首页 >出版文学> JEAN VALJEAN>第53章

第53章

  Funerealsweats。Whatsecretwoundswhichhealonefeltbleed!
  Whatexcoriationsinhislamentableexistence!Howmanytimeshehadrisenbleeding,bruised,broken,enlightened,despairinhisheart,serenityinhissoul!and,vanquished,hehadfelthimselftheconqueror。And,afterhavingdislocated,broken,andrenthisconsciencewithred—hotpincers,ithadsaidtohim,asitstoodoverhim,formidable,luminous,andtranquil:"Now,goinpeace!"
  Butonemergingfromsomelancholyaconflict,whatalugubriouspeace,alas!
  Nevertheless,thatnightJeanValjeanfeltthathewaspassingthroughhisfinalcombat。
  Aheart—rendingquestionpresenteditself。
  Predestinationsarenotalldirect;theydonotopenoutinastraightavenuebeforethepredestinedman;theyhaveblindcourts,impassablealleys,obscureturns,disturbingcrossroadsofferingthechoiceofmanyways。JeanValjeanhadhaltedatthatmomentatthemostperilousofthesecrossroads。
  Hehadcometothesupremecrossingofgoodandevil。Hehadthatgloomyintersectionbeneathhiseyes。Onthisoccasiononcemore,ashadhappenedtohimalreadyinothersadvicissitudes,tworoadsopenedoutbeforehim,theonetempting,theotheralarming。
  Whichwashetotake?
  Hewascounselledtotheonewhichalarmedhimbythatmysteriousindexfingerwhichweallperceivewheneverwefixoureyesonthedarkness。
  Oncemore,JeanValjeanhadthechoicebetweentheterribleportandthesmilingambush。
  Isitthentrue?thesoulmayrecover;butnotfate。Frightfulthing!
  anincurabledestiny!
  Thisistheproblemwhichpresenteditselftohim:
  InwhatmannerwasJeanValjeantobehaveinrelationtothehappinessofCosetteandMarius?Itwashewhohadwilledthathappiness,itwashewhohadbroughtitabout;hehad,himself,burieditinhisentrails,andatthatmoment,whenhereflectedonit,hewasabletoenjoythesortofsatisfactionwhichanarmorerwouldexperienceonrecognizinghisfactorymarkonaknife,onwithdrawingit,allsmoking,fromhisownbreast。
  CosettehadMarius,MariuspossessedCosette。Theyhadeverything,evenriches。Andthiswashisdoing。
  Butwhatwashe,JeanValjean,todowiththishappiness,nowthatitexisted,nowthatitwasthere?Shouldheforcehimselfonthishappiness?Shouldhetreatitasbelongingtohim?
  Nodoubt,Cosettedidbelongtoanother;butshouldhe,JeanValjean,retainofCosetteallthathecouldretain?Shouldheremainthesortoffather,halfseenbutrespected,whichhehadhithertobeen?
  Shouldhe,withoutsayingaword,bringhispasttothatfuture?
  Shouldhepresenthimselfthere,asthoughhehadaright,andshouldheseathimself,veiled,atthatluminousfireside?
  Shouldhetakethoseinnocenthandsintohistragichands,withasmile?ShouldheplaceuponthepeacefulfenderoftheGillenormanddrawing—roomthosefeetofhis,whichdraggedbehindthemthedisgracefulshadowofthelaw?ShouldheenterintoparticipationinthefairfortunesofCosetteandMarius?
  Shouldherendertheobscurityonhisbrowandthecloudupontheirsstillmoredense?Shouldheplacehiscatastropheasathirdassociateintheirfelicity?Shouldhecontinuetoholdhispeace?
  Inaword,shouldhebethesinistermuteofdestinybesidethesetwohappybeings?
  Wemusthavebecomehabituatedtofatalityandtoencounterswithit,inordertohavethedaringtoraiseoureyeswhencertainquestionsappeartousinalltheirhorriblenakedness。Goodorevilstandsbehindthissevereinterrogationpoint。Whatareyougoingtodo?
  demandsthesphinx。
  ThishabitoftrialJeanValjeanpossessed。Hegazedintentlyatthesphinx。
  Heexaminedthepitilessproblemunderallitsaspects。
  Cosette,thatcharmingexistence,wastheraftofthisshipwreck。
  Whatwashetodo?Toclingfasttoit,ortoletgohishold?
  Ifheclungtoit,heshouldemergefromdisaster,heshouldascendagainintothesunlight,heshouldletthebitterwaterdripfromhisgarmentsandhishair,hewassaved,heshouldlive。
  Andifheletgohishold?
  Thentheabyss。
  Thushetooksadcouncilwithhisthoughts。Or,tospeakmorecorrectly,hefought;hekickedfuriouslyinternally,nowagainsthiswill,nowagainsthisconviction。
  HappilyforJeanValjeanthathehadbeenabletoweep。
  Thatrelievedhim,possibly。Butthebeginningwassavage。
  Atempest,morefuriousthantheonewhichhadformerlydrivenhimtoArras,brokeloosewithinhim。Thepastsurgedupbeforehimfacingthepresent;hecomparedthemandsobbed。Thesilenceoftearsonceopened,thedespairingmanwrithed。
  Hefeltthathehadbeenstoppedshort。
  Alas!inthisfighttothedeathbetweenouregotismandourduty,whenwethusretreatstepbystepbeforeourimmutableideal,bewildered,furious,exasperatedathavingtoyield,disputingtheground,hopingforapossibleflight,seekinganescape,whatanabruptandsinisterresistancedoesthefootofthewallofferinourrear!
  Tofeelthesacredshadowwhichformsanobstacle!
  Theinvisibleinexorable,whatanobsession!
  Then,oneisneverdonewithconscience。Makeyourchoice,Brutus;
  makeyourchoice,Cato。Itisfathomless,sinceitisGod。
  Oneflingsintothatwellthelaborofone’swholelife,oneflingsinone’sfortune,oneflingsinone’sriches,oneflingsinone’ssuccess,oneflingsinone’slibertyorfatherland,oneflingsinone’swell—being,oneflingsinone’srepose,oneflingsinone’sjoy!
  More!more!more!Emptythevase!tiptheurn!Onemustfinishbyflinginginone’sheart。
  Somewhereinthefogoftheancienthells,thereisatunlikethat。
  Isnotonepardonable,ifoneatlastrefuses!Cantheinexhaustiblehaveanyright?Arenotchainswhichareendlessabovehumanstrength?
  WhowouldblameSisyphusandJeanValjeanforsaying:"Itisenough!"
  Theobedienceofmatterislimitedbyfriction;istherenolimittotheobedienceofthesoul?Ifperpetualmotionisimpossible,canperpetualself—sacrificebeexacted?
  Thefirststepisnothing,itisthelastwhichisdifficult。
  WhatwastheChampmathieuaffairincomparisonwithCosette’smarriageandofthatwhichitentailed?Whatisare—entranceintothegalleys,comparedtoentranceintothevoid?
  Oh,firststepthatmustbedescended,howsombreartthou!
  Oh,secondstep,howblackartthou!
  Howcouldherefrainfromturningasidehisheadthistime?
  Martyrdomissublimation,corrosivesublimation。Itisatorturewhichconsecrates。Onecanconsenttoitforthefirsthour;
  oneseatsoneselfonthethroneofglowingiron,oneplacesonone’sheadthecrownofhotiron,oneacceptstheglobeofredhotiron,onetakesthesceptreofredhotiron,butthemantleofflamestillremainstobedonned,andcomestherenotamomentwhenthemiserablefleshrevoltsandwhenoneabdicatesfromsuffering?
  Atlength,JeanValjeanenteredintothepeaceofexhaustion。
  Heweighed,hereflected,heconsideredthealternatives,themysteriousbalanceoflightanddarkness。
  Shouldheimposehisgalleysonthosetwodazzlingchildren,orshouldheconsummatehisirremediableengulfmentbyhimself?
  OnonesidelaythesacrificeofCosette,ontheotherthatofhimself。
  Atwhatsolutionshouldhearrive?Whatdecisiondidhecometo?
  Whatresolutiondidhetake?Whatwashisowninwarddefinitiveresponsetotheunbribableinterrogatoryoffatality?Whatdoordidhedecidetoopen?Whichsideofhislifedidheresolveuponclosingandcondemning?Amongalltheunfathomableprecipiceswhichsurroundedhim,whichwashischoice?Whatextremitydidheaccept?
  Towhichofthegulfsdidhenodhishead?
  Hisdizzyreverylastedallnightlong。
  Heremainedthereuntildaylight,inthesameattitude,bentdoubleoverthatbed,prostratebeneaththeenormityoffate,crushed,perchance,alas!withclenchedfists,witharmsoutspreadatrightangles,likeamancrucifiedwhohasbeenun—nailed,andflungfacedownontheearth。Thereheremainedfortwelvehours,thetwelvelonghoursofalongwinter’snight,ice—cold,withoutonceraisinghishead,andwithoututteringaword。
  Hewasasmotionlessasacorpse,whilehisthoughtswallowedontheearthandsoared,nowlikethehydra,nowliketheeagle。
  Anyonetobeholdhimthusmotionlesswouldhavepronouncedhimdead;
  allatonceheshudderedconvulsively,andhismouth,gluedtoCosette’sgarments,kissedthem;thenitcouldbeseenthathewasalive。
  Whocouldsee?SinceJeanValjeanwasalone,andtherewasnoonethere。
  TheOnewhoisintheshadows。
  BOOKSEVENTH。——THELASTDRAUGHTFROMTHECUP
  CHAPTERI
  THESEVENTHCIRCLEANDTHEEIGHTHHEAVEN
  Thedaysthatfollowweddingsaresolitary。Peoplerespectthemeditationsofthehappypair。Andalso,theirtardyslumbers,tosomedegree。Thetumultofvisitsandcongratulationsonlybeginslateron。Onthemorningofthe17thofFebruary,itwasalittlepastmiddaywhenBasque,withnapkinandfeather—dusterunderhisarm,busyinsettinghisantechambertorights,heardalighttapatthedoor。Therehadbeennoring,whichwasdiscreetonsuchaday。
  Basqueopenedthedoor,andbeheldM。Fauchelevent。Heintroducedhimintothedrawing—room,stillencumberedandtopsy—turvy,andwhichboretheairofafieldofbattleafterthejoysoftheprecedingevening。
  "Dame,sir,"remarkedBasque,"weallwokeuplate。"
  "Isyourmasterup?"askedJeanValjean。
  "HowisMonsieur’sarm?"repliedBasque。
  "Better。Isyourmasterup?"
  "Whichone?theoldoneorthenewone?"
  "MonsieurPontmercy。"
  "MonsieurleBaron,"saidBasque,drawinghimselfup。
  AmanisaBaronmostofalltohisservants。Hecountsforsomethingwiththem;theyarewhataphilosopherwouldcall,bespatteredwiththetitle,andthatflattersthem。Marius,beitsaidinpassing,amilitantrepublicanashehadproved,wasnowaBaroninspiteofhimself。Asmallrevolutionhadtakenplaceinthefamilyinconnectionwiththistitle。ItwasnowM。Gillenormandwhoclungtoit,andMariuswhodetachedhimselffromit。
  ButColonelPontmercyhadwritten:"Mysonwillbearmytitle。"
  Mariusobeyed。Andthen,Cosette,inwhomthewomanwasbeginningtodawn,wasdelightedtobeaBaroness。
  "MonsieurleBaron?"repeatedBasque。"Iwillgoandsee。
  IwilltellhimthatM。Faucheleventishere。"
  "No。DonottellhimthatitisI。Tellhimthatsomeonewishestospeaktohiminprivate,andmentionnoname。"
  "Ah!"ejaculatedBasque。
  "Iwishtosurprisehim。"
  "Ah!"ejaculatedBasqueoncemore,emittinghissecond"ah!"
  asanexplanationofthefirst。
  Andhelefttheroom。
  JeanValjeanremainedalone。
  Thedrawing—room,aswehavejustsaid,wasingreatdisorder。
  Itseemedasthough,bylendinganair,onemightstillhearthevaguenoiseofthewedding。Onthepolishedfloorlayallsortsofflowerswhichhadfallenfromgarlandsandhead—dresses。Thewaxcandles,burnedtostumps,addedstalactitesofwaxtothecrystaldropsofthechandeliers。Notasinglepieceoffurniturewasinitsplace。
  Inthecorners,threeorfourarm—chairs,drawnclosetogetherinacircle,hadtheappearanceofcontinuingaconversation。
  Thewholeeffectwascheerful。Acertaingracestilllingersroundadeadfeast。Ithasbeenahappything。Onthechairsindisarray,amongthosefadingflowers,beneaththoseextinctlights,peoplehavethoughtofjoy。Thesunhadsucceededtothechandelier,andmadeitswaygaylyintothedrawing—room。
  Severalminuteselapsed。JeanValjeanstoodmotionlessonthespotwhereBasquehadlefthim。Hewasverypale。Hiseyeswerehollow,andsosunkeninhisheadbysleeplessnessthattheynearlydisappearedintheirorbits。Hisblackcoatborethewearyfoldsofagarmentthathasbeenupallnight。Theelbowswerewhitenedwiththedownwhichthefrictionofclothagainstlinenleavesbehindit。
  JeanValjeanstaredatthewindowoutlinedonthepolishedfloorathisfeetbythesun。
  Therecameasoundatthedoor,andheraisedhiseyes。
  Mariusentered,hisheadwellup,hismouthsmiling,anindescribablelightonhiscountenance,hisbrowexpanded,hiseyestriumphant。
  Hehadnotslepteither。
  "Itisyou,father!"heexclaimed,oncatchingsightofJeanValjean;
  "thatidiotofaBasquehadsuchamysteriousair!Butyouhavecometooearly。Itisonlyhalfpasttwelve。Cosetteisasleep。"
  Thatword:"Father,"saidtoM。FaucheleventbyMarius,signified:
  supremefelicity。Therehadalwaysexisted,asthereaderknows,aloftywall,acoldnessandaconstraintbetweenthem;
  icewhichmustbebrokenormelted。Mariushadreachedthatpointofintoxicationwhenthewallwaslowered,whentheicedissolved,andwhenM。Faucheleventwastohim,astoCosette,afather。
  Hecontinued:hiswordspouredforth,asisthepeculiarityofdivineparoxysmsofjoy。
  "HowgladIamtoseeyou!Ifyouonlyknewhowwemissedyouyesterday!
  Goodmorning,father。Howisyourhand?Better,isitnot?"
  And,satisfiedwiththefavorablereplywhichhehadmadetohimself,hepursued:
  "Wehavebothbeentalkingaboutyou。Cosettelovesyousodearly!
  Youmustnotforgetthatyouhaveachamberhere,WewantnothingmoretodowiththeRuedel’HommeArme。Wewillhavenomoreofitatall。
  Howcouldyougotoliveinastreetlikethat,whichissickly,whichisdisagreeable,whichisugly,whichhasabarrieratoneend,whereoneiscold,andintowhichonecannotenter?Youaretocomeandinstallyourselfhere。Andthisveryday。OryouwillhavetodealwithCosette。Shemeanstoleadusallbythenose,Iwarnyou。
  Youhaveyourownchamberhere,itisclosetoours,itopensonthegarden;thetroublewiththeclockhasbeenattendedto,thebedismade,itisallready,youhaveonlytotakepossessionofit。
  NearyourbedCosettehasplacedahuge,old,easy—chaircoveredwithUtrechtvelvetandshehassaidtoit:`Stretchoutyourarmstohim。’Anightingalecomestotheclumpofacaciasoppositeyourwindows,everyspring。Intwomonthsmoreyouwillhaveit。
  Youwillhaveitsnestonyourleftandoursonyourright。Bynightitwillsing,andbydayCosettewillprattle。YourchamberfacesdueSouth。Cosettewillarrangeyourbooksforyou,yourVoyagesofCaptainCookandtheother,——Vancouver’sandallyouraffairs。
  Ibelievethatthereisalittlevalisetowhichyouareattached,Ihavefixeduponacornerofhonorforthat。Youhaveconqueredmygrandfather,yousuithim。Wewilllivetogether。Doyouplaywhist?youwilloverwhelmmygrandfatherwithdelightifyouplaywhist。ItisyouwhoshalltakeCosettetowalkonthedayswhenIamatthecourts,youshallgiveheryourarm,youknow,asyouusedto,intheLuxembourg。Weareabsolutelyresolvedtobehappy。Andyoushallbeincludedinit,inourhappiness,doyouhear,father?Come,willyoubreakfastwithusto—day?"
  "Sir,"saidJeanValjean,"Ihavesomethingtosaytoyou。
  Iamanex—convict。"
  Thelimitofshrillsoundsperceptiblecanbeoverleaped,aswellinthecaseofthemindasinthatoftheear。Thesewords:
  "Iamanex—convict,"proceedingfromthemouthofM。FaucheleventandenteringtheearofMariusovershotthepossible。Itseemedtohimthatsomethinghadjustbeensaidtohim;buthedidnotknowwhat。
  Hestoodwithhismouthwideopen。
  Thenheperceivedthatthemanwhowasaddressinghimwasfrightful。
  Whollyabsorbedinhisowndazzledstate,hehadnot,uptothatmoment,observedtheotherman’sterriblepallor。
  JeanValjeanuntiedtheblackcravatwhichsupportedhisrightarm,unrolledthelinenfromaroundhishand,baredhisthumbandshowedittoMarius。
  "Thereisnothingthematterwithmyhand,"saidhe。
  Mariuslookedatthethumb。
  "Therehasnotbeenanythingthematterwithit,"wentonJeanValjean。
  Therewas,infact,notraceofanyinjury。
  JeanValjeancontinued:
  "ItwasfittingthatIshouldbeabsentfromyourmarriage。
  Iabsentedmyselfasmuchaswasinmypower。SoIinventedthisinjuryinorderthatImightnotcommitaforgery,thatImightnotintroduceaflawintothemarriagedocuments,inorderthatI
  mightescapefromsigning。"
  Mariusstammered。
  "Whatisthemeaningofthis?"
  "Themeaningofitis,"repliedJeanValjean,"thatIhavebeeninthegalleys。"
  "Youaredrivingmemad!"exclaimedMariusinterror。
  "MonsieurPontmercy,"saidJeanValjean,"Iwasnineteenyearsinthegalleys。Fortheft。Then,Iwascondemnedforlifefortheft,forasecondoffence。Atthepresentmoment,Ihavebrokenmyban。"
  InvaindidMariusrecoilbeforethereality,refusethefact,resisttheevidence,hewasforcedtogiveway。Hebegantounderstand,and,asalwayshappensinsuchcases,heunderstoodtoomuch。
  Aninwardshudderofhideousenlightenmentflashedthroughhim;
  anideawhichmadehimquivertraversedhismind。Hecaughtaglimpseofawretcheddestinyforhimselfinthefuture。
  "Sayall,sayall!"hecried。"YouareCosette’sfather!"
  Andheretreatedacoupleofpaceswithamovementofindescribablehorror。
  JeanValjeanelevatedhisheadwithsomuchmajestyofattitudethatheseemedtogroweventotheceiling。
  "Itisnecessarythatyoushouldbelievemehere,sir;althoughouroathtoothersmaynotbereceivedinlaw……"
  Herehepaused,then,withasortofsovereignandsepulchralauthority,headded,articulatingslowly,andemphasizingthesyllables:
  "……Youwillbelieveme。IthefatherofCosette!beforeGod,no。
  MonsieurleBaronPontmercy,IamapeasantofFaverolles。
  Iearnedmylivingbypruningtrees。MynameisnotFauchelevent,butJeanValjean。IamnotrelatedtoCosette。Reassureyourself。"
  Mariusstammered:
  "Whowillprovethattome?"
  "I。SinceItellyouso。"
  Mariuslookedattheman。Hewasmelancholyyettranquil。Noliecouldproceedfromsuchacalm。Thatwhichisicyissincere。
  Thetruthcouldbefeltinthatchillofthetomb。
  "Ibelieveyou,"saidMarius。
  JeanValjeanbenthishead,asthoughtakingnoteofthis,andcontinued:
  "WhatamItoCosette?Apasser—by。Tenyearsago,Ididnotknowthatshewasinexistence。Iloveher,itistrue。Onelovesachildwhomonehasseenwhenveryyoung,beingoldoneself。Whenoneisold,onefeelsoneselfagrandfathertowardsalllittlechildren。
  Youmay,itseemstome,supposethatIhavesomethingwhichresemblesaheart。Shewasanorphan。Withouteitherfatherormother。
  Sheneededme。ThatiswhyIbegantoloveher。Childrenaresoweakthatthefirstcomer,evenamanlikeme,canbecometheirprotector。IhavefulfilledthisdutytowardsCosette。
  Idonotthinkthatsoslightathingcanbecalledagoodaction;
  butifitbeagoodaction,well,saythatIhavedoneit。
  Registerthisattenuatingcircumstance。To—day,Cosettepassesoutofmylife;ourtworoadspart。Henceforth,Icandonothingforher。SheisMadamePontmercy。Herprovidencehaschanged。
  AndCosettegainsbythechange。Alliswell。Asforthesixhundredthousandfrancs,youdonotmentionthemtome,butI
  forestallyourthought,theyareadeposit。Howdidthatdepositcomeintomyhands?Whatdoesthatmatter?Irestorethedeposit。
  Nothingmorecanbedemandedofme。Icompletetherestitutionbyannouncingmytruename。Thatconcernsme。IhaveareasonfordesiringthatyoushouldknowwhoIam。"
  AndJeanValjeanlookedMariusfullintheface。
  AllthatMariusexperiencedwastumultuousandincoherent。
  Certaingustsofdestinyproducethesebillowsinoursouls。
  Wehaveallundergonemomentsoftroubleinwhicheverythingwithinusisdispersed;wesaythefirstthingsthatoccurtous,whicharenotalwayspreciselythosewhichshouldbesaid。
  Therearesuddenrevelationswhichonecannotbear,andwhichintoxicatelikebalefulwine。Mariuswasstupefiedbythenovelsituationwhichpresenteditselftohim,tothepointofaddressingthatmanalmostlikeapersonwhowasangrywithhimforthisavowal。
  "Butwhy,"heexclaimed,"doyoutellmeallthis?Whoforcesyoutodoso?Youcouldhavekeptyoursecrettoyourself。
  Youareneitherdenounced,nortrackednorpursued。Youhaveareasonforwantonlymakingsucharevelation。Conclude。Thereissomethingmore。Inwhatconnectiondoyoumakethisconfession?
  Whatisyourmotive?"
  "Mymotive?"repliedJeanValjeaninavoicesolowanddullthatonewouldhavesaidthathewastalkingtohimselfratherthantoMarius。
  "Fromwhatmotive,infact,hasthisconvictjustsaid`Iamaconvict’?Well,yes!themotiveisstrange。Itisoutofhonesty。
  Stay,theunfortunatepointisthatIhaveathreadinmyheart,whichkeepsmefast。Itiswhenoneisoldthatthatsortofthreadisparticularlysolid。Alllifefallsinruinaroundone;
  oneresists。HadIbeenabletotearoutthatthread,tobreakit,toundotheknotortocutit,togofaraway,Ishouldhavebeensafe。
  Ihadonlytogoaway;therearediligencesintheRueBouloy;
  youarehappy;Iamgoing。Ihavetriedtobreakthatthread,Ihavejerkedatit,itwouldnotbreak,Itoremyheartwithit。
  ThenIsaid:`Icannotliveanywhereelsethanhere。’Imuststay。
  Well,yes,youareright,Iamafool,whynotsimplyremainhere?
  Youoffermeachamberinthishouse,MadamePontmercyissincerelyattachedtome,shesaidtothearm—chair:`Stretchoutyourarmstohim,’yourgrandfatherdemandsnothingbetterthantohaveme,Isuithim,weshalllivetogether,andtakeourmealsincommon,IshallgiveCosettemyarm……MadamePontmercy,excuseme,itisahabit,weshallhavebutoneroof,onetable,onefire,thesamechimney—cornerinwinter,thesamepromenadeinsummer,thatisjoy,thatishappiness,thatiseverything。Weshallliveasonefamily。
  Onefamily!"
  Atthatword,JeanValjeanbecamewild。Hefoldedhisarms,glaredatthefloorbeneathhisfeetasthoughhewouldhaveexcavatedanabysstherein,andhisvoicesuddenlyroseinthunderingtones:
  "Asonefamily!No。Ibelongtonofamily。Idonotbelongtoyours。
  Idonotbelongtoanyfamilyofmen。Inhouseswherepeopleareamongthemselves,Iamsuperfluous。Therearefamilies,butthereisnothingofthesortforme。Iamanunluckywretch;
  Iamleftoutside。DidIhaveafatherandmother?Ialmostdoubtit。
  OnthedaywhenIgavethatchildinmarriage,allcametoanend。
  Ihaveseenherhappy,andthatsheiswithamanwhomsheloves,andthatthereexistshereakindoldman,ahouseholdoftwoangels,andalljoysinthathouse,andthatitwaswell,Isaidtomyself:
  `Enterthounot。’Icouldhavelied,itistrue,havedeceivedyouall,andremainedMonsieurFauchelevent。Solongasitwasforher,Icouldlie;butnowitwouldbeformyself,andImustnot。Itwassufficientformetoholdmypeace,itistrue,andallwouldgoon。
  Youaskmewhathasforcedmetospeak?averyoddthing;myconscience。
  Toholdmypeacewasveryeasy,however。Ipassedthenightintryingtopersuademyselftoit;youquestionedme,andwhatIhavejustsaidtoyouissoextraordinarythatyouhavetherighttodoit;
  well,yes,Ihavepassedthenightinallegingreasonstomyself,andIgavemyselfverygoodreasons,IhavedonewhatIcould。
  ButtherearetwothingsinwhichIhavenotsucceeded;inbreakingthethreadthatholdsmefixed,rivetedandsealedherebytheheart,orinsilencingsomeonewhospeakssoftlytomewhenIamalone。
  ThatiswhyIhavecomehithertotellyoueverythingthismorning。
  Everythingornearlyeverything。Itisuselesstotellyouthatwhichconcernsonlymyself;Ikeepthattomyself。Youknowtheessentialpoints。SoIhavetakenmymysteryandhavebroughtittoyou。AndIhavedisembowelledmysecretbeforeyoureyes。
  Itwasnotaresolutionthatwaseasytotake。Istruggledallnightlong。Ah!youthinkthatIdidnottellmyselfthatthiswasnoChampmathieuaffair,thatbyconcealingmynameIwasdoingnooneanyinjury,thatthenameofFaucheleventhadbeengiventomebyFaucheleventhimself,outofgratitudeforaservicerenderedtohim,andthatImightassuredlykeepit,andthatI
  shouldbehappyinthatchamberwhichyouofferme,thatIshouldnotbeinanyone’sway,thatIshouldbeinmyownlittlecorner,andthat,whileyouwouldhaveCosette,IshouldhavetheideathatI
  wasinthesamehousewithher。Eachoneofuswouldhavehadhisshareofhappiness。IfIcontinuedtobeMonsieurFauchelevent,thatwouldarrangeeverything。Yes,withtheexceptionofmysoul。
  Therewasjoyeverywhereuponmysurface,butthebottomofmysoulremainedblack。Itisnotenoughtobehappy,onemustbecontent。
  ThusIshouldhaveremainedMonsieurFauchelevent,thusIshouldhaveconcealedmytruevisage,thus,inthepresenceofyourexpansion,Ishouldhavehadanenigma,thus,inthemidstofyourfullnoonday,Ishouldhavehadshadows,thus,withoutcrying`’ware,’Ishouldhavesimplyintroducedthegalleystoyourfireside,IshouldhavetakenmyseatatyourtablewiththethoughtthatifyouknewwhoIwas,youwoulddrivemefromit,Ishouldhaveallowedmyselftobeservedbydomesticswho,hadtheyknown,wouldhavesaid:
  `Howhorrible!’Ishouldhavetouchedyouwithmyelbow,whichyouhavearighttodislike,Ishouldhavefilchedyourclaspsofthehand!Therewouldhaveexistedinyourhouseadivisionofrespectbetweenvenerablewhitelocksandtaintedwhitelocks;
  atyourmostintimatehours,whenallheartsthoughtthemselvesopentotheverybottomtoalltherest,whenwefourweretogether,yourgrandfather,youtwoandmyself,astrangerwouldhavebeenpresent!
  Ishouldhavebeensidebysidewithyouinyourexistence,havingformyonlycarenottodisarrangethecoverofmydreadfulpit。
  Thus,I,adeadman,shouldhavethrustmyselfuponyouwhoarelivingbeings。Ishouldhavecondemnedhertomyselfforever。
  YouandCosetteandIwouldhavehadallthreeofourheadsinthegreencap!Doesitnotmakeyoushudder?Iamonlythemostcrushedofmen;Ishouldhavebeenthemostmonstrousofmen。
  AndIshouldhavecommittedthatcrimeeveryday!AndIshouldhavehadthatfaceofnightuponmyvisageeveryday!everyday!
  AndIshouldhavecommunicatedtoyouashareinmytainteveryday!everyday!toyou,mydearlybeloved,mychildren,toyou,myinnocentcreatures!Isitnothingtoholdone’speace?isitasimplemattertokeepsilence?No,itisnotsimple。Thereisasilencewhichlies。Andmylie,andmyfraudandmyindignity,andmycowardiceandmytreasonandmycrime,Ishouldhavedraineddropbydrop,Ishouldhavespititout,thenswalloweditagain,Ishouldhavefinishedatmidnightandhavebegunagainatmidday,andmy`goodmorning’wouldhavelied,andmy`goodnight’
  wouldhavelied,andIshouldhavesleptonit,Ishouldhaveeatenit,withmybread,andIshouldhavelookedCosetteintheface,andIshouldhaverespondedtothesmileoftheangelbythesmileofthedamnedsoul,andIshouldhavebeenanabominablevillain!
  WhyshouldIdoit?inordertobehappy。Inordertobehappy。
  HaveItherighttobehappy?Istandoutsideoflife,Sir。"
  JeanValjeanpaused。Mariuslistened。Suchchainsofideasandofanguishescannotbeinterrupted。JeanValjeanloweredhisvoiceoncemore,butitwasnolongeradullvoice——itwasasinistervoice。
  "YouaskwhyIspeak?Iamneitherdenounced,norpursued,nortracked,yousay。Yes!Iamdenounced!yes!Iamtracked!Bywhom?
  Bymyself。ItisIwhobarthepassagetomyself,andIdragmyself,andIpushmyself,andIarrestmyself,andIexecutemyself,andwhenoneholdsoneself,oneisfirmlyheld。"
  And,seizingahandfulofhisowncoatbythenapeoftheneckandextendingittowardsMarius:
  "Doyouseethatfist?"hecontinued。"Don’tyouthinkthatitholdsthatcollarinsuchawiseasnottoreleaseit?
  Well!conscienceisanothergrasp!Ifonedesirestobehappy,sir,onemustneverunderstandduty;for,assoonasonehascomprehendedit,itisimplacable。Onewouldsaythatitpunishedyouforcomprehendingit;butno,itrewardsyou;foritplacesyouinahell,whereyoufeelGodbesideyou。Onehasnosoonerlaceratedhisownentrailsthanheisatpeacewithhimself。"
  And,withapoignantaccent,headded:
  "MonsieurPontmercy,thisisnotcommonsense,Iamanhonestman。
  ItisbydegradingmyselfinyoureyesthatIelevatemyselfinmyown。
  Thishashappenedtomeoncebefore,butitwaslesspainfulthen;
  itwasamerenothing。Yes,anhonestman。Ishouldnotbesoif,throughmyfault,youhadcontinuedtoesteemme;nowthatyoudespiseme,Iamso。Ihavethatfatalityhangingovermethat,notbeingabletoeverhaveanythingbutstolenconsideration,thatconsiderationhumiliatesme,andcrushesmeinwardly,and,inorderthatImayrespectmyself,itisnecessarythatIshouldbedespised。ThenIstraightenupagain。Iamagalley—slavewhoobeyshisconscience。Iknowwellthatthatismostimprobable。
  Butwhatwouldyouhavemedoaboutit?itisthefact。Ihaveenteredintoengagementswithmyself;Ikeepthem。Thereareencounterswhichbindus,therearechanceswhichinvolveusinduties。
  Yousee,MonsieurPontmercy,variousthingshavehappenedtomeinthecourseofmylife。"
  AgainJeanValjeanpaused,swallowinghissalivawithaneffort,asthoughhiswordshadabitterafter—taste,andthenhewenton:
  "Whenonehassuchahorrorhangingoverone,onehasnottherighttomakeothersshareitwithouttheirknowledge,onehasnottherighttomakethemslipoverone’sownprecipicewithouttheirperceivingit,onehasnottherighttoletone’sredblousedraguponthem,onehasnorighttoslylyencumberwithone’smiserythehappinessofothers。Itishideoustoapproachthosewhoarehealthy,andtotouchtheminthedarkwithone’sulcer。InspiteofthefactthatFaucheleventlentmehisname,Ihavenorighttouseit;
  hecouldgiveittome,butIcouldnottakeit。Anameisan_I_。
  Yousee,sir,thatIhavethoughtsomewhat,Ihavereadalittle,althoughIamapeasant;andyouseethatIexpressmyselfproperly。
  Iunderstandthings。Ihaveprocuredmyselfaneducation。Well,yes,toabstractanameandtoplaceoneselfunderitisdishonest。
  Lettersofthealphabetcanbefilched,likeapurseorawatch。
  Tobeafalsesignatureinfleshandblood,tobealivingfalsekey,toenterthehouseofhonestpeoplebypickingtheirlock,nevermoretolookstraightforward,toforevereyeaskance,tobeinfamouswithinthe_I_,no!no!no!no!no!Itisbettertosuffer,tobleed,toweep,totearone’sskinfromthefleshwithone’snails,topassnightswrithinginanguish,todevouroneselfbodyandsoul。ThatiswhyIhavejusttoldyouallthis。
  Wantonly,asyousay。"
  Hedrewapainfulbreath,andhurledthisfinalword:
  "Indaysgoneby,Istolealoafofbreadinordertolive;
  to—day,inordertolive,Iwillnotstealaname。"
  "Tolive!"interruptedMarius。"Youdonotneedthatnameinordertolive?"
  "Ah!Iunderstandthematter,"saidJeanValjean,raisingandloweringhisheadseveraltimesinsuccession。
  Asilenceensued。Bothheldtheirpeace,eachplungedinagulfofthoughts。Mariuswassittingnearatableandrestingthecornerofhismouthononeofhisfingers,whichwasfoldedback。
  JeanValjeanwaspacingtoandfro。Hepausedbeforeamirror,andremainedmotionless。Then,asthoughreplyingtosomeinwardcourseofreasoning,hesaid,ashegazedatthemirror,whichhedidnotsee:
  "While,atpresent,Iamrelieved。"
  Hetookuphismarchagain,andwalkedtotheotherendofthedrawing—room。Atthemomentwhenheturnedround,heperceivedthatMariuswaswatchinghiswalk。Thenhesaid,withaninexpressibleintonation:
  "Idragmylegalittle。Nowyouunderstandwhy!"
  ThenheturnedfullyroundtowardsMarius:
  "Andnow,sir,imaginethis:Ihavesaidnothing,IhaveremainedMonsieurFauchelevent,Ihavetakenmyplaceinyourhouse,Iamoneofyou,Iaminmychamber,Icometobreakfastinthemorninginslippers,intheeveningallthreeofusgototheplay,IaccompanyMadamePontmercytotheTuileries,andtothePlaceRoyale,wearetogether,youthinkmeyourequal;onefinedayyouarethere,andIamthere,weareconversing,wearelaughing;allatonce,youhearavoiceshoutingthisname:`JeanValjean!’andbehold,thatterriblehand,thepolice,dartsfromthedarkness,andabruptlytearsoffmymask!"
  Againhepaused;Mariushadsprungtohisfeetwithashudder。
  JeanValjeanresumed:
  "Whatdoyousaytothat?"
  Marius’silenceansweredforhim。
  JeanValjeancontinued:
  "YouseethatIamrightinnotholdingmypeace。Behappy,beinheaven,betheangelofanangel,existinthesun,becontenttherewith,anddonottroubleyourselfaboutthemeanswhichapoordamnedwretchtakestoopenhisbreastandforcehisdutytocomeforth;
  youhavebeforeyou,sir,awretchedman。"
  Mariusslowlycrossedtheroom,and,whenhewasquiteclosetoJeanValjean,heofferedthelatterhishand。
  ButMariuswasobligedtostepupandtakethathandwhichwasnotoffered,JeanValjeanlethimhavehisownway,anditseemedtoMariusthathepressedahandofmarble。
  "Mygrandfatherhasfriends,"saidMarius;"Iwillprocureyourpardon。"
  "Itisuseless,"repliedJeanValjean。"Iambelievedtobedead,andthatsuffices。Thedeadarenotsubjectedtosurveillance。
  Theyaresupposedtorotinpeace。Deathisthesamethingaspardon。"
  And,disengagingthehandwhichMariusheld,headded,withasortofinexorabledignity:
  "Moreover,thefriendtowhomIhaverecourseisthedoingofmyduty;
  andIneedbutonepardon,thatofmyconscience。"
  Atthatmoment,adoorattheotherendofthedrawing—roomopenedgentlyhalfway,andintheopeningCosette’sheadappeared。
  Theysawonlyhersweetface,herhairwasincharmingdisorder,hereyelidswerestillswollenwithsleep。Shemadethemovementofabird,whichthrustsitsheadoutofitsnest,glancedfirstatherhusband,thenatJeanValjean,andcriedtothemwithasmile,sothattheyseemedtobeholdasmileattheheartofarose:
  "Iwillwagerthatyouaretalkingpolitics。Howstupidthatis,insteadofbeingwithme!"
  JeanValjeanshuddered。
  "Cosette!……"stammeredMarius。
  Andhepaused。Onewouldhavesaidthattheyweretwocriminals。
  Cosette,whowasradiant,continuedtogazeatbothofthem。
  Therewassomethinginhereyeslikegleamsofparadise。
  "Ihavecaughtyouintheveryact,"saidCosette。"Justnow,IheardmyfatherFaucheleventthroughthedoorsaying:`Conscience……doingmyduty……’Thatispolitics,indeeditis。Iwillnothaveit。Peopleshouldnottalkpoliticstheverynextday。
  Itisnotright。"
  "Youaremistaken。Cosette,"saidMarius,"wearetalkingbusiness。
  Wearediscussingthebestinvestmentofyoursixhundredthousandfrancs……"
  "Thatisnotitatall"interruptedCosette。"Iamcoming。
  Doesanybodywantmehere?"
  And,passingresolutelythroughthedoor,sheenteredthedrawing—room。
  Shewasdressedinavoluminouswhitedressing—gown,withathousandfoldsandlargesleeveswhich,startingfromtheneck,felltoherfeet。Inthegoldenheavensofsomeancientgothicpictures,therearethesecharmingsacksfittoclothetheangels。
  Shecontemplatedherselffromheadtofootinalongmirror,thenexclaimed,inanoutburstofineffableecstasy:
  "TherewasonceaKingandaQueen。Oh!howhappyIam!"
  Thatsaid,shemadeacurtseytoMariusandtoJeanValjean。
  "There,"saidshe,"Iamgoingtoinstallmyselfnearyouinaneasy—chair,webreakfastinhalfanhour,youshallsayanythingyoulike,Iknowwellthatmenmusttalk,andIwillbeverygood。"
  Mariustookherbythearmandsaidlovinglytoher:
  "Wearetalkingbusiness。"
  "Bytheway,"saidCosette,"Ihaveopenedmywindow,aflockofpierrotshasarrivedinthegarden,——Birds,notmaskers。
  To—dayisAsh—Wednesday;butnotforthebirds。"
  "Itellyouthatwearetalkingbusiness,go,mylittleCosette,leaveusaloneforamoment。Wearetalkingfigures。Thatwillboreyou。"
  "Youhaveacharmingcravatonthismorning,Marius。Youareverydandified,monseigneur。No,itwillnotboreme。"
  "Iassureyouthatitwillboreyou。"
  "No。Sinceitisyou。Ishallnotunderstandyou,butIshalllistentoyou。Whenonehearsthevoicesofthosewhomoneloves,onedoesnotneedtounderstandthewordsthattheyutter。
  Thatweshouldbeheretogether——thatisallthatIdesire。
  Ishallremainwithyou,bah!"
  "YouaremybelovedCosette!Impossible。"
  "Impossible!"
  "Yes。"
  "Verygood,"saidCosette。"Iwasgoingtotellyousomenews。
  Icouldhavetoldyouthatyourgrandfatherisstillasleep,thatyourauntisatmass,thatthechimneyinmyfatherFauchelevent’sroomsmokes,thatNicolettehassentforthechimney—sweep,thatToussaintandNicolettehavealreadyquarrelled,thatNicolettemakessportofToussaint’sstammer。Well,youshallknownothing。
  Ah!itisimpossible?youshallsee,gentlemen,thatI,inmyturn,cansay:Itisimpossible。Thenwhowillbecaught?Ibeseechyou,mylittleMarius,letmestayherewithyoutwo。"
  "Isweartoyou,thatitisindispensablethatweshouldbealone。"
  "Well,amIanybody?"
  JeanValjeanhadnotutteredasingleword。Cosetteturnedtohim:
  "Inthefirstplace,father,Iwantyoutocomeandembraceme。
  Whatdoyoumeanbynotsayinganythinginsteadoftakingmypart?whogavemesuchafatherasthat?Youmustperceivethatmyfamilylifeisveryunhappy。Myhusbandbeatsme。Come,embracemeinstantly。"
  JeanValjeanapproached。
  CosetteturnedtowardMarius。
  "Asforyou,Ishallmakeafaceatyou。"
  ThenshepresentedherbrowtoJeanValjean。
  JeanValjeanadvancedasteptowardher。
  Cosetterecoiled。
  "Father,youarepale。Doesyourarmhurtyou?"
  "Itiswell,"saidJeanValjean。
  "Didyousleepbadly?"
  "No。"
  "Areyousad?"
  "No。"
  "Embracemeifyouarewell,ifyousleepwell,ifyouarecontent,Iwillnotscoldyou。"
  Andagainsheofferedhimherbrow。
  JeanValjeandroppedakissuponthatbrowwhereonrestedacelestialgleam。
  "Smile。"
  JeanValjeanobeyed。Itwasthesmileofaspectre。
  "Now,defendmeagainstmyhusband。"
  "Cosette!……"ejaculatedMarius。
  "Getangry,father。SaythatImuststay。Youcancertainlytalkbeforeme。Soyouthinkmeverysilly。Whatyousayisastonishing!business,placingmoneyinabankagreatmattertruly。
  Menmakemysteriesoutofnothing。Iamveryprettythismorning。
  Lookatme,Marius。"
  Andwithanadorableshrugoftheshoulders,andanindescribablyexquisitepout,sheglancedatMarius。
  "Iloveyou!"saidMarius。
  "Iadoreyou!"saidCosette。
  Andtheyfellirresistiblyintoeachother’sarms。
  "Now,"saidCosette,adjustingafoldofherdressing—gown,withatriumphantlittlegrimace,"Ishallstay。"
  "No,notthat,"saidMarius,inasupplicatingtone。"Wehavetofinishsomething。"
  "Stillno?"
  Mariusassumedagravetone:
  "Iassureyou,Cosette,thatitisimpossible。"
  "Ah!youputonyourman’svoice,sir。Thatiswell,Igo。
  You,father,havenotupheldme。Monsieurmyfather,monsieurmyhusband,youaretyrants。Ishallgoandtellgrandpapa。
  IfyouthinkthatIamgoingtoreturnandtalkplatitudestoyou,youaremistaken。Iamproud。Ishallwaitforyounow。
  Youshallsee,thatitisyouwhoaregoingtobeboredwithoutme。
  Iamgoing,itiswell。"
  Andshelefttheroom。
  Twosecondslater,thedooropenedoncemore,herfreshandrosyheadwasagainthrustbetweenthetwoleaves,andshecriedtothem:
  "Iamveryangryindeed。"
  Thedoorclosedagain,andtheshadowsdescendedoncemore。
  Itwasasthougharayofsunlightshouldhavesuddenlytraversedthenight,withoutitselfbeingconsciousofit。
  Mariusmadesurethatthedoorwassecurelyclosed。
  "PoorCosette!"hemurmured,"whenshefindsout……"
  AtthatwordJeanValjeantrembledineverylimb。HefixedonMariusabewilderedeye。
  "Cosette!ohyes,itistrue,youaregoingtotellCosetteaboutthis。
  Thatisright。Stay,Ihadnotthoughtofthat。Onehasthestrengthforonething,butnotforanother。Sir,Iconjureyou,Ientreatnow,sir,givemeyourmostsacredwordofhonor,thatyouwillnottellher。Isitnotenoughthatyoushouldknowit?
  Ihavebeenabletosayitmyselfwithoutbeingforcedtoit,Icouldhavetoldittotheuniverse,tothewholeworld,——itwasallonetome。Butshe,shedoesnotknowwhatitis,itwouldterrifyher。What,aconvict!weshouldbeobligedtoexplainmatterstoher,tosaytoher:`Heisamanwhohasbeeninthegalleys。’
  Shesawthechain—gangpassbyoneday。Oh!MyGod!"……Hedroppedintoanarm—chairandhidhisfaceinhishands。
  Hisgriefwasnotaudible,butfromthequiveringofhisshouldersitwasevidentthathewasweeping。Silenttears,terribletears。
  Thereissomethingofsuffocationinthesob。Hewasseizedwithasortofconvulsion,hethrewhimselfagainstthebackofthechairasthoughtogainbreath,lettinghisarmsfall,andallowingMariustoseehisfaceinundatedwithtears,andMariusheardhimmurmur,solowthathisvoiceseemedtoissuefromfathomlessdepths:
  "Oh!wouldthatIcoulddie!"
  "Beatyourease,"saidMarius,"Iwillkeepyoursecretformyselfalone。"xAnd,lesstouched,perhaps,thanheoughttohavebeen,butforced,forthelasthour,tofamiliarizehimselfwithsomethingasunexpectedasitwasdreadful,graduallybeholdingtheconvictsuperposedbeforehisveryeyes,uponM。Fauchelevent,overcome,littlebylittle,bythatlugubriousreality,andled,bythenaturalinclinationofthesituation,torecognizethespacewhichhadjustbeenplacedbetweenthatmanandhimself,Mariusadded:
  "ItisimpossiblethatIshouldnotspeakawordtoyouwithregardtothedepositwhichyouhavesofaithfullyandhonestlyremitted。
  Thatisanactofprobity。Itisjustthatsomerecompenseshouldbebestowedonyou。Fixthesumyourself,itshallbecountedouttoyou。
  Donotfeartosetitveryhigh。"
  "Ithankyou,sir,"repliedJeanValjean,gently。
  Heremainedinthoughtforamoment,mechanicallypassingthetipofhisfore—fingeracrosshisthumb—nail,thenhelifteduphisvoice:
  "Allisnearlyover。Butonelastthingremainsforme……"
  "Whatisit?"
  JeanValjeanstruggledwithwhatseemedalasthesitation,and,withoutvoice,withoutbreath,hestammeredratherthansaid:
  "Nowthatyouknow,doyouthink,sir,you,whoarethemaster,thatIoughtnottoseeCosetteanymore?"
  "Ithinkthatwouldbebetter,"repliedMariuscoldly。
  "Ishallneverseehermore,"murmuredJeanValjean。Andhedirectedhisstepstowardsthedoor。
  Helaidhishandontheknob,thelatchyielded,thedooropened。
  JeanValjeanpusheditopenfarenoughtopassthrough,stoodmotionlessforasecond,thenclosedthedooragainandturnedtoMarius。
  Hewasnolongerpale,hewaslivid。Therewerenolongeranytearsinhiseyes,butonlyasortoftragicflame。Hisvoicehadregainedastrangecomposure。
  "Stay,sir,"hesaid。"Ifyouwillallowit,Iwillcometoseeher。
  IassureyouthatIdesireitgreatly。IfIhadnotcaredtoseeCosette,IshouldnothavemadetoyoutheconfessionthatI
  havemade,Ishouldhavegoneaway;but,asIdesiredtoremainintheplacewhereCosetteis,andtocontinuetoseeher,Ihadtotellyouaboutithonestly。Youfollowmyreasoning,doyounot?itisamattereasilyunderstood。Yousee,Ihavehadherwithmeformorethannineyears。Welivedfirstinthathutontheboulevard,thenintheconvent,thenneartheLuxembourg。
  Thatwaswhereyousawherforthefirsttime。Yourememberherblueplushhat。ThenwewenttotheQuartierdesInvalides,wheretherewasarailingonagarden,theRuePlumet。Ilivedinalittlebackcourt—yard,whenceIcouldhearherpiano。
  Thatwasmylife。Weneverlefteachother。Thatlastedfornineyearsandsomemonths。Iwaslikeherownfather,andshewasmychild。Idonotknowwhetheryouunderstand,MonsieurPontmercy,buttogoawaynow,nevertoseeheragain,nevertospeaktoheragain,tonolongerhaveanything,wouldbehard。Ifyoudonotdisapproveofit,IwillcometoseeCosettefromtimetotime。
  Iwillnotcomeoften。Iwillnotremainlong。YoushallgiveordersthatIamtobereceivedinthelittlewaiting—room。Onthegroundfloor。Icouldenterperfectlywellbythebackdoor,butthatmightcreatesurpriseperhaps,anditwouldbebetter,Ithink,formetoenterbytheusualdoor。Truly,sir,IshouldliketoseealittlemoreofCosette。Asrarelyasyouplease。
  Putyourselfinmyplace,Ihavenothingleftbutthat。Andthen,wemustbecautious。IfInolongercomeatall,itwouldproduceabadeffect,itwouldbeconsideredsingular。WhatIcando,bytheway,istocomeintheafternoon,whennightisbeginningtofall。"
  "Youshallcomeeveryevening,"saidMarius,"andCosettewillbewaitingforyou。"
  "Youarekind,sir,"saidJeanValjean。
  MariussalutedJeanValjean,happinessescorteddespairtothedoor,andthesetwomenparted。
  CHAPTERII
  THEOBSCURITIESWHICHAREVELATIONCANCONTAIN
  Mariuswasquiteupset。
  ThesortofestrangementwhichhehadalwaysfelttowardsthemanbesidewhomhehadseenCosette,wasnowexplainedtohim。
  Therewassomethingenigmaticaboutthatperson,ofwhichhisinstincthadwarnedhim。
  Thisenigmawasthemosthideousofdisgraces,thegalleys。
  ThisM。FaucheleventwastheconvictJeanValjean。
  Toabruptlyfindsuchasecretinthemidstofone’shappinessresemblesthediscoveryofascorpioninanestofturtledoves。
  WasthehappinessofMariusandCosettethenceforthcondemnedtosuchaneighborhood?Wasthisanaccomplishedfact?Didtheacceptanceofthatmanformapartofthemarriagenowconsummated?
  Wastherenothingtobedone?
  HadMariusweddedtheconvictaswell?
  Invainmayonebecrownedwithlightandjoy,invainmayonetastethegrandpurplehouroflife,happylove,suchshockswouldforceeventhearchangelinhisecstasy,eventhedemigodinhisglory,toshudder。
  Asisalwaysthecaseinchangesofviewofthisnature,Mariusaskedhimselfwhetherhehadnothingwithwhichtoreproachhimself。
  Hadhebeenwantingindivination?Hadhebeenwantinginprudence?
  Hadheinvoluntarilydulledhiswits?Alittle,perhaps。Hadheentereduponthisloveaffair,whichhadendedinhismarriagetoCosette,withouttakingsufficientprecautionstothrowlightuponthesurroundings?Headmitted,——itisthus,byaseriesofsuccessiveadmissionsofourselvesinregardtoourselves,thatlifeamendsus,littlebylittle,——headmittedthechimericalandvisionarysideofhisnature,asortofinternalcloudpeculiartomanyorganizations,andwhich,inparoxysmsofpassionandsorrow,dilatesasthetemperatureofthesoulchanges,andinvadestheentireman,tosuchadegreeastorenderhimnothingmorethanaconsciencebathedinamist。WehavemorethanonceindicatedthischaracteristicelementofMarius’individuality。
  Herecalledthat,intheintoxicationofhislove,intheRuePlumet,duringthosesixorsevenecstaticweeks,hehadnotevenspoketoCosetteofthatdramaintheGorbeauhovel,wherethevictimhadtakenupsuchasingularlineofsilenceduringthestruggleandtheensuingflight。HowhadithappenedthathehadnotmentionedthistoCosette?Yetitwassonearandsoterrible!
  HowhaditcometopassthathehadnotevennamedtheThenardiers,and,particularly,onthedaywhenhehadencounteredEponine?
  Henowfounditalmostdifficulttoexplainhissilenceofthattime。
  Nevertheless,hecouldaccountforit。Herecalledhisbenumbedstate,hisintoxicationwithCosette,loveabsorbingeverything,thatcatchingawayofeachotherintotheideal,andperhapsalso,liketheimperceptiblequantityofreasonmingledwiththisviolentandcharmingstateofthesoul,avague,dullinstinctimpellinghimtoconcealandabolishinhismemorythatredoubtableadventure,contactwithwhichhedreaded,inwhichhedidnotwishtoplayanypart,hisagencyinwhichhehadkeptsecret,andinwhichhecouldbeneithernarratornorwitnesswithoutbeinganaccuser。
  Moreover,thesefewweekshadbeenaflashoflightning;therehadbeennotimeforanythingexceptlove。
  Inshort,havingweighedeverything,turnedeverythingoverinhismind,examinedeverything,whatevermighthavebeentheconsequencesifhehadtoldCosetteabouttheGorbeauambush,evenifhehaddiscoveredthatJeanValjeanwasaconvict,wouldthathavechangedhim,Marius?
  Wouldthathavechangedher,Cosette?Wouldhehavedrawnback?
  Wouldhehaveadoredheranytheless?Wouldhehaverefrainedfrommarryingher?No。Thentherewasnothingtoregret,nothingwithwhichheneedreproachhimself。Allwaswell。
  Thereisadeityforthosedrunkenmenwhoarecalledlovers。
  Mariusblind,hadfollowedthepathwhichhewouldhavechosenhadhebeeninfullpossessionofhissight。Lovehadbandagedhiseyes,inordertoleadhimwhither?Toparadise。
  Butthisparadisewashenceforthcomplicatedwithaninfernalaccompaniment。
  Marius’ancientestrangementtowardsthisman,towardsthisFaucheleventwhohadturnedintoJeanValjean,wasatpresentmingledwithhorror。
  Inthishorror,letusstate,therewassomepity,andevenacertainsurprise。
  Thisthief,thisthiefguiltyofasecondoffence,hadrestoredthatdeposit。Andwhatadeposit!Sixhundredthousandfrancs。
  Healonewasinthesecretofthatdeposit。Hemighthavekeptitall,hehadrestoreditall。
  Moreover,hehadhimselfrevealedhissituation。Nothingforcedhimtothis。Ifanyonelearnedwhohewas,itwasthroughhimself。
  Inthisavowaltherewassomethingmorethanacceptanceofhumiliation,therewasacceptanceofperil。Foracondemnedman,amaskisnotamask,itisashelter。Afalsenameissecurity,andhehadrejectedthatfalsename。He,thegalley—slave,mighthavehiddenhimselfforeverinanhonestfamily;hehadwithstoodthistemptation。
  Andwithwhatmotive?Throughaconscientiousscruple。
  Hehimselfexplainedthiswiththeirresistibleaccentsoftruth。
  Inshort,whateverthisJeanValjeanmightbe,hewas,undoubtedly,aconsciencewhichwasawakening。Thereexistedsomemysteriousre—habilitationwhichhadbegun;and,toallappearances,scrupleshadforalongtimealreadycontrolledthisman。Suchfitsofjusticeandgoodnessarenotcharacteristicofvulgarnatures。
  Anawakeningofconscienceisgrandeurofsoul。
  JeanValjeanwassincere。Thissincerity,visible,palpable,irrefragable,evidentfromtheverygriefthatitcausedhim,renderedinquiriesuseless,andconferredauthorityonallthatthatmanhadsaid。
  Here,forMarius,therewasastrangereversalofsituations。
  WhatbreathedfromM。Fauchelevent?distrust。WhatdidJeanValjeaninspire?confidence。
  InthemysteriousbalanceofthisJeanValjeanwhichthepensiveMariusstruck,headmittedtheactiveprinciple,headmittedthepassiveprinciple,andhetriedtoreachabalance。
  Butallthiswentonasinastorm。Marius,whileendeavoringtoformaclearideaofthisman,andwhilepursuingJeanValjean,sotospeak,inthedepthsofhisthought,losthimandfoundhimagaininafatalmist。
  Thedeposithonestlyrestored,theprobityoftheconfession——
  theseweregood。Thisproducedalighteningofthecloud,thenthecloudbecameblackoncemore。
  TroubledaswereMarius’memories,ashadowofthemreturnedtohim。
  Afterall,whatwasthatadventureintheJondretteattic?
  Whyhadthatmantakentoflightonthearrivalofthepolice,insteadofenteringacomplaint?
  HereMariusfoundtheanswer。Becausethatmanwasafugitivefromjustice,whohadbrokenhisban。
  Anotherquestion:Whyhadthatmancometothebarricade?
  ForMariusnowoncemoredistinctlybeheldthatrecollectionwhichhadre—appearedinhisemotionslikesympatheticinkattheapplicationofheat。Thismanhadbeeninthebarricade。
  Hehadnotfoughtthere。Whathadhecometherefor?Inthepresenceofthisquestionaspectresprangupandreplied:"Javert。"
  MariusrecalledperfectlynowthatfunerealsightofJeanValjeandraggingthepinionedJavertoutofthebarricade,andhestillheardbehindthecornerofthelittleRueMondetourthatfrightfulpistolshot。Obviously,therewashatredbetweenthatpolicespyandthegalley—slave。Theonewasintheother’sway。JeanValjeanhadgonetothebarricadeforthepurposeofrevenginghimself。
  Hehadarrivedlate。HeprobablyknewthatJavertwasaprisonerthere。