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第5章

  “Whatanicehandyouwrite!“Hehimselfcouldwriteonlyinprintingfashion,inthelargescriptorycharactersoftheEcclesiasticalRubric,notinthoseoftheordinarykind。
  “Forexample,thatscoopthere——whatdoesITsay?“
  “Itistheword’Good。’“
  “’Good’?Butwhataslip-knotofathing!AndwhatarethosewordsTHERE,onTHATline?“
  “Theysay,’Planks,1vershokby9arshini,5。’“
  “No,sixwasthenumberused。“
  “No,five。“
  “Five?Why,thesoldierbrokeone,didn’the?“
  “Yes,butnevermind——atleastitwasn’taplankthatwaswanted。“
  “Oh!Well,Imaytellyouthathetookthetwopiecestothetaverntogetdrinkwith。“
  Then,glancingintomyfacewithhiscornflower-blueeyesandquiet,quizzicalsmile,hewouldsaywithouttheleastconfusionashetwistedtheringletsofhisbeard:
  “Putdown’6。’Andseehere,youngcockerel。Theweatherhasturnedwetandcold,andtheworkishard,andsometimesfolkneedtohavetheirspiritscheeredandraisedwithadropofliquor。Sodon’tyoubetooharduponus,forGodwon’tthinkthemoreofyouforbeingstrict。“
  Andashethustalkedtomeinhisslowandkindly,butsemi-affected,fashion——bespatteringme,asitwere,withwordysawdust——Iwouldsuddenlygrowblindofaneyeandsilentlyshowhimthecorrectedfigure。
  “That’sit——that’sright。Andhowfinethefigurelooksnow,asitsquatstherelikeamerchant’sbuxom,comelydame!“
  Thenhewouldbeseentriumphantlytellinghismatesofhissuccess;then,IwouldfindmyselffeelingacutelyconsciousofthefactthateveryonewasdespisingmeformycomplacenceYes,grownsickbeyondendurancewithayearningforsomethingwhichitcouldnotdescry,myfifteen-year-oldheartwoulddissolveinafloodofmortifiedtears,andtherewouldpassthroughmybrainthedespondent,achingthought:
  “Oh,whatasad,uncomfortableworldisthis!HowshouldOssiphaveknownsowellthatIshouldnotre-correctthe6intoa5,orthatIshouldnottellthecontractorthatthemenhavebarteredaplankforliquor?“
  Again,therebefellanoccasionwhenthemenstoletwopounds’
  weightoffivevershokmandrelsandbolts。
  “Lookhere,“IsaidtoOssipwarningly。“Iamgoingtoreportthis。“
  “Allright,“heagreedwithatwitchofhisgreyeyebrows。
  “ThoughwhatsuchatriflecanmatterIfailtosee。Yes,goandreporteverymother’ssonofthem。“
  Andtothementhemselvesheshouted:
  “Hi,boobies!Eachofyounowstandsdockedforsomemandrelsandbolts。“
  “Why?“wastheoldsoldier’sgriminquiry。
  “BecauseyouDOsostand,“carelesslyretortedtheother。
  Withsnarlsthereafter,themeneyedmecovertly,untilIbegantofeelthatverylikelyIshouldnotdoasIhadthreatened,andeventhatsotodomightnotbeexpedient。
  “Butlookhere,“saidItoOssip。“Iamgoingtogivethecontractornotice,andletallofyougotothedevil。ForifI
  weretoremainwithyoumuchlongerItooshouldbecomeathief。“
  Ossipstrokedhisbeardawhile,andpondered。Thenheseatedhimselfbesideme,andsaidinanundertone:
  “Thatistrue。“
  “Well?“
  “Butthingsarealwaysso。Thetruthisthatit’stimeyoudeparted。Whatsortofawatchman,ofachecker,areyou?Injobsofthiskindwhatamanneedstoknowisthemeaningofproperty。Heneedstohaveinhimthespiritofadog,sothatheshalllookafterhismaster’sstuffashewouldlookaftertheskinwhichhismotherhasputontohisownbody。Butyou,youyoungpuppy,haven’ttheslightestnotionofwhatpropertymeans。Infact,wereanyonetogoandtellVasiliSergeitchaboutthewayinwhichyoukeeplettingusoff,he’dgiveityouintheneck。Yes,you’renogoodtohimatall,butjustanexpense:whereaswhenamanservesamasterheought,doyouunderstand,tobePROFITABLEtothatmaster。“
  Herolledandhandedmeacigarette。
  “Smokethis,“saidhe,“andperhapsit’llmakeyourbrainworkeasier。Ifonlyyouhadbeenofalessawkward,uncomfortablenature,Ishouldhavesaidtoyou,’Goandjointhepriests;
  but,asthingsare,youaren’ttherightsortforthat——you’retoostiffandunbending,andwouldnevermakeheadwayevenwithanabbot。No,you’renotthesorttoplaycardswith。Amonkislikeajackdaw——hechatterswithoutknowingwhatheischatteringabout,andpaysnoheedtotherootofthings,sobusyishewithstuffinghimselffullwiththegrain。Isaythistoyouwithabsoluteearnestness,forIperceiveyoutobestrangetoourways——acuckoothathasblunderedintothewrongnest。“
