首页 >出版文学> MOLL FLANDERS>第39章

第39章

  presentlytoldthepeopleofthehouse,thatIdursttosaythose
  werenotthepersons,forthatIknewoneofthegentlemento
  beaveryhonestperson,andofagoodestateinLancashire。
  Theconstablewhocamewiththehue-and-crywasimmediately
  informedofthis,andcameovertometobesatisfiedfrommy
  ownmouth,andIassuredhimthatIsawthethreegentlemen
  asIwasatthewindow;thatIsawthemafterwardsatthe
  windowsoftheroomtheydinedin;thatIsawthemafterwards
  takehorse,andIcouldassurehimIknewoneofthemtobe
  suchaman,thathewasagentlemanofaverygoodestate,and
  anundoubtedcharacterinLancashire,fromwhenceIwasjust
  nowuponmyjourney。
  TheassurancewithwhichIdeliveredthisgavethemobgentry
  acheck,andgavetheconstablesuchsatisfaction,thathe
  immediatelysoundedaretreat,toldhispeoplethesewerenot
  themen,butthathehadanaccounttheywereveryhonest
  gentlemen;andsotheywentallbackagain。
  Whatthetruthof
  thematterwasIknewnot,butcertainitwasthatthecoaches
  wererobbedatDunstableHill,and#560inmoneytaken;
  besides,someofthelacemerchantsthatalwaystravelthatway
  hadbeenvisitedtoo。
  Astothethreegentlemen,thatremains
  tobeexplainedhereafter。
  Well,thisalarmstoppedusanotherday,thoughmyspouse
  wasfortravelling,andtoldmethatitwasalwayssafesttravelling
  afterarobbery,forthatthethievesweresuretobegonefar
  enoughoffwhentheyhadalarmedthecountry;butIwasafraid
  anduneasy,andindeedprincipallylestmyoldacquaintance
  shouldbeupontheroadstill,andshouldchancetoseeme。
  Ineverlivedfourpleasanterdaystogetherinmylife。
  Iwasa
  merebrideallthiswhile,andmynewspousestrovetomake
  meentirelyeasyineverything。
  Ohcouldthisstateoflifehave
  continued,howhadallmypasttroublesbeenforgot,andmy
  futuresorrowsavoided!
  ButIhadapastlifeofamostwretched
  kindtoaccountfor,someifitinthisworldaswellasinanother。
  Wecameawaythefifthday;andmylandlord,becausehesaw
  meuneasy,mountedhimself,hisson,andthreehonestcountry
  fellowswithgoodfirearms,and,withouttellingusofit,
  followedthecoach,andwouldseeussafeintoDunstable。
  coulddonolessthantreatthemveryhandsomelyatDunstable,
  whichcostmyspouseabouttenortwelveshillings,and
  somethinghegavethemenfortheirtimetoo,butmylandlord
  wouldtakenothingforhimself。
  Thiswasthemosthappycontrivanceformethatcouldhave
  fallenout;forhadIcometoLondonunmarried,Imusteither
  havecometohimforthefirstnight’sentertainment,orhave
  discoveredtohimthatIhadnotoneacquaintanceinthewhole
  cityofLondonthatcouldreceiveapoorbridgeforthefirst
  night’slodgingwithherspouse。
  Butnow,beinganoldmarried
  woman,Imadenoscrupleofgoingdirectlyhomewithhim,
  andthereItookpossessionatonceofahousewellfurnished,
  andahusbandinverygoodcircumstances,sothatIhada
  prospectofaveryhappylife,ifIknewhowtomanageit;and
  IhadleisuretoconsideroftherealvalueofthelifeIwaslikely
  tolive。
  Howdifferentitwastobefromthelooseungoverned
  partIhadactedbefore,andhowmuchhappieralifeofvirtue
  andsobrietyis,thanthatwhichwecallalifeofpleasure。
  Ohhadthisparticularsceneoflifelasted,orhadIlearned
  fromthattimeIenjoyedit,tohavetastedthetruesweetness
  ofit,andhadInotfallenintothatpovertywhichisthesure
  baneofvirtue,howhappyhadIbeen,notonlyhere,butperhaps
  forever!
  forwhileIlivedthus,Iwasreallyapenitentforall
  mylifepast。
  Ilookedbackonitwithabhorrence,andmight
  trulybesaidtohatemyselfforit。
  Ioftenreflectedhowmy
  loverattheBath,struckatthehandofGod,repentedand
  abandonedme,andrefusedtoseemeanymore,thoughhe
  lovedmetoanextreme;butI,promptedbythatworstof
  devils,poverty,returnedtothevilepractice,andmadethe
  advantageofwhattheycallahandsomefacetobetherelief
  tomynecessities,andbeautybeapimptovice。
  NowIseemedlandedinasafeharbour,afterthestormyvoyage
  oflifepastwasatanend,andIbegantobethankfulformy
  deliverance。
  Isatmanyanhourbymyself,andweptoverthe
  remembranceofpastfollies,andthedreadfulextravagances
  ofawickedlife,andsometimesIflatteredmyselfthatIhad
  sincerelyrepented。
  Buttherearetemptationswhichitisnotinthepowerofhuman
  naturetoresist,andfewknowwhatwouldbetheircaseif
  driventothesameexigencies。
  Ascovetousnessistherootof
  allevil,sopovertyis,Ibelieve,theworstofallsnares。
  ButI
  waivethatdiscoursetillIcometoanexperiment。
  Ilivewiththishusbandwiththeutmosttranquillity;hewasa
  quiet,sensible,soberman;virtuous,modest,sincere,andin
  hisbusinessdiligentandjust。
  Hisbusinesswasinanarrow
  compass,andhisincomesufficienttoaplentifulwayofliving
  intheordinaryway。
  Idonotsaytokeepanequipage,and
  makeafigure,astheworldcallsit,nordidIexpectit,ordesire
  it;forasIabhorredthelevityandextravaganceofmyformer
  life,soIchosenowtoliveretired,frugal,andwithinourselves。
  Ikeptnocompany,madenovisits;mindedmyfamily,and
  obligedmyhusband;andthiskindoflifebecameapleasuretome。
  Welivedinanuninterruptedcourseofeaseandcontentfor
  fiveyears,whenasuddenblowfromanalmostinvisiblehand
  blastedallmyhappiness,andturnedmeoutintotheworldin
  aconditionthereverseofallthathadbeenbeforeit。
  Myhusbandhavingtrustedoneofhisfellow-clerkswithasum
  ofmoney,toomuchforourfortunestobearthelossof,the
  clerkfailed,andthelossfellveryheavyonmyhusband,yetit
  wasnotsogreatneitherbutthat,ifhehadhadspiritandcourage
  tohavelookedhismisfortunesintheface,hiscreditwasso
  goodthat,asItoldhim,hewouldeasilyrecoverit;fortosink
  undertroubleistodoubletheweight,andhethatwilldieinit,
  shalldieinit。
  Itwasinvaintospeakcomfortablytohim;thewoundhad
  sunktoodeep;itwasastabthattouchedthevitals;hegrew
  melancholyanddisconsolate,andfromthencelethargic,and
  died。
  Iforesawtheblow,andwasextremelyoppressedinmy
  mind,forIsawevidentlythatifhediedIwasundone。
  Ihadhadtwochildrenbyhimandnomore,for,totellthe
  truth,itbegantobetimeformetoleavebearingchildren,for
  Iwasnoweight-and-forty,andIsupposeifhehadlivedI
  shouldhavehadnomore。
  Iwasnowleftinadismalanddisconsolatecaseindeed,and
  inseveralthingsworsethanever。
  First,itwaspastthe
  flourishingtimewithmewhenImightexpecttobecourted
  foramistress;thatagreeableparthaddeclinedsometime,and
  theruinsonlyappearedofwhathadbeen;andthatwhichwas
  worsethanallthis,thatIwasthemostdejected,disconsolate
  creaturealive。
  Ithathadencouragedmyhusband,and
  endeavouredtosupporthisspiritsunderhistrouble,couldnot
  supportmyown;IwantedthatspiritintroublewhichItold
  himwassonecessarytohimforbearingtheburthen。
  Butmycasewasindeeddeplorable,forIwasleftperfectly
  friendlessandhelpless,andthelossmyhusbandhadsustained
  hadreducedhiscircumstancessolow,thatthoughindeedI
  wasnotindebt,yetIcouldeasilyforeseethatwhatwasleft
  wouldnotsupportmelong;thatwhileitwasteddailyfor
  subsistence,Ihadnotwaytoincreaseitoneshilling,sothat
  itwouldbesoonallspent,andthenIsawnothingbeforeme
  buttheutmostdistress;andthisrepresenteditselfsolivelyto
  mythoughts,thatitseemedasifitwascome,beforeitwas
  reallyverynear;alsomyveryapprehensionsdoubledthemisery,
  forIfanciedeverysixpencethatIpaidforaloafofbreadwas
  thelastthatIhadintheworld,andthatto-morrowIwasto
  fast,andbestarvedtodeath。
  InthisdistressIhadnoassistant,nofriendtocomfortor
  adviseme;Isatandcriedandtormentedmyselfnightandday,
  wringingmyhands,andsometimesravinglikeadistracted
  woman;andindeedIhaveoftenwonderedithadnotaffected
  myreason,forIhadthevapourstosuchadegree,thatmy
  understandingwassometimesquitelostinfanciesand
  imaginations。
  Ilivedtwoyearsinthisdismalcondition,wastingthatlittleI
  had,weepingcontinuallyovermydismalcircumstances,and,
  asitwere,onlybleedingtodeath,withouttheleasthopeor
  prospectofhelpfromGodorman;andnowIhadcriedtoo
  long,andsooften,thattearswere,asImightsay,exhausted,
  andIbegantobedesperate,forIgrewpoorapace。
  ForalittlereliefIhadputoffmyhouseandtooklodgings;
  andasIwasreducingmyliving,soIsoldoffmostofmygoods,
  whichputalittlemoneyinmypocket,andIlivednearayear
  uponthat,spendingverysparingly,anekingthingsouttothe
  utmost;butstillwhenIlookedbeforeme,myveryheartwould
  sinkwithinmeattheinevitableapproachofmiseryandwant。
  Ohletnonereadthispartwithoutseriouslyreflectingonthe
  circumstancesofadesolatestate,andhowtheywouldgrapple
  withmerewantoffriendsandwantofbread;itwillcertainly
  makethemthinknotofsparingwhattheyhaveonly,butof
  lookinguptoheavenforsupport,andofthewiseman’sprayer,
  ’Givemenotpoverty,lestIsteal。’
  Letthemrememberthatatimeofdistressisatimeofdreadful
  temptation,andallthestrengthtoresististakenaway;
  poverty
  presses,thesoulismadedesperatebydistress,andwhatcan
  bedone?
  Itwasoneevening,whenbeingbrought,asImay
  say,tothelastgasp,IthinkImaytrulysayIwasdistracted
  andraving,whenpromptedbyIknownotwhatspirit,and,as
  itwere,doingIdidnotknowwhatorwhy,Idressedmefor
  Ihadstillprettygoodclothesandwentout。
  Iamverysure
  IhadnomannerofdesigninmyheadwhenIwentout;Ineither
  knewnorconsideredwheretogo,oronwhatbusiness;butas
  thedevilcarriedmeoutandlaidhisbaitforme,sohebrought
  me,tobesure,totheplace,forIknewnotwhitherIwasgoing
  orwhatIdid。
  Wanderingthusabout,Iknewnotwhither,Ipassedbyan
  apothecary’sshopinLeadenhallStreet,whenIsawlieona
  stooljustbeforethecounteralittlebundlewrappedinawhite
  cloth;beyonditstoodamaid-servantwithherbacktoit,
  lookingtowardsthetopoftheshop,wheretheapothecary’s
  apprentice,asIsuppose,wasstandinguponthecounter,with
  hisbackalsotothedoor,andacandleinhishand,looking
  andreachinguptotheuppershelfforsomethinghewanted,
  sothatbothwereengagedmightyearnestly,andnobodyelse
  intheshop。
  Thiswasthebait;andthedevil,whoIsaidlaidthesnare,as
  readilypromptedmeasifhehadspoke,forIremember,and
  shallneverforgetit,’twaslikeavoicespokentomeovermy
  shoulder,’Takethebundle;bequick;doitthismoment。’