CHAPTERI。
"Iwonderedwhetheryouwouldn’treadittome,"saidMrs。Alsager,astheylingeredalittlenearthefirebeforehetookleave。Shelookeddownatthefiresideways,drawingherdressawayfromitandmakingherproposalwithashysinceritythataddedtohercharm。
HercharmwasalwaysgreatforAllanWayworth,andthewholeairofherhouse,whichwassimplyasortofdistillationofherself,sosoothing,sobeguilingthathealwaysmadeseveralfalsestartsbeforedeparture。Hehadspentsomesuchgoodhoursthere,hadforgotten,inherwarm,goldendrawing—room,somuchofthelonelinessandsomanyoftheworriesofhislife,thatithadcometobetheimmediateanswertohislongings,thecureforhisaches,theharbourofrefugefromhisstorms。Histribulationswerenotunprecedented,andsomeofhisadvantages,ifofausualkind,weremarkedindegree,inasmuchashewasverycleverforonesoyoung,andveryindependentforonesopoor。Hewaseight—and—twenty,buthehadlivedagooddealandwasfullofambitionsandcuriositiesanddisappointments。TheopportunitytotalkofsomeoftheseinGrosvenorPlacecorrectedperceptiblytheimmenseinconvenienceofLondon。ThisinconveniencetookforhimprincipallythelineofinsensibilitytoAllanWayworth’sliteraryform。Hehadaliteraryform,orhethoughthehad,andherintelligentrecognitionofthecircumstancewasthesweetestconsolationMrs。Alsagercouldhaveadministered。Shewasevenmoreliteraryandmoreartisticthanhe,inasmuchashecouldoftenworkoffhisoverflow(thiswashisoccupation,hisprofession),whilethegenerouswoman,aboundinginhappythoughts,butuneditedandunpublished,stoodthereintherisingtidelikethenymphofafountainintheplashofthemarblebasin。
Theyearbefore,inabignewspaperyhouse,hehadfoundhimselfnextheratdinner,andtheyhadconvertedtheintenselymaterialhourintoafeastofreason。Therewasnomotiveforheraskinghimtocometoseeherbutthatshelikedhim,whichitwasthemoreagreeabletohimtoperceiveasheperceivedatthesametimethatshewasexquisite。Shewasenviablyfreetoactuponherlikings,anditmadeWayworthfeellessunsuccessfultoinferthatforthemomenthehappenedtobeoneofthem。Hekepttherevelationtohimself,andindeedtherewasnothingtoturnhisheadinthekindnessofakindwoman。Mrs。Alsageroccupiedsocompletelythegroundofpossessionthatshewouldhavebeencondemnedtoinactionhaditnotbeenfortheprincipleofgiving。Herhusband,whowastwentyyearshersenior,amassivepersonalityintheCityandaheavyoneathome(whereverhestood,orevensat,hewasmonumental),ownedhalfabignewspaperandthewholeofagreatmanyotherthings。Headmiredhiswife,thoughsheborenochildren,andlikedhertohaveothertastesthanhis,asthatseemedtogiveagreateracreagetotheirlife。Hisownappetiteswentsofarhecouldscarcelyseetheboundary,andhistheorywastotrusthertopushthelimitsofhers,sothatbetweenthemthepairshouldastoundbytheirconsumption。Hisideaswereprodigiouslyvulgar,butsomeofthemhadthegoodfortunetobecarriedoutbyapersonofperfectdelicacy。Herdelicacymadeherplaystrangetrickswiththem,butheneverfoundthisout。Sheattenuatedhimwithouthisknowingit,forwhathemainlythoughtwasthathehadaggrandisedHER。Withoutherhereallywouldhavebeenbiggerstill,andsociety,breathingmorefreely,waspracticallyunderanobligationtoherwhich,todoitjustice,itacknowledgedbyanattitudeofmystifiedrespect。Shefeltatremulousneedtothrowherlibertyandherleisureintothethingsofthesoul——themostbeautifulthingssheknew。Shefoundthem,whenshegavetimetoseeking,inahundredplaces,andparticularlyinadimandsacredregion——theregionofactivepity——
overherentranceintowhichshedroppedcurtainssothickthatitwouldhavebeenanimpertinencetoliftthem。Butshecultivatedotherbeneficentpassions,andifshecherishedthedreamofsomethingfinethemomentsatwhichitmostseemedtohertocometruewerewhenshesawbeautypluckedflower—likeinthegardenofart。Shelovedtheperfectwork——shehadtheartisticchord。Thischordcouldvibrateonlytothetouchofanother,sothatappreciation,inherspirit,hadtheaddedintensityofregret。Shecouldunderstandthejoyofcreation,andshethoughtitscarcelyenoughtobetoldthatsheherselfcreatedhappiness。Shewouldhaveliked,atanyrate,tochooseherway;butitwasjustherethatherlibertyfailedher。Shehadnotthevoice——shehadonlythevision。
