首页 >出版文学> Vailima Letters>第37章

第37章

  MYDEARCOLVIN,-WehavehadquiteaninterestingmonthandmostlyinconsiderationofthatroadwhichIthinkItoldyouwasabouttobemade。Itwasmadewithoutahitch,thoughI
  confessIwasconsiderablysurprised。Whentheygotthrough,Iwroteaspeechtothem,sentitdowntoaMissionarytobetranslated,andinvitedthelottoafeast。Ithoughtagooddealofthisfeast。Theoccasionwasreallyinteresting。I
  wantedtopitchitinhot。AndIwishedtohaveasmanyinfluentialwitnessespresentaspossible。Well,asitdrewtowardsthedayIhadnothingbutrefusals。Everybodysupposeditwastobeapoliticaloccasion,thatIhadmadeahiveofrebelsuphere,andwasgoingtopushfornewhostilities。
  TheAmanuensishasbeenill,andaftertheabovetrialpeteredout。Imustreturntomyown,loneWaverley。Thecaptainrefused,tellingmewhy;andatlastIhadtobeatupforpeoplealmostwithprayers。However,Igotagoodlot,asyouwillseebytheaccompanyingnewspaperreport。Theroadcontainedthisinscription,drawnupbythechiefsthemselves:
  ’THEROADOFGRATITUDE。’
  ’ConsideringthegreatloveofTusitalainhislovingcareofusinourdistressintheprison,wehavethereforepreparedasplendidgift。Itshallneverbemuddy,itshallendureforever,thisroadthatwehavedug。’Thisthenewspaperreportercouldnotgive,notknowinganySamoan。ThesamereasonexplainshisreferencestoSeumanutafa’sspeech,whichwasnotlongandWASimportant,foritwasaspeechofcourtesyandforgivenesstohisformerenemies。Itwasverymuchapplauded。Secondly,itwasnotPoe,itwasMataafadon’tconfusewithMataafawhospokefortheprisoners。
  Otherwiseitisextremelycorrect。
  Ibegyourpardonforsomuchuponmyaboriginals。Evenyoumustsympathisewithmeinthisunheard-ofcompliment,andmyhavingbeenabletodeliversosevereasermonwithacceptance。ItremainsanicepointofconsciencewhatI
  shouldwishdoneinthematter。Ithinkthismeeting,itsimmediateresults,andthetermsofwhatIsaidtothem,desirabletobeknown。Itwilldoalittlejusticetome,whohavenothadtoomuchjusticedoneme。Atthesametime,tosendthisreporttothepapersistrulyanactofself-
  advertisement,andIdislikethethought。Query,inamanwhohasbeensomuchcalumniated,isthatnotjustifiable?I
  donotknow;bemyjudge。Mankindistoocomplicatedforme;
  evenmyself。DoIwishtoadvertise?IthinkIdo,Godhelpme!Ihavehadhardtimeshere,aseverymanmusthavewhomixesupwithpublicbusiness;andIbemoanmyself,knowingthatallIhavedonehasbeenintheinterestofpeaceandgoodgovernment;andhavingoncedeliveredmymind,Iwouldlikeit,Ithink,tobemadepublic。ButtheotherpartofmeREGIMBS。
  IknowIamataclimactericforallmenwholivebytheirwits,soIdonotdespair。ButthetruthisIamprettynearlyuselessatliterature,andIwillaskyoutospareST。
  IVESwhenitgoestoyou;itisasortofCOUNTROBERTOF
  PARIS。ButIhoperatheraDOMBEYANDSON,tobesucceededbyOURMUTUALFRIENDandGREATEXPECTATIONSandATALEOFTWO
  CITIES。Notoilhasbeensparedovertheungratefulcanvas;
  anditWILLNOTcometogether,andImustlive,andmyfamily。Wereitnotformyhealth,whichmadeitimpossible,IcouldnotfinditinmyhearttoforgivemyselfthatIdidnotsticktoanhonest,common-placetradewhenIwasyoung,whichmighthavenowsupportedmeduringtheseillyears。
  Butdonotsupposemetobedowninanythingelse;only,forthenonce,myskilldesertsme,suchasitis,orwas。Itwasaverylittledoseofinspiration,andaprettylittletrickofstyle,longlost,improvedbythemostheroicindustry。Sofar,Ihavemanagedtopleasethejournalists。
  ButIamafictitiousarticleandhavelongknownit。Iamreadbyjournalists,bymyfellow-novelists,andbyboys;
  withthese,INCIPITETEXPLICITmyvogue。Goodthinganyway!
