Heavenknowswhatdayitis，butIamashamed，allthemoreasyourletterfromBournemouthofallplaces-pooroldBournemouth！-istohand，andcontainsastatementofpleasureinmyletterswhichIwishIcouldhaverewardedwithalongone。Whathasgoneon？Avastofaffairs，ofamingled，strenuous，inconclusive，desultorycharacter；muchwasteoftime，muchridingtoandfro，andlittletransactedoratleastperacted。
　　-KanbaAPp点com-Letmegiveyouareviewofthepresentstateofourlivestock-Sixboysinthebush；sixsoulsaboutthehouse。
　　Talolo，thecook，returnsagainto-day，afteranabsencewhichhascostmeabouttwelvehoursofriding，andIsupposeeighthours’solemnsittingincouncil。’IamsorryindeedfortheChiefJusticeofSamoa，’Isaid；’itismorethanI
　　amfitfortobeChiefJusticeofVailima。’-Lauiloissteward。Boththeseareexcellentservants；wegavealuncheonpartywhenweburiedtheSamoanbones，andIassureyouallwasingoodstyle，yetweneverinterfered。Thefoodwasgood，thewineanddisheswentroundasbymechanism-
　　Steward’sassistantandwashmanArrick，aNewHebrideeblackboy，hiredfromtheGermanfirm；notsouglyasmost，butnotprettyneither；notsodullashissortare，butnotquiteaCrichton。Whenhecamefirst，heatesomuchofourgoodfoodthathegotaprominentbelly。Kitchenassistant，TomasThomasinEnglish，aFijiman，verytallandhandsome，movinglikeamarionettewithsuddenbounds，androllinghiseyeswithsuddeneffort-Washerwomanandprecentor，Helen，Tomas’swife。Thisisourweakpoint；weareashamedofHelen；thecook-houseblushesforher；theymurmurthereatherpresence。Sheseemsallright；sheisnotabad-looking，strappingwench，seemschaste，isindustrious，hasanexcellenttasteinhymns-youshouldhaveheardherreadonealoudtheotherday，shemarkedtherhythmwithsomuchgloating，dissentersentiment。Whatiswrong，then？saysyou。Lowinyourear-anddon’tletthepapersgetholdofit-sheisofnofamily。None，theysay；literallyacommonwoman。Ofcourse，wehaveout-islanders，whoMAYbevilleins；butwegivethemthebenefitofthedoubt，whichisimpossiblewithHelenofVailima；ourblot，ourpittedspeck。
　　ThepittedspeckIhavesaidisourprecentor。ItisalwaysawomanwhostartsSamoansong；themenwhosingseconddonotenterforabarortwo。Poor，dearFaauma，theunchaste，theextrudedEveofourParadise，knewonlytwohymns；butHelenseemstoknowthewholerepertory，andthemorningprayersgofarmorelivelyinconsequence-Lafaele，provostofthecattle。ThecattleareJack，myhorse，quiteconverted，mywiferideshimnow，andheisassteadyasadoctor’scob；TifagaJack，acircushorse，mymother’spiebald，boughtfromapassingcircus；Belle’smare，nowinchildbedornextdoor，confoundtheslut！Musu-amusinglytranslatedtheotherday’don’twantto，’literallycross，butalwaysinthesenseofstubbornnessandresistance-mywife’slittledark-brownmare，withawhitestaronherforehead，whomIhavebeenridingoflatetosteadyher-shehasnovices，butisunused，skittishanduneasy，andwantsalotofattentionandhumouring；lastlyofsaddlehorses
　　Luna-nottheLatinMOON，theHawaiianOVERSEER，butit’spronouncedthesame-aprettylittlemaretoo，butscarceatallbroken，abadbucker，andhastoberiddenwithastock-
　　whipandbebroughtbackwithherrumpcriss-crossedlikeaclantartan；thetwocarthorses，nowonlyusedwithpack-
　　saddles；twocows，oneinthestrawItrustto-morrow，athirdcow，theJersey-whosemilkandtemperarealikesubjectsofadmiration-shegivesgoodexercisetothefarmingsaunterer，andrefresheshimonhisreturnwithcream；twocalves，abull，andacow；Godknowshowmanyducksandchickens，andforawagernotevenGodknowshowmanycats；twelvehorses，sevenhorses，fivekine:isnotthisBabylontheGreatwhichIhavebuilded？CallitSUBPRIORSFORD。