Theonlyenvyshewascapableofwasdirectedtothosewho,asshesaid,coulddosomething。
Aseverythinginher,however,turnedtogentleness,shewasadmirablyhospitabletosuchpeopleasaclass。ShebelievedAllanWayworthcoulddosomething,andshelikedtohearhimtalkofthewaysinwhichhemeanttoshowit。Hetalkedofthemalmosttonooneelse——shespoiledhimforotherlisteners。Withherfairbloomandherquietgraceshewasindeedanidealpublic,andifshehadeverconfidedtohimthatshewouldhavelikedtoscribble(shehadinfactnotmentionedittoacreature),hewouldhavebeeninaperfectpositionforaskingherwhyawomanwhosefacehadsomuchexpressionshouldnothavefeltthatsheachieved。Howintheworldcouldsheexpressbetter?TherewaslessthanthatinShakespeareandBeethoven。Shehadneverbeenmoregenerousthanwhen,incompliancewithherinvitation,whichIhaverecorded,hebroughthisplaytoreadtoher。Hehadspokenofittoherbefore,andonedarkNovemberafternoon,whenherredfiresidewasmorethaneveranescapefromtheplaceandtheseason,hehadbrokenoutashecamein——"I’vedoneit,I’vedoneit!"Shemadehimtellherallaboutit——shetookaninterestreallyminuteandaskedquestionsdelightfullyapt。Shehadspokenfromthefirstasifhewereonthepointofbeingacted,makinghimjump,withherparticipation,allsortsofdrearyintervals。Shelikedthetheatreasshelikedalltheartsofexpression,andhehadknownhertogoallthewaytoParisforaparticularperformance。Oncehehadgonewithher——thetimeshetookthatstupidMrs。Mostyn。Shehadbeenstruck,whenhesketchedit,withthesubjectofhisdrama,andhadspokenwordsthathelpedhimtobelieveinit。Assoonashehadrungdownhiscurtainonthelastactherushedofftoseeher,butafterthathekeptthethingforrepeatedlasttouches。Finally,onChristmasday,byarrangement,shesatthereandlistenedtoit。Itwasinthreeactsandinprose,butratheroftheromanticorder,thoughdealingwithcontemporaryEnglishlife,andhefondlybelievedthatitshowedthehandifnotofthemaster,atleastoftheprizepupil。
AllanWayworthhadreturnedtoEngland,attwo—and—twenty,afteramiscellaneouscontinentaleducation;hisfather,thecorrespondent,foryears,inseveralforeigncountriessuccessively,ofaconspicuousLondonjournal,haddiedjustafterthis,leavinghismotherandhertwootherchildren,portionlessgirls,tosubsistonaverysmallincomeinaverydullGermantown。Theyoungman’sbeginningsinLondonweredifficult,andhehadaggravatedthembyhisdislikeofjournalism。Hisfather’sconnectionwithitwouldhavehelpedhim,buthewas(insanely,mostofhisfriendsjudged——
thegreatexceptionwasalwaysMrs。Alsager)INTRAITABLEonthequestionofform。Form——inhissense——wasnotdemandedbyEnglishnewspapers,andhecouldn’tgiveittotheminTHEIRsense。Thedemandforitwasnotgreatanywhere,andWayworthspentcostlyweeksinpolishinglittlecompositionsformagazinesthatdidn’tpayforstyle。TheonlypersonwhopaidforitwasreallyMrs。Alsager:shehadaninfallibleinstinctfortheperfect。Shepaidinherownway,andifAllanWayworthhadbeenawage—earningpersonitwouldhavemadehimfeelthatifhedidn’treceivehislegaldueshispalmwasatleastoccasionallyconsciousofagratuity。Hehadhislimitations,hisperversities,butthefinestpartsofhimwerethemostalive,andhewasrestlessandsincere。ItishowevertheimpressionheproducedonMrs。Alsagerthatmostconcernsus:shethoughthimnotonlyremarkablygood—lookingbutaltogetheroriginal。
Thereweresomeusualbadthingshewouldneverdo——toomanyprohibitivepuddlesforhimintheshortcuttosuccess。
Forhimself,hehadneverbeensohappyassincehehadseenhisway,ashefondlybelieved,tosomesortofmasteryofthescenicidea,whichstruckhimasaverydifferentmatternowthathelookedatitfromwithin。Hehadhadhisearlydaysofcontemptforit,whenitseemedtohimajewel,dimatthebest,hiddeninadunghill,ataperburninglowinanairthickwithvulgarity。Itwashedgedaboutwithsordidapproaches,itwasnotworthsacrificeandsuffering。Themanofletters,indealingwithit,wouldhavetoputoffallliterature,whichwaslikeaskingthebearerofanoblenametoforegohisimmemorialheritage。Aspectschange,however,withthepointofview:Wayworthhadwakeduponemorninginadifferentbedaltogether。Itisneedlessheretotracethisaccidenttoitssource;itwouldhavebeenmuchmoreinterestingtoaspectatoroftheyoungman’slifetofollowsomeoftheconsequences。