HereVologonovlowershisvoice,andcontinueswithsomethingofthegrowlofanangrydog:
“Itoohavehadsons,oneofwhomwaskilledatKushkaadocumenthascertifiedtothateffect,anotherwasdrownedwhilstdrunk,threemorediedininfancy,andonlytwoarestillalive。Oftheselast,IknowthatoneisactingasawaiterinahotelatSmolensk,whiletheother,Melenti,waseducatedfortheChurch,senttostudyinaseminary,inducedtoabscondandgetintotrouble,andeventuallydispatchedtoSiberia。Therenow!Yes,theRussianiswhatmightbecalleda’lightweighted’
individual,anindividualwho,unlessheholdshimselfdownbythehead,issooncarriedoffbythewindlikeachicken’sfeather——forwearetooself-confidentandrestless。Beforenow,Imyselfhavebeenagull,amanlackingbalance:forneverdoesyouthrealiseitsowninsignificance,orknowhowtowait。“
Dissertationsofthekinddropfromtheoldmanlikewaterfromaleakypipeonacold,blusterydayinautumn。Wagginghisgreybeard,hetalksandtalks,untilIbegintothinkthathemustbeanevilwizard,andmasterofthisremote,barren,swampy,ravine-pittedregion——thatheitiswhooriginallyplantedthetowninthisuncomfortable,clayeyhollow,andhasthrownthehousesintoheaps,andentangledthestreets,andwantonlycreatedthetown’sunaccountablyrudeandroughanddeadlyexistence,andaddledmen’sbrainswithdisconnectednonsense,andconsumedtheirheartswithafearoflife。Yes,itcomestomethatitmustbehewho,duringthelongsixmonthsofwinter,causescruelsnowstormsfromtheplaintoinvadethetown,andwithfrostcompressesthebuildingsofthetownuntiltheirrafterscrack,andstingingcoldbringsbirdstotheground。
Lastly,Ibecomeseizedwiththeideathatitmustbehewho,almosteverysummer,envelopsthetowninthoseterriblevisitationsofheatbynightwhichseemalmosttocausethehousestomelt。
However,asarulehemaintainscompletesilence,andmerelymakeschewingmotionswithhisstrong-toothedjawsashesitswagginghisbeardfromsidetoside。Atsuchtimesthereisinhiseyesabluishfirelikethegleamofcharcoal,whilehiscrookedfingerswrithelikeworms,andhisoutwardappearancebecomessheerlythatofamagicianofiniquity。
OnceIaskedhim:
“Whatinparticularoughtmentowaitfor?“
Forawhilehesatclaspinghisbeard,and,withcontractedeyes,gazingasatsomethingbehindme。Thenhesaidquietlyanddidactically:
“SomedaytherewillariseaStrangeManwhowillproclaimtotheworldtheWordtowhichthereneverwasabeginning。ButtowhichofusisthehourwhenthatManwillariseknown?Tononeofus……AndtowhichofusareknownthemiracleswhichthatWordwillperform?Tononeofus。“
Onceuponatimethereusedtoglidepastthewindowofmyroomthefair,curly,wavering,goldenheadofNilushkatheidiot,aladlookinglikeathingwhichtheearthhasbegottenoflove。
Yes,Nilushkawaslikeanangelinsomesacredpictureadorningthesouthernorthenortherngatesofanancientchurch,as,withhisflushedfacesmearedwithwax-smokeandoil,andhislightblueeyesgleaminginacold,unearthlysmile,andaframecladinaredsmockreachingtobelowhisknees,andthesolesofhisfeetshowingblackalwayshewalkedontiptoe,andhisthincalves,asstraightandwhiteasthecalvesofawoman,coveredwithgoldendown,hewalkedthestreets。
Sometimeshoppingalongononeleg,andsmiling,andwavinghisarms,andcausingtheamplefoldsandsleevesofhissmocktoflutteruntilheseemedtobemovinginthemidstofanimbus,Nilushkawouldsinginahaltingwhisperthechildishditty:
0hLo-ord,pardonme!
Wo-olvesrun,Anddo-ogsrun,AndthehunterswaitTokillthewolves。
0hLo-ord,pardonme!
