grewshame-facedaboutthematter,andfearedtoencounteralooking-glass。Butmotherwasveryproud,andsaidshenevercouldhavetoomuchofme。
Theworstofalltomakemeashamedofbearingmyheadsohigh——athingIsawnowaytohelp,forInevercouldhangmychindown,andmybackwaslikeagatepostwheneverItriedtobendit——theworstofallwasourlittleEliza,whonevercouldcometoasizeherself,thoughshehadthewinefromtheSacramentatEasterandAllhallowmas,onlytobesmallandskinny,sharp,andclevercrookedly。Notthatherbodywasoutofthestraightbeingtoosmallforthatperhaps,butthatherwitwasfullofcorners,jagged,andstrange,anduncomfortable。Younevercouldtellwhatshemightsaynext;andIlikenotthatkindofwomen。NowGodforgivemefortalkingsoofmyownfather’sdaughter,andsomuchthemorebyreasonthatmyfathercouldnothelpit。Therightwayistofacethematter,andthenbesorryforeveryone。Mymotherfellgrievouslyonaslide,whichJohnFryhadmadenightheapple-roomdoor,andhiddenwithstrawfromthestable,tocoverhisowngreatidleness。MyfatherlaidJohn’snoseontheice,andkepthimwarminspiteofit;butitwastoolateforEliza。Shewasbornnextdaywithmoremindthanbody——theworstthingthatcanbefallaman。
ButAnnie,myothersister,wasnowafinefairgirl,beautifultobehold。Icouldlookatherbythefireside,foranhourtogether,whenIwasnottoosleepy,andthinkofmydearfather。Andshewoulddothesamethingbyme,onlywaitthebetweenoftheblazes。Herhairwasdoneupinaknotbehind,butsomewouldfalloverhershoulders;andthedancingofthelightwassweettoseethroughaman’seyelashes。
Thereneverwasafacethatshowedthelightortheshadowoffeeling,asiftheheartweresuntoit,morethanourdearAnnie’sdid。Tolookathercarefully,youmightthinkthatshewasnotdwellingonanything;
andthenshewouldknowyouwerelookingather,andthoseeyeswouldtellallaboutit。GodknowsthatI
trytobesimpleenough,tokeeptoHismeaninginme,andnotmaketheworstofHischildren。YetoftenhaveIbeenputtoshame,andreadytobitemytongueoff,afterspeakingamissofanybody,andlettingoutmylittleness,whensuddenlymineeyeshavemetthepuresoftgazeofAnnie。
AsfortheDoones,theywerethrivingstill,andnoonetocomeagainstthem;exceptindeedbywordofmouth,towhichtheylentnoheedwhatever。Complaintsweremadefromtimetotime,bothinhighandlowquartersastherankmightbeofthepeoplerobbed,andonceortwiceinthehighestofall,towit,theKinghimself。ButHisMajestymadeagoodjokeaboutitnotmeaninganyharm,Idoubt,andwassomuchpleasedwithhimselfthereupon,thathequiteforgavethemischief。Moreover,themainauthoritieswerealongwayoff;andtheChancellorhadnocattleonExmoor;andasformylordtheChiefJustice,someroguehadtakenhissilverspoons;whereuponhislordshipsworethatneveranothermanwouldhehanguntilhehadthatonebytheneck。ThereforetheDooneswentonastheylisted,andnonesawfittomeddlewiththem。Fortheonlymanwhowouldhavedaredtocometoclosequarterswiththem,thatistosayTomFaggus,himselfwasaquarryforthelaw,ifeveritshouldbeunhooded。Moreover,hehadtransferredhisbusinesstotheneighbourhoodofWantage,inthecountyofBerks,wherehefoundtheclimatedrier,alsogooddownsandcommonsexcellentforgalloping,andricheryeomenthanoursbe,andbetterroadstorobthemon。
Somefolk,whohadwiserattendedtotheirownaffairs,saidthatIbeingsizeablenow,andabletoshootnotbadlyoughttodosomethingagainstthoseDoones,andshowwhatIwasmadeof。ButforatimeIwasverybashful,shakingwhencalleduponsuddenly,andblushingasdeepasamaiden;formystrengthwasnotcomeuponme,andmayhapIhadgrowninfrontofit。
Andagain,thoughIlovedmyfatherstill,andwouldfireatawordabouthim,Isawnothowitwoulddohimgoodformetoharmhisinjurers。Someracesareofrevengefulkind,andwillforyearspursuetheirwrong,andsacrificethisworldandthenextforamoment’sfoulsatisfaction,butmethinksthiscomesofsomeblackblood,pervertedandneverpurified。AndIdoubtbutmenoftrueEnglishbirtharestouterthansotobetwisted,thoughsomeofthewomenmaytakethatturn,iftheirownliferunsunkindly。
