’Yes;solelybecauseyoumarriedhimonthedayIwasfreetoaskyoutomarryme。Mywifediedfour-and-twentyhoursbeforeyouwenttochurchwithDowne。Thefixingofmyjourneyatthatparticularmomentwasbecauseofherfuneral;butonceawayIknewIshouldhavenoinducementtocomeback,andtookmystepsaccordingly。’
Herfaceassumedanaspectofgentlereflection,andshelookedupanddownhisformwithgreatinterestinhereyes。’Ineverthoughtofit!’shesaid。’Iknew,ofcourse,thatyouhadonceimpliedsomewarmthoffeelingtowardsme,butIconcludedthatitpassedoff。AndIhavealwaysbeenundertheimpressionthatyourwifewasaliveatthetimeofmymarriage。Wasitnotstupidofme!——Butyouwillhavesometeaorsomething?Ihaveneverdinedlate,youknow,sincemyhusband’sdeath。Ihavegotintothewayofmakingaregularmealoftea。Youwillhavesometeawithme,willyounot?’
Thetravelledmanassentedquitereadily,andteawasbroughtin。
Theysatandchattedoverthemeal,regardlessoftheflyinghour。
’Well,well!’saidBarnetpresently,asforthefirsttimeheleisurelysurveyedtheroom;’howlikeitallis,andyethowdifferent!Justwhereyourpianostandswasaboardonacoupleoftrestles,bearingthepatternsofwall-papers,whenIwaslasthere。
Iwaschoosingthem——standinginthisway,asitmightbe。Thenmyservantcameinatthedoor,andhandedmeanote,so。ItwasfromDowne,andannouncedthatyouwerejustgoingtobemarriedtohim。
Ichosenomorewall-papers——toreupallthoseIhadselected,andleftthehouse。Ineverentereditagaintillnow。’
’Ah,atlastIunderstanditall,’shemurmured。
Theyhadbothrisenandgonetothefireplace。Themantelcamealmostonalevelwithhershoulder,whichgentlyrestedagainstit,andBarnetlaidhishandupontheshelfclosebesidehershoulder。
’Lucy,’hesaid,’betterlatethannever。Willyoumarrymenow?’
Shestartedback,andthesurprisewhichwassoobviousinherwroughtevengreatersurpriseinhimthatitshouldbeso。Itwasdifficulttobelievethatshehadbeenquiteblindtothesituation,andyetallreasonandcommonsensewenttoprovethatshewasnotacting。
’Youtakemequiteunawaresbysuchaquestion!’shesaid,withaforcedlaughofuneasiness。Itwasthefirsttimeshehadshownanyembarrassmentatall。’Why,’sheadded,’Icouldn’tmarryyoufortheworld。’
’Notafterallthis!Whynot?’
’Itis——Iwould——IreallythinkImaysayit——Iwoulduponthewholerathermarryyou,Mr。Barnet,thananyothermanIhaveevermet,ifIeverdreamedofmarriageagain。ButIdon’tdreamofit——itisquiteoutofmythoughts;Ihavenottheleastintentionofmarryingagain。’
’But——onmyaccount——couldn’tyoualteryourplansalittle?Come!’
’DearMr。Barnet,’shesaidwithalittleflutter,’Iwouldonyouraccountifonanybody’sinexistence。Butyoudon’tknowintheleastwhatitisyouareasking——suchanimpracticablething——I
won’tsayridiculous,ofcourse,becauseIseethatyouarereallyinearnest,andearnestnessisneverridiculoustomymind。’
’Well,yes,’saidBarnetmoreslowly,droppingherhand,whichhehadtakenatthemomentofpleading,’Iaminearnest。Theresolve,twomonthsago,attheCape,tocomebackoncemorewas,itistrue,rathersudden,andasIseenow,notwellconsidered。ButIaminearnestinasking。’
’AndIindeclining。Withallgoodfeelingandallkindness,letmesaythatIamquiteopposedtotheideaofmarryingasecondtime。’
’Well,noharmhasbeendone,’heanswered,withthesamesubduedandtenderhumorousnessthathehadshownonsuchoccasionsinearlylife。’Ifyoureallywon’tacceptme,Imustputupwithit,I
suppose。’Hiseyefellontheclockashespoke。’Hadyouanynotionthatitwassolate?’heasked。’HowabsorbedIhavebeen!’
Sheaccompaniedhimtothehall,helpedhimtoputonhisovercoat,andlethimoutofthehouseherself。
’Good-night,’saidBarnet,onthedoorstep,asthelampshoneinhisface。’Youarenotoffendedwithme?’
’Certainlynot。Noryouwithme?’
