byMarkTwain[LeftoutofATrampAbroad,becauseitwasfearedthatsomeoftheparticularshadbeenexaggerated,andthatotherswerenottrue。Beforethesesuspicionshadbeenprovengroundless,thebookhadgonetopress。
——M。T。]
Thefollowingcurioushistorywasrelatedtomebyachancerailwayacquaintance。Hewasagentlemanmorethanseventyyearsofage,andhisthoroughlygoodandgentlefaceandearnestandsinceremannerimprintedtheunmistakablestampoftruthuponeverystatementwhichfellfromhislips。Hesaid:
YouknowinwhatreverencetheroyalwhiteelephantofSiamisheldbythepeopleofthatcountry。Youknowitissacredtokings,onlykingsmaypossessit,andthatitis,indeed,inameasureevensuperiortokings,sinceitreceivesnotmerelyhonorbutworship。Verywell;fiveyearsago,whenthetroublesconcerningthefrontierlinearosebetweenGreatBritainandSiam,itwaspresentlymanifestthatSiamhadbeeninthewrong。Thereforeeveryreparationwasquicklymade,andtheBritishrepresentativestatedthathewassatisfiedandthepastshouldbeforgotten。ThisgreatlyrelievedtheKingofSiam,andpartlyasatokenofgratitude,partlyalso,perhaps,towipeoutanylittleremainingvestigeofunpleasantnesswhichEnglandmightfeeltowardhim,hewishedtosendtheQueenapresent——thesolesurewayofpropitiatinganenemy,accordingtoOrientalideas。Thispresentoughtnotonlytobearoyalone,buttranscendentlyroyal。Wherefore,whatofferingcouldbesomeetasthatofawhiteelephant?MypositionintheIndiancivilservicewassuchthatIwasdeemedpeculiarlyworthyofthehonorofconveyingthepresenttoherMajesty。Ashipwasfittedoutformeandmyservantsandtheofficersandattendantsoftheelephant,andinduetimeIarrivedinNewYorkharborandplacedmyroyalchargeinadmirablequartersinJerseyCity。Itwasnecessarytoremainawhileinordertorecruit,theanimal’shealthbeforeresumingthevoyage。
Allwentwellduringafortnight——thenmycalamitiesbegan。Thewhiteelephantwasstolen!Iwascalledupatdeadofnightandinformedofthisfearfulmisfortune。ForsomemomentsIwasbesidemyselfwithterrorandanxiety;Iwashelpless。ThenIgrewcalmerandcollectedmyfaculties。Isoonsawmycourse——for,indeed,therewasbuttheone;
courseforanintelligentmantopursue。Lateasitwas,IflewtoNewYorkandgotapolicemantoconductmetotheheadquartersofthedetectiveforce。FortunatelyIarrivedintime,thoughthechiefoftheforce,thecelebratedInspectorBluntwasjustonthepointofleavingforhishome。Hewasamanofmiddlesizeandcompactframe,andwhenhewasthinkingdeeplyhehadawayofknitinghisbrowsandtappinghisforeheadreflectivelywithhisfinger,whichimpressedyouatoncewiththeconvictionthatyoustoodinthepresenceofapersonofnocommonorder。Theverysightofhimgavemeconfidenceandmademehopeful。
Istatedmyerrand。Itdidnotflurryhimintheleast;ithadnomorevisibleeffectuponhisironself—possessionthanifIhadtoldhimsomebodyhadstolenmydog。Hemotionedmetoaseat,andsaid,calmly:
"Allowmetothinkamoment,please。"
Sosaying,hesatdownathisofficetableandleanedhisheaduponhishand。Severalclerkswereatworkattheotherendoftheroom;thescratchingoftheirpenswasallthesoundIheardduringthenextsixorsevenminutes。Meantimetheinspectorsatthere,buriedinthought。
Finallyheraisedhishead,andtherewasthatinthefirmlinesofhisfacewhichshowedmethathisbrainhaddoneitsworkandhisplanwasmade。Saidhe——andhisvoicewaslowandimpressive:
"Thisisnoordinarycase。Everystepmustbewarilytaken;eachstepmustbemadesurebeforethenextisventured。Andsecrecymustbeobserved——secrecyprofoundandabsolute。Speaktonooneaboutthematter,noteventhereporters。Iwilltakecareofthem;Iwillseethattheygetonlywhatitmaysuitmyendstoletthemknow。"Hetouchedabell;ayouthappeared。"Alaric,tellthereporterstoremainforthepresent。"Theboyretired。"Nowletusproceedtobusiness——andsystematically。Nothingcanbeaccomplishedinthistradeofminewithoutstrictandminutemethod。"
Hetookapenandsomepaper。"Now——nameoftheelephant?"
"HassanBenAliBenSelimAbdallahMohammedMoistAlhammalJamsetjejeebhoyDhuleepSultanEbuBhudpoor。"
"Verywell。Givenname?"
"Jumbo。"
"Verywell。Placeofbirth?"
"ThecapitalcityofSiam。"
"Parentsliving?"
"No——dead。"
"Hadtheyanyotherissuebesidesthisone?"
"None。Hewasanonlychild。"
"Verywell。Thesemattersaresufficientunderthathead。Nowpleasedescribetheelephant,andleaveoutnoparticular,howeverinsignificant——thatis,insignificantfromyourpointofview。Tomeinmyprofessiontherearenoinsignificantparticulars;theydonotexist。"
Idescribedhewrote。WhenIwasdone,hesaid:
"Nowlisten。IfIhavemadeanymistakes,correctme。"
Hereadasfollows:
"Height,19feet;lengthfromapexofforeheadinsertionoftail,26
feet;lengthoftrunk,16feet;lengthoftail,6feet;totallength,includingtrunk,andtail,48feet;lengthoftusks,9?feet;earskeepingwiththesedimensions;footprintresemblesthemarkleftwhenoneup—endsabarrelinthesnow;thecoloroftheelephant,adullwhite;
hasaholethesizeofaplateineachearfortheinsertionofjewelryandpossessesthehabitinaremarkabledegreeofsquirtingwateruponspectatorsandofmaltreatingwithhistrunknotonlysuchpersonsasheisacquaintedwith,butevenentirestrangers;limpsslightlywithhisrighthindleg,andhasasmallscarinhisleftarmpitcausedbyaformerboil;hadon,whenstolen,acastlecontainingseatsforfifteenpersons,andagold—clothsaddle—blanketthesizeofanordinarycarpet。"
Therewerenomistakes。Theinspectortouchedthebell,handedthedescriptiontoAlaric,andsaid:
"Havefiftythousandcopiesofthisprintedatonceandmailedtoeverydetectiveofficeandpawnbroker’sshoponthecontinent。"Alaricretired。"There——sofar,sogood。Next,Imusthaveaphotographoftheproperty。"
Igavehimone。Heexamineditcritically,andsaid:
"Itmustdo,sincewecandonobetter;buthehashistrunkcurledupandtuckedintohismouth。Thatisunfortunate,andiscalculatedtomislead,forofcoursehedoesnotusuallyhaveitinthatposition。"
Hetouchedhisbell。
"Alaric,havefiftythousandcopiesofthisphotographmadethefirstthinginthemorning,andmailthemwiththedescriptivecirculars。"
Alaricretiredtoexecutehisorders。Theinspectorsaid:
"Itwillbenecessarytoofferareward,ofcourse。Nowastotheamount?"
"Whatsumwouldyousuggest?"
"Tobeginwith,Ishouldsay——well,twenty—fivethousanddollars。Itisanintricateanddifficultbusiness;thereareathousandavenuesofescapeandopportunitiesofconcealment。Thesethieveshavefriendsandpalseverywhere——"
"Blessme,doyouknowwhotheyare?"
Thewaryface,practisedinconcealingthethoughtsandfeelingswithin,gavemenotoken,noryetthereplyingwords,soquietlyuttered:
"Nevermindaboutthat。Imay,andImaynot。Wegenerallygatheraprettyshrewdinklingofwhoourmanisbythemannerofhisworkandthesizeofthegamehegoesafter。Wearenotdealingwithapickpocketorahallthiefnow,makeupyourmindtothat。Thispropertywasnot’lifted’byanovice。But,asIwassaying,consideringtheamountoftravelwhichwillhavetobedone,andthediligencewithwhichthethieveswillcoveruptheirtracesastheymovealong,twenty—fivethousandmaybetoosmallasumtooffer,yetIthinkitworthwhiletostartwiththat。"
Sowedetermineduponthatfigureasabeginning。Thenthisman,whomnothingescapedwhichcouldbyanypossibilitybemadetoserveasaclue,said:
"Therearecasesindetectivehistorytoshowthatcriminalshavebeendetectedthroughpeculiarities,intheirappetites。Now,whatdoesthiselephanteat,andhowmuch?"
"Well,astowhatheeats——hewilleatanything。Hewilleataman,hewilleataBible——hewilleatanythingbetweenamanandaBible。"
"Goodverygood,indeed,buttoogeneral。Detailsarenecessary——detailsaretheonlyvaluablethingsinourtrade。Verywell——astomen。Atonemeal——or,ifyouprefer,duringoneday——howmanmenwillheeat,iffresh?"
"Hewouldnotcarewhethertheywerefreshornot;atasinglemealhewouldeatfiveordinarymen。
"Verygood;fivemen;wewillputthatdown。Whatnationalitieswouldheprefer?"
"Heisindifferentaboutnationalities。Heprefersacquaintances,butisnotprejudicedagainststrangers。"
"Verygood。Now,astoBibles。HowmanyBibleswouldheeatatameal?"
"Hewouldeatanentireedition。"
"Itishardlysuccinctenough。Doyoumeantheordinaryoctavo,orthefamilyillustrated?"
"Ithinkhewouldbeindifferenttoillustrationsthatis,Ithinkhewouldnotvalueillustrationsabovesimpleletterpress。"
"No,youdonotgetmyidea。Irefertobulk。TheordinaryoctavoBibleweighsabouttwopound;andahalf,whilethegreatquartowiththeillustrationsweighstenortwelve。HowmanyDoreBibleswouldheeatatameal?"
"Ifyouknewthiselephant,youcouldnotask。Hewouldtakewhattheyhad。"
"Well,putitindollarsandcents,then。Wemustgetatitsomehow。
TheDorecostsahundreddollarsacopy,Russialeather,beveled。"
"Hewouldrequireaboutfiftythousanddollarsworth——sayaneditionoffivehundredcopies。"
"Nowthatismoreexact。Iwillputthatdown。Verywell;helikesmenandBibles;sofar,sogood。Whatelsewillheeat?Iwantparticulars。"
"HewillleaveBiblestoeatbricks,hewillleavebrickstoeatbottles,hewillleavebottlestoeatclothing,hewillleaveclothingtoeatcats,hewillleavecatstoeatoysters,hewillleaveoysterstoeatham,hewillleavehamtoeatsugar,hewillleavesugartoeatpie,hewillleavepietoeatpotatoes,hewillleavepotatoestoeatbran;hewillleavebrantoeathay,hewillleavehaytoeatoats,hewillleaveoatstoeatrice,forhewasmainlyraisedonit。ThereisnothingwhateverthathewillnoteatbutEuropeanbutter,andhewouldeatthatifhecouldtasteit。"
"Verygood。Generalquantityatameal——sayabout——"
"Well,anywherefromaquartertohalfaton。"
"Andhedrinks——"
"Everythingthatisfluid。Milk,water,whisky,molasses,castoroil,camphene,carbolicacid——itisnousetogointoparticulars;whateverfluidoccurstoyousetitdown。Hewilldrinkanythingthatisfluid,exceptEuropeancoffee。"
"Verygood。Astoquantity?"
"Putitdownfivetofifteenbarrels——histhirstvaries;hisotherappetitesdonot。"
"Thesethingsareunusual。Theyoughttofurnishquitegoodcluestowardtracinghim。"
Hetouchedthebell。
"Alaric;summonCaptainBurns。"
Burnsappeared。InspectorBluntunfoldedthewholemattertohim,detailbydetail。Thenhesaidintheclear,decisivetonesofamanwhoseplansareclearlydefinedinhisheadandwhoisaccustomedtocommand:
"CaptainBurns,detailDetectivesJones,Davis,Halsey,Bates,andHacketttoshadowtheelephant。"
"Yes,sir。"
"DetailDetectivesMoses,Dakin,Murphy,Rogers,Tupper,Higgins,andBartholomewtoshadowthethieves。"
"Yes,sir。"
"Placeastrongguard——Aguardofthirtypickedmen,withareliefofthirty——overtheplacefromwhencetheelephantwasstolen,tokeepstrictwatchtherenightandday,andallownonetoapproach——exceptreporters——withoutwrittenauthorityfromme。"
"Yes,sir。"
"Placedetectivesinplainclothesintherailway;steamship,andferrydepots,anduponallroadwaysleadingoutofJerseyCity,withorderstosearchallsuspiciouspersons。"
"Yes,sir。"
"Furnishallthesemenwithphotographandaccompanyingdescriptionoftheelephant,andinstructthemtosearchalltrainsandoutgoingferryboatsandothervessels。"
"Yes,sir。"
"Iftheelephantshouldbefound,lethimbeseized,andtheinformationforwardedtomebytelegraph。"
"Yes,sir。"
"Letmebeinformedatonceifanycluesshouldbefoundfootprintsoftheanimal,oranythingofthatkind。"
"Yes,sir。"
"Getanordercommandingtheharborpolicetopatrolthefrontagesvigilantly。"
"Yes,sir。"
"Despatchdetectivesinplainclothesoveralltherailways,northasfarasCanada,westasfarasOhio,southasfarasWashington。"
"Yes,sir。"
"Placeexpertsinallthetelegraphofficestolistenintoallmessages;
andletthemrequirethatallcipherdespatchesbeinterpretedtothem。"
"Yes,sir。"
"Letallthesethingsbedonewiththeutmost’ssecrecy——mind,themostimpenetrablesecrecy。"
"Yes,sir。"
"Reporttomepromptlyattheusualhour。"
"Yes,Sir。"
"Go!"
"Yes,sir。"
Hewasgone。
InspectorBluntwassilentandthoughtfulamoment,whilethefireinhiseyecooleddownandfadedout。Thenheturnedtomeandsaidinaplacidvoice:
"Iamnotgiventoboasting,itisnotmyhabit;but——weshallfindtheelephant。"
Ishookhimwarmlybythehandandthankedhim;andIfeltmythanks,too。ThemoreIhadseenofthemanthemoreIlikedhimandthemoreI
admiredhimandmarveledoverthemysteriouswondersofhisprofession。
Thenwepartedforthenight,andIwenthomewithafarhappierheartthanIhadcarriedwithmetohisoffice。
II
Nextmorningitwasallinthenewspapers,intheminutestdetail。Itevenhadadditions——consistingofDetectiveThis,DetectiveThat,andDetectiveTheOther’s"Theory"astohowtherobberywasdone,whotherobberswere,andwhithertheyhadflownwiththeirbooty。Therewereelevenofthesetheories,andtheycoveredallthepossibilities;andthissinglefactshowswhatindependentthinkersdetectivesare。Notwotheorieswerealike,orevenmuchresembledeachother,saveinonestrikingparticular,andinthatonealltheothereleventheorieswereabsolutelyagreed。Thatwas,thatalthoughtherearofmybuildingwastornoutandtheonlydoorremainedlocked,theelephanthadnotbeenremovedthroughtherent,butbysomeother(undiscovered)outlet。
Allagreedthattherobbershadmadethatrentonlytomisleadthedetectives。Thatneverwouldhaveoccurredtomeortoanyotherlayman,perhaps,butithadnotdeceivedthedetectivesforamoment。Thus,whatIhadsupposedwastheonlythingthathadnomysteryaboutitwasinfacttheverythingIhadgonefurthestastrayin。Theeleventheoriesallnamedthesupposedrobbers,butnotwonamedthesamerobbers;thetotalnumberofsuspectedpersonswasthirty—seven。Thevariousnewspaperaccountsallclosedwiththemostimportantopinionofall——
thatofChiefInspectorBlunt。Aportionofthisstatementreadasfollows:
Thechiefknowswhothetwoprincipalsare,namely,"Brick"Daffyand"Red"McFadden。Tendaysbeforetherobberywasachievedhewasalreadyawarethatitwastobeattempted,andhadquietlyproceededtoshadowthesetwonotedvillains;butunfortunatelyonthenightinquestiontheirtrackwaslost,andbeforeitcouldbefoundagainthebirdwasflown——thatis,theelephant。
DaffyandMcFaddenaretheboldestscoundrelsintheprofession;thechiefhasreasonsforbelievingthattheyarethemenwhostolethestoveoutofthedetectiveheadquartersonabitternightlastwinter——inconsequenceofwhichthechiefandeverydetectivepresentwereinthehandsofthephysiciansbeforemorning,somewithfrozenfeet,otherswithfrozenfingers,ears,andothermembers。
WhenIreadthefirsthalfofthatIwasmoreastonishedthaneveratthewonderfulsagacityofthisstrangeman。Henotonlysaweverythinginthepresentwithacleareye,buteventhefuturecouldnotbehiddenfromhim。Iwassoonathisoffice,andsaidIcouldnothelpwishinghehadhadthosemenarrested,andsopreventedthetroubleandloss;buthisreplywassimpleandunanswerable:
"Itisnotourprovincetopreventcrime,buttopunishit。Wecannotpunishituntilitiscommitted。"
Iremarkedthatthesecrecywithwhichwehadbegunhadbeenmarredbythenewspapers;notonlyallourfactsbutallourplansandpurposeshadbeenrevealed;evenallthesuspectedpersonshadbeennamed;thesewoulddoubtlessdisguisethemselvesnow,orgointohiding。
"Letthem。TheywillfindthatwhenIamreadyforthemmyhandwilldescenduponthem,intheirsecretplaces,asunerringlyasthehandoffate。Astothenewspapers,wemustkeepinwiththem。Fame,reputation,constantpublicmention——thesearethedetective’sbreadandbutter。Hemustpublishhisfacts,elsehewillbesupposedtohavenone;hemustpublishhistheory,fornothingissostrangeorstrikingasadetective’stheory,orbringshimsomuchwonderfulrespect;wemustpublishourplans,forthesethejournalsinsistuponhaving,andwecouldnotdenythemwithoutoffending。Wemustconstantlyshowthepublicwhatwearedoing,ortheywillbelievewearedoingnothing。
Itismuchpleasantertohaveanewspapersay,’InspectorBlunt’singeniousandextraordinarytheoryisasfollows,’thantohaveitsaysomeharshthing,or,worsestill,somesarcasticone。"
"Iseetheforceofwhatyousay。ButInoticedthatinonepartofyourremarksinthepapersthismorningyourefusedtorevealyouropinionuponacertainminorpoint。"
"Yes,wealwaysdothat;ithasagoodeffect。Besides,Ihadnotformedanyopiniononthatpoint,anyway。"
Idepositedaconsiderablesumofmoneywiththeinspector,tomeetcurrentexpenses,andsatdowntowaitfornews。Wewereexpectingthetelegramstobegintoarriveatanymomentnow。MeantimeIrereadthenewspapersandalsoourdescriptivecircular,andobservedthatourtwenty—fivethousanddollarsrewardseemedtobeofferedonlytodetectives。IsaidIthoughtitoughttobeofferedtoanybodywhowouldcatchtheelephant。Theinspectorsaid:
"Itisthedetectiveswhowillfindtheelephant;hencetherewardwillgototherightplace。Ifotherpeoplefoundtheanimal,itwouldonlybebywatchingthedetectivesandtakingadvantageofcluesandindicationsstolenfromthem,andthatwouldentitlethedetectivestothereward,afterall。Theproperofficeofarewardistostimulatethemenwhodeliveruptheirtimeandtheirtrainedsagacitiestothissortofwork,andnottoconferbenefitsuponchancecitizenswhostumbleuponacapturewithouthavingearnedthebenefitsbytheirownmeritsandlabors。"
Thiswasreasonableenough,certainly。Nowthetelegraphicmachineinthecornerbegantoclick,andthefollowingdespatchwastheresult:
FLOWERSTATION,N。Y。,7。30A。M。
Havegotaclue。Foundasuccessionofdeeptracksacrossafarmnearhere。Followedthemtwomileseastwithoutresult;thinkelephantwentwest。Shallnowshadowhiminthatdirection。
DARLEY,Detective。
"Darley’soneofthebestmenontheforce,"saidtheinspector。"Weshallhearfromhimagainbeforelong。"
TelegramNo。2came:
BARKER’S,N。J。,7。40A。M。
Justarrived。Glassfactorybrokenopenhereduringnight,andeighthundredbottlestaken。Onlywaterinlargequantitynearhereisfivemilesdistant。Shallstrikeforthere。Elephantwillbethirsty。Bottleswereempty。
DARLEY,Detective。
"Thatpromiseswell,too,"saidtheinspector。
Itoldyouthecreature’sappetiteswouldnotbebadclues。"
TelegramNo。3:
TAYLORVILLE,L。I。8。15A。M。
Ahaystacknearheredisappearedduringnight。Probablyeaten。
Havegotaclue,andamoff。
HUBBARD,Detective。
"Howhedoesmovearound!"saidtheinspector"Iknewwehadadifficultjobonhand,butweshallcatchhimyet。"
FLOWERSTATION,N。Y。,9A。M。
Shadowedthetracksthreemileswestward。Large,deep,andragged。
Havejustmetafarmerwhosaystheyarenotelephant—tracks。Saystheyareholeswherehedugupsaplingsforshade—treeswhengroundwasfrozenlastwinter。Givemeordershowtoproceed。
DARLEY,Detective。
"Aha!aconfederateofthethieves!Thething,growswarm,"saidtheinspector。
HedictatedthefollowingtelegramtoDarley:
Arrestthemanandforcehimtonamehispals。ContinuetofollowthetrackstothePacific,ifnecessary。
ChiefBLUNT。
Nexttelegram:
CONEYPOINT,PA。,8。45A。M。
Gasofficebrokenopenhereduringnightandthreemonth;unpaidgasbillstaken。Havegotaclueandamaway。
MURPHY,Detective。
"Heavens!"saidtheinspector;"wouldheeatgasbills?"
"Throughignorance——yes;buttheycannotsupportlife。Atleast,unassisted。"
Nowcamethisexcitingtelegram:
IRONVILLE,N。Y。,9。30A。M。
Justarrived。Thisvillageinconsternation。Elephantpassedthroughhereatfivethismorning。Somesayhewenteastsomesaywest,somenorth,somesouth——butallsaytheydidnotwaittonotice,particularly。Hekilledahorse;havesecureapieceofitforaclue。Killeditwithhistrunk;fromstyleofblow,thinkhestruckitleft—handed。Frompositioninwhichhorselies,thinkelephanttravelednorthwardalonglineBerkleyRailway。Hasfourandahalfhours’start,butImoveonhistrackatonce。
HAWES,DetectiveIutteredexclamationsofjoy。Theinspectorwasasself—containedasagravenimage。Hecalmlytouchedhisbell。
"Alaric,sendCaptainBurnshere。"
Burnsappeared。
"Howmanymenarereadyforinstantorders?"
"Ninety—six,sir。"
"Sendthemnorthatonce。LetthemconcentratealongthelineoftheBerkleyroadnorthofIronville。"
"Yes,sir。"
"Letthemconducttheirmovementswiththeutmostsecrecy。Asfastasothersareatliberty,holdthemfororders。"
"Yes,sir。"
"Go!"
"Yes,sir。"
Presentlycameanothertelegram:
SAGECORNERS,N。Y。,10。30。
Justarrived。Elephantpassedthroughhereat8。15。Allescapedfromthetownbutapoliceman。Apparentlyelephantdidnotstrikeatpoliceman,butatthelamp—post。Gotboth。Ihavesecuredaportionofthepolicemanasclue。
STUMM,Detective。
"Sotheelephanthasturnedwestward,"saidtheinspector。"However,hewillnotescape,formymenarescatteredalloverthatregion。"
Thenexttelegramsaid:
GLOVER’S,11。15
Justarrived。Villagedeserted,exceptsickandaged。Elephantpassedthroughthree—quartersofanhourago。Theanti—temperancemass—meetingwasinsession;heputhistrunkinatawindowandwasheditoutwithwaterfromcistern。Someswallowedit——sincedead;severaldrowned。
DetectivesCrossandO’Shaughnessywerepassingthroughtown,butgoingsouth——somissedelephant。Wholeregionformanymilesaroundinterror—
—peopleflyingfromtheirhomes。Wherevertheyturntheymeetelephant,andmanyarekilled。
BRANT,Detective。
Icouldhaveshedtears,thishavocsodistressedme。Buttheinspectoronlysaid:
"Yousee——weareclosinginonhim。Hefeelsourpresence;hehasturnedeastwardagain。"
Yetfurthertroublousnewswasinstoreforus。Thetelegraphbroughtthis:
HOGANSPORT,12。19。
Justarrived。Elephantpassedthroughhalfanhourago,creatingwildestfrightandexcitement。Elephantragedaroundstreets;twoplumbersgoingby,killedone——otherescaped。Regretgeneral。
O’FLAHERTY,Detective。
"Nowheisrightinthemidstofmymen,"saidtheinspector。"Nothingcansavehim。"
AsuccessionoftelegramscamefromdetectiveswhowerescatteredthroughNewJerseyandPennsylvania,andwhowerefollowingcluesconsistingofravagedbarns,factories,andSunday—schoollibraries,withhighhopes—hopesamountingtocertainties,indeed。Theinspectorsaid:
"IwishIcouldcommunicatewiththemandorderthemnorth,butthatisimpossible。Adetectiveonlyvisitsatelegraphofficetosendhisreport;thenheisoffagain,andyoudon’tknowwheretoputyourhandonhim。"
Nowcamethisdespatch:
BRIDGEPORT,CT。,12。15。
Barnumoffersrateof$4,000ayearforexclusiveprivilegeofusingelephantastravelingadvertisingmediumfromnowtilldetectivesfindhim。Wantstopastecircus—postersonhim。Desiresimmediateanswer。
BOGGS,Detective。
"Thatisperfectlyabsurd!"Iexclaimed。
"Ofcourseitis,"saidtheinspector。"EvidentlyMr。Barnum,whothinksheissosharp,doesnotknowme——butIknowhim。"
Thenhedictatedthisanswertothedespatch:
Mr。Barnum’sofferdeclined。Makeit$7,000ornothing。
ChiefBLUNT。
"There。Weshallnothavetowaitlongforananswer。Mr。Barnumisnotathome;heisinthetelegraphoffice——itishiswaywhenhehasbusinessonhand。Insideofthree——"
Done。——P。T。BARNUM。
Sointerruptedtheclickingtelegraphicinstrument。BeforeIcouldmakeacommentuponthisextraordinaryepisode,thefollowingdespatchcarriedmythoughtsintoanotherandverydistressingchannel:
BOLIVIA,N。Y。,12。50。
Elephantarrivedherefromthesouthandpassedthroughtowardtheforestat11。50,dispersingafuneralontheway,anddiminishingthemournersbytwo。Citizensfiredsomesmallcannon—ballsintohim,andtheyfled。DetectiveBurkeandIarrivedtenminuteslater,fromthenorth,butmistooksomeexcavationsforfootprints,andsolostagooddealoftime;butatlastwestrucktherighttrailandfollowedittothewoods。Wethengotdownonourhandsandkneesandcontinuedtokeepasharpeyeonthetrack,andsoshadoweditintothebrush。Burkewasinadvance。Unfortunatelytheanimalhadstoppedtorest;therefore,Burkehavinghisheaddown,intentuponthetrack,buttedupagainsttheelephant’shindlegsbeforehewasawareofhisvicinity。Burkeinstantlyarosetohisfeet,seizedthetail,andexclaimedjoyfully,"Iclaimthere—
—"butgotnofurther,forasingleblowofthehugetrunklaidthebravefellow’sfragmentslowindeath。Ifledrearward,andtheelephantturnedandshadowedmetotheedgeofthewood,makingtremendousspeed,andIshouldinevitablyhavebeenlost,butthattheremainsofthefuneralprovidentiallyintervenedagainanddivertedhisattention。Ihavejustlearnedthatnothingofthatfuneralisnowleft;butthisisnoloss,forthereisabundanceofmaterialforanother。Meantime,theelephanthasdisappearedagain。
MULROONEY,Detective。
WeheardnonewsexceptfromthediligentandconfidentdetectivesscatteredaboutNewJersey,Pennsylvania,Delaware,andVirginia——whowereallfollowingfreshandencouragingclues——untilshortlyafter2P。M。,whenthistelegramcame:
BAXTERCENTER,2。15。
Elephantbeenhere,plasteredoverwithcircus—bills,anybrokeuparevival,strikingdownanddamagingmanywhowereonthepointofenteringuponabetterlife。Citizenspennedhimupandestablishedaguard。WhenDetectiveBrownandIarrived,sometimeafter,weenteredinclosureandproceededtoidentifyelephantbyphotographanddescription。Allmaskstalliedexactlyexceptone,whichwecouldnotsee——theboil—scarunderarmpit。Tomakesure,Browncreptundertolook,andwasimmediatelybrained——thatis,headcrushedanddestroyed,thoughnothingissuedfromdebris。Allfledsodidelephant,strikingrightandleftwithmucheffect。Heescaped,butleftboldblood—trackfromcannon—wounds。Rediscoverycertain。Hebrokesouthward,throughadenseforest。
BRENT,Detective。
Thatwasthelasttelegram。Atnightfallafogshutdownwhichwassodensethatobjectsbutthreefeetawaycouldnotbediscerned。Thislastedallnight。Theferry—boatsandeventheomnibuseshadtostoprunning。
III
Nextmorningthepaperswereasfullofdetectivetheoriesasbefore;
theyhadallourtragicfactsindetailalso,andagreatmanymorewhichtheyhadreceivedfromtheirtelegraphiccorrespondents。Columnaftercolumnwasoccupied,athirdofitswaydown,withglaringhead—lines,whichitmademyheartsicktoread。Theirgeneraltonewaslikethis:
THEWHITEELEPHANTATLARGE!HEMOVESUPONHISFATALMARCHWHOLE
VILLAGESDESERTEDBYTHEIRFRIGHT—STRICKENOCCUPANTS!PALETERROR
GOESBEFOREHIM,DEATHANDDEVASTATIONFOLLOWAFTER!AFTERTHESE,THEDETECTIVES!BARNSDESTROYED,FACTORIESGUTTED,HARVESTS
DEVOURED,PUBLICASSEMBLAGESDISPERSED,ACCOMPANIEDBYSCENESOF
CARNAGEIMPOSSIBLETODESCRIBE!THEORIESOFTHIRTY—FOUROFTHEMOST
DISTINGUISHEDDETECTIVESONTHEFORCES!THEORYOFCHIEFBLUNT!
"There!"saidInspectorBlunt,almostbetrayedintoexcitement,"thisismagnificent!Thisisthegreatestwindfallthatanydetectiveorganizationeverhad。Thefameofitwilltraveltotheendsoftheearth,andenduretotheendoftime,andmynamewithit。"
Buttherewasnojoyforme。IfeltasifIhadcommittedallthoseredcrimes,andthattheelephantwasonlymyirresponsibleagent。Andhowthelisthadgrown!Inoneplacehehad"interferedwithanelectionandkilledfiverepeaters。"Hehadfollowedthisactwiththedestructionoftwopoolfellows,namedO’DonohueandMcFlannigan,whOhad"foundarefugeinthehomeoftheoppressedofalllandsonlythedaybefore,andwereintheactofexercisingforthefirsttimethenoblerightofAmericancitizensatthepolls,whenstrickendownbytherelentlesshandoftheScourgeofSiam。"Inanother,hehad"foundacrazysensation—
preacherpreparinghisnextseason’sheroicattacksonthedance,thetheater,andotherthingswhichcan’tstrikeback,andhadsteppedonhim。"Andinstillanotherplacehehad"killedalightning—rodagent。"
Andsothelistwenton,growingredderandredder,andmoreandmoreheartbreaking。Sixtypersonshadbeenkilled,andtwohundredandfortywounded。Alltheaccountsborejusttestimonytotheactivityanddevotionofthedetectives,andallclosedwiththeremarkthat"threehundredthousandcitizen;andfourdetectivessawthedreadcreature,andtwoofthelatterhedestroyed。"
Idreadedtohearthetelegraphicinstrumentbegintoclickagain。
Byandbythemessagesbegantopourin,butIwashappilydisappointedintheynature。Itwassoonapparentthatalltraceoftheelephantwaslost。Thefoghadenabledhimtosearchoutagoodhiding—placeunobserved。Telegramsfromthemostabsurdlydistantpointsreportedthatadimvastmasshadbeenglimpsedtherethroughthefogatsuchandsuchanhour,andwas"undoubtedlytheelephant。"ThisdimvastmasshadbeenglimpsedinNewHaven,inNewJersey,inPennsylvania,ininteriorNewYork,inBrooklyn,andeveninthecityofNewYorkitself!Butinallcasesthedimvastmasshadvanishedquicklyandleftnotrace。
Everydetectiveofthelargeforcescatteredoverthishugeextentofcountrysenthishourlyreport,andeachandeveryoneofthemhadaclue,andwasshadowingsomething,andwashotupontheheelsofit。
Butthedaypassedwithoutotherresult。
Thenextdaythesame。
Thenextjustthesame。
Thenewspaperreportsbegantogrowmonotonouswithfactsthatamountedtonothing,clueswhichledtonothing,andtheorieswhichhadnearlyexhaustedtheelementswhichsurpriseanddelightanddazzle。
ByadviceoftheinspectorIdoubledthereward。
Fourmoredulldaysfollowed。Thencameabitterblowtothepoor,hard—workingdetectives——thejournalistsdeclinedtoprinttheirtheories,andcoldlysaid,"Giveusarest。"
Twoweeksaftertheelephant’sdisappearanceIraisedtherewardtoseventy—fivethousanddollarsbytheinspector’sadvice。Itwasagreatsum,butIfeltthatIwouldrathersacrificemywholeprivatefortunethanlosemycreditwithmygovernment。Nowthatthedetectiveswereinadversity,thenewspapersturneduponthem,andbegantoflingthemoststingingsarcasmsatthem。Thisgavetheminstrelsanidea,andtheydressedthemselvesasdetectivesandhuntedtheelephantonthestageinthemostextravagantway。Thecaricaturistsmadepicturesofdetectivesscanningthecountrywithspy—glasses,whiletheelephant,attheirbacks,stoleapplesoutoftheirpockets。Andtheymadeallsortsofridiculouspicturesofthedetectivebadge——youhaveseenthatbadgeprintedingoldonthebackofdetectivenovels,nodoubtitisawide—staringeye,withthelegend,"WENEVERSLEEP。"Whendetectivescalledforadrink,thewould—befacetiousbarkeeperresurrectedanobsoleteformofexpressionandsaid,"Willyouhaveaneye—opener?"
Alltheairwasthickwithsarcasms。
Buttherewasonemanwhomovedcalm,untouched,unaffected,throughitall。Itwasthatheartofoak,thechiefinspector。Hisbraveeyeneverdrooped,hissereneconfidenceneverwavered。Healwayssaid:
"Letthemrailon;helaughsbestwholaughslast。"
Myadmirationforthemangrewintoaspeciesofworship。Iwasathissidealways。Hisofficehadbecomeanunpleasantplacetome,andnowbecamedailymoreandmoreso。YetifhecouldendureitImeanttodosoalso——atleast,aslongasIcould。SoIcameregularly,andstayed——theonlyoutsiderwhoseemedtobecapableofit。EverybodywonderedhowIcould;andoftenitseemedtomethatImustdesert,butatsuchtimesIlookedintothatcalmandapparentlyunconsciousface,andheldmyground。
Aboutthreeweeksaftertheelephant’sdisappearanceIwasabouttosay,onemorning,thatIshouldhavetostrikemycolorsandretire,whenthegreatdetectivearrestedthethoughtbyproposingonemoresuperbandmasterlymove。
Thiswastocompromisewiththerobbers。Thefertilityofthisman’sinventionexceededanythingIhaveeverseen,andIhavehadawideintercoursewiththeworld’sfinestminds。Hesaidhewasconfidenthecouldcompromiseforonehundredthousanddollarsandrecovertheelephant。IsaidIbelievedIcouldscrapetheamounttogether,butwhatwouldbecomeofthepoordetectiveswhohadworkedsofaithfully?Hesaid:
"Incompromisestheyalwaysgethalf。"
Thisremovedmyonlyobjection。Sotheinspectorwrotetwonotes,inthisform:
DEARMADAM,——Yourhusbandcanmakealargesumofmoney(andbeentirelyprotectedfromthelaw)bymakinganimmediate,appointmentwithme。ChiefBLUNT。
Hesentoneofthesebyhisconfidentialmessengertothe"reputedwife"
ofBrickDuffy,andtheothertothereputedwifeofRedMcFadden。
Withinthehourtheseoffensiveanswerscame:
YEOWLDFOOL:brickDuffysbinded2yere。
BRIDGETMAHONEY。
CHIEFBAT,——RedMcFaddenishungandinheving18month。AnyAssbutadetectiveknowthat。
MARYO’HOOLIGAN。
"Ihadlongsuspectedthesefacts,"saidtheinspector;"thistestimonyprovestheunerringaccuracyofmyinstinct。"
Themomentoneresourcefailedhimhewasreadywithanother。Heimmediatelywroteanadvertisementforthemorningpapers,andIkeptacopyofit:
A。——xWhlv。242ht。Tjnd—fz328wmlg。Ozpo,——2m!2m!。M!ogw。
Hesaidthatifthethiefwasalivethiswouldbringhimtotheusualrendezvous。Hefurtherexplainedthattheusualrendezvouswasaglarewhereallbusinessaffairsbetweendetectivesandcriminalswereconducted。Thismeetingwouldtakeplaceattwelvethenextnight。
Wecoulddonothingtillthen,andIlostnotimeingettingoutoftheoffice,andwasgratefulindeedfortheprivilege。
AteleventhenextnightIbroughtonehundredthousanddollarsinbank—notesandputthemintothechief’shands,andshortlyafterwardhetookhisleave,withthebraveoldundimmedconfidenceinhiseye。
Analmostintolerablehourdraggedtoaclose;thenIheardhiswelcometread,androsegaspingandtotteredtomeethim。Howhisfineeyesflamedwithtriumph!Hesaid:
"We’vecompromised!Thejokerswillsingadifferenttuneto—morrow!
Followme!"
Hetookalightedcandleandstrodedownintothevastvaultedbasementwheresixtydetectivesalwaysslept,andwhereascorewerenowplayingcardstowhilethetime。Ifollowedcloseafterhim。Hewalkedswiftlydowntothedimandremoteendoftheplace,andjustasIsuccumbedtothepangsofsuffocationandwasswooningawayhestumbledandfellovertheoutlyingmembersofamightyobject,andIheardhimexclaimashewentdown:
"Ournobleprofessionisvindicated。Hereisyourelephant!"
Iwascarriedtotheofficeaboveandrestoredwithcarbolicacid。Thewholedetectiveforceswarmedin,andsuchanotherseasonoftriumphantrejoicingensuedasIhadneverwitnessedbefore。Thereporterswerecalled,basketsofchampagnewereopened,toastsweredrunk,thehandshakingsandcongratulationswerecontinuousandenthusiastic。
Naturallythechiefwastheheroofthehour,andhishappinesswassocompleteandhadbeensopatientlyandworthilyandbravelywonthatitmademehappytoseeit,thoughIstoodthereahomelessbeggar,mypricelesschargedead,andmypositioninmycountry’sservicelosttomethroughwhatwouldalwaysseemmyfatallycarelessexecutionofagreattrust。Manyaneloquenteyetestifieditsdeepadmirationforthechief,andmanyadetective’svoicemurmured,"Lookathim——justthekingoftheprofession;onlygivehimaclue,it’sallhewants,andthereain’tanythinghidthathecan’tfind。"Thedividingofthefiftythousanddollarsmadegreatpleasure;whenitwasfinishedthechiefmadealittlespeechwhileheputhisshareinhispocket,inwhichhesaid,"Enjoyit,boys,foryou’veearnedit;and,morethanthat,you’veearnedforthedetectiveprofessionundyingfame。"
Atelegramarrived,whichread:
MONROE,MICH。,10P。M。
FirsttimeI’vestruckatelegraphofficeinoverthreeweeks。Havefollowedthosefootprints,horseback,throughthewoods,athousandmilestohere,andtheygetstrongerandbiggerandfreshereveryday。Don’tworry—insideofanotherweekI’llhavetheelephant。Thisisdeadsure。
DARLEY,Detective。
Thechieforderedthreecheersfor"Darley,oneofthefinestmindsontheforce,"andthencommandedthathebetelegraphedtocomehomeandreceivehisshareofthereward。
Soendedthatmarvelousepisodeofthestolenelephant。Thenewspaperswerepleasantwithpraisesoncemore,thenextday,withonecontemptibleexception。Thissheetsaid,"Greatisthedetective!Hemaybealittleslowinfindingalittlethinglikeamislaidelephanthemayhunthimalldayandsleepwithhisrottingcarcassallnightforthreeweeks,buthewillfindhimatlastifhecangetthemanwhomislaidhimtoshowhimtheplace!"
PoorHassanwaslosttomeforever。Thecannonshotshadwoundedhimfatally,hehadcrepttothatunfriendlyplaceinthefog,andthere,surroundedbyhisenemiesandinconstantdangerofdetection,hehadwastedawaywithhungerandsufferingtilldeathgavehimpeace。
Thecompromisecostmeonehundredthousanddollars;mydetectiveexpenseswereforty—twothousanddollarsmore;Ineverappliedforaplaceagainundermygovernment;Iamaruinedmanandawandererontheearthbutmyadmirationforthatman,whomIbelievetobethegreatestdetectivetheworldhaseverproduced,remainsundimmedtothisday,andwillsoremainuntotheend。