EvenMr。Hirst,whomshehaddislikedwhenshefirstmethim,reallywasn’tdisagreeable;and,poorman,healwayslookedsoill;
perhapshewasinlove;perhapshehadbeeninlovewithRachel——
shereallyshouldn’twonder;orperhapsitwasEvelyn——shewasofcourseveryattractivetomen。Leaningforward,shewentonwiththeconversation。Shesaidthatshethoughtthatthereasonwhypartiesweresodullwasmainlybecausegentlemenwillnotdress:
eveninLondon,shestated,itstruckherverymuchhowpeopledon’tthinkitnecessarytodressintheevening,andofcourseiftheydon’tdressinLondontheywon’tdressinthecountry。
ItwasreallyquiteatreatatChristmas-timewhenthereweretheHuntballs,andthegentlemenworeniceredcoats,butArthurdidn’tcarefordancing,soshesupposedthattheywouldn’tgoeventotheballintheirlittlecountrytown。Shedidn’tthinkthatpeoplewhowerefondofonesportoftencareforanother,althoughherfatherwasanexception。Butthenhewasanexceptionineveryway——suchagardener,andheknewallaboutbirdsandanimals,andofcoursehewassimplyadoredbyalltheoldwomeninthevillage,andatthesametimewhathereallylikedbestwasabook。
Youalwaysknewwheretofindhimifhewerewanted;hewouldbeinhisstudywithabook。Verylikelyitwouldbeanold,oldbook,somefustyoldthingthatnooneelsewoulddreamofreading。
Sheusedtotellhimthathewouldhavemadeafirst-rateoldbookwormifonlyhehadn’thadafamilyofsixtosupport,andsixchildren,sheadded,charminglyconfidentofuniversalsympathy,didn’tleaveonemuchtimeforbeingabookworm。
Stilltalkingaboutherfather,ofwhomshewasveryproud,sherose,forArthuruponlookingathiswatchfoundthatitwastimetheywentbackagaintothetenniscourt。Theothersdidnotmove。
“They’reveryhappy!“saidMrs。Thornbury,lookingbenignantlyafterthem。Rachelagreed;theyseemedtobesocertainofthemselves;
theyseemedtoknowexactlywhattheywanted。
“D’youthinkthey_are_happy?“EvelynmurmuredtoTerenceinanundertone,andshehopedthathewouldsaythathedidnotthinkthemhappy;but,instead,hesaidthattheymustgotoo——gohome,fortheywerealwaysbeinglateformeals,andMrs。Ambrose,whowasverysternandparticular,didn’tlikethat。EvelynlaidholdofRachel’sskirtandprotested。Whyshouldtheygo?
Itwasstillearly,andshehadsomanythingstosaytothem。
“No,“saidTerence,“wemustgo,becausewewalksoslowly。Westopandlookatthings,andwetalk。“
“Whatd’youtalkabout?“Evelynenquired,uponwhichhelaughedandsaidthattheytalkedabouteverything。
Mrs。Thornburywentwiththemtothegate,trailingveryslowlyandgracefullyacrossthegrassandthegravel,andtalkingallthetimeaboutflowersandbirds。Shetoldthemthatshehadtakenupthestudyofbotanysinceherdaughtermarried,anditwaswonderfulwhatanumberofflowerstherewerewhichshehadneverseen,althoughshehadlivedinthecountryallherlifeandshewasnowseventy-two。Itwasagoodthingtohavesomeoccupationwhichwasquiteindependentofotherpeople,shesaid,whenonegotold。
Buttheoddthingwasthatoneneverfeltold。Shealwaysfeltthatshewastwenty-five,notadaymoreoradayless,but,ofcourse,onecouldn’texpectotherpeopletoagreetothat。
“Itmustbeverywonderfultobetwenty-five,andnotmerelytoimaginethatyou’retwenty-five,“shesaid,lookingfromonetotheotherwithhersmooth,brightglance。“Itmustbeverywonderful,verywonderfulindeed。“Shestoodtalkingtothematthegateforalongtime;sheseemedreluctantthattheyshouldgo。
Theafternoonwasveryhot,sohotthatthebreakingofthewavesontheshoresoundedliketherepeatedsighofsomeexhaustedcreature,andevenontheterraceunderanawningthebrickswerehot,andtheairdancedperpetuallyovertheshortdrygrass。
Theredflowersinthestonebasinsweredroopingwiththeheat,andthewhiteblossomswhichhadbeensosmoothandthickonlyafewweeksagowerenowdry,andtheiredgeswerecurledandyellow。