　　Twonightsagotheclubhaditsfirstmeeting；onlytwelvewerepresent，butitwentverywell。Iwasnotthere，Ihadriddendownthenightbeforeafterdinneronmyendlessbusiness，tookacupofteaintheMissionlikeanass，thentookacupofcoffeelikeafoolatHaggard’s，thenfellintoadiscussionwiththeAmericanConsul……IwenttobedatHaggard’s，camesuddenlybroadawake，andlaysleeplessthelivenight。Itfellchill，Ihadonlyasheet，andhadtomakealightandrangethehouseforacover-Ifoundoneinthehall，amacintosh。Sobacktomysleeplessbed，andtolietheretilldawn。InthemorningIhadalongishridetotakeinadayofablinding，staggeringsun，andgothomebyeleven，ourluncheonhour，withmyheadratherswimmy；theonlytimeIhaveFEAREDthesunsinceIwasinSamoa。
　　However，Igotnoharm，butdidnotgototheclub，layoff，lazied，playedthepipe，andread-anovelbyJamesPayn-
　　sometimesquiteinteresting，andinoneplacereallyveryfunnywiththequainthumouroftheman。Muchinterestedtheotherday。AsIrodepastahouse，IsawwhereaSamoanhadwrittenawordonaboard，andtherewasanA，perfectlyformed，butupsidedown。YouneversawsuchathinginEurope；butitisascommonasdirtinPolynesia。Men’snamesaretattooedontheforearm；itiscommontofindasubvertedlettertattooedthere。Hereisatemptingproblemforpsychologists。
　　IamnowontermsagainwiththeGermanConsulate，Iknownotforhowlong；not，ofcourse，withthePresident，whichI
　　findarelief；still，withtheChiefJusticeandtheEnglishConsul。ForHaggard，Ihaveagenuineaffection；heisaloveableman。
　　Wearyfulman！’HereistheyarnofLoudonDodd，NOTASHE
　　TOLDIT，BUTASITWASAFTERWARDSWRITTEN。’Thesewordswereleftoutbysomecarelessness，andIthinkIhavebeenthricetackledaboutthem。Gravetheminyourmindandwearthemonyourforehead。
　　TheLangstorywillhaveverylittleaboutthetreasure；THE
　　MASTERwillappear；anditistoagreatextentataleofPrinceCharlieAFTERthe’45，andalovestoryforbye:theheroisamelancholyexile，andmarriesayoungwomanwhointereststheprince，andthereisthedeviltopay。IthinktheMasterkillshiminaduel，butdon’tknowyet，nothavingyetseenmysecondheroine。No-theMasterdoesn’tkillhim，theyfight，heiswounded，andtheMasterplaysDEUSEXMACHINA。ITHINKjustnowofcallingitTHETAILOF
　　THERACE；no-heavens！Ineversawtillthismoment-butofcoursenobodybutmyselfwouldeverunderstandMill-Race，theywouldthinkofaquarter-mile。So-Iamnamelessagain。MymelancholyyoungmanistobequiteaRomeo。Yes，I’llnamethebookfromhim:DYCEOFYTHAN-pronounceEethan。
　　DyceofYthanbyR。L。S。
　　O，Shovel-Shovelwaitshisturn，heandhisancestors。I
　　wouldhavetackledhimbefore，butmySTATETRIALShavenevercome。SothatIhavenowquiteplanned:-
　　DyceofYthan。Historical，1750。
　　SophiaScarlet。To-day。
　　TheShovelsofNewtonFrench。Historical，1650to1830。
　　Andquiteplannedandpartwritten:-
　　ThePearlFisher。To-day。WithLloydamachine。
　　DavidBalfour。Historical，1751。
　　And，byastrangeexceptionforR。L。S。，allinthethirdpersonexceptD。B。
　　Idon’tknowwhatdaythisisnowthe29th，butIhavefinishedmytwochapters，ninthandtenth，ofSAMOAintimeforthemail，andfeelalmostatpeace。Thetenthwasthehurricane，adifficultproblem；itsotemptedonetobeliterary；andIfeelsurethelessofthatthereisinmylittlehandbook，themorechanceithasofsomeutility。
