BLOOMHerhandsandfeaturesworking。ItwasGeraldconvertedmetobeatruecorsetloverwhenIwasfemaleimpersonatorintheHighSchoolplayViceVersa。ItwasdearGerald。Hegotthatkink，fascinatedbysister’sstays。NowdearestGeraldusespinkygreasepaintandgildshiseyelids。Cultofthebeautiful。
　　BELLOWithwickedglee。Beautiful！Giveusabreather！Whenyoutookyourseatwithwomanishcare，liftingyourbillowyflounces，onthesmoothwornthrone。
　　BLOOMScience。Tocomparethevariousjoysweeachenjoy。Earnestly。
　　Andreallyit’sbettertheposition……becauseoftenIusedtowet。
　　BELLOSternly。Noinsubordination。Thesawdustisthereinthecornerforyou。Igaveyoustrictinstructions，didn’tI？Doitstanding，sir！I’llteachyoutobehavelikeajinkleman！IfIcatchatraceonyourswaddles。Aha！BytheassoftheDoransyou’llfindI’mamartinet。Thesinsofyourpastarerisingagainstyou。Many。Hundreds。
　　THESINSOFTHEPASTInamedleyofvoices。HewentthroughaformofclandestinemarriagewithatleastonewomanintheshadowoftheBlackChurch。UnspeakablemessageshetelephonedmentallytoMissDunnatanaddressind’OlierStreetwhilehepresentedhimselfindecentlytotheinstrumentinthecallbox。Bywordanddeedheencouragedanocturnalstrumpettodepositfecalandothermatterinanunsanitaryouthouseattachedtoemptypremises。Infivepublicconvenienceshewrotepencilledmessagesofferinghisnuptialpartnertoallstrongmemberedmales。Andbytheoffensivelysmellingvitriolworksdidhenotpassnightafternightbylovingcourtingcouplestoseeifandwhatandhowmuchhecouldsee？Didhenotlieinbed，thegrossboar，gloatingoveranauseousfragmentofwellusedtoiletpaperpresentedtohimbyanastyharlot，stimulatedbygingerbreadandapostalorder？
　　BELLOWhistlesloudly。Say！Whatwasthemostrevoltingpieceofobscenityinallyourcareerofcrime？Gothewholehog。Pukeitout。
　　Becandidforonce。
　　Muteinhumanfacesthrongforward，leering，vanishing，gibbering，Eooloohoom。PoldyHock，Bootlacesapenny，cassidy’shag，blindstripling，LarryRhinoceros，thegirl，thewoman，thewhore，theotherthe……
　　BLOOMDon’taskme。Ourmutualfaith。Pleasantsstreet。Ionlythoughtthehalfofthe……Iswearonmysacredoath……
　　BELLOPeremptorily。Answer。Repugnantwretch！Iinsistonknowing。
　　Tellmesomethingtoamuseme，smutorabloodygood-ghoststoryoralineofpoetry，quick，quick，quick！Where？How？Whattime？Withhowmany？I
　　giveyoujustthreeseconds。One！Two！Thr……！
　　BLOOMDocile，gurgles。Irererepugnosedinrerererepugnant……
　　BELLOImperiously。Ogetout，youskunk！Holdyourtongue！
　　Speakwhenyou’respokento。
　　BLOOMBows。Master！Mistress！Mantamer！
　　Heliftshisarms。Hisbanglebraceletsfall。
　　BELLOSatirically。Bydayyouwillsouseandbatoursmellingunderclothes，alsowhenweladiesareunwell，andswaboutourlatrineswithdresspinnedupandadishclouttiedtoyourtail。Won’tthatbenice？Heplacesarubyringonherfinger。Andtherenow！WiththisringItheeown。
　　Say，thankyou，mistress。
　　BLOOMThankyou，mistress。
　　BELLOYouwillmakethebeds，getmytubready，emptythepisspotsinthedifferentrooms，includingoldMrsKeogh’sthecook’s，asandyone。
　　Ay，andrinsethesevenofthemwell，mind，orlapituplikechampagne。
　　Drinkmepipinghot。Hop！youwilldanceattendanceorI’lllectureyouonyourmisdeeds，MissRuby，andspankyourbarebotrightwell，miss，withthehairbrush。You’llbetaughttheerrorofyourways。Atnightyourwellcreamedbraceletedhandswillwearfortythreebuttonglovesnewpowderedwithtalcandhavingdelicatelyscentedfingertips。Forsuchfavoursknightsofoldlaiddowntheirlives。Hechuckles。Myboyswillbenoendcharmedtoseeyousoladylike，thecolonel，aboveall。Whentheycomeherethenightbeforetheweddingtofondlemynewattractioningildedheels。First，I’llhaveagoatyoumyself。AmanIknowontheturfnamedCharlesAlbertaMarshIwasinbedwithhimjustnowandanothergentlemanoutoftheHanaperandPettyBagofficeisonthelookoutforamaidofallworkatashortknock。Swellthebust。Smile。Droopshoulders。Whatoffers？Hepoints。Forthatlottrainedbyownertofetchandcarry，basketinmouth。HebareshisarmandplungesitelbowdeepinBloom’svulva。There’sfinedepthforyou！What，boys？Thatgiveyouahardon？Heshoveshisarminabidder’sface。Here，wetthedeckandwipeitround！