Hehadbeenmade(ashefelt)thesubjectofaspecialrevelation,andheworehishatlikeamaninlove。Anangelhadtakenhimbythehandandguidedhimtotheshabbydoorwhichopens,itappeared,intoaninteriorbothsplendidandaustere。Thescenicideawasmagnificentwhenonceyouhadembracedit——thedramaticformhadapuritywhichmadesomeotherslookingloriouslyrough。Ithadthehighdignityoftheexactsciences,itwasmathematicalandarchitectural。Itwasfulloftherefreshmentofcalculationandconstruction,theincorruptibilityoflineandlaw。Itwasbare,butitwaserect,itwaspoor,butitwasnoble;itremindedhimofsomesovereignfamedforjusticewhoshouldhavelivedinapalacedespoiled。Therewasafearfulamountofconcessioninit,butwhatyoukepthadarareintensity。Youwereperpetuallythrowingoverthecargotosavetheship,butwhatamotionyougaveherwhenyoumadeherridethewaves——amotionasrhythmicasthedanceofagoddess!WayworthtooklongLondonwalksandthoughtofthesethings——Londonpouredintohisearsthemightyhumofitssuggestion。Hisimaginationglowedandmelteddownmaterial,hisintentionsmultipliedandmadetheairagoldenhaze。Hesawnotonlythethingheshoulddo,butthenextandthenextandthenext;thefutureopenedbeforehimandheseemedtowalkonmarbleslabs。Themorehetriedthedramaticformthemorehelovedit,themorehelookedatitthemoreheperceivedinit。Whatheperceivedinitindeedhenowperceivedeverywhere;ifhestopped,intheLondondusk,beforesomeflaringshop—window,theplaceimmediatelyconstituteditselfbehindfootlights,becameaframedstageforhisfigures。Hehammeredatthesefiguresinhislonelylodging,heshapedthemandheshapedtheirtabernacle;hewaslikeagoldsmithchisellingacasket,bentoverwiththepassionforperfection。Whenhewasneitherroamingthestreetswithhisvisionnorworryinghisproblemathistable,hewasexchangingideasonthegeneralquestionwithMrs。Alsager,towhomhepromiseddetailsthatwouldamuseherinlaterandstillhappierhours。Hereyeswerefulloftearswhenhereadherthelastwordsofthefinishedwork,andshemurmured,divinely—
"Andnow——togetitdone,togetitdone!"
"Yes,indeed——togetitdone!"Wayworthstaredatthefire,slowlyrollinguphistype—copy。"Butthat’satotallydifferentpartofthebusiness,andaltogethersecondary。"
"Butofcourseyouwanttobeacted?"
"OfcourseIdo——butit’sasuddendescent。Iwanttointensely,butI’msorryIwantto。"
"It’sthereindeedthatthedifficultiesbegin,"saidMrs。Alsager,alittleoffherguard。
"Howcanyousaythat?It’stherethattheyend!"
"Ah,waittoseewheretheyend!"
"Imeanthey’llnowbeofatotallydifferentorder,"Wayworthexplained。"Itseemstometherecanbenothingintheworldmoredifficultthantowriteaplaythatwillstandanall—roundtest,andthatincomparisonwiththemthecomplicationsthatspringupatthispointareofanaltogethersmallerkind。"
"Yes,they’renotinspiring,"saidMrs。Alsager;"they’rediscouraging,becausethey’revulgar。Theotherproblem,theworkingoutofthethingitself,ispureart。"
"Howwellyouunderstandeverything!"Theyoungmanhadgotup,nervously,andwasleaningagainstthechimney—piecewithhisbacktothefireandhisarmsfolded。Therollofhiscopy,inhisfist,wassqueezedintothehollowofoneofthem。HelookeddownatMrs。
Alsager,smilinggratefully,andsheansweredhimwithasmilefromeyesstillcharmedandsuffused。"Yes,thevulgaritywillbeginnow,"hepresentlyadded。
"You’llsufferdreadfully。"
"Ishallsufferinagoodcause。"
"Yes,givingTHATtotheworld!Youmustleaveitwithme,Imustreaditoverandover,"Mrs。Alsagerpleaded,risingtocomeneareranddrawthecopy,initscoverofgreenish—greypaper,whichhadagenericidentitynowtohim,outofhisgrasp。"Whointheworldwilldoit?——whointheworldCAN?"shewenton,closetohim,turningovertheleaves。Beforehecouldanswershehadstoppedatoneofthepages;sheturnedthebookroundtohim,pointingoutaspeech。"That’sthemostbeautifulplace——thoselinesareaperfection。"Heglancedatthespotsheindicated,andshebeggedhimtoreadthemagain——hehadreadthemadmirablybefore。Heknewthembyheart,and,closingthebookwhilesheheldtheotherendofit,hemurmuredthemovertoher——theyhadindeedacadencethatpleasedhim——watching,withafacetiouscomplacencywhichhehopedwaspardonable,theapplauseinherface。"Ah,whocanuttersuchlinesasTHAT?"Mrs。Alsagerbrokeout;"whomcanyoufindtodoHER?"
