blanktocrossthewater。Thisrevolt，whichcameverysuddenly，andonthelastday，soalarmedMr。Sedley，junior，thathewasonthepointofgivinguptheexpedition，butCaptainDobbinwhomadehimselfimmenselyofficiousinthebusiness，Jossaid，ratedhimandlaughedathimsoundly：themustachiosweregrowninadvance，andJosfinallywaspersuadedtoembark。Inplaceofthewell-bredandwell-fedLondondomestics，whocouldonlyspeakEnglish，DobbinprocuredforJos’spartyaswarthylittleBelgianservantwhocouldspeaknolanguageatall；butwho，byhisbustlingbehaviour，andbyinvariablyaddressingMr。Sedleyas“Mylord。”
　　speedilyacquiredthatgentleman’sfavour。TimesarealteredatOstendnow；oftheBritonswhogothither，veryfewlooklikelords，oractlikethosemembersofourhereditaryaristocracy。Theyseemforthemostpartshabbyinattire，dingyoflinen，loversofbilliardsandbrandy，andcigarsandgreasyordinaries。
　　Butitmaybesaidasarule，thateveryEnglishmanintheDukeofWellington’sarmypaidhisway。Theremembranceofsuchafactsurelybecomesanationofshopkeepers。Itwasablessingforacommerce-lovingcountrytobeoverrunbysuchanarmyofcustomers：
　　andtohavesuchcreditablewarriorstofeed。Andthecountrywhichtheycametoprotectisnotmilitary。Foralongperiodofhistorytheyhaveletotherpeoplefightthere。WhenthepresentwriterwenttosurveywitheagleglancethefieldofWaterloo，weaskedtheconductorofthediligence，aportlywarlike-lookingveteran，whetherhehadbeenatthebattle。”Passibete“——suchananswerandsentimentasnoFrenchmanwouldownto——
　　washisreply。But，ontheotherhand，thepostilionwhodroveuswasaViscount，asonofsomebankruptImperialGeneral，whoacceptedapennyworthofbeerontheroad。Themoralissurelyagoodone。
　　Thisflat，flourishing，easycountrynevercouldhavelookedmorerichandprosperousthaninthatopeningsummerof1815，whenitsgreenfieldsandquietcitieswereenlivenedbymultipliedred-coats：whenitswidechausseesswarmedwithbrilliantEnglishequipages：
　　whenitsgreatcanal-boats，glidingbyrichpasturesandpleasantquaintoldvillages，byoldchateauxlyingamongstoldtrees，wereallcrowdedwithwell-to-doEnglishtravellers：whenthesoldierwhodrankatthevillageinn，notonlydrank，butpaidhisscore；andDonald，theHighlander，billetedintheFlemishfarm-house，rockedthebaby’scradle，whileJeanandJeannettewereoutgettinginthehay。Asourpaintersarebentonmilitarysubjectsjustnow，Ithrowoutthisasagoodsubjectforthepencil，toillustratetheprincipleofanhonestEnglishwar。AlllookedasbrilliantandharmlessasaHydeParkreview。Meanwhile，Napoleonscreenedbehindhiscurtainoffrontier-fortresses，waspreparingfortheoutbreakwhichwastodrivealltheseorderlypeopleintofuryandblood；andlaysomanyofthemlow。
　　EverybodyhadsuchaperfectfeelingofconfidenceintheleaderfortheresolutefaithwhichtheDukeofWellingtonhadinspiredinthewholeEnglishnationwasasintenseasthatmorefranticenthusiasmwithwhichatonetimetheFrenchregardedNapoleon，thecountryseemedinsoperfectastateoforderlydefence，andthehelpathandincaseofneedsonearandoverwhelming，thatalarmwasunknown，andourtravellers，amongwhomtwowerenaturallyofaverytimidsort，were，likealltheothermultipliedEnglishtourists，entirelyatease。Thefamousregiment，withsomanyofwhoseofficerswehavemadeacquaintance，wasdraftedincanalboatstoBrugesandGhent，thencetomarchtoBrussels。
