Whateverelsemaybesaidofthiskindofdoctrine，itisatleastoriginalandhasaconclusivesound。MarkTwainhadverylittleusefororthodoxyandconservatism。WhenitwasannouncedthatDr。JacquesLoeb，oftheUniversityofCalifornia，haddemonstratedthecreationoflifebychemicalagencieshewasdeeplyinterested。Whenanewspaperwritercommentedthata"consensusofopinionamongbiologists"wouldprobablyrateDr。Loebasamanoflivelyimaginationratherthananinerrantinvestigatorofnaturalphenomena，hefeltcalledtochafftheconsensusidea。
IwishIcouldbeasyoungasthatagain。AlthoughIseemsooldnowIwasonceasyoungasthat。Iremember，asifitwerebutthirtyorfortyyearsago，howaparalyzingconsensusofopinionaccumulatedfromexpertsa—settingaroundaboutbrotherexpertswhohadpatientlyandlaboriouslycold—chiseledtheirwayintooneoranotherofnature’ssafe—depositvaultsandwerereportingthattheyhadfoundsomethingvaluablewasplentyforme。Itsettledit。
Butitisn’tsonow—no。BecauseinthedriftoftheyearsIbyandbyfoundoutthataConsensusexaminesanewthingwithitsfeelingsratheroftenerthanwithitsmind。
Therewasthatprimitivesteam—engine—agesback，inGreektimes：aConsensusmadefunofit。TherewastheMarquisofWorcester’ssteam—engine250yearsago：aConsensusmadefunofit。TherewasFulton’ssteamboatofacenturyago：aFrenchConsensus，includingthegreatNapoleon，madefunofit。TherewasPriestley，withhisoxygen：aConsensusscoffedathim，mobbedhim，burnedhimout，banishedhim。WhileaConsensuswasproving，bystatisticsandthings，thatasteamshipcouldnotcrosstheAtlantic，asteamshipdidit。
Andsoonthroughadozenpagesormoreoflivelysatire，endingwithanextractfromAdam’sDiary。
ThentherewasaConsensusaboutit。Itwastheveryfirstone。Itsatsixdaysandnights。Itwasthendeliveredoftheverdictthataworldcouldnotbemadeoutofnothing；thatsuchsmallthingsassunandmoonandstarsmight，maybe，butitwouldtakeyearsandyearsiftherewasconsiderablemanyofthem。ThentheConsensusgotupandlookedoutofthewindow，andtherewasthewholeoutfit，spinningandsparklinginspace！Youneversawsuchadisappointedlot。
ADAM。
Hewaswritingmuchatthistime，mainlyforhisownamusement，thoughnowandthenheofferedoneofhisreflectionsforprint。Thatbeautifulfairytale，"TheFiveBoonsofLife，"ofwhichthemostpreciousis"Death，"waswrittenatthisperiod。Maeterlinck’slovelystoryofthebeeinterestedhim；hewroteaboutthat。SomebodyproposedaMartyrs’
Day；hewroteapaperridiculingthesuggestion。Inhisnote—book，too，thereisamemorandumforalove—storyoftheQuarternaryEpochwhichwouldbegin，"OnasoftOctoberafternoon2，000，000yearsago。"JohnFiske’sDiscoveryofAmerica，VolumeI，hesaid，wastofurnishtheanimalsandscenery，civilizationandconversationtobethesameasto—
day；butapparentlythisideawascarriednofurther。Herangedthrougheverysubjectfromprotoplasmtoinfinity，exalting，condemning，ridiculing，explaining；hisbrainwasalwaysbusy——adynamothatrestedneithernightnorday。
InAprilClemensreceivednoticeofanotheryachtingtripontheKanawha，whichthistimewouldsailfortheBahamaandWestIndiaislands。Theguestsweretobeaboutthesame。——[TheinvitedonesofthepartywereHon。T。B。Reed，A。G。Paine，LaurenceHutton，Dr。C。C。Rice，W。T。
Foote，andS。L。Clemens。"Ownersoftheyacht，"Mr。Rogerscalledthem，signinghimselfas"TheirGuest。"]
Hesentthistelegram：
H。H。ROGERS，Fairhaven，Mass。
Can’tgetawaythisweek。Ihavecompanyherefromtonighttillmiddleofnextweek。WillKanawhabesailingafterthat&canIgoasSunday—
schoolsuperintendentathalfrate？Answerandprepay。
DR。CLEMENS。
Thesailingdatewasconvenientlyarrangedandtherefollowedahappycruiseamongthosebalmyislands。MarkTwainwasparticularlyfondof"Tom"Reed，whohadbeenknownas"Czar"ReedinCongress，butwasdelightfullyhumaninhispersonallife。Theyarguedpoliticsagooddeal，andReed，withallhistrainingandintimatepracticalknowledgeofthesubject，confessedthathe"couldn’targuewithamanlikethat。"
"Doyoubelievethethingsyousay？"heaskedonce，inhisthin，falsettovoice。
"Yes，"saidClemens。"Someofthem。"
"Well，youwanttolookout。Ifyougoonthisway，byandbyyou’llgettobelievingnearlyeverythingyousay。"
Drawpokerappearstohavebeentheirfavoritediversion。ClemensinhisnotesreportsthatoffthecoastofFloridaReedwontwenty—threepotsinsuccession。Itwassaidafterwardthattheymadenostopsatanyharbor；
thatwhenthechiefofficerapproachedthepoker—tableandtoldthemtheywereabouttoentersomeimportantporthereceivedperemptoryordersto"sailonandnotinterruptthegame。"This，however，mayberegardedasmoreorlessfoundedonfiction。
CCXX
MARKTWAINANDTHEPHILIPPINES
Amongthecompletedmanuscriptsoftheearlypartof1902wasaNorthAmericanReviewarticlepublishedinApril——"DoestheRaceofManLoveaLord？"——amostinterestingtreatiseonsnobberyasauniversalweakness。TherewerealsosomepapersonthePhilippinesituation。InoneoftheseClemenswrote：
Wehaveboughtsomeislandsfromapartywhodidnotownthem；withrealsmartnessandagoodcounterfeitofdisinterestedfriendlinesswecoaxedaconfidingweaknationintoatrapandclosedituponthem；wewentbackonanhonoredguestoftheStarsandStripeswhenwehadnofurtheruseforhimandchasedhimtothemountains；weareasindisputablyinpossessionofawide—spreadingarchipelagoasifitwereourproperty；wehavepacifiedsomethousandsoftheislandersandburiedthem；destroyedtheirfields；burnedtheirvillages，andturnedtheirwidowsandorphansout—of—doors；
furnishedheartbreakbyexiletosomedozensofdisagreeablepatriots；subjugatedtheremainingtenmillionsbyBenevolentAssimilation，whichisthepiousnewnameofthemusket；wehaveacquiredpropertyinthethreehundredconcubinesandotherslavesofourbusinesspartner，theSultanofSulu，andhoistedourprotectingflagoverthatswag。
Andso，bytheseProvidencesofGod——thephraseisthegovernment’s，notmine——weareaWorldPower；andaregladandproud，andhaveabackseatinthefamily。Withtacksinit。Atleastwearelettingontobegladandproud；itisthebestway。Indeed，itistheonlyway。Wemustmaintainourdignity，forpeoplearelooking。WeareaWorldPower；wecannotgetoutofitnow，andwemustmakethebestofit。
Andagainhewrote：
Iamnotfindingfaultwiththisuseofourflag，forinordernottoseemeccentricIhaveswungaroundnowandjoinedthenationintheconvictionthatnothingcansullyaflag。Iwasnotproperlyreared，andhadtheillusionthataflagwasathingwhichmustbesacredlyguardedagainstshamefulusesanduncleancontactslestitsufferpollution；andsowhenitwassentouttothePhilippinestofloatoverawantonwarandarobbingexpeditionIsupposeditwaspolluted，andinanignorantmomentIsaidso。ButIstandcorrected。Iconcedeandacknowledgethatitwasonlythegovernmentthatsentitonsuchanerrandthatwaspolluted。Letuscompromiseonthat。Iamgladtohaveitthatway。Forourflagcouldnotwellstandpollution，neverhavingbeenusedtoit，butitisdifferentwiththeadministration。
ButamuchmoreconspicuouscommentonthePhilippinepolicywastheso—
called"DefenseofGeneralFunston"forwhatFunstonhimselfreferredtoasa"dirtyIrishtrick"；thatistosay，deceptioninthecaptureofAguinaldo。Clemens，whofoundithardenoughtoreconcilehimselfto—
anyformofwarfare，wasespeciallybitterconcerningthisparticularcampaign。ThearticleappearedintheNorthAmericanReviewforMay，1902，andstirredupagooddealofastorm。Hewrotemuchmoreonthesubject——verymuchmore——butitisstillunpublished。
CCXXI
THERETURNOFTHENATIVE
OnedayinApril，1902，SamuelClemensreceivedthefollowingletterfromthepresidentoftheUniversityofMissouri：
MYDEARMR。CLEMENS，AlthoughyoureceivedthedegreeofdoctorofliteraturelastfallfromYale，andhavehadotherhonorsconferreduponyoubyothergreatuniversities，wewanttoadoptyouhereasasonoftheUniversityofMissouri。InaskingyourpermissiontoconferuponyouthedegreeofLL。D。theUniversityofMissouridoesnotaimtoconferanhonoruponyousomuchastoshowherappreciationofyou。TherulesoftheUniversityforbidustoconferthedegreeuponanyoneinabsentia。