  And,doffinghiscap,agesturewhichheneverfailedtoexecutewhenhehadsomethingparticularlyimportanttosay,headdedhumblyandsonorouslyasheglancedatthegreyfirmament:
  “InthesightoftheLordourwaysarethewaysofthieves,andsuchaswillnevergainofHimsalvation。“
  “Andthatistrueenough,“respondedMokeiBudirinafterthefashionofaclarionet。
  Fromthattimeforth,Ossipofthecurly,silveredhead,brighteyes,andshadowysoulbecameanobjectofagreeableinterestforme。Indeed,theregrewupbetweenusaspeciesoffriendship,eventhoughIcouldseethatacivilbearingtowardsmeinpublicwasathingthatithurthimtomaintain。Atallevents,inthepresenceofothersheavoidedmyglance,andhiseyes,clear,unsullied,andfightblueintint,waveredunsteadily,andhislipstwitchedandassumedanartificiallyunpleasantexpression,whileheutteredsomesuchspeechas:
  “Hi,youMakarei,seethatyoukeepyoureyesopen,andcamyourpay,orthatpigofasoldierwillbemakingawaywithmorenails!“
  Butatothertimes,whenwewerealonetogether,hewouldspeaktomekindlyandinstructively,whilehiseyeswoulddanceandgleamwithafaint,grave,knowingsmile,anddartblueraysdirectintomine,whileformypart,asIlistenedtohiswords,Itookeveryoneofthemtobeabsolutelytrueandbalanced,despitetheirstrangedelivery。
  “Aman’sdutyconsistsinbeinggood,“Iremarkedononeoccasion。
  “Yes,ofcourse,“assentedOssip,thoughthenextmomentheveiledhiseyeswithasmile,andaddedinanundertone:
  “Butwhatdoyouunderstandbytheterm’good’?Inmyopinion,unlessvirtuebetotheiradvantage,folkspituponthat’goodness,’that’honourableness,’ofyours。Hence,thebetterplanistopayfolkcourt,andbeciviltothem,andflatterandcajoleeverymother’ssonofthem。Yes,dothat,andyour’goodness’willhaveachanceofbringingyouinsomereturn。NotthatIdonotsaythattobe’good,’tobeabletolookyourownuglyjowlinthefaceinamirror,ispleasantenough;but,asIseethematter,itisallonetootherpeoplewhetheryoubeacardsharperorapriestsolongasyou’repolite,andletdownyourneighbourslightly。That’swhattheywant。“
  FormypartInever,atthatperiod,grewwearyofwatchingmyfellows,foritwasmyconstantideathatsomedayoneofthemwouldbeabletoraisemetoahigherlevel,andtobringmetoanunderstandingofthisunintelligibleandcomplicatedexistenceofours。HenceIkeptaskingmyselftherestless,theimportunatequestion:
  “Whatpreciselyisthehumansoul?
  Certainsouls,Ithought,existedwhichseemedlikeballsofcopper,for,solidandimmovable,theyreflectedthingsfromtheirownpointofviewalone,inadullandirregularanddistortedfashion。Andsouls,Ithought,existedwhichseemedasflatasmirrors,and,forallintentsandpurposes,hadnoexistenceatall。
  Andineverycasethehumansoulseemedformless,likeacloud,andasmurkilymutableasanimitationopal,athingwhichalteredaccordingtothecolourofwhatadjoinedit。
  OnlyasregardedthesouloftheintelligentOssipwasI
  absolutelyataloss,absolutelyunabletoreachaconclusion。
  Ponderingtheseandsimilarmattersinmymind,I,onthedayofwhichIspeak,stoodgazingattheriver,andatthetownunderthehill,asIlistenedtothebells。RearingthemselvesaloftliketheorganpipesinmyfavouritePolish-RomanCatholicchurch,thesteeplesofthetownhadtheircrossesdimlysparklingasthoughthelatterhadbeenstarsimprisonedinamurkysky。Yetitwasasthoughthosestarshopedeventuallytoascendintothepurerfirmamentabovethewind-torncloudsthattheysparkled;andasIstoodwatchingthecloudsglideonward,andmomentarilyeffacewiththeirshadows,thetown’smultifarioushues,Imarkedthefactthatalthough,wheneverdark-bluecavitiesintheirsubstancepermittedthebeamsofthesuntoilluminatethebuildingsbelow,thosebuildings’roofsassumedtintsofincreasedcheerfulness。Thecloudsseemedtoglidethefastertoveilthebeams,whilethehumidshadowsgrewmoreopaque——andthescenedarkenedasthoughonlyforamomenthaditassumedasemblanceofjoy。