　　Josaccompaniedtheladiesinthepublicboats；thewhichalloldtravellersinFlandersmustrememberfortheluxuryandaccommodationtheyafforded。Soprodigiouslygoodwastheeatinganddrinkingonboardthesesluggishbutmostcomfortablevessels，thattherearelegendsextantofanEnglishtraveller，who，comingtoBelgiumforaweek，andtravellinginoneoftheseboats，wassodelightedwiththefaretherethathewentbackwardsandforwardsfromGhenttoBrugesperpetuallyuntiltherailroadswereinvented，whenhedrownedhimselfonthelasttripofthepassage-boat。Jos’sdeathwasnottobeofthissort，buthiscomfortwasexceeding，andMrs。
　　O’DowdinsistedthatheonlywantedhersisterGlorvinatomakehishappinesscomplete。HesateontheroofofthecabinalldaydrinkingFlemishbeer，shoutingforIsidor，hisservant，andtalkinggallantlytotheladies。
　　Hiscouragewasprodigious。”Boneyattackus！”hecried。”Mydearcreature，mypoorEmmy，don’tbefrightened。There’snodanger。TheallieswillbeinParisintwomonths，Itellyou；whenI’lltakeyoutodineinthePalaisRoyal，byJove！TherearethreehundredthousandRooshians，Itellyou，nowenteringFrancebyMayenceandtheRhine——threehundredthousandunderWittgensteinandBarclaydeTolly，mypoorlove。Youdon’tknowmilitaryaffairs，mydear。Ido，andItellyouthere’snoinfantryinFrancecanstandagainstRooshianinfantry，andnogeneralofBoney’sthat’sfittoholdacandletoWittgenstein。ThentherearetheAustrians，theyarefivehundredthousandifaman，andtheyarewithintenmarchesofthefrontierbythistime，underSchwartzenbergandPrinceCharles。ThentherearetheProoshiansunderthegallantPrinceMarshal。ShowmeacavalrychieflikehimnowthatMuratisgone。
　　Hey，Mrs。O’Dowd？Doyouthinkourlittlegirlhereneedbeafraid？Isthereanycauseforfear，Isidor？Hey，sir？Getsomemorebeer。”
　　Mrs。O’Dowdsaidthather“Glorvinawasnotafraidofanymanalive，letaloneaFrenchman。”andtossedoffaglassofbeerwithawinkwhichexpressedherlikingforthebeverage。
　　Havingfrequentlybeeninpresenceoftheenemy，or，inotherwords，facedtheladiesatCheltenhamandBath，ourfriend，theCollector，hadlostagreatdealofhispristinetimidity，andwasnow，especiallywhenfortifiedwithliquor，astalkativeasmightbe。Hewasratherafavouritewiththeregiment，treatingtheyoungofficerswithsumptuosity，andamusingthembyhismilitaryairs。
　　Andasthereisonewell-knownregimentofthearmywhichtravelswithagoatheadingthecolumn，whilstanotherisledbyadeer，Georgesaidwithrespecttohisbrother-in-law，thathisregimentmarchedwithanelephant。
　　SinceAmelia’sintroductiontotheregiment，Georgebegantoberatherashamedofsomeofthecompanytowhichhehadbeenforcedtopresenther；anddetermined，ashetoldDobbinwithwhatsatisfactiontothelatteritneednotbesaid，toexchangeintosomebetterregimentsoon，andtogethiswifeawayfromthosedamnedvulgarwomen。Butthisvulgarityofbeingashamedofone’ssocietyismuchmorecommonamongmenthanwomenexceptverygreatladiesoffashion，who，tobesure，indulgeinit；andMrs。Amelia，anaturalandunaffectedperson，hadnoneofthatartificialshamefacednesswhichherhusbandmistookfordelicacyonhisownpart。ThusMrs。O’Dowdhadacock’splumeinherhat，andaverylarge“repayther“onherstomach，whichsheusedtoringonalloccasions，narratinghowithadbeenpresentedtoherbyherfawther，asshestiptintothecar’geafterhermar’ge；andtheseornaments，withotheroutwardpeculiaritiesoftheMajor’swife，gaveexcruciatingagoniestoCaptainOsborne，whenhiswifeandtheMajor’scameincontact；whereasAmeliawasonlyamusedbythehonestlady’seccentricities，andnotintheleastashamedofhercompany。
