BLOOMWinksatthebystanders。Ibetshe’sabonnylassie。
　　THEODOREPUREFOYInfishingcapandoilskinjacket。Heemploysamechanicaldevicetofrustratethesacredendsofnature。
　　THEVEILEDSIBYLStabsherself。Myherogod！Shedies。
　　Manymostattractiveandenthusiasticwomenalsocommitsuicidebystabbing，drowning，drinkingprussicacid，aconite，arsenic，openingtheirveins，refusingfood，castingthemselvesundersteamrollers，fromthetopofNelson’sPillar，intothegreatvatofGuinness’sbrewery，asphyxiatingthemselvesbyplacingtheirheadsingasovens，hangingthemselvesinstylishgarters，leapingfromwindowsofdifferentstoreys。
　　ALEXANDERJ。DOWIEViolently。FellowchristiansandantiBloomites，themancalledBloomisfromtherootsofhell，adisgracetochristianmen。AfiendishlibertinefromhisearliestyearsthisstinkinggoatofMendesgaveprecocioussignsofinfantiledebaucheryrecallingthecitiesoftheplain，withadissolutegranddam。Thisvilehypocrite，bronzedwithinfamy，isthewhitebullmentionedintheApocalypse。AworshipperoftheScarletWoman，intrigueistheverybreathofhisnostrils。Thestakefaggotsandthecaldronofboilingoilareforhim。Caliban！
　　THEMOBLynchhim！Roasthim！He’sasbadasParnellwas。MrFox！
　　MotherGroganthrowsherbootatBloom。SeveralshopkeepersfromupperandlowerDorsetstreetthrowobjectsoflittleornocommercialvalue，hambones，condensedmilktins，unsaleablecabbage，stalebread，sheeps’tails，oddpiecesoffat。
　　BLOOMExcitedly。Thisismidsummermadness，someghastlyjokeagain。Byheaven，Iamguiltlessastheunsunnedsnow！ItwasmybrotherHenry。Heismydouble。Helivesinnumber2Dolphin’sBarn。Slander，theviper，haswrongfullyaccusedme。Fellowcountrymen，sgenlinnbanbatacoisdegancapall。Icallonmyoldfriend，DrMalachiMulligan，sexspecialisttogivemedicaltestimonyonmybehalf。
　　DRMULLIGANInmotorjerkin，greenmotorogglesonhisbrow。
　　DrBloomisbisexuallyabnormal。HehasrecentlyescapedfromDrEustace’sprivateasylumfordementedgentlemen。Bornoutofbedlockhereditaryepilepsyispresent，theconsequenceofunbridledlust。Tracesofelephantiasishavebeendiscoveredamonghisascendants。Therearemarkedsymptomsofchronicexhibitionism。Ambidexterityisalsolatent。Heisprematurelybaldfromselfabuse，perverselyidealisticinconsequence，areformedrake，andhasmetalteeth。InconsequenceofafamilycomplexhehastemporarilylosthismemoryandIbelievehimtobemoresinnedagainstthansinning。
　　Ihavemadeapervaginalexaminationand，afterapplicationoftheacidtestto5427anal，axillary，pectoralandpubichairs，Ideclarehimtobevirgointacta。
　　Bloomholdshishighgradehatoverhisgenitalorgans。
　　DRMADDENHypsospadiaisalsomarked。IntheinterestofcominggenerationsIsuggestthatthepartsaffectedshouldbepreservedinspiritsofwineinthenationalteratologicalmuseum。
　　DRCROTTHERSIhaveexaminedthepatient’surine。Itisalbuminoid。
　　Salivationisinsufficient，thepatellarreflexintermittent。
　　DRPUNCHCOSTELLOThefetorjudaicusismostperceptible。
　　DRDIXONReadsabillofhealth。ProfessorBloomisafinishedexampleofthenewwomanlyman。Hismoralnatureissimpleandlovable。
　　Manyhavefoundhimadearman，adearperson。Heisaratherquaintfellowonthewhole，coythoughnotfeeble-mindedinthemedicalsense。Hehaswrittenareallybeautifulletter，apoeminitself，tothecourtmissionaryoftheReformedPriests’ProtectionSocietywhichclearsupeverything。
　　HeispracticallyatotalabstainerandIcanaffirmthathesleepsonastrawlitterandeatsthemostSpartanfood，colddriedgrocer’speas。
　　HewearsahairshirtwinterandsummerandscourgeshimselfeverySaturday。
　　Hewas，Iunderstand，atonetimeafirstclassmisdemeanantinGlencreereformatory。Anotherreportstatesthathewasaveryposthumouschild。
　　Iappealforclemencyinthenameofthemostsacredwordourvocalorganshaveeverbeencalledupontospeak。Heisabouttohaveababy。