　　ABIDDERAflorin！
　　Dillon’slacqueyringshishandbell。
　　AVOICEOneandeightpencetoomuch。
　　THELACQUEYBarang！
　　CHARLESALBERTAMARSHMustbevirgin。Goodbreath。Clean。
　　BELLOGivesarapwithhisgavel。Twobar。Rockbottomfigureandcheapattheprice。Fourteenhandshigh。Touchandexaminehispoints。
　　Handlehim。Thisdownyskin，thesesoftmuscles，thistenderflesh。IfIhadonlymygoldpiercerhere！Andquiteeasytomilk。Threenewlaidgallonsaday。Apurestockgetter，duetolaywithinthehour。Hissire’smilkrecordwasathousandgallonsofwholemilkinfortyweeks。Whoa，myjewel！Begup！Whoa！HebrandshisinitialConBloom’scroup。
　　So！WarrantedCohen！Whatadvanceontwobob，gentlemen？
　　ADARKVISAGEDMANIndisguisedaccent。Hoondertpuntsterlink。
　　VOICESSubdued。FortheCaliphHarounAlRaschid。
　　BELLOGaily。Right。Letthemallcome。Thescanty，daringlyshortskirt，ridingupatthekneetoshowapeepofwhitepantalette，isapotentweaponandtransparentstockings，emeraldgartered，withthelongstraightseamtrailingupbeyondtheknee，appealtothebetterinstinctsoftheblasé；manabouttown。LearnthesmoothmincingwalkonfourinchLouisXVheels，theGrecianbendwithprovokingcroup，thethighsfluescent，kneesmodestlykissing。Bringallyourpoweroffascinationtobearonthem。PandertotheirGomorrahanvices。
　　BLOOMBendshisblushingfaceintohisarmpitandsimperswithforefingerinmouth。O，Iknowwhatyou’rehintingatnow。
　　BELLOWhatelseareyougoodfor，animpotentthinglikeyou？Hestoopsand，peering，pokeswithhisfanrudelyunderthefatsuetfoldsofBloom’shaunches。Up！Up！Manxcat！Whathavewehere？Where’syourcurlyteapotgonetoorwhodockeditonyou，cockyolly？Sing，birdy，sing。It’saslimpasaboyofsix’sdoinghispoolybehindacart。Buyabucketorsellyourpump。Loudly。Canyoudoaman’sjob？
　　BLOOMEcclesStreet。
　　BELLOSarcastically。Iwouldn’thurtyourfeelingsfortheworldbutthere’samanofbrawninpossessionthere。Thetablesareturned，mygayyoungfellow！Heissomethinglikeafullgrownoutdoorman。Wellforyou，youmuff，ifyouhadthatweaponwithknobsandlumpsandwartsalloverit。Heshothisbolt，Icantellyou！Foottofoot，kneetoknee，bellytobelly，bubstobreast！He’snoeunuch。Ashockofredhairhehasstickingoutofhimbehindlikeafurzebush！Waitforninemonths，mylad！Holyginger，it’skickingandcoughingupanddowninhergutsalready！Thatmakesyouwild，don’tit？Touchesthespot？Hespitsincontempt。Spittoon！
　　BLOOMIwasindecentlytreated，I……informthepolice。Hundredpounds。
　　Unmentionable。I。
　　BELLOWouldifyoucould，lameduck。Adownpourwewant，notyourdrizzle。
　　BLOOMTodrivememad！Moll！Iforgot！Forgive！Moll！……We……Still……
　　BELLORuthlessly。No，LeopoldBloom，allischangedbywoman’swillsinceyouslepthorizontalinSleepyHollowyournightoftwentyyears。
　　Returnandsee。
　　OldSleepyHollowcallsoverthewold。
　　SLEEPYHOLLOWRipVanWinkle！RipVanWinkle！
　　BLOOMIntatteredmoccasinswitharustyfowlingpiece，tiptoeing，fingertipping，hishaggardbonybeardedfacepeeringthroughthediamondpanes，criesout。Iseeher！It’sshe！ThefirstnightatMatDillon’s！
　　Butthatdress，thegreen！Andherhairisdyedgoldandhe。
　　BELLOLaughsmockingly。That’syourdaughter，youowl，withaMullingarstudent。
　　MillyBloom，fairhaired，greenvested，slimsandalled，herbluescabintheseawindsimplyswirling，breaksfromthearmsofherloverandcalls，heryoungeyeswonderwide。
　　MILLYMy！It’sPapli！But。OPapli，howoldyou’vegrown！
　　BELLOChanged，eh？Ourwhatnot，ourwritingtablewhereweneverwrote，AuntHegarty’sarmchair，ourclassicreprintsofoldmasters。Amanandhismenfriendsarelivingthereinclover。TheCuckoos’Rest！Whynot？Howmanywomenhadyou，say？Followingthemupdarkstreets，flatfoot，excitingthembyyoursmotheredgrunts。What，youmaleprostitute？Blamelessdameswithparcelsofgroceries。Turnabout。Sauceforthegoose，mygander，O。
　　BLOOMThey……I
　　BELLOCuttingly。TheirheelmarkswillstamptheBrusselettecarpetyouboughtatWren’sauction。IntheirhorseplaywithMolltheromptofindthebuckfleainherbreechestheywilldefacethelittlestatueyoucarriedhomeintherainforartforart’ssake。Theywillviolatethesecretsofyourbottomdrawer。Pageswillbetornfromyourhandbookofastronomytomakethempipespills。AndtheywillspitinyourtenshillingbrassfenderfromHamptonLeedom’s。
　　BLOOMTenandsix。Theactoflowscoundrels。Letmego。Iwillreturn。
　　Iwillprove……
　　AVOICESwear！
　　Bloomclencheshisfistsandcrawlsforward，abowieknifebetweenhisteeth。
　　BELLOAsapayingguestorakeptman？Toolate。Youhavemadeyoursecondbestbedandothersmustlieinit。Yourepitaphiswritten。Youaredownandoutanddon’tyouforgetit，oldbean。
　　BLOOMJustice！AllIrelandversusone！Hasnobody……？
　　Hebiteshisthumb。
　　BELLODieandbedamnedtoyouifyouhaveanysenseofdecencyorgraceaboutyou。Icangiveyouarareoldwinethat’llsendyouskippingtohellandback。Signawillandleaveusanycoinyouhave。Ifyouhavenoneseeyoudamnwellgetit，stealit，robit！We’llburyyouinourshrubberyjakeswhereyou’llbedeadanddirtywitholdCuckCohen，mystepnephewImarried，thebloodyoldgoutyprocuratorandsodomitewithacrickinhisneck，andmyothertenorelevenhusbands，whateverthebuggers’nameswere，suffocatedintheonecesspool。Heexplodesinaloudphlegmylaugh。We’llmanureyou，MrFlower！Hepipesscoffingly。
　　Byby，Poldy！Byby，Papli！
　　BLOOMClaspshishead。Mywillpower！Memory！Ihavesinned！
　　Ihavesuff……Heweepstearlessly。
　　BELLOSneers。Crybabby！Crocodiletears！
　　Bloom，broken，closelyveiledforthesacrifice，sobs，hisfacetotheearth。Thepassingbellisheard。Darkshawledfiguresofthecircumcised，insackclothandashes，standbythewailingwall。M。Shulomowitz，JosephGoldwaterMosesHerzog，HarrisRosenberg，M。Moisel，J。Citron，MinnieWatchman，0。Mastiansky，theReverendLeopoldAbramovitz，Chazen。WithswayingarmstheywailinpneumaovertherecreantBloom。
　　THECIRCUMCISEDInadarkgutturalchantastheycastdeadseafruituponhim，noflowers。ShemaIsraelAdonaiElohenuAdonaiEchad。
　　VOICESSighing。Sohe’sgone。Ah，yes。Yes，indeed。Bloom？
　　Neverheardofhim。No？Queerkindofchap。There’sthewidow。Thatso？
　　Ah，yes。
　　Fromthesutteepyretheflameofgumcamphireascends。Thepallofincensesmokescreensanddisperses。Outofheroakframeanymphwithhairunbound，lightlycladinteabrownartcolours，descendsfromhergrottoandpassingunderinterlacingyews，standsoverBloom。
　　THEYEWSTheirleaveswhispering。Sister。Oursister。Ssh。
　　THENYMPHSoftly。Mortal！Kindly。Nay，dostnotweepest！
　　BLOOMCrawlsjellilyforwardundertheboughs，streakedbysunlight，withdignity。Thisposition。Ifeltitwasexpectedofme。Forceofhabit。
　　THENYMPHMortal！Youfoundmeinevilcompany，highkickers，costerpicnicmakers，pugilists，populargenerals，immoralpantoboysinfleshtightsandtheniftyshimmydancers，LaAuroraandKarini，musicalact，thehitofthecentury。Iwashiddenincheappinkpaperthatsmeltofrockoil。Iwassurroundedbythestalesmutofclubmen，storiestodisturbcallowyouth，adsfortransparencies，truedupdiceandbustpads，proprietaryarticlesandwhywearatrusswithtestimonialfromrupturedgentleman。
　　Usefulhintstothemarried。
　　BLOOMLiftsaturtleheadtowardsherlap。Wehavemetbefore。
　　Onanotherstar。