Maybehehasforgottenwherehereallydidputit,andistryingtoremember。I’llgivehimanotherchance。"
TheghostappearedgratefulanddelightedatseeingJoepreparetofollowhim,andledthewayintotheattic,pointedtotheceiling,andvanished。
"Well,he’shititthistime,Idohope,"saidmybrother—in—law;
andnextdaytheysettoworktotaketheroofofftheplace。
Ittookthemthreedaystogettheroofthoroughlyoff,andalltheyfoundwasabird’snest;aftersecuringwhichtheycoveredupthehousewithtarpaulins,tokeepitdry。
Youmighthavethoughtthatwouldhavecuredthepoorfellowoflookingfortreasure。Butitdidn’t。
Hesaidtheremustbesomethinginitall,ortheghostwouldneverkeeponcomingasitdid;andthat,havinggonesofar,hewouldgoontotheend,andsolvethemystery,costwhatitmight。
Nightafternight,hewouldgetoutofhisbedandfollowthatspectraloldfraudaboutthehouse。Eachnight,theoldmanwouldindicateadifferentplace;and,oneachfollowingday,mybrother—
in—lawwouldproceedtobreakupthemillatthepointindicated,andlookforthetreasure。Attheendofthreeweeks,therewasnotaroominthemillfittolivein。Everywallhadbeenpulleddown,everyfloorhadbeentakenup,everyceilinghadhadaholeknockedinit。Andthen,assuddenlyastheyhadbegun,theghost’svisitsceased;andmybrother—in—lawwasleftinpeace,torebuildtheplaceathisleisure。
"Whatinducedtheoldimagetoplaysuchasillytrickuponafamilymanandaratepayer?"Ah!that’sjustwhatIcannottellyou。
Somesaidthattheghostofthewickedoldmanhaddoneittopunishmybrother—in—lawfornotbelievinginhimatfirst;whileothersheldthattheapparitionwasprobablythatofsomedeceasedlocalplumberandglazier,whowouldnaturallytakeaninterestinseeingahouseknockedaboutandspoilt。Butnobodyknewanythingforcertain。
INTERLUDE
Wehadsomemorepunch,andthenthecuratetoldusastory。
Icouldnotmakeheadortailofthecurate’sstory,soIcannotretailittoyou。Wenoneofuscouldmakeheadortailofthatstory。Itwasagoodstoryenough,sofarasmaterialwent。Thereseemedtobeanenormousamountofplot,andenoughincidenttohavemadeadozennovels。Ineverbeforeheardastorycontainingsomuchincident,noronedealingwithsomanyvariedcharacters。
Ishouldsaythateveryhumanbeingourcuratehadeverknownormet,orheardof,wasbroughtintothatstory。Thereweresimplyhundredsofthem。Everyfivesecondshewouldintroduceintothetaleacompletelyfreshcollectionofcharactersaccompaniedbyabrandnewsetofincidents。
Thiswasthesortofstoryitwas:—
"Well,then,myunclewentintothegarden,andgothisgun,but,ofcourse,itwasn’tthere,andScrogginssaidhedidn’tbelieveit。"
"Didn’tbelievewhat?Who’sScroggins?"
"Scroggins!Oh,whyhewastheotherman,youknow——itwaswife。"
"WHATwashiswife——what’sSHEgottodowithit?"
"Why,that’swhatI’mtellingyou。Itwasshethatfoundthehat。
She’dcomeupwithhercousintoLondon——hercousinwasmysister—
in—law,andtheotherniecehadmarriedamannamedEvans,andEvans,afteritwasallover,hadtakentheboxroundtoMr。
Jacobs’,becauseJacobs’fatherhadseentheman,whenhewasalive,andwhenhewasdead,Joseph——"
"Nowlookhere,neveryoumindEvansandthebox;what’sbecomeofyouruncleandthegun?"
"Thegun!Whatgun?"