"We’llfindpeopletodothemall!"
"Butnotpeoplewhoareworthy。"
"They’llbeworthyenoughifthey’rewillingenough。I’llworkwiththem——I’llgrinditintothem。"Hespokeasifhehadproducedtwentyplays。
"Oh,itwillbeinteresting!"sheechoed。
"ButIshallhavetofindmytheatrefirst。Ishallhavetogetamanagertobelieveinme。"
"Yes——they’resostupid!"
"ButfancythepatienceIshallwant,andhowIshallhavetowatchandwait,"saidAllanWayworth。"DoyouseemehawkingitaboutLondon?"
"IndeedIdon’t——itwouldbesickening。"
"It’swhatIshallhavetodo。Ishallbeoldbeforeit’sproduced。"
"Ishallbeoldverysoonifitisn’t!"Mrs。Alsagercried。"Iknowoneortwoofthem,"shemused。
"Doyoumeanyouwouldspeaktothem?"
"Thethingistogetthemtoreadit。Icoulddothat。"
"That’stheutmostIask。Butit’sevenforthatIshallhavetowait。"
Shelookedathimwithkindsisterlyeyes。"Yousha’n’twait。"
"Ah,youdearlady!"Wayworthmurmured。
"ThatisYOUmay,but_I_won’t!Willyouleavemeyourcopy?"shewenton,turningthepagesagain。
"Certainly;Ihaveanother。"Standingnearhimshereadtoherselfapassagehereandthere;then,inhersweetvoice,shereadsomeofthemout。"Oh,ifYOUwereonlyanactress!"theyoungmanexclaimed。
"That’sthelastthingIam。There’snocomedyinME!"
ShehadneverappearedtoWayworthsomuchhisgoodgenius。"Isthereanytragedy?"heasked,withthelevityofcompleteconfidence。
Sheturnedawayfromhim,atthis,withastrangeandcharminglaughanda"Perhapsthatwillbeforyoutodetermine!"ButbeforehecoulddisclaimsucharesponsibilityshehadfacedhimagainandwastalkingaboutNonaVincentasifshehadbeenthemostinterestingoftheirfriendsandhersituationatthatmomentanirresistibleappealtotheirsympathy。NonaVincentwastheheroineoftheplay,andMrs。Alsagerhadtakenatremendousfancytoher。"Ican’tTELLyouhowIlikethatwoman!"sheexclaimedinapensiveraptureofcredulitywhichcouldonlybebalmtotheartisticspirit。
"I’mawfullygladshelivesabit。WhatIfeelaboutheristhatshe’sagooddeallikeYOU,"Wayworthobserved。
Mrs。Alsagerstaredaninstantandturnedfaintlyred。Thiswasevidentlyaviewthatfailedtostrikeher;shedidn’t,however,treatitasajoke。"I’mnotimpressedwiththeresemblance。I
don’tseemyselfdoingwhatshedoes。"
"Itisn’tsomuchwhatsheDOES,"theyoungmanargued,drawingouthismoustache。
"Butwhatshedoesisthewholepoint。Shesimplytellsherlove——I
shouldneverdothat。"
"Ifyourepudiatesuchaproceedingwithsuchenergy,whydoyoulikeherforit?"
"Itisn’twhatIlikeherfor。"
"Whatelse,then?That’sintenselycharacteristic。"
Mrs。Alsagerreflected,lookingdownatthefire;shehadtheairofhavinghalf—a—dozenreasonstochoosefrom。Buttheonesheproducedwasunexpectedlysimple;itmightevenhavebeenpromptedbydespairatnotfindingothers。"IlikeherbecauseYOUmadeher!"sheexclaimedwithalaugh,movingagainawayfromhercompanion。
Wayworthlaughedstilllouder。"Youmadeheralittleyourself。
I’vethoughtofheraslookinglikeyou。"
"Sheoughttolookmuchbetter,"saidMrs。Alsager。"No,certainly,Ishouldn’tdowhatSHEdoes。"
"Noteveninthesamecircumstances?"
"Ishouldneverfindmyselfinsuchcircumstances。They’reexactlyyourplay,andhavenothingincommonwithsuchalifeasmine。
However,"Mrs。Alsagerwenton,"herbehaviourwasnaturalforHER,andnotonlynatural,but,itseemstome,thoroughlybeautifulandnoble。Ican’tsufficientlyadmirethetalentandtactwithwhichyoumakeoneacceptit,andItellyoufranklythatit’sevidenttometheremustbeabrilliantfuturebeforeayoungmanwho,atthestart,hasbeencapableofsuchastrokeasthat。ThankheavenIcanadmireNonaVincentasintenselyasIfeelthatIdon’tresembleher!"
