首页 >出版文学> Through Russia>第20章

第20章

  HereVologonovlowershisvoice,andcontinueswithsomethingofthegrowlofanangrydog:
  “Itoohavehadsons,oneofwhomwaskilledatKushkaadocumenthascertifiedtothateffect,anotherwasdrownedwhilstdrunk,threemorediedininfancy,andonlytwoarestillalive。Oftheselast,IknowthatoneisactingasawaiterinahotelatSmolensk,whiletheother,Melenti,waseducatedfortheChurch,senttostudyinaseminary,inducedtoabscondandgetintotrouble,andeventuallydispatchedtoSiberia。Therenow!Yes,theRussianiswhatmightbecalleda’lightweighted’
  individual,anindividualwho,unlessheholdshimselfdownbythehead,issooncarriedoffbythewindlikeachicken’sfeather——forwearetooself-confidentandrestless。Beforenow,Imyselfhavebeenagull,amanlackingbalance:forneverdoesyouthrealiseitsowninsignificance,orknowhowtowait。“
  Dissertationsofthekinddropfromtheoldmanlikewaterfromaleakypipeonacold,blusterydayinautumn。Wagginghisgreybeard,hetalksandtalks,untilIbegintothinkthathemustbeanevilwizard,andmasterofthisremote,barren,swampy,ravine-pittedregion——thatheitiswhooriginallyplantedthetowninthisuncomfortable,clayeyhollow,andhasthrownthehousesintoheaps,andentangledthestreets,andwantonlycreatedthetown’sunaccountablyrudeandroughanddeadlyexistence,andaddledmen’sbrainswithdisconnectednonsense,andconsumedtheirheartswithafearoflife。Yes,itcomestomethatitmustbehewho,duringthelongsixmonthsofwinter,causescruelsnowstormsfromtheplaintoinvadethetown,andwithfrostcompressesthebuildingsofthetownuntiltheirrafterscrack,andstingingcoldbringsbirdstotheground。
  Lastly,Ibecomeseizedwiththeideathatitmustbehewho,almosteverysummer,envelopsthetowninthoseterriblevisitationsofheatbynightwhichseemalmosttocausethehousestomelt。
  However,asarulehemaintainscompletesilence,andmerelymakeschewingmotionswithhisstrong-toothedjawsashesitswagginghisbeardfromsidetoside。Atsuchtimesthereisinhiseyesabluishfirelikethegleamofcharcoal,whilehiscrookedfingerswrithelikeworms,andhisoutwardappearancebecomessheerlythatofamagicianofiniquity。
  OnceIaskedhim:
  “Whatinparticularoughtmentowaitfor?“
  Forawhilehesatclaspinghisbeard,and,withcontractedeyes,gazingasatsomethingbehindme。Thenhesaidquietlyanddidactically:
  “SomedaytherewillariseaStrangeManwhowillproclaimtotheworldtheWordtowhichthereneverwasabeginning。ButtowhichofusisthehourwhenthatManwillariseknown?Tononeofus……AndtowhichofusareknownthemiracleswhichthatWordwillperform?Tononeofus。“
  Onceuponatimethereusedtoglidepastthewindowofmyroomthefair,curly,wavering,goldenheadofNilushkatheidiot,aladlookinglikeathingwhichtheearthhasbegottenoflove。
  Yes,Nilushkawaslikeanangelinsomesacredpictureadorningthesouthernorthenortherngatesofanancientchurch,as,withhisflushedfacesmearedwithwax-smokeandoil,andhislightblueeyesgleaminginacold,unearthlysmile,andaframecladinaredsmockreachingtobelowhisknees,andthesolesofhisfeetshowingblackalwayshewalkedontiptoe,andhisthincalves,asstraightandwhiteasthecalvesofawoman,coveredwithgoldendown,hewalkedthestreets。
  Sometimeshoppingalongononeleg,andsmiling,andwavinghisarms,andcausingtheamplefoldsandsleevesofhissmocktoflutteruntilheseemedtobemovinginthemidstofanimbus,Nilushkawouldsinginahaltingwhisperthechildishditty:
  0hLo-ord,pardonme!
  Wo-olvesrun,Anddo-ogsrun,AndthehunterswaitTokillthewolves。
  0hLo-ord,pardonme!