"Why,thegunthatyouruncleusedtokeepinthegarden,andthatwasn’tthere。Whatdidhedowithit?Didhekillanyofthesepeoplewithit——theseJacobsesandEvansesandScrogginsesandJosephses?Because,ifso,itwasagoodandusefulwork,andweshouldenjoyhearingaboutit。"
"No——ohno——howcouldhe?——hehadbeenbuiltupaliveinthewall,youknow,andwhenEdwardIVspoketotheabbotaboutit,mysistersaidthatinherthenstateofhealthshecouldnotandwouldnot,asitwasendangeringthechild’slife。SotheychristeneditHoratio,afterherownson,whohadbeenkilledatWaterloobeforehewasborn,andLordNapierhimselfsaid——"
"Lookhere,doyouknowwhatyouaretalkingabout?"weaskedhimatthispoint。
Hesaid"No,"butheknewitwaseverywordofittrue,becausehisaunthadseenitherself。Whereuponwecoveredhimoverwiththetablecloth,andhewenttosleep。
AndthenUncletoldusastory。
Unclesaidhiswasarealstory。
THEGHOSTOFTHEBLUECHAMBER
(MyUncle’sStory)
"Idon’twanttomakeyoufellowsnervous,"beganmyuncleinapeculiarlyimpressive,nottosayblood—curdling,toneofvoice,"andifyouwouldratherthatIdidnotmentionit,Iwon’t;but,asamatteroffact,thisveryhouse,inwhichwearenowsitting,ishaunted。"
"Youdon’tsaythat!"exclaimedMr。Coombes。
"What’stheuseofyoursayingIdon’tsayitwhenIhavejustsaidit?"retortedmyunclesomewhatpettishly。"Youdotalksofoolishly。Itellyouthehouseishaunted。RegularlyonChristmasEvetheBlueChamber[theycalledtheroomnexttothenurserythe’bluechamber,’atmyuncle’s,mostofthetoiletservicebeingofthatshade]ishauntedbytheghostofasinfulman——amanwhooncekilledaChristmaswaitwithalumpofcoal。"
"Howdidhedoit?"askedMr。Coombes,witheageranxiousness。
"Wasitdifficult?"
"Idonotknowhowhedidit,"repliedmyuncle;"hedidnotexplaintheprocess。Thewaithadtakenupapositionjustinsidethefrontgate,andwassingingaballad。Itispresumedthat,whenheopenedhismouthforBflat,thelumpofcoalwasthrownbythesinfulmanfromoneofthewindows,andthatitwentdownthewait’sthroatandchokedhim。"
"Youwanttobeagoodshot,butitiscertainlyworthtrying,"
murmuredMr。Coombesthoughtfully。
"Butthatwasnothisonlycrime,alas!"addedmyuncle。"Priortothathehadkilledasolocornet—player。"
"No!Isthatreallyafact?"exclaimedMr。Coombes。
"Ofcourseit’safact,"answeredmyuncletestily;"atallevents,asmuchafactasyoucanexpecttogetinacaseofthissort。
"Howverycaptiousyouarethisevening。Thecircumstantialevidencewasoverwhelming。Thepoorfellow,thecornet—player,hadbeenintheneighbourhoodbarelyamonth。OldMr。Bishop,whokeptthe’JollySandBoys’atthetime,andfromwhomIhadthestory,saidhehadneverknownamorehard—workingandenergeticsolocornet—player。He,thecornet—player,onlyknewtwotunes,butMr。
Bishopsaidthatthemancouldnothaveplayedwithmorevigour,orformorehoursinaday,ifhehadknownforty。Thetwotuneshedidplaywere"AnnieLaurie"and"Home,SweetHome";andasregardedhisperformanceoftheformermelody,Mr。Bishopsaidthatamerechildcouldhavetoldwhatitwasmeantfor。
"Thismusician——thispoor,friendlessartistusedtocomeregularlyandplayinthisstreetjustoppositefortwohourseveryevening。
Oneeveninghewasseen,evidentlyinresponsetoaninvitation,goingintothisveryhouse,BUTWASNEVERSEENCOMINGOUTOFIT!"