"Don’texaggeratethat,"saidAllanWayworth。
"Myadmiration?"
"Yourdissimilarity。Shehasyourface,yourair,yourvoice,yourmotion;shehasmanyelementsofyourbeing。"
"Thenshe’lldamnyourplay!"Mrs。Alsagerreplied。Theyjokedalittleoverthis,thoughitwasnotinthetoneofpleasantrythatWayworth’shostesssoonremarked:"You’vegotyourremedy,however:
haveherdonebytherightwoman。"
"Oh,haveher’done’——haveher’done’!"theyoungmangentlywailed。
"Iseewhatyoumean,mypoorfriend。Whatapity,whenit’ssuchamagnificentpart——suchachanceforacleverseriousgirl!NonaVincentispracticallyyourplay——itwillbeopentohertocarryitfarortodropitatthefirstcorner。"
"It’sacharmingprospect,"saidAllanWayworth,withsuddenscepticism。Theylookedateachotherwitheyesthat,foraluridmoment,sawtheworstoftheworst;butbeforetheypartedtheyhadexchangedvowsandconfidencesthatwerededicatedwhollytotheideal。Itisnottobesupposed,however,thattheknowledgethatMrs。AlsagerwouldhelphimmadeWayworthlesseagertohelphimself。
Hedidwhathecouldandfeltthatshe,onherside,wasdoingnoless;butattheendofayearhewasobligedtorecognisethattheirunitedefforthadmainlyproducedthefineflowerofdiscouragement。
Attheendofayearthelustrehad,tohisowneyes,quitefadedfromhisunappreciatedmasterpiece,andhefoundhimselfwritingforabiographicaldictionarylittlelivesofcelebritieshehadneverheardof。Tobeprinted,anywhereandanyhow,wasaformofgloryforamansounabletobeacted,andtobepaid,evenatencyclopaedicrates,hadtheconsequenceofmakingoneresignedandverbose。Hecouldn’tsmugglestyleintoadictionary,buthecouldatleastreflectthathehaddonehisbesttolearnfromthedramathatitisagrossimpertinencealmostanywhere。HehadknockedatthedoorofeverytheatreinLondon,and,ataruinousexpense,hadmultipliedtype—copiesofNonaVincenttoreplacetheneattranscriptsthathaddescendedintothemanagerialabyss。Hisplaywasnotevendeclined——nosuchflatteringintimationwasgivenhimthatithadbeenread。WhatthemanagerswoulddoforMrs。Alsagerconcernedhimlittletoday;thethingthatwasrelevantwasthattheywoulddonothingforHIM。Thatcharmingwomanfelthumbledtotheearth,solittleresponsehadshehadfromthepowersonwhichshecounted。Thetwonevertalkedabouttheplaynow,buthetriedtoshowherastillfinerfriendship,thatshemightnotthinkhefeltshehadfailedhim。HestillwalkedaboutLondonwithhisdreams,butasmonthssucceededmonthsandhelefttheyearbehindhimtheyweredreamsnotsomuchofsuccessasofrevenge。Successseemedacolourlessnamefortherewardofhispatience;somethingfiercelyflorid,somethingsanguinolentwasmoretothepoint。Hisbestconsolationhoweverwasstillinthescenicidea;itwasnottillnowthathediscoveredhowincurablyhewasinlovewithit。Bythetimeavainsecondyearhadchafeditselfawayhecherishedhisfruitlessfacultythemorefortheobloquyitseemedtosuffer。Helived,inhisbesthours,inaworldofsubjectsandsituations;hewroteanotherplayandmadeitasdifferentfromitspredecessorassuchaverygoodthingcouldbe。Itmightbeaverygoodthing,butwhenhehadcommittedittothetheatricallimboindiscriminatingfatetooknoaccountofthedifference。HewasatlastabletoleaveEnglandforthreeorfourmonths;hewenttoGermanytopayavisitlongdeferredtohismotherandsisters。
ShortlybeforethetimehehadfixedforhisreturnhereceivedfromMrs。Alsageratelegramconsistingofthewords:"Loderwishesseeyou——puttingNonainstantrehearsal。"Hespentthefewhoursbeforehisdepartureinkissinghismotherandsisters,whoknewenoughaboutMrs。Alsagertojudgeitluckythisrespectablemarriedladywasnotthere——arelief,however,accompaniedwithspeculativeglancesatLondonandthemorrow。Loder,asouryoungmanwasaware,meantthenew"Renaissance,"butthoughhereachedhomeintheeveningitwasnottothisconvenientmoderntheatrethatWayworthfirstproceeded。HespentalatehourwithMrs。Alsager,anhourthatthrobbedwithcalculation。ShetoldhimthatMr。Loderwascharming,hehadsimplytakenuptheplayinitsturn;hehadhopesofit,moreover,thatonthepartofaprofessionalpessimistmightalmostbequalifiedasecstatic。