　　Generalcommotionandcompassion。Womenfaint。AwealthyAmericanmakesastreetcollectionforBloom。Goldandsilvercoins，bankcheques，banknotes，jewels，treasurybonds，maturingbillsofexchange，I。O。U。s，weddingrings’watch-chains，lockets，necklacesandbraceletsarerapidlycollected。
　　BLOOMO，Isowanttobeamother。
　　MRSTHORNTONInnursetender’sgown。Embracemetight，dear。
　　You’llbesoonoverit。Tight，dear。
　　Bloomembraceshertightlyandbearseightmaleyellowandwhitechildren。Theyappearonaredcarpetedstaircaseadornedwithexpensiveplants。Allarehandsome，withvaluablemetallicfaces，wellmade，respectablydressedandwellconducted，speakingfivemodernlanguagesfluentlyandinterestedinvariousartsandsciences。Eachhashisnameprintedinlegiblelettersonhisshirtfront：Nasodoro，Goldfinger，Chrysostomos，Maindoré；e，Silversmile，SilberselberVifargent，Panargros。Theyareimmediatelyappointedtopositionsofhighpublictrustinseveraldifferentcountriesasmanagingdirectorsofbanks，trafficmanagersofrailways，chairmenoflimitedliabilitycompanies，vicechairmenofhotelsyndicates。
　　AVOICEBloom，areyoutheMessiahbenJosephorbenDavid？
　　BLOOMDarkly。Youhavesaidit。
　　BROTHERBUZZThenperformamiracle。
　　BANTAMLYONSProphesywhowillwintheSaintLeger。
　　Bloomwalksonanet，covershislefteyewithhisleftear，passesthroughseveralwalls，climbsNelson’sPillar，hangsfromthetheledgebyhiseyelids，eatstwelvedozenoystersshellsincluded，healsseveralsufferersfromkingsevil，contractshisfacesoastoresemblemanyhistoricalpersonages，lordBeaconsfield，lordByron，WatTyler，MosesofEgypt，MosesMaimonides，MosesMendelssohn，HenryIrving，RipvanWinkle，Rossuth，JeanJacquesRousseau，BaronLeopoldRothschild，RobinsonCrusoe，SherlockHolmes，Pasteur，turnseachfootsimultaneouslyindifferentdirections，bidsthetideturnback，eclipsesthesunbyextendinghislittlefinger。
　　BRINI，PAPALNUNCIOInpapalzouave’suniform，steelcuirassesasbreastplate，armplates，thighplates，legplates，largeprofanemoustachesandbrownpapermitre。Leopoldiautemgeneratio。MosesbegatNoahandNoahbegatEunuchandEunuchbegatO’HalloranandO’HalloranbegatGuggenheimandGuggenheimbegatAgendathandAgendathbegatNetaimandNetaimbegatLeHirschandLeHirschbegatJesurumandJesurumbegatMacKayandMacKaybegatOstrolopskyandOstrolopskybegatSmerdozandSmerdozbegatWeissandWeissbegatSchwarzandSchwarzbegatAdrianopoliandAdrianopolibeganAranjuezandAranjuezbegatLewyLawsonandLewyLawsonbegatIchabudonosorandIchabudonosorbegatO’DonnellMagnusandO’DonnellMagnusbegatChristbaumandChristbaumbegatBenMaimunandBenMaimunbegatDustyRhodesandDustyRhodesbegatBenamorandBenamorbegatJones-SmithandJones-SmithbegatSavorgnanovichandSavorgnanovichbegatJasperstoneandJasperstonebegatVingtetuniemeandVingtetuniemebegatSzombathelyandSzombathelybegatViragandViragbegatBloometvocabiturnomeneiusEmmanuel。
　　ADEADHANDWritesonthewall。Bloomisacod。ACRABInbushranger’skit。WhatdidyoudointhecattlecreepbehindKilbarrack？
　　AFEMALEINFANTShakesarattle。AndunderBallyboughbridge？
　　AHOLLYBUSHAndinthedevil’sglen？
　　BLOOMBlushesfuriouslyalloverfromfronttonates，threetearsfallingfromhislefteye。Sparemypast。
　　THEIRISHEVICTEDTENANTSInbodycoats，kneebreeches，withDonnybrookfairshillelaghs。Sjambokhim！
　　Bloomwithasses’earsseatshimselfinthepillorywithcrossedarms，hisfeetprotruding。HewhistlesDonGiovanni，acenarteco。Artaneorphans，joininghands，caperroundhim。GirlsofthePrisonGateMission，joininghands，caperroundintheoppositedirection。
　　THEARTANEORPHANSYoubig，youbog，youdirtydog！
　　Youthinktheladiesloveyou！THEPRISONGATEGIRLSIfyouseekayTellhimhemaySeeyouinteaTellhimfromme。HORNBLOWERInephodandhuntingcap，announces。AndheshallcarrythesinsofthepeopletoAzazel，thespiritwhichisinthewilderness，andtoLilith，thenighthag。Andtheyshallstonehimanddefilehim，yea，allfromAgendathNetaimandfromMizraim，thelandofHam。
　　AllthepeoplecastsoftpantomimestonesatBloom。Manybonafidetravellersandownerlessdogscomenearhimanddefilehim。MastianskyandCitronapproachingaberdines，wearinglongearlocks。TheywagtheirbeardsatBloom。
　　MASTIANSKYANDCITRONBelial！LaemleinofIstria！thefalseMessiah！
　　Abulafia！
　　GeorgeS。Mesias，Bloom’stailor，appears，atailor’sgooseunderhisarm，presentingabill。
　　MESIASToalterationonepairtrouserselevenshillings。
　　BLOOMRubshishandscheerfully。Justlikeoldtimes。PoorBloom！
　　ReubenJ。Dodd，blackbeardedIscariot，badshepherd，bearingonhisshouldersthedrownedcorpseofhisson，approachesthepillory。
　　REUBENJ。Whispershoarsely。Thesqueakisout。Asplitisgonefortheflatties。Nipthefirstrattler。
　　THEFIREBRIGADEPflaap！
　　BROTHERBUZZInvestsBloominayellowhabitwithembroideryofpaintedflamesandhighpointedhat。Heplacesabagofgunpowderroundhisneckandhandshimovertothecivilpower，saying。Forgivehimhistrespasses。
　　LieutenantMyersoftheDublinFireBrigadebygeneralrequestsetsfiretoBloom。Lamentations。
　　THECITIZENThankheaven！
　　BLOOMInaseamlessgarmentmarkedI。H。S。standsuprightamidphoenixflames。Weepnotforme，OdaughtersofErin。
　　HeexhibitstoDublinreporterstracesofburning。ThedaughtersofErin，inblackgarmentswithlaceprayerbooksandlonglightedcandlesintheirhands，kneeldownandpray。
　　THEDAUGHTERSOFERINKidneyofBloom，prayforus。FloweroftheBath，prayforus。MentorofMenton，prayforus。CanvasserfortheFreeman，prayforus。CharitableMason，prayforus。WanderingSoap，prayforus。
　　SweetsofSin，prayforus。MusicwithoutWords，prayforus。ReproveroftheCitizen，prayforus。FriendofallFrillies，prayforus。MidwifeMostMerciful，prayforus。PotatoPreservativeagainstPlagueandPestilence，prayforus。
　　Achoirofsixhundredvoices，conductedbyMrVincentO’Brien，singstheAlleluiachorus，accompaniedontheorganbyJosephGlynn。Bloombecomesmute，shrunken，carbonised。
　　ZOETalkawaytillyou’reblackintheface。
　　BLOOMIncaubeenwithclaypipestuckintheband，dustybrogues，anemigrant’sredhandkerchiefbundleinhishand，leadingablackbogoakpigbyasugaun，withasmileinhiseye。Letmebegoingnow，womanofthehouse，forbyallthegoatsinConnemaraI’mafterhavingthefatherandmotherofabating。Withatearinhiseye。Allinsanity。
　　Patriotism，sorrowforthedead，music，futureoftherace。Tobeornottobe。Life’sdreamiso’er。Enditpeacefully。Theycanliveon。Hegazesfarawaymournfully。Iamruined。Afewpastillesofaconite。
　　Theblindsdrawn。Aletter。Thenliebacktorest。Hebreathessoftly。
　　Nomore。Ihavelived。Fare。Farewell。
　　ZOEStiffly，herfingerinherneckfillet。Honest？Tillthenexttime。Shesneers。Supposeyougotupthewrongsideofthebedorcametooquickwithyourbestgirl。O，Icanreadyourthoughts。
　　BLOOMBitterly。Manandwoman，love，whatisit？Acorkandbottle。
　　ZOEInsuddensulks。Ihatearotterthat’sinsincere。Giveableedingwhoreachance。
　　BLOOMRepentantly。Iamverydisagreeable。Youareanecessaryevil。Whereareyoufrom？London？
　　ZOEGlibly。Hog’sNortonwherethepigsplaytheorgans。I’mYorkshireborn。Sheholdshishandwhichisfeelingforhernipple。
　　Isay，TommyTittlemouse。Stopthatandbeginworse。Haveyoucashforashorttime？Tenshillings？
　　BLOOMSmiles，nodsslowly。More，houri，more。
　　ZOEAndmore’smother？Shepatshimoffhandedlywithvelvetpaws。
　　Areyoucomingintothemusicroomtoseeournewpianola？ComeandI’llpeeloff。
　　BLOOMFeelinghisocciputdubiouslywiththeunparalleledembarrassmentofaharassedpedlargaugingthesymmetryofherpeeledpears。Somebodywouldbedreadfullyjealousifsheknew。Thegreeneyedmonster。Earnestly。
　　Youknowhowdifficultitis。Ineedn’ttellyou。
　　ZOEFlattered。Whattheeyecan’tseetheheartcan’tgrievefor。Shepatshim。Come。
　　BLOOMLaughingwitch！Thehandthatrocksthecradle。
　　ZOEBabby！