首页 >出版文学> Ursula>第36章

第36章

  “OfmydearSavinien,“criedthegirl,burstingintotears。“Yes,mygoodfriend,“shesaid,sobbing,“avoicetellsmeheisasnobleinheartasheisinrace。Hehasnotonlytoldmethathelovesmealone,buthehasproveditinahundreddelicateways,andbyrestrainingheroicallyhisardentfeelings。LatelywhenhetookthehandIheldouttohim,thateveningwhenMonsieurBongrandproposedtomeahusband,itwasthefirsttime,Isweartoyou,thatIhadevergivenit。Hebeganwithajestwhenheblewmeakissacrossthestreet,butsincethenouraffectionhasneveroutwardlypassed,asyouwellknow,thenarrowestlimits。ButIwilltellyou,——youwhoreadmysoulexceptinthisoneregionwherenonebuttheangelssee,——well,Iwilltellyou,thislovehasbeeninmethesecretspringofmanyseemingmerits;itmademeacceptmypoverty;itsoftenedthebitternessofmyirreparableloss,formymourningismoreperhapsinmyclothesnowthaninmyheart——Oh,wasIwrong?canitbethatlovewasstrongerinmethanmygratitudetomybenefactor,andGodhaspunishedmeforit?Buthowcoulditbeotherwise?IrespectedinmyselfSavinien’sfuturewife;yes,perhapsIwastooproud,perhapsitisthatpridewhichGodhashumbled。Godalone,asyouhaveoftentoldme,shouldbetheendandobjectofallouractions。“
  Theabbewasdeeplytouchedashewatchedthetearsrolldownherpallidface。Thehigherhersenseofsecurityhadbeen,thelowershewasnowtofall。
  “But,“shesaid,continuing,“ifIreturntomyorphanedcondition,I
  shallknowhowtotakeupitsfeelings。Afterall,couldIhavetiedamill-stoneroundtheneckofhimIlove?Whatcanhedohere?WhoamI
  tobindhimtome?Besides,doInotlovehimwithafriendshipsodivinethatIcanbearthelossofmyownhappinessandmyhopes?YouknowIhaveoftenblamedmyselfforlettingmyhopesrestuponagrave,andforknowingtheywerewaitingonthatpooroldlady’sdeath。IfSavinienisrichandhappywithanotherIhaveenoughtopayformyentrancetoaconvent,whereIshallgoatonce。Therecannomorebetwolovesinawoman’sheartthantherecanbetwomastersinheaven,andthelifeofareligiousisattractivetome。“
  “HecouldnotlethismothergoalonetoRouvre,“saidtheabbe,gently。
  “Donotletustalkofthat,mydeargoodfriend,“sheanswered。“I
  willwriteto-nightandsethimfree。Iamgladtohavetoclosethewindowsofthisroom,“shecontinued,tellingheroldfriendoftheanonymousletters,butdeclaringthatshewouldnotallowanyinquiriestobemadeastowhoherunknownlovermightbe。
  “Why!itwasananonymousletterthatfirsttookMadamedePortendueretoRouvre,“criedtheabbe。“Youareannoyedforsomeobjectbyevilpersons。“
  “Howcanthatbe?NeitherSaviniennorIhaveinjuredanyone;andI
  amnolongeranobstacletotheprosperityofothers。“
  “Well,well,mychild,“saidtheabbe,quietly,“letusprofitbythistempest,whichhasscatteredourlittlecircle,toputthelibraryinorder。Thebooksarestillinheaps。BongrandandIwanttogettheminorder;wewishtomakeasearchamongthem。PutyourtrustinGod,andrememberalsothatinourgoodBongrandandinmeyouhavetwodevotedfriends。“
  “Thatismuch,verymuch,“shesaid,goingwithhimtothethresholdofthedoor,whereshestretchedouthernecklikeabirdlookingoveritsnest,hopingagainsthopetoseeSavinien。
  JustthenMinoretandGoupil,returningfromawalkinthemeadows,stoppedastheypassed,andthecolossusspoketoUrsula。
  “Isanythingthematter,cousin;forwearestillcousins,arewenot?