IhopeverymuchthatyoucansoarrangeyourplansastobewithusonthefourthdayofnextJune，whenweshallholdourAnnualCommencement。
Verytrulyyours，R。H。JESSE。
ClemenshadnotexpectedtomakeanothertriptotheWest，butaprofferedhonorsuchasthisfromone’snativeStatewasnotathingtobedeclined。
ItwasattheendofMaywhenhearrivedinSt。Louis，andhewasmetatthetraintherebyhisoldriverinstructorandfriend，HoraceBixby——asfresh，wiry，andcapableashehadbeenforty—fiveyearsbefore。
"Ihavebecomeanoldman。Youarestillthirty—five，"Clemenssaid。
TheywenttothePlantersHotel，andthenewspresentlygotaroundthatMarkTwainwasthere。Therefollowedasortofreceptioninthehotellobby，afterwhichBixbytookhimacrosstotheroomsofthePilotsAssociation，wheretherivermengatheredinforcetocelebratehisreturn。Afewofhisoldcomradeswerestillalive，amongthemBeckJolly。ThesameafternoonhetookthetrainforHannibal。
ItwasabusyfivedaysthathehadinHannibal。High—schoolcommencementdaycamefirst。Heattended，andwillingly，oratleastpatiently，satthroughthevariousrecitalsandorationsandorchestrations，dreamingandremembering，nodoubt，otherhigh—schoolcommencementsofmorethanhalfacenturybefore，seeinginsomeofthoseyoungpeopletheboysandgirlshehadknowninthatvanishedtime。A
fewfriendsofhisyouthwerestillthere，buttheywereamongtheaudiencenow，andnolongerfreshandlookingintothefuture。Theirheadswerewhite，and，likehim，theywerelookingdowntherecordedyears。LauraHawkinswasthereandHelenKerchevalMrs。FrazerandMrs。
Garthnow，andtherewereothers，buttheywerefewandscattering。
Hewasaddedtotheprogram，andhemadehimselfasoneofthegraduates，andtoldthemsomethingsoftheyoungpeopleofthatearliertimethatbroughttheirlaughterandtheirtears。
Hewasaskedtodistributethediplomas，andheundertooktheworkinhisownway。Hetookanarmfulofthemandsaidtothegraduates：
"Takeone。Pickoutagoodone。Don’ttaketwo，butbesureyougetagoodone。"
Soeachtookone"unsightandunseen"aidmadethemoreexactdistributionsamongthemselveslater。
NextmorningitwasSaturday——hevisitedtheoldhomeonHillStreet，andstoodinthedoorwayalldressedinwhitewhileabattalionofphotographersmadepicturesof"thisreturnofthenative"tothethresholdofhisyouth。
"Itallseemssosmalltome，"hesaid，ashelookedthroughthehouse；
"aboy’shomeisabigplacetohim。IsupposeifIshouldcomebackagaintenyearsfromnowitwouldbethesizeofabirdhouse。"
Hewentthroughtheroomsandup—stairswherehehadsleptandlookedoutthewindowdowninthebackyardwhere，nearlysixtyyearsbefore，TomSawyer，HuckFinn，JoeHarper，andtherest——thatistosay，TomBlankenship，JohnBriggs，WillPitts，andtheBowenboys——setoutontheirnightlyescapades。OfthatlightsomebandWillPittsandJohnBriggsstillremained，withhalfadozenothers——schoolmatesofthelessadventuroussort。BuckBrown，whohadbeenhisrivalinthespellingcontests，wasstillthere，andJohnRobards，whohadworngoldencurlsandthemedalforgoodconduct，andEdPierce。Andwhilethesewereassembledinalittlegrouponthepavementoutsidethehomeasmalloldmancameupandputouthishand，anditwasJimmyMacDaniel，towhomsolongbefore，sittingontheriver—bankandeatinggingerbread，hehadfirsttoldthestoryofJimWolfeandthecats。
Theyputhimintoacarriage，drovehimfarandwide，andshowedthehillsandresortsandrendezvousofTomSawyerandhismaraudingband。
HewasentertainedthateveningbytheLabinnahClubwhosenamewasachievedbyabackwardspellingofHannibal，wherehefoundmostofthesurvivorsofhisyouth。ThenewsreportofthatoccasionstatesthathewasintroducedbyFatherMcLoughlin，andthathe"respondedinaveryhumorousandtouchinglypatheticway，breakingdownintearsattheconclusion。Commentingonhisboyhooddaysandreferringtohismotherwastoomuchforthegreathumorist。Beforehimashespokeweresittingsevenofhisboyhoodfriends。"
OnSundaymorningCol。JohnRobardsescortedhimtothevariouschurchesandSunday—schools。TheywereallnewchurchestoSamuelClemens，buthepretendednottorecognizethisfact。Ineachonehewasaskedtospeakafewwords，andhebeganbysayinghowgooditwastobebackintheoldhomeSunday—schoolagain，whichasaboyhehadalwayssoloved，andhewouldgoonandpointouttheveryplacehehadsat，andhisescorthardlyknewwhetherornottoenjoytheproceedings。Atoneplacehetoldamoralstory。Hesaid：
Littleboysandgirls，Iwanttotellyouastorywhichillustratesthevalueofperseverance——ofstickingtoyourwork，asitwere。ItisastoryveryproperforaSunday—school。WhenIwasalittleboyinHannibalIusedtoplayagooddealuphereonHolliday’sHill，whichofcourseyouallknow。JohnBriggsandIplayedupthere。Idon’tsupposethereareanylittleboysasgoodaswewerethen，butofcoursethatisnottobeexpected。Littleboysinthosedayswere’mostalwaysgoodlittleboys，becausethosewerethegoodoldtimeswheneverythingwasbetterthanitisnow，butnevermindthat。Well，onceuponatime，onHolliday’sHill，theywereblastingoutrock，andamanwasdrillingforablast。Hesatthereanddrilledanddrilledanddrilledperseveringlyuntilhehadaholedowndeepenoughfortheblast。Thenheputinthepowderandtampedandtampeditdown，butmaybehetampeditalittletoohard，fortheblastwentoffandhewentupintotheair，andwewatchedhim。Hewentuphigherandhigherandgotsmallerandsmaller。Firsthelookedasbigasachild，thenasbigasadog，thenasbigasakitten，thenasbigasabird，andfinallyhewentoutofsight。JohnBriggswaswithme，andwewatchedtheplacewherehewentoutofsight，andbyandbywesawhimcomingdownfirstasbigasabird，thenasbigasakitten，thenasbigasadog，thenasbigasachild，andthenhewasamanagain，andlandedrightinhisseatandwenttodrillingjustpersevering，yousee，andstickingtohiswork。Littleboysandgirls，that’sthesecretofsuccess，justlikethatpoorbuthonestworkmanonHolliday’sHill。Ofcourseyouwon’talwaysbeappreciated。Hewasn’t。
Hisemployerwasahardman，andonSaturdaynightwhenhepaidhimhedockedhimfifteenminutesforthetimehewasupintheair——butnevermind，hehadhisreward。
Hetoldallthisinhissolemn，graveway，thoughtheSunday—schoolwasinastormofenjoymentwhenhefinished。TherestillremainsadoubtinHannibalastoitsperfectsuitability，butthereisnodoubtastoitsacceptability。
ThatSundayafternoon，withJohnBriggs，hewalkedoverHolliday’sHill——
theCardiffHillofTomSawyer。ItwasjestsuchaSundayasthatonewhentheyhadsonearlydemolishedthenegrodriverandhaddamagedacooper—shop。TheycalculatedthatnearlythreethousandSundayshadpassedsincethen，andnowheretheywereoncemore，twooldmenwiththehillsstillfreshandgreen，theriverstillsweepingbyandripplinginthesun。Standingtheretogetherandlookingacrosstothelow—lyingIllinoisshore，andtothegreenislandswheretheyhadplayed，andtoLover’sLeaponthesouth，themanwhohadbeenSamClemenssaid：
"John，thatisoneoftheloveliestsightsIeversaw。Downtherebytheislandistheplaceweusedtoswim，andyonderiswhereamanwasdrowned，andthere’swherethesteamboatsank。DownthereonLover’sLeapiswheretheMilleritesputontheirrobesonenighttogotoheaven。Noneofthemwentthatnight，butIsupposemostofthemhavegonenow。"
JohnBriggssaid：
"Sam，doyourememberthedaywestolethepeachesfromoldmanPriceandoneofhisbow—leggedniggerscameafteruswiththedogs，andhowwemadeupourmindsthatwe’dcatchthatniggeranddrownhim？"
Theycametotheplacewheretheyhadpriedoutthegreatrockthathadsonearlybroughtthemtogrief。SamClemenssaid：
"John，ifwehadkilledthatmanwe’dhavehadadeadniggeronourhandswithoutacenttopayforhim。"
Andsotheytalkedonofthisthingandthat，andbyandbytheydrovealongtheriver，andSamClemenspointedouttheplacewhereheswamitandwastakenwithacramponthereturnswim，andbelievedforawhilethathiscareerwasabouttoclose。
"Once，neartheshore，IthoughtIwouldletdown，"hesaid，"butwasafraidto，knowingthatifthewaterwasdeepIwasagoner，butfinallymykneesstruckthesandandIcrawledout。ThatwastheclosestcallI
everhad。"
Theydrovebytheplacewherethehauntedhousehadstood。Theydrankfromawelltheyhadalwaysknown，andfromthebucketastheyhadalwaysdrunk，talkingandalwaystalking，fondlinglovinglyandlingeringlythatmostbeautifulofallourpossessions，thepast。
"Sam，"saidJohn，whentheyparted，"thisisprobablythelasttimeweshallmeetonthisearth。Godblessyou。Perhapssomewhereweshallrenewourfriendship。"
"John，"wastheanswer，"thisdayhasbeenworththousandsofdollarstome。Wewerelikebrothersonce，andIfeelthatwearethesamenow。
Good—by，John。I’lltrytomeetyou——somewhere。"
CCXXII
APROPHETHONOREDINHISCOUNTRY
ClemensleftnextdayforColumbia。CommitteesmethimatRensselaer，MonroeCity，Clapper，Stoutsville，Paris，Madison，Moberly——ateverystationalongthelineofhistravel。Ateachplacecrowdsweregatheredwhenthetrainpulledin，tocheerandwaveandtopresenthimwithflowers。Sometimeshespokeafewwords；butoftenerhiseyeswerefulloftears——hisvoicewouldnotcome。
Thereissomethingessentiallydramaticinofficialrecognitionbyone’snativeState——thereturnoftheladwhohassetoutunknowntobattlewithlife，andwho，havingconquered，isinvitedbacktobecrowned。Nootherhonor，howevergreatandspectacular，isquitelikethat，forthereisinitapathosandacompletenessthatareelementalandstiremotionsasoldaslifeitself。
Itwasonthe4thofJune，1902，thatMarkTwainreceivedhisdoctoroflawsdegreefromtheStateUniversityatColumbia，Missouri。JamesWilson，SecretaryofAgriculture，andEthanAllenHitchcock，SecretaryoftheInterior，wereamongthosesimilarlyhonored。MarkTwainwasnaturallythechiefattraction。DressedinhisYalescholasticgownheledtheprocessionofgraduatingstudents，and，asinHannibal，awardedthemtheirdiplomas。Theregularexercisesweremadepurposelybriefinorderthatsometimemightbeallowedfortheconferringofthedegrees。
Thisceremonywasapeculiarlyimpressiveone。GardnerLathropreadabriefstatementintroducing"America’sforemostauthorandbest—lovedcitizen，SamuelLanghorneClemens——MarkTwain。"
Clemensrose，steppedouttothecenterofthestage，andpaused。Heseemedtobeindoubtastowhetherheshouldmakeaspeechorsimplyexpresshisthanksandretire。Suddenly，andwithoutasignal，thegreataudienceroseasonemanandstoodinsilenceathisfeet。Hebowed，buthecouldnotspeak。Thenthatvastassemblybeganapeculiarchant，spellingoutslowlythewordMissouri，withapausebetweeneachletter。
Itwasdramatic；itwastremendousinitsimpressiveness。Hehadrecoveredhimselfwhentheyfinished。Hesaidhedidn’tknowwhetherhewasexpectedtomakeaspeechornot。Theydidnotleave’himindoubt。
Theycheeredanddemandedaspeech，aspeech，andhemadethemone——oneofthespeecheshecouldmakebest，fullofquaintphrasing，happyhumor，gentleanddramaticpathos。Heclosedbytellingthewatermelonstoryforits"moraleffect。"
HewastheguestofE。W。StevensinColumbia，andadinnerwasgiveninhishonor。Theywouldhavelikedtokeephimlonger，buthewasdueinSt。Louisagaintojoininthededicationofthegrounds，wherewastobeheldaWorld’sFair，tocelebratetheLouisianaPurchase。AnotherceremonyheattendedwasthechristeningoftheSt。Louisharbor—boat，orrathertherechristening，forithadbeendecidedtochangeitsnamefromtheSt。Louis——[OriginallytheElonG。Smith，builtin1873。]——totheMarkTwain。Ashorttripwasmadeonitfortheceremony。GovernorFrancisandMayorWellswereoftheparty，andCountandCountessRochambeauandMarquisdeLafayette，withtherestoftheFrenchgroupthathadcomeoverforthededicationoftheWorld’sFairgrounds。
MarkTwainhimselfwasinvitedtopilottheharborboat，andsoreturnedforthelasttimetohisoldplaceatthewheel。Theyallcollectedinthepilot—housebehindhim，feelingthatitwasamemorableoccasion。
Theyweregoingalongwellenoughwhenhesawalittleripplerunningoutfromtheshoreacrossthebow。Intheolddayshecouldhavetoldwhetheritindicatedabarthereorwasonlycausedbythewind，buthecouldnotbesureanymore。Turningtothepilotlanguidly，hesaid：
"Ifeelalittletired。Iguessyouhadbettertakethewheel。"
Luncheonwasservedaboard，andMayorWellsmadethechristeningspeech；
thentheCountessRochambeautookabottleofchampagnefromthehandofGovernorFrancisandsmasheditonthedeck，saying，"Ichristenthee，goodboat，MarkTwain。"Soitwas，theMississippijoinedinaccordinghimhonors。InhisspeechofreplyhepaidtributetothoseillustriousvisitorsfromFranceandrecountedsomethingofthestoryofFrenchexplorationalongthatgreatriver。
"ThenameofLaSallewilllastaslongastheriveritself，"hesaid；
"willlastuntilcommerceisdead。Wehaveallowedthecommerceoftherivertodie，butitwastoaccommodatetherailroads，andwemustbegrateful。"
Carriageswerewaitingforthemwhentheboatlandedintheafternoon，andthepartygotinandweredriventoahousewhichhadbeenidentifiedasEugeneField’sbirthplace。Abronzetabletrecordingthisfacthadbeeninstalled，andthiswastobetheunveiling。Theplacewasnotinaninvitingquarterofthetown。ItstoodinwhatisknownasWalsh’sRow——wasfashionableenoughonce，perhaps，butlongsincefallenintodisrepute。Raggedchildrenplayedinthedoorways，andthirstylodgersweremakingtripswithtinpailstoconvenientbar—rooms。Acuriousnondescriptaudienceassembledaroundthelittlegroupofdedicators，wonderingwhatitwasallabout。ThetabletwasconcealedbytheAmericanflag，whichcouldbeeasilypulledawaybyanattachedcord。
GovernorFrancisspokeafewwords，totheeffectthattheyhadgatheredheretounveilatablettoanAmericanpoet，andthatitwasfittingthatMarkTwainshoulddothis。Theyremovedtheirhats，andClemens，hiswhitehairblowinginthewind，said：
"Myfriends；weareherewithreverenceandrespecttocommemorateandenshrineinmemorythehousewherewasbornamanwho，byhislife，madebrightthelivesofallwhoknewhim，andbyhisliteraryeffortscheeredthethoughtsofthousandswhoneverknewhim。ItakepleasureinunveilingthetabletofEugeneField。"
Theflagfellandthebronzeinscriptionwasrevealed。Bythistimethecrowd，generally，hadrecognizedwhoitwasthatwasspeaking。A
working—manproposedthreecheersforMarkTwain，andtheywereheartilygiven。Thenthelittlepartydroveaway，whiletheneighborhoodcollectedtoregardtheoldhousewithanewinterest。
ItwasreportedtoClemenslaterthattherewassomedisputeastotheidentityoftheFieldbirthplace。Hesaid：
"Nevermind。Itisofnorealconsequencewhetheritishisbirthplaceornot。Aroseinanyothergardenwillbloomassweet。"
CCXXIII
ATYORKHARBOR
TheydecidedtospendthesummeratYorkHarbor，Maine。Theyengagedacottage，there，andabouttheendofJuneMr。RogersbroughthisyachtKanawhatotheirwater—frontatRiverdale，andinperfectweathertookthemtoMainebysea。TheylandedatYorkHarborandtookpossessionoftheircottage，ThePines，oneoftheirmanyattractivesummerlodges。
Howells，atKitteryPoint，wasnotfaraway，andeverythingpromisedahappysummer。
Mrs。ClemenswrotetoMrs。Crane：
Weareinthemidstofpines。Theycomeuprightaboutus，andthehouseissohighandtherootsofthetreesaresofarbelowtheverandathatwearerightinthebranches。WedroveovertocallonMr。andMrs。Howells。Thedrivewasmostbeautiful，andneverinmylifehaveIseensuchavarietyofwildflowersinsoshortaspace。
Howellstellsusofthewide，lowcottageinapinegroveoverlookingYorkRiver，andhowheusedtositwithClemensthatsummeratacorneroftheverandafarthestawayfromMrs。Clemens’swindow，wheretheycouldreadtheirmanuscriptstoeachother，andtelltheirstoriesandlaughtheirheartsoutwithoutdisturbingher。
Clemens，aswashishabit，hadtakenawork—roominaseparatecottage"inthehouseofafriendandneighbor，afishermanandaboatman"：
Therewasatablewherehecouldwrite，andabedwherehecouldliedownandread；andthere，unlessmymemoryhasplayedmeoneofthoseconstructivetricksthatpeople’smemoriesindulgein，hereadmethefirstchaptersofanadmirablestory。ThescenewaslaidinaMissouritown，andthecharacterssuchashehadknowninboyhood；
butoftenasItriedtomakehimownit，hedeniedhavingwrittenanysuchstory；itispossiblethatIdreamedit，butIhopetheMS。
willyetbefound。
Howellsdidnotdreamit；butinonewayhismemorymisledhim。ThestorywasonewhichClemenshadheardinHannibal，andhedoubtlessrelateditinhisvividway。Howells，writingatalatertime，quitenaturallyincludeditamongtheseveralmanuscriptswhichClemensreadaloudtohim。Clemensmayhaveintendedtowritethetale，mayevenhavebegunit，thoughthisisunlikely。Theincidentsweretoowellknownandtoonotoriousinhisoldhomeforfiction。
AmongthestoriesthatClemensdidshow，orread，toHowellsthatsummerwas"TheBelatedPassport，"astrong，intenselyinterestingstorywithwhatHowellsinalettercallsa"goat’stailending，"perhapsmeaningthatitstoppedwithabriefandsuddenshake——withajoke，infact，altogetherunimportant，andonthewholedisappointingtothereader。A
farmorenotableliteraryworkofthatsummergrewoutofatrueincidentwhichHowellsrelatedtoClemensastheysatchattingtogetherontheverandaoverlookingtheriveronesummerafternoon。ItwasapatheticepisodeinthelifeofsomeformeroccupantsofThePines——thetaleofadoubleillnessinthehousehold，wherearighteousdeceptionwascarriedonduringseveralweeksforthebenefitofalifethatwasabouttoslipaway。Outofthisgrewthestory，"WasitHeaven？orHell？"aheartbreakinghistorywhichprobestheverydepthsofthehumansoul。
Nextto"Hadleyburg，"itisMarkTwain’sgreatestfictionalsermon。
Clemensthatsummerwrote，orratherfinished，hismostpretentiouspoem。
OnedayatRiverdale，whenMrs。Clemenshadbeenwithhimonthelawn，theyhadrememberedtogetherthetimewhentheirfamilyoflittlefolkshadfilledtheirlivessofull，conjuringupdream—likeglimpsesofthemintheyearsofplayandshortfrocksandhair—plaitsdowntheirbacks。
Itwaspathetic，heart—wringingfancying；andlaterinthedayClemensconceivedandbeganthepoemwhichnowhebroughttoconclusion。Itwasbuiltontheideaofamotherwhoimaginesherdeadchildstillliving，anddescribestoanylistenerthepicturesofherfancy。Itisanimpressivepieceofwork；buttheauthor，forsomereason，didnotofferitforpublication。——[ThispoemwascompletedontheanniversaryofSusy’sdeathandisofconsiderablelength。SomeselectionsfromitwillbefoundunderAppendixU，attheendofthiswork。]
Mrs。Clemens，whosehealthearlierintheyearhadbeendelicate，becameveryseriouslyillatYorkHarbor。Howellswrites：
Atfirstshehadbeenaboutthehouse，andtherewasonegentleafternoonwhenshemadeteaforusintheparlor，butthatwasthelasttimeI
spokewithher。AfterthatitwasreallyaquestionofhowsoonestandeasiestshecouldbegotbacktoRiverdale。
ShehadseemedtobeinfairlygoodhealthandspiritsforseveralweeksafterthearrivalatYork。Then，earlyinAugust，therecameagreatcelebrationofsomemunicipalanniversary，andfortwoorthreedaystherewereprocessions，mass—meetings，andsoonbyday，withfireworksatnight。Mrs。Clemens，alwaysyounginspirit，wasgreatlyinterested。
Shewentaboutmorethanherstrengthwarranted，seeingandhearingandenjoyingallthatwasgoingon。Shewasfinallypersuadedtoforegotheremainingceremoniesandrestquietlyonthepleasantverandaathome；
butshehadovertaxedherselfandacollapsewasinevitable。Howellsandtwofriendscalledoneafternoon，andafriendoftheQueenofRumania，aMadameHartwig，whohadbroughtfromthatgracioussovereignaletterwhichclosedinthissimpleandmodestfashion：
IbegyourpardonforbeingaboretooneIsodeeplyloveandadmire，towhomIowedaysanddaysofforgetfulnessofselfandtroubles，andtheintensestofalljoys—hero—worship！Peopledon’talwaysrealizewhatahappinessthatis！Godblessyouforeverybeautifulthoughtyoupouredintomytiredheart，andforeverysmileonawearyway。CARMENSYLVA。
ThiswastheoccasionmentionedbyHowellswhenMrs。Clemensmadeteaforthemintheparlorforthelasttime。Hersociallifemaybesaidtohaveendedthatafternoon。Nextmorningthebreakcame。Clemens，inhisnotebookforthatday，writes：
Tuesday，August12，1902。At7A。M。Livytakenviolentlyill。
TelephonedandDr。Lambertwasherein1/2hour。Shecouldnotbreathe—
waslikelytostifle。Alsoshehadseverepalpitation。Shebelievedshewasdying。Ialsobelievedit。
Nursesweresummoned，andMrs。CraneandotherscamefromElmira。ClaraClemenstookchargeofthehouseholdandmattersgenerally，andthepatientwassecludedandguardedfromeverydisturbinginfluence。
Clemensslippedaboutwithwarningsofsilence。AvisitorfoundnoticesinMarkTwain’swritingpinnedtothetreesnearMrs。Clemens’swindowwarningthebirdsnottosingtooloudly。
Thepatientrallied，butsheremainedverymuchdebilitated。OnSeptember3dthenote—booksays：
AlwaysMr。RogerskeepshisyachtKanawhaincommission&readytoflyhereandtakeustoRiverdaleontelegraphicnotice。
ButMrs。Clemenswasunabletoreturnbysea。Whenitwasdecidedatlast，inOctober，thatshecouldberemovedtoRiverdale，ClemensandHowellswenttoBostonandengagedaninvalidcartomakethejourneyfromYorkHarbortoRiverdalewithoutchange。HowellstellsusthatClemensgavehisstrictestpersonalattentiontothearrangementofthesedetails，andthattheyabsorbedhim。
Therewasnoparticularofthebusinesswhichhedidnotscrutinizeandmaster……Withtheinertnessthatgrowsuponanagingmanhehadbeenusedtodelegatemoreandmorethings，butofthatthingIperceivedthathewouldnotdelegatetheleastdetail。
Theymadethejourneyonthe16th，innineandahalfhours。Withtheexceptionofthenaturalwearinessduetosuchatrip，theinvalidwasapparentlynoworseontheirarrival。ThestoutEnglishbutlercarriedhertoherroom。Itwouldbemanymonthsbeforeshewouldleaveitagain。InoneofhismemorandaClemenswrote：
Ourdearprisoneriswheresheisthroughoverwork—day&nightdevotiontothechildren&me。Wedidnotknowhowtovalueit。Weknownow。
Andinanotation，onaletterpraisinghimforwhathehaddonefortheworld’senjoyment，andforhissplendidtriumphoverdebt，hesaid：
Livynevergetshershareoftheseapplauses，butitisbecausethepeopledonotknow。Yetsheisentitledtothelion’sshare。
HewroteTwichellattheendofOctober：
Livydragsalongdrearily。Itmustbehardtimesforthatturbulentspirit。Itwillbealongtimebeforesheisonherfeetagain。Itisamostpatheticcase。IwishIcouldtransferittomyself。
Betweenripping&raging&smoking&readingIcouldgetagooddealofholidayoutofit。Clararunsthehousesmoothly&capitally。
Heavyaswasthecloudofillness，hecouldnothelppesteringTwichellalittleaboutarecentmishap——asprainedshoulder：
Ishouldliketoknowhow&whereithappened。Inthepulpit，aslikeasnot，otherwiseyouwouldnotbetakingsomuchpainstoconcealit。Thisisnotamalicioussuggestion，¬apersonallyinventedone：youtoldmeyourselfoncethatyouthrewartificialpower&impressivenessinyoursermonswhereneededby"bangingtheBible"——yourownwords。Youhavereachedatimeoflifewhenitisnotwisetotaketheserisks。Youwouldbetterjumparound。Weallhavetochangeourmethodsastheinfirmitiesofagecreepuponus。Jumpingaroundwillbeimpressivenow，whereasbeforeyouweregrayitwouldhaveexcitedremark。
Mrs。Clemensseemedtoimproveastheweekspassed，andtheyhadgreathopesofhercompleterecovery。Clemenstookupsomework——anewHuckFinnstory，inspiredbyhistriptoHannibal。Itwastohavetwoparts——
HuckandTominyouth，andthentheirreturninoldage。Hedidsomechaptersquiteintheoldvein，andwrotetoHowellsofhisplan。
Howellsanswered：
Itisagreatlay—out：whatIshallenjoymostwillbethereturnoftheoldfellowstothesceneandtheirtalllying。Thereisamatchlesschancethere。Isupposeyouwillputinplentyofpegsinthisprefatorypart。
Butthenewstorydidnotreachcompletion。HuckandTomwouldnotcomeback，eventogoovertheoldscenes。
CCXXIV
THESIXTY—SEVENTHBIRTHDAYDINNER
Itwasontheeveningofthe27thofNovember，1902，IattheMetropolitanClub，NewYorkCity，thatCol。GeorgeHarvey，presidentoftheHarperCompany，gaveMarkTwainadinnerincelebrationofhissixty—
seventhbirthday。Theactualdatefellthreedayslater；butthatwouldbringitonSunday，andtogiveitonSaturdaynightwouldbemorethanlikelytocarryitintoSabbathmorning，andsothe27thwaschosen。
ColonelHarveyhimselfpresided，andHowellsledthespeakerswithapoem，"ADouble—BarreledSonnettoMarkTwain，"whichclosed：
Still，tohaveeverythingbeyondcavilright，WewilldinewithyouheretillSundaynight。
ThomasBrackettReedfollowedwithwhatprovedtobethelastspeechhewouldevermake，asitwasalsooneofhisbest。Allthespeakersdidwellthatnight，andtheyincludedsomeofthecountry’sforemostinoratory：ChaunceyDepew，St。ClairMcKelway，HamiltonMabie，andWayneMacVeagh。Dr。HenryvanDykeandJohnKendrickBangsreadpoems。Thechairmanconstantlykepttheoccasionfrombecomingtooseriousbymaintaininganattitudeof"thinkingambassador"fortheguestoftheevening，gentlypushingClemensbackinhisseatwhenheattemptedtoriseandexpressingforhimanopinionofeachofthevarioustributes。
"Thelimithasbeenreached，"heannouncedatthecloseofDr。vanDyke’spoem。"Morethatisbettercouldnotbesaid。Gentlemen，Mr。Clemens。"
ItisseldomthatMarkTwainhasmadeabetterafter—dinnerspeechthanhedeliveredthen。Hewassurroundedbysomeofthebestmindsofthenation，menassembledtodohimhonor。Theyexpectedmuchofhim——toMarkTwainalwaysaninspiringcircumstance。Hewasgreetedwithcheersandhand—clappingthatcamevolleyaftervolley，andseemedneverreadytoend。Whenithaddiedawayatlasthestoodwaitingalittleinthestillnessforhisvoice；thenhesaid，"IthinkIoughttobeallowedtotalkaslongasIwantto，"andagainthestormbroke。
Itisaspeechnoteasytoabridge——afinishedandperfectpieceofafter—dinnereloquence，——[The"Sixty—seventhBirthdaySpeech"entireisincludedinthevolumeMarkTwain’sSpeeches。]——fullofhumorousstoriesandmovingreferencestooldfriends——toHay；andReed，andTwichell，andHowells，andRogers，thefriendshehadknownsolongandlovedsowell。
Hetoldofhisrecenttriptohisboyhoodhome，andhowhehadstoodwithJohnBriggsonHolliday’sHillandtheyhadpointedoutthehauntsoftheiryouth。Thenattheendhepaidatributetothecompanionofhishome，whocouldnotbetheretosharehisevening’striumph。Thisperoration——abeautifulheart—offeringtoherandtothosethathadsharedinlongfriendship——demandsadmission：
Now，thereisoneinvisibleguesthere。Apartofmeisnotpresent；thelargerpart，thebetterpart，isyonderatherhome；
thatismywife，andshehasagoodmanypersonalfriendshere，andIthinkitwon’tdistressanyoneofthemtoknowthat，althoughsheisgoingtobeconfinedtoherbedformanymonthstocomefromthatnervousprostration，thereisnotanydangerandsheiscomingalongverywell——andIthinkitquiteappropriatethatIshouldspeakofher。IknewherforthefirsttimejustinthesameyearthatI
firstknewJohnHayandTomReedandMr。Twichell——thirty—sixyearsago——andshehasbeenthebestfriendIhaveeverhad，andthatissayingagooddeal——shehasrearedme——sheandTwichelltogether——
andwhatIamIowetothem。Twichell——why，itissuchapleasuretolookuponTwichell’sface！ForfiveandtwentyyearsIwasundertheRev。Mr。Twichell’stuition，Iwasinhispastorateoccupyingapewinhischurchandheldhiminduereverence。Thatmanisfullofallthegracesthatgotomakeapersoncompanionableandbeloved；andwhereverTwichellgoestostartachurchthepeopleflocktheretobuytheland；theyfindrealestategoesupallaroundthespot，andtheenviousandthethoughtfulalwaystrytogetTwichelltomovetotheirneighborhoodandstartachurch；andwhereveryouseehimgoyoucangoandbuylandtherewithconfidence，feelingsurethattherewillbeadoublepriceforyoubeforeverylong。
Ihavetriedtodogoodinthisworld，anditismarvelousinhowmanydifferentwaysIhavedonegood，anditiscomfortabletoreflect——now，there’sMr。Rogers——justoutoftheaffectionIbearthatmanmanyatimeIhavegivenhimpointsinfinancethathehadneverthoughtof——andifhecouldlayasideenvy，prejudice，andsuperstition，andutilizethoseideasinhisbusiness，itwouldmakeadifferenceinhisbank—account。
Well，Ilikedthepoetry。Ilikedallthespeechesandthepoetry，too。IlikedDr。vanDyke’spoem。IwishIcouldreturnthanksinpropermeasuretoyou，gentlemen，whohavespokenandviolatedyourfeelingstopaymecompliments；someweremeritedandsomeyouoverlooked，itistrue；andColonelHarveydidslandereveryoneofyou，andputthingsintomymouththatIneversaid，neverthoughtofatall。
AndnowmywifeandI，outofoursingleheart，returnyouourdeepestandmostgratefulthanks，and——yesterdaywasherbirthday。
Thesixty—seventhbirthdaydinnerwaswidelycelebratedbythepress，andnewspapermengenerallytookoccasiontopaybrilliantcomplimentstoMarkTwain。ArthurBrisbanewroteeditorially：
FormorethanagenerationhehasbeentheMessiahofagenuinegladnessandjoytothemillionsofthreecontinents。
Itwaslittlemorethanaweeklaterthatoneoftheoldfriendshehadmentioned，ThomasBrackettReed，apparentlywellandstrongthatbirthdayevening，passedfromthethingsofthisworld。Clemensfelthisdeathkeenly，andina"good—by"whichhewroteforHarper’sWeeklyhesaid：
Hiswasanaturewhichinvitedaffection——compelledit，infact——andmetithalf—way。Hence，hewas"Tom"tothemostofhisfriendsandtohalfofthenation……
Icannotrememberbacktoatimewhenhewasnot"Tom"Reedtome，nortoatimewhenhecouldhavebeenoffendedatbeingsoaddressedbyme。IcannotrememberbacktoatimewhenIcouldlethimaloneinanafter—dinnerspeechifhewaspresent，nortoatimewhenhedidnottakemyextravaganceconcerninghimandmisstatementsabouthimingoodpart，noryettoatimewhenhedidnotpaythembackwithusurywhenhisturncame。ThelastspeechhemadewasatmybirthdaydinnerattheendofNovember，whennaturallyIwashistext；mylastwordtohimwasinaletterthenextday；adaylaterIwasillustratingafantasticarticleonartwithhisportraitamongothers——aportraitnowtobelaidreverentlyawayamongthejeststhatbegininhumorandendinpathos。Thesethingshappenedonlyeightdaysago，andnowheisgonefromus，andthenationisspeakingofhimasonewhowas。Itseemsincredible，impossible。
Suchaman，suchafriend，seemstousapermanentpossession；hisvanishingfromourmidstisunthinkable，aswasthevanishingoftheCampanile，thathadstoodforathousandyearsandwasturnedtodustinamoment。
Theappreciationcloses：
Ihaveonlywishedtosayhowfineandbeautifulwashislifeandcharacter，andtotakehimbythehandandsaygood—by，astoafortunatefriendwhohasdonewellhisworkandgeesapleasantjourney。
CCXXV
CHRISTIANSCIENCECONTROVERSIES
TheNorthAmericanReviewforDecember1902containedaninstalmentoftheChristianScienceserieswhichMarkTwainhadwritteninViennaseveralyearsbefore。Hehadrenewedhisinterestinthedoctrine，andhisadmirationforMrs。Eddy’speculiarabilitiesandhisantagonismtowardherhadaugmentedinthemeantime。Howellsreferstothe"mightymomentwhenClemenswasbuildinghisenginesofwarforthedestructionofChristianScience，whichsuperstitionnobody，andheleastofall，expectedtodestroy"：
HebelievedthatasareligiousmachinetheChristianScienceChurchwasasperfectastheRomanChurch，anddestinedtobemoreformidableinitscontrolofthemindsofmen……
Aninterestingphaseofhispsychologyinthisbusinesswasnot。
onlyhisadmirationforthemasterlypolicyoftheChristianSciencehierarchy，buthiswillingnesstoallowthemiraclesofitshealerstobetriedonhisfriendsandfamilyiftheywishedit。Hehadatenderheartforthewholegenerationofempirics，aswellasthenewersortsofscienticians，butheseemedtobasehisfaithinthemlargelyuponthefailureoftheregulars，ratherthanupontheirownsuccesses，whichalsohebelievedin。Hewasrecurrently，butnotinsistently，desirousthatyoushouldtrytheirstrangemagicswhenyouweregoingtotrythefamiliarmedicines。
ClemensneverhadanyquarrelwiththetheoryofChristianScienceormentalhealing，orwithanyoftheempiricpractices。Heacknowledgedgoodinallofthem，andhewelcomedmostoftheminpreferencetomateriamedica。ItistruethathisanimosityforthefounderoftheChristianSciencecultsometimesseemstolapoverandfringethereligionitself；butthisisapparentratherthanreal。Furthermore，hefrequentlyexpressedadeepobligationwhichhumanityowedtothefounderofthefaith，inthatshehadorganizedahealingelementignorantlyandindifferentlyemployedhitherto。HisquarrelwithMrs。Eddylayinthebeliefthatsheherself，asheexpressedit，was"averyunsoundChristianScientist。"
Ibelieveshehasaseriousmalady——self—edification——andthatitwillbewelltohaveoneoftheexpertsdemonstrateoverher。[Butheadded]：Closelyexamined，painstakinglystudied，sheiseasilythemostinterestingpersonontheplanet，andinseveralwaysaseasilythemostextraordinarywomanthatwaseverbornuponit。
Necessarily，theforcesofChristianSciencewerearousedbythesearticles，andtherewerevariousreplies，amongthem，onebythefounderherself，amoderaterejoinderinherusualliteraryform。
"Mrs。EddyinError，"intheNorthAmericanReviewforApril，1903，completedwhatClemenshadtosayonthematterforthistime。
Hewasputtingtogetherabookonthesubject，comprisedofhisvariouspublishedpapersandsomeaddedchapters。Itwouldnotbealargevolume，andheofferedtolethisChristianScienceopponentsshareitwithhim，statingtheirsideofthecase。Mr。WilliamD。McCrackan，oneofthechurch’schiefadvocates，wasamongthoseinvitedtoparticipate。
McCrackanandClemens，fromhavingbegunasenemies，hadbecomequitefriendly，andhaddiscussedtheirdifferencesfacetofaceatconsiderablelength。EarlyinthecontroversyClemensonenightwroteMcCrackanaprettysavageletter。Hethrewitonthehalltableformailing，butlatergotoutofbedandslippeddown—stairstogetit。Itwastoolate——thelettershadbeengatheredupandmailed。NexteveningatrulyChristiannotecamefromMcCrackan，returningthehastyletter，whichhesaidhewassurethewriterwouldwishtorecall。Theirfriendshipbeganthere。Forsomereason，however，thecollaboratedvolumedidnotmaterialize。Intheend，publicationwasdelayedanumberofyears，bywhichtimeClemens’sactiveinterestwasagooddealmodified，thoughthepracticeitselfneverfailedtoinvitehisattention。
Howellsreferstohisanti—ChristianSciencerages，whichbeganwiththepostponementofthebook，andtheseClemensventedatthetimeinanothermanuscriptentitled，"Eddypus，"animaginaryhistoryofathousandyearshence，whenEddyismshouldruletheworld。Bythatdayitsfounderwouldhavebecomeadeity，andthecalendarwouldbechangedtoaccordwithherbirth。Itwasnotpublishablematter，andreallyneverintendedassuch。
ItwasjustoneofthethingswhichMarkTwainwrotetorelievementalpressure。
CCXXVI
"WASITHEAVEN？ORHELL？"
TheChristmasnumberofHarper’sMagazinefor1902containedthestory，"WasitHeaven？orHell？"anditimmediatelybroughtafloodofletterstoitsauthorfromgratefulreadersonbothsidesoftheocean。AnEnglishmanwrote："Iwanttothankyouforwritingsopatheticandsoprofoundlytrueastory"；andanAmericandeclaredittobethebestshortstoryeverwritten。Anotherlettersaid：
Ihavelearnedtolovethosemaidenliars——loveandweepoverthem——
thenputthembesideDante’sBeatriceinParadise。
Therewereplentyofsuchletters；buttherewasoneofadifferentsort。
Itwasaletterfromamanwhohadbutrecentlygonethroughalmostpreciselytheexperiencenarratedinthetale。Hisdeaddaughterhadevenbornethesamename——Helen。Shehaddiedoftyphuswhilehermotherwasprostratedwiththesamemalady，andthedeceptionhadbeenmaintainedinpreciselythesameway，eventothefictitiouslywrittenletters。Clemensrepliedtothisletter，acknowledgingthestrikingnatureofthecoincidenceitrelated，andaddedthat，hadheinventedthestory，hewouldhavebelieveditacaseofmentaltelegraphy。
Iwasmerelytellingatruestoryjustasithadbeentoldtomebyonewhowellknewthemotherandthedaughter&allthebeautiful&
patheticdetails。Iwaslivinginthehousewhereithadhappened，threeyearsbefore，&Iputitonpaperatoncewhileitwasfreshinmymind，&itspathosstillstrainingatmyheartstrings。
Clemensdidnotguessthatthecoincidenceswerenotyetcomplete，thatwithinamonththedramaofthetalewouldbeenactedinhisownhome。
Inhisnote—book，underthedateofDecember241902，hewrote：
Jeanwashitwithachill：Clarawascompletingherwatchinhermother’sroomandtherewasnooneabletoforceJeantogotobed。
Asaresultsheisprettyillto—day—fever&hightemperature。
Threedayslaterheadded：
Itwaspneumonia。For5daysjean’stemperaturerangedbetween103
&1042/5，tillthismorning，whenitgotdownto101。Shelookslikeanescapedsurvivorofaforestfire。For6daysnowmystoryintheChristmasHarper’s"WasitHeaven？orHell？"——hasbeenenactedinthishousehold。EverydayClara&thenurseshaveliedaboutJeantohermother，describingthefinetimessheishavingoutdoorsinthewintersports。
Thatprovedahard，tryingwinterintheClemenshome，andtheburdenofitfellchiefly，indeedalmostentirely，uponClaraClemens。Mrs。
Clemensbecamestillmorefrail，andnoothermemberofthefamily，notevenherhusband，wasallowedtoseeherforlongerthanthebriefestinterval。Yetthepatientwasallthemoreanxioustoknowthenews，anddailyithadtobeprepared——chieflyinvented——forhercomfort。InanaccountwhichClemensoncesetdownofthe"SiegeandSeasonofUnveracity，"ashecalledit，hesaid：
Clarastoodadailywatchofthreeorfourhours，andherswasahardofficeindeed。Dailyshesealedupinherheartadozendangeroustruths，andthussavedhermother’slifeandhopeandhappinesswithholylies。Shehadnevertoldhermotheralieinherlifebefore，andImayalmostsaythatshenevertoldheratruthafterward。ItwasfortunateforusallthatClara’sreputationfortruthfulnesswassowellestablishedinhermother’smind。Itwasourdailyprotectionfromdisaster。ThemotherneverdoubtedClara’sword。Claracouldtellherlargeimprobabilitieswithoutexcitinganysuspicion，whereasifItriedtomarketevenasmallandsimpleonethecasewouldhavebeendifferent。IwasneverabletogetareputationlikeClara’s。Mrs。ClemensquestionedClaraeverydayconcerningJean’shealth，spirits，clothes，employments，andamusements，andhowshewasenjoyingherself；andClarafurnishedtheinformationrightalonginminutedetail——everywordofitfalse，ofcourse。EverydayshehadtotellhowJeandressed，andintimeshegotsotiredofusingJean’sexistingclothesoverandoveragain，andtryingtogetneweffectsoutofthem，thatfinally，asarelieftoherhard—workedinvention，shegottoaddingimaginaryclothestoJean’swardrobe，andprobablywouldhavedoubleditandtrebleditifawarningnoteinhermother’scommentshadnotadmonishedherthatshewasspendingmoremoneyonthesespectralgownsandthingsthanthefamilyincomejustified。
SomeportionsofdetailedaccountsofClara’sbusydaysofthisperiod，aswrittenatthetimebyClemenstoTwichellandtoMrs。Crane，areeminentlyworthpreserving。ToMrs。Crane：
ClaradoesnotgotoherMondaylessoninNewYorktoday[hermotherhavingseemednotsowellthroughthenight]，butforgetsthatfactandentershermother’sroomwhereshehasnobusinesstobe
towardtrain—timedressedinawrapper。
LIVY。Why，Clara，aren’tyougoingtoyourlesson？
CLARAalmostcaught。Yes。
L。Inthatcostume？
CL。Ohno。
L。Well，youcan’tmakeyourtrain；it’simpossible。
CL。Iknow，butI’mgoingtotaketheotherone。
L。Indeedthatwon’tdo——you’llbeeversomuchtoolateforyourlesson。
CL。No，thelesson—timehasbeenputanhourlater。
L。satisfied，thensuddenly。But，Clara，thattrainandthelatelessontogetherwillmakeyoulatetoMrs。Hapgood’sluncheon。
CL。No，thetrainleavesfifteenminutesearlierthanitusedto。
L。satisfied。TellMrs。Hapgood，etc。，etc。，etc。whichClarapromisestodo。Clara，dear，aftertheluncheon——Ihatetoputthisonyou——butcouldyoudotwoorthreelittleshopping—errandsforme？
CL。Oh，itwon’ttroublemeabit—Icandoit。Takesalistofthethingssheistobuy—alistwhichshewillpresentlyhandtoanother。
At3or4P。M。ClaratakesthethingsbroughtfromNewYork，studiesoverherpartalittle，thengoestohermother’sroom。
LIVY。It’sverygoodofyou，dear。Ofcourse，ifIhadknownitwasgoingtobesosnowyanddrizzlyandsloppyIwouldn’thaveaskedyoutobuythem。Didyougetwet？
CL。Oh，nothingtohurt。
L。Youtookacabbothways？
CL。Notfromthestationtothelesson—theweatherwasgoodenoughtillthatwasover。
L。Well，now，tellmeeverythingMrs。Hapgoodsaid。
Claratellsheralongyarn—avoidingnoveltiesandsurprisesandanythinglikelytoinspirequestionsdifficulttoanswer；andofcoursedetailingthemenu，forifithadbeenthefeedingofthe5，000Livywouldhaveinsistedonknowingwhatkindofbreaditwasandhowthefisheswereserved。Byandby，whiletalkingofsomethingelse：
LIVY。Clams！——intheendofDecember。Areyousureitwasclams？
CL。Ididn’tsaycl———ImeantBluePoints。
L。tranquilized。Itseemedodd。WhatisJeandoing？
CL。Shesaidshewasgoingtodoalittletypewriting。
L。Hasshebeenoutto—day？
CL。Onlyamoment，rightafterluncheon。Shewasdeterminedtogooutagain，but————
L。Howdidyouknowshewasout？
CL。savingherselfintime。Katietoldme。Shewasdeterminedtogooutagainintherainandsnow，butIpersuadedhertostayin。
L。withmovingandgratefuladmiration。Clara，youarewonderful！thewisewatchyoukeepoverJean，andtheinfluenceyouhaveoverher；it’ssolovelyofyou，andItiedhereandcan’ttakecareofhermyself。AndshegoesonwiththeseundeservedpraisestillClaraisexpiringwithshame。
ToTwichell：
IamtoseeLivyamomenteveryafternoonuntilshehasanotherbadnight；andIstandindread，forwithallmypracticeIrealizethatinasuddenemergencyIambutapoor，clumsyliar，whereasafinealertandcapableemergencyliaristheonlysortthatisworthanythinginasick—chamber。
Now，Joe，justseewhatreputationcando。AllClara’slifeshehastoldLivythetruthandnowtherewardcomes；Claraliestoherthreeandahalfhourseveryday，andLivytakesitallatpar，whereasevenwhenItellheratruthitisn’tworthmuchwithoutcorroboration……
Soonmybriefvisitisdue。I’vejustbeenuplisteningatLivy’sdoor。
5P。M。Agreatdisappointment。IwassittingoutsideLivy’sdoorwaiting。ClaracameoutaminuteagoandsaidLivyisnotsowell，andthenursecan’tletmeseeherto—day。
Thatpatheticdramawastocontinueinsomedegreeformanyalongmonth。
AllthatwinterandspringMrs。Clemenskeptbutafrailholdonlife。
Clemenswrotelittle，andrefusedinvitationseverywherehecould。Hespenthistimelargelyinwaitingforthetwo—minuteperiodeachdaywhenhecouldstandatthebed—footandsayafewwordstotheinvalid，andheconfinedhiswritingmainlytothecomforting，affectionatemessageswhichhewasallowedtopushunderherdoor。Hewasalwayswaitingtherelongbeforethemomenthewaspermittedtoenter。HerillnessandherhelplessnessmademanifestwhatHowellshasfittinglycharacterizedashis"beautifulandtenderloyaltytoher，whichwasthemostmovingqualityofhismostfaithfulsoul。"
CCXXVII
THESECONDRIVERDALEWINTER
MostofMarkTwain’sstorieshavebeendramatizedatonetimeoranother，andwithmoreorlesssuccess。Hehadtwoplaysgoingthatwinter，oneofthemthelittle"DeathDisk，"which——instoryformhadappearedayearbeforeinHarper’sMagazine。ItwasputonattheCarnegieLyceumwithconsiderableeffect，butitwasnotofsufficientimportancetowarrantalongcontinuance。
AnotherplayofthatyearwasadramatizationofHuckleberryFinn，byLeeArthur。ThiswasplayedwithagooddealofsuccessinBaltimore，Philadelphia，andelsewhere，thereceiptsrangingfromthreehundredtotwenty—onehundreddollarspernight，accordingtotheweatherandlocality。Whytheplaywasdiscontinuedisnotaltogetherapparent；
certainlymanyadramaticenterprisehasgonefurther，faringworse。
Huckinbookformalsohadbeenhavingadventuresalittleearlier，inbeingtabooedonaccountofhismoralsbycertainlibrariansofDenverandOmaha。ItwasyearssinceHuckhadbeenintroubleofthatsort，andheacquiredagooddealofnewspapernotorietyinconsequence。
CertainentriesinMarkTwain’snote—bookrevealsomewhatofhislifeandthoughtatthisperiod。Wefindsuchentriesasthis：
Saturday，January3，1903。Theoffspringofriches：Pride，vanity，ostentation，arrogance，tyranny。
Sunday，January4，1903。Theoffspringofpoverty：Greed，sordidness，envy，hate，malice，cruelty，meanness，lying，shirking，cheating，stealing，murder。
Monday，February2，1903。33dweddinganniversary。IwasallowedtoseeLivy5minutesthismorninginhonoroftheday。Shemakesbutlittleprogresstowardrecovery，stillthereiscertainlysome，wearesure。
Sunday，March1，1903。Wemaynotdoubtthatsocietyinheavenconsistsmainlyofundesirablepersons。
Thursday，March19，1903。Susy’sbirthday。Shewouldbe31now。
Thefamilyillnesses，whichpresentlyincludedanallotmentforhimself，hisoldbronchitis，madehimragemorethaneverattheimperfectionsofthespecieswhichcouldbesubjecttosuchavarietyofills。Oncehewrote：
Manwasmadeattheendoftheweek’sworkwhenGodwastired。
Andagain：
Adam，man’sbenefactor——hegavehimallthathehaseverreceivedthatwasworthhaving——death。
TheRiverdalehomewasinrealitylittlemorethanahospitalthatspring。Jeanhadscarcelyrecoveredherphysicalstrengthwhenshewasattackedbymeasles，andClaraalsofellavictimtotheinfection。
FortunatelyMrs。Clemens’shealthhadsomewhatimproved。
ItwasduringthisperiodthatClemensformulatedhiseclectictherapeuticdoctrine。WritingtoTwichellApril4，1903，hesaid：
Livydoesmakealittleprogressthesepast3or4days，progresswhichisvisibletoeventheuntrainedeye。Thephysiciansaredoinggoodworkforher，butmynotionis，thatnoartofhealingisthebestforallills。Ishoulddistributetheailmentsaround：
surgerycasestothesurgeon；lupustotheactinic—rayspecialist；
nervousprostrationtotheChristianScientist；mostillstotheallopath&thehomeopath；&inmyownparticularcaserheumatism，gout，&bronchialattacktotheosteopathist。
Hehadplentyoftimetothinkandtoreadduringthoseweeksofconfinement，andtorage，andtowritewhenhefelttheneedofthatexpression，thoughheappearstohavecompletednotmuchforprintbeyondhisreplytoMrs。Eddy，alreadymentioned，andhisburlesque，"InstructionsinArt，"withpicturesbyhimself，publishedintheMetropolitanforAprilandMay。
HowellscalledhisattentiontosomemilitaryoutragesinthePhilippines，citingacasewhereacertainlieutenanthadtorturedoneofhismen，amildoffender，todeathoutofpuredeviltry，andhadbeentriedbutnotpunishedforhisfiendishcrime。——[ThetorturetodeathofPrivateEdwardC。Richter，anAmericansoldier，byordersofacommissionedofficeroftheUnitedStatesarmyonthenightofFebruary7，1902。PrivateRichterwasboundandgaggedandthegagheldinhismouthbymeansofaclubwhileice—waterwasslowlypouredintohisface，adipperfullatatime，fortwohoursandahalf，untillifebecameextinct。]
Clemensundertooktogiveexpressiontohisfeelingsonthissubject，butheboiledsowhenhetouchedpentopapertowriteofitthatitwassimplyimpossibleforhimtosayanythingwithintheboundsofprint。
Thenhisonlyreliefwastoriseandwalkthefloor，andcurseouthisfuryattheracethathadproducedsuchaspecimen。
Mrs。Clemens，whoperhapsgotsomedriftortheechoofthesetempests，nowandthensenthimalittleadmonitory，affectionatenote。
AmongthebooksthatClemensread，ortriedtoread，duringhisconfinementwerecertainofthenovelsofSirWalterScott。HehadneverbeenabletoadmireScott，anddeterminednowtotrytounderstandthisauthor’spopularityandhisstandingwiththecritics；butafterwadingthroughthefirstvolumeofonenovel，andbeginninganotherone，heconcludedtoapplytoonewhocouldspeakashavingauthority。HewrotetoBranderMatthews：
DEARBRANDER，——Ihaven’tbeenoutofmybedfor4weeks，but—well，I
havebeenreadingagooddeal，&itoccurstometoaskyoutositdown，sometimeorotherwhenyouhave8or9monthstospare，&jotmedownacertainfewliteraryparticularsformyhelp&elevation。
Yourtimeneednotbethrownaway，foratyourfurtherleisureyoucanmakeColumbianlecturesoutoftheresults&doyourstudentsagoodturn。
1。ArethereinSirWalter’snovelspassagesdoneingoodEnglish——
Englishwhichisneitherslovenlynorinvolved？
2。AretherepassageswhoseEnglishisnotpoor&thin&
commonplace，butisofaqualityabovethat？
3。Aretherepassageswhichburnwithrealfire——notpunk，fox—
fire，make—believe？
4。Hasheheroes&heroineswhoarenotcadsandcadesses？
5。Hashepersonageswhoseacts&talkcorrespondwiththeircharactersasdescribedbyhim？
6。Hasheheroes&heroineswhomthereaderadmires——admiresandknowswhy？
7。Hashefunnycharactersthatarefunny，andhumorouspassagesthatarehumorous？
8。Doesheeverchainthereader’sinterest&makehimreluctanttolaythebookdown？
9。Aretherepageswhereheceasesfromposing，ceasesfromadmiringtheplacidflood&flowofhisowndilution，ceasesfrombeingartificial，&isforatime，longorshort，recognizablysincere&inearnest？
10。DidheknowhowtowriteEnglish，&didn’tdoitbecausehedidn’twantto？
11。Didheusetherightwordonlywhenhecouldn’tthinkofanotherone，ordidherunsomuchtowrongwordsbecausehedidn’tknowtherightonewhenhesawit？
12。Canyoureadhimandkeepyourrespectforhim？Ofcourseapersoncouldinhisday——aneraofsentimentality&sloppyromantics——butland！canabodydoitto—day？
Brander，Ilieheredying；slowlydying，undertheblightofSirWalter。IhavereadthefirstvolumeofRobRoy，&asfarasChapterXIXofGuyMannering，&Icannolongerholdmyheaduportakemynourishment。Lord，it’sallsojuvenile！soartificial，soshoddy；&suchwaxfigures&skeletons&specters。Interest？Why，itisimpossibletofeelaninterestinthesebloodlessshams，thesemilk—&—waterhumbugs。Andoh，thepovertyofinvention！Notpovertyininventingsituations，butpovertyinfurnishingreasonsforthem。SirWalterusuallygiveshimselfawaywhenhearrangesforasituation——elaborates&elaborates&elaboratestill，ifyoulivetogettoit，youdon’tbelieveinitwhenithappens。
Ican’tfindtherestofRobRoy，I，can’tstandanymoreMannering—
Idonotknowjustwhattodo，butIwillreflect，¬quitthisgreatstudyrashly……
My，IwishIcouldseeyou&LeighHunt！
Sincerelyyours，S。L。CLEMENS。
Butafewdayslaterheexperiencedarevelation。ItcamewhenheperseveringlyattackedstillathirdworkofScott——QuentinDurward。
HastilyhewrotetoMatthewsagain：
I’mstillinbed，butthedayshavelosttheirdullnesssinceIbrokeintoSirWalter&lostmytemper。IfinishedGuyManneringthatcurious，curiousbook，withitsmobofsqualidshadowsgibberingaroundasingleflesh—&—bloodbeing——Dinmont；abookcrazilyputtogetheroutoftheveryrefuseoftheromanceartist’sstageproperties——finishedit&tookupQuentinDurward&finishedthat。
Itwaslikeleavingthedeadtominglewiththeliving；itwaslikewithdrawingfromtheinfantclassinthecollegeofjournalismtositunderthelecturesinEnglishliteratureinColumbiaUniversity。
IwonderwhowroteQuentinDurward？——[Thisletter，enveloped，addressed，andstamped，wasevidentlymislaid。Itwasfoundandmailedsevenyearslater，June，1910messagefromthedead。]
AmongotherbookswhichhereadthatwinterandspringwasHelenKeller’s’TheStoryofMyLife’，thenrecentlypublished。Thathefinisheditinamoodofsweetgentlenesswegatherfromalong，lovelyletterwhichhewroteher——aletterinwhichhesaid：
Iamcharmedwithyourbook——enchanted。Youareawonderfulcreature，themostwonderfulintheworld——youandyourotherhalftogether——MissSullivan，Imean——forittookthepairofyoutomakeacomplete&
perfectwhole。Howshestandsoutinherletters！herbrilliancy，penetration，originality，wisdom，character，&thefineliterarycompetenciesofherpen——theyareallthere。
Whenreadingandwritingfailedasdiversion，MarkTwainoftenturnedtomathematics。Withnospecialtalentforaccuracyinthematteroffigures，hehadacuriousfondnessforcalculations，scientificandfinancial，andheusedtocoverpages，cipheringatonethingandanother，arrivingprettyinevitablyatthewrongresults。Whentheproblemwasfinancial，andhadtodowithhisownfortunes，hisfigureswereaslikelyasnottoleavehiminastateofpanic。Theexpenditureswerenaturallyheavythatspring；andonenight，whenhehadnothingbettertodo，hefiguredtherelativeproportiontohisincome。Theresultshowedthattheywereheadedstraightforfinancialruin。Heputintherestofthenightfearfullyrollingandtossing，andreconstructinghisfiguresthatgrewalwaysworse，andnextmorningsummonedJeanandClaraandpetrifiedthemwiththeannouncementthatthecostoflivingwasonehundredandtwenty—fivepercent。morethanthemoney—supply。
WritingtoMacAlisterthreedayslaterhesaid：
Itwasamistake。WhenIcamedowninthemorning，agrayandagedwreck，Ifoundthatinsomeunaccountablewayunaccountabletoabusinessman，butnottomeIhadmultipliedthetotalsbytwo。ByGod，Idroppedseventy—fiveyearsonthefloorwhereIstood！
Doyouknowitaffectedmeasoneisaffectedwhenonewakesoutofahideousdream&findsitwasonlyadream。Itwasagreatcomfort&satisfactiontometocallthedaughterstoaprivatemeetingoftheboardagain。Certainlythereisablistering&awfulrealityaboutawell—arrangedunreality。Itisquitewithinthepossibilitiesthattwoorthreenightslikethatofminewoulddriveamantosuicide。Hewouldrefusetoexaminethefigures，theywouldrevolthimso，&hewouldgotohisdeathunawarethattherewasnothingseriousaboutthem。Icannotgetthatnightoutofmyhead，itwassovivid，soreal，soghastly：Inanyotheryearofthesethirty—threethereliefwouldhavebeensimple：gowhereyoucan，cutyourclothtofityourincome。Youcan’tdothatwhenyourwifecan’tbemoved，evenfromoneroomtothenext。
Thedoctor&aspecialistmetinconspiracyfivedaysago，&intheirbeliefshewillbyandbycomeoutofthisasgoodasnew，substantially。TheyorderedhertoItalyfornextwinter——whichseemstoindicatethatbyautumnshewillbeabletoundertakethevoyage。SoClaraiswritingtoaFlorencefriendtotakealookaroundamongthevillasforusintheregionsnearthatcity。
CCXXVIII
PROFFEREDHONORS
MarkTwainhadbeenathomewellontowardthreeyears；buthispopularityshowednosignsofdiminishing。Sofarfromhavingwaned，ithadsurgedtoahigherpointthaneverbefore。Hiscrusadeagainstpublicandprivateabuseshadstirredreaders，andhadsetthemtothinking；thenewsofillnessinhishousehold；areportthathewascontemplatinganotherresidenceabroad——thesethingsmoveddeeplythepublicheart，andatideoflettersflowedin，lettersofeverysort——ofsympathy，oflove，orheartyendorsement，whateverhisattitudeofreform。
WhenawriterinaNewYorknewspapersaid，"LetusgooutsidetherealmofpracticalpoliticsnexttimeinchoosingourcandidatesforthePresidency，"andasked，"Whoisourablestandmostconspicuousprivatecitizen？"anothereditorialwriter，JosephHollister，repliedthatMarkTwainwas"thegreatestmanofhisdayinprivatelife，andentitledtothefullestmeasureofrecognition。"
ButClemenswaswithoutpoliticalambitions。Heknewthewayofsuchthingstoowell。WhenHollistersenthimtheeditorialherepliedonlywithawordofthanks，anddidnot，eveninjest，encouragethattinyseedofaPresidentialboom。Onewouldliketopublishmanyofthebeautifullettersreceivedduringthisperiod，fortheyarebeautiful，mostofthem，howeverilliterateinform，howeverdiscouraginginlength——beautifulinthattheyoverflowwiththewriters’sincerityandgratitude。
Somanyofthemcamefromchildren，usuallywithoutthehopeofareply，somesignedonlywithinitials，thatthewritersmightnotbeopentothesuspicionofbeingseekersforhisautograph。Almostmorethananyotherreward，MarkTwainvaluedthisloveofthechildren。