　　Astheymadethatwell-knownjourney，whichalmosteveryEnglishmanofmiddlerankhastravelledsince，theremighthavebeenmoreinstructive，butfewmoreentertaining，companionsthanMrs。MajorO’Dowd。”Talkaboutkenalboats；mydear！YeshouldseethekenalboatsbetweenDublinandBallinasloe。It’stheretherapidtravellingis；andthebeautifulcattle。SuremefawthergotagooldmedalandhisExcellencyhimselfeatasliceofit，andsaidneverwasfinermateinhisloifforafour-year-oldheifer，thelikeofwhichyeneversawinthiscountryanyday。”AndJosownedwithasigh，“thatforgoodstreakybeef，reallymingledwithfatandlean，therewasnocountrylikeEngland。”
　　“ExceptIreland，whereallyourbestmatecomesfrom。”
　　saidtheMajor’slady；proceeding，asisnotunusualwithpatriotsofhernation，tomakecomparisonsgreatlyinfavourofherowncountry。TheideaofcomparingthemarketatBrugeswiththoseofDublin，althoughshehadsuggesteditherself，causedimmensescornandderisiononherpart。”I’llthankyetellmewhattheymeanbythatoldgazaboonthetopofthemarket-place。”saidshe，inaburstofridiculefittohavebroughttheoldtowerdown。TheplacewasfullofEnglishsoldieryastheypassed。Englishbugleswoketheminthemorning；
　　atnightfalltheywenttobedtothenoteoftheBritishfifeanddrum：allthecountryandEuropewasinarms，andthegreatesteventofhistorypending：andhonestPeggyO’Dowd，whomitconcernedaswellasanother，wentonprattlingaboutBallinafad，andthehorsesinthestablesatGlenmalony，andtheclar’tdrunkthere；andJosSedleyinterposedaboutcurryandriceatDumdum；
　　andAmeliathoughtaboutherhusband，andhowbestsheshouldshowherloveforhim；asifthesewerethegreattopicsoftheworld。
　　ThosewholiketolaydowntheHistory-book，andtospeculateuponwhatMIGHThavehappenedintheworld，butforthefataloccurrenceofwhatactuallydidtakeplaceamostpuzzling，amusing，ingenious，andprofitablekindofmeditation，havenodoubtoftenthoughttothemselveswhataspeciallybadtimeNapoleontooktocomebackfromElba，andtoletloosehiseaglefromGulfSanJuantoNotreDame。Thehistoriansonoursidetellusthatthearmiesofthealliedpowerswereallprovidentiallyonawar-footing，andreadytobeardownatamoment’snoticeupontheElbanEmperor。
　　TheaugustjobbersassembledatVienna，andcarvingoutthekingdomsofEuropeaccordingtotheirwisdom，hadsuchcausesofquarrelamongthemselvesasmighthavesetthearmieswhichhadovercomeNapoleontofightagainsteachother，butforthereturnoftheobjectofunanimoushatredandfear。ThismonarchhadanarmyinfullforcebecausehehadjobbedtohimselfPoland，andwasdeterminedtokeepit：anotherhadrobbedhalfSaxony，andwasbentuponmaintaininghisacquisition：
　　Italywastheobjectofathird’ssolicitude。Eachwasprotestingagainsttherapacityoftheother；andcouldtheCorsicanbuthavewaitedinprisonuntilallthesepartieswerebytheears，hemighthavereturnedandreignedunmolested。Butwhatwouldhavebecomeofourstoryandallourfriends，then？Ifallthedropsinitweredriedup，whatwouldbecomeofthesea？
　　Inthemeanwhilethebusinessoflifeandliving，andthepursuitsofpleasure，especially，wentonasifnoendweretobeexpectedtothem，andnoenemyinfront。
　　WhenourtravellersarrivedatBrussels，inwhichtheirregimentwasquartered，agreatpieceofgoodfortune，asallsaid，theyfoundthemselvesinoneofthegayestandmostbrilliantlittlecapitalsinEurope，andwherealltheVanityFairboothswerelaidoutwiththemosttemptinglivelinessandsplendour。Gamblingwashereinprofusion，anddancinginplenty：feastingwastheretofillwithdelightthatgreatgourmandofaJos：therewasatheatrewhereamiraculousCatalaniwasdelightingallhearers：beautifulrides，allenlivenedwithmartialsplendour；arareoldcity，withstrangecostumesandwonderfularchitecture，todelighttheeyesoflittleAmelia，whohadneverbeforeseenaforeigncountry，andfillherwithcharmingsurprises：sothatnowandforafewweeks’spaceinafinehandsomelodging，whereoftheexpenseswerebornebyJosandOsborne，whowasflushofmoneyandfullofkindattentionstohiswife——foraboutafortnight，Isay，duringwhichherhoneymoonended，Mrs。AmeliawasaspleasedandhappyasanylittlebrideoutofEngland。
　　Everydayduringthishappytimetherewasnoveltyandamusementforallparties。Therewasachurchtosee，orapicture-gallery——therewasaride，oranopera。
　　Thebandsoftheregimentsweremakingmusicatallhours。ThegreatestfolksofEnglandwalkedinthePark——therewasaperpetualmilitaryfestival。George，takingouthiswifetoanewjauntorjunketeverynight，wasquitepleasedwithhimselfasusual，andsworehewasbecomingquiteadomesticcharacter。AndajauntorajunketwithHIM！Wasitnotenoughtosetthislittleheartbeatingwithjoy？Herlettershometohermotherwerefilledwithdelightandgratitudeatthisseason。Herhusbandbadeherbuylaces，millinery，jewels，andgimcracksofallsorts。Oh，hewasthekindest，best，andmostgenerousofmen！
　　Thesightoftheverygreatcompanyoflordsandladiesandfashionablepersonswhothrongedthetown，andappearedineverypublicplace，filledGeorge’strulyBritishsoulwithintensedelight。Theyflungoffthathappyfrigidityandinsolenceofdemeanourwhichoccasionallycharacterisesthegreatathome，andappearinginnumberlesspublicplaces，condescendedtominglewiththerestofthecompanywhomtheymetthere。OnenightatapartygivenbythegeneralofthedivisiontowhichGeorge’sregimentbelonged，hehadthehonourofdancingwithLadyBlancheThistlewood，LordBareacres’
　　daughter；hebustledforicesandrefreshmentsforthetwonobleladies；hepushedandsqueezedforLadyBareacres’carriage；hebraggedabouttheCountesswhenhegothome，inawaywhichhisownfathercouldnothavesurpassed。Hecalledupontheladiesthenextday；
　　herodebytheirsideinthePark；heaskedtheirpartytoagreatdinneratarestaurateur’s，andwasquitewildwithexultationwhentheyagreedtocome。OldBareacres，whohadnotmuchprideandalargeappetite，wouldgoforadinneranywhere。
　　“I。hopetherewillbenowomenbesidesourownparty。”LadyBareacressaid，afterreflectingupontheinvitationwhichhadbeenmade，andacceptedwithtoomuchprecipitancy。
　　“GraciousHeaven，Mamma——youdon’tsupposethemanwouldbringhiswife。”shriekedLadyBlanche，whohadbeenlanguishinginGeorge’sarmsinthenewlyimportedwaltzforhoursthenightbefore。”Themenarebearable，buttheirwomen——“