  foritseemstohavesoldtheEdition。AndIlookforwardconfidentlytoanaftermath;Idonotthinkmyhealthcanbesohugelyimproved,withoutsomesubsequentimprovementinmybrains。Though,ofcourse,thereisthepossibilitythatliteratureisamorbidsecretion,andabhorshealth!IdonotthinkitispossibletohavefewerillusionsthanI。I
  sometimeswishIhadmore。Theyareamusing。ButIcannottakemyselfseriouslyasanartist;thelimitationsaresoobvious。Ididtakemyselfseriouslyasaworkmanofold,butmypracticehasfallenoff。Iamnowanidlerandcumbereroftheground;itmaybeexcusedtomeperhapsbytwentyyearsofindustryandill-health,whichhavetakenthecreamoffthemilk。
  AsIwaswritingthislastsentence,Iheardthestridentraindrawingnearacrosstheforest,andbythetimeIwascometotheword’cream’itburstuponmyroof,andhassinceredoubled,androareduponit。Averywelcomechange。Allsmellsofthegoodwetearth,sweetly,withakindofHighlandtouch;thecrystalrodsoftheshower,asIlookup,havedrawntheircriss-crossovereverything;andagentleandverywelcomecoolnesscomesuparoundmeinlittledraughts,blesseddraughts,notchilling,onlyequalisingthetemperature。Nowtherainisoffinthisspot,butIhearitroaringstillinthenighneighbourhood-andthatmoment,I
  wasdrivenfromtheverandahbyrandomraindrops,spittingatmethroughtheJapaneseblinds。Thesearenottearswithwhichthepageisspotted!Nowthewindowsstream,theroofreverberates。Itisgood;itanswerssomethingwhichisinmyheart;Iknownotwhat;oldmemoriesofthewetmoorlandbelike。
  Well,ithasblownbyagain,andIaminmyplaceoncemore,withanaccompanimentofperpetualdrippingontheverandah-
  andverymuchinclinedforachat。TheexactsubjectIdonotknow!Itwillbebitteratleast,andthatisstrange,formyattitudeisessentiallyNOTbitter,butIhavecomeintothesedayswhenamanseesabovealltheseamyside,andIhavedweltsometimeinasmallplacewherehehasanopportunityofreadinglittlemotivesthathewouldmissinthegreatworld,andindeed,to-day,Iamalmostreadytocalltheworldanerror。Because?BecauseIhavenotdruggedmyselfwithsuccessfulwork,andthereareallkindsoftriflesbuzzinginmyear,unfriendlytrifles,fromtheleasttothe-well,totheprettybig。AllthesethattouchmearePrettyBig;andyetnonetouchmeintheleast,ifrightlylookedat,excepttheoneeternalburthentogoonmakinganincome。IfIcouldfindaplacewhereIcouldliedownandgiveupforsaytwoyears,andallowthesaintedpublictosupportme,ifitwerealunaticasylum,wouldn’tI
  go,just!Butwecan’thavebothextremesatonce,worseluck!Ishouldliketoputmysavingsintoaproprietarianinvestment,andretireinthemeanwhileintoacommunisticretreat,whichisdouble-dealing。Butyoumenwithsalariesdon’tknowhowafamilyweighsonafellow’smind。
  Ihearthearticleinnextweek’sHERALDistobeagreataffair,andalltheofficialswhocametometheotherdayaretobeattacked!Thisistheunpleasantsideofbeingwithoutasalaryinpubliclife;Iwillleaveanyonetojudgeifmyspeechwaswellintended,andcalculatedtodogood。Itwasevendaring-IassureyouoneofthechiefslookedlikeafiendatmydescriptionofSamoanwarfare。
  Yourwarningwasnotneeded;wearealldeterminedtoKEEP
  THEPEACEandtoHOLDOURPEACE。Iknow,mydearfellow,howremoteallthissounds!Kindlypardonyourfriend。Ihavemylifetolivehere;theseinterestsareformeimmediate;
  andifIdonotwriteofthem,Imightassoonnotwriteatall。Thereisthedifficultyinadistantcorrespondence。
  Itisperhapseasyformetoenterintoandunderstandyourinterests;Iownitisdifficultforyou;butyoumustjustwadethroughthemforfriendship’ssake,andtrytofindtolerablewhatisvitalforyourfriend。Icannotforbearchallengingyoutoit,astointellectuallists。Itistheproofofintelligence,theproofofnotbeingabarbarian,tobeabletoenterintosomethingoutsideofoneself,somethingthatdoesnottouchone’snextneighbourinthecityomnibus。
  Good-bye,mylord。Mayyourracecontinueandyouflourish-
  Yoursever,TUSITALA。
  End