However，withallthis，andallthatIhadsecuredbefore，I
　　found，uponcastingthingsup，mycasewasverymuchaltered，
　　anymyfortunemuchlessened；for，includingthehollandsand
　　aparceloffinemuslins，whichIcarriedoffbefore，andsome
　　plate，andotherthings，IfoundIcouldhardlymusterup#500；
　　andmyconditionwasveryodd，forthoughIhadnochildI
　　hadhadonebymygentlemandraper，butitwasburied，yetI
　　wasawidowbewitched；Ihadahusbandandnohusband，and
　　Icouldnotpretendtomarryagain，thoughIknewwellenough
　　myhusbandwouldneverseeEnglandanymore，ifhelivedfifty
　　years。
　　Thus，Isay，Iwaslimitedfrommarriage，whatoffer
　　mightsoeverbemademe；andIhadnotonefriendtoadvise
　　withintheconditionIwasin，leasenotoneIdursttrustthe
　　secretofmycircumstancesto，forifthecommissionerswere
　　tohavebeeninformedwhereIwas，Ishouldhavebeenfetched
　　upandexamineduponoath，andallIhavesavedbetakenaware
　　fromme。
　　Upontheseapprehensions，thefirstthingIdidwastogoquite
　　outofmyknowledge，andgobyanothername。
　　ThisIdid
　　effectually，forIwentintotheMinttoo，tooklodgingsina
　　veryprivateplace，dressedupinthehabitofawidow，and
　　calledmyselfMrs。Flanders。
　　Here，however，Iconcealedmyself，andthoughmynew
　　acquaintancesknewnothingofme，yetIsoongotagreat
　　dealofcompanyaboutme；andwhetheritbethatwomenare
　　scarceamongthesortsofpeoplethatgenerallyaretobefound
　　there，orthatsomeconsolationsinthemiseriesoftheplace
　　aremorerequisitethanonotheroccasions，Isoonfoundan
　　agreeablewomanwasexceedinglyvaluableamongthesons
　　ofafflictionthere，andthatthosethatwantedmoneytopay
　　halfacrownonthepoundtotheircreditors，andthatrunindebt
　　atthesignoftheBullfortheirdinners，wouldyetfindmoney
　　forasupper，iftheylikedthewoman。
　　However，Ikeptmyselfsafeyet，thoughIbegan，likemyLord
　　Rochester’smistress，thatlovedhiscompany，butwouldnot
　　admithimfarther，tohavethescandalofawhore，withoutthe
　　joy；anduponthisscore，tiredwiththeplace，andindeed
　　withthecompanytoo，Ibegantothinkofremoving。
　　Itwasindeedasubjectofstrangereflectiontometoseemen
　　whowereoverwhelmedinperplexedcircumstances，who
　　werereducedsomedegreesbelowbeingruined，whosefamilies
　　wereobjectsoftheirownterrorandotherpeople’scharity，
　　yetwhileapennylasted，nay，evenbeyondit，endeavouringto
　　drownthemselves，labouringtoforgetformerthings，which
　　notitwasthepropertimetoremember，makingmoreworkfor
　　repentance，andsinningon，asaremedyforsinpast。
　　Butitisnoneofmytalenttopreach；thesemenweretoo
　　wicked，evenforme。
　　Therewassomethinghorridandabsurd
　　intheirwayofsinning，foritwasallaforceevenupon
　　themselves；theydidnotonlyactagainstconscience，but
　　againstnature；theyputarapeupontheirtempertodrownthe
　　reflections，whichtheircircumstancescontinuallygavethem；
　　andnothingwasmoreeasythantoseehowsighswould
　　interrupttheirsongs，andpalenessandanguishsitupontheir
　　brows，inspiteoftheforcedsmilestheyputon；nay，sometimes
　　itwouldbreakoutattheirverymouthswhentheyhadparted
　　withtheirmoneyforalewdtreatorawickedembrace。
　　Ihave
　　heardthem，turningabout，fetchadeepsigh，andcry，’Whata
　　dogamI！
　　Well，Betty，mydear，I’lldrinkthyhealth，though’；
　　meaningthehonestwife，thatperhapshadnotahalf-crown
　　forherselfandthreeorfourchildren。
　　Thenextmorningthey
　　areattheirpenitentialsagain；andperhapsthepoorweeping
　　wifecomesovertohim，eitherbringshimsomeaccountof
　　whathiscreditorsaredoing，andhowsheandthechildrenare
　　turnedoutofdoors，orsomeotherdreadfulnews；andthis
　　addstohisself-reproaches；butwhenhehasthoughtandpored
　　onittillheisalmostmad，havingnoprinciplestosupporthim，
　　nothingwithinhimorabovehimtocomforthim，butfinding
　　italldarknessoneveryside，hefliestothesamereliefagain，
　　viz。todrinkitaway，debauchitaway，andfallinginto
　　companyofmeninjustthesameconditionwithhimself，he
　　repeatsthecrime，andthushegoeseverydayonestep
　　onwardofhiswaytodestruction。
　　Iwasnotwickedenoughforsuchfellowsastheseyet。
　　On
　　thecontrary，IbegantoconsiderhereveryseriouslywhatI
　　hadtodo；howthingsstoodwithme，andwhatcourseIought
　　totake。
　　IknewIhadnofriends，no，notonefriendorrelation
　　intheworld；andthatlittleIhadleftapparentlywasted，which
　　whenitwasgone，Isawnothingbutmiseryandstarvingwas
　　beforeme。
　　Upontheseconsiderations，Isay，andfilledwith
　　horrorattheplaceIwasin，andthedreadfulobjectswhichI
　　hadalwaysbeforeme，Iresolvedtobegone。
　　Ihadmadeanacquaintancewithaverysober，goodsortofa
　　woman，whowasawidowtoo，likeme，butinbettercircumstances。
　　Herhusbandhadbeenacaptainofamerchantship，andhaving
　　hadthemisfortunetobecastawaycominghomeonavoyage
　　fromtheWestIndies，whichwouldhavebeenveryprofitable
　　ifhehadcomesafe，wassoreducedbytheloss，thatthough
　　hehadsavedhislifethen，itbrokehisheart，andkilledhim
　　afterwards；andhiswidow，beingpursuedbythecreditors，was
　　forcedtotakeshelterintheMint。
　　Shesoonmadethingsup
　　withthehelpoffriends，andwasatlibertyagain；andfinding
　　thatIratherwastheretobeconcealed，thanbyanyparticular
　　prosecutionsandfindingalsothatIagreedwithher，orrather
　　shewithme，inajustabhorrenceoftheplaceandofthe
　　company，sheinvitedtogohomewithhertillIcouldput
　　myselfinsomepostureofsettlingintheworldtomymind；
　　withaltellingme，thatitwastentoonebutsomegoodcaptain
　　ofashipmighttakeafancytome，andcourtme，inthatpart
　　ofthetownwhereshelived。
　　Iacceptedheroffer，andwaswithherhalfayear，andshould
　　havebeenlonger，butinthatintervalwhatsheproposedtome
　　happenedtoherself，andshemarriedverymuchtoheradvantage。
　　Butwhosefortunesoeverwasupontheincrease，mineseemed
　　tobeuponthewane，andIfoundnothingpresent，excepttwo
　　orthreeboatswains，orsuchfellows，butasforthecommanders，
　　theyweregenerallyoftwosorts:
　　1。Suchas，havinggood
　　business，thatistosay，agoodship，resolvednottomarry
　　butwithadvantage，thatis，withagoodfortune；2。Suchas，
　　beingoutofemploy，wantedawifetohelpthemtoaship；I
　　mean1awifewho，havingsomemoney，couldenablethem
　　tohold，astheycallit，agoodpartofashipthemselves，soto
　　encourageownerstocomein；or2awifewho，ifshehadnot
　　money，hadfriendswhowereconcernedinshipping，andso
　　couldhelptoputtheyoungmanintoagoodship，whichto
　　themisasgoodasaportion；andneitherofthesewasmycase，
　　soIlookedlikeonethatwastolieonhand。
　　ThisknowledgeIsoonlearnedbyexperience，viz。thatthe
　　stateofthingswasalteredasto
　　matrimony，andthatIwasnot
　　toexpectatLondonwhatIhadfoundinthecountry:
　　that
　　marriageswereheretheconsequencesofpoliticschemesfor
　　forminginterests，andcarryingonbusiness，andthatLovehad
　　noshare，orbutverylittle，inthematter。
　　Thatasmysister-in-lawatColchesterhadsaid，beauty，wit，
　　manners，sense，goodhumour，goodbehaviour，education，
　　virtue，piety，oranyotherqualification，whetherofbodyor
　　mind，hadnopowertorecommend；thatmoneyonlymadea
　　womanagreeable；thatmenchosemistressesindeedbythe
　　gustoftheiraffection，anditwasrequisitetoawhoretobe
　　handsome，well-shaped，haveagoodmienandagraceful
　　behaviour；butthatforawife，nodeformitywouldshockthe
　　fancy，noillqualitiesthejudgment；themoneywasthething；
　　theportionwasneithercrookednormonstrous，butthemoney
　　wasalwaysagreeable，whateverthewifewas。
　　Ontheotherhand，asthemarketranveryunhappilyonthe
　　men’sside，Ifoundthewomenhadlosttheprivilegeofsaying
　　No；thatitwasafavournowforawomantohavetheQuestion
　　asked，andifanyyoungladyhadsomucharroganceasto
　　counterfeitanegative，sheneverhadtheopportunitygiven
　　herofdenyingtwice，muchlessofrecoveringthatfalsestep，
　　andacceptingwhatshehadbutseemedtodecline。
　　Themen
　　hadsuchchoiceeverywhere，thatthecaseofthewomenwas
　　veryunhappy；fortheyseemedtoplyateverydoor，andifthe
　　manwasbygreatchancerefusedatonehouse，hewassureto
　　bereceivedatthenext。
　　Besidesthis，Iobservedthatthemenmadenoscrupletoset
　　themselvesout，andtogoa-fortunehunting，astheycallit，
　　whentheyhadreallynofortunethemselvestodemandit，or
　　merittodeserveit；andthattheycarrieditsohigh，thatawoman
　　wasscarceallowedtoinquireafterthecharacterorestateof
　　thepersonthatpretendedtoher。
　　ThisIhadanexampleof，in
　　ayoungladyinthenexthousetome，andwithwhomIhad
　　contractedanintimacy；shewascourtedbyayoungcaptain，
　　andthoughshehadnear#2000toherfortune，shedidbut
　　inquireofsomeofhisneighboursabouthischaracter，his
　　morals，orsubstance，andhetookoccasionatthenextvisitto
　　letherknow，truly，thathetookitveryill，andthatheshould
　　notgiveherthetroubleofhisvisitsanymore。
　　Iheardofit，
　　andIhadbegunmyacquaintancewithher，Iwenttoseeher
　　uponit。
　　Sheenteredintoacloseconversationwithmeabout
　　it，andunbosomedherselfveryfreely。
　　Iperceivedpresently
　　thatthoughshethoughtherselfveryillused，yetshehadno
　　powertoresentit，andwasexceedinglypiquedthatshehad
　　losthim，andparticularlythatanotherof
　　lessfortunehad
　　gainedhim。