Letthatpass——Iamnevergoodattalkingofthingsbeyondme。AllIknowis,thatifIhadmettheDoonewhohadkilledmyfather,Iwouldgladlyhavethrashedhimblackandblue,supposingIwereable;butwouldneverhavefiredagunathim,unlesshebeganthatgamewithme,orfelluponmoreofmyfamily,orwereviolentamongwomen。Andtodothemjustice,mymotherandAnniewereequallykindandgentle,butElizawouldflameandgrowwhitewithcontempt,andnottrustherselftospeaktous。
Nowastrangethingcametopassthatwinter,whenI
wastwenty-oneyearsold,averystrangething,whichaffrightedtherest,andmademefeeluncomfortable。
Notthattherewasanythinginit,todoharmtoanyone,onlythatnonecouldexplainit,exceptbyattributingittothedevil。Theweatherwasverymildandopen,andscarcelyanysnowfell;atanyrate,nonelayontheground,evenforanhour,inthehighestpartofExmoor;athingwhichIknewnotbeforenorsince,aslongasIcanremember。Butthenightswerewonderfullydark,asthoughwithnostarsintheheaven;andalldaylongthemistswererollinguponthehillsanddownthem,asifthewholelandwereawash-house。Themoorlandwasfullofsnipesandteal,andcurlewsflyingandcrying,andlapwingsflappingheavily,andravenshoveringrounddeadsheep;yetnoredshanksnordottrell,andscarceanygoldenploversofwhichwehavegreatstoregenerallybutvastlonelybirds,thatcriedatnight,andmovedthewholeairwiththeirpinions;yetnomaneversawthem。ItwasdismalaswellasdangerousnowforanymantogofowlingwhichoflateIlovedmuchinthewinter
becausethefogwouldcomedownsothickthatthepanofthegunwasreeking,andthefowloutofsighterethepowderkindled,andthenthesoundofthepiecewassodead,thattheshooterfearedharm,andglancedoverhisshoulder。Butthedangerofcoursewasfarlessinthisthaninlosingofthetrack,andfallingintothemires,oroverthebrimofaprecipice。
Nevertheless,Imustneedsgoout,beingyoungandverystupid,andfearedofbeingafraid;afearwhichawisemanhaslongcastby,havinglearnedofthemanifolddangerswhicheverandeverencompassus。Andbesidethisfollyandwildnessofyouth,perchancetherewassomething,Iknownotwhat,ofthejoywehaveinuncertainty。Mother,infearofmymissinghome——thoughforthatmatter,Icouldsmellsupper,whenhungry,throughahundredland-yardsoffog——mydearmother,whothoughtofmetentimesforonethoughtaboutherself,gaveorderstoringthegreatsheep-bell,whichhungabovethepigeon-cote,everytenminutesoftheday,andthesoundcamethroughtheplaitsoffog,andIwasvexedaboutit,likethelettersofacopy-book。Itremindedme,too,ofBlundell’sbell,andthegrieftogointoschoolagain。
Butduringthosetwomonthsoffogforwehaditallthewinter,thesaddestandtheheaviestthingwastostandbesidethesea。Tobeuponthebeachyourself,andseethelongwavescomingin;toknowthattheyarelongwaves,butonlyseeapieceofthem;andtohearthemliftingroundly,swellingoversmoothgreenrocks,plashingdowninthehollowcorners,butbearingonallthesameasever,softandsleekandsorrowful,tilltheirlittlenoiseisover。
OneoldmanwholivedatLynmouth,seekingtobeburiedthere,havingbeenmorethanhalfovertheworld,thoughshytospeakaboutit,andfaintocomehometohisbirthplace,thisoldWillWatcombewhodweltbythewatersaidthatourstrangewinterarosefromathinghecalledthe’Gulf-stream’,rushingupChannelsuddenly。Hesaiditwashotwater,almostfitforamantoshavewith,anditthrewallourcoldwaterout,andruinedthefishandthespawning-time,andacoldspringwouldcomeafterit。IwasfondofgoingtoLynmouthonSundaytohearthisoldmantalk,forsometimeshewoulddiscoursewithme,whennobodyelsecouldmovehim。Hetoldmethatthispowerfulfloodsetinuponourwestsohardsometimesonceintenyears,andsometimesnotforfifty,andtheLordonlyknewthesenseofit;butthatwhenitcame,therewithcamewarmthandclouds,andfog,andmoisture,andnuts,andfruit,andevenshells;andallthetideswerethrownabroad。Asfornutshewinkedawhile,andchewedapieceoftobacco;yetdidInotcomprehendhim。OnlyafterwardsIheardthatnutswithliquidkernelscame,travellingontheGulfstream;forneverbeforewasknownsomuchforeigncordiallandeduponourcoast,floatingashorebymistakeinthefog,andwhatwiththetossingandthemisttoomuchastraytolearnitsduty。
Folk,whoareevertoopronetotalk,saidthatWillWatcombehimselfknewbetterthananybodyelseaboutthisdriftoftheGulf-stream,andtheplaceswhereitwouldcomeashore,andthecavesthattookthein-draught。ButDeWhichehalse,ourgreatmagistrate,certifiedthattherewasnoproofofunlawfulimportation;neithergoodcausetosuspectit,atatimeofChristiancharity。AndweknewthatitwasafoulthingforsomequarrymentosaythatnightafternighttheyhadbeendigginganewcellaratLeyManortoholdthelittlemarksofrespectfoundinthecavernsathigh-waterweed。Letthatbe,itisnoneofmybusinesstospeakevilofdignities;dulywecommonpeoplejokedofthe’Gulp-stream,’aswecalledit。
Butthethingwhichastonishedandfrightenedusso,wasnot,Idoassureyou,thelandingofforeignspirits,northeloomofaluggerattwilightinthegloomofthewintermoonrise。Thatwhichmadeascrouchinbythefire,ordrawthebed-clothesoverus,andtrytothinkofsomethingelse,wasastrangemysterioussound。
Atgreyofnight,whenthesunwasgone,andnoredinthewestremained,neitherwerestarsforthcoming,suddenlyawailingvoicerosealongthevalleys,andasoundintheair,asofpeoplerunning。Itmatterednotwhetheryoustoodonthemoor,orcrouchedbehindrocksawayfromit,ordownamongreedyplaces;allasonethesoundwouldcome,nowfromtheheartoftheearthbeneath,nowoverheadbearingdownonyou。Andthentherewasrushingofsomethingby,andmelancholylaughter,andthehairofamanwouldstandonendbeforehecouldreasonproperly。
God,inHismercy,knowsthatIamstupidenoughforanyman,andveryslowofimpression,norevercouldbringmyselftobelievethatourFatherwouldlettheevilonegettheupperhandofus。ButwhenIhadheardthatsoundthreetimes,inthelonelygloomoftheeveningfog,andthecoldthatfollowedthelinesofair,Iwasloathtogoabroadbynight,evensofarasthestables,andlovedthelightofacandlemore,andtheglowofafirewithcompany。
Thereweremanystoriesaboutit,ofcourse,alloverthebreadthofthemoorland。Butthosewhohadhearditmostoftendeclaredthatitmustbethewailofawoman’svoice,andtherustleofrobesfleeinghorribly,andfiendsinthefoggoingafterher。Tothat,however,Ipaidnoheed,whenanybodywaswithme;onlywedrewmoreclosetogether,andbarredthedoorsatsunset。
Mr。ReubenHuckaback,whommanygoodfolkinDulvertonwillrememberlongaftermytime,wasmymother’suncle,beingindeedhermother’sbrother。Heownedtheverybestshopinthetown,anddidafinetradeinsoftware,especiallywhenthepack-horsescamesafelyinatChristmas-time。Andwebeingnowhisonlykindredexceptindeedhisgranddaughter,littleRuthHuckaback,ofwhomnoonetookanyheed,motherbehelditaChristiandutytokeepaswellascouldbewithhim,bothforloveofaniceoldman,andforthesakeofherchildren。Andtruly,theDulvertonpeoplesaidthathewastherichestmanintheirtown,andcouldbuyuphalfthecountyarmigers;’ay,andifitcametothat,theywouldliketoseeanyman,atBampton,oratWivelscombe,andyoumightsayalmostTaunton,whocouldputdowngoldenJacobusandCarolusagainsthim。
Nowthisoldgentleman——sotheycalledhim,accordingtohismoney;andIhaveseenmanyworseones,moreviolentandlesswealthy——hemustneedscomeawaythattimetospendtheNewYear-tidewithus;notthathewantedtodoitforhehatedcountry-life,butbecausemymotherpressing,asmotherswilldotoagoodbagofgold,hadwrungapromisefromhim;andtheonlyboastofhislifewasthatneveryethadhebrokenhisword,atleastsinceheopenedbusiness。
NowitpleasedGodthatChristmas-timeinspiteofallthefogstosendsafehometoDulverton,andwhatwasmore,withtheirloadsquitesafe,agoodlystringofpackhorses。NearlyhalfoftheirchargewasforUncleReuben,andheknewhowtomakethemostofit。Thenhavingbalancedhisdebitsandcredits,andsetthewritsrunningagainstdefaulters,asbehovesagoodChristianatChristmas-tide,hesaddledhishorse,androdeofftowardsOare,withagoodstoutcoatuponhim,andleavingRuthandhisheadmanplentytodo,andlittletoeat,untiltheyshouldseehimagain。
第15章