"Didthetownsfolktryofferinganyrewardforhisrecovery?"askedMr。Coombes。
"Notaha’penny,"repliedmyuncle。
"Anothersummer,"continuedmyuncle,"aGermanbandvisitedhere,intending——sotheyannouncedontheirarrival——tostaytilltheautumn。
"Ontheseconddayfromtheirarrival,thewholecompany,asfineandhealthyabodyofmenasonecouldwishtosee,wereinvitedtodinnerbythissinfulman,and,afterspendingthewholeofthenexttwenty—fourhoursinbed,leftthetownabrokenanddyspepticcrew;theparishdoctor,whohadattendedthem,givingitashisopinionthatitwasdoubtfuliftheywould,anyofthem,befittoplayanairagain。"
"You——youdon’tknowtherecipe,doyou?"askedMr。Coombes。
"UnfortunatelyIdonot,"repliedmyuncle;"butthechiefingredientwassaidtohavebeenrailwayrefreshment—roompork—pie。
"Iforgettheman’sothercrimes,"myunclewenton;"Iusedtoknowthemallatonetime,butmymemoryisnotwhatitwas。Idonot,however,believeIamdoinghismemoryaninjusticeinbelievingthathewasnotentirelyunconnectedwiththedeath,andsubsequentburial,ofagentlemanwhousedtoplaytheharpwithhistoes;andthatneitherwashealtogetherunresponsibleforthelonelygraveofanunknownstrangerwhohadoncevisitedtheneighbourhood,anItalianpeasantlad,aperformeruponthebarrel—
organ。
"EveryChristmasEve,"saidmyuncle,cleavingwithlowimpressivetonesthestrangeawedsilencethat,likeashadow,seemedtohaveslowlystolenintoandsettleddownupontheroom,"theghostofthissinfulmanhauntstheBlueChamber,inthisveryhouse。
There,frommidnightuntilcock—crow,amidwildmuffledshrieksandgroansandmockinglaughterandtheghostlysoundofhorridblows,itdoesfiercephantomfightwiththespiritsofthesolocornet—
playerandthemurderedwait,assistedatintervals,bytheshadesoftheGermanband;whiletheghostofthestrangledharpistplaysmadghostlymelodieswithghostlytoesontheghostofabrokenharp。
UnclesaidtheBlueChamberwascomparativelyuselessasasleeping—apartmentonChristmasEve。
"Hark!"saiduncle,raisingawarninghandtowardstheceiling,whileweheldourbreath,andlistened;"Hark!Ibelievetheyareatitnow——intheBLUECHAMBER!"
THEBLUECHAMBER
Iroseup,andsaidthatIwouldsleepintheBlueChamber。
BeforeItellyoumyownstory,however——thestoryofwhathappenedintheBlueChamber——Iwouldwishtoprefaceitwith—
APERSONALEXPLANATION
Ifeelagooddealofhesitationabouttellingyouthisstoryofmyown。YouseeitisnotastoryliketheotherstoriesthatIhavebeentellingyou,orratherthatTeddyBiffles,Mr。Coombes,andmyunclehavebeentellingyou:itisatruestory。ItisnotastorytoldbyapersonsittingroundafireonChristmasEve,drinkingwhiskypunch:itisarecordofeventsthatactuallyhappened。
Indeed,itisnota’story’atall,inthecommonlyacceptedmeaningoftheword:itisareport。Itis,Ifeel,almostoutofplaceinabookofthiskind。Itismoresuitabletoabiography,oranEnglishhistory。
Thereisanotherthingthatmakesitdifficultformetotellyouthisstory,andthatis,thatitisallaboutmyself。Intellingyouthisstory,Ishallhavetokeepontalkingaboutmyself;andtalkingaboutourselvesiswhatwemodern—dayauthorshaveastrongobjectiontodoing。Ifweliterarymenofthenewschoolhaveonepraiseworthyyearningmoreeverpresenttoourmindsthananotheritistheyearningnevertoappearintheslightestdegreeegotistical。
Imyself,soIamtold,carrythiscoyness——thisshrinkingreticenceconcerninganythingconnectedwithmyownpersonality,almosttoofar;andpeoplegrumbleatmebecauseofit。Peoplecometomeandsay—
"Well,now,whydon’tyoutalkaboutyourselfabit?That’swhatwewanttoreadabout。Tellussomethingaboutyourself。"
ButIhavealwaysreplied,"No。"ItisnotthatIdonotthinkthesubjectaninterestingone。Icannotmyselfconceiveofanytopicmorelikelytoprovefascinatingtotheworldasawhole,oratalleventstotheculturedportionofit。ButIwillnotdoit,onprinciple。Itisinartistic,anditsetsabadexampletotheyoungermen。Otherwriters(afewofthem)doit,Iknow;butI
willnot——notasarule。
Underordinarycircumstances,therefore,Ishouldnottellyouthisstoryatall。Ishouldsaytomyself,"No!Itisagoodstory,itisamoralstory,itisastrange,weird,enthrallingsortofastory;andthepublic,Iknow,wouldliketohearit;andIshouldliketotellittothem;butitisallaboutmyself——aboutwhatI