Onlythestiffandhostileplantsofthesouth,whosefleshyleavesseemedtobegrownuponspines,stillremainedstandinguprightanddefiedthesuntobeatthemdown。Itwastoohottotalk,anditwasnoteasytofindanybookthatwouldwithstandthepowerofthesun。Manybookshadbeentriedandthenletfall,andnowTerencewasreadingMiltonaloud,becausehesaidthewordsofMiltonhadsubstanceandshape,sothatitwasnotnecessarytounderstandwhathewassaying;onecouldmerelylistentohiswords;onecouldalmosthandlethem。
Thereisagentlenymphnotfarfromhence,heread,ThatwithmoistcurbswaysthesmoothSevernstream。
Sabrinaishername,avirginpure;
WhilomshewasthedaughterofLocrine,ThathadthesceptrefromhisfatherBrute。
Thewords,inspiteofwhatTerencehadsaid,seemedtobeladenwithmeaning,andperhapsitwasforthisreasonthatitwaspainfultolistentothem;theysoundedstrange;theymeantdifferentthingsfromwhattheyusuallymeant。Rachelatanyratecouldnotkeepherattentionfixeduponthem,butwentoffuponcurioustrainsofthoughtsuggestedbywordssuchas“curb“and“Locrine“and“Brute,“
whichbroughtunpleasantsightsbeforehereyes,independentlyoftheirmeaning。Owingtotheheatandthedancingairthegardentoolookedstrange——thetreeswereeithertoonearortoofar,andherheadalmostcertainlyached。Shewasnotquitecertain,andthereforeshedidnotknow,whethertotellTerencenow,ortolethimgoonreading。Shedecidedthatshewouldwaituntilhecametotheendofastanza,andifbythattimeshehadturnedherheadthiswayandthat,anditachedineverypositionundoubtedly,shewouldsayverycalmlythatherheadached。
Sabrinafair,ListenwherethouartsittingUndertheglassy,cool,translucentwave,IntwistedbraidsofliliesknittingTheloosetrainofthyamberdroppinghair,Listenfordearhonour’ssake,Goddessofthesilverlake,Listenandsave!
Butherheadached;itachedwhicheverwaysheturnedit。
Shesatupandsaidasshehaddetermined,“MyheadachessothatIshallgoindoors。“Hewashalf-waythroughthenextverse,buthedroppedthebookinstantly。
“Yourheadaches?“herepeated。
Forafewmomentstheysatlookingatoneanotherinsilence,holdingeachother’shands。Duringthistimehissenseofdismayandcatastrophewerealmostphysicallypainful;allroundhimheseemedtoheartheshiverofbrokenglasswhich,asitfelltoearth,lefthimsittingintheopenair。Butattheendoftwominutes,noticingthatshewasnotsharinghisdismay,butwasonlyrathermorelanguidandheavy-eyedthanusual,herecovered,fetchedHelen,andaskedhertotellhimwhattheyhadbetterdo,forRachelhadaheadache。
Mrs。Ambrosewasnotdiscomposed,butadvisedthatsheshouldgotobed,andaddedthatshemustexpectherheadtoacheifshesatuptoallhoursandwentoutintheheat,butafewhoursinbedwouldcureitcompletely。Terencewasunreasonablyreassuredbyherwords,ashehadbeenunreasonablydepressedthemomentbefore。Helen’ssenseseemedtohavemuchincommonwiththeruthlessgoodsenseofnature,whichavengedrashnessbyaheadache,and,likenature’sgoodsense,mightbedependedupon。
Rachelwenttobed;shelayinthedark,itseemedtoher,foraverylongtime,butatlength,wakingfromatransparentkindofsleep,shesawthewindowswhiteinfrontofher,andrecollectedthatsometimebeforeshehadgonetobedwithaheadache,andthatHelenhadsaiditwouldbegonewhenshewoke。
Shesupposed,therefore,thatshewasnowquitewellagain。
Atthesametimethewallofherroomwaspainfullywhite,andcurvedslightly,insteadofbeingstraightandflat。Turninghereyestothewindow,shewasnotreassuredbywhatshesawthere。
Themovementoftheblindasitfilledwithairandblewslowlyout,drawingthecordwithalittletrailingsoundalongthefloor,seemedtoherterrifying,asifitwerethemovementofananimalintheroom。
Sheshuthereyes,andthepulseinherheadbeatsostronglythateachthumpseemedtotreaduponanerve,piercingherforeheadwithalittlestabofpain。Itmightnotbethesameheadache,butshecertainlyhadaheadache。Sheturnedfromsidetoside,inthehopethatthecoolnessofthesheetswouldcureher,andthatwhenshenextopenedhereyestolooktheroomwouldbeasusual。