  Meanwhile,hewoulddiffuseacheeringatmosphereofhappinesswithwhichnooneinthelocalityhadanythingincommon。Forhewaseveralighthearted,winning,essentiallypureinnocentofthetypewhichneverfailstoevokegood-naturedsmilesandkindlyemotions。Indeed,asheroamedthestreets,thesuburbseemedtoliveitslifewithlessclamour,toappearmoredecentofoutwardguise,sincethelocalfolklookedupontheimbecilewithfarmoreindulgencethantheydidupontheirownchildren;
  andhewasintimatewith,andbelovedby,eventheworst。
  Probablythereasonforthiswasthatthesemblanceofflightamidanatmosphereofgoldendustwhichwashiscombinedwithhisstraight,slenderlittlefiguretoputallwhobeheldhiminmindofchurches,angels,God,andParadise。Atallevents,allviewedhiminamannercontemplative,interested,andmorethanalittledeferential。
  AcuriousfactwasthecircumstancethatwheneverNilushkasightedastraygleamfromapieceofglass,ortheglitterofamorselofcopperinsunlight,hewouldhaltdeadwherehewas,turngreywiththeashinessofdeath,losehissmile,andremaindilatingtoanunnaturalextenthiscloudedandtroubledeyes。
  Andso,withhiswholeformdistortedwithhorror,andhisthinhandcrossinghimself,andhiskneestrembling,andhissmockflutteringaroundhisfrailwispofabody,andhisfeaturesgrowingstonelike,hewould,foranhourormore,continuetostand,untilatlengthsomeonelaidahandinhis,andledhimhome。
  Thetalehaditthat,inthefirstinstance,born“soft-headed,“
  hefinallylosthisreason,fiveyearsbeforetheperiodofwhichIamwriting,whenagreatfireoccurred,andthatthenceforthanything,savesunlight,thatinanywayresembledfireplungedhimintothistorporofdumbdread。
  Naturallythepeopleofthesuburbdevotedtohimagreatdealofattention。
  “TheregoesGod’sfool,“wouldbetheirremark。“ItwillnotbelongbeforehediesandbecomesaSaint,andwefalldownandworshiphim。“
  Yettherewerepersonswhowouldgosofarastocrackrudejestsathisexpense。Forinstance,ashewouldbeskippingalong,withhischildishvoiceraisedinhislittleditty,someidleroranotherwouldshoutfromawindow,orthroughthecrannyofafence:
  “Hi,Nilushka!Fire!Fire!“
  Whereupontheangel-facedimbecilewouldsinktoearthasthoughhislegshadbeencutawayatthekneefromunderhim,andhewouldhuddle,franticallyclutchinghisgoldenheadinhispermanentlysoiledhands,andexposinghisyouthfulformtothedust,underthenearesthouseorfence。
  Onlythenwouldthepersonwhohadgivenhimthefrightrepent,andsaywithalaugh:
  “Godinheaven,whatastupidladthisis!“
  And,shouldthatpersonhavebeenaskedwhyhehadthusterrifiedtheboy,hewouldprobablyhavereplied:
  “Becauseitissuchsporttodoso。Asaladwhocannotfeelthingsasotherhumanbeingsdo,heinclinesfolktomakefunofhim。“
  AsfortheomniscientAntipaVologonov,thefollowingwashisfrequentcommentonNilushka:
  “Christalsohadtowalkinterror。Christalsowaspersecuted。
  Whyso?BecauseeverHeenduredinrectitudeandstrength。Menneedtolearnwhatisrealandwhatisunreal。Manyarethesinsofearthcomeofthefactthattheseemingismistakenfortheactual,andthatmenkeeppressingforwardwhentheyoughttobewaiting,tobeprovingthemselves。“
  HenceVologonov,liketherest,bestowedmuchattentionuponNilushka,andfrequentlyheldconversationswithhim。
  “DoyounowpraytoGod,“hesaidonceashepointedtoheavenwithoneofhiscrookedfingers,andwiththedisengagedhandclaspedhisdishevelled,variouslycolouredbeard。
  WhereuponNilushkaglancedfearfullyatthemysteriouslypointingfinger,and,pluckingsharplyathisforehead,shoulders,andstomachwithtwofingersandathumb,intonedinthin,plaintiveaccents:
  “OurFatherinHeaven——“
  “WHICHARTinHeaven。“
  “Yes,intheHeavenofHeavens。“
  “Ah,well!Godwillunderstand。Heisthefriendofallblessedones。“[Idiots;sincepersonsmentallydeficientarepopularlydeemedtostandinapeculiarlycloserelationtotheAlmighty。]
  Again,greatwasNilushka’sinterestinanythingspherical。
  Also,hehadaloveforhandlingtheheadsofchildren;when,softlyapproachingagroupfrombehind,hewould,withhisbright,quietsmile,layslender,bonyfingersuponaclose-croppedlittlepoll;withtheresultthatthechildren,notrelishingsuchfingering,wouldtakealarmatthesame,and,boltingtoadiscreetdistance,thenceabusetheidiot,putouttheirtonguesathim,anddrawlinanasalchorus:
  “Nilka,thebottle-neck,theneckwithoutanapetoit“
  [ProbablytheattractivenessofthisformulalayratherintherhymingoftheRussianwords:“Nilka,butilka,bashkabezzatilka!“thanintheiractualmeaning]。