首页 >出版文学> The Voyage Out>第27章

第27章

  “Howsillythepooroldlightslook!“saidEvelynM。inacuriouslysubduedtoneofvoice。“Andourselves;itisn’tbecoming。“
  Itwastrue;theuntidyhair,andthegreenandyellowgems,whichhadseemedsofestivehalfanhourago,nowlookedcheapandslovenly。
  Thecomplexionsoftheelderladiessufferedterribly,and,asifconsciousthatacoldeyehadbeenturneduponthem,theybegantosaygood-nightandtomaketheirwayuptobed。
  Rachel,thoughrobbedofheraudience,hadgoneonplayingtoherself。
  FromJohnPeelshepassedtoBach,whowasatthistimethesubjectofherintenseenthusiasm,andonebyonesomeoftheyoungerdancerscameinfromthegardenandsatuponthedesertedgiltchairsroundthepiano,theroombeingnowsoclearthattheyturnedoutthelights。
  Astheysatandlistened,theirnerveswerequieted;theheatandsorenessoftheirlips,theresultofincessanttalkingandlaughing,wassmoothedaway。Theysatverystillasiftheysawabuildingwithspacesandcolumnssucceedingeachotherrisingintheemptyspace。
  Thentheybegantoseethemselvesandtheirlives,andthewholeofhumanlifeadvancingverynoblyunderthedirectionofthemusic。
  Theyfeltthemselvesennobled,andwhenRachelstoppedplayingtheydesirednothingbutsleep。
  Susanrose。“Ithinkthishasbeenthehappiestnightofmylife!“
  sheexclaimed。“Idoadoremusic,“shesaid,asshethankedRachel。
  “Itjustseemstosayallthethingsonecan’tsayoneself。“
  Shegaveanervouslittlelaughandlookedfromonetoanotherwithgreatbenignity,asthoughshewouldliketosaysomethingbutcouldnotfindthewordsinwhichtoexpressit。“Everyone’sbeensokind——
  soverykind,“shesaid。Thenshetoowenttobed。
  Thepartyhavingendedintheveryabruptwayinwhichpartiesdoend,HelenandRachelstoodbythedoorwiththeircloakson,lookingforacarriage。
  “Isupposeyourealisethattherearenocarriagesleft?“
  saidSt。John,whohadbeenouttolook。“Youmustsleephere。“
  “Oh,no,“saidHelen;“weshallwalk。“
  “Maywecometoo?“Hewetasked。“Wecan’tgotobed。Imaginelyingamongbolstersandlookingatone’swashstandonamorninglikethis——
  Isthatwhereyoulive?“Theyhadbeguntowalkdowntheavenue,andheturnedandpointedatthewhiteandgreenvillaonthehillside,whichseemedtohaveitseyesshut。
  “That’snotalightburning,isit?“Helenaskedanxiously。
  “It’sthesun,“saidSt。John。Theupperwindowshadeachaspotofgoldonthem。
  “Iwasafraiditwasmyhusband,stillreadingGreek,“shesaid。
  “Allthistimehe’sbeenediting_Pindar_。“
  Theypassedthroughthetownandturnedupthesteeproad,whichwasperfectlyclear,thoughstillunborderedbyshadows。
  Partlybecausetheyweretired,andpartlybecausetheearlylightsubduedthem,theyscarcelyspoke,butbreathedinthedeliciousfreshair,whichseemedtobelongtoadifferentstateoflifefromtheairatmidday。Whentheycametothehighyellowwall,wherethelaneturnedofffromtheroad,Helenwasfordismissingthetwoyoungmen。
  “You’vecomefarenough,“shesaid。“Gobacktobed。“
  Buttheyseemedunwillingtomove。
  “Let’ssitdownamoment,“saidHewet。Hespreadhiscoatontheground。“Let’ssitdownandconsider。“Theysatdownandlookedoutoverthebay;itwasverystill,theseawasripplingfaintly,andlinesofgreenandbluewerebeginningtostripeit。Therewerenosailingboatsasyet,butasteamerwasanchoredinthebay,lookingveryghostlyinthemist;itgaveoneunearthlycry,andthenallwassilent。
  Racheloccupiedherselfincollectingonegreystoneafteranotherandbuildingthemintoalittlecairn;shediditveryquietlyandcarefully。
  “Andsoyou’vechangedyourviewoflife,Rachel?“saidHelen。
  Racheladdedanotherstoneandyawned。“Idon’tremember,“shesaid,“Ifeellikeafishatthebottomofthesea。“Sheyawnedagain。
  Noneofthesepeoplepossessedanypowertofrightenherouthereinthedawn,andshefeltperfectlyfamiliarevenwithMr。Hirst。
  “Mybrain,onthecontrary,“saidHirst,“isinaconditionofabnormalactivity。“Hesatinhisfavouritepositionwithhisarmsbindinghislegstogetherandhischinrestingonthetopofhisknees。“Iseethrougheverything——absolutelyeverything。
  Lifehasnomoremysteriesforme。“Hespokewithconviction,butdidnotappeartowishforananswer。Nearthoughtheysat,andfamiliarthoughtheyfelt,theyseemedmereshadowstoeachother。
  “Andallthosepeopledowntheregoingtosleep,“Hewetbegandreamily,“thinkingsuchdifferentthings,——MissWarrington,Isuppose,isnowonherknees;theElliotsarealittlestartled,it’snotoften_they_getoutofbreath,andtheywanttogettosleepasquicklyaspossible;thenthere’sthepoorleanyoungmanwhodancedallnightwithEvelyn;he’sputtinghisflowerinwaterandaskinghimself,’Isthislove?’——andpooroldPerrott,Idaresay,can’tgettosleepatall,andisreadinghisfavouriteGreekbooktoconsolehimself——
  andtheothers——no,Hirst,“hewoundup,“Idon’tfinditsimpleatall。“
  “Ihaveakey,“saidHirstcryptically。Hischinwasstilluponhiskneesandhiseyesfixedinfrontofhim。
  Asilencefollowed。ThenHelenroseandbadethemgood-night。
  “But,“shesaid,“rememberthatyou’vegottocomeandseeus。“
  Theywavedgood-nightandparted,butthetwoyoungmendidnotgobacktothehotel;theywentforawalk,duringwhichtheyscarcelyspoke,andnevermentionedthenamesofthetwowomen,whowere,toaconsiderableextent,thesubjectoftheirthoughts。
  Theydidnotwishtosharetheirimpressions。Theyreturnedtothehotelintimeforbreakfast。
  Thereweremanyroomsinthevilla,butoneroomwhichpossessedacharacterofitsownbecausethedoorwasalwaysshut,andnosoundofmusicorlaughterissuedfromit。Everyoneinthehousewasvaguelyconsciousthatsomethingwentonbehindthatdoor,andwithoutintheleastknowingwhatitwas,wereinfluencedintheirownthoughtsbytheknowledgethatifthepasseditthedoorwouldbeshut,andiftheymadeanoiseMr。Ambroseinsidewouldbedisturbed。Certainactsthereforepossessedmerit,andotherswerebad,sothatlifebecamemoreharmoniousandlessdisconnectedthanitwouldhavebeenhadMr。Ambrosegivenupediting_Pindar_,andtakentoanomadexistence,inandoutofeveryroominthehouse。
  Asitwas,everyonewasconsciousthatbyobservingcertainrules,suchaspunctualityandquiet,bycookingwell,andperformingothersmallduties,oneodeafteranotherwassatisfactorilyrestoredtotheworld,andtheysharedthecontinuityofthescholar’slife。
  Unfortunately,asageputsonebarrierbetweenhumanbeings,andlearninganother,andsexathird,Mr。Ambroseinhisstudywassomethousandmilesdistantfromthenearesthumanbeing,whointhishouseholdwasinevitablyawoman。Hesathourafterhouramongwhite-leavedbooks,alonelikeanidolinanemptychurch,stillexceptforthepassageofhishandfromonesideofthesheettoanother,silentsaveforanoccasionalchoke,whichdrovehimtoextendhispipeamomentintheair。Asheworkedhiswayfurtherandfurtherintotheheartofthepoet,hischairbecamemoreandmoredeeplyencircledbybooks,whichlayopenonthefloor,andcouldonlybecrossedbyacarefulprocessofstepping,sodelicatethathisvisitorsgenerallystoppedandaddressedhimfromtheoutskirts。
  Onthemorningafterthedance,however,Rachelcameintoheruncle’sroomandhailedhimtwice,“UncleRidley,“beforehepaidheranyattention。
  Atlengthhelookedoverhisspectacles。
  “Well?“heasked。
  “Iwantabook,“shereplied。“Gibbon’s_History__of__the_
  _Roman__Empire_。MayIhaveit?“
  Shewatchedthelinesonheruncle’sfacegraduallyrearrangethemselvesatherquestion。Ithadbeensmoothasamaskbeforeshespoke。
  “Pleasesaythatagain,“saidheruncle,eitherbecausehehadnotheardorbecausehehadnotunderstood。
  Sherepeatedthesamewordsandreddenedslightlyasshedidso。
  “Gibbon!Whatonearthd’youwanthimfor?“heenquired。
  “Somebodyadvisedmetoreadit,“Rachelstammered。
  “ButIdon’ttravelaboutwithamiscellaneouscollectionofeighteenth-centuryhistorians!“heruncleexclaimed。
  “Gibbon!Tenbigvolumesatleast。“
  Rachelsaidthatshewassorrytointerrupt,andwasturningtogo。
  “Stop!“criedheruncle。Heputdownhispipe,placedhisbookononeside,androseandledherslowlyroundtheroom,holdingherbythearm。
  “Plato,“hesaid,layingonefingeronthefirstofarowofsmalldarkbooks,“andJorrocksnextdoor,whichiswrong。Sophocles,Swift。
  Youdon’tcareforGermancommentators,Ipresume。French,then。
  YoureadFrench?YoushouldreadBalzac。ThenwecometoWordsworthandColeridge,Pope,Johnson,Addison,Wordsworth,Shelley,Keats。
  Onethingleadstoanother。WhyisMarlowehere?Mrs。Chailey,Ipresume。Butwhat’stheuseofreadingifyoudon’treadGreek?
  Afterall,ifyoureadGreek,youneedneverreadanythingelse,purewasteoftime——purewasteoftime,“thusspeakinghalftohimself,withquickmovementsofhishands;theyhadcomeroundagaintothecircleofbooksonthefloor,andtheirprogresswasstopped。
  “Well,“hedemanded,“whichshallitbe?“
  “Balzac,“saidRachel,“orhaveyouthe_Speech__on__the_
  _American__Revolution_,UncleRidley?“
  “_The__Speech__on__the__American__Revolution_?“heasked。
  Helookedatherverykeenlyagain。“Anotheryoungmanatthedance?“
  “No。ThatwasMr。Dalloway,“sheconfessed。
  “GoodLord!“heflungbackhisheadinrecollectionofMr。Dalloway。
  Shechoseforherselfavolumeatrandom,submittedittoheruncle,who,seeingthatitwas_La__Cousine__bette_,badeherthrowitawayifshefoundittoohorrible,andwasabouttoleavehimwhenhedemandedwhethershehadenjoyedherdance?
  Hethenwantedtoknowwhatpeopledidatdances,seeingthathehadonlybeentoonethirty-fiveyearsago,whennothinghadseemedtohimmoremeaninglessandidiotic。Didtheyenjoyturningroundandroundtothescreechofafiddle?Didtheytalk,andsayprettythings,andifso,whydidn’ttheydoit,underreasonableconditions?
  Asforhimself——hesighedandpointedatthesignsofindustrylyingallabouthim,which,inspiteofhissigh,filledhisfacewithsuchsatisfactionthathisniecethoughtgoodtoleave。
  Onbestowingakissshewasallowedtogo,butnotuntilshehadboundherselftolearnatanyratetheGreekalphabet,andtoreturnherFrenchnovelwhendonewith,uponwhichsomethingmoresuitablewouldbefoundforher。
  Astheroomsinwhichpeopleliveareapttogiveoffsomethingofthesameshockastheirfaceswhenseenforthefirsttime,Rachelwalkedveryslowlydownstairs,lostinwonderatheruncle,andhisbooks,andhisneglectofdances,andhisqueer,utterlyinexplicable,butapparentlysatisfactoryviewoflife,whenhereyewascaughtbyanotewithhernameonitlyinginthehall。
  Theaddresswaswritteninasmallstronghandunknowntoher,andthenote,whichhadnobeginning,ran:——
  IsendthefirstvolumeofGibbonasIpromised。PersonallyIfindlittletobesaidforthemoderns,butI’mgoingtosendyouWedekindwhenI’vedonehim。Donne?HaveyoureadWebsterandallthatset?
  Ienvyyoureadingthemforthefirsttime。Completelyexhaustedafterlastnight。Andyou?
  TheflourishofinitialswhichshetooktobeSt。J。A。H。,wounduptheletter。ShewasverymuchflatteredthatMr。Hirstshouldhaverememberedher,andfulfilledhispromisesoquickly。
  Therewasstillanhourtoluncheon,andwithGibboninonehand,andBalzacintheothershestrolledoutofthegateanddownthelittlepathofbeatenmudbetweentheolivetreesontheslopeofthehill。Itwastoohotforclimbinghills,butalongthevalleythereweretreesandagrasspathrunningbytheriverbed。