WhenIsaidthemIwasexpectingdeathindeed,buttorenouncethemnowthatitsshadowwasliftedfromme,ifonlyforalittlewhile,wouldhavebeentheactofacoward。
ForgoodorevilIhadgivenmyselftoMontezuma’sdaughter,andImustabidebyitorbeshamed。
StillsuchwasthenoblenessofthisIndianladythateventhenshewouldnottakemeatmyword。
Foralittlewhileshestoodsmilingsadlyanddrawingalockofherlonghairthroughthehollowofherhand。
Thenshespoke:
’Youarenotyourself,Teule,andIshouldbebaseindeedifImadesosolemnacompactwithonewhodoesnotknowwhathesells。
Yonderonthealtarandinamomentofdeathyousaidthatyoulovedme,anddoubtlessitwastrue。
Butnowyouhavecomebacktolife,andsay,lord,whosetthatgoldenringuponyourhandandwhatiswritteninitscircle?
Yetevenifthewordsaretruethatyouhavespokenandyoulovemealittle,thereisoneacrosstheseawhomyoulovebetter。
ThatIcouldbear,formyheartisfixedonyoualoneamongmen,andattheleastyouwouldbekindtome,andIshouldmoveinthesunlightofyourpresence。
Buthavingknownthelight,Icannotlivetowanderinthedarkness。
Youdonotunderstand。
IwilltellyouwhatIfear。
Ifearthatif——ifwewerewed,youwouldwearyofmeasmendo,andthatmemorywouldgrowtoostrongforyou。
Thenbyandbyitmightbepossibleforyoutofindyourwaybackacrossthewaterstoyourownlandandyourownlove,andsoyouwoulddesertme,Teule。
ThisiswhatI
couldnotbear,Teule。
Icanforegoyounow,ay,andremainyourfriend。
ButIcannotbeputasidelikeadancinggirl,thecompanionofamonth,I,Montezuma’sdaughter,aladyofmyownland。
Shouldyouwedme,itmustbeformylife,Teule,andthatisperhapsmorethanyouwouldwishtopromise,thoughyoucouldkissmeonyonderstoneandthereisbloodfellowshipbetweenus,’
andsheglancedattheredstaininthelinenrobethatcoveredthewounduponherside。
’Andnow,Teule,Ileaveyouawhile,thatImayfindGuatemoc,ifhestilllives,andotherswho,nowthatthestrengthofthepriestsisshattered,havepowertoprotectyouandadvanceyoutohonour。
ThinkthenonallthatIhavesaid,anddonotbehastytodecide。
OrwouldyoumakeanendatonceandflytothewhitemenifIcanfindameansofescape?’
’Iamtoowearytoflyanywhere,’Ianswered,’evenifIcould。
Moreover,Iforget。
MyenemyisamongtheSpaniards,hewhomI
havesworntokill,thereforehisfriendsaremyfoesandhisfoesmyfriends。
Iwillnotfly,Otomie。’
’Thereyouarewise,’shesaid,’forifyoucomeamongtheTeulesthatmanwillmurderyou;byfairmeansorfoulhewillmurderyouwithinaday,Isawitinhiseyes。
NowrestwhileIseekyoursafety,ifthereisanysafetyinthisblood-stainedland。’
Otomieturnedandwent。
Iwatchedthegoldencurtainsclosebehindher;thenIsankbackuponthecouchandinstantlywaslostinsleep,forIwasfaintandweak,andsodazedwithweariness,thatatthetimeIscarcelyknewwhathadhappened,orthepurposeofourtalk。
Afterwards,however,itcamebacktome。
Imusthavesleptformanyhours,forwhenIawokeitwasfaronintothenight。
Itwasnightbutnotdark,forthroughthebarredwindowplacescamethesoundoftumultandfighting,andredraysoflightcastbytheflamesofburninghouses。
Oneofthesewindowswasabovemycouch,andstandingonthebedIseizedthesillwithmyhands。
Withmuchpain,becauseofthefleshwoundinmyside,I
drewmyselfuptillIcouldlookthroughthebars。
ThenIsawthattheSpaniards,notcontentwiththecaptureoftheteocalli,hadmadeanightattackandsetfiretohundredsofhousesinthecity。
Theglareoftheflameswasthatofaluridday,andbyitIcouldseethewhitemenretreatingtotheirquarters,pursuedbythousandsofAztecs,whohungupontheirflanks,shootingatthemwithstonesandarrows。
NowIdroppeddownfromthewindowplaceandbegantothinkastowhatIshoulddo,foragainmymindwaswavering。
ShouldIdesertOtomieandescapetotheSpaniardsifthatwerepossible,takingmychanceofdeathatthehandsofdeGarcia?
OrshouldIstayamongtheAztecsiftheywouldgivemeshelter,andwedOtomie?
Therewasathirdchoice,indeed,tostaywiththemandleaveOtomiealone,thoughitwouldbedifficulttodothisandkeepmyhonour。
OnethingIunderstood,ifImarriedOtomieitmustbeatherownprice,forthenImustbecomeanIndianandgiveoverallhopeofreturningtoEnglandandtomybetrothed。
Ofthis,indeed,therewaslittlechance,still,whilemyliferemainedtome,itmightcomeaboutifIwasfree。
ButoncemyhandsweretiedbythismarriageitcouldneverbeduringOtomie’slifetime,andsofarasLilyBozardwasconcernedIshouldbedead。
HowcouldIbethusfaithlesstohermemoryandmytroth,andontheotherhand,howcouldIdiscardthewomanwhohadriskedallforme,andwho,tospeaktruth,hadgrownsodeartome,thoughtherewasoneyetdearer?
Aherooranangelmightfindapathoutofthistangle,butalas!Iwasneithertheonenortheother,onlyamanafflictedasothermenarewithhumanweakness,andOtomiewasathand,andverysweetandfair。
Still,almostIdeterminedthatIwouldavailmyselfofhernobleness,thatIwouldgobackuponmywords,andbeghertodespisemeandseemenomore,inorderthatImightnotbeforcedtobreakthetroththatIhadpledgedbeneaththebeechatDitchingham。
ForIgreatlydreadedthisoathoflife-longfidelitywhichIshouldbeforcedtoswearifIchoseanyotherpath。
ThusIthoughtoninpitiableconfusionofmind,notknowingthatallthesematterswerebeyondmyordering,sinceapathwasalreadymadereadytomyfeet,whichImustfollowordie。
Andletthisbeaproofofthehonestyofmywords,since,hadIbeendesirousofglozingthetruth,Ineedhavewrittennothingofthesestrugglesofconscience,andofmyownweakness。
Forsoonitwastocometothis,thoughnotbyherwill,thatImusteitherwedOtomieordieatonce,andfewwouldblamemefordoingthefirstandnotthelast。
Indeed,thoughIdidwedher,Imightstillhavedeclaredmyselftomyaffiancedandtoalltheworldasaslaveofeventsfromwhichtherewasnoescape。
Butitisnotallthetruth,sincemymindwasdivided,andhaditnotbeensettledforme,Icannotsayhowthestrugglewouldhaveended。
Now,lookingbackonthedistantpast,andweighingmyactionsandcharacterasajudgemightdo,Icansee,however,thathadIfoundtimetoconsider,therewasanothermatterwhichwouldsurelyhaveturnedthescaleinfavourofOtomie。
DeGarciawasamongtheSpaniards,andmyhatredofdeGarciawastherulingpassionofmylife,astrongerpassioneventhanmyloveforthetwodearwomenwhohavebeenitsjoy。
Indeed,thoughheisdeadthesemanyyearsIstillhatehim,andevilthoughthedesirebe,eveninmyageI
longthatmyvengeancewasstilltowreak。
WhileIremainedamongtheAztecsdeGarciawouldbetheirenemyandmine,andImightmeethiminwarandkillhimthere。
ButifIsucceededinreachingtheSpanishcamp,thenitwasalmostsurethathewouldbringaboutmyinstantdeath。
Doubtlesshehadtoldsuchataleofmealready,thatwithinanhourIshouldbehungasaspy,orotherwisemadeawaywith。
ButIwillceasefromtheseunprofitablewonderingswhichhavebutonevalue,thatofsettingoutmystrangenecessityofchoicebetweenanabsentandapresentlove,andgoonwiththestoryofaneventinwhichtherewasnoroomtobalancescruples。
WhileIsatmusingonthecouchthecurtainwasdrawn,andamanenteredbearingatorch。
ItwasGuatemocashehadcomefromthefray,which,exceptforitsharvestofburninghouses,wasfinishedforthatnight。
Theplumeswereshornfromhishead,hisgoldenarmourwashackedbytheSpanishswords,andhebledfromashotwoundintheneck。
’Greeting,Teule,’hesaid。
’CertainlyIneverthoughttoseeyoualiveto-night,ormyselfeitherforthatmatter。
Butitisastrangeworld,andnow,ifneverbeforeinTenoctitlan,thosethingshappenforwhichwelooktheleast。
ButIhavenotimeforwords。
Icametosummonyoubeforethecouncil。’
’Whatistobemyfate?’Iasked。
’Tobedraggedbacktothestoneofsacrifice?’
’Nay,havenofearofthat。
ButfortherestIcannotsay。
Inanhouryoumaybedeadorgreatamongus,ifanyofuscanbecalledgreatinthesedaysofshame。
Otomiehasworkedwellforyouamongtheprincesandthecounsellors,soshesays,andifyouhaveaheart,youshouldbegratefultoher,foritseemstomethatfewwomenhavelovedamansomuch。
Asforme,Ihavebeenemployedelsewhere,’andheglancedathisrentarmour,’butIwillliftupmyvoiceforyou。
Nowcome,friend,forthetorchburnslow。
Bythistimeyoumustbewellseasonedindangers;onemoreorlesswillmatteraslittletoyouastome。’
ThenIroseandfollowedhimintothegreatcedar-panelledhall,wherethatverymorningIhadreceivedadorationasagod。
NowI
wasagodnolonger,butaprisonerontrialforhislife。
UponthedaiswhereIhadstoodinthehourofmygodheadweregatheredthoseoftheprincesandcounsellorswhowereleftalive。
Someofthem,likeGuatemoc,werecladinrentandbloodymail,othersintheircustomarydress,andoneinapriest’srobe。
Theyhadonlytwothingsincommonamongthem,thesternnessoftheirfacesandthegreatnessoftheirrank,andtheysattherethisnightnottodecidemyfate,whichwasbutalittlething,buttotakecounselastohowtheymightexpeltheSpaniardsbeforethecitywasdestroyed。
WhenIentered,amaninmail,whosatinthecentreofthehalfcircle,andinwhomIknewCuitlahua,whowouldbeemperorshouldMontezumadie,lookedupquicklyandsaid:
’Whoisthis,Guatemoc,thatyoubringwithyou?
Ah!Iremember;
theTeulethatwasthegodTezcat,andwhoescapedthesacrificeto-day。
Listen,nobles。
Whatistobedonewiththisman?
Say,isitlawfulthathebeledbacktosacrifice?’
Thenthepriestanswered:’Igrievetosaythatitisnotlawfulmostnobleprince。
Thismanhaslainonthealtarofthegod,hehasevenbeenwoundedbytheholyknife。
第38章