ThemuchtreasuredandintricatelyembroideredancientIrishfaceclothattributedtoSolomonofDromaandManusTomaltachogMacDonogh，authorsoftheBookofBallymote，wasthencarefullyproducedandcalledforthprolongedadmiration。Noneedtodwellonthelegendarybeautyofthecornerpieces，theacmeofart，whereinonecandistinctlydiscerneachofthefourevangelistsinturnpresentingtoeachofthefourmastershisevangelicalsymbolabogoaksceptre，8NorthAmericanpumaafarnoblerkingofbeaststhantheBritisharticle，beitsaidinpassing，aKerrycalfandagoldeneaglefromCarrantuohill。Thescenesdepictedontheemunctoryfield，showingourancientdunsandrathsandcromlechsandgrianaunsandseatsoflearningandmaledictivestones，areaswonderfullybeautifulandthepigmentsasdelicateaswhentheSligoilluminatorsgavefreereintotheirartisticfantasylonglongagointhetimeoftheBarmecides。Glendalough，thelovelylakesofKillarney，theruinsofClonmacnois，CongAbbey，GlenInaghandtheTwelvePins，Ireland’sEye，theGreenHillsofTallaght，CroaghPatrick，thebreweryofMessrsArthurGuinness，SonandCompanyLimited，LoughNeagh’sbanks，thevaleofOvoca，Isolde’stower，theMapasobelisk，SirPatrickDun’shospital，CapeClear，theglenofAherlow，Lynch’scastle，theScotchhouse，RathdownUnionWorkhouseatLoughlinstown，Tullamorejail，Castleconnelrapids，Kilballymacshonakill，thecrossatMonasterboice，Jury’sHotel，S。Patrick’sPurgatory，theSalmonLeap，Maynoothcollegerefectory，Curley’shole，thethreebirthplacesofthefirstdukeofWellington，therockofCashel，thebogofAllen，theHenryStreetWarehouse，Fingal’sCave-allthesemovingscenesarestillthereforustodayrenderedmorebeautifulstillbythewatersofsorrowwhichhavepassedoverthemandbytherichincrustationsoftime。Shoveusoverthedrink，saysI。
　　Whichiswhich？
　　That’smine，saysJoe，asthedevillaidtothedeadpoliceman。
　　AndIbelongtoaracetoo，saysBloom，thatishatedandpersecuted。
　　Alsonow。Thisverymoment。Thisveryinstant。
　　Gob，henearburnthisfingerswiththebuttofhisoldcigar。
　　Robbed，sayshe。Plundered。Insulted。Persecuted。Takingwhatbelongstousbyright。Atthisverymoment，sayshe，puttinguphisfist，soldbyauctionoffinMoroccolikeslavesorcattles。
　　AreyoutalkingaboutthenewJerusalem？saysthecitizen。
　　I’mtalkingaboutinjustice，saysBloom。
　　Right，saysJohnWyse。Standuptoitthenwithforcelikemen。
　　That’sanalmanacpictureforyou。Markforasoftnosedbullet。Oldlardyfacestandinguptothebusinessendofagun。Gob，he’dadornasweepingbrush，sohewould，ifheonlyhadanurse’saprononhim。Andthenhecollapsesallofasudden，twistingaroundalltheopposite，aslimpasawetrag。
　　Butit’snouse，sayshe。Force，hatred，history，allthat。That’snotlifeformenandwomen，insultandhatred。Andeverybodyknowsthatit’stheveryoppositeofthatthatisreallylife。
　　What？saysAlf。
　　Love，saysBloom。Imeantheoppositeofhatred。Imustgonow，sayshetoJohnWyse。JustroundtothecourtamomenttoseeifMartinisthere。
　　IfhecomesjustsayI’llbebackinasecond。Justamoment。
　　Who’shinderingyou？Andoffhepopslikegreasedlightning。
　　Anewapostletothegentiles，saysthecitizen。Universallove。
　　Well，saysJohnWyse，isn’tthatwhatwe’retold？Loveyourneighbours。
　　Thatchap？saysthecitizen。Beggarmyneighbourishismotto。Love，Moya！He’sanicepatternofaRomeoandJuliet。Lovelovestolovelove。
　　Nurselovesthenewchemist。Constable14AlovesMaryKelly。GertyMacDowelllovestheboythathasthebicycle。M。B。lovesafairgenteman。LiChiHanloveyupkissyChaPuChow。Jumbo，theelephant，lovesAlice，theelephant。
　　OldMrVerschoylewiththeeartrumpetlovesoldMrsVerschoylewiththeturnedineye。Themaninthebrownmacintoshlovesaladywhoisdead。
　　HisMajestytheKinglovesHerMajestytheQueen。MrsNormanW。TupperlovesofficerTaylor。Youloveacertainperson。AndthispersonlovesthatotherpersonbecauseeverybodylovessomebodybutGodloveseverybody。
　　Well，Joe，saysI，yourverygoodhealthandsong。Morepower，citizen。
　　Hurrah，there，saysJoe。
　　TheblessingofGodandMaryandPatrickonyou，saysthecitizen。
　　Andheupswithhispinttowethiswhistle。
　　Weknowthosecanters，sayshe，preachingandpickingyourpocket。
　　WhataboutsanctimoniousCromwellandhisironsidesthatputthewomenandchildrenofDroghedatotheswordwiththebibletextGodislovepastedroundthemouthofhiscannon？Thebible！DidyoureadthatskitintheUnitedIrishmantodayaboutthatZuluchiefthat’svisitingEngland？
　　What’sthat？saysJoe。
　　Sothecitizentakesuponeofhisparaphernaliapapersandhestartsreadingout：
　　AdelegationofthechiefcottonmagnatesofManchesterwaspresentedyesterdaytoHisMajestytheAlakiofAbeakutabyGoldStickinWaiting，LordWalkuponEggs，totendertoHisMajestytheheartfeltthanksofBritishtradersforthefacilitiesaffordedtheminhisdominions。Thedelegationpartookofluncheonattheconclusionofwhichtheduskypotentate，inthecourseofahappyspeech，freelytranslatedbytheBritishchaplain，thereverendAnaniasPraisegodBarebones，tenderedhisbestthankstoMassaWalkupandemphasisedthecordialrelationsexistingbetweenAbeakutaandtheBritishEmpire，statingthathetreasuredasoneofhisdearestpossessionsanilluminatedbible，thevolumeofthewordofGodandthesecretofEngland’sgreatness，graciouslypresentedtohimbythewhitechiefwoman，thegreatsquawVictoria，withapersonaldedicationfromtheaugusthandoftheRoyalDonor。TheAlakithendrankalovingcupoffirstshotusquebaughtothetoastBlackandWhitefromtheskullofhisimmediatepredecessorinthedynastyKakachakachak，surnamedFortyWarts，afterwhichhevisitedthechieffactoryofCottonopolisandsignedhismarkinthevisitors’
　　book，subsequentlyexecutinganoldAbeakuticwardance，inthecourseofwhichheswallowedseveralknivesandforks，amidhilariousapplausefromthegirlhands。
　　Widowwoman，saysNed，Iwouldn’tdoubther。WonderdidheputthatbibletothesameuseasIwould。
　　Sameonlymoreso，saysLenehan。Andthereafterinthatfruitfullandthebroadleavedmangoflourishedexceedingly。
　　IsthatbyGriffith？saysJohnWyse。
　　No，saysthecitizen。It’snotsignedShanganagh。It’sonlyinitialled：
　　P。
　　Andaverygoodinitialtoo，saysJoe。
　　That’showit’sworked，saysthecitizen。Tradefollowstheflag。
　　Well，saysJ。J。，ifthey’reanyworsethanthoseBelgiansintheCongoFreeStatetheymustbebad。Didyoureadthatreportbyamanwhat’sthishisnameis？
　　Casement，saysthecitizen。He’sanIrishman。
　　Yes，that’stheman，saysJ。J。Rapingthewomenandgirlsandfloggingthenativesonthebellytosqueezealltheredrubbertheycanoutofthem。
　　Iknowwherehe’sgone，saysLenehan，crackinghisfingers。
　　Who？saysI。
　　Bloom，sayshe，thecourthouseisablind。HehadafewbobonThrowawayandhe’sgonetogatherintheshekels。
　　Isitthatwhiteyedkaffir？saysthecitizen，thatneverbackedahorseinangerinhislife。
　　That’swherehe’sgone，saysLenehan。ImetBantamLyonsgoingtobackthathorseonlyIputhimoffitandhetoldmeBloomgavehimthetip。Betyouwhatyoulikehehasahundredshillingstofiveon。He’stheonlymaninDublinhasit。Adarkhorse。He’sabloodydarkhorsehimself，saysJoe。
　　Mind，Joe，saysI。Showustheentranceout。
　　Thereyouare，saysTerry。
　　GoodbyeIrelandI’mgoingtoGort。SoIjustwentroundtothebackoftheyardtopumpshipandbegobhundredshillingstofivewhileIwaslettingoffmyThrowawaytwentytolettingoffmyloadgobsaysItomyselfIknewhewasuneasyinhistwopintsoffofJoeandoneinSlattery’soffinhismindtogetoffthemarktohundredshillingsisfivequidandwhentheywereinthedarkhorsePisserBurkewastellingmecardpartyandlettingonthechildwassickgob，musthavedoneaboutagallonflabbyarseofawifespeakingdownthetubeshe’sbetterorshe’sow！allaplansohecouldvamoosewiththepoolifhewonorJesus，fullupIwastradingwithoutalicenceow！Irelandmynationsayshehoik！phthook！neverbeuptothosebloodythere’sthelastofitJerusalemah！cuckoos。
　　SoanyhowwhenIgotbacktheywereatitdingdong，JohnWysesayingitwasBloomgavetheideaforSinnFeintoGriffithtoputinhispaperallkindsofjerrymandering，packedjuriesandswindlingthetaxesoffoftheGovernmentandappointingconsulsallovertheworldtowalkaboutsellingIrishindustries。RobbingPetertopayPaul。Gob，thatputsthebloodykyboshonitifoldsloppyeyesismuckinguptheshow。Giveusabloodychance。GodsaveIrelandfromthelikesofthatbloodymouseabout。
　　MrBloomwithhisargolbargol。Andhisoldfellowbeforehimperpetratingfrauds，oldMethusalemBloom，therobbingbagman，thatpoisonedhimselfwiththeprussicacidafterheswampingthecountrywithhisbaublesandhispennydiamonds。Loansbypostoneasyterms。Anyamountofmoneyadvancedonnoteofhand。Distancenoobject。Nosecurity。Gobhe’slikeLantyMacHale’sgoatthat’dgoapieceoftheroadwitheveryone。
　　Well，it’safact，saysJohnWyse。Andthere’sthemannowthat’lltellyouaboutit，MartinCunningham。
　　SureenoughthecastlecardroveupwithMartinonitandJackPowerwithhimandafellownamedCrofterorCrofton，pensioneroutofthecollectorgeneral’s，anorangemanBlackburndoeshaveontheregistrationandhedrawinghispayorCrawfordgallivantingaroundthecountryattheking’sexpense。
　　Ourtravellersreachedtherustichostelryandalightedfromtheirpalfreys。
　　Ho，varlet！criedhe，whobyhismienseemedtheleaderoftheparty。
　　Saucyknave！Tous！
　　Sosayingheknockedloudlywithhisswordhiltupontheopenlattice。
　　Minehostcameforthatthesummonsgirdinghimwithhistabard。
　　Giveyougoodden，mymasters，saidhewithanobsequiousbow。
　　Bestirthyself，sirrah！criedhewhohadknocked。Looktooursteeds。
　　Andforourselvesgiveusofyourbestforfaithweneedit。
　　Lackaday，goodmasters，saidthehost，mypoorhousehasbutabarelarder。Iknownotwhattoofferyourlordships。
　　Hownow，fellow？criedthesecondoftheparty，amanofpleasantcountenance，soservestthoutheking’smessengers，MasterTaptun？
　　Aninstantaneouschangeoverspreadthelandlord’svisage。
　　Cryyoumercy，gentlemen，hesaidhumbly。Anyoubetheking’smessengersGodshieldHisMajesty！youshallnotwantforaught。Theking’sfriendsGodblessHisMajesty！shallnotgoafastinginmyhouseIwarrantme。
　　Thenabout！criedthetravellerwhohadnotspoken，alustytrenchermanbyhisaspect。Hastaughttogiveus？
　　Minehostbowedagainashemadeanswer：
　　Whatsayyou，goodmasters，toasquabpigeonpasty，somecollopsofvenison，asaddleofveal，widgeonwithcrisphog’sbacon，aboar’sheadwithpistachios，abasonofjollycustard，amedlartansyandaflagonofoldRhenish？
　　Gadzooks！criedthelastspeaker。Thatlikesmewell。Pistachios！
　　Aha！criedheofthepleasantcountenance。Apoorhouseandabarelarder，quotha！’Tisamerryrogue。
　　SoincomesMartinaskingwherewasBloom。
　　Whereishe？saysLenehan。Defraudingwidowsandorphans。
　　Isn’tthatafact，saysJohnWyse，whatIwastellingthecitizenaboutBloomandtheSinnFein？
　　That’sso，saysMartin。Orsotheyallege。
　　Whomadethoseallegations？saysAlf。
　　I，saysJoe。I’mthealligator。
　　Andafterall，saysJohnWyse，whycan’tajewlovehiscountrylikethenextfellow？
　　Whynot？saysJ。J。，whenhe’squitesurewhichcountryitis。
　　IsheajeworagentileoraholyRomanoraswaddlerorwhatthehellishe？saysNed。Orwhoishe？Nooffence，Crofton。
　　Wedon’twanthim，saysCroftertheOrangemanorpresbyterian。
　　WhoisJunius？saysJ。J。
　　He’sapervertedjew，saysMartin，fromaplaceinHungaryanditwashedrewupalltheplansaccordingtotheHungariansystem。Weknowthatinthecastle。
　　Isn’theacousinofBloomthedentist？saysJackPower。
　　Notatall，saysMartin。Onlynamesakes。HisnamewasVirag。Thefather’snamethatpoisonedhimself。Hechangeditbydeedpoll，thefatherdid。
　　That’sthenewMessiahforIreland！saysthecitizen。Islandofsaintsandsages！