Ithadbeencast,withamarginforobjections,andVioletGreywastodotheheroine。Shehadbeencapable,whilehewasaway,ofagoodpieceofworkatthatfoggyoldplayhousethe"Legitimate;"thepiecewasaclumsyrechauffe,butsheatleasthadbeenfresh。WayworthrememberedVioletGrey——hadn’the,fortwoyears,onafondpolicyof"lookingout,"keptdippingintotheLondontheatrestopickupprospectiveinterpreters?Hehadnotpickedupmanyasyet,andthisyoungladyatalleventshadneverwriggledinhisnet。Shewasprettyandshewasodd,buthehadneverprefiguredherasNonaVincent,norindeedfoundhimselfattractedbywhathealreadyfeltsufficientlylaunchedintheprofessiontospeakofasherartisticpersonality。Mrs。Alsagerwasdifferent——shedeclaredthatshehadbeenstrucknotalittlebysomeofhertones。Thegirlwasinterestinginthethingatthe"Legitimate,"andMr。Loder,whohadhiseyeonher,describedherasambitiousandintelligent。Shewantedawfullytogeton——andsomeofthoseladiesweresolazy!Wayworthwassceptical——hehadseenMissVioletGrey,whowasterriblyitinerant,inadozentheatresbutonlyinoneaspect。NonaVincenthadadozenaspects,butonlyonetheatre;yetwithwhatafeverishcuriositytheyoungmanpromisedhimselftowatchtheactressonthemorrow!TalkingthematteroverwithMrs。Alsagernowseemedtheverystuffthatrehearsalwasmadeof。Thenearprospectofbeingactedlaidafingerevenonthelipofinquiry;hewantedtogoontiptoetillthefirstnight,tomakenoconditionbutthattheyshouldspeakhislines,andhefeltthathewouldn’tsomuchasraiseaneyebrowatthescene—painterifheshouldgivehimanoldoakchamber。
Hebecameconscious,thenextday,thathisdangerwouldbeotherthanthis,andyethecouldn’thaveexpressedtohimselfwhatitwouldbe。Dangerwasthere,doubtless——dangerwaseverywhere,intheworldofart,andstillmoreintheworldofcommerce;butwhathereallyseemedtocatch,forthehour,wasthebeatingofthewingsofvictory。Nothingcouldunderminethat,sinceitwasvictorysimplytobeacted。Itwouldbevictoryeventobeactedbadly;areflectionthatdidn’tpreventhim,however,frombanishing,inhispoliticoptimism,theword"bad"fromhisvocabulary。Ithadnoapplication,inthecompromiseofpractice;itdidn’tapplyeventohisplay,whichhewasconscioushehadalreadyoutlivedandastowhichheforesawthat,inthecomingweeks,frequentalarmwouldalternate,inhisspirit,withfrequentesteem。Whenhewentdowntotheduskydaylittheatre(itarchedoverhimlikethetempleoffame)
Mr。Loder,whowasascharmingasMrs。Alsagerhadannounced,struckhimasthegeniusofhospitality。Themanagerbegantoexplainwhy,forsolong,hehadgivennosign;butthatwasthelastthingthatinterestedWayworthnow,andhecouldneverrememberafterwardswhatreasonsMr。Loderhadenumerated。Heliked,inthewholebusinessofdiscussionandpreparation,eventhethingshehadthoughtheshouldprobablydislike,andherevelledinthosehehadthoughtheshouldlike。HewatchedMissVioletGreythateveningwitheyesthatsoughttopenetrateherpossibilities。Shecertainlyhadafew;theywerequalitiesofvoiceandface,qualitiesperhapsevenofintelligence;
hesatthereatanyratewithafostering,coaxingattention,repeatingovertohimselfasconvincinglyashecouldthatshewasnotcommon——acircumstanceallthemorecreditableasthepartshewasplayingseemedtohimdesperatelyso。Heperceivedthatthiswaswhyitpleasedtheaudience;hedivinedthatitwastheparttheyenjoyedratherthantheactress。Hehadaprivatepanic,wonderinghow,iftheylikedTHATform,theycouldpossiblylikehis。Hisformhadnowbecomequiteanultimateideatohim。BythetimetheeveningwasoversomeofMissVioletGrey’sfeatures,severaloftheturnsofherhead,acertainvibrationofhervoice,hadtakentheirplaceinthesamecategory。SheWASinteresting,shewasdistinguished;atanyratehehadacceptedher:itcametothesamething。Butheleftthetheatrethatnightwithoutspeakingtoher——
moved(alittleeventohisownmystification)byanoddprocrastinatingimpulse。Onthemorrowhewastoreadhisthreeactstothecompany,andthenheshouldhaveagooddealtosay;whathefeltforthemomentwasavagueindispositiontocommithimself。
MoreoverhefoundaslightconfusionofannoyanceinthefactthatthoughhehadbeentryingalltheeveningtolookatNonaVincentinVioletGrey’sperson,whatsubsistedinhisvisionwassimplyVioletGreyinNona’s。Hedidn’twishtoseetheactresssodirectly,orevensosimplyasthat;andithadbeenveryfatiguing,theefforttofocusNonaboththroughtheperformerandthroughthe"Legitimate。"
BeforehewenttobedthatnighthepostedthreewordstoMrs。
Alsager——"She’snotabitlikeit,butIdaresayIcanmakeherdo。"
Hewaspleasedwiththewaytheactresslistened,thenextday,atthereading;hewaspleasedindeedwithmanythings,atthereading,andmostofallwiththereadingitself。Thewholeaffairloomedlargetohimandhemagnifieditandmappeditout。Heenjoyedhisoccupationofthebig,dim,hollowtheatre,fulloftheechoesof"effect"andofaqueersmellofgasandsuccess——itallseemedsuchapassivecanvasforhispicture。Forthefirsttimeinhislifehewasincommandofresources;hewasacquaintedwiththephrase,buthadneverthoughtheshouldknowthefeeling。HewassurprisedatwhatLoderappearedreadytodo,thoughheremindedhimselfthathemustnevershowit。Heforesawthattherewouldbetwodistinctconcomitantstotheartisticeffortofproducingaplay,oneconsistingofagreatdealofanguishandtheotherofagreatdealofamusement。Helookedbackuponthereading,afterwards,asthebesthourinthebusiness,becauseitwasthenthatthepiecehadmoststruckhimasrepresented。Whatcamelaterwasthedoingofothers;butthis,withitsimperfectionsandfailures,wasallhisown。Thedramalived,atanyrate,forthathour,withanintensitythatitwaspromptlytoloseinthepovertyandpatchinessofrehearsal;hecouldseeitslifereflected,inawaythatwassweettohim,inthestillnessofthelittlesemi—circleofattentiveandinscrutable,ofwater—proofedandmuddy—booted,actors。MissVioletGreywastheauditorhehadmosttosayto,andhetriedonthespot,acrosstheshabbystage,toletherhavethesoulofherpart。Herattitudewasgraceful,butthoughsheappearedtolistenwithallherfacultiesherfaceremainedperfectlyblank;afact,however,notdiscouragingtoWayworth,wholikedherbetterfornotbeingpremature。Hercompanionsgavediscerniblesignsofrecognisingthepassagesofcomedy;yetWayworthforgavehereventhenforbeinginexpressive。Sheevidentlywishedbeforeeverythingelsetobesimplysureofwhatitwasallabout。
HewasmoresurprisedeventhanattherevelationofthescaleonwhichMr。Loderwasreadytoproceedbythediscoverythatsomeoftheactorsdidn’tliketheirparts,andhisheartsankasheaskedhimselfwhathecouldpossiblydowiththemiftheyweregoingtobesostupid。Thiswasthefirstofhisdisappointments;somehowhehadexpectedeveryindividualtobecomeinstantlyandgratefullyconsciousofarareopportunity,andfromthemomentsuchacalculationfailedhewasatsea,ormindfulatanyratethatmoredisappointmentswouldcome。Itwasimpossibletomakeoutwhatthemanagerlikedordisliked;nojudgment,nocommentescapedhim;hisacceptanceoftheplayandhisviewsaboutthewayitshouldbemountedhadapparentlyconvertedhimintoaveiledandshroudedfigure。Wayworthwasabletograsptheideathattheywouldallmovenowinahigherandsharperairthanthatofcomplimentandconfidence。WhenhetalkedwithVioletGreyafterthereadinghegatheredthatshewasreallyrathercrude:whatbetterproofofitcouldtherebethanherfailuretobreakoutinstantlywithanexpressionofdelightabouthergreatchance?Thisreserve,however,hadevidentlynothingtodowithhighpretensions;shehadnowishtomakehimfeelthatapersonofhereminencewassuperiortoeasyraptures。Heguessed,afteralittle,thatshewaspuzzledandevensomewhatfrightened——toacertainextentshehadnotunderstood。
Nothingcouldappealtohimmorethantheopportunitytoclearupherdifficulties,inthecourseoftheexaminationofwhichhequicklydiscoveredthat,sofarassheHADunderstood,shehadunderstoodwrong。Ifshewascrudeitwasonlyareasonthemorefortalkingtoher;hekeptsayingtoher"Askme——askme:askmeeverythingyoucanthinkof。"
Sheaskedhim,shewasperpetuallyaskinghim,andatthefirstrehearsals,whichwerewithoutformandvoidtoadegreethatmadethemstrikehimmuchmoreasthedeathofanexperimentthanasthedawnofasuccess,theythreshedthingsoutimmenselyinacornerofthestage,withtheeffectofhiscomingtofeelthatatanyrateshewasinearnest。Hefeltmoreandmorethathisheroinewasthekeystoneofhisarch,forwhichindeedtheactresswasveryreadytotakeher。Butwhenheremindedthisyoungladyofthewaythewholethingpracticallydependedonhershewasalarmedandevenslightlyscandalised:shespokemorethanonceasifthatcouldscarcelybetherightwaytoconstructaplay——makeitstandorfallbyonepoornervousgirl。Shewasalmostmorbidlyconscientious,andintheoryhelikedherforthis,thoughhelostpatiencethreeorfourtimeswiththethingsshecouldn’tdoandthethingsshecould。Atsuchtimesthetearscametohereyes;buttheywereproducedbyherownstupidity,shehastenedtoassurehim,notbythewayhespoke,whichwasawfullykindunderthecircumstances。Hersinceritymadeherbeautiful,andhewishedtoheaven(andmadeapointoftellingherso)thatshecouldsprinklealittleofitoverNona。Once,however,shewassotouchedandtroubledthatthesightofitbroughtthetearsforaninstanttohisowneyes;anditsohappenedthat,turningatthismoment,hefoundhimselffacetofacewithMr。Loder。
Themanagerstared,glancedattheactress,whoturnedintheotherdirection,andthensmilingatWayworth,exclaimed,withthehumourofamanwhoheardthegallerylaugheverynight:
"Isay——Isay!"
"What’sthematter?"Wayworthasked。
"I’mgladtoseeMissGreyistakingsuchpainswithyou。"
"Oh,yes——she’llturnmeout!"saidtheyoungman,gaily。HewasquiteawarethatitwasapparenthewasnotsuperficialaboutNona,andabundantlydetermined,intothebargain,thattherehearsalofthepieceshouldnotsacrificeashadeofthoroughnesstoanyextrinsicconsideration。
Mrs。Alsager,whom,lateintheafternoon,heusedoftentogoandaskforacupoftea,thankingherinadvancefortherestshegavehimandtellingherhowhefoundthatrehearsal(asTHEYweredoingit——itwasacaution!)tookitoutofone——Mrs。Alsager,moreandmorehisgoodgeniusand,asherepeatedlyassuredher,hisministeringangel,confirmedhiminthissuperiorpolicyandurgedhimontoeveryformofartisticdevotion。Shehad,naturally,neverbeenmoreinterestedthannowinhiswork;shewantedtoheareverythingabouteverything。Shetreatedhimasheroicallyfatigued,pliedhimwithluxuriousrestoratives,madehimstretchhimselfoncushionsandrose—leaves。Theygossippedmorethanever,byherfire,abouttheartisticlife;heconfidedtoher,forinstance,allhishopesandfears,allhisexperimentsandanxieties,onthesubjectoftherepresentativeofNona。Shewasimmenselyinterestedinthisyoungladyandshoweditbytakingaboxagainandagain(shehadseenherhalf—a—dozentimesalready),tostudyhercapacitythroughtheveilofherpresentpart。LikeAllanWayworthshefoundherencouragingonlybyfits,forshehadfineflashesofbadness。
Shewasintelligent,butshecriedaloudfortraining,andthetrainingwassoabsentthattheintelligencehadonlyafractionofitseffect。Shewaslikeaknifewithoutanedge——goodsteelthathadneverbeensharpened;shehackedawayatherharddramaticloaf,shecouldn’tcutitsmooth。
CHAPTERII。
"Certainlymyleadingladywon’tmakeNonamuchlikeYOU!"WayworthonedaygloomilyremarkedtoMrs。Alsager。Thereweredayswhentheprospectseemedtohimawful。
"Somuchthebetter。There’snonecessityforthat。"
"Iwishyou’dtrainheralittle——youcouldsoeasily,"theyoungmanwenton;inresponsetowhichMrs。Alsagerrequestedhimnottomakesuchcruelfunofher。Butshewascuriousaboutthegirl,wantedtohearofhercharacter,herprivatesituation,howshelivedandwhere,seemedindeeddesiroustobefriendher。WayworthmightnothaveknownmuchabouttheprivatesituationofMissVioletGrey,but,asithappened,hewasable,bythetimehisplayhadbeenthreeweeksinrehearsal,tosupplyinformationonsuchpoints。Shewasacharming,exemplaryperson,educated,cultivated,withhighlymoderntastes,anexcellentmusician。Shehadlostherparentsandwasverymuchaloneintheworld,heronlytworelationsbeingasister,whowasmarriedtoacivilservant(inahighlyresponsiblepost)inIndia,andadearlittleold—fashionedaunt(reallyagreat—aunt)
第1章