said,andwhatIsaw,andwhatIdid,andIcannotdoit。Myretiring,anti—egotisticalnaturewillnotpermitmetotalkinthiswayaboutmyself。"
Butthecircumstancessurroundingthisstoryarenotordinary,andtherearereasonspromptingme,inspiteofmymodesty,toratherwelcometheopportunityofrelatingit。
AsIstatedatthebeginning,therehasbeenunpleasantnessinourfamilyoverthispartyofours,and,asregardsmyselfinparticular,andmyshareintheeventsIamnowabouttosetforth,grossinjusticehasbeendoneme。
Asameansofreplacingmycharacterinitsproperlight——ofdispellingthecloudsofcalumnyandmisconceptionwithwhichithasbeendarkened,Ifeelthatmybestcourseistogiveasimple,dignifiednarrationoftheplainfacts,andallowtheunprejudicedtojudgeforthemselves。Mychiefobject,Icandidlyconfess,istoclearmyselffromunjustaspersion。Spurredbythismotive——andIthinkitisanhonourableandarightmotive——IfindIamenabledtoovercomemyusualrepugnancetotalkingaboutmyself,andcanthustell—
MYOWNSTORY
Assoonasmyunclehadfinishedhisstory,I,asIhavealreadytoldyou,roseupandsaidthat_I_wouldsleepintheBlueChamberthatverynight。
"Never!"criedmyuncle,springingup。"Youshallnotputyourselfinthisdeadlyperil。Besides,thebedisnotmade。"
"Nevermindthebed,"Ireplied。"Ihavelivedinfurnishedapartmentsforgentlemen,andhavebeenaccustomedtosleeponbedsthathaveneverbeenmadefromoneyear’sendtotheother。Donotthwartmeinmyresolve。Iamyoung,andhavehadaclearconsciencenowforoveramonth。Thespiritswillnotharmme。I
mayevendothemsomelittlegood,andinducethemtobequietandgoaway。Besides,Ishouldliketoseetheshow。"
Sayingwhich,Isatdownagain。(HowMr。Coombescametobeinmychair,insteadofattheothersideoftheroom,wherehehadbeenalltheevening;andwhyheneverofferedtoapologisewhenIsatrightdownontopofhim;andwhyyoungBifflesshouldhavetriedtopalmhimselfoffuponmeasmyUncleJohn,andinducedme,underthaterroneousimpression,toshakehimbythehandfornearlythreeminutes,andtellhimthatIhadalwaysregardedhimasfather,——aremattersthat,tothisday,Ihaveneverbeenabletofullyunderstand。)
Theytriedtodissuademefromwhattheytermedmyfoolhardyenterprise,butIremainedfirm,andclaimedmyprivilege。Iwas’theguest。’’Theguest’alwayssleepsinthehauntedchamberonChristmasEve;itishisperquisite。
TheysaidthatifIputitonthatfooting,theyhad,ofcourse,noanswer;andtheylightedacandleforme,andaccompaniedmeupstairsinabody。
WhetherelevatedbythefeelingthatIwasdoinganobleaction,oranimatedbyameregeneralconsciousnessofrectitude,isnotformetosay,butIwentupstairsthatnightwithremarkablebuoyancy。
ItwasasmuchasIcoulddotostopatthelandingwhenIcametoit;IfeltIwantedtogoonuptotheroof。But,withthehelpofthebanisters,Irestrainedmyambition,wishedthemallgood—
night,andwentinandshutthedoor。
Thingsbegantogowrongwithmefromtheveryfirst。Thecandletumbledoutofthecandlestickbeforemyhandwasoffthelock。Itkeptontumblingoutofthecandlestick,andeverytimeIpickedputitupandputitin,ittumbledoutagain:Ineversawsuchaslipperycandle。Igaveupattemptingtousethecandlestickatlast,andcarriedthecandleaboutinmyhand;and,eventhen,itwouldnotkeepupright。SoIgotwildandthrewitoutofwindow,andundressedandwenttobedinthedark。
Ididnotgotosleep,——Ididnotfeelsleepyatall,——Ilayonmyback,lookingupattheceiling,andthinkingofthings。IwishI
couldremembersomeoftheideasthatcametomeasIlaythere,becausetheyweresoamusing。Ilaughedatthemmyselftillthebedshook。
Ihadbeenlyinglikethisforhalfanhourorso,andhadforgottenallabouttheghost,when,oncasuallycastingmyeyesroundtheroom,Inoticedforthefirsttimeasingularlycontented—lookingphantom,sittingintheeasy—chairbythefire,smokingtheghostofalongclaypipe。
Ifanciedforthemoment,asmostpeoplewouldundersimilarcircumstances,thatImustbedreaming。Isatup,andrubbedmyeyes。
No!Itwasaghost,clearenough。Icouldseethebackofthechairthroughhisbody。Helookedovertowardsme,tooktheshadowypipefromhislips,andnodded。
ThemostsurprisingpartofthewholethingtomewasthatIdidnotfeelintheleastalarmed。Ifanything,Iwasratherpleasedtoseehim。Itwascompany。
Isaid,"Goodevening。It’sbeenacoldday!"