Afteraconsiderablenumberofvainexperiments,sheresolvedtoputthematterbeyondadoubt。Shegotoutofbedandstoodupright,holdingontothebrassballattheendofthebedstead。
Ice-coldatfirst,itsoonbecameashotasthepalmofherhand,andasthepainsinherheadandbodyandtheinstabilityofthefloorprovedthatitwouldbefarmoreintolerabletostandandwalkthantolieinbed,shegotintobedagain;butthoughthechangewasrefreshingatfirst,thediscomfortofbedwassoonasgreatasthediscomfortofstandingup。Sheacceptedtheideathatshewouldhavetostayinbedalldaylong,andasshelaidherheadonthepillow,relinquishedthehappinessoftheday。
WhenHelencameinanhourortwolater,suddenlystoppedhercheerfulwords,lookedstartledforasecondandthenunnaturallycalm,thefactthatshewasillwasputbeyondadoubt。Itwasconfirmedwhenthewholehouseholdknewofit,whenthesongthatsomeonewassinginginthegardenstoppedsuddenly,andwhenMaria,asshebroughtwater,slippedpastthebedwithavertedeyes。
Therewasallthemorningtogetthrough,andthenalltheafternoon,andatintervalsshemadeanefforttocrossoverintotheordinaryworld,butshefoundthatherheatanddiscomforthadputagulfbetweenherworldandtheordinaryworldwhichshecouldnotbridge。
Atonepointthedooropened,andHelencameinwithalittledarkmanwhohad——itwasthechiefthingshenoticedabouthim——
veryhairyhands。Shewasdrowsyandintolerablyhot,andasheseemedshyandobsequiousshescarcelytroubledtoanswerhim,althoughsheunderstoodthathewasadoctor。AtanotherpointthedooropenedandTerencecameinverygently,smilingtoosteadily,assherealised,forittobenatural。Hesatdownandtalkedtoher,strokingherhandsuntilitbecameirksometohertolieanymoreinthesamepositionandsheturnedround,andwhenshelookedupagainHelenwasbesideherandTerencehadgone。Itdidnotmatter;
shewouldseehimto-morrowwhenthingswouldbeordinaryagain。
Herchiefoccupationduringthedaywastotrytorememberhowthelineswent:
Undertheglassy,cool,translucentwave,IntwistedbraidsofliliesknittingTheloosetrainofthyamberdroppinghair;
andtheeffortworriedherbecausetheadjectivespersistedingettingintothewrongplaces。
Theseconddaydidnotdifferverymuchfromthefirstday,exceptthatherbedhadbecomeveryimportant,andtheworldoutside,whenshetriedtothinkofit,appeareddistinctlyfurtheroff。
Theglassy,cool,translucentwavewasalmostvisiblebeforeher,curlingupattheendofthebed,andasitwasrefreshinglycoolshetriedtokeephermindfixeduponit。Helenwashere,andHelenwastherealldaylong;sometimesshesaidthatitwaslunchtime,andsometimesthatitwasteatime;butbythenextdayalllandmarkswereobliterated,andtheouterworldwassofarawaythatthedifferentsounds,suchasthesoundsofpeoplemovingoverhead,couldonlybeascribedtotheircausebyagreateffortofmemory。
Therecollectionofwhatshehadfelt,orofwhatshehadbeendoingandthinkingthreedaysbefore,hadfadedentirely。
Ontheotherhand,everyobjectintheroom,andthebeditself,andherownbodywithitsvariouslimbsandtheirdifferentsensationsweremoreandmoreimportanteachday。Shewascompletelycutoff,andunabletocommunicatewiththerestoftheworld,isolatedalonewithherbody。
Hoursandhourswouldpassthus,withoutgettinganyfurtherthroughthemorning,oragainafewminuteswouldleadfrombroaddaylighttothedepthsofthenight。Oneeveningwhentheroomappearedverydim,eitherbecauseitwaseveningorbecausetheblindsweredrawn,Helensaidtoher,“Someoneisgoingtosithereto-night。Youwon’tmind?“
Openinghereyes,RachelsawnotonlyHelenbutanurseinspectacles,whosefacevaguelyrecalledsomethingthatshehadonceseen。
Shehadseenherinthechapel。“NurseMcInnis,“saidHelen,andthenursesmiledsteadilyastheyalldid,andsaidthatshedidnotfindmanypeoplewhowerefrightenedofher。Afterwaitingforamomenttheybothdisappeared,andhavingturnedonherpillowRachelwoketofindherselfinthemidstofoneofthoseinterminablenightswhichdonotendattwelve,butgoonintothedoublefigures
第54章