　　Thentheeventsarecomplicated，sevenshipstotellof，andsometimesthreeofthemtogether；O，itwasquiteajob。ButIthinkIhavemyfactsprettycorrect，andforonce，inmysickeningyarn，theyarehandsomefacts:creditabletoallconcerned；nottobewrittenof-andIshouldthink，scarcetoberead-withoutathrill。IdoubtIhavegotnohurricaneintoit，theintricaciesoftheyarnabsorbingmetoomuch。Butthere-it’sdonesomehow，andtimepresseshardonmyheels。Thebook，withmybestexpedition，maycomejusttoolatetobeofuse。InwhichcaseIshallhavemadeahandsomepresentofsomemonthsofmylifefornothingandtonobody。Well，throughHerthemostancientheavensarefreshandstrong。
　　AfterIhadwrittenyou，Ire-readmyhurricane，whichisverypoor；thelifeofthejournalistishard，anothercoupleofwritingsandIcouldmakeagoodthing，Ibelieve，anditmustgoasitis！But，ofcourse，thisbookisnotwrittenforhonourandglory，andthefewwhowillreaditmaynotknowthedifference。Verylittletime。Igodownwiththemailshortly，dineattheChineserestaurant，andgototheclubtodancewithislandresses。Thinkofmygoingoutonceaweektodance。
　　Politicsareonthefulljobagain，andwedon’tknowwhatistocomenext。IthinkthewholetreatyRAJseemsquiteplayedout！TheyhavetakentobribingtheFAIPULEmenparliamentmentostayinMulinuu，wehear；butIhavenotyetsiftedtherumour。ImustsayIshallbescarcesurprisedifitprovetrue；theserumourshavetheknackofbeingright-Ourweatherthislastmonthhasbeentremendouslyhot，notbythethermometer，whichsticksat86
　　degrees，buttothesensation:norain，nowind，andthisthestormmonth。Itlooksominous，andiscertainlydisagreeable。
　　Notimetofinish，Yoursever，
　　MYDEARCOLVIN，-AsIrodedownlastnightaboutsix，IsawasightImusttrytotellyouof。Infrontofme，rightoverthetopoftheforestintowhichIwasdescendingwasavastcloud。Thefrontofitaccuratelyrepresentedthesomewhatrugged，long-nosed，andbeetle-browedprofileofaman，crownedbyahugeKalmuckcap；thefleshpartwasofaheavenlypink，thecap，themoustache，theeyebrowswereofabluishgray；toseethiswithitschildishexactitudeofdesignandcolour，andhugenessofscale-itcoveredatleast25degrees-heldmespellbound。AsIcontinuedtogaze，theexpressionbegantochange；hehadtheexactairofclosingoneeye，droppinghisjaw，anddrawingdownhisnose；
　　hadthethingnotbeensoimposing，Icouldhavesmiled；andthenalmostinamoment，ashoulderofleaden-colouredbankdroveinfrontandblottedit。Myattentionspreadtotherestofthecloud，anditwasathingtoworship。Itrosefromthehorizon，anditstopwaswithinthirtydegreesofthezenith；thelowerpartswerelikeaglacierinshadow，varyingfromdarkindigotoacloudedwhiteinexquisitegradations。Theskybehind，sofarasIcouldsee，wasallofabluealreadyenrichedanddarkenedbythenight，forthehillhadwhatlingeredofthesunset。ButthetopofmyTitaniccloudflamedinbroadsunlight，withthemostexcellentsoftnessandbrightnessoffireandjewels，enlighteningalltheworld。ItmusthavebeenfarhigherthanMountEverest，anditsglory，asIgazedupatitoutofthenight，wasbeyondwonder。Closebyrodethelittlecrescentmoon；andrightoveritswesternhorn，agreatplanetofaboutequallustrewithitself。Thedarkwoodsbelowwereshrillwiththatnoisybusinessofthebirds’
　　eveningworship。WhenIreturned，aftereight，themoonwasneardown；sheseemedlittlebrighterthanbefore，butnowthatthecloudnolongerplayeditspartofanocturnalsun，wecouldseethatsight，sorarewithusathomethatitwascountedaportent，socustomaryinthetropics，ofthedarkspherewithitslittlegiltbanduponthebelly。Theplanethadbeensettingfaster，andwasnowbelowthecrescent。
　　Theywerestillofanequalbrightness。
　　Icouldnotresisttryingtoreproducethisinwords，asaspecimenoftheseincrediblybeautifulandimposingmeteorsofthetropicskythatmakesomuchofmypleasurehere；