  Youseemchanged。“
  GoupillookedsoardentlyatUrsulathatshewasfrightened,andwentbackintothehousewithoutreplying。
  “Sheiscross,“saidMinorettotheabbe。
  “MademoiselleMirouetisquiterightnottotalktomenonthethresholdofherdoor,“saidtheabbe;“sheistooyoung——“
  “Oh!“saidGoupil。“Iamtoldshedoesn’tlacklovers。“
  TheabbebowedhurriedlyandwentasfastashecouldtotheRuedesBourgeois。
  “Well,“saidGoupiltoMinoret,“thethingisworking。Didyounoticehowpaleshewas。Withinafortnightshe’llhaveleftthetown——you’llsee。“
  “Betterhaveyouforafriendthananenemy,“criedMinoret,frightenedattheatrociousgrinwhichgavetoGoupil’sfacethediabolicalexpressionoftheMephistophelesofJosephBrideau。
  “Ishouldthinkso!“returnedGoupil。“Ifshedoesn’tmarrymeI’llmakeherdieofgrief。“
  “Doit,myboy,andI’llGIVEyouthemoneytobuyapracticeinParis。Youcanthenmarryarichwoman——“
  “PoorUrsula!whatmakesyousobitteragainsther?whathasshedonetoyou?“askedtheclerkinsurprise。
  “Sheannoysme,“saidMinoret,gruffly。
  “Well,waittillMondayandyoushallseehowI’llraspher,“saidGoupil,studyingtheexpressionofthelatepostmaster’sface。
  ThenextdayLaBougivalcarriedthefollowinglettertoSavinien。
  “Idon’tknowwhatthedearchildhaswrittentoyou,“shesaid,“butsheisalmostdeadthismorning。“
  Who,readingthislettertoherlover,couldfailtounderstandthesufferingsthepoorgirlhadgonethroughduringthenight。
  MydearSavinien,——YourmotherwishesyoutomarryMademoiselleduRouvre,andperhapssheisright。Youareplacedbetweenalifethatisalmostpoverty-strickenandalifeofopulence;betweenthebetrothedofyourheartandawifeinconformitywiththedemandsoftheworld;betweenobediencetoyourmotherandthefulfilmentofyourownchoice——forIstillbelievethatyouhavechosenme。Savinien,ifyouhavenowtomakeyourdecisionIwishyoutodosoinabsolutefreedom;Igiveyoubackthepromiseyoumadetoyourself——nottome——inamomentwhichcanneverfadefrommymemory,foritwas,likeotherdaysthathavesucceededit,ofangelicpurityandsweetness。Thatmemorywillsufficemeformylife。Ifyoushouldpersistinyourpledgetome,adarkandterribleideawouldhenceforthtroublemyhappiness。Inthemidstofourprivations——whichwehavehithertoacceptedsogayly——youmightreflect,toolate,thatlifewouldhavebeentoyouabetterthinghadyounowconformedtothelawsoftheworld。Ifyouwereamantoexpressthatthought,itwouldbetomethesentenceofanagonizingdeath;ifyoudidnotexpressit,Ishouldwatchsuspiciouslyeveryclouduponyourbrow。
  DearSavinien,Ihavepreferredyoutoallelseonearth。Iwasrighttodoso,formygodfather,thoughjealousofyou,usedtosaytome,“Lovehim,mychild;youwillcertainlybelongtoeachotheroneofthesedays。“WhenIwenttoParisIlovedyouhopelessly,andthefeelingcontentedme。IdonotknowifIcannowreturntoit,butIshalltry。Whatarewe,afterall,atthismoment?Brotherandsister。Letusstayso。Marrythathappygirlwhocanhavethejoyofgivingtoyournamethelustreitoughttohave,andwhichyourmotherthinksIshoulddiminish。Youwillnothearofmeagain。Theworldwillapproveofyou;Ishallneverblameyou——butIshallloveyouever。Adieu,then!
  “Wait,“criedtheyoungman。SigningtoLaBougivaltositdown,hescratchedoffhastilythefollowingreply:——
  MydearUrsula,——Yourlettercutsmetotheheart,inasmuchasyouhaveneedlesslyfeltsuchpain;andalsobecauseourhearts,forthefirsttime,havefailedtounderstandeachother。Ifyouarenotmywifenow,itissolelybecauseIcannotmarrywithoutmymother’sconsent。Dear,eightthousandfrancsayearandaprettycottageontheLoing,why,that’safortune,isitnot?YouknowwecalculatedthatifwekeptLaBougivalwecouldlaybyhalfourincomeeveryyear。Youallowedmethatevening,inyouruncle’sgarden,toconsideryoumine;youcannotnowofyourselfbreakthosetieswhicharecommontobothofus——Ursula,needItellyouthatIyesterdayinformedMonsieurduRouvrethatevenifI
  werefreeIcouldnotreceiveafortunefromayoungpersonwhomI
  didnotknow?Mymotherrefusestoseeyouagain;Imustthereforelosethehappinessofourevenings;butsurelyyouwillnotdeprivemeofthebriefmomentsIcanspendatyourwindow?Thisevening,then——Nothingcanseparateus。
  “Takethistoher,myoldwoman;shemustnotbeunhappyonemomentlonger。“
  Thatafternoonatfouro’clock,returningfromthewalkwhichhealwaystookexpresslytopassbeforeUrsula’shouse,Savinienfoundhismistresswaitingforhim,herfacealittlepallidfromthesesuddenchangesandexcitements。
  “ItseemstomethatuntilnowIhaveneverknownwhatthepleasureofseeingyouis,“shesaidtohim。
  “Youoncesaidtome,“repliedSavinien,smiling,——“forIrememberallyourwords,——’Lovelivesbypatience;wewillwait!’Dear,youhaveseparatedlovefromfaith。Ah!thisshallbetheendofourquarrels;
  wewillneverhaveanother。YouhaveclaimedtolovemebetterthanI
  loveyou,but——didIeverdoubtyou?“hesaid,offeringherabouquetofwild-flowersarrangedtoexpresshisthoughts。
  “Youhaveneverhadanyreasontodoubtme,“shereplied;“and,besides,youdon’tknowall,“sheadded,inatroubledvoice。
  Ursulahadrefusedtoreceivelettersbythepost。Butthatafternoon,withoutbeingableeventoguessatthenatureofthetrick,shehadfound,afewmomentsbeforeSavinien’sarrival,alettertossedonhersofawhichcontainedthewords:“Tremble!arejectedlovercanbecomeatiger。“