Meanwhile,hewoulddiffuseacheeringatmosphereofhappinesswithwhichnooneinthelocalityhadanythingincommon。Forhewaseveralighthearted,winning,essentiallypureinnocentofthetypewhichneverfailstoevokegood-naturedsmilesandkindlyemotions。Indeed,asheroamedthestreets,thesuburbseemedtoliveitslifewithlessclamour,toappearmoredecentofoutwardguise,sincethelocalfolklookedupontheimbecilewithfarmoreindulgencethantheydidupontheirownchildren;
andhewasintimatewith,andbelovedby,eventheworst。
Probablythereasonforthiswasthatthesemblanceofflightamidanatmosphereofgoldendustwhichwashiscombinedwithhisstraight,slenderlittlefiguretoputallwhobeheldhiminmindofchurches,angels,God,andParadise。Atallevents,allviewedhiminamannercontemplative,interested,andmorethanalittledeferential。
AcuriousfactwasthecircumstancethatwheneverNilushkasightedastraygleamfromapieceofglass,ortheglitterofamorselofcopperinsunlight,hewouldhaltdeadwherehewas,turngreywiththeashinessofdeath,losehissmile,andremaindilatingtoanunnaturalextenthiscloudedandtroubledeyes。
Andso,withhiswholeformdistortedwithhorror,andhisthinhandcrossinghimself,andhiskneestrembling,andhissmockflutteringaroundhisfrailwispofabody,andhisfeaturesgrowingstonelike,hewould,foranhourormore,continuetostand,untilatlengthsomeonelaidahandinhis,andledhimhome。
Thetalehaditthat,inthefirstinstance,born“soft-headed,“
hefinallylosthisreason,fiveyearsbeforetheperiodofwhichIamwriting,whenagreatfireoccurred,andthatthenceforthanything,savesunlight,thatinanywayresembledfireplungedhimintothistorporofdumbdread。
Naturallythepeopleofthesuburbdevotedtohimagreatdealofattention。
“TheregoesGod’sfool,“wouldbetheirremark。“ItwillnotbelongbeforehediesandbecomesaSaint,andwefalldownandworshiphim。“
Yettherewerepersonswhowouldgosofarastocrackrudejestsathisexpense。Forinstance,ashewouldbeskippingalong,withhischildishvoiceraisedinhislittleditty,someidleroranotherwouldshoutfromawindow,orthroughthecrannyofafence:
“Hi,Nilushka!Fire!Fire!“
Whereupontheangel-facedimbecilewouldsinktoearthasthoughhislegshadbeencutawayatthekneefromunderhim,andhewouldhuddle,franticallyclutchinghisgoldenheadinhispermanentlysoiledhands,andexposinghisyouthfulformtothedust,underthenearesthouseorfence。
Onlythenwouldthepersonwhohadgivenhimthefrightrepent,andsaywithalaugh:
“Godinheaven,whatastupidladthisis!“
And,shouldthatpersonhavebeenaskedwhyhehadthusterrifiedtheboy,hewouldprobablyhavereplied:
“Becauseitissuchsporttodoso。Asaladwhocannotfeelthingsasotherhumanbeingsdo,heinclinesfolktomakefunofhim。“
AsfortheomniscientAntipaVologonov,thefollowingwashisfrequentcommentonNilushka:
“Christalsohadtowalkinterror。Christalsowaspersecuted。
Whyso?BecauseeverHeenduredinrectitudeandstrength。Menneedtolearnwhatisrealandwhatisunreal。Manyarethesinsofearthcomeofthefactthattheseemingismistakenfortheactual,andthatmenkeeppressingforwardwhentheyoughttobewaiting,tobeprovingthemselves。“
HenceVologonov,liketherest,bestowedmuchattentionuponNilushka,andfrequentlyheldconversationswithhim。
“DoyounowpraytoGod,“hesaidonceashepointedtoheavenwithoneofhiscrookedfingers,andwiththedisengagedhandclaspedhisdishevelled,variouslycolouredbeard。
WhereuponNilushkaglancedfearfullyatthemysteriouslypointingfinger,and,pluckingsharplyathisforehead,shoulders,andstomachwithtwofingersandathumb,intonedinthin,plaintiveaccents:
“OurFatherinHeaven——“
“WHICHARTinHeaven。“
“Yes,intheHeavenofHeavens。“
“Ah,well!Godwillunderstand。Heisthefriendofallblessedones。“[Idiots;sincepersonsmentallydeficientarepopularlydeemedtostandinapeculiarlycloserelationtotheAlmighty。]
Again,greatwasNilushka’sinterestinanythingspherical。
Also,hehadaloveforhandlingtheheadsofchildren;when,softlyapproachingagroupfrombehind,hewould,withhisbright,quietsmile,layslender,bonyfingersuponaclose-croppedlittlepoll;withtheresultthatthechildren,notrelishingsuchfingering,wouldtakealarmatthesame,and,boltingtoadiscreetdistance,thenceabusetheidiot,putouttheirtonguesathim,anddrawlinanasalchorus:
“Nilka,thebottle-neck,theneckwithoutanapetoit“
[ProbablytheattractivenessofthisformulalayratherintherhymingoftheRussianwords:“Nilka,butilka,bashkabezzatilka!“thanintheiractualmeaning]。
第20章