’I’llconsiderwhetherIamornot,’hepleasantlyreplied。’Good-
night。’
Shewatchedhimsafelythroughthegate;andwhenhisfootstepshaddiedawayupontheroad,closedthedoorsoftlyandreturnedtotheroom。Herethemodestwidowlongponderedhisspeeches,witheyesdroppedtoanunusuallylowlevel。Barnet’surbanityundertheblowofherrefusalgreatlyimpressedher。Afterhavinghislongperiodofprobationrendereduselessbyherdecision,hehadshownnoanger,andhadphilosophicallytakenherwordsasifhedeservednobetterones。Itwasverygentlemanlyofhim,certainly;itwasmorethangentlemanly;itwasheroicandgrand。Themoreshemeditated,themoreshequestionedthevirtueofherconductincheckinghimsoperemptorily;andwenttoherbedroominamoodofdissatisfaction。
Onlookingintheglassshewasremindedthattherewasnotsomuchremainingofherformerbeautyastomakehisfrankdeclarationanimpulsivenaturalhomagetohercheeksandeyes;itmustundoubtedlyhavearisenfromanoldstaunchfeelingofhis,deservingtenderestconsideration。SherecalledtohermindwithmuchpleasurethathehadtoldherhewasstayingattheBlack-BullHotel;sothatif,afterwaitingadayortwo,heshouldnot,inhismodesty,callagain,shemightthensendhimanicelittlenote。Toalterherviewsforthepresentwasfarfromherintention;butshewouldallowherselftobeinducedtoreconsiderthecase,asanygenerouswomanoughttodo。
Themorrowcameandpassed,andMr。Barnetdidnotdropin。Ateveryknock,lightyouthfulhuesflewacrosshercheek;andshewasabstractedinthepresenceofherothervisitors。Intheeveningshewalkedaboutthehouse,notknowingwhattodowithherself;theconditionsofexistenceseemedtotallydifferentfromthosewhichruledonlyfour-and-twentyshorthoursago。Whathadbeenatfirstatantalizingelusivesentimentwasgettingacclimatizedwithinherasadefinitehope,andherpersonwassoinformedbythatemotionthatshemightalmosthavestoodasitsemblematicalrepresentativebythetimetheclockstruckten。Inshort,aninterestinBarnetpreciselyresemblingthatofherearlyyouthledherpresenthearttobelieheryesterday’swordstohim,andshelongedtoseehimagain。
Thenextdayshewalkedoutearly,thinkingshemightmeethiminthestreet。Thegrowingbeautyofherromanceabsorbedher,andshewentfromthestreettothefields,andfromthefieldstotheshore,withoutanyconsciousnessofdistance,tillremindedbyherwearinessthatshecouldgonofurther。Hehadnowhereappeared。
Intheeveningshetookastepwhichunderthecircumstancesseemedjustifiable;shewroteanotetohimatthehotel,invitinghimtoteawithheratsixprecisely,andsigninghernote’Lucy。’
Inaquarterofanhourthemessengercameback。Mr。Barnethadleftthehotelearlyinthemorningofthedaybefore,buthehadstatedthathewouldprobablyreturninthecourseoftheweek。
Thenotewassentback,tobegiventohimimmediatelyonhisarrival。
Therewasnosignfromtheinnthatthisdesiredeventhadoccurred,eitheronthenextdayorthedayfollowing。Onbothnightsshehadbeenrestless,andhadscarcelyslepthalf-an-hour。
OntheSaturday,puttingoffalldiffidence,LucywentherselftotheBlack-Bull,andquestionedthestaffclosely。
Mr。BarnethadcursorilyremarkedwhenleavingthathemightreturnontheThursdayorFriday,buttheyweredirectednottoreservearoomforhimunlessheshouldwrite。
Hehadleftnoaddress。
Lucysorrowfullytookbackhernotewenthome,andresolvedtowait。
Shedidwait——yearsandyears——butBarnetneverreappeared。
ThenorthroadfromCasterbridgeistediousandlonely,especiallyinwinter-time。AlongapartofitscourseitconnectswithLong-
AshLane,amonotonoustrackwithoutavillageorhamletformanymiles,andwithveryseldomaturning。Unapprizedwayfarerswhoaretooold,ortooyoung,orinotherrespectstooweakforthedistancetobetraversed,butwho,nevertheless,havetowalkit,say,astheylookwistfullyahead,’Onceatthetopofthathill,andImustsurelyseetheendofLong-AshLane!’Buttheyreachthehilltop,andLong-AshLanestretchesinfrontasmercilesslyasbefore。
Somefewyearsagoacertainfarmerwasridingthroughthislaneinthegloomofawinterevening。Thefarmer’sfriend,adairyman,wasridingbesidehim。Afewpacesintherearrodethefarmer’sman。
Allthreewerewellhorsedonstrong,round-barrelledcobs;andtobewellhorsedwastobeinbetterspiritsaboutLong-AshLanethanpoorpedestrianscouldattaintoduringitspassage。
Butthefarmerdidnottalkmuchtohisfriendasherodealong。
Theenterprisewhichhadbroughthimtherefilledhismind;forintruthitwasimportant。Notaltogethersoimportantwasit,perhaps,whenestimatedbyitsvaluetosocietyatlarge;butifthetruemeasureofadeedbeproportionatetothespaceitoccupiesintheheartofhimwhoundertakesit,FarmerCharlesDarton’sbusinessto-nightcouldholditsownwiththebusinessofkings。
Hewasalargefarmer。Histurnover,asitiscalled,wasprobablythirtythousandpoundsayear。Hehadagreatmanydraughthorses,agreatmanymilchcows,andofsheepamultitude。Thiscomfortablepositionwas,however,noneofhisownmaking。Ithadbeencreatedbyhisfather,amanofaverydifferentstampfromthepresentrepresentativeoftheline。
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