首页 >出版文学> THE TROLL GARDEN AND SELECTED STORIES>第33章
  OnthenightofAdrianceHilgarde’sopeningconcertinParisEverettsatbythebedintheranchhouseinWyoming,watchingoverthelastbattlethatwehavewiththefleshbeforewearedonewithitandfreeofitforever。Attimesitseemedthattheserenesoulofhermusthaveleftalreadyandfoundsomerefugefromthestorm,andonlythetenaciousanimallifewerelefttodobattlewithdeath。Shelaboredunderadelusionatoncepitifulandmerciful,thinkingthatshewasinthePullmanonherwaytoNewYork,goingbacktoherlifeandherwork。WhenshearousedfromherstuporitwasonlytoasktheportertowakenherhalfanhouroutofJerseyCity,ortoremonstratewithhimaboutthedelaysandtheroughnessoftheroad。AtmidnightEverettandthenursewereleftalonewithher。PoorCharleyGaylordhadlaindownonacouchoutsidethedoor。Everettsatlookingatthesputteringnightlampuntilitmadehiseyesache。Hisheaddroppedforwardonthefootofthebed,andhesankintoaheavy,distressfulslumber。HewasdreamingofAdriance’sconcertinParis,andofAdriance,thetroubadour,smilinganddebonair,withhisboyishfaceandthetouchofsilvergrayinhishair。Heheardtheapplauseandhesawtherosesgoingupoverthefootlightsuntiltheywerestackedhalfashighasthepiano,andthepetalsfellandscattered,makingcrimsonsplotchesonthefloor。DownthiscrimsonpathwaycameAdriancewithhisyouthfulstep,leadinghisprimadonnabythehand;adarkwomanthistime,withSpanisheyes。
  Thenursetouchedhimontheshoulder;hestartedandawoke。
  Shescreenedthelampwithherhand。EverettsawthatKatharinewasawakeandconscious,andstrugglingalittle。Heliftedhergentlyonhisarmandbegantofanher。Shelaidherhandslightlyonhishairandlookedintohisfacewitheyesthatseemednevertohaveweptordoubted。“Ah,dearAdriance,dear,dear,“shewhispered。
  Everettwenttocallherbrother,butwhentheycamebackthemadnessofartwasoverforKatharine。
  TwodayslaterEverettwaspacingthestationsiding,waitingforthewestboundtrain。CharleyGaylordwalkedbesidehim,butthetwomenhadnothingtosaytoeachother。Everett’sbagswerepiledonthetruck,andhisstepwashurriedandhiseyeswerefullofimpatience,ashegazedagainandagainupthetrack,watchingforthetrain。Gaylord’simpatiencewasnotlessthanhisown;thesetwo,whohadgrownsoclose,hadnowbecomepainfulandimpossibletoeachother,andlongedforthewrenchoffarewell。
  AsthetrainpulledinEverettwrungGaylord’shandamongthecrowdofalightingpassengers。ThepeopleofaGermanoperacompany,enroutetothecoast,rushedbytheminfrantichastetosnatchtheirbreakfastduringthestop。EverettheardanexclamationinabroadGermandialect,andamassivewomanwhosefigurepersistentlyescapedfromherstaysinthemostimprobableplacesrusheduptohim,herblondhairdisorderedbythewind,andglowingwithjoyfulsurpriseshecaughthiscoatsleevewithhertightlyglovedhands。
  “HerrGott,Adriance,lieberFreund,“shecried,emotionally。
  Everettquicklywithdrewhisarmandliftedhishat,blushing。“Pardonme,madam,butIseethatyouhavemistakenmeforAdrianceHilgarde。Iamhisbrother,“hesaidquietly,andturningfromthecrestfallensinger,hehurriedintothecar。
  End
  TheGardenLodgeWhenCarolineNoble’sfriendslearnedthatRaymondd’EsquerrewastospendamonthatherplaceontheSoundbeforehesailedtofillhisengagementfortheLondonoperaseason,theyconsidereditanotherstrikinginstanceoftheperversityofthings。ThatthemonthwasMay,andthemostmildandflorescentofalltheblue-and-whiteMaysthemiddlecoasthadknowninyears,butaddedtotheirsenseofwrong。D’Esquerre,theylearned,wasensconcedinthelodgeintheappleorchard,justbeyondCaroline’sgloriousgarden,andreportwentthatatalmostanyhourthesoundofthetenor’svoiceandofCaroline’scrashingaccompanimentcouldbeheardfloatingthroughtheopenwindows,outamongthesnowyappleboughs。TheSound,steel-blueanddottedwithwhitesails,wassplendidlyseenfromthewindowsofthelodge。Thegardentotheleftandtheorchardtotherighthadneverbeensoriotouswithspring,andhadburstintoimpassionedbloom,asiftoaccommodateCaroline,thoughshewascertainlythelastwomantowhomthewitcheryofFreyacouldbeattributed;thelastwoman,asherfriendsaffirmed,toatalladequatelyappreciateandmakethemostofsuchasettingforthegreattenor。
  Ofcourse,theyadmitted,Carolinewasmusical——well,sheoughttobe!——butinthat,asineverything,shewasparamountlycool-headed,slowofimpulse,anddisgustinglypractical;inthat,asineverythingelse,shehadherselfsoprovokinglywellinhand。Ofcourse,itwouldbeshe,alwaysmistressofherselfinanysituation,she,whowouldneverbeliftedoneinchfromthegroundbyit,andwhowouldgoonsuperintendinghergardenersandworkmenasusual——itwouldbeshewhogothim。
  Perhapssomeofthemsuspectedthatthiswasexactlywhyshedidgethim,anditbutnettledthemthemore。
  Caroline’scoolness,hercapableness,hergeneralsuccess,especiallyexasperatedpeoplebecausetheyfeltthat,forthemostpart,shehadmadeherselfwhatshewas;thatshehadcold-
  bloodedlysetaboutcomplyingwiththedemandsoflifeandmakingherpositioncomfortableandmasterful。Thatwaswhy,everyonesaid,shehadmarriedHowardNoble。WomenwhodidnotgetthroughlifesowellasCaroline,whocouldnotmakesuchgoodtermseitherwithfortuneortheirhusbands,whodidnotfindtheirhealthsounfailinglygood,orholdtheirlookssowell,ormanagetheirchildrensoeasily,orgivesuchdistinctiontoalltheydid,werefondofstampingCarolineasamaterialist,andcalledherhard。
  Theimpressionofcoldcalculation,ofhavingadefinitepolicy,whichCarolinegave,wasfarfromafalseone;buttherewasthistobesaidforher——thattherewereextenuatingcircumstanceswhichherfriendscouldnotknow。
  IfCarolinehelddeterminedlytothemiddlecourse,ifshewasapttoregardwithdistrusteverythingwhichinclinedtowardextravagance,itwasnotbecauseshewasunacquaintedwithotherstandardsthanherown,orhadneverseenanothersideoflife。
  ShehadgrownupinBrooklyn,inashabbylittlehouseunderthevacillatingadministrationofherfather,amusicteacherwhousuallyneglectedhisdutiestowriteorchestralcompositionsforwhichtheworldseemedtohavenoespecialneed。Hisspiritwaswarpedbybittervindictivenessandpuerileself-commiseration,andhespenthisdaysinscornofthelaborthatbroughthimbreadandinpitifuldevotiontothelaborthatbroughthimonlydisappointment,writinginterminablescoreswhichdemandedoftheorchestraeverythingunderheavenexceptmelody。
  Itwasnotacheerfulhomeforagirltogrowupin。Themother,whoidolizedherhusbandasthemusiclordofthefuture,waslefttoalifelongbattlewithbroomanddustpan,toneverendingconciliatoryoverturestothebutcherandgrocer,tothemakingofherowngownsandofCaroline’s,andtothedelicatetaskofmollifyingAuguste’sneglectedpupils。
  Theson,Heinrich,apainter,Caroline’sonlybrother,hadinheritedallhisfather’svindictivesensitivenesswithouthiscapacityforslavishapplication。Hislittlestudioonthethirdfloorhadbeenmuchfrequentedbyyoungmenasunsuccessfulashimself,whomettheretogivethemselvesovertocontemptuousderisionofthisorthatartistwhoseindustryandstupidityhadwonhimrecognition。Heinrich,whenheworkedatall,didnewspapersketchesattwenty-fivedollarsaweek。Hewastooindolentandvacillatingtosethimselfseriouslytohisart,tooirascibleandpoignantlyself-conscioustomakealiving,toomuchaddictedtolyinglateinbed,totheincontinentreadingofpoetry,andtotheuseofchloraltobeanythingverypositiveexceptpainful。Attwenty-sixheshothimselfinafrenzy,andthewholewretchedaffairhadeffectuallyshatteredhismother’shealthandbroughtonthedeclineofwhichshedied。Carolinehadbeenfondofhim,butshefeltacertainreliefwhenhenolongerwanderedaboutthelittlehouse,commentingironicallyuponitsshabbiness,aTurkishcaponhisheadandacigarettehangingfrombetweenhislong,tremulousfingers。
  Afterhermother’sdeathCarolineassumedthemanagementofthatbankruptestablishment。Thefuneralexpenseswereunpaid,andAuguste’spupilshadbeenfrightenedawaybytheshockofsuccessivedisastersandthegeneralatmosphereofwretchednessthatpervadedthehouse。Augustehimselfwaswritingasymphonicpoem,Icarus,dedicatedtothememoryofhisson。Carolinewasbarelytwentywhenshewascalledupontofacethistangleofdifficulties,butshereviewedthesituationcandidly。Thehousehadserveditstimeattheshrineofidealism;vague,distressing,unsatisfiedyearningshadbroughtitlowenough。Hermother,thirtyyearsbefore,hadelopedandleftGermanywithhermusicteacher,togiveherselfovertolifelong,drudgingbondageatthekitchenrange。EversinceCarolinecouldremember,thelawinthehousehadbeenasortofmysticworshipofthingsdistant,intangibleandunattainable。Thefamilyhadlivedinsuccessiveebullitionsofgenerousenthusiasm,intalkofmastersandmasterpieces,onlytocomedowntothecoldfactsinthecase;toboiledmuttonandtothenecessityofturningthedining-roomcarpet。Alltheseemotionalpyrotechnicshadendedinpettyjealousies,inneglectedduties,andincowardlyfearofthelittlegroceronthecorner。
  Fromherchildhoodshehadhatedit,thathumiliatinganduncertainexistence,withitsglibtongueandemptypockets,itspoeticidealsandsordidrealities,itsindolenceandpovertytrickedoutinpaperroses。Evenasalittlegirl,whenvaguedreamsbesether,whenshewantedtolielateinbedandcommunewithvisions,ortoleapandsingbecausethesootylittletreesalongthestreetwereputtingouttheirfirstpaleleavesinthesunshine,shewouldclenchherhandsandgotohelphermotherspongethespotsfromherfather’swaistcoatorpressHeinrich’strousers。HermotherneverpermittedtheslightestquestionconcerninganythingAugusteorHeinrichsawfittodo,butfromthetimeCarolinecouldreasonatallshecouldnothelpthinkingthatmanythingswentwrongathome。Sheknew,forexample,thatherfather’spupilsoughtnottobekeptwaitinghalfanhourwhilehediscussedSchopenhauerwithsomebeardedsocialistoveradishofherringsandaspottedtablecloth。SheknewthatHeinrichoughtnottogiveadinneronHeine’sbirthday,whenthelaundresshadnotbeenpaidforamonthandwhenhefrequentlyhadtoaskhismotherforcarfare。CertainlyCarolinehadservedherapprenticeshiptoidealismandtoalltheembarrassinginconsistencieswhichitsometimesentails,andshedecidedtodenyherselfthisdiffuse,ineffectualanswertothesharpquestionsoflife。
  Whenshecameintothecontrolofherselfandthehousesherefusedtoproceedanyfurtherwithhermusicaleducation。Herfather,whohadintendedtomakeaconcertpianistofher,setthisdownasanotheriteminhislonglistofdisappointmentsandhisgrievancesagainsttheworld。Shewasyoungandpretty,andshehadwornturnedgownsandsoiledglovesandimprovisedhatsallherlife。Shewantedtheluxuryofbeinglikeotherpeople,ofbeinghonestfromherhattoherboots,ofhavingnothingtohide,noteveninthematterofstockings,andshewaswillingtoworkforit。Sherentedalittlestudioawayfromthathouseofmisfortuneandbegantogivelessons。Shemanagedwellandwasthesortofgirlpeoplelikedtohelp。ThebillswerepaidandAugustewentoncomposing,growingindignantonlywhensherefusedtoinsistthatherpupilsshouldstudyhiscompositionsforthepiano。ShebegantogetengagementsinNewYorktoplayaccompanimentsatsongrecitals。Shedressedwell,madeherselfagreeable,andgaveherselfachance。Sheneverpermittedherselftolookfurtherthanastepahead,andsetherselfwithallthestrengthofherwilltoseethingsastheyareandmeetthemsquarelyinthebroadday。Thereweretwothingsshefearedevenmorethanpoverty:thepartofonethatsetsupanidolandthepartofonethatbowsdownandworshipsit。