Hesaidhehadnotnoticedithimself,butdaredsayIwasright。
Weremainedsilentforafewseconds,andthen,wishingtoputitpleasantly,Isaid,"IbelieveIhavethehonourofaddressingtheghostofthegentlemanwhohadtheaccidentwiththewait?"
Hesmiled,andsaiditwasverygoodofmetorememberit。Onewaitwasnotmuchtoboastof,butstill,everylittlehelped。
Iwassomewhatstaggeredathisanswer。Ihadexpectedagroanofremorse。Theghostappeared,onthecontrary,toberatherconceitedoverthebusiness。Ithoughtthat,ashehadtakenmyreferencetothewaitsoquietly,perhapshewouldnotbeoffendedifIquestionedhimabouttheorgan—grinder。Ifeltcuriousaboutthatpoorboy。
"Isittrue,"Iasked,"thatyouhadahandinthedeathofthatItalianpeasantladwhocametothetownoncewithabarrel—organthatplayednothingbutScotchairs?"
Hequitefiredup。"Hadahandinit!"heexclaimedindignantly。
"Whohasdaredtopretendthatheassistedme?Imurderedtheyouthmyself。Nobodyhelpedme。AloneIdidit。ShowmethemanwhosaysIdidn’t。"
Icalmedhim。IassuredhimthatIhadnever,inmyownmind,doubtedthathewastherealandonlyassassin,andIwentonandaskedhimwhathehaddonewiththebodyofthecornet—playerhehadkilled。
Hesaid,"Towhichonemayyoubealluding?"
"Oh,werethereanymorethen?"Iinquired。
Hesmiled,andgavealittlecough。Hesaidhedidnotliketoappeartobeboasting,butthat,countingtrombones,therewereseven。
"Dearme!"Ireplied,"youmusthavehadquiteabusytimeofit,onewayandanother。"
Hesaidthatperhapsheoughtnottobetheonetosayso,butthatreally,speakingofordinarymiddle—society,hethoughttherewerefewghostswhocouldlookbackuponalifeofmoresustainedusefulness。
Hepuffedawayinsilenceforafewseconds,whileIsatwatchinghim。Ihadneverseenaghostsmokingapipebefore,thatIcouldremember,anditinterestedme。
Iaskedhimwhattobaccoheused,andhereplied,"Theghostofcutcavendish,asarule。"
Heexplainedthattheghostofallthetobaccothatamansmokedinlifebelongedtohimwhenhebecamedead。Hesaidhehimselfhadsmokedagooddealofcutcavendishwhenhewasalive,sothathewaswellsuppliedwiththeghostofitnow。
Iobservedthatitwasausefulthingtoknowthat,andImadeupmymindtosmokeasmuchtobaccoaseverIcouldbeforeIdied。
IthoughtImightaswellstartatonce,soIsaidIwouldjoinhiminapipe,andhesaid,"Do,oldman";andIreachedoverandgotoutthenecessaryparaphernaliafrommycoatpocketandlitup。
Wegrewquitechummyafterthat,andhetoldmeallhiscrimes。Hesaidhehadlivednextdooroncetoayoungladywhowaslearningtoplaytheguitar,whileagentlemanwhopractisedonthebass—
viollivedopposite。Andhe,withfiendishcunning,hadintroducedthesetwounsuspectingyoungpeopletooneanother,andhadpersuadedthemtoelopewitheachotheragainsttheirparents’
wishes,andtaketheirmusicalinstrumentswiththem;andtheyhaddoneso,and,beforethehoneymoonwasover,SHEhadbrokenhisheadwiththebass—viol,andHEhadtriedtocramtheguitardownherthroat,andhadinjuredherforlife。
Myfriendsaidheusedtoluremuffin—menintothepassageandthenstuffthemwiththeirownwarestilltheyburstanddied。Hesaidhehadquietedeighteenthatway。
Youngmenandwomenwhorecitedlonganddrearypoemsateveningparties,andcallowyouthswhowalkedaboutthestreetslateatnight,playingconcertinas,heusedtogettogetherandpoisoninbatchesoften,soastosaveexpense;andparkoratorsandtemperancelecturersheusedtoshutupsixinasmallroomwithaglassofwaterandacollection—boxapiece,andletthemtalkeachothertodeath。
Itdidonegoodtolistentohim。
Iaskedhimwhenheexpectedtheotherghosts——theghostsofthewaitandthecornet—player,andtheGermanbandthatUncleJohnhadmentioned。Hesmiled,andsaidtheywouldnevercomeagain,anyofthem。
Isaid,"Why;isn’tittrue,then,thattheymeetyouhereeveryChristmasEveforarow?"
HerepliedthatitWAStrue。EveryChristmasEve,fortwenty—fiveyears,hadheandtheyfoughtinthatroom;buttheywouldnevertroublehimnoranybodyelseagain。Onebyone,hadhelaidthemout,spoilt,andutterlyuselessforallhauntingpurposes。HehadfinishedoffthelastGerman—bandghostthatveryevening,justbeforeIcameupstairs,andhadthrownwhatwasleftofitoutthroughtheslitbetweenthewindow—sashes。Hesaiditwouldneverbeworthcallingaghostagain。
"Isupposeyouwillstillcomeyourself,asusual?"Isaid。"Theywouldbesorrytomissyou,Iknow。"
"Oh,Idon’tknow,"hereplied;"there’snothingmuchtocomefornow。Unless,"headdedkindly,"YOUaregoingtobehere。I’llcomeifyouwillsleepherenextChristmasEve。"
"Ihavetakenalikingtoyou,"hecontinued;"youdon’tflyoff,screeching,whenyouseeaparty,andyourhairdoesn’tstandonend。You’venoidea,"hesaid,"howsickIamofseeingpeople’shairstandingonend。"
Hesaiditirritatedhim。
Justthenaslightnoisereachedusfromtheyardbelow,andhestartedandturneddeathlyblack。
"Youareill,"Icried,springingtowardshim;"tellmethebestthingtodoforyou。ShallIdrinksomebrandy,andgiveyoutheghostofit?"
Heremainedsilent,listeningintentlyforamoment,andthenhegaveasighofrelief,andtheshadecamebacktohischeek。
"It’sallright,"hemurmured;"Iwasafraiditwasthecock。"
"Oh,it’stooearlyforthat,"Isaid。"Why,it’sonlythemiddleofthenight。"
"Oh,thatdoesn’tmakeanydifferencetothosecursedchickens,"herepliedbitterly。"Theywouldjustassooncrowinthemiddleofthenightasatanyothertime——sooner,iftheythoughtitwouldspoilachap’seveningout。Ibelievetheydoitonpurpose。"
Hesaidafriendofhis,theghostofamanwhohadkilledawater—
ratecollector,usedtohauntahouseinLongAcre,wheretheykeptfowlsinthecellar,andeverytimeapolicemanwentbyandflashedhisbull’s—eyedownthegrating,theoldcocktherewouldfancyitwasthesun,andstartcrowinglikemad;when,ofcourse,thepoorghosthadtodissolve,anditwould,inconsequence,getbackhomesometimesasearlyasoneo’clockinthemorning,swearingfearfullybecauseithadonlybeenoutforanhour。
Iagreedthatitseemedveryunfair。
"Oh,it’sanabsurdarrangementaltogether,"hecontinued,quiteangrily。"Ican’timaginewhatouroldmancouldhavebeenthinkingofwhenhemadeit。AsIhavesaidtohim,overandoveragain,’Haveafixedtime,andleteverybodysticktoit——sayfouro’clockinsummer,andsixinwinter。Thenonewouldknowwhatonewasabout。’"
"Howdoyoumanagewhenthereisn’tanycockhandy?"Iinquired。
Hewasonthepointofreplying,whenagainhestartedandlistened。ThistimeIdistinctlyheardMr。Bowles’scock,nextdoor,crowtwice。
"Thereyouare,"hesaid,risingandreachingforhishat;"that’sthesortofthingwehavetoputupwith。WhatISthetime?"
Ilookedatmywatch,andfounditwashalf—pastthree。
"Ithoughtasmuch,"hemuttered。"I’llwringthatblessedbird’sneckifIgetholdofit。"Andhepreparedtogo。
"Ifyoucanwaithalfaminute,"Isaid,gettingoutofbed,"I’llgoabitofthewaywithyou。"
"It’sverygoodofyou,"herejoined,pausing,"butitseemsunkindtodragyouout。"
"Notatall,"Ireplied;"Ishalllikeawalk。"AndIpartiallydressedmyself,andtookmyumbrella;andheputhisarmthroughmine,andwewentouttogether。
JustbythegatewemetJones,oneofthelocalconstables。
"Good—night,Jones,"Isaid(IalwaysfeelaffableatChristmas—
time)。
"Good—night,sir,"answeredthemanalittlegruffly,Ithought。
"MayIaskwhatyou’rea—doingof?"
"Oh,it’sallright,"Iresponded,withawaveofmyumbrella;"I’mjustseeingmyfriendpartofthewayhome。"
Hesaid,"Whatfriend?"
"Oh,ah,ofcourse,"Ilaughed;"Iforgot。He’sinvisibletoyou。
Heistheghostofthegentlemanthatkilledthewait。I’mjustgoingtothecornerwithhim。"
"Ah,Idon’tthinkIwould,ifIwasyou,sir,"saidJonesseverely。"Ifyoutakemyadvice,you’llsaygood—byetoyourfriendhere,andgobackindoors。Perhapsyouarenotawarethatyouarewalkingaboutwithnothingonbutanight—shirtandapairofbootsandanopera—hat。Where’syourtrousers?"
Ididnotliketheman’smanneratall。Isaid,"Jones!Idon’twishtohavetoreportyou,butitseemstomeyou’vebeendrinking。Mytrousersarewhereaman’strousersoughttobe——onhislegs。Idistinctlyrememberputtingthemon。"
"Well,youhaven’tgotthemonnow,"heretorted。
"Ibegyourpardon,"Ireplied。"ItellyouIhave;IthinkI
oughttoknow。"
"Ithinkso,too,"heanswered,"butyouevidentlydon’t。Nowyoucomealongindoorswithme,anddon’tlet’shaveanymoreofit。"
UncleJohncametothedooratthispoint,havingbeenawaked,I
suppose,bythealtercation;and,atthesamemoment,AuntMariaappearedatthewindowinhernightcap。
Iexplainedtheconstable’smistaketothem,treatingthematteraslightlyasIcould,soasnottogetthemanintotrouble,andI
turnedforconfirmationtotheghost。
Hewasgone!Hehadleftmewithoutaword——withoutevensayinggood—bye!
Itstruckmeassounkind,hishavinggoneoffinthatway,thatI
burstintotears;andUncleJohncameout,andledmebackintothehouse。
Onreachingmyroom,IdiscoveredthatJoneswasright。Ihadnotputonmytrousers,afterall。Theywerestillhangingoverthebed—rail。Isuppose,inmyanxietynottokeeptheghostwaiting,Imusthaveforgottenthem。
Sucharetheplainfactsofthecase,outofwhichitmust,doubtless,tothehealthy,charitablemindappearimpossiblethatcalumnycouldspring。
Butithas。
Persons——Isay’persons’——haveprofessedthemselvesunabletounderstandthesimplecircumstanceshereinnarrated,exceptinthelightofexplanationsatoncemisleadingandinsulting。Slurshavebeencastandaspersionsmadeonmebythoseofmyownfleshandblood。
ButIbearnoill—feeling。Imerely,asIhavesaid,setforththisstatementforthepurposeofclearingmycharacterfrominjurioussuspicion。