmanac.
　　"Yonnook’sayeahint，"saidshe.Sheswepttheseaoncemorewithherglass，thenbroughtittogetherwithaclick，andjumpedoffthestool.
　　Herquickintelligenceviewedthematterdifferentlyfromalltheothers.
　　"Noow，"criedshe，smartly，"wha’lllendmehisyawl？"
　　"Hets！dinnabesaeinterferin’，lassie，"saidafishwife.
　　"Haenaneo’yeonyspunk？"saidChristie，takingnonoticeofthewoman.
　　"Speak，laddies！"
　　"M’uncle’syawlisatthepier—head;ye’llgether，mywoman，"saidaboy.
　　"Aschell’nforwha’sfirstonboard，"saidChristie，holdingupthecoin.
　　"Comeawa’，Flucker，we’llhaeherschell’n;"andthesetwoworthiesinstantlyeffectedafalsestart.
　　"It’snounderyourjackets，"saidChristie，asshedashedafterthemlikethewind.
　　"Haw！haw！haw！"laughedSandy.
　　"What’sherbusinesspickingupamonagainsthiswill？"saidawoman.
　　"She’sanawfu’lassie，"whinedanother.Theexaminationoftheswimmerwasthencontinued，andthecrowdincreased;somewouldhaveithewasrapidlyapproaching，othersthathemadelittleornoway.
　　"Whaest？"saidanother.
　　"It’salummy，"saidagirl.
　　"Na！it’snoalummy，"saidanother.
　　Christie’sboatwasnowseenstandingoutfromthepier.SandyListon，castingacontemptuouslookonalltherest，liftedhimselflazilyintotheherring—boatandlookedseaward.Hismannerchangedinamoment.
　　"TheDeevil！"criedhe;"thetide’sturned！Youwi’yourglass，couldyounoseeyonman’sdriftingoottosea？"
　　"Hech！"criedthewomen，"he’llbedrooned——he’llbedrooned！"
　　"Yes;he’llbedrooned！"criedSandy，"ifyonlassiedoesnacomealongsidehimdeevelichquick——he’ssairspent，Idoot."
　　Twospectatorswerenowaddedtothescene，Mrs.GattyandLordIpsden.
　　Mrs.Gattyinquiredwhatwasthematter.
　　"It’samondrooning，"wasthereply.
　　Thepoorfellow，whomSandy，byaidofhisglass，nowdiscoveredtobeinawornoutcondition，wasabouthalfamileeastofNewhavenpier—head，andunfortunatelythewindwasnearlydueeast.Christiewasstandingnorth—northeast，herboat—hookjammedagainstthesail，whichstoodasflatasaknife.
　　ThenativesoftheOldTownwerenowseenpouringdowntothepierandthebeach，andstrangerswerecollectinglikebees.
　　"Afterwitiseverybody’swit！！！"——_OldProverb._
　　TheaffairwasintheJohnstone’shands.
　　"Thatboatisnotgoingtothepoorman，"saidMrs.Gatty，"itisturningitsbackuponhim."
　　"Shecannalieinthewind’seye，forascleverassheis，"answeredafishwife.
　　"Ikenwhaitis，"suddenlysqueakedalittlefishwife;"it’sChristieJohnstone’slad;it’syondaftpainterfr’England.Hech！"criedshe，suddenly，observingMrs.Gatty，"it’syourson，woman."
　　Theunfortunatewomangaveafearfulscream，and，flyinglikeatigeronListon，commandedhim"togostraightouttoseaandsaveherson."
　　JeanCarnieseizedherarm."Divyeseeyonboat？"criedshe;"anddivyemindChristie，thelasswha’shairtyehaebroken？aweel，woman——_it’sjustaracebetweendeethandCirstyJohnstoneforyourson._
　　Thepooroldwomanswooneddeadaway;theycarriedherintoChristieJohnstone’shouseandlaidherdown，thenhurriedback——thegreaterterrorabsorbedtheless.
　　LadyBarbaraSinclairwastherefromLeith;and，seeingLordIpsdenstandingintheboatwithafisherman，sheaskedhimtotellherwhatitwas;neitherhenoranyoneansweredher.
　　"Whydoesn’tshecomeabout，Liston？"criedLordIpsden，stampingwithanxietyandimpatience.
　　"She’llnobelang，"saidSandy;"butthey’llmakamesso’’twi’ne’eramani’theboat."
　　"Ye’resureo’thaat？"putinawoman.
　　"Ay，aboutshecomes，"saidListon，asthesailcamedownonthefirsttack.Hewasmistaken;theydippedthelugascleverlyasanymaninthetowncould.
　　"Hech！lookatherhaulingontheropelikeamon，"criedawoman.Thesailflewupontheothertack.
　　"She’sanawfu’lassie，".whinedanother.
　　"He’sawa，"groanedListon，"he’sdoon！"
　　"No！he’supagain，"criedLordIpsden;"butIfearhecan’tlivetilltheboatcomestohim."
　　Thefishermanandtheviscountheldonbyeachother.
　　"Hedoesnaseeher，ormaybehe’dtakhairt."
　　"I’dgivetenthousandpoundsifonlyhecouldseeher.MyGod，themanwillbedrownedunderoureyes.Ifhebutsawher！！！"
　　ThewordshadhardlyleftLordIpsden’slips，whenthesoundofawoman’svoicecamelikeanAEoliannoteacrossthewater.
　　"Hurraih！"roaredListon，andeverycreaturejoinedthecheer.
　　"She’llnolethimdee.Ah！she’sinthebows，hailinghiman’wavingthelad’sbonnetowerherheadtogiehimcoorage.Gudeblessye，lass;Gudeblessye！"
　　Christieknewitwasnousehailinghimagainstthewind，butthemomentshegotthewindshedartedintothebows，andpitchedinitshighestkeyherfullandbrilliantvoice;afteramomentofsuspenseshereceivedproofthatshemustbeheardbyhim，foronthepiernowhungmenandwomen，clusteredlikebees，breathlesswithanxiety，andthemomentaftershehailedthedrowningman，shesawandheardawildyellofapplauseburstfromthepier，andthepierwasmoredistantthantheman.ShesnatchedFlucker’scap，plantedherfootonthegunwale，heldonbyarope，hailedthepoorfellowagain，andwavedthecaproundandroundherhead，togivehimcourage;andinamoment，atthesightofthis，thousandsofvoicesthunderedbacktheircheerstoheracrossthewater.
　　Blow，wind——spring，boat——andyou，Christie，stillringlifetowardthosedespairingearsandwavehopetothosesinkingeyes;cheertheboaton，youthousandsthatlookuponthisaction;hurrah！fromthepier;hurrah！
　　fromthetown;hurrah！fromtheshore;hurrah！now，fromtheveryshipsintheroads，whosecrewsareswarmingontheyardstolook;fiveminutesagotheylaughedatyou;threethousandeyesandheartshanguponyounow;ay，thesearethemomentswelivefor！
　　Andnowdeadsilence.Theboatiswithinfiftyyards，theyareallthreeconsultingtogetherroundthemast;anerrornowisdeath;hisforeheadonlyseemsabovewater.
　　"Iftheymisshimonthattack？"saidLordIpsden，significantly，toListon.
　　"He’llneverseeLondonBriggagain，"wasthewhisperedreply.
　　Theycarriedontillallonshorethoughttheywouldrunoverhim，orpasthim;butno，attenyardsdistanttheywereallatthesail，andhaditdownlikelightning;andthenFluckersprangtothebows，theotherboytothehelm.
　　Unfortunately，therewerebuttwoJohnstonesintheboat;andthisboy，inhishurry，actuallyputthehelmtoport，insteadoftostarboard.
　　Christie，whostoodamidships，sawtheerror;shesprangaft，flungtheboyfromthehelmandjammedithard—a—starboardwithherfoot.Theboatansweredthehelm，buttoolateforFlucker;themanwasfouryardsfromhimastheboatdriftedby.
　　"He’sadeedmon！"criedListon，onshore.
　　Theboat’slengthgaveonemorelittlechance;theafter—partmustdriftnearerhim——thankstoChristie.Fluckerflewaft;flunghimselfonhisback，andseizedhissister’spetticoats.
　　"Flingyourselfowerthegunwale，"screamedhe."Ye’llnohurt;I’sehaudye."
　　Sheflungherselfboldlyoverthegunwale;themanwassinking，hernailstouchedhishair，herfingersentangledthemselvesinit，shegavehimapowerfulwrenchandbroughthimalongside;theboyspinnedhimlikewild—cats.
　　Christiedartedawayforwardtothemast，passedaroperoundit，threwittheboys，inamomentitwasunderhisshoulders.Christiehauledonitfromtheforethwart，theboysliftedhim，andtheytumbledhim，gaspingandgurglinglikeadyingsalmon，intothebottomoftheboat，andflungnetandjacketsandsailoverhimtokeepthelifeinhim.
　　Ah！drawyourbreathallhandsatseaandashore，anddon’ttryitagain，younggentleman，fortherewasnothingtospare;whenyouweremissedatthebowtwostoutheartsquiveredforyou;LordIpsdenhidhisfaceinhistwohands，SandyListongaveagroan，and，whenyouweregrabbedastern，jumpedoutofhisboatandcried：
　　"Agillo’whiskyforonyfavor，forit’sturnedmeasseeckasadoeg."
　　Headded："Hemayblessyonlassie’sfowrbanes，forshe’sta’enhimooto’Death’smaw，assureasGude’sinheaven！"
　　LadyBarbara，whohadallherlifebeenlongingtoseeperilousadventures，prayedandtrembledandcriedmostpiteously;andLordIpsden’sbackwastoher，andhepaidnoattentiontohervoice;butwhenthebattlewaswon，andLordIpsdenturnedandsawher，sheclungtohisarmanddriedhertears;andthentheOldTowncheeredtheboat，andtheNewTowncheeredtheboat，andthetownscheeredeachother;andtheJohnstones，ladandlass，settheirsail，andsweptbackintriumphtothepier;sothenLadyBarbara’sbloodmountedandtingledinherveinslikefire."Oh，hownoble！"criedshe.
　　"Yes，dearest，"saidIpsden."Youhaveseensomethinggreatdoneatlast;
　　andbyawoman，too！"
　　"Yes，"saidBarbara，"howbeautiful！oh！howbeautifulitallis;onlythenextoneIseeIshouldlikethedangertobeoverfirst，thatisall."
　　TheboysandChristie，themomenttheyhadsavedGatty，upsailagainforNewhaven;theylandedinaboutthreeminutesatthepier.
　　TIME.FromNewhaventowntopieronfoot：1m.30sec.Firsttack：5m.
　　30sec.Secondtack，andgettinghimonboard：4m.0sec.Backtothepier，goingfree：3m.30sec.
　　Total：14m.30sec.
　　Theycameintothepier，Christiesittingquietlyonthethwartafterherwork，theboysteering，andFluckerstandingagainstthemast，handsinhispockets;thedeportmentthisyounggentlemanthoughtfittoassumeonthisoccasionwas"completeapathy";hecameintoportwiththeairofonebringinghometheordinaryresultsofhisday’sfishing;thiswas，I
　　suppose，toimpressthespectatorswiththenotionthatsavingliveswasanevery—dayaffairwithLaFamilleJohnstone;asforGatty，hecametohimselfunderhisheapofnetsandjacketsandspokeoncebetweenDeath’sjawandthepier.
　　"Beautiful！"murmuredhe，andwassilent.Themeaningofthisobservationnevertranspired，andneverwillinthisworld.Sixmonthsafterward，beingsubjectedtoasearchinginterrogatory，hestatedthathehadalludedtothemajestyandfreedomofacertain_pose_Christiehadadoptedwhilehailinghimfromtheboat;but，reader，ifhehadwantedyouandmetobelieveitwasthis，heshouldnothavebeenhalfayearfindingitout——_increduliodimus！_Theylanded，andChristiesprangonshore;whileshewaswendingherwaythroughthecrowd，impededbygreetingsandacclamations，witheverynowandthenalasswavingherkerchieforaladhisbonnetovertheheroine’shead，poorMrs.GattywasreceivingtheattentionoftheNewTown;theybroughtherto，theytoldherthegoodnews——shethankedGod.
　　Thewholestoryhadspreadlikewildfire;theyexpostulatedwithher，theytoldhernowwasthetimetoshowshehadaheart，andblesstheyoungpeople.
　　Sherewardedthemwithavaluableprecept.
　　"Mindyourownbusiness！"saidshe.
　　"Hech！y’areadourwife！"criedNewhaven.
　　Thedourwifebenthereyesontheground.
　　Thepeoplewerestillcollectedatthefootofthestreet，buttheywerenowinknots，whenindashedFlucker，arrivingbyashortcut，andcrying："Shedoesnaken，shedoesnaken，shewasowermoedesttolook，Idaursay，andye’llnotellher，forhe’sablackguard，an’he’sjustmakingafuleo’thepuirlass，andifshekenswhatshehasdoneforhim，she’llbefondero’himthanacoowo’hercauf."
　　"Oh，Flucker！wemauntellher，it’sherlad，herainlad，shesaved，"
　　expostulatedawoman.
　　"Didevermyfeytherdoagoodturntillye？"criedFlucker."Awel，then，ye’llnotellthelassie，she’sweelassheis;he’sgaunt’Ennglandtheday.Icanniegieyea’ahidin’，"saidhe，withaneyethatflashedvolumesofgoodintentiononahundredandfiftypeople;"butIamfeytherlessandmotherless，an’Icanfa’onmykneesan’curseyea’ifyedoussicanillturn，an’thenye’llseewhetherye’llthrive."
　　"We’llnotell，Flucker，yeneednacurseusonyway."
　　Hislordship，withallthesharpauthorityofaskipper，orderedMasterFluckertothepier，withamessagetotheyacht;Flucker_qua_yachtsmanwasamachine，andwentasamatterofcourse."Iamdeterminedtotellher，"saidLordIpsdentoLadyBarbara.
　　"But，"remonstratedLadyBarbara，"thepoorboysayshewillcurseusifwedo."
　　"Hewon’tcurseme."
　　"Howdoyouknowthat？"
　　"Becausethelittleblackguard’sgrogwouldbestoppedonboardtheyachtifhedid."
　　Fluckerhadnotbeengonemanyminutesbeforeloudcheeringwasheard，andChristieJohnstoneappearedconvoyedbyalargedetachmentoftheOldTown;shehadtriedtoslipaway，buttheywouldnotlether.TheyconvoyedherintriumphtilltheysawtheNewTownpeople，andthentheyturnedandlefther.
　　Shecameinamongthegroups，achangedwoman——herpallorandherlistlessnessweregone——theoldlightwasinhereye，andthebrightcolorinhercheek，andsheseemedhardlytotouchtheearth.
　　"I’mjustdroukit，lasses，"criedshe，gayly，wringinghersleeve.Everyeyewasuponher;didsheknow，ordidshenotknow，whatshehaddone？
　　LordIpsdensteppedforward;thepeopletacitlyacceptedhimasthevehicleoftheircuriosity.
　　"Whowasit，Christie？"
　　"Idinnaken，formypairt！"
　　Mrs.Gattycameoutofthehouse.
　　"Ahandsomeyoungfellow，Ihope，Christie？"resumedLordIpsden.
　　"YemaunaskFlucker，"wasthereply."Icouldnotakmucklenotice，yeken，"puttingherhandbeforehereye，andhalfsmiling.
　　"Well！Ihearheisverygood—looking;andIhearyouthinkso，too."
　　Sheglidedtohimandlookedinhisface.Hegaveameaningsmile.Thepoorgirllookedquiteperplexed.Suddenlyshegaveaviolentstart.
　　"Christie！whereisChristie？"hadcriedawell—knownvoice.Hehadlearnedonthepierwhohadsavedhim——hehadslippedupamongtheboatstofindher——hecouldnotfindhishat——hecouldnotwaitforit——hisdrippinghairshowedwherehehadbeen——itwasherlovewhomshehadjustsavedoutofDeath’sveryjaws.
　　Shegaveacryoflovethatwentthrougheveryheart，highorlow，youngorold，thatheardit.Andshewenttohim，throughtheairitseemed;
　　but，quickasshewas，anotherwasasquick;themotherhadseenhimfirst，andshewasthere.Christiesawnothing.Withanothercry，theverykeynoteofhergreatandlovingheart，sheflungherarmsround——Mrs.Gatty，whowasonthesameerrandasherself.
　　"Heartsarenotsteel，andsteelisbent;Heartsarenotflint，andflintisrent."
　　TheoldwomanfeltChristietouchher.Sheturnedfromhersoninamomentandweptuponherneck.Herlovertookherhandandkissedit，andpressedittohisbosom，andtriedtospeaktoher;butallhecoulddowastosobandchoke——andkissherhandagain.
　　"Mydaughter！"sobbedtheoldwoman.
　　AtthatwordChristieclaspedherquickly;andthenChristiebegantocry.
　　"Iamnotastone，"criedMrs.Gatty.
　　"Igavehimlife;butyouhavesavedhimfromdeath.Oh，Charles，nevermakeherrepentwhatshehasdoneforyou."
　　Shewasawoman，afterall;andprudenceandprejudicemeltedlikesnowbeforeherheart.
　　Therewerenotmanydryeyes——leastofalltheheroicLadyBarbara’s.
　　Thethreewhomamomenthadmadeonewerebecomingcalmer，andtakingoneanother’shandsforlife，whenadiabolicalsoundarose——andwhatwasitbutSandyListon，who，afterfuriousresistance，wasblubberingwithexplosivebutshort—livedviolence？Havingdoneit，hewasthefirsttodraweverybody’sattentiontothephenomenon;andaffectingtoconsideritapurelyphysicalattack，likea_coupdesoleil，_orsoon，heproceededinstantlytoDrysel’sforhispanacea.
　　LadyBarbaraenjoinedLordIpsdentowatchthesepeople，andnottoloseawordtheysaid;and，aftershehadinsisteduponkissingChristie，shewentofftohercarriage.Andshetoowassohappy，shecriedthreedistincttimesonherwaytoEdinburgh.
　　LordIpsden，havingremindedGattyofhisengagement，beggedhimtoaddhismotherandChristietotheparty，andescortedLadyBarbaratoherphaeton.
　　Sothenthepeopledispersedbydegrees.
　　"Thatoldlady’sfaceseemsfamiliartome，"saidLordIpsden，ashestoodonthelittlenaturalplatformbythe"Peacock.""Doyouknowwhosheis，Saunders？"
　　"ItisPeggy，thatwascookinyourlordship’suncle’stime，mylord.Shemarriedagreen—grocer，"addedSaunders，withaninjuredair.
　　"Hech！hech！"criedFlucker，"Christiehasta’enupherheadwi’acook’sson."
　　Mrs.Gattywasusheredintothe"Peacock"withmockcivilitybyMr.
　　Saunders.Norecognitiontookplace，eachbeingashamedoftheotherasanacquaintance.
　　Thenextarrivalwasabeautifulyoungladyinablacksilkgown，aplainbutduck—likeplaidshawl，whoprovedtobeChristieJohnstone，inherSundayattire.
　　Whentheymet，Mrs.Gattygavealittlescreamofjoy，andsaid："Oh，mychild;ifIhadseenyouinthatdress，Ishouldneverhavesaidawordagainstyou."
　　"Parsminimaestipsapuellasui！"
　　Hislordshipsteppeduptoher，tookoffhishat，andsaid："WillMrs.
　　Gattytakefrommeacommissionfortwopictures，asbigasherself，andasbonny？"addedhe，doingalittleScotch.Hehandedheracheck;and，turningtoGatty，added，"Atyourconvenience，sir，_bienentendu."_
　　"Hech！it’sforfivehundredpund，Chairles."
　　"Goodgeargangsinlittlebook，"*saidJean.
　　*Bulk.
　　"Ay，doesit，"repliedFlucker，assumingthecompliment.
　　"Mylord！"saidtheartist，"youtreatArtlikeaprince;andsheshalltreatyoulikeaqueen.Whenthesuncomesoutagain，Iwillworkforyouandfame.Youshallhavetwothingspainted，everystrokeloyallyinthesunlight.InspiteofgloomywinterandgloomierLondon，IwilltryifI
　　can’thangnatureandsummeronyourwallsforever.Asforme，youknowI
　　mustgotoGerardDowandCuyp，andPierredeHoogh，whenmylittlesandisrun;butmyhandwritingshallwarmyourchildren’schildren’shearts，sir，whenthishandisdust."Hiseyeturnedinward，hewalkedtoandfro，andhiscompanionsdiedoutofhissight——hewasinthekingdomofart.
　　HislordshipandJeanenteredthe"Peacock，"followedbyFlucker，whomerelylingeredatthedoortomoralizeasfollows：
　　"Hech！hech！isnathaatlamentable？Christie’smon’sasdaftasadrunkweaver."
　　Butonestayedquietlybehind，andassumedthatmomenttheofficeofherlife.
　　"Ay！"heburstoutagain，"theresourcesofourartarestillunfathomed！
　　Picturesareyettobepaintedthatshallrefreshmen’sinnersouls，andhelptheirheartsagainsttheartificialworld;andcharmthefiendaway，likeDavid’sharp！！Theworld，aftercenturiesoflies，willgivenatureandtruthatrial.Whataparadiseartwillbe，whentruths，insteadoflies，shallbetoldonpaper，onmarble，oncanvas，andontheboards！！！"
　　"Dinner’sontheboarrd，"murmuredChristie，alludingtoLordIpsden’sbreakfast;"andIhaethechargeo’ye，"pullinghissleevehardenoughtodestroytheequilibriumofaflea.
　　"Thendon’tletuswasteourtimehere.Oh，Christie！"
　　"Whatest，myladdy？"
　　"I’msopreciouslyhungry！！！！"
　　"C—way*then！"
　　*Comeaway.
　　Offtheyran，handinhand，sparksofbeauty，loveandhappinessflyingallaboutthem.
　　CHAPTERXVII.
　　"THEREisnothingbutmeetingandpartinginthisworld！"andyoumaybesuretheincongruouspersonagesofourtalecouldnotlongbetogether.
　　Theirseparatepathshadmetforaninstantinonefocus，furnishedthenandtherethematterofaneccentricstory，andthendivergedforever.
　　Ourliveshaveageneralcurrent，andalsoanepisodeortwo;andtheepisodesofacommonplacelifeareoftenratherstartling;inlikemannerthistaleisnotaspecimen，butanepisodeofLordIpsdenandLadyBarbara，whosoonafterthismarriedandlivedliketherestofthe_beaumonde._Insodoing，theypassedoutofmyhands;suchaswishtoknowhowviscountsandviscountessesfeedandsleep，anddothedomestic（socalled），andthesocial（socalled），arereferredtothefashionablenovel.ToMr.Saunders，forinstance，whohasinthepressoneofthosecerberus—leviathansoffiction，socommonnow;incredibleasfoliotofutureages.Saunderswilltakeyoubythehand，andleadyouovercarpetstwoinchesthick——underrosycurtains——todinner—tables.Hewill_fete_you，andoperayou，anddazzleyouryoungimaginationwith_e’p’ergnes，_andsalvers，andbuhlandormolu.Nofishwivesorpaintersshallintrudeuponhispolishedscenes;allshallbeasgenteelashimself.Saundersisagoodauthority;heismoreinthesociety，andfarmoreintheconfidenceofthegreat，thanmostfashionablenovelists.Mr.
　　Saunders’sworkwillbeinthreevolumes;ninehundredandninetypages！！！！！！
　　Inotherwords，thissingleworkofthisingeniouswriterwillequalinbulktheaggregateofallthewritingsextantbyMoses，David，Solomon，Isaiah，andSt.Paul！！！
　　Ishallnotventureintocompetitionwiththisbehemothofthe_salon;_I
　　willevaporateinthingeneralities.
　　LordIpsdenthenlivedveryhappilywithLadyBarbara，whoseherohestraightwaybecame，andwhonoblyandpoeticallydotesuponhim.Hehasgoneintopoliticallifetopleaseher，andwillremainthere——topleasehimself.TheywerebothverygratefultoNewhaven;whentheymarriedtheyvowedtovisitittwiceayear，andmingleafortnight’ssimplelifewithitssimplescenes;butfouryearshavepassed，andtheyhaveneverbeenthereagain，andIdaresayneverwill;butwhenViscountIpsdenfallsinwithabrotheraristocratwhoiscrushedbythefiend_ennui，_heremembersAberford，andcondenseshisfamousrecipeintoatwo—edgedhexameter，whichwillmakemylearnedreaderlaugh，foritisfullofwisdom：
　　"Diluculosurgas！miserissuccurrerediscas！！"
　　FluckerJohnstonemeditatedduringbreakfastuponthefivehundredpounds，andregrettedhehadnotyearsagoadoptedMr.Gatty’sprofession;somedaysafterwardheinvitedhissistertoaconference.
　　Chairsbeingset，Mr.Fluckerlaiddownthisobservation，thatnearrelationsshouldbedeucedcarefulnottocastdiscreditupononeanother;thatnowhissisterwastobealady，itwasrepugnanttohissenseofrighttobeafishermanandmakeherladyshipblushforhim;onthecontrary，hefeltithisdutytorisetosuchhighconsiderationthatsheshouldbeproudofhim.
　　Christieacquiescedatonceinthisposition，butprofessedherselfembarrassedtoknowhowsucha"ne’er—do—weel"wastobemadeasourceofpride;thenshekissedFlucker，andsaid，inatonesomewhatinconsistentwiththeabove，"Tellme，mylaamb！"
　　Herlambinformedherthattheseahasmanypaths;someofthemdisgraceful，suchaslineornetfishing，andtheperiodicallayingdown，onrockyshoals，andtakingupagain，oflobster—creels;others，superiortoanythingthedrylandcanofferinimportanceanddignityandgeneralestimation，suchasthecommandofamerchantvesseltradingtotheEastorWestIndies.Herlambthensuggestedthatifshewouldbesogoodastolaunchhiminthemerchant—service，withagoodrigofclothesandmoneyinhispocket，therewasthatinhisheadwhichwouldenablehimtoworktowindwardofmostofhiscontemporaries.Hebadehercalculateuponthefollowingresults：Inayearortwohewouldbesecondmate，andnextyearfirstmate，andinafewyearsmoreskipper！Thinkofthat，lass！Skipperofavessel，whoserighegenerouslylefthissisterfreetodetermine;premisingthattwomastswere，inhistheoryofnavigation，indispensable，andthatthreewereagreatdealmorelikeCockerthantwo.Thisledtoageneralconsultation;Flucker’sambitionwasdiscussedandpraised.Thatmodestyounggentleman，inspiteofmanyinjunctionstothecontrary，communicatedhissister’splansforhimtoLordIpsden，andaffectedtodoubttheirprudence.Thebaittook;LordIpsdenwrotetohismanofbusiness，andanunexpectedblowfellupontheingeniousFlucker.
　　Hewassenttoschool;theretolearnalittleastronomy，alittlenavigation，alittleseamanship，alittlemanners，etc.;inthemysteriesofreadingandwritinghissisterhadalreadyperfectedhimbydintof"thetaws."Thisschoolwasablow;butFluckerwasnofool;hesawtherewasnowayofgettingfromschooltoseawithoutworking.Soheliterallyworkedouttosea.Hisfirstvoyagewasdistinguishedbythefollowingpeculiarities：Attemptstoputtricksuponthisparticularnovicegenerallyendedinthelaughturningagainsttheexperimenters;andinsteadofdrinkinghisgrog，whichhehates，hesecretedit，andsolditforvariousadvantages.Hehasbeennowfourvoyages.Whenhecomesashore，insteadofgoingtohauntsoffollyandvice，heinstantlybearsupforhissister’shouse——KensingtonGravel—pits——whichhemakesinthefollowingmanner：Hegoesuptheriver——Heavenknowswhereall——thishecallsrunningdownthelongitude;thenhelands，andbearsdownupontheGravel—pits;inparticularknowledgeofthenamesofstreetsheisdeficient，butheknowstheexactbearingsofChristie’sdwelling.Hetacksandwearsaccordingasmasonrycompelshim，andhearrivesatthegate.Hehailsthehouse，inavoicethatbringsalltheinhabitantsoftherowtotheirwindows，includingChristie;heisfallenuponanddraggedintothehouse.Thefirstthingis，hedrawsoutfromhisboots，andhisback，andotherhiding—places，ChinacrapeandmarveloussilkhandkerchiefsforChristie;andshetakesfromhispocketamassofOrientalsugar—plums，withwhich，butforthisprecaution，sheknowsbyexperiencehewouldpoisonyoungCharley;andsoonheistobeseensittingwithhishandinhissister’s，andshelooknglikeamotheruponhishandsome，weather—beatenface，andGattyopposite，adoringhimasaspecimenofmalebeauty，andsometimesmakingfurtivesketchesofhim.
　　Andthenthetaleshealwaysbringswithhim;thehouseisneververydull，butitislivelierthaneverwhenthisinexhaustiblesailorcastsanchorinit.
　　Thefriends（chieflyartists）whousedtoleaveat9：30，staytilleleven;foranintelligentsailorisbettercompanythantwolawyers，twobishops，threesoldiers，andfourwritersofplaysandtales，allrolledtogether.AndstillhetellsChristieheshallcommandavesselsomeday，andleadshertothemostcheeringinferencesfromthefactofhisprudenceandhisgeneralwidth—awake;inparticularhebidshercontrastwithhimthegeneralfateofsailors，eatenupbyland—sharks，particularlyofthefemalegender，whomhedemonstratestobetheworstenemiespoorJackhas;hecallsthesesunkenrocks，fire—shipsandothermetaphors.Heconcludesthus："YouareallthelassImeantohavetillI’maskipper，andthenI’llbearupalongsidesomepretty，decentlass，likeyourself，Christie，andwe’llsailincompanyallourlives，letthewindblowhighorlow."SuchisthegraciousFluckerbecomeinhistwentiethyear.Lastvoyage，withChristie’said，heproducedasextantofhisown，and"madeittwelveo’clock"（withthesun’sconsent，I
　　hope），andtheeyesofauthorityfelluponhim.So，whoknows？perhapshemayoneday，sailaship;and，ifhedoes，hewillbeprouderandhappierthanifwemadehimmonarchoftheglobe.
　　Toreturntoourchiefs;Mrs.Gattygaveherformalconsenttoherson’smarriagewithChristieJohnstone.
　　Therewereexamples.Aristocracyhaderenowcondescendedtowealth;
　　earlshadmarriedwomenrichbytallow—importingpapas;andnodoubt，hadthesesameearlsbeenconsultedinGatty’scase，theywouldhavedecidedthatChristieJohnstone，withherrealandfundedproperty，wasnotavillainousmatchforagreengrocer’sson，withoutarapp;*butMrs.
　　Gattydidnotreasonso，didnotreasonatall，luckily，herheartranawaywithherjudgment，and，herjudgmentceasingtoact，shebecameawisewoman.
　　*AdiminutiveGermancoin.
　　Thecasewaspeculiar.Gattywasaartist_pursang_——andChristie，whowouldnothavebeenthewifefora_petitmaitre，_wasthewifeofwivesforhim.
　　Hewantedabeautifulwifetoembellishhiscanvas，disfiguredhithertobyaninjudiciousselectionofmodels;avirtuouswifetobehiscrown;aprudentwifetosavehimfromruin;acheerfulwifetosustainhisspirits，droopingattimesbyvirtueofhisartist’stemperament;anintellectualwifetopreservehischildrenfrombeingborndoltsandbreddunces，andtokeephisownmindfromsharpeningtoonepoint，andsocontractingandbecomingmonomaniacal.Andhefoundallthesequalities，togetherwiththesunandmoonofhumanexistence——trueloveandtruereligion——inChristieJohnstone.
　　Insimilarcases，foolishmenhavesettoworktomake，insixmonths，theirdiamondofnature，theexactcutandglossofothermen’spastes，and，nervouslywatchingtheprocess，havesufferedtorture;luckilyCharlesGattywasnotwiseenoughforthis;hesawnaturehaddistinguishedherhelovedbeyondherfellows;here，aselsewhere，hehadfaithinnature——hebelievedthatChristiewouldcharmeverybodyofeye，andear，andmind，andheart，thatapproachedher;headmiredherasshewas，andlefthertopolishherself，ifshechose.Hedidwell;shecametoLondonwithafinemind，abroadbrogue，adelicateear;sheobservedhowherhusband’sfriendsspoke，andinaveryfewmonthsshehadtoneddownherScotchtoarichIoniccoloring，whichherwomanlyinstinctwillneverletherexchangeforthethin，vinegaraccentsthataretooprevalentinEnglishandFrenchsociety;andinotherrespectsshecaught，byeasygradation，thetoneofthenewsocietytowhichhermarriageintroducedher，without，however，losinghercharmingself.
　　Thewisedowagerlodgeshardby，havingresistedaninvitationtobeinthesamehouse;shecomestothathousetoassisttheyoungwifewithherexperience，andtobewelcome——nottointerfereeveryminute，andteaseher;shelovesherdaughter—in—lawalmostasmuchasshedoesherson，andsheishappybecausehebidsfairtobeanimmortalpainter，and，aboveall，agentleman;andshe，awifelywife，amotherlymother，and，aboveall，alady.
　　This，then，isahappycouple.Theirlifeisfullofpurposeandindustry，yetlightenedbygayety;theygotooperas，theatersandballs，fortheyareyoung.Theyhaveplentyofsociety，realsociety，nottheill—assortedcollectionofapredeterminednumberofbodies，thatblindlyassumesthatname，buttherichcommunicationofvariousandfertileminds;theyvery，veryseldomconsenttosquatfourmortalhoursononechair（likeoldharesstiffeningintheirhotforms），andnibbling，sippingandtwaddlinginfourmortalhourswhatcouldhavebeeneaten，drunkenandsaidinthirty—fiveminutes.Theyarebothartistsatheart，anditshockstheirnaturestoseefolksmixsoverylargelythe_inutile_withthe_insipidum，_andwaste，atonehugebutbarrenincubation，thesoul，andthestomach，andtheirrevocablehours，thingswithwhichsomuchistobedone.Buttheyhavemanydesirableacquaintances，andnotafewfriends;thelatteraremostlyloversoftruthintheirseveraldepartments，andinallthings.Amongthemarepainters，sculptors，engineers，writers，conversers，thinkers;theseacknowledging，eveninEngland，othergodsbesidestheintestines，meetoften_chez_Gatty，chieflyformentalintercourse;acupofteawithsuchisfound，byexperience，tobebetterthanastalledelkwherechit—chatreignsovertheprostratehours.
　　This，then，isahappycouple;theverypigeonsandthecrowsneednotblushforthenestatKensingtonGravel—pits.TherethedivineinstitutionMarriagetakesitsnaturalcolors，anditisatoncepleasantandgoodtocatchsuchglimpsesofHeaven’sdesign，andsadtothinkhowoftenthisgreatboon，accordedbyGodtomanandwoman，musthavebeenabusedandperverted，ereitcouldhavesunktobethestandingbuttoffarce—writers，andthethemeofweeklypunsters.
　　Inthispairweseethewondersamaleandfemalecandoforeachotherinthesweetbondofholywedlock.Inthatblessedrelationalonetwointerestsarereallyone，andtwoheartsliesafeatanchorsidebyside.
　　ChristieandCharlesarefriends——fortheyaremanandwife.
　　ChristieandCharlesareloversstill——fortheyaremanandwife.
　　ChristieandCharlesareoneforever——fortheyaremanandwife.
　　Thiswifebrightensthehouse，fromkitchentogarret，forherhusband;
　　thishusbandworkslikeakingforhiswife’scomfort，andforhisownfame——andthatfameishiswife’sglory.Whenoneoftheseexpressesorhintsawish，theother’sfirstimpulseistofindthemeans，nottheobjections.
　　Theysharealltroubles，and，bysharing，halvethem.
　　Theyshareallpleasures，and，bysharing，doublethem.
　　Theyclimbthehilltogethernow，andmanyacantydaytheyshallhavewithoneanother;andwhen，bytheinevitablelaw，theybegintodescendtowardthedarkvalley，theywillstillgohandinhand，smilingsotenderly，andsupportingeachotherwithacaremorelovelythanwhenthearmwasstrongandthefootfirm.
　　Onthesetwotemperatelivesoldagewilldescendlightly，gradually，gently，andlate——andlateupontheseevergreenhearts，becausetheyarenottunedtosomeselfish，isolatedkey;theseheartsbeatandringwiththeyoungheartsoftheirdearchildren，andyearshencepapaandmammawillbeginlifehopefully，wishfully，warmlyagainwitheachlovednoviceinturn.
　　Andwhenoldagedoescome，itwillbenocalamitytothese，asitistoyou，poorbatteredbeau，laughedatbythefairninnieswhoerstlaughedwithyou;toyou，poorfollowerofsalmon，fox，andpheasant，whosejointsarestiffening，whosenerveisgone——whoseGolgotharemains;toyou，poorfadedbeauty，whohavestakedalluponman’sappetite，andnotaccumulatedgoodnessorsenseforyoursecondcourse;toyou，poordrawing—roomwit，whosesarcasmhasturnedtovenomandisturningtodrivel.
　　Whatterrorshasoldageforthishappypair？itcannotmakethemugly，for，thoughthepurplelightofyouthrecedes，anewkindoftranquilbeauty，thealoe—blossomofmanyyearsofinnocence，comesto，andsitslikeadoveupon，theagedfaces，wheregoodness，sympathyandintelligencehaveharboredtogethersolong;andwhereevilpassionshaveflitted（forweareallhuman），butfoundnoresting—place.
　　Oldageisnocalamitytothem.Itcannotterrifythem;foreretheyhadbeenmarriedaweekthewomantaughttheman，loveroftruth，tosearchforthehighestandgreatesttruthsinabookwrittenformen’ssoulsbytheAuthoroftheworld，thesea，thestars，thesun，thesoul;andthisbook，_Deigratia，_will，asthegoodbishopsings，"TeachthemtolivethattheymaydreadThegraveaslittleastheirbed."
　　Itcannotmakethemsad，for，ereitcomeslovedsoulswillhavegonefromearthandfromtheirtenderbosom，butnotfromtheirmemories;andwillseemtobeckonthemnowacrossthecoldvalleytothegoldenland.
　　Itcannotmakethemsad，foronearththehappiestmustdrinkasorrowfulcupmorethanonceinalonglife，andsotheirbrightesthopeswillhavecometodwellhabituallyonthingsbeyondthegrave;andthegreatpainter，_jamSenex，_willchieflymeditateuponaricherlandscapeandbrighterfiguresthanhumanhandhaseverpainted;ascenewhoseglorieshecanseefromhencebutbyglimpsesandthroughaglassdarkly;thegreatmeadowsontheothersideofJordan，whicharebrightwiththespiritsofthejustthatwalkthere，andarewarmedwithaneternalsun，andringwiththetriumphofthehumbleandthetrue